Whump A Bit - Tumblr Posts

Shifting

CW minors doing drugs, mentioned suicide attempt, bullet mention, suicide implications, swearing, implied self harm, nonsexual partial nudity, sex mention, blindfold, implied injury

Tatiana

---

I probably should not have taken that edible.

Moon also had an edible in, she was the one who gave them to me, and we just needed an escape route. Me so I didn’t die, her so she could get her mind off her mother being a piece of shit.

We went home a couple hours after I saw the hallucination and when I got home, I went to my room and looked at the torn curtains. God, I still remembered the sound. The sound of my escape from existence being foiled and hitting the ground. It helped to ground me, surprisingly, making me realize that when my mother had cut me down, it meant someone would notice. Someone would care. 

I was almost glad it had been prevented now, but at the time, I was heartbroken and didn’t talk to anyone for weeks afterward. Not my mother, not the staff at the psych ward, not my friends, I didn’t even speak in presentations.

I started writing on my WIP, and felt A Presence that left when I looked up. I wasn’t sure precisely what it was, but it felt familiar. It felt like me. I tried to follow it, but it got away and I sank to my knees in the middle of the hallway.

My mother came back an hour later and gave me a few chocolates, then said, “What’s wrong?”

“I- I feel… numb inside, like something’s gone in me,”

“Oh,”

She sat next to me and I lay on her shoulder as she rubbed my back and whispered, “Well, at least you’re talking about it. Good job!”

I opted to cry into her uniform and sobbed, “I just wanna feel normal for once,”

She lifted me, her cold skin soothing to the touch, and she took me to my room, then started singing a lullaby in a language I didn’t know, despite her having taught me the languages she spoke.

I succumbed to its lull, and fell asleep, and found her asleep outside my door when I woke up a few hours later, she hadn’t even changed out of her uniform.

She woke up after I crept by her and said, “Oh, did I fall asleep?”

“Sim, mamae,” I replied.

“Tá. Vou pra cama, tchauzinho, filha,”

And I could have sworn something hugged me. Not something malevolent, but kind.

—

When I went to school the next day, the girl who sat behind me in German kept throwing scraps of paper at me, and they had horrible words on them.

I eventually had enough and snapped, “Can you stop?”

The teacher told me to go after that, and looked at me sympathetically and, as she gave me the note, said, “Explain the situation to guidance, okay?”

I nodded and went down to guidance, and I felt the phantom hug again and broke down in the middle of the office. 

I went home after that.

I called Cami, and she sounded happy- despite the near, at times, emotionless voice- to hear from me… then started talking about the werewolf shit. That wasn’t a dream.

Shit.

I lay back on my bed and, quite frankly, I was too tired for this, so I just let her talk. Her voice was like a bell and I loved her.

And when she finished speaking, I updated her on my mental state and the hollowness inside, and told her about the bitch in German class.

“Wait. Which German class? Which period?”

“B3, German II,”

I could practically hear her squeal before squeaking, “We’ve got the same class!”

I smiled and, unsure of how to respond, steered the conversation away from that, and we started talking about boats, books, and breaking points in our ability to hold out in this shitty, shitty world.

And she suddenly started crying on the other end.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I- wings- wings wings wings owie-”

“YOU HAVE WINGS?”

My mom popped into the room and looked at me strangely, then told me she was going to work now, and not to expect her ‘til eight.

Now I could talk about the really fucked up shit.

Cami told me she’d been discharged an hour ago and could come over, and I agreed. 

She was at my house within twenty minutes after I gave her the address. Despite the fact there were bullet holes in her legs, she was still able to run in her wolf form, and did, and could walk somehow in her human form, although it greatly hurt her.

I let her in, and we went up to my room before she shifted back and flumped backwards on my bed. She had a bushy blue gray tail and I caught a hint of golden eyes, and she laughed, then covered her eyes before sitting up. I wasn’t sure why, though she did tell me when I asked, and blindfolded herself with a strip of fabric from her pocket to hug me. She didn’t take it off.

She brushed through her tail with a pet brush, then said, “So, wanna see the wings?”

I shrugged, and she said, “Just an fyi, I’m going to take of my shirt, so, please don’t react,”

She peeled it off to show a white crop top, and I saw bandages and scars, including an even line of scars that ran down her torso. 

Her eyes darted around the room, and she tapped her fingers against each other, like I sometimes did when I dissociated. 

She started crying into my shoulder and said, “I don’t know why I did them- I just wanted to feel what Hunt felt so I’d understand, and it was all for nothing, he still hates me- I miss him, I miss him so much,”

I let her cry and felt the phantom hug again, and I also started crying. The touch brought me to life, and that made me shake.

She stopped crying after a bit and hugged me tighter, and said, “What’s wrong?”

“I- the hollowness, it ended for a moment. I-”

I felt like this was all unnatural. Like I shouldn’t exist. Like I shouldn’t be real.

The phantom hug squeezed tighter, and I cried harder.

Cami’s growing wings twitched, and I asked if I could touch them.

She immediately responded with, “So you know how you’re not supposed to touch a bird’s wings?”

I shook my head, and she launched into a rant about how to properly care for birds, and something about bird sex and how petting a bird’s wings leads to them thinking you’re their mate.

Cami

----

As the moon rose a week later, I kept close to Tatiana, and she hugged me in reply as I gathered the pack. She didn’t look me in the eye for safety, which I didn’t mind. One less person I had to make some very forced, very painful eye contact with.

She leaned on my shoulder and a fox that was patterned like a tortie ran up to us, panicked. Her arm had little spikes on it. That hunter I’d turned, then.

She was being chased, and I quickly told everyone to stay away from this area.

I approached Hunter and told him to leave, and he held out his hand and said, “Truce?”

I growled at him, and he backed away. The fox went up to him and got on his foot, and I saw him relax.

And he didn’t have any weapons on him.

I approached and snarled, “Get out. If you’ve hurt her, you’re dead,”

In very broken fox-dialect, I asked the hunter if she was okay.

She replied, in even worse fox-dialect, “Yes. I is okays and he promise not hurt me,”

I smiled and turned back to Tatiana, who looked understandably confused.

And the fox bolted over to her and clawed her with the spiky arm.

Masterlist: https://www.tumblr.com/otterfrost/751298007803297792/masterlist?source=share

If you want to be added to the taglist, just ask!