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We lost the Summer

⚝fic type: Y/A (coming-of-age)

⚝genre/contains: huening kai x reader, fluff, angst, gn!reader, non-idol!au, friends2lovers if you wish on your lucky stars haha

⚝warnings: quite a few mentions of food (mostly ice-cream), one mention of alcohol (beer), brief mention of bullying (unspecified)

⚝word count: 2.5k, pt 1/2 (part 2)

⚝A/N: To help combat the lack of stand-alone hyuka fics on here ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ As the title suggests, this is inspired by the song of the same name by txt! Hope that helps explain why I'm posting a winter-themed fic on the onset of summer lol.

You always seemed to be missing a piece of stationery in 5th grade. Every time a lost pencil was replaced by your exasperated mother, there went your ruler the following week. It wasn’t until halfway into the term that you realized it was your plushie-loving deskmate, Kai. His speciality was pickpocketing your array of coloured glitter pens. Those were his favourite. It boiled your blood immensely but your teacher refused to change the seating plan, no matter how much you pleaded.

Between this and his penchant for tearing up pieces of paper to bits, you don’t even know how you and Huening Kai became friends.

It perhaps started as a result of one of his hushed comments about another classmate. He reminded you a lot of one of your aunts who loved to gossip. He even eagerly leaned in just like she did whenever you quickly whispered the latest playground drama into his awaiting ear. Kai would be stifling snorts as you exchanged notes under your shared table while your unsuspecting teacher jotted endless notes onto the whiteboard.

Sometimes, you thought he did this to make you feel better about the bullying you went through. If Kai ever found you sitting alone in class, sad after someone taunted you, he’d immediately crack a joke to make you feel better. All the kids were a little mean to each other, you’d try reason to yourself that way in a bid to keep what you thought was self-pity at bay. You just never really learned the art of sticking up for yourself. Kai took your mind off it. It was the best he could do as he hated confrontations of any kind.

Eventually, your friendship grew firm enough to bloom outside the confines of your school’s walls. It was a surprise to find out you lived on the same street. You’d never seen him while playing outside, but he explained his family would go visit his grandparents in another part of town on most weekends.

To add to that, Kai was quite the homebody and preferred to hole up in his room playing video games (while being surrounded by a hoard of stuffed animals) during his down time. This gradually changed the longer you two were friends. You lured him out of his den to be your dance buddy with promises of mint-chocolate ice cream and skittles as a reward.

You’d spend your weekends in each other’s company, bouncing between each other’s houses. You had been formally introduced to all his plushies, and your mom always served Kai extra helpings of whatever she was cooking when he came over.

The memory makes you sigh as you stand outside an ice-cream shop deciding what to order. The cool November breeze feels delicious as you stretch your legs after a long morning of studying in your university’s stuffy library. Your habit of eating ice-cream no matter the season had extended to your adult life. Other customers– bundled in their winter coats– eye you weirdly as you determinedly go over the shop’s ice-cream menu. Exam season was around the corner and the hours you had been putting in were starting to catch up with you. It showed through the eye bags sagging underneath your tired eyes and the yawns you barely manage to stifle under a gloved palm.

You’d moved to a different city after high school following your acceptance into a university there. The institution had been your second option– you’d narrowly missed your first and that fact had left you sour for months. Nevertheless, the classes were going good and the people you had met so far were nice enough… but when it came to finding a place that suited your niche for some much needed ‘me time’, you weren’t in luck. You missed your happy place, the record shop back home. No place in the city had offered you that comforting familiarity so far. It was quite a daunting experience to have to find new spots outside of your dorm to unwind.

You’d sometimes pop into that corner store even when you didn’t have the money to buy new music– just to look at what albums were up. The owner who’d come to know you well had gifted you an album when you graduated. You’d been saving up for the vinyl version so you could listen to it on the record player Kai got you for your thirteenth birthday.

He bought it for himself, really– because within a few months your shelves were filled with more of his albums than your own. He claimed he was tired of using the old gramophone his grandmother had given them, and would stumble into your room on a Saturday afternoon with his arms stacked with albums.

Sometimes, they were so many he’d have to cage the top of the hoard in with his chin. He’d be leaning back from the weight, his long black bangs obscuring his eyesight, and by the time he got to your doorstep the stack was teetering so precariously your mother had to relieve him of nearly half the collection as the two of them lugged the heap into the house.

Almost all your childhood memories contained Kai.

It made you dimly think that it wasn’t the places back home you missed. Rather, the memories they held. And if so many of these memories were about Kai then you should probably stop beating around the bush, and admit that you indeed missed him. You'd catch yourself checking your calendar more often than you cared to admit, having randomly remembered a date that was important to the two of you.

Every lunar eclipse, the Wednesday specials at your favourite restaurant, all his plushies’ birthdays, rock collectors’ day… all these silly little events that brought you two joy in between your harrowing school life. At the end of a long week- no matter what any of your classmates had said or the tests Kai had flunked– the two of you would still be able to scramble to his or your dining table with smiles, eagerly waiting for dinner.

You and Kai had unfortunately drifted apart towards the end of high school and over the course of the months spent in a new city you’d been convincing yourself that it didn’t bother you as much as you knew it did– deep down. You reckoned that even when you went back home at the end of the semester, the two of you wouldn’t have much in common. You had matured over time and you were sure Kai had too.

A big part of your moving away was about becoming a better version of yourself– away from the influences you grew up with. Initially, it had been a real struggle to find your footing; you subconsciously felt that you had something to prove to the kids you went to school with. They were always putting you down and you had ended up changing so many aspects of yourself at the time and sucking up to them to be more likeable.

You’d started hanging out with a different crowd around your senior year, ironically containing some of the people who would bully you. It was easier to ignore that fact than the spurts of serotonin you got every time you said something witty enough to make them laugh. Your school didn’t have much of a social hierarchy, so you wouldn’t necessarily call them the ‘cool kids’. That was far too cliché. They were just… different. Wholly unlike your small group of friends that you’d had previously.

It irked Kai, seeing you put up some type of façade. Granted, he had begun to change too, becoming more temperamental in his late teenage years. To you, he was far too moody and snapped too often. So many of your little arguments turned into big fights and eventually there was an ice wall between the two of you.

The tension had really stressed you out at first, but your mother had told you to give things time to cool down. Your family was still wholesomely pleasant to Kai, even though his visits became few and far in between. She’d said that the two of you would still be friends in the end, that if it was ‘meant to be’ it would work itself out. You had been sceptical about that take, and even more so when her advice didn’t work.

He stopped coming over, the few albums he’d left on your shelf abandoned and gradually gathering dust as you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to them without him. The two of you were exchanging nothing more than rushed pleasantries in the hallways by that point.

Wandering through the city alone reminded you strongly of those lonely lunch time hours following your fallout with Kai. You would usually run all your plans through him and the two of you would figure out what to do together. Nevertheless, the loneliness taught you to have some individuality, and there were no ‘if’s or ‘but’s about that. It was the trait you admired most in Kai. His ability to block out all the noise and do whatever the heck he wanted.

Kai never succumbed to peer pressure, even at a young age. More so during the onslaught of crush culture, when he simply laughed (unnecessarily loud) at the antics your classmates pulled to impress their desired guy or girl. Huening Kai would be caught dead sacrificing his lunch money to woo someone with a gift he bought instead. When he was on the receiving end of such bestowals, however, his boisterous laughter would be replaced with a bashful giggle as he amicably thanked whoever gifted him.

You’d caught yourself gazing at him rather too fondly yourself… noticing little attributes that endeared him to you in a way that sparked a foreign sensation in your gut. The way his lips puckered when he had his cheeks stuffed with a cupcake, the faint smell of his mother’s favourite detergent that lingered on your pillow long after a sleepover had ended… the teasing lilt his voice would adopt as he called out your name while messily tying his soccer cleats’ laces...

Some days you would run ahead of him just to hear it, leaving him to struggle as he hunkered down in a corner of the grassy soccer pitch. However, your older sister had advised you against making any kind of move. Having been the victim of unsuccessful confessions herself, she’d warned that you would be ruining a good friendship. And so your budding infatuation simmered to an eventual halt.

—

Walking the familiar path back to the university, you were drawn out of your reverie by a dog running up to you and wagging its tail at your feet. The poor thing barely reached your shin and your heart swelled at the sight of its tiny brown frame. Its owner smiled at you cordially as you reached down to pat it, its fluffy fur comforting you even through your gloves as you hold your ice-cream at arm’s length with your other hand. The best part about winter-time ice-cream sprees was that you didn’t need to worry much about it melting and dripping onto the pup.

As it merrily trotted back to its owner you took a short lick of your treat with a smile on your face, marvelling at how such a small encounter could change the course of your day for the better. It was these little excitements that reminded you of why you’d taken the chance and moved.

The city isn't all bad, you muse, looking into the buildings you pass that are buzzing with activity as the day wears on. As you’d previously established, the people around here were nice. You’d made at least one good friend this semester. A lanky, fluffy haired boy named Soobin. Oh, how you wish you could stuff him in your pocket! Sure, you had to crane your neck up to look him in the eye and his hands were so big that your face could fit in one alone, but his soft disposition absolved your initial intimidation.

Soobin was in your economics class and had approached you in the cafeteria two weeks into the term, offering you a seat at his lunch table with a few of his friends. The space was so huge and it was jarring trying to find a place to sit. You remember shyly agreeing; silently kicking yourself for managing to give off a ‘lost puppy’ kind of vibe when you were supposed to be making a shot at being independent. By now, however, you had gotten sufficient time to practice– there were so many decisions you had to make for yourself now... socially, mentally and especially financially.

Hacking this new chapter of your life solo had been a tempting plan, but Soobin was fun to be around. Between your shared love for gaming and his seemingly aloof personality that complemented your over-analysing one, the two of you made quite the pair. On top of that he was a great wingman on the rare occasion you met someone you found cute at a fair or convention.

You hadn’t yet been swept up by the notorious college night life (not with the workload your major came with), but Soobin was still with you the few times you’d actually attend a party. He’s the one who would get you invited anyway; you didn’t know how he did it since he was such a homebody. Him sticking with you had more to do with keeping you from escaping than anything else, though.

“You really need to enjoy this time while you’re at it,” he had tried persuading you on one such occasion, switching your mocktail for a beer. You’d been quick to shove it back in his retreating hand, spilling a little of your drink on your shorts in the process. He’d laughed at you rumbustiously for what felt like forever until you nagged him, calling him by his full name and ordering him to go get you a napkin.

“You’ll miss these opportunities sorely when you’re like, forty and have kids to feed.” He’d called back ominously as he disappeared into the crowd. He was still rambling on about how these were the ‘prime years’ of your life while being swept up into the sea of swaying bodies and you struggled to hear him over the bass of the pop song blaring through the speakers. You vaguely recalled that it was your sister’s favourite and raised a glass in her honour. Somehow, you managed to spill even more of your drink in the process. Soobin just happened to return at that moment, and your dimpled friend could barely contain his amusement even when shot with the deadliest glare you could muster.

The pleasure Soobin derived from your misfortunes strongly reminded you of Kai, who’s favourite misgiving of yours was your clumsiness. You vividly remember a day when you were rushing from math to P.E., attempting to tie your shoelaces while standing. As you tumbled to the ground in a hazardous heap, his laugh echoed down the hallways, causing teachers in the nearby classrooms to peep through their respective doors and glare at you two disapprovingly.

⚝A/N: I've been working on this story for quite a while and I'm happy with the way it's turning out :) I'd love to hear your thoughts xx

We lost the Summer

fic type: Y/A (coming-of-age)

genre/contains: huening kai x reader, fluff, angst, gn!reader, non-idol!au, friends2lovers if you wish on your lucky stars haha

warnings: quite a few mentions of food (mostly ice-cream), one mention of alcohol (beer)

word count: 2.5k, pt ½

⚝A/N: To help combat the lack of stand-alone hyuka fics on here ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ As the title suggests, this is inspired by the song of the same name by txt! Hope that helps explain why I’m posting a winter-themed fic on the onset of summer lol. (This was supposed to come out last week but oh well cbfjkgsid)

You always seemed to be missing a piece of stationery in 5th grade. Every time a lost pencil was replaced by your exasperated mother, there went your ruler the following week. It wasn’t until halfway into the term that you realized it was your plushie-loving deskmate, Kai. His speciality was pickpocketing your array of coloured glitter pens. Those were his favourite. It boiled your blood immensely but your teacher refused to change the seating plan, no matter how much you pleaded.

Between this and his penchant for tearing up pieces of paper to bits, you don’t even know how you and Huening Kai became friends.

Keep reading

We lost the Summer

⚝fic type: Y/A (coming-of-age)

⚝genre/contains: huening kai x reader, fluff, angst, gn!reader, non-idol!au with a dash of friends2lovers

⚝warnings: mentions of food (sweets & ice-cream)

⚝word count: 3.5k, pt 2/2 (part 1)

⚝A/N: Yes, I'm finally releasing this two months later. It's taken me so long to be happy with it 😭✌ but here we are! Dedicated to blonde hyuka who I've loved since forever💙

Spring break was fast approaching… and with it came that insufferable exam fever, punctuated by short bursts of the euphoric feeling of finally understanding the subject material. Much like the sun was now trying to peak its way down to you. Soft and tentative and brimming with the hope of a new season.

Your life in the city had taken an upturn. You started going out more often, and made good friends– some of whom you knew would be sticking around for the long run. It didn’t feel lonely anymore, and the uncertainty you had previously lugged around with every step had begun to unthaw like everything else as the seasons changed.

Mid-term exams came and went in a fleeting moment of perilous pressure, characterised by Soobin bursting into the library (earning himself a very dirty look from the librarian) and declaring that he actually hadn’t failed calculus. The exam season had been rough for you as well, but you tried to not worry about it too much. In any case, your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of flying home and all the things you’d do when you got there. You wondered if everything would be just as you’d left it, or if there had been significant change. It had only been nine months, sure, but that had been a lot of growing time on your end. Mentally, you were leaps and bounds ahead of where you’d been when you first moved out here.

A slight drizzle had kicked up by the time you got home, but you didn’t mind it one bit, immediately indulging yourself in all the familiar pleasures you had so dearly missed. The restaurant you used to frequent had been closed down, but your mother didn’t give you any time to grieve it with all the dishes she was whipping up. Your parents had always let you find your own way, and hadn’t tried convincing you to stay in your hometown when you decided to move away. Nevertheless, they had missed you all the same, and made up for the lost time with filling dinners and family outings.

As much as you tried not to think about him, Kai had been lingering at the back of your mind since you booked your flight home. The two of you had not talked in over nine months. Was he still living there? Maybe he’d taken a chance, like you, and moved away. You knew he’d always wanted to be a perfumer– as crazy as that sounds– and was now probably majoring in Chemistry.

Kai was sometimes your last thought before you slept, and your drowsy mind would annoyingly draw up scenarios of meeting him again. You had subtly asked your older sister about him and she’d confirmed that he still lived in your hometown. You would have to make a great effort to not ‘accidentally’ walk by his house as you strolled around the neighbourhood. You had spotted him around a few times; at the gas station once– the baseball cap obscuring his features doing nothing to stop you from recognizing your ex-best friend. You flush at the memory of how your heart had hammered as you rolled down your seat in order not to be seen by him. Your sister had given you a very curious look at that.

The first time you bumped into each other, you had quite literally halted in your tracks. You’d been hurrying off to a reunion party with a few of your family members and had rushed into the convenience store to get some snacks for the road. Kai was in the confectioneries isle, stacking up on skittles, marshmallows and gummy bears. You couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled in your throat at the sight of his face taut with concentration. Kai detested shopping, yet never trusted anyone else to do his candy shopping for him. That was a sacred matter.

Kai had grown so much over your time apart. His long black locks had been cut short, his hair now a glowing blonde. It suited him well; the short pale strands accentuated his features that had begun to sharpen with time. You hadn’t been as adventurous, barely changing your hairstyle in your time away. However, you didn’t feel conscious about it– you were learning how to live life at your own pace. Before, such an inconsequential difference would have made you feel left behind. Everything had been a competition when you were in high school– and you used to feel like you were on the losing end half of the time.

Kai’s smile was as sweet as ever when he turned around at the sound of footsteps to be met by your own small smile. His cheeky grin lit up his face as his eyes danced under the fluorescent lights. The way the corners of his mouth quirked upwards always made him look like he was up to mischief– which he was, most of the time. Your friendship growing up had been greatly characterised by you bailing the two of you out of trouble after he’d convinced you to join him in doing something dumb (and mildly dangerous).

The two of you awkwardly fumbled between a hug and a handshake, all the more as you settled for a shaky version of the latter. Even though it was evident that you were both excited to meet each other again, your attempt at small talk did not venture beyond surface-level conversations. The hesitance that characterized all your meetings, hanging over them like a fog, reminded you of the gap breached between the two of you in high school. Just like back then, there were a few times in the present when you sensed that he might make a shot at truly reconnecting… but the moment would pass without any new development. Something kept getting in the way. Fear, pride… you couldn’t pin point exactly what it was. Another holiday was quickly coming to an end without the two of you making up, just like the way you’d lost the summer.

—

Eventually, about a fortnight before you were scheduled to travel back to college, you bump into Kai at your music store. This store had housed some of the best memories of your childhood; to find everything exactly as you had left it was a comfort words could not describe. You remember how sorely you had missed strolling through these isles at the beginning of your college year. Meeting Kai here only fuelled the nostalgia as you were the one who introduced him to this little slice of paradise on one of your innumerable walks home from school, back when you were children. It surprises you that Kai’s taste in music hasn’t changed much. Yours, on the other hand, had undergone a transformation of sorts within the time you’ve been away. It’s crazy how much music contributes to your mood; now that you’re listening to what you want (rather than going along with other people’s persuasions), you’ve found yourself far happier than you were during your high school years.

The two of you stumble over pleasantries as usual, sneaking glances at each other as you browse the shelves. At times your eyes would meet and you would be the one to look away, for Kai would only hold your gaze and venture no further. In your periphery you could spot the store’s owner, Namjoon, eyeing the two of you curiously. For all he knew, all he’d ever known, you and Kai were the best of friends– simply inseparable. He had never questioned you when you stopped bringing Kai to get new music with you in your final year of high school, simply assuming that the need to study was keeping Kai cooped up at home.

In the end, growing restless from this silent game, Kai broke the ice first and approached you, cracking an inside joke that he knew you could never resist laughing at. Within a matter of minutes it became apparent how foolish both of you were being by trying to avoid one another.

It’s amazing how conversation flows so naturally; anybody watching you two wouldn’t be able to tell that there had been radio silence from both ends for so long. Too long… but that void was rapidly closing with each laugh he managed to pull out of you.

The two of you agree to hit up your old ice cream parlour and Namjoon waves you goodbye on your way out, delight lighting up his features now that his favourite pair of troublemakers were back in business.

—

What you didn’t know was that Kai had missed you so much he couldn’t bear it. He would often catch himself wandering aimlessly on his walks alone after the two of you fell out. To see you again had given him a sliver of hope that he could make everything go back to the way it once was.

But Kai knew you well, and figured that the stubbornness in you– that he had over time grown to love– wouldn’t let you reach out first. Nevertheless, when he saw you at the music store he was determined to get you back. Somehow, he was going to make this work.

It had taken him so much time to stop eyeing his calendar after you left for college without coming to say goodbye. He was constantly reminded of you by the important dates you had marked onto it. Movie releases, when your favourite albums dropped, exams that you had to study for… you’d jot them down with the coloured glitter pens you would find scattered around his room. Your pens, actually- because Kai had an uncanny ability to nick them without you noticing a thing. You still scolded him for it now, almost a decade later.

—

You and Kai had spent countless Friday afternoons peering outside this parlour’s large windows, kneeling on your chairs to watch passers-by and cook up stories about what you two thought their lives were like. Kai would be reduced to fits of giggles as you pointed out random people with your ice-cream cone and invented incredibly detailed (and slightly unrealistic) tales about them. Your all-time favourite was a burly man who frequented the office building adjacent to the parlour. The two of you had convinced yourselves that guy was part of some mafia syndicate. He was always in dark sunglasses, had a comically twisted moustache, and on warmer days would rest against the hood of his car and smoke a cigar.

You find out Kai did really well in his high school exams; you hadn’t really followed up at the time. Your family was big on sending success cards, but when they sent one to Kai, the two of you were still distant. You remember writing a generic ‘good luck’ message that didn’t feel personal, didn’t feel like it was written by a friend he’d had for years. You feel a twinge of sadness at that. It’s crazy to think nearly all the ‘friendships’ that you had basically dumped Kai for had died out by the end of the summer following high school. It seemed the minute they left those school gates, those friends seemed to be ‘too busy’ for you. And yet, the boy who’d stuck by your side for so long was here with you now.

After getting your order you sit on the sidewalk outside the parlour sharing earphones. You two laugh as you remember getting into trouble together for doing this during a lesson when you were deskmates. Kai had been a quiet kid before befriending you… but that changed drastically once he came out of his shell. Kai was constantly getting himself into trouble, both at school and at home. You’ll always loved the image of a then tiny Kai being scolded and pinched on his chubby cheek for coming home all muddy after an electrifying football match. It had been around the world cup and all the kids on your street would spend the whole day outside, mimicking the matches they had watched on TV. Kai had been trying to run into the kitchen with filthy shoes all because he’d smelled his favourite food. As you shared your current mishaps and gossiped about the students in your respective courses, you were starting to feel like you’d gotten your confidant back. Kai was so easy to talk to. He was never judgemental and, after years of friendship, understood what you were saying before you even completed your sentences. It only occurred to you now, in the tentative afternoon sun, how handsome Kai was becoming as he grew older. Had he really always looked like this?

When you looked at him for too long, however, all you could see was that mischievous boy who’d been stealing all your glitter pens since fifth grade– and you told him as much.

“What do you mean by that?” He gasped, then raised an eyebrow. “You don’t find me breath-taking?”

“Absolutely not-”

“Simply just dazzling?” He posed, pouting his lips.

“Nope,” you laughed. “You’re a thief. A criminal, Kai.”

“Then you must be Britney Spears.” He teased with a wink, causing you to throw your bag at him with mock disgust.

—

On the eve of your departure, Kai agreed to come over and help you pack. It was the last time you would have any time together before you left as only your family was taking you to the airport for your short flight back. You had spent the better part of your last two weeks at home in each other’s company.

But despite of your plans, the day stretched on with no sign of Huening Kai.

You called him to no avail, because his phone was off. You’d tried waiting for him… tried to delay your inevitable separation, but it was no use. Packing your things alone, you bit back your worry and slight disappointment, hoping that Kai was alright and figuring that something urgent must’ve come up.

Kai showed up the next day, about half an hour before you were scheduled to leave for the airport. By that time you had written off any hope of seeing him before you left, so it surprised you when he came hurtling into your room.

“I’m so sorry I’m late I-”

“Are you alright? What happened?” You took note of the way he was panting as if he’d just ran a marathon.

“My dog,” he explained, trying to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it. She got sick, and the vet was out of town. My phone died on me-”

“Hey,” you softly stopped his rambling, motioning for him to take a seat on your bed. “Take it easy, it’s fine.”

Any disappointment that you previously held dissipated at the genuine remorse in his eyes. You knew that dog was getting really old, and how Kai would do anything not to lose her just yet… even if, like the two of you now, the separation would eventually be inevitable. Kai had always been bad at handling goodbyes of any nature, and for the first time you wondered how he coped when you left last August.

“It’s not fine, I know-” his breath got caught in his chest and he took a moment to steady his breathing. “I know you’ll be leaving for even longer this time and I…”

He trailed off, eyes trained on your shelf full of his music albums. His eyebrows furrowed as if he was in pain.

What he was saying was true, you had planned to stay in your college’s city till the end of year. Your life in the new city had started to look up; you were starting to really enjoy your time there.

“I know you won’t be coming back for the summer,” he continued, standing up and walking towards you. “And we’ve both been pretty stupid but I honestly wish I hadn’t wasted so much time.”

His mind was racing with the slight panic of losing you again. A nightmarish week, another month, a year…

He couldn’t bear to live in limbo for any longer, not when you’d just managed to reconcile. He felt bad you two spent nearly the whole holiday avoiding each other. Being with you this summer had evoked feelings within him that he had previously dismissed. Kai wondered if, given the chance, your friendship could eventually have led to something bigger.

“I should’ve looked for you earlier, maybe if I had-”

“There’s no point in dwelling on that now,” you tried reasoning with him.

You were caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, you didn’t see a real reason to keep flying back home- it costed money, and was really rather unnecessary considering your parents weren’t nagging you to keep visiting; you’d been lucky in that department, unlike so many of your classmates. On the other hand, here was your best friend of so many years who you doubt you could live without again.

Your thoughts are interrupted by your sister calling for you from downstairs, announcing that it was time to leave.

Kai felt like he was losing his grip. He racked his brain for a convincing argument but his conscience knew that making you come back just for him would be selfish considering how happy you were in your new city.

He pulled you into an unexpected hug, trying to convey all that he struggled to put into words into it. You noticed that he’d changed his cologne since high school. This one was mature compared to the crazy experiments he used to pull… mixing different scents into one bottle and beaming when it smelled half decent.

You found yourself melting into the embrace, drawing him impossibly closer. You had missed this for so long when the two of you were apart. Kai placed a soft kiss to your temple and the action made your breath catch for a moment. You remembered all those months ago when your mother told you that if it was meant to be it would work out in the end.

He mustered a faint smile when you pull away to face him again.

“I’m not losing you again.” You promised determinedly, ruffling his blonde hair that you’d steadily become obsessed with.  

“We’ll find a way.” He promised back simply with a wink, returning to his usual playful nature.

The two of you make your way downstairs, Kai offering to help you with your luggage. Your mother, who’d not seen Kai come in, beams at him when you two get to the landing. She’d been ecstatic when you dragged him over for dinner last week, seeing that he hadn’t been over in almost a year.

The very last goodbyes are the hardest ones of all, you conclude, when you pull Kai into a final hug. You didn’t want to think about how difficult it would be to walk away from your family once it was time to board the plane.

You find yourself muttering his name with the air that it was the last time you’d have it on your lips; slightly pained and breathless with defeat. He pulls you in tighter, whispering reassurances in your ear. If anything, the fact that you had him back in your life would be enough comfort to get you through your flight.

—

The plane ride is uneventful and you can already feel the jetlag knocking on your door when you get to your dorm room. It’s a comfortable feeling, though, walking through the campus. This place has become a second home to you in its own way.

You glimpse Soobin on your way to the hostels but barely have enough energy to engage him in conversation. In any case he was busy play-fighting with a friend of his; Soobin was tearing down the corridor, the other boy hot on his heels and aiming a water gun at him, laughing wildly. You recognized Beomgyu from your Business class, and Soobin had been ranting to you over the phone about the long-haired boy since they’d met at a gaming convention over spring break. It seems as if your friend group would be expanding soon.

In spite of your exhaustion, you’d hate to have the task of unpacking looming over you tomorrow morning, so you sigh and get down to it. Your roommate, Yeonjun, isn’t back yet, so you can’t ask him for help. When you unzip the front pocket of your suitcase where you’d packed your toiletries, you find a note stuck onto a brand new pack of glitter pens. You recognize the neat scrawl as Kai’s handwriting. When on earth did he have the time to slip this into your suitcase?

You stare at the note incredulously, letting out a breathless laugh.

“I’ve been in and out of my uni’s admissions office for the past few days. Looks like I’ll be transferring! Surprise!

Insane, I know, but long story short… I’ll be over this summer. This paper is too tiny for details anyway.

Anyways, I thought it was about time I bought you some of these ;) I’ll probably steal them all back when I get there but oh well.

Enjoy! ~Kai.”

Huening Kai was crazy, you thought, grinning to yourself as you made a mental note to contact him first thing in the morning. You suppose there’s just about enough room for one more person at your lunch table.

⚝A/N: As always, I'd really love to hear your thoughts :) Thank you for reading❣

⚝taglist: @bluebearybeom

We lost the Summer

⚝fic type: Y/A (coming-of-age)

⚝genre/contains: huening kai x reader, fluff, angst, gn!reader, non-idol!au with a dash of friends2lovers

⚝warnings: mentions of food (sweets & ice-cream)

⚝word count: 3.5k, pt 2/2 (part 1)

⚝A/N: Yes, I’m finally releasing this two months later. It’s taken me so long to be happy with it 😭✌ but here we are! Dedicated to blonde hyuka who I’ve loved since forever💙

Spring break was fast approaching… and with it came that insufferable exam fever, punctuated by short bursts of the euphoric feeling of finally understanding the subject material. Much like the sun was now trying to peak its way down to you. Soft and tentative and brimming with the hope of a new season.

Your life in the city had taken an upturn. You started going out more often, and made good friends– some of whom you knew would be sticking around for the long run. It didn’t feel lonely anymore, and the uncertainty you had previously lugged around with every step had begun to unthaw like everything else as the seasons changed.

Keep reading

⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series

⚝genre/contains: choi yeonjun x gn!reader, angst, fluff ending, heartbreak, yeonjun was a rebound

⚝word count: 4k

⚝synopsis: yeonjun was simply supposed to be a rebound to help you cope with the breakup you'd just gone through. when your relationship with him blossomed into more than that, you abruptly cut him off in a bid to protect yourself from any more possible hurt. you ended up hurting him instead, and as time went on you realized what a huge mistake you'd made by letting yeonjun go. perhaps you'll be able to salvage what you two had at the party tonight...

You chased after him in the sea of swaying bodies, weaving through the partygoers as deftly as you could manage while still keeping his raven coloured hair within your line of sight. It’s a good thing he was tall.

Your struggle in trailing after the sullen boy was eased considerably when you followed him onto a corridor with a thinner crowd. He didn’t look behind him or acknowledge your presence in any way before opening a door to his left and disappearing into its well-lit interior.

“Yeonjun, wait!” you pleaded, planting your palms on the bathroom’s door to keep him from shutting you– and the rest of the party– out. Your voice broke out from the confines of your chest all rushed and high-pitched, as if you feared you’d never be able to say what you needed to if you didn’t act right then. “We need to talk. I need to-”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yeonjun mumbled. His voice was gravelly, probably from lack of use. You’d noticed him falling quiet as the night wore on. His tone was firm, defensive, and it was a clear indicator that he wanted you to leave him alone.

“But there is, Yeonjun,” you insisted, just as firm. He sighed and held the door open for you, avoiding any eye contact as you walked past him into the small space. If you had to have this conversation in a bathroom then you would. The bright fluorescent lights left spots in your vision for a few seconds since everywhere else outside this bathroom was dimly lit. Yeonjun closed the door before leaning against it, black bangs falling over his eyes that were trained on the tiled floor as he waited for you to speak.

—

You and Yeonjun had broken up a few months ago. It really hadn’t been your intention to get into a relationship with him in the first place, heart still sore and mending from what your ex, Heesung, had put you through. But Yeonjun was like a treat that one stowed at the top shelf of their pantry for ‘emergencies’; vowing that they would take ‘just one more bite’ and they’d have had their fill... inevitably losing that war before they even realised it. You kept promising yourself that every date would be the last, and by the sixth one he had officially asked you to be his and you’d selfishly agreed. What you had meant to keep as a reliable contact for Saturday walks in the park had evolved into late night drives with a boy who held stars in his eyes.

You met Yeonjun at a dance studio a friend had been nagging you to check out. The place had a great reputation and you soon learned that Yeonjun spent a lot of his free time there. He was exemplary at dancing, much like anything else he really set his mind to. Like winning you over, for example. Something in his vibe was simply magnetic; he wormed his way into your heart quicker than you’d have thought possible. You knew what drew you to him… his infectious laughter that made his chest heave with the power of it, his attention to detail and how he expressed gratitude for even the tiniest of favours. Yeonjun never took anything for granted. He could also read you like an open book– always a step or two ahead of you in anticipating your needs and wants, and fulfilling them the best he could. Yeonjun was very convincing in his methods of winning you over, and before you knew it he’d reeled you in completely.

You’d let the affair get to far, both emotionally and physically, and when you eventually let him go you could see how heartbroken he was. It was insensitive of you, but the need to protect your recuperating heart had overpowered your empathy– at least at the time. The detachment was somewhat justified and easier to deal with when he’d seemingly moved on before you even had the chance to come to terms with everything. In any case, Yeonjun wasn’t one to dwell on things, especially outwardly. Once you’d ended things, he hadn’t stopped you to ask what had caused you to break him in the way that you did. He simply… moved on. You suppose it was selfish of you to want him to have lurked around for a while after the break-up, brooding over the broken pieces like you had with Heesung.

He didn’t even ask for his stuff back– the hoodies he’d left over at your place or the gifts he’d given you. Yeonjun wasn’t petty, and it sparked a newfound respect within you– because Heesung had been his polar opposite during your break up with the former. But without Yeonjun your days felt so long; without his cute texts to get you through your day the hours dragged on. It made you acutely aware of how Yeonjun had become your emotional support in so many ways. From his random check-ins to the silly memes he sent you… your life felt oddly empty in Yeonjun’s absence. It had taken some time to wean yourself off waiting for the chime of your phone every day at around lunch, which was when he usually spammed your line and reminded you to get something to eat.

The last time you’d seen Yeonjun was weeks ago. You’d ended up in the same restaurant late on a Thursday evening and you tried your best to ignore the forlorn gazes he not-so-subtly shot you every now and then as you directed your attention to the guy sitting across from you. He was a co-worker who’d been courting you for months and although you had no real interest in him, you decided to accept his dinner invitation with the hopes of getting Yeonjun off your mind. However, even while you weathered through the ups and downs of your own life, your nonchalance and indifference towards your breakup with Yeonjun was starting to wear off. Your true feelings within had inexorably begun to show themselves.

The nagging of your ever-persistent subconscious had caused that dam of emotions to break tonight.

He looked well, laughing with his friends and moving to the music as the party kicked up. He’d grown his hair out a little, black strands now brushing low on his neck. He was dressed as casually as everyone else, yet something about Yeonjun’s frame and stance made clothes sit on him elegantly.

When you’d first arrived, you caught sight of him as you and your friends milled through the throng of dancing bodies, stopping every now and then to greet someone you knew. Yeonjun’s smile had dropped once he turned around and saw you, the pain in his eyes evident as he tried to muster a smile back onto his face for the benefit of his own cheerful clique.

Nevertheless, he hadn’t spared you a glance as he breezed past your group of friends with his own gang. You knew this was all your doing, so why did it hurt you so much? Yeonjun was just supposed to be a rebound. A rebound that got out of hand, and you had ended things while you were at his place– in his bed, wearing his t-shirt. You still remember that Saturday as if it was yesterday. You’d had a fight the previous night, but he still convinced you to stay over and bargained that you two would solve your problems in the morning. In any case, it was late, and getting a taxi at that hour would be difficult. When you woke up your fight or flight instinct had kicked in when Yeonjun raised his voice a little as the two of you tried making amends. You were so scared that things would escalate the way they had with your ex, who would get so mad and say things he didn’t mean. He would then shut you out completely and for days it would feel like you weren’t in a relationship at all. That’s why you’d ended things with Yeonjun then and there; running away had always been your defence mechanism– albeit a shitty one.

After everything that happened with Heesung you had shied away from love, running away any time it knocked at your door. Your walls were high but Yeonjun had swooped in and made a hole in your defence, planting a seed of genuine care and affection that– through your haze of mistrust– you could only view as a weed in the carefully cultivated garden of your heart.

You’d uprooted him, and only then in his absence did you realise what you’d just given away.

What you didn’t know was how much Yeonjun was suffering without you; how much he’d cried after your fall-out. He’d taken your break up as a sign that you didn’t find your relationship with him valuable– that there was nothing to fight for between you two. That thought had spiked bitterness in Yeonjun, although it was largely clouded by the love he was starting to have for you that only grew bigger in your time apart. Perhaps absence did make the heart grow fonder. Yeonjun stopped frequenting the places you two would go together, trying to exterminate the sick hope in his heart that you would somehow bump into each other. He hated how cold his nights were without you. When you would come over you’d always offer to make dinner for the both of you as long as he was on dish duty. His apartment felt draughty without the calm and warmth your soft, sleepy laughter brought. The colours of his walls seemed washed out and Yeonjun’s general outlook on life had turned bleak. It had taken him forever to snap out of that mentally and find joy in what he liked to do once more.

His friends chastised him that it was foolish to have been so trusting so quickly, but something about you had drawn him in and taken a hold of him. You were diligent and quick witted, always eager to learn and open-minded in your ways of solving problems. Yeonjun had taken note of how weary you were heading into your relationship with him, how tentative you were in reaching out to him. He’d slowly unravelled the story of what had happened to you in your last relationship and did everything he could to make you more comfortable around him. A few weeks in and he had you smiling more, laughing more and sleeping better. He didn’t want any repayment for it, other than your time and affection… and when you had taken that away he’d been distraught. He’d never expected the excuse you had given him in the flurry of your departure from his life– that all Yeonjun had been to you was a rebound. All that time, all those kisses, all you two had shared was intended to be nothing but a temporary fix to your broken heart.

But he wasn’t going to give up on love as a concept just because of one bad relationship. Yeonjun patched himself up and spent all that love on his friends, his family, and most importantly himself. Seeing you tonight stung, sure, but he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that.

—

The booming music had felt invigorating at first, considering this was the first party you’d attended in a long while. But now, in the cramped bathroom face-to-face with the boy whose heart you’d broken, the thumping of the bass was steadily giving you a headache. It was turning into the kind of evening where you’d usually crave Yeonjun’s company; his patient care soothed every headache and his attentive ears listened to every rant. If you wanted any hope of having another evening cuddled up on the couch with him then you’d need to right your wrongs in the here and now.

But the expression on Yeonjun’s face foreshadowed a difficult task on your part.

“I know there’s absolutely nothing I could say to ease the pain I caused…” you started off, chancing that his features would morph into a look less judgemental. “And I can’t fix the mistake I made but-”

“Mistake?” Yeonjun asked incredulously. He fought back the hope that was blooming within him; had you really changed your mind? Yeonjun internally scolded himself for being so ready to forgive you. He wouldn’t give into you so easily in case you broke him once more.

His gaze turned icier, emotions frozen beneath the dark gloom of his irises. “C’mon, think of something more original.”

“Well, I just want to tell you that I’m so sorry,” you said, taken aback by his cold retort. You fought the tears springing in your eyes. “I didn’t deserve you from the start, and yet you overlooked that and loved me anyways.”

You were shaking with how much you were restraining yourself from crying. “Yeonjun– I was terrified. And because of that I ruined it.”

Yeonjun just watched you, eyes thawing and softening a fraction with a new emotion you couldn’t quite place. He said your name quietly, patiently– as he always did, drawing out the syllables in a manner you’d always loved.

“What were you so terrified of?” His eyes bore into your own imploringly.

“Of the way you loved me,” you explained, frustrated by your situation and the tears that had started running down your face. “Yeonjun, you– you showed me what love could really feel like. After what I went through with my ex I couldn’t seem to let anyone in and you somehow fought your way through all my inhibitions.”

“You should’ve just communicated from the start.” He huffed exasperatedly, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross them over his torso.

“I know, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled, wiping your watery eyes on the back of your sleeve. “I’m trying to learn… how to not run away.”

He didn’t say anything for a long while, and you resigned yourself to the fact that all this was too little, too late. The silence grew heavy– loud, almost– as you stared at each other. The short distance between you two felt broader when Yeonjun’s eyes became distant for a while in thought. He spoke just as you were looking for something else to say.

“So what are you trying to get at with all this? Do you want me to take you back?” His tone was steady, unlike your shaky one as you stuttered and looked down at the floor. “You caused me so much pain.”

“I know, Yeonjun,” you said, missing the way a few teardrops slipped past Yeonjun’s eyes as you weren’t looking at him anymore. “And I promise I won’t hurt you again.”

Yeonjun let out a mirthless laugh and leaned down slightly so you were at eye level. He still kept his distance. “You’re right, you won’t.”

Your heart sank at his words. The harsh, assertive tone was so uncharacteristic of him. Had he perhaps found someone else? He did deserve someone better, but knowing Yeonjun you didn’t think he’d get into another relationship this quickly.

“Are you… seeing someone?” You choked out, a lump forming in your throat. Yeonjun considered your question for a moment before shifting from his position against the door and lessening the space between you two.

“Nope. I’m not ready for that yet. Wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle of heartbreak just to feel something,” he said quietly. Your mouth fell agape at the dig. His words cut deeper than a knife, tearing right through you and leaving you breathless with how heartless he sounded. Had you really turned him into this?

“I– yes, of course. I understand,” you said as steadily as you could manage, before nodding and excusing yourself. Yeonjun slid down against the door once you had disappeared back into the party, hiding his head in his hands as he sat with his knees pressed to his chest on the floor.

Unbeknownst to you, Yeonjun was simply putting up a front to prevent you from hurting him again. In the time you’d been apart he’d begun to put up his own defences… somehow knowing that a time would come when he’d have to face you again. You couldn’t avoid each other forever. A part of him had been waiting for this moment, replaying its possible pathways in his head while he cooked or showered or took a walk. He wanted you to feel that he’d totally let go of everything you two had, just like you did.

Now that this confrontation had happened, Yeonjun wondered if proving a point had been worth it. Your sorrowful face just now was a stark contrast to your controlled calm on that fateful Saturday. Sometimes hurt, and the fear of it, turned people into who they weren’t– and Yeonjun had just made the same mistake you had months ago. His heart ached with remorse; he’d been too harsh. The way you had followed him and apologized had caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared to have that conversation and he’d reacted badly.

Yeonjun cursed at himself and got up on his feet, determined to find you and put an end to this back and forth.

—

You didn’t bother looking for your friends again after you talked to Yeonjun. Neither did you try find a way to get home on your own. You just moved around the party people watching, more or less on autopilot. Yeonjun’s cold words and expressionless face burned behind your eyelids, haunting you every time you closed your eyes.

A merry group of people were trying to rope you into a game of beer pong when someone suddenly hurtled into you. You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings, and for that reason you barely had time to react when a boy came crashing into you from your side. You were knocked into the beer pong table before hitting the ground. Your reflexes saved you from landing square on your face, because your arms flew out to catch your fall. The guy who’d crashed into you apologized profusely as he tried helping you up to your feet. His friends who’d been chasing him around watched on guiltily when you winced, quickly adjusting your stance so your left foot was carrying more weight than your right. The stares from everyone around you was starting to get on your nerves, and coupled with the events of the night you were on the verge of crying again.

The boys tried leading you to a nearby couch but you declined their help and limped away from the scene as quickly as you could; you really just wanted to go home now. You had almost made it out when you nearly tripped on a rug near the landing. You’d have tumbled to the floor for the second time that night if someone hadn’t steadied you from behind.

You were going to turn around and thank your good Samaritan, if the close proximity hadn’t let you get a whiff of Yeonjun’s distinctive cologne. You froze in place, the comfort you instinctively drew from that scent had you finally breaking down completely.

Yeonjun wrapped his arms around your middle and drew you close, shushing you. “It’s okay, we’re okay, I’m here…”

“My ankle,” you managed to spit out through your tears. He hummed in acknowledgement before picking you up bridal style and walked outside, towards his car.

“Geez, what happened?” His voice was laced with so much concern as he fumbled with his pockets for his car keys.

“Someone barrelled into me by accident,” you muttered, calming yourself down by tucking your face into the crook of his neck.

“You’ll need some ice on that foot,” Yeonjun said, more to himself than to you. “I could stop somewhere and get some.”

“But Yeonjun,” you started, trying to deflect the attention. Was he actually planning on ditching the people he’d arrived with to take you home? “Your friends…”

“They’ll find their way home, it’s cool.” He set you down in the passenger’s seat before circling round to the driver’s seat. Once he got in fetched you some tissues from the back seat as you explained what happened.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” he asked quietly, reaching over to brush a few hairs away from your face. Your skin warmed up slightly at the places his fingertips brushed against.

You shook your head and laid back against the headrest, exhausted. “I just want to go home, Jjunie.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” he whispered, trying to ignore the flip his stomach did at your use of the nickname. “We’ll get you home and we can order some takeout if you’re still hungry. But first, let me check out that ankle.”

He helped you hoist your leg onto his lap, mindful not to bump it against the gear lever. The delicate way he cradled your foot as he reached for the glove compartment had any animosity you had left in you towards him dissipate. He quietly hummed a tune you didn’t recognise as he grabbed the first aid kit and took out some brand of muscle relief spray, painting your ankle in the cold liquid before temporarily wrapping it with a bandage.

Yeonjun worked in silence as you watched him patch you up. In the quiet peace of his car it felt like nothing between you two had changed– like this was just any other day when you’d have to give each other first aid after over-exerting yourselves during dance practice.

“You’re staring,” he sighed after some time, and you were about to apologise before you caught the soft smirk playing on his lips. “Am I that gorgeous, hmm?”

You laughed at him, groaning at his playful banter. “Please, spare me, Choi Yeonjun.”

He laughed with you, and you could feel the tension leaving your body. Yeonjun looked happier now than he had all night, that light he carried within shining in his eyes once more.

“I missed you,” you admitted.

“Missed you, too, runaway,” he said back with a pout. His eyes turned serious for a moment, regarding you with such profound affection, before he winked and returned his attention to his task.

“Oh no, is that my name now?” you giggled.

“Might be…” he said, earnestly. “If you stick around.”

Yeonjun’s eyes adopted a shimmering quality when he let his vulnerability seep through. It was one of your weaknesses, one of the ways he’d unknowingly won you over. His eyes sparkled with a glittering hope as he waited for your answer.

“I will.” You held out your pinkie finger and he chuckled as he linked it with his own. “This time, I will.”

“No more running away…” he whispered. The two of you had somehow gotten so close mid-conversation and you could now make out the shadow of his eyelashes against his cheeks from the party’s lights seeping through the car windows.

“No more running away, I promise,” you confirmed in a hushed tone. “I want to stay.”

“Good,” he said happily, swooping in to nuzzle his nose into your cheek. You were giggling like little kids at the action, big smiles plastered on both of your faces.

“You know… you have to seal that promise,” he chanced.

“How will I do that?” you asked, laughing at the bashful pink tint on his cheeks. “We already pinkie swore, what’s left?”

Yeonjun didn’t answer you verbally, he merely pouted his lips in your direction, stifling back a laugh as you burst out with one of your own. Nevertheless, you happily obliged once your short fit of giggles had subsided, cupping his face in your palms.

You softly pressed your lips to his, both of you sighing at the feeling you had missed so dearly. Yeonjun’s plush lips pillowed yours oh-so lovingly, his hands sneaking up your sides to wrap across your back. The kiss was slow, neither of you in much of a hurry since you had the rest of the night ahead of you to keep at this deliriously sweet pace. The two of you kept going for what felt like forever, the precious give and take of such a delicate exchange too glorious to give up. You only pulled away because the position you two were in was getting uncomfortable. You both chuckled at how you’d ignored that fact for so long, too caught up in your kiss.

“No more tears, for the both of us.” you said breathlessly.

“Agreed,” Yeonjun whispered against your lips, stealing a final kiss before he pulled away with a grin and started the car.

⚝A/N: this had so much ANGST gdhjvjfkg. still, i found this oddly theraputic and really enjoyed breaking the song down. thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed these two being dumb haha. if so, i'd love to hear your thoughts, so don't be shy to send an ask or rant in the tags :D

⚝TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks

⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series

⚝genre/contains: nobility!au, duchess!reader x viscount!taehyun, angst, fluff ending, established relationship, allusions to cheating

⚝word count: 3k

⚝warnings: arranged marriage is discussed, character death (not taehyun or reader), depictions of parental neglect.

⚝synopsis: the blazing love that you and taehyun nurtured in the quiet space of your library meets an unexpected dilemma when he finds out you are engaged to someone else. your relationship with him was already the talk of the town considering taehyun's of a much lower social rank than you. he had his insecurities, but never expected such a betrayal. should he have expected it?

You burst into the library, huffing as you moved through the aisles and made a beeline for Taehyun’s work desk. It was turning out to be a hot day, and the afternoon light filtered through the translucent dome ceiling, bathing the large space in an orange-tinted light. Taehyun looked up from the books strewn across his desk as you approached him, big eyes glimmering as they always did when graced by the sight of you. A welcoming smile stretched across his lips as he stood to greet you; no matter how long you two were together, Taehyun secretly doubted he’d ever get over the giddiness of seeing you.

He had grown used to your fuming form over the past few weeks following the demise of your father. It wasn’t sadness; you didn’t mourn your father for very long– the two of you barely had a real connection. This moodiness had to do with the domino effects of his passing.

Neither of your parents had a sliver of parental care in their body, not a single bone if genuine affection for their own children. You and your siblings were little more than property to them– meant to be paraded as trophies when they needed to impress their peers, and then disregarded once more as soon as you got home. Since you were the first born child in your family, your mother had been pressuring you to become more serious about your impending ascension to a duchess. It was something you’d always detest… being the automatic inheritor of a role you did not want, simply because you were born first.

Your escapes to your library had become more frequent; after every meeting with your mother, you’d come seek solace in your favourite place– and in your favourite person. This library, with its high ceiling and large windows, brought so much light into your life– both literally and metaphorically. Its warm stone walls were your security, and the books within strongly reflected your heart’s desires, opinions and way of thinking. You often fought the temptation to simply lock yourself up in here for days on end, with no one but Taehyun and your handmaiden to know where you had escaped to. The urge was especially at the forefront of your mind on days like this, when your mother’s stern insistency got under your skin and you felt that you were a mere string puppet while other people controlled your life.

Taehyun didn’t pry today, but judging by your behaviour he figured your mother was trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to.

He guided you towards the bay window behind his desk, the soft strands of his hair tickling your temple as he leaned down to plant a lingering kiss on your cheek. The two of you loved sitting there during your down time. When Taehyun wasn’t working, and you weren’t swamped with your tutoring and duties, the two of you spent hours on end seated at that bay window together. It provided such a clear view of your estate– it’s sprawling fields and the trees that lined the eastern perimeter, acting as a wind breaker to shield your abode from the treacherous winds that sometimes swept over your region.

Taehyun regarded you for a moment before speaking, leaning against the curved wall framing the window as he tried to gauge what the crease of your brow indicated. He was always mindful of how he approached these types of discussions, weighing his potential approaches. It never failed to amaze you how thoughtful and perceptive he could be, particularly now when you were being bogged down by so much pressure.

“Penny for your thoughts, my dear?” he finally asked, sitting beside you and directing your attention towards him. The two of you would both sit with your backs pressed to the walls behind you, and have your legs meeting at the centre of the seat, pressed against each other from the knee downwards. This way, you could hide a sketchbook in your lap and draw your lover without him noticing. Unfortunately for you, Taehyun’s eyes were far too attentive to miss that and you were never very subtle to begin with, but it was a fun game all the same.

It took a moment for you to meet his gaze, to be present in this moment with him rather than worrying about your future. Your mother’s latest ‘suggestion’ had been her most outrageous one yet. It was only a matter of time before the whole ordeal blew up in your face if you didn’t find the will to tell Taehyun about it soon.

For now, you groaned and slumped into his side. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“That’s alright,” he said easily, gently pulling you to him and wrapping a hand around your form. You curled into him, body now on top of his. You sighed in content as he soothingly ran his hand up and down your arm. “What would you rather?”

“This is enough for now,” you assured him, making yourself comfortable.

This is how life always was with Taehyun. The warmth and consideration your lover held for you overwhelmed you at times. It wrapped around you, so that no matter the season, you were constantly blanketed in its radiant grace.

Taehyun was the son of a viscount who your father, the duke, had a great rapport with. Once Taehyun had completed his schooling, your father convinced him to help your family manage your library. Taehyun was neat, precise and simply meticulous in his work. As you spent most of your time in the vast library, and always had since you were a child, you and Taehyun became fast friends. Your friendship bloomed into more after a nearly a year of playing hide and seek with your feelings for each other. And now– another two years later, the two of you had a solid relationship.

The affair was already scandalous; because the title of a viscount was lower in rank than a duke or duchess, marrying Taehyun would diminish your own social standing. You found yourself caring less and less about that fact every day you spent curled up in your library together, hidden from the world and your impending responsibilities as a duchess. When you were with Taehyun, it was simply you and him– nothing else mattered, no one could access either of you in the sanctuary of that library. You’d purposely made sure no one but your handmaiden accessed the library during your hours there with Taehyun. Your estate had a handful of libraries, and your parents had granted you this one for your personal use. It was named after you, and you often fantasized about a time in your life when you’d be able to switch your last name on the large placard for Taehyun’s.

The two of you were silent for a while, simply enjoying how comfortable that action was in itself. You tried focusing on Taehyun’s ever-steady breathing, on the tune he was absent-mindedly strumming onto your arms with his fingers… but as fate would have it, your worries started to crop up in the corners of your mind, disrupting the calm Taehyun had induced on you.

“Read to me, please,” you mumbled, enjoying the sun outside the window behind you that was warming your back. Taehyun’s voice would be a good distraction to the ones in your head (that sounded a lot like your mother). He chuckled at how your cheek was mushed against his chest, and the way you whined in protest when he got up to fulfill your request. Although it took a while for him to learn how to initiate physical contact, Taehyun loved when your body so naturally gravitated towards his. It made him feel needed.

The book he chose was embroidered with reeds harvested from the stream nearby, strands dyed a deep, regal blue. Its edges were bound and plaited so intricately one would not have to read its contents to regard the book as art. Taehyun opened it to where his bookmark lay and began to read.

Taehyun’s soft voice breezed through most of your tension, but you were only half listening– distracted by the anxiousness gnawing at your insides. There was something you needed to tell him, but you kept procrastinating having that conversation.

You were engaged.

When you’d met Taehyun, the process of your engagement was already underway. However– in a rare bout of graciousness– your parents had let you delay its announcement for another year or two. You were still young, and had a few years left before people started to question the lack of a ring on your finger. You didn’t particularly mind your fiancé. He was amiable, which worked for you. And– as your mother kept reminding you– he came from an incredibly wealthy family, which worked for your reputation.

But you did not love him. You’d never been in love, but you had half a mind to know when you weren’t. Your parents tried convincing you that love came with time, but if their relationship was anything to go by… you were better off alone.

Taehyun had been a godsend. At first, his cordialness seemed cold; always polite but never making the first move. You later realized that this was how your lover expressed shyness. Since the both of you opened up about your feelings, Taehyun had been nothing but loving– always greeting you with a new book recommendation you already knew you’d love, and arranging platters of fruit for you by himself when you woke up early to attend to your commitments.

He more or less lived at your house– what with all the work he had– and for that reason, although he’d never formally courted you, most of your employees knew of your relationship. You’d managed to keep it on a need-to-know basis with your parents, who approved of Taehyun, sure, but did not want such a union between you two to ruin their reputation. Gossip would one day be the end of your duchy, you were sure of it.

Ignoring the dilemma didn’t exist– and instead lazing about with your lover like this– was far less intense.

Your thoughts wandered back to the present when Taehyun began to read a familiar poem. Your ears perked up at that, because it was one of your favorites. You noticed he’d altered the words a little to better fit his emotions; Taehyun loved doing that with poems he liked.

“A rendition of a poem by Abel Tesfaye,” he said, plopping the book down softly. He knew that was your favourite poet, and smiled at the slight lift in your mood once he’d finished.

“Thank you,” you giggled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “When did you work on that one?”

“Yesterday,” he shrugged, laughing softly. “While you dozed off.”

“I did not,” you protested, stifling your laughs as you got off him and fixed him with a faux glare.

Taehyun loved poking fun at your inability to stay up late. You’d been with him in the library late last night, having convinced your handmaiden to arrange dinner there for the two of you. As you sat at your bay window you ended up falling asleep to the sound of pen scratching against paper and Taehyun’s soft humming as he wrote away.

“Ah, my mistake. You must have simply been resting your eyes,” he teased.

Once your laughter had subsided, Taehyun shifted his position so that he was sitting upright beside you. “Care to tell me what’s on your mind now, my dear?”

“Oh, you know…” you stalled, tracing the patterns of your dress. “Just thinking about our future.”

“What about it?” he asked. “Has your mother proposed that we wed in a barn?”

“It’s not that…” you giggled nervously. “If we get married-”

“When,” he corrected softly with a chuckle.

“Okay, when,” you conceded, and the dread that filled your eyes somehow went unnoticed by him. “When we get married, we’ll obviously hold the wedding in here.”

“I’d like that as well,” he grinned, eyes big and adoring. “In the place where our love has grown to unimaginable heights.”

“Oh, Tyun...” you said, eyes welling with tears– and not the good kind. It was high time you told him what had been bothering you these past few weeks. “I- Yes I’d love to, but…”

His beaming smile faltered at the ‘but’.

“What’s the matter…? Is it about courtship? I’ll be formally asking your mother for your hand, don’t you worry about that.”

He knew how your parents felt about your relationship with him. They had nothing against Taehyun, but his title was far too low for them to take pride in. It was all about pride with them. Your mother couldn’t outright oppose it, as there was nothing illegal or inherently wrong about the union, but she made… comments.

“No, no,” you said shakily, turning away from him and facing the window to give you courage. He stood up, concern clouding his features as he put a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“Actually, Taehyun, the thing is…” you started nervously. “I’m engaged.”

His face fell, the colour draining from it almost instantly. He stumbled backwards, disbelief evident on his features.

“Enga- what? But how?” He whispered. His usually strong and steady voice was faint.

You fumbled over your words, not daring to face your lover, who’s chest rose and fell rapidly with the impact of the confession. “My parents- They had this all arranged… I tried delaying it and I still can, b-but yes… my mother’s been processing my engagement.”

“What do you mean you’re engaged?” Taehyun shouted, shaking with the force of it. He rarely shouted and it made you recoil.

“Taehyun, listen I-”

“All this time, you’ve belonged to someone else?” He asked, breathless from the exertion of shouting. This was not the news he was expecting, so close to the day he was planning on formally proposing to you. He’d made so many plans, and his dream of being yours for the rest of his days was crumbling right before his eyes.

“I still have time to change this, don’t you see?” You tried reasoning, turning to face him. “Taehyun, I’ve been under so much pressure trying to fight this alone.”

The auburn-haired boy scoffed and turned away from you. “But why didn’t you say anything? Why play with me like this?”

You reached out for him but he moved away, his eyes a medley of anger and anguish.

“I’m not playing with you, Taehyun. I didn’t mention it because it’s not yet official. I can fix this, marry you instead,” you said, walking up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged it off, walking to his desk and busying himself with the books laying there to give himself something to do.

“Taehyun, you know I love you,” you said firmly, placing your hand on his back.

“I have no doubt about that, my dear,” he sighed and turned around, finally letting your reasoning seep through his initial shock. It was a silly little thought… to think you would love anyone but him. Yet his doubts still lingered. “It’s just that…”

“What is it?” you asked, frowning. If he believed you and understood then what was the problem?

“Your fiancé, he is of a higher ranking than I, correct?”

“I- well, yes,” you said, taken aback by his question. “But Taehyun, it doesn’t matter. Being a viscountess isn’t half bad, you know. It’ll mean less work. My younger sister can be duchess instead, heaven knows she’d absolutely love that.”

You tried to make a joke of it, as you often did when being weighed down by serious situations. Taehyun found the habit endearing. He turned to face you once more, finding himself laughing as he cupped your face in his hands.

“I suppose I don’t want to lose my spot in your heart,” he said dejectedly. “Simply because of my title…”

“You know I couldn’t care less about those stupid rules,” you added, dismissing his worries with a wave of your hand. “The hard part is over, I hadn’t figured out how I was going to tell you. Now that you know we can work on this together.”

He called you by your full name, a teasing habit he’d adopted during his love confessions that he presented through the poems and songs he wrote. “I’m with you every step of the way.”

Taehyun unexpectedly leaned in then, placing a chaste kiss to your lips. He usually would draw out your anticipation, staring deep into your eyes and letting your breathes mingle before he finally sealed the gap. His lips pressed against yours in a manner that indicated his fear of losing you. Yours, in turn, sealed his with reassurance.

“I won’t let my mother separate us,” you said determinedly once the two of you had broken apart.

“How about…” he said thoughtfully. “My dear, why don’t you take up your rightful place as duchess. That way, you can make that decision and every other one for yourself.”

Taehyun was tired of seeing you being pulled this way and that based on other people’s whims. It was time you took control of your own life… from the hands of people who had no regard for it.

“I’ll be right by your side,” he promised. “Take back your life. You’d be surprised to know how many people would be on your side.”

Having been up and down these halls for a while, Taehyun knew your estate’s gossip better than you ever would; he was a confidant to most, and knew that a lot of people here would be happier if someone like you took over its management.

“You’ve always had the best ideas,” you smiled, reconsidering your view of what your life as a duchess could hold if the tables were turned and you found a way to get out of being your mother’s puppet.

“Did you ever doubt that?” he teased, abruptly hooking his arms under yours and spinning you around. You squealed in laughter and the sound made his heart soar.

For as long as you’d have him, Taehyun vowed to himself that he’d keep you close and out of harm’s way. The two of you could spend forever like this; two sides of one coin… Or better, to sides of the same page in a book that one treasures for years to come.

⚝A/N: This has taken forever to post I know dgchfjdkd😫 Thank you for your patience guys ❣ I worked really hard to put this out and I hope you enjoy it xx lots of love as always! Remember to share your thoughts with me, I'm always super stoked to hear them :)

⚝TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yaevsi [prev. yizki] @bangchansbae @woncheecks

TXT tucking you in before leaving for a night schedule

Fluff, no warnings!

Please let me know which one is your favourite!

☆ gender neutral reader

Soobin

It takes Soobin longer than he would care to admit to leave the couch, pressing one last kiss to your face before pulling away - no wait, just one more - before untangling his arms from around you and getting to his feet. He glances back at you on his way to get his jacket and you look so lonely there by yourself now, you pout at each other. There’s just one more thing he has to do before he can put on his shoes and go. You think he’s coming back for another kiss while he puts on his jacket, but when he raises it, it comes down and over you. He tucks it around your shoulders and you slip your arms through the sleeves, wearing it back to front. It’s big enough on you to act as a blanket, bonus, it smells like him. He smiles down at you and strokes your hair, and now he really has to go because he’s getting a call from his driver who is downstairs waiting.

Yeonjun

You exit the bathroom, all warm from your shower, into your bedroom and notice something strange. Your pillowcase was always white, and now it’s black. Your attention shifts to your boyfriend who stands at the end of your bed, smiling at you. He’ll tuck you in, he says. You climb into bed, eyeing the pillow again. Wasn’t it white? It’s his shirt, Yeonjun tells you, so you can fall asleep imagining it’s his chest your head is laying on. His eyes have that sparkle, his grin wide, the way he always looks when he does something cheesy like this, as he pulls the covers up around you. You turn to kiss him, but he’s leaning over to your nightstand, the tv suddenly turning on with your favourite movie ready to play on the screen.

Beomgyu

He pulls his arm out from under you ever so carefully, retreating from the bed so slowly it would look as if he was moving in slow motion; the sheets sound so loud to him when he’s trying to be quiet. Ten minutes ago you were chatting together, until he was talking and getting no reply; you were out like a light. He had told you that you didn’t have to stay awake and keep him company until his schedule, but you had insisted on spending as much time with him as you could get. Now he has to leave, but you’re laying on top of the duvet and he won’t be here to keep you warm and he doesn’t want you to get cold and wake up. He tiptoes out of the room and dashes to the cupboard, retrieves the fluffiest blanket of all and comes quietly back to spread it gently over you. You look so peaceful and adorable that he wants to kiss your cheek goodbye but he won’t risk it, backing towards the door and, with one final look, turns out the light. He can’t wait to come home.

Taehyun

You always have a later dinner on the nights Taehyun has a schedule. He’s always said you don’t have to wait and eat when he does, but you insist on having dinner with him. When you’re done eating, you sit and chat for a while, until it’s time for him to head off to work. He offers to help you tidy up the dishes, but you tell him that you’re going to put them away and head to bed - you usually go to bed early on the nights Taehyun works because you tend to wake up when he comes home very late. Saying goodbye, he slips his shoes on at the door and then he’s gone. You busy yourself with the plates, cleaning and drying, so much quicker a job with only dishes for two, and just when you’ve closed them inside the cupboard, you hear the door unlocking again. You turn with a smile, asking what he’s forgotten. This, he says, and scoops you up in his arms with a laugh, your arms winding around his neck in surprise, and carries you towards the bedroom. With one hand he pulls the covers back, then slides you gently into bed. His eyes are warm as ever as he tucks you in, resting his forehead against yours before kissing you. He really has to go now, he tells you, but he’ll be back to perform his big spoon duties in a few hours.

Huening Kai

He starts out by bringing just one of the plushies from his bed, placing it beside you under the covers. But before he knows it, whether because he wants to drag this out and not leave yet or because of the way you smile and snuggle the toy against your face, he makes another trip and comes back with five more in his arms. He strategically places them - one on either side of your middle, one on either side of your legs, and one on the end of the bed, “standing guard”, he explains.

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

Boyfriend Huening Kai soft thoughts

Totally not fuelled by me sitting in my bed surrounded by plushies and thinking about having a plushie play date with Hyuka, I'm very adult

☆ gender neutral reader

Boyfriend Huening who remembers every single one of your plushie's names, what they mean to you and when you need which one.

When he comes home to find you on the couch, so upset you don't even notice him enter the apartment, he heads straight to your room and comes back with an armful of stuffed animals, a mixture of yours and his. He organises them around you so they sit beside you on the couch, the ones that mean the most and the ones that have been with you the longest right at your side; the ones belonging to him are your favourites from his collection, the ones you always beg to babysit while he is away. You finally look up at him and though you've clearly been crying, there's a light in your eyes just for him, seeing what he's done.

He sits on the floor at your feet with a gentle smile before pulling something out of his pocket. It's the brush that you reserve only for sprucing up your fluffy friends. Kai knows you so well, knows that the act of brushing your plushies is soothing and relaxing for you, and you almost feel better just by this act of love towards you. As you brush each one by one, Kai tells you what the plushie loves the best about you. That one loves the way you still laugh during movies even if you've seen it hundred times. That one admires that you're such a hard worker. This one? This one needed a while to pick just one favourite thing about you, do you want to know what it is? It's your big heart.

By the end of the task, you feel so much lighter than before, much better. You pull Huening up onto the couch with you and sink into his arms. He bestows a kiss to the side of your head and tells you he loves you the most.

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

Thinking about watching a scary movie with TXT

☆ gender neutral reader

Half of them have to be talked into it, in the end they agree because they don't want to leave the room and let Kai choose the film - probably not the best idea since he's the most nonchalant person in the group.

Soobin watches most of the movie through his fingers, diving into your shoulder when there's a big jump scare, your ear is likely to be ringing for the rest of the night from his loud yelps. He keeps begging if at least one light in the room can be turned back on, but Kai insists movie nights are better in the dark.

Yeonjun keeps himself somewhat distracted with snacks, getting startled every now and then and being laughed at by Beomgyu. Every now and then he whines about the choice of movie and swears the maknae is never being the movie decider again.

Taehyun is trying to act tough, but his eyes are a little wider than usual as the movie goes on, shaking his head anxiously every time a character goes into a dark room or the music turns ominous, the cushion that was under his arm before it started now being hugged fretfully between his arms and chest. You thought you saw him burry his face behind it once or twice.

Beomgyu is the best person to watch this kind of movie with, his jokes making it easier to stomach the scary scenes. He only gets scared at the climax, and when Taehyun purposely spooks him, which has everyone laughing. He's quiet for a while after that before returning to his comedic role.

Huening Kai is the most focused on the movie, laughing along with everyone but really enjoying the movie. He know he'll probably have to walk Soobin or Yeonjun to the bathroom later, the older boys too scared to walk through the dorm alone at night after this kind of film, but he doesn't mind.

When he thought he'd moved on (ex-boyfriend!txt)

Warnings: not really gender neutral

note: when I started this I wondered if it was appropriate, please let me know if there is any problem. sad hours open, I guess.

Soobin

The cafe was quiet, just the way he liked it. This was your meeting place; even if the place was closed, the two of you would meet here. He got here early, the table in the corner waiting for him as always. The owner had smiled at him and said hello, recognising him as a long-time customer.

As he pulls his earphones from his pocket and begins to detangle them, he unconsciously bounces his leg, an old habit. Soobin's thoughts are distracted, the new song he wants to show you by his favourite band occupying his mind. He's sure you'll like it - he's slowly converted you to a fan over the years.

Once the wires of the earphones are all straightened out, and he plugs them into his phone. The ear with a green sharpie heart is his side, the one with the blue is yours, a little faded from so many bus rides and time spent in bed sharing music together.

The bell on the door grabs his attention, and he looks up - and remembers. It wasn't you who he was meeting. This isn't your meeting place anymore. He feels guilty about being excited, more guilty about forgetting that he's supposedly moved on. Still, he grins painfully convincingly as she takes the seat across from him, as if this was what he had been expecting all along. He tries to figure out how he could have forgotten that this is how things are now, nodding as she is talking, although he doesn’t hear a word.

Yeonjun

Yeonjun doesn't know what day it is, what time it is. All he knows is his phone is ringing, dragging him from his much needed sleep. With a long groan he rolls toward the edge of the bed, not even daring to open his eyes and expose them to the bright light of the sun he can now see from behind his eyelids. Which means he hasn't looked at the caller ID. Which means he answers the way he normally would, half asleep and his brain not quite engaged. He answers with your name.

But it's not you. The voice that replies is so different from yours that it snaps him awake entirely. He is so disappointed he doesn't even panic, his voice so groggy he can play it off that she heard him wrong. After a short conversation, most of which he wasn't paying attention for, he throws the phone into the covers and wonders if he's made a big mistake by starting something new.

Beomgyu

He can't remember much about the dream, only your smile, your eyes, and your hand in his. Now he's awake, and the bed is familiarly warm, the sound of soft breathing behind him. He rolls over with a contened sigh, reaching arms out to pull you against his chest, pressing his nose into your hair. He feels a cheek nuzzle against his neck and all feels right with the world.

"Did you get a new shampoo?" he asks, voice rough with its first use of the day. He lazily pulls his head back and opens his eyes, and reality cracks down over his head like an egg when he sees her.

"No," comes her reply.

It's the first time she's stayed over, the first time anyone has stayed over but you. He was totally fine with it last night. Now it feels so gut wrenchingly wrong. Maybe he should wait a while longer before letting her stay again.

Taehyun

It's been a long, long day. Every muscle aches, and even his brain feels like a muscle with how tired he is. He drops his bag at the door and kicks off his shoes, the sofa calling to him longingly from across the room. The minute his back is on the soft cushion, he knows he'll fall asleep here, but he's not sure that he cares - he's fallen asleep worse places than this. Flicking on the TV, the first thing he sees is an ad about an upcoming movie, a remake of an old classic. He smiles.

"Hey babe," he calls out, "we should take your mom to see this, it's her favourite."

Hearing the familiar creak of the floorboards leading into the kitchen he glances up, and his smile falters. How could he have forgotten? She's looking at the screen with a confused expression, shaking her head. "No, it's not. I've never heard of it." She swings around to look at him now. "Have you even met my mom yet?"

He blinks, somehow feeling more drained than he was before. "Oh... I meant my mom."

Maybe he will go to bed after all.

Huening Kai

He's looking at the photos again, the ones in his phone that he keeps telling himself he'll delete. But every time he pulls them up to get rid of them, he finds he can't. He should, he knows he should, but it seems his head and his heart are at war.

He spends so long flicking through them, there are so many, accumulated over the years you spent together. He lands on his favourite; the two of you at the carnival. The memories the photo brings are so vivid, so precious, he swears he can remember every detail; the temperature of the air, the foods you ate, even the songs you listened to on the way home, car windows down and an impressive amount of sugar in your systems as you sang and bopped along. His mind replays the scene of the two of you on a ride, your laughter amidst the screams of other riders, clutching onto each other's arms for dear life, and how you almost dropped your phone as you reached out to capture the moment.

Kai forgets himself, forgets where he is right now, that this isn't your room he's lounging in, and a loud laugh bursts from him. When his joy filled eyes turn to meet hers, she is giving him an incredulous look over the top of her computer screen. He snaps out of it in an instant and tucks his phone away, apologising with a duck of his head. What is he going to do about those photos?

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

When you’re sick

Warnings: none, one Monsters Inc. reference I hope won't confuse people

Please let me know which is your favourite!

☆ gender neutral reader

Soobin

You'd tried everything, from warm baths to drinking god-awful concoctions people swore by on the internet. But you were still sick. You'd been holed up in your bedroom for almost a week, leaving poor Soobin to have to sleep on the couch. You missed him, but you couldn't let him catch what you had. The only contact you'd had with him all week was through texting, and the meals he'd leave outside the bedroom door for you.

Of course, you'd been apart longer than this before; being in a successful group, Soobin often went on tour for months at a time. But this almost seemed harder, maybe because you felt miserable physically and just wanted to be held and loved on.

"I just wanted to see you," came his muffled voice, a hint whiny. "I won't come any further than this, I promise."

Sighing, you retreated from hiding. You hadn't seen him with your own eyes for what felt like longer than it actually was. There was no helping how good it felt to look at him now. "I miss you."

His lopsided smile gave you a rush of warmth. "Please get better before I go crazy."

You felt guilty. "I'm sorry. You can go and stay at Taehyun's if you-"

Soobin's mouth quirked, his brow creased. "It's not that. I just want to see you, touch you, have a real conversation. I want to hold you until we fall asleep." You felt the longing for him increase. "You always take care of me when I'm sick, even if you might catch it. Please, let me do the same for you."

His eyes held a helpless look that tugged at your heart as much as his words did. You felt your resolve crack, and it must have shown in your face, Soobin crossing the threshold and shuffling towards the bed. Relief flooded through you as he crawled up next to you and tucked you into his arms. His warmth was everything you'd needed for the past week, and he sighed as you buried your face against his neck. You swear you started melting when you felt his fingers in your hair. This was home.

Yeonjun

You weren't sure how long you'd felt like this. Time seems a blur when most of it is spent in bed, falling in and out of sleep and dreams. It took a monumental effort just to roll from one side to the other, so you couldn't remember the last time you'd eaten or showered. One small mercy was the fact that your ears were blocked, muffling the noise of the world outside the window; birds and neighbours dogs and traffic sounds couldn't disturb your sporadic naps.

Suddenly there was soft skin against your cheek, a warm palm and fingertips that you leaned into without question, and a deep sound somewhere close by. It took a few minutes for your mind to kick in and realise that these things were real and not a dream. Opening your eyes to the dim room, you found a face smiling down at you; your Yeonjun. But something was strange about this. Hadn't you been alone? Wasn't there a reason you were in the middle of the big bed, his pillow trapped between your arms?

"Junie?" You whinced as your voice seemed to reverberate through your head, your throat burning as the word tore through it.

"Hey, baby," he replied softly. You felt his fingers swipe the hair off your forehead before his nose was touching your own.

With what little strength you had, you tried to sink further into the mattress to put space between the two of you. "Jun, I'm- I'm sick."

"It's okay." You felt his arm slither under your back and peel you off the bed, pulling you into him. "I'm here."

You sniffled, swallowing against the dryness of your mouth that comes with not being able to breathe through your nose for so long. "Why?"

"'Why?'" He laughed. "Because the tour ended and I came home to you. Aren't you happy to see me?"

You nodded weakly against his chest. "Junie... I'm sick," you said again, half warning and half complaint.

His hand began to rub your back soothingly, and it felt so good to be in his arms again that you sighed heavily, raspily. "I know, babe, I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't..." Words were too hard. Instead, you brought your hand to his chest and tried to push him, rather feebly, away.

A large hand wrapped around your wrist, softly pulling your arm up over his shoulder. "I don't care. I missed you."

Not having it in yourself to argue, you surrendered, letting your body totally relax into his. You had pictured him coming home after tour very differently than this. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to talk about his trip, but you couldn't fight your body. You heard the rumble of his voice again. "What?"

"I'll make you some chicken soup," he repeated. But as he tried to turn to leave the bed you grabbed a handful of his shirt. You heard him chuckle, and his arms were back around you again. "Maybe later, then."

Beomgyu

One minute you were studying, the next you were being woken by your phone blasting the most annoying ringtone Beomgyu had set for himself. You scrambled to snatch the phone off the desk where you had evidently fallen asleep. "Gyu? What time is it?"

"Half past the time you were supposed to meet me at the cinema."

Your heart sank. How long had you been asleep? "Oh no. I'm so sorry, I fell asleep."

"Why do you sound like you're talking into a tin can?"

Now that you were more awake, you noticed the feeling in your throat, the pounding of your head. Sure, falling asleep with your head on a desk wasn't the best, but you'd never known it to make your head feel like this. Come to think of it, you couldn't breathe through your nose very well either. You thought back and vaguely remembered your roommate having had a cough before she left for the weekend. There was a knock at the door.

"Hang on," you said into the phone, crossing the small space to open the door and-

"You look terrible," Beomgyu said, to your face and in your ear before hanging up. His cheeks were flushed, telling you he'd walked all the way here, in the cold, probably to check on you.

"Wow, thanks," you deadpanned as you let him in. "When's the next showing? Maybe we can make that one."

Your boyfriend pulled his hood down and looked at you for a moment before pressing his palm to your forehead. Trying not to flinch at the coldness of his hand, you looked up at him, his eyes still studying you.

"You're hot," he told you.

You scoffed, but it came out as more of a cough. "That's not what you were saying a minute ago."

Without another word, Beomgyu's hands were on your shoulders, turning you around and steering you through the small dorm room and sitting you down on your bed. Then he disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a towel that he pressed against your head.

"I'm fine," you sighed. "Let's go see the movie."

Beomgyu tisked, gesturing for you to hold the towel before dipping to his knees to pull off your slippers. "The only movie you're seeing tonight is the DVD I got you for Christmas." Standing up again, he shooed you up the bed and pulled the covers over you.

"But we've seen that a hundred times," you whined. You'd been looking forward to a night out with your boyfriend; the movie, popcorn, leaving the confines of your dorm room after so many days and nights of studying.

"But you love it," he retorted, mocking your whiny tone. He handed you the remote for the tiny TV at the foot of your bed. "I'm guessing you haven't had dinner?" You shook your head. "Got any cup ramen?" You nodded.

You opened your mouth again to complain, but the words never came as Beomgyu kissed you on the top of the head and walked over to boil the kettle. Instead you let yourself sink into the comfort of your bed, only now noticing how exhausted you actually were. So you weren't going to get your date, but how could you complain when you had a boyfriend like this?

Taehyun

You were up before Taehyun this morning - an unusual occurrence. You'd woken up with a funny feeling in your throat and quickly but quietly escaped his room to cough without waking him. Then you'd tiptoed to the kitchen to boil water, eyes meeting with Yeonjun's who was sitting at the table eating cereal. His smirk said it all.

You were sat on the couch when Taehyun emerged from his room, tired eyes searching for you. By now, Soobin and Beomgyu were also sitting at the table eating. Taehyun plodded over to you. "Morning."

"Don't get contaminated," Yeonjun called, looking up from his phone. You narrowed your eyes at him.

Soobin, who looked like he could've still been half asleep, whipped his head up in confusion, chewing his toast with a new expression.

Taehyun's eyes swept from his friend to you, scanning your face for signs of anything amiss. "Are you not feeling well?"

"M'fine," you croaked, arms wrapped around yourself inside your hoodie as you tried to hold off a shiver.

"Tried to cough up a whole cat this morning," Yeonjun snitched. Soobin looked between Yeonjun and Beomgyu, still puzzled, his messy bed hair comedically flapping side to side.

You rolled your eyes, looking up at Taehyun with a small pout. "I just have a cough. It's probably the change in the weather."

"Or bronchitis."

Taehyun ignored the oldest boy's comment as he crouched down in front of you. "Do you want me to go to the pharmacy?"

"Really," you persisted. "I'm fine. I feel okay, just an itchy throat." As if on cue, you started to cough again, burying your face into the crook of your arm, then quickly tried to recover yourself. "I don't want you to worry."

"Sounds like a duck," Beomgyu said with a tone that gave away his amusement.

Taehyun sighed and rubbed up and down your arms comfortingly. "I just want to help you feel better, so anything you need, you just tell me, okay?"

You nodded. He stood up and went to the kitchen to start breakfast, giving you a kiss on the cheek first. Suddenly there was a commotion, as Beomgyu grabbed his breakfast bowl and ran from the kitchen yelling, "twenty-three nineteen!"

Huening Kai

The first thing that you noticed was a dull ache in your head. You'd taken some pain relief, thinking it was just a normal headache, and pushed on to get ready for your dinner plans. Kai's parents were always so happy to have you for dinner, and to see him catching up with them and his sisters made you happy, too.

You started to feel a little weak halfway through your meal, participating in conversation less and less, and after dinner you'd slipped away to a quiet room for what was supposed to be a few minutes. Your body felt heavy, more exhausted than what would be expected, and as you sat on an armchair in the dimly lit room, you became aware of the dull ache in your muscles. Eyes closing, the sound of distant chatter and laughter from the dining room lulled you quickly into unexpected sleep.

Kai had thought you were gone for the bathroom, and after ten minutes of your absence, his eyes flicking to the door every so often in anticipation of your reappearance, he thought he should check on you - maybe something you'd eaten wasn't agreeing with you. When he'd knocked on the bathroom door and there was no reply, he'd let himself in only to find it empty. He checked the kitchen, then the garden, then walked back to the dining room to see if you'd returned there while he'd been away. His mother joined him as he went to check the living room.

The two of them found you dozing and lowered their voices to a whisper, Mrs. Huening commenting that you hadn't seemed yourself earlier. Kai gently touched the back of his hand to your forehead and found it clammy. This, along with the headache you'd mentioned before the drive up and how quiet you'd been, probably meant you'd come down with something, and he decided to take you home.

That's how you woke up in Kai's arms, in the cold night air, on the way to the car. "There you are," he said when he noticed you awake. "Have a nice nap?"

You noticed a sore throat was beginning as you spoke, glancing around the street. "We're leaving?"

His soft brown eyes met yours as he continued to walk. His arms kept you steady against his chest, so you barely felt like you were on the move. "You're exhausted. You fell asleep."

You hated that you were the reason Kai's family time was being cut short and that you hadn't said goodbye to anyone. "I'm fine, Hyuka. Let's go back. Please?"

He came to a stop as he reached the car, looking down into your eyes again with a soft smile. "You need rest. We'll go home, I'll run a bath, and then we'll get into bed." Seeing you open your mouth to argue, he added, "Let me take care of you."

You couldn't argue with that.

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

So, I had an idea for a collection of oneshots, and I would love some opinions on what you’d rather see before I start.

I can't... Beomgyu with kids is making me so aah >< prepare your heart for dad!Gyu fluff

☆ gender neutral reader

Boy dad Beomgyu who is good cop to your bad cop, always agreeing to five more minutes of playing until getting ready for bed, making you roll your eyes when you hear the two still making too much noise to be changing into pajamas and brushing teeth. (Though you'd be surprised how much noise actually comes from the bathroom while Beomgyu supervises teeth time; Beomgyu singing the toothbrush song and the small boy trying to sing along around his brush and a mouthful of foam, the noise bouncing around the tiled walls of the tiny bathroom and out into the hall.)

The two are always conspiring together, always making a game of out of everything, and sometimes, wearing each other out. On days that you work and Beomgyu stays home with your son, you often come home to find them crashed out on the couch, a mop of dark hair and small arm flopped over one of Beomgyu's long legs. Toys scatter the floor telling you just how busy they've been.

Beomgyu is such a proud dad when he brings his son to work, seeing how the members get so excited to see their favourite "little man", letting him run around the practice room playing chase, scooping him up for shoulder rides. Gyu might be a little distracted while going over the moves for a song they're performing soon, but who can blame him when he can see his mini-me in the mirror, behind the group cutely mimicking the choreo that he's picked up from watching his dad on TV?

Never in my life have I had so many thoughts and headcanons involving children but hey

Txt when their partner goes into labour

Warnings: not descriptive or graphic but labour (as in pushing out a baby), fem!reader

note: I promise this will be the last time you see me write about kids! blame Soobin and Beomgyu-

Soobin hears you cry out from another room, rushes to check on you, eyes darting cluelessly from your face to your belly and back again, until you tell him your water's just broken. You swear the man goes pale, stammering, but it's not time! Doctor's advice, birthing classes, everything he's read about what to do, it all leaves his head. Can he drive right now? Soob? you pat his arm, let's go. Yeonjun drives the two of you to the hospital, Soobin in the back-seat with you, squeezing his arm, his eyes growing wider and wincing every time you have a contraction and whimper with pain. He hates that there’s nothing he can do to take the pain away for you. When you are fully in labour, it's as if his instincts kick in, doing the breathing exercises with you, telling you you're so strong, he loves you so much, you can do it. You've never seen him shake his head so hard and fast as when the doctor asks him if he wants to see the baby's head coming. When the little bundle is in his arms, he becomes sniffly, eyes wet with emotion, the rest of the world disappearing around him. Hey, you say tiredly, when do I get to hold her? Soobin turns his body away instinctively, moving your daughter in the opposite direction of you. You got to hold her for nine months, it's my turn.

Yeonjun is pretty fine, following the plan that he's gone over in his head a hundred times in preparation for this moment. It's when he sees you waddling around your hospital room in pain that he starts to get jittery, and he wants to hold you, soothe you, but he knows that right now he has to let you do your thing. When you finally sit down on the bed between contractions, he climbs up to sit behind you, pulling you back against his chest and rocking you slowly from side to side. It's when you have to start pushing that he starts to get teary, seeing you go through so much pain and hearing you cry out in agony is too much for him, and he can't hold it back. Probably tells you he's so sorry for doing this to you, that he doesn't care if he can't use the hand you have a vice grip on for a month, he doesn't need it. As soon as he sees his child, Yeonjun is a mess. And I don’t just mean tears, I mean audible sobs, as he gazes down at this little piece of the both of you. He’s so choked up he can’t speak as he places the baby in your arms, pressing his head against yours as you both peer at the new member of your family.

Beomgyu is pretty anxious and a little protective. His arm is around the back of your chair as you wait to be checked in, his leg bouncing a million miles an hour. He's filling out paperwork at the front. desk when the nurse comes to take you to your room and get changed, where is she going? The nurse laughs; she's used to first-time dads. Beomgyu is very attentive, asking regularly if you need anything - water, food, a back rub - and after the first five hours, when you suggest he take a nap, he refuses. He's here for you. Can't you give her something for the pain? he asks the doctor over your wails of pain when you begin giving birth, and when the doctor assures him that they already gave you something, Can't you give her more? When you are prompted to push harder, he tells you to get angry, and when that doesn’t help, he starts listing all the stupid things he’s done that have annoyed you. This doesn’t really help either, but soon enough your baby is in the world. He’s real? Beomgyu asks the nurses as they towel off the crying baby, not yet ready to let go of your hand. A nurse hands him the bundle, and he looks so amazed. Hi, he says softly before looking at you with starry eyes, You made this. You laugh as he puts one arm around you and you both admire your son, You helped.

Taehyun is the most collected of the bunch. He knows how nervous you are, so he’s glad he can keep his cool for you. On the drive to the hospital, he can tell you need a distraction, so he tells you all the things you all the things you have to look forward to; no more cramps, no more morning sickness, being able to see your feet, not being a human incubator anymore. He stands by your side through the whole thing, feeding you ice cubes, guiding you through your breathing exercises the way he was taught, and when it's delivery time, being a strong arm for you to go to town on, wiping your damp face with a cold cloth, showering you with encouragement. As soon as he hears that baby cry, he absolutely beams, couldn't stop smiling if he tried, telling you he's so proud of you and kissing your tired face as you finally lay back and rest, exhausted. After helping to cut the cord, he's handed the baby, and he brings it straight to you, laying the tiny thing on your chest. His eyes are so full of love and shiny with emotion as he strokes your hair, both of you in wonder of his tiny life you've created.

You're out shopping when your water breaks, and Kai looks at you in distress. The- the hospital bag, it's at home! he frets as the two of you head for the parking lot. Kai, we put it in the car when it got closer to my due date, remember? you remind him, watching him blink adorably in realisation, though this reassurance doesn't do anything for the deer-in-headlights look in his eyes. At the hospital, he's unusually quiet; his whole world is about to change, and he wonders how nine months came and went so fast. He returns your reassuring smiles, takes a minute to answer questions, but when you need him most, he snaps out of it, large hands soothing your back as you rock yourself against the pain, tying your hair up for you, humming songs and breathing with you through the contractions. You won't have this belly anymore, he pouts as he rubs over the baby bump for the last time. When the baby is placed in his arms for the first time, he is speechless, looking from your tired eyes to the tiny pink human engulfed in his arms, overwhelmed with love.

warnings: none!

author’s note: based on a draft I made in 2021 that says “I want to go apple picking with Soobin.” It's only short but I hope you enjoy.

☆ gender neutral reader

Standing on your tiptoes, you're still just shy of reaching the high ones. You hear his chuckle before his chest is pressed against your back, long arm stretching over your head and grabbing the fruit with ease. You turn and see his grin, eyes smiling too as he drops the apple into your basket.

On the tractor ride back from the orchard, the sun is starting to set, the sky blazing golden orange. Soobin wraps an arm around you, holding your waist as you drop your head to his shoulder. It's been the perfect day, and as you drive home, a good amount of apples in a bag in the back seat of the car, your hand entwined with his, the two of you chatter excitedly about what you will make with the apples. Muffins, apple pie, apple crumble, apple bread. There's enough to make a few things, and you can't wait to start, but tomorrow, Soobin promises, looking over at you with adoring eyes. He loves when you get excited about things.

The next morning, you're up before Soobin, letting him sleep later since he sleeps so well. When he does wake, he emerges from the dark bedroom to find you in the kitchen, one of the sinks full of apples that you've just washed and are almost done drying. He smiles with amusement and a little laugh, plodding over to wrap his arms around you and rest his chin over your shoulder.

"Have you even eaten breakfast?" he inquires, voice all rumbly.

"Of course," you reply brightly, setting the last apple down carefully atop the others in the dry sink. Wouldn't want to bruise them now that you're going to use them.

Soobin snickers. "What did you have, an apple?"

You swipe at him with the towel, but he's already moved, knowing you well enough to see it coming. He's over at the sink, washing his hands before you can say anything more.

And so, the day is spent slicing, peeling, and measuring, enjoying each other's company. Smiling to yourself as Soobin hums happily as he works the whisk. Soon, the whole kitchen smells like cinnamon and baked goods, so excited that you both want to start eating it already. The two of you can't help but excitedly stand together, peering into the oven as it works its magic.

A perfect weekend.

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

Currently thinking about first-time dads txt having to discipline their kids or say no to them... they're all big softies who wouldn't want to be the bad guy or make their kid cry. I feel like Taehyun and Yeonjun would be best at gently laying down the law, while Soobin, Hyuka, Beomgyu, hmm and sometimes Yeonjun, would mostly use the distraction or bribery technique to redirect the child's attention to something else to move them on from the trouble they're in so they don't have to tell them off 😆

e.g. Beomgyu avoiding all the embarrassment a tantrum brings in public: oh look, a gum ball machine! here's a coin... oh nice, a blue one! is it yummy? yeah, that'll keep you busy for a while.

Yeonjun's technique is to just get really pouty with his kid and make them feel guilty for whatever they did lol

Txt as dads headcannons

Beomgyu's son being embarrassed that his dad is the loudest kid on the playground

Yeonjun watching his daughter at ballet class, proud grin never leaving his face and constantly producing his phone from his pocket to take videos, he can't help it

Soobin trying to help his kids do math homework and struggling, wanting to quit more than they do, sending you an SOS with his eyes across the kitchen

Taehyun whose son begs to be on a vlive, so he sets up his phone on camera mode so that they can see themselves, and asks staff to message him comments and questions, bright eyes beaming as he watches his son talk happily with "MOA"

Kai's son and daughter fighting over the tv remote, so he separates them by sitting between them, one on either side, and puts on a movie he knows they will zone out to, snuggling up to him and keeping the peace

Yeonjun whose daughter won't eat her lunch unless her sandwich is cut into stars, who always runs to the door when she hears her dad's car pull up in the drive way, and he knows one day she'll stop and he's not prepared no matter how far away that time is. He picks her up the second he walks in the door and carries her on his hip, baby voice mode activated, asking her what she did today and if he missed her.

Yeonjun's daughter who is just as sassy as he is, maybe more because she knows she can get away with it, pulling exactly the same face he does when he doesn't get his way. His heart melts just looking into her eyes, laughing with pain because he just can't take it! Today, it's cookies before dinner—tomorrow, it'll be his credit card.