Tumblr Humor - Tumblr Posts
My wife (ao3) went to war (down for maintenance) I don't know how long she will be gone (10 hours she's gone for 10 hours) but alas I shall continue to live with our children (downloaded fics) that she told me to take care of during her leave. I already fear the worst in her absence, what if this is like the last time she left us? (the great ao3 shutdown) where che came back battered and bruised and shot? (the DDOS attacks) I know she is strong and many accompany her to battle but I already am lonely without her beside me. Please come back, my lover.
i love when people are like “Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly imagine being asexual, how sad, you’re missing so much…” Bitch!!! You know what’s sad? Being gluten intolerant. If you placed two pills in front of me right now, one which would turn me allosexual and one which would enable me to tear into a freshly-baked oven-warm olive-and-rosemary ciabatta without utterly destroying my body, it would not even be a choice. “hyuhhh-duhhhh aren’t you worried you’ll die alone” aren’t you worried i’ll just launch myself over the bakery counter in our local grocery store one day and stuff croissants in my mouth like a starving racoon til i die and the whole place has to be closed down as a health risk while they peel my bloated body off the linoleum floor? You should be
The Majestic Arabian Sand Boa
That handsome face.
A swift, powerful hunter.
A lithe, graceful form.
Truly the prince of reptiles.
*sniffs fanfiction like a fine wine*
Do I detect a hint of… bedsharing? Mutual pining perhaps?
The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil
On the plus side though being neurodivergant makes your soul taste weird so extraplanar horrors from other dimensions don't want to eat it
Being an autistic magic-user must be really horrible.
‘Cuz like imagine you’re stimming and then you accidentally flick your hands too hard and Tommy is on the ground bleeding out because you accidentally carved out all of his organs.
Simply Delicious Shower Thoughts with Cookie Monster
Video - Via Siz iOS app
wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god
i wanna
i wanna
i wanna
i wanna
i wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zag *WILHELM SCREAM*
And I am a dedicated student
jump off a bridge, cunt
see this is a perfect example of what not to do with a hate ask.
poorly matched to hate target: the suicide bait is a classic of anon hate, but it's a rookie mistake to deploy it against just anybody. any careful look at my blog would see that i am incredibly egotistic--using a hate tactic better suited to a blogger with low self esteem is just sloppy.
too generic to sting: this ask mentions no specific details about any problematic behaviour, annoying personality traits, or my personal life. since it feels like it could have been sent by anyone to anyone, it's difficult to take it personally.
cultural mismatch: 'cunt' probably comes across a lot harsher in your cultural context. however, i live in the UK, so i get called and call other people a cunt every day. as such, you're left with a lackluster ending for a very weak ask overall.
F. see me after class
Isn't it hilarious when someone 's blog says DNI if you are anti/pro something, someone, etc, and then turns out they are the ones interacting with you, even though you are anti/pro that one person/movement/thing?
Why do all dads stand up close as shit to the tv to watch it, like damn my nigga can you not see???
NFT’s are just digital Squishmallows for crypto bros
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