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Shifting

CW minors doing drugs, mentioned suicide attempt, bullet mention, suicide implications, swearing, implied self harm, nonsexual partial nudity, sex mention, blindfold, implied injury

Tatiana

---

I probably should not have taken that edible.

Moon also had an edible in, she was the one who gave them to me, and we just needed an escape route. Me so I didn’t die, her so she could get her mind off her mother being a piece of shit.

We went home a couple hours after I saw the hallucination and when I got home, I went to my room and looked at the torn curtains. God, I still remembered the sound. The sound of my escape from existence being foiled and hitting the ground. It helped to ground me, surprisingly, making me realize that when my mother had cut me down, it meant someone would notice. Someone would care. 

I was almost glad it had been prevented now, but at the time, I was heartbroken and didn’t talk to anyone for weeks afterward. Not my mother, not the staff at the psych ward, not my friends, I didn’t even speak in presentations.

I started writing on my WIP, and felt A Presence that left when I looked up. I wasn’t sure precisely what it was, but it felt familiar. It felt like me. I tried to follow it, but it got away and I sank to my knees in the middle of the hallway.

My mother came back an hour later and gave me a few chocolates, then said, “What’s wrong?”

“I- I feel… numb inside, like something’s gone in me,”

“Oh,”

She sat next to me and I lay on her shoulder as she rubbed my back and whispered, “Well, at least you’re talking about it. Good job!”

I opted to cry into her uniform and sobbed, “I just wanna feel normal for once,”

She lifted me, her cold skin soothing to the touch, and she took me to my room, then started singing a lullaby in a language I didn’t know, despite her having taught me the languages she spoke.

I succumbed to its lull, and fell asleep, and found her asleep outside my door when I woke up a few hours later, she hadn’t even changed out of her uniform.

She woke up after I crept by her and said, “Oh, did I fall asleep?”

“Sim, mamae,” I replied.

“Tá. Vou pra cama, tchauzinho, filha,”

And I could have sworn something hugged me. Not something malevolent, but kind.

—

When I went to school the next day, the girl who sat behind me in German kept throwing scraps of paper at me, and they had horrible words on them.

I eventually had enough and snapped, “Can you stop?”

The teacher told me to go after that, and looked at me sympathetically and, as she gave me the note, said, “Explain the situation to guidance, okay?”

I nodded and went down to guidance, and I felt the phantom hug again and broke down in the middle of the office. 

I went home after that.

I called Cami, and she sounded happy- despite the near, at times, emotionless voice- to hear from me… then started talking about the werewolf shit. That wasn’t a dream.

Shit.

I lay back on my bed and, quite frankly, I was too tired for this, so I just let her talk. Her voice was like a bell and I loved her.

And when she finished speaking, I updated her on my mental state and the hollowness inside, and told her about the bitch in German class.

“Wait. Which German class? Which period?”

“B3, German II,”

I could practically hear her squeal before squeaking, “We’ve got the same class!”

I smiled and, unsure of how to respond, steered the conversation away from that, and we started talking about boats, books, and breaking points in our ability to hold out in this shitty, shitty world.

And she suddenly started crying on the other end.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I- wings- wings wings wings owie-”

“YOU HAVE WINGS?”

My mom popped into the room and looked at me strangely, then told me she was going to work now, and not to expect her ‘til eight.

Now I could talk about the really fucked up shit.

Cami told me she’d been discharged an hour ago and could come over, and I agreed. 

She was at my house within twenty minutes after I gave her the address. Despite the fact there were bullet holes in her legs, she was still able to run in her wolf form, and did, and could walk somehow in her human form, although it greatly hurt her.

I let her in, and we went up to my room before she shifted back and flumped backwards on my bed. She had a bushy blue gray tail and I caught a hint of golden eyes, and she laughed, then covered her eyes before sitting up. I wasn’t sure why, though she did tell me when I asked, and blindfolded herself with a strip of fabric from her pocket to hug me. She didn’t take it off.

She brushed through her tail with a pet brush, then said, “So, wanna see the wings?”

I shrugged, and she said, “Just an fyi, I’m going to take of my shirt, so, please don’t react,”

She peeled it off to show a white crop top, and I saw bandages and scars, including an even line of scars that ran down her torso. 

Her eyes darted around the room, and she tapped her fingers against each other, like I sometimes did when I dissociated. 

She started crying into my shoulder and said, “I don’t know why I did them- I just wanted to feel what Hunt felt so I’d understand, and it was all for nothing, he still hates me- I miss him, I miss him so much,”

I let her cry and felt the phantom hug again, and I also started crying. The touch brought me to life, and that made me shake.

She stopped crying after a bit and hugged me tighter, and said, “What’s wrong?”

“I- the hollowness, it ended for a moment. I-”

I felt like this was all unnatural. Like I shouldn’t exist. Like I shouldn’t be real.

The phantom hug squeezed tighter, and I cried harder.

Cami’s growing wings twitched, and I asked if I could touch them.

She immediately responded with, “So you know how you’re not supposed to touch a bird’s wings?”

I shook my head, and she launched into a rant about how to properly care for birds, and something about bird sex and how petting a bird’s wings leads to them thinking you’re their mate.

Cami

----

As the moon rose a week later, I kept close to Tatiana, and she hugged me in reply as I gathered the pack. She didn’t look me in the eye for safety, which I didn’t mind. One less person I had to make some very forced, very painful eye contact with.

She leaned on my shoulder and a fox that was patterned like a tortie ran up to us, panicked. Her arm had little spikes on it. That hunter I’d turned, then.

She was being chased, and I quickly told everyone to stay away from this area.

I approached Hunter and told him to leave, and he held out his hand and said, “Truce?”

I growled at him, and he backed away. The fox went up to him and got on his foot, and I saw him relax.

And he didn’t have any weapons on him.

I approached and snarled, “Get out. If you’ve hurt her, you’re dead,”

In very broken fox-dialect, I asked the hunter if she was okay.

She replied, in even worse fox-dialect, “Yes. I is okays and he promise not hurt me,”

I smiled and turned back to Tatiana, who looked understandably confused.

And the fox bolted over to her and clawed her with the spiky arm.

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Rain- Chapter One

I sat on my bed, looking out my small glass window as rain beat against it. My back hurt, just like during every storm, but this time felt worse. Like I was going to burst.

I laid in my bed, and heard creaking in my elbow. I looked, and saw spines bursting through my arm. Clear as glass, but clearly more flexible.

My eyes burned, and I wanted to claw them out, and I felt my bones breaking and rearranging into an unnatural form.

I didn’t scream as I dropped to all fours and my teeth retracted, replacing them with needle sharp fangs. Something burst out down my spine, and I watched as my hands turned to clawed paws. And all of a sudden, it was over.

I looked at myself, craning my head. My clothes had been ripped up and fallen off, my skin was covered in gray and white fur.

I got in my bed, suddenly exhausted, and I closed my eyes.

And I woke to an ear-splitting shriek.

“Nico! You monster! LET MY BROTHER GO!”

I looked up, and saw my big brother standing in our doorway.

Mother came with a shovel and handed it to him. He swung, and I hopped off our bed and whimpered, the glass-like frills raised high.

He swung again, catching me in the side and flinging me through the window, glass shattering against me. It had gone to night now. And it still rained. I started running, and I could hear Ari calling my name.

I returned, and Ari threw the shovel at me. And I stayed. He had nothing left to throw, after all.

My little sister, Alia, came out and began throwing small pebbles at me, and those escalated to rocks and slabs of wood we’d saved for any carpenting we needed to do.

And it hurt. Someone grabbed me from behind, and I screamed and kicked. I still sounded human.

The person froze, confused, and I took my leave, running blindly into the Drake River Jungle.

I hid under a tree. Couldn’t let the monsters find me.

The rain let up, and I felt myself shift back. I wore a cape of gray and white fur, with black fabric over the top, and a gray boiled leather tunic, and gray pants. I began my long, slow walk home, and through the filtering moonlight in the leaves, I saw something far too bright to be natural. Was it fire? Was it dragonfire? Worse, was it a wyvern come to seal my fate of misfortune?

And a small creature poked its head out from the trees and looked up. Its mouth was filled with tiny sparks, but I knew it wasn’t a wyvern, the one the blind changeling had been left looked completely different. 

And I realized it was a baby dragon. I hid, not wanting the mother to find me, when it nudged me and squawked, not unlike a wyvern.

It sniffed me, going around, and got on my back, purring. It was far bigger than the changeling’s wyvern, and far more cuddly.

I heard roaring, not unlike how a mother would call her child, and the baby dragon perked up its ears and grabbed my wrist with a wing, taking me to the source.

A big dragon laid on a tree like a tiger, and looked down at me, then growled something at the little dragon.

The little dragon squawked a reply and the big dragon lept off the trees and changed to a humanoid form.

“Hello, darling. My name is Kyilnth. Shapeshifter… I was told you humans shook hands for hospitality?”

He held out a hand, and I took it. His accent was odd, almost like he were speaking through the growls of a dragon.

“Are you lost? Be glad I got to ya before one of the drakes… but my question still stands,”

I nodded. “I- I got chased into the woods and I just want to go home,”

“Of course… get on. I’ll keep the drakes away, you just rest. Must be tired, you poor thing. Where do you live?”

“Feales…” I mumbled after he shifted back, before closing my eyes and dozing off.

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The Faelights master list:

Gierra, the Wolf

An automaton built to lead an army of other automatons, until the day she was put in stasis for routine maintenance. When she next awoke, three centuries had passed, and her home lay in overgrown ruins around her.

She had been awakened by a band of explorers, all of whom were promptly slaughtered for trespassing. She found another of her kind still intact and revived her as well, and the two would guard the ruined city-state for a decade, massacring anyone foolish enough to attempt plundering it for riches. During one such attempted theft, an underground chamber was revealed, the dusty air choking the thieves long enough for Gierra to dispatch them. Within the chamber, she found only a mask depicting a beautiful woman's face, the eyes obscured by silver cobwebs. Rather than return the mask to its display case, Gierra decided to keep it with her. Something compelled her to keep it close.

Gierra began to have thoughts. Not directives from long-dead rulers, not logical conclusions based on machine learning, but thoughts. She wondered about the world beyond the city-state's crumbling walls. Was the world outside still ruled by wise old women? Do they still worship the goddesses in the proper manner?

One day... Gierra simply left. Abandoned her duty, abandoned her comrade, abandoned the only home she'd ever had. Beyond the walls was a vast jungle, full of life. Beyond the jungle lay other cities, brimming with people. So much noise and color was nearly overwhelming after so many years surrounded by dust and greenery.

Then she began to notice things that undercut the dazzling display of this new world. Old women were left sick and shivering in alleyways. Women were forced to wear constricting, heavy clothing that covered every inch of their bodies and hair. Girls were forbidden to run and play with boys. Young women were leered at while they cowered away. Everywhere, men carried swords and ran shops and enjoyed themselves with working women and alcohol.

The first time Gierra encountered a man beating his wife, she was so appalled that she broke into the house and ripped the man apart. To her surprise, the woman began to scream in terror, calling for help, and Gierra was chased out of town by soldiers attempting to arrest her. She did not understand why the woman feared her, when Gierra had just saved her from such unjust abuse.

It was now that the mask began to whisper to her. It informed her that the female-dominated ways of her old life were long past, and men had taken over, subjugating women so thoroughly that they couldn't fathom being able to fight back. The mask revealed to her that this new world was full of such societies, where women suffered and died at the hands of men. The news infuriated Gierra.

From that day forward, she vowed to use her strength to protect women whenever she could. While her physical limitations meant that not all could be saved, perhaps her efforts could spark others to do the same.

Gierra donned the mask, allowing the whispering voice to guide her, and she began her crusade.