Xiao Angst - Tumblr Posts

💚🩵🖤

heaven on earth ✭ ˎˊ-

ft. social media au ⸝⸝ idol!xiao x reader

synopsis ; — in which you befriend your next door neighbour who, unbeknownst to you, was apart of a soon-to-be one of the most popular bands throughout liyue. you're unable to tell if cupid was helping you or not when things with xiao keept going up and down. will he continue to keep his secret from yours truly?

genre — 5wirl band au, next door neighbour (apartment but same thing), slow-burn, fluff, crack, angst (at some point yea), modern au, flirty x shy trope, sfw, includes writing ✰

staus — on-going

PROFILES — sleep deprived workaholics / an(emo) qties

table of contents !

00. prologue .. once upon a time ✮

01. cupid meter !

02. information acquired !

03. gift from stranger !

04. communication is key ✮

05. gift for stranger !

06. pride or nice !

07. unwinding !

08. a new number !

09. out of character !

10. unfamiliar warmth ✮

11. yet !

12. surely a dinner !

13. who he really is !

14. free tickets !

15. hint of the past !

16. arrivals !

TAGLIST [OPEN] — @mikctp @ghostlysyntaxed @kazemiya @nnasv @gojoandelsalovechilde @candy-purple-cyanide @kissingkzuha @zyilas @lunaavity @luminescent-light @mave-in @rizakari @riikyu @kokoscutie @starsxnight @sketcheeee @softlie @izakyun @xiaxilia @the-sweet-madame

(ask to be added or removed)

MAYBE IM IN LOVE ?!

— "what's the problem baby? what's the problem i don't know well maybe im in love ! think about it everytime i think about it, can't stop thinking about it."

synopsis — xiao, the so called 'face of the music department' , or your crush, bumped into you! the 'beauty of the music majors'. for forgiveness, you give him a flower and run off. only for him to tweet about the incident and blow up! does the world really need to know about everything?

tropes — strangers to lovers, meet cute, kind of rom com, uni au, slightly ooc xiao (hes not that brooding and is actually open to making friends!), questionable humor and knowledge of universities. one sided love at first, fluff fluff fluff!!!

started — 7/3/2023

completed —

taglist — open! send an ask to be added :)

notes — bg au finished now for my lil pooks xiao. this is going to be mostly fluff and maybe little to no angst 💪🏻 do not look at the timestamps they are not important!!! taglist is open! send as ask/dm to be added. all eps will be tagged with #maybe im in love?!

profiles

— the mentally ill | xiao's only friends

chapters

preview

01 - accepted!

02 - thank you for the flower?....

03 - l word

04 - too much information

05 - study hard, love hard

06 - xiao's girl

07 - one eye open

08 - trust 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

09 - new bff

10 - operation : love !

11 - does he like her?

12 - hot chocolate

13 - i miss yn

14 - shes high

15 - libraries and games

16 - oh 😅😅

17 - man up

18 - thanks hutao

19 - beach night

20 - too much stuff

21 - that bad

22 - quiet*

tba

taglist : @soobin-chois

Xiao being too busy and occupied with adepti matters for months (this will probably only feel like days to xiao since he had lived for thousands of years) and human reader trying to communicate with him but failed everytime since xiao was always in a haste saying he has more important matters to attend to and he didn't realize that it has been months since he and reader had time spent together, she tried everything to make xiao spend time with her that xiao started to get annoyed and decided too ignore readers calls thinking it was just another human nonsense, after a while reader got tired of it and called xiao for the last time to say goodbye but he ignore it. After a while xiao realized that he hadn't seen reader for a few days nor did he heard her call him so he ask ver but ver just gave him a letter from reader. A letter of goodbye.

Im called angst anon for a reason hahahaha the pain for both xiao and reader here.............

head in hands. the pang of pain i felt in my chest, this is why i need alcohol. no because… mortality is like a butterfly. the moment you look away, the beautiful luminous wings that you admire are snapped by the hands of time. their lifespans simply differ too much from humans, like an adepti’s to a mortal. you just never knew that you were that fleeting moment in xiao’s life, so you try your hardest to move on. he’s made it clear he doesn’t care after your repeated calls of his name, even though he had promised, “i will be there when you call.” it hurts, like a dagger in your soul, knowing the man you love no longer wishes to honour his oath - perhaps it’s time you say goodbye. out of liyue and to adventuring, anywhere to keep your mind away from xiao. what if the last time you call his name, you’re in danger of losing your life in another archon’s land? he doesn’t show, he hasn’t for months yet you still bothered to shout his name, and just like a wingless butterfly, you spiral towards death, once loved and admired - only now, broken beyond the saving grace of life.

xiao never finds you or your body even after he tries months later, scouring your letter for clues as to where you may have gone. it’s for the best he remains oblivious that he inadvertently caused your death.

(p.s anon your angst asks aren’t buried, i’m just working on them :3 i actually need a shot after this i’m so sad, i’m gonna cry while thinking abt all of them and all the heartbroken metaphors imma make)

I want hurt myself by suggesting hanahaki disease with xiao, reader has had feelings with xiao and it took her years to make xiao open up to her and just as she feels that progress is being made a certain shining star aka lumine came and stole xiaos heart in the matter of days.(just writting this out now before my english test drains out my brains energy).

-angst anon

content includes: major character death, hanahaki disease, unrequited love

all i want is love that lasts, is that too much to ask?

though xiao is a tough yaksha, he is dense when it comes to feelings - taking years to open up to his adepti peers and you, taking all these decades waiting for him to remove his thorns when you try to get close to him. your feelings kept you infatuated with the man despite every cold glance or dismissive responses to anything warm you gave to xiao whether it be meals or your embrace.

why does lumine get it so much easier? why does she feed xiao almond tofu? why does he leave mid conversation with you when she even so whispers his name? it’s like xiao’s thorny forest of walls had finally been hacked through only to find that his castle was already occupied with a beauty and a prince without the need of a side character like you. lumine and xiao seemed to be fated, written in the stars even.

you couldn’t even hate her, lumine saved liyue after all, the city you vowed to protect. all the same, you resented the place lumine took in xiao’s heart as it made clear that your centuries with him didn’t matter. it’s clear as day when you cough out a thorned rose, out of your mouth though the origin of roots are entrenched in your lungs. you can feel your long life of illumination ending because of your love for a man who looks to the heroine of teyvat and not you, the adepti who withstood time to stand by him.

you reason that it’s alright, you’ve conquered years of agony and unrequited love through xiao’s obliviousness but as you double over in pain, chest blooming with aches as you see them in wangshu inn - you cannot deny that it hurts. maybe it’s the worst pain of your entire life despite it only beginning as bursts of beautiful petals. now, they’re explosions of fully grown roses, spattering blood and ichor as you heave for breath. if this is how you go, it’s bittersweet - you had tried to get close to xiao out of love yet you got pricked by his thorns only to die at the hands of your beloved.

happily ever after doesn’t come so easily.

afternote… you make it to their wedding. you help scatter petals of silk flowers and qingxin. as the bride passes by you and you feel your chest tighten, you excuse yourself to the bathroom. as if your heart strings snap, you collapse onto the marble floor. xiao and lumine are happy so you smile as you feel the thorns tear you inside out. at least your carcass will be decorated with well wishes for the lovely couple. a tear escapes your eye as you close them for the last time - you loved him. you really did. enough to die for him.

(ps. angst anon i hope ur test went well <3 !!!)

note: my blog contains adult/dark content. please do not interact if you are a minor.

FOOLISH LOVE

pairings: xiao x f!reader

plot: y/n is a simp for xiao and loves him with her whole heart but will never let him know because she is convinced he is never going to return those feelings so she continues to stab herself in the heart by hanging out with him and falling more and more in love, full of happiness and sadness that he isn’t hers. spoiler: he is hers.

genre: angst, but also fluff

A/N: oh my god this is a repost of the first fic i ever wrote... um yea this is an interesting writing style.. but i kinda like the innocence so i'm just going to keep it!! we'll see how it goes.

--

“hey, i got this for you,” you were a little out of breath from the climb to the highest floor of the wangshu inn. you’d think days after days of trudging up and down the stairs would have you used to the burn in your calves but here you were sighing heavily as you place the warm bowl of almond tofu in xiao’s hands.

he shoots you a look halfway between concern and disdain, “you’re late.”

you scoff, plopping down on the rock beside the railing where xiao was settled, “you’re welcome.”

this was a routine for the two of you — every wednesday evening (because according to xiao “wednesday is when the sun is the wArMeST”) you would usurp smiley’s place in his kitchen and whip up almond tofu for a certain ungrateful adeptus and while he ate the dish (with a small smile that he always denied when you brought it up), you would narrate the happenings in your life as an employee of the wangsheng funeral parlour.

“the boy had this entire ‘good riddance’ attitude the whole time he was making negotiations but zhongli and i just knew he was trying to act strong,” you pause for half-giggle, “and guess what? as soon as he thought he was alone in hu tao’s office, he basically broke down.”

“that sounds revolting,” xiao places the now empty wooden bowl between the two of you, “why bother putting up such elaborate facades of strength if they’re so fragile?”

silently, you run your fingers through your hair, wondering if xiao was hearing what he was saying. it sounded too much like he was trying to provoke you.

you look away, choosing to ignore whatever the strangely pointed look on his face meant, and offer an unearnest hum.

“well, how about you?” you fiddle with xiao’s chopsticks, a little restless, “what adepti business have you been upto?”

a beat passes as xiao shifts, throwing his legs over the edge and swinging them. the uncharacteristically childish movement made you smile; you find that the more time you spend around xiao, the more you realise just how young he was.

“nothing of interest,” you roll your eyes at his curt reply.

“alright, i know you hate talking about your very confidential duties,” you’ve tried for weeks to get him to say something about what he does while you’re away and the best you ever received was an unsatisfying tale about a little girl interrupting xiao’s solitude in the mountains. and yes, you are aware that xiao just isn’t built to share things easily, or at all, but it doesn’t help the slight sting you feel everytime he declines.

well, at this point, it must be apparent: you are helplessly in love with the man with the softest teal undertones and the hardest walls to break, the adeptus who refuses to meddle with human world and thus, refuses all of your love. you know he does not think of you any more than a mortal and yet, every wednesday you ignore the warning in hu tao’s farewell and find yourself mesmerized by the enigmatic diamond on his forehead and the red around his eyes.

simply put, you are an idiot.

--

“honestly, i never imagined you to be so dramatic, y/n.”

hu tao is ridiculous. everything about her is far from the world of common sense and it reaches beyond the comprehension of any sane human being. perhaps, that is why zhongli is able to get along with her so well.

you gape at her, “i don’t understand — you’re asking me to consummate with a man i don’t even know and i’m the one you’re accusing?!”

“oh, for the last time, all you have to do is take him around liyue! and after you’ve dined on the finest dishes — which i’ve ensured xiangling will be responsible for — you will lead him to his chambers at wangshu inn!”

you raise an eyebrow, “and?”

the next words are whispered, “and maybe accompany him for the night...”

“HU TAO!”

the girl clap her hands together in plea and you feel a sense of dread creeping up your neck. there’s no way out of this, is there?

“is everything all right?”

“ZHONGLI!”

the tall man enters hu tao’s office, probably hearing the racket the pair of you have been creating, with an alertness, ready to face whatever monster was haunting you.

you raise a finger at hu tao who had her head in her hands, afraid zhongli would take your side. (which, surprise, he did.)

“zhongli! help me! hu tao is taking advantage of my maiden nature to ship me off with some gnarly man who will be sure to have the worst of intentions!”

the panic on zhongli’s face morphs into a frown of confusion as he protectively steps in front of you, “is this true, hu tao?”

hu tao sighs from her place, “no, of course not! i am y/n’s friend, her employer — what makes you think i would want to give her away to an unknown man? but the problem is that my family has sent what they call a ‘marriageable’ man and want me to keep him company on his trip to liyue.”

“he is from snezhnaya, yes?”

“correct, but the trouble is that i despise my family’s choice in partners, especially partners that you can’t easily get rid of. i wish not to be involved with him in any way.”

you step next to zhongli, “so you want me to suffer? you would rather see me writhe in—”

“all right, ladies, calm down,” you huff as you sit back down in the chair across from hu tao, “i see the entire matter now. i understand.”

“so? are you going to allow her to do this injustice to me, zhongli?”

years of working with zhongli had granted you quite the soft spot in his books and you knew just how to utilize his kind nature when times required.

“no, i agree with y/n. it would be a purely vile thing to leave her with this man in your stead,” hu tao visibly wilts and you feel a tiny bit bad, “however, we mustn’t allow hu tao to go off on her own either, for that would be irresponsible of us.”

“oh?” hu tao’s interest and your dread spike back up as zhongli scratches his chin for a moment before outlining his plan to get out of this tight spot.

“you want us both to go? do we look like a bunch of concubines to you, zh—”

“no! that is not what i mean! i suggest that y/n goes with hu tao and this man with… a date of her own.”

“so… like a double date?”

hu tao lights up, “yes!! yes!! that sounds marvelous. this way she can finally get out of her infatuation with that gloomy adeptus—”

you glare at hu tao, your hands lighting up with your electro vision threateningly.

“the question remains, who will take with you?” hu tao’s question is sickeningly full of innuendo and you want to distance yourself as far from it as you can.

you jump up to your feet, “zhongli!” you hook an arm around his elbow, having to stand on your toes in the slightest from the gap in your heights.

zhongli appears conflicted at your declaration, coughing awkwardly, “f-forgive me, y/n, i view you much more like a sister.”

you gasp when you realise what he means, “no! no! what- no! oh my archons, i have absolutely no feelings for you, that would be criminal. i meant that you should pose as my date.”

“why him?! i am exhausted of seeing the same two people all the time!”

“oh, come now. why not? after all, zhongli will be able to put the man down in a second if he dares to make an unrequited move.”

zhongli clears his throat, recovering from his misunderstanding, “oh, i suppose that is an intelligent proposal…”

“i know! great,” you nudge zhongli, throwing a wink at hu tao, “let’s get ready for the double date then!”

--

there is a skip in your step as you rush up the stairs toward xiao as fast as you could without spilling the contents of the bowl in your hands.

you were excited!!! xiao would be so amused!! you managed to turn a situation of possible suffering into one of appropriate tolerance!!

you almost trip as xiao comes into sight.

but you slow down when you realise he’s not alone.

oh! ganyu!!

the two of them seem to be engrossed in conversation and xiao looks... calm. nothing like how he usually appears when he meets people. in general, he has a weirdly distressed look that you would proudly notice softening whenever you were with him

it was one of your achievements in life, you felt, one of the only hopes that made you cling onto the dream that perhaps, you would be loved back. but you feel nothing but disappointment when xiao seems to easily chat (!!) with ganyu.

you shouldn’t be surprised really.. she was an adeptus after all. what gave you the idea that xiao would prefer to be with you, an ordinary human, when he had fellow adpeti like ganyu who could understand him in ways you couldn’t ever dream to parallel?

the excitement you felt moments ago is now far from your reach even as you try to smile back at ganyu when she notices you, waving at you happily. xiao tilts his head to look at you, nodding in acknowledgement.

you almost want to turn back and leave, as you feel your ears redden from something like humiliation.

“y/n!” ganyu beckons you toward the two of them and you reluctantly move closer. “hello, ganyu. i haven’t seen you for a while.”

“ah, i apologize. ningguang has been keeping us quite busy off late,” ganyu scratches her neck, “oh! which reminds me i have to collect some iron chunks for her! i will see you later, then.”

“goodbye,” you mutter as she flies off the railing, leaving you alone with xiao. it is now you notice that xiao has something in his hands.

“ganyu cooked a special variation of almond tofu for my trial,” the bowl is ingrained with golden details, much bigger and more elegant than the one you clutch in your hands.

“sounds interesting,” you hold up the bowl in your hands awkwardly, “i suppose i can take this one back then.”

xiao frowns, “why would you do that? it’s not as if i have a limit for how many bowls i can eat.” he takes the dish from your hands and waits for you to take your seat on the rock.

but you remain standing, taking support against the railings, “you should.”

you don’t fill the silence that ensues with your ramblings and instead listen to the wind as it picks up. xiao doesn’t take notice of this until he’s finished eating and clears his throat to bring attention to himself — his way of asking you to speak.

“we didn’t work much at the parlour today.”

“oh? is it because of hu tao’s incompetence or perhaps, zhongli wanted to recount one of his endless encounters?”

despite everything, you crack a smile at xiao’s comments. this was your weakness — a curse really. it would take everything in you and you would still be incapable of resenting xiao.

“no, we had to solve the case of hu tao’s marriage, one she wants to avoid so badly that she would have me sleep with a completely unknown man.”

xiao coughs in surprise, “what?!”

you are not naive enough to read much into the hostility in xiao’s eyes, “luckily enough, zhongli came up with a plan that would preserve everyone’s dignity.”

briefly, you explain the plot to corner hu tao and her potential husband with your and zhongli’s disguise as a couple.

“why would you go to such lengths to avoid a mere man? you could just take him out when he appears.”

“xiao, you do know that no matter his character, he is a guest of liyue.”

“if he is willing to force a lady into marriage, then he hardly is. and killing him would profit your business. a much better solution.”

you examine xiao to decipher whether he is being serious or not. he never does joke about hurting people but his eyes have a dangerous glint as if he means every word he says.

“i wish you would take these matters more seriously,” you look at the scenery one last time before springing away from the ledge. “anyway, i should leave. zhongli wants to meet before the date. see you, xiao.”

you leave swiftly, knowing if you stayed any longer, you’d find yourself convinced by whatever xiao had to say. you wouldn’t let yourself be swayed by your hopes anymore.

but this is what you miss when you turn your back to him: the clenching of xiao’s jaw because he doesn’t deem it possible take you any more seriously.

--

“ahhh, this is too much, zhongli!!”

“it is but some mere jewelry. i am sure if we were to crystallise your knowledge into gold, it would outshine these pieces brilliantly.”

you cringe at his words, “please, zhongli, save the flattery for later and help me put this on.” you hand him the delicate string of pearls he produced minutes ago (“i would never allow any lover of mine roam around bare-necked”). you admire the bracelet with the matching pearl in its center, smiling (“what’s with the bracelet, then?” “it comes in a set. you must look complete or it would be an insult to my affection.”)

“i mean it nonetheless,” zhongli fingers are warm against your neck as he slides the necklace snugly against your neck, clicking the ends closed. you praised yourself for opting to wear the wide-necked dress today which allowed the pearls to stand out against your skin while complementing the white with its smooth lilac.

for a minute, you let your imagination wander, replacing zhongli with a shorter man who would no doubt be commenting about his disdain for trifles such as accessories.

“it looks wonderful, y/n,” zhongli smiles at you, eyes filled with friendly appreciation and you feel a little empty even as he slides an arm around your waist, wondering when you would be looked at with something more intense than camaraderie.

the night progresses better than you expect. the man, whose name is lee, turns out to be less of a dignity-snatching gremlin and more of a light-hearted merchant who was tricked by tao family’s influence into coming all the way to liyue.

zhongli and you don’t need to pretend to be in love, but for the sake of meticulousness, he pats your head in the middle of his monologues as reaffirmation anyway.

hu tao has made a little effort to dress up, her staple hat nowhere to be seen and her pigtails traded for open hair that bellows around her fiercely. you smile at her as the two of you trail after the two men who are too occupied in their chatter to notice you straggling, “not so bad, is it?’’ hu tao shrugs but doesn’t deny it.

the three of you show lee to wangshu inn when it’s late enough, hu tao even offering some of her time in the morning to see him off at the harbour. when lee has left for his chambers (much to everyone’s relief, he made it clear that he had no intentions of forcing hu tao to spend the night with him. you kept a finger on your hidden polearm anyway), zhongli offers to watch the moon for some time.

“the moon is always quite remarkable from here, isn’t it?” you nod as hu tao sets off with an exclamation of “i’m getting us milk!” and sigh in relief. this night could have ended much, much worse.

“oh!” you remember the cold weight around your neck, “i’ve to return your jewelry.” you reach for the clasp, meaning to remove it but a hand on yours stills you.

“no, you should wear it for now. return it to me at the parlour later,” you giggle at zhongli.

“oh? i thought you said i’m like a sister to you, zhongli?” you tease him with a smile.

“of course, i meant that. however, it would be a pity to leave it in my pocket idle when it looks so fascinating in the moonlight.”

“archons, i wonder how you’ve stayed single for so many long decades, it’s creepy when you talk to me like that.”

zhongli chuckles and opens his mouth to retort but stops halfway, jerking his head to look at something behind you, expression alert for a moment and then familiar.

“what is it?” you look over your shoulder and find hu tao returning to you.

“nothing, i thought i saw someone familiar for a second.”

“i treat you to dinner and this is how you thank me? by pretending like i’m a stranger?” you laugh as hu tao launches at zhongli with the tray of milk in her hands, your heart shedding some of its pain unknowingly.

--

xiao doesn’t easily taking liking to things, but he does draw upon a list of his favourites, a list of items that make him feel something akin to happiness.

in the List, one of the higher positions was occupied by moonlit nights; nights where the moon was unapologetically enormous, filled to its brims, flooding and invading.

but today he finds himself resenting the moonlight, for you look so tempting under its touch, temptingly out of his reach.

now, xiao didn’t mean to follow you after you left him miserable and guilty of something he didn’t do. he couldn’t help it: his curiosity got the better of him when you mentioned zhongli.

and everything went downhill fast when he caught sight of zhongli figure bent against you, tying a necklace around your neck that seemed too precious to be a mere prop in the plans you spoke of.

xiao hated it, all of it. the way you easily touched zhongli, who leaned into your touches; the way he towered over you protectively; and the way your delicate features were only emboldened in the lilac dress you adorned.

just as quickly as he came, xiao left, his mood worse than ever before. he’d seen enough.

he returned with the intention of sparing the burn in his heart no more heed but there came the tinkling of your laughter from within the inn, and once again, xiao finds himself perched behind a pillar watching you from a distance, something he was doing more often than he liked.

and there you are, giggling against zhongli’s shoulder, sparking something feral within xiao.

he remembers your carefree giggles from a long time ago, when you just met him. why was it that they, your smiles and your brushes against him, had grown more and more sparse in time?

--

“xiao?” you frown when you don’t find xiao by your usual spot, placing the hot bowl on the rock to look for him.

maybe he was in his chamber?

you head deeper into the inn, stopping outside the chamber that xiao had mentioned in passing and knock thrice, lightly, almost afraid that he was inside. “xiao?”

you hear a few thuds from inside the room, before the door creaks open, giving way to xiao, who looks… unusual.

there is nothing off about his clothes, everything perfectly — eerily so — in place, but his expression gives him away. you are used to his disgruntled demeanour but today his eyes held something darker.

“hey, are you okay?”

xiao didn’t expect you to show up at his door (albeit he did hope dearly that you would, just so he could feel something), but he scoffs when he sees you, against his will. you look at him in slight shock and xiao wonders why you should find his rudeness out of place.

“what is it?”

you continue to pin him with that gaze of yours, disbelieving, “y-you didn’t show up on the terrace… it’s wednesday.”

“i see. i must have lost track of time.”

“you’ve never done that before.”

“well, you’ve never shown up empty-handed like this so i suppose we’re even, no?”

xiao can sense that you’re trying to control yourself as you pause. then, “xiao, seriously, what happened?”

“i am serious, nothing happened. if you’re looking to be entertained, maybe you should seek zhongli out, i’m sure he can help you out.”

“what?” you throw your hands in ridicule, “please, would you stop attacking me for a moment and tell me why you’ve holed yourself up like this?”

“and what makes you think i have any compulsion to inform you of my thoughts?”

xiao doesn’t know what he’s doing but he wants to hear you say something, anything that can hurt him. he wants to be rejected, to be pushed away. a bad habit he can’t seem to put away, especially when you persist so strongly.

you sigh, “okay, since you’re clearly not in the headspace to hold a proper conversation, i’m going to leave. i’ll see you tomorrow if you’re feeling better then.”

just as you spin to leave, xiao feels himself mumble, “coward.”

you stop in your tracks, “what did you say?” when you turn around, xiao can see a flicker of optimism, hope that you misheard him.

“i called you a coward. you pretend to be strong and tell me you’re my friend, that no matter what, you’re capable of creating a relationship with me, even if i’m just a bitter, forgotten adeptus. but the second it gets hard, you run.” he laughs mirthlessly, feeling his heart bleed when a tear falls onto your cheek, “leave, you’re as selfish as they go.”

the world stills when the last words fall of his tongue — the words all lies, meant to be weapons, meant to injure. and by the crestfallen expression you pin him with, he’s sure it’s worked.

but instead of leaving like he asks you to, like he expects you to, he swears your feet dig deeper into the wood of the inn.

“you have no idea, xiao, do you? selfish, you say? do you think i cook almond tofu for you every single week, after an entire day’s of work because i have something in it for me? is it your pleasurable company i come here for, or your willingness to open up for me, even after all these days, these years. do you think i like it? no, i hate it. every single day i spend near you, it hurts. do you know what else is on wednesdays? the parlour’s weekly outing. i miss it for you, xiao, i give up time with people who would actually talk to me. and in the beginning, i was glad to have someone who listened so well. until i realised i don’t actually have you.”

you’re breaking down slowly, tears falling faster by the second, “and you know what? all of this would have been fine. but… i feel so much for you, xiao,” your voice is thin and desperate, your hands clawing at your leg. xiao’s throat is dry as you continue, “i— these feelings i have for you make it all the more painful to be near you. they’re so heavy and so overbearing and it just hurts so much because— because i know— i know you.”

xiao wants to ask what you mean — what feeling? what do you mean you know him? what about him? a shiver creeps up his shoulder but before his words are formed, you’re gone and suddenly, he is overwhelmed by the smell of almond tofu.

and this is what he realises: all this time he thought it was his love for almond tofu that made wednesdays so special, but no, it was your scent that he was looking forward to.

--

the night was cold and harsh

or maybe you just weren’t wearing enough layers to keep it away.

but either way, your cheeks felt especially cold as if they had been sunburnt. you did cry a lot, after all.

after managing to keep it together for the past week, you finally felt yourself sobbing when you unconsciously had made your way to wangshu inn. it was wednesday.

running as fast as your legs would take you, you thanked the archons that your house wasn’t too far.

now, about three hours later, you finally come out to the silent porch of your little cottage. you love watching qingce village in the night because besides the occasional anemo slime, it was serene and you could lie down in the privacy of your porch, watching the stars.

and like the countless other times you did this before, your hand reaches out to rest beside you, yearning for touch, to hear anything besides your own breathing.

“ah, fuck,” another tear trails down your face. you expected to feel numb by now but the realisation you had after your breakdown with xiao remained the same: you’re lonely. you didn’t expect to be lonely. you were friends with the loveliest of people, and your job was of many joys, once you ignored the initial suffering of death.

but either way, you couldn’t change the fact that it had been two long years since you’d felt a man’s touch, all thanks to your stubborn infatuation for xiao.

you found it hard to think about anyone else even when touching yourself at night but now, knowing you were no longer anywhere close to having a chance to be granted your desire for him, your mind wanders to the many offers from men you ignored.

one such proposal was prominent in your mind. kaeya was his name, you think. you suppose you could travel to monstadt. it wasn’t that late. before you can steel your conviction to move, you hear a rustling behind you.

soft footfalls followed by an even softer whisper of “y/n?” and you feel your breath pick up, the voice triggering pain and affection all at once.

you stay still, clutching the blanket around you tighter as you feel the figure approach you.

“xiao,” you acknowledge him as he enters your vision, fighting your instinct to shut yourself up in your room.

xiao looks relieved and he’s a little breathless, “y/n. you’re here.”

“i am.”

“i— i was worried when you didn’t come. it’s not like you to miss two of our meetings.”

you know he’s making you curious on purpose, making you overlook your fight, but you cave in, “two meetings?”

xiao lips lift in a smile when you take the bait, “yes. you said you were willing to talk on thursday when i wasn’t acting so... foolishly.”

“your words, not mine,” you refuse to offer him a smile, simply looking at him. he’s uneasy today, squirming but honest, eyes cast away and hands fidgety.

when silence falls, you don’t fill it even when he clears his throat and after two long minutes of looking at each other, he finally speaks first.

“about what you said that day... the— the feelings?”

the question rings clearly in his voice and you bite the inside of your cheeks, “i meant it. whether or not either of us likes it, i love you, xiao.”

you aren’t sure why you feel this confident — perhaps the surety of your last rejection affirms you or the bitterness powers you instead — but you say it clearly. clearly enough that you know that xiao’s ears turn red not from the cold, but from your words.

“i’m sorry for everything i said to you last week, but i meant it. i can’t promise everything will be the same but i need some time… away to gather my thoughts and take care of these feelings.”

“you don’t have to.”

you breathe a chuckle, “i have to try, xiao, not only for your sake but also mine.”

“no, there’s no need… there is nothing wrong with your feelings for me.”

this is when you finally raise your eyes to look at xiao and are stunned into a half-mouthed gasp at the sheer passion he offered up in his gaze. it was not different from the array of intense glares he would often arrest you with but this specific one was… disarming in the most un-xiao-like way. it was charming, gentle. vulnerable.

as if this isn’t enough to convince you that either xiao is testing some mystic adepti art on you or that you’re stuck inside some sickeningly realistic dream, xiao pads closer to you and falls to his knees, deliberate and meaningful.

“xiao? what—”

“the words i said to you that day were void of any truth. i couldn’t for a second muster the ludicrous thought that you’re selfish or cowardly. i… i am accustomed to seeing people leave, willingly or not, and without considering how you felt, i wanted to see the same happening to us.”

you are reeling from this entire situation — xiao is closer to you than he’s ever been in years and he’s speaking… a lot. like entire sentences!!!

“i am a fool. but i care about you… and not only platonically. these feelings you speak of — they seem to have settled in my chest as well.”

his breathing is heavy when he finishes and you find yourself getting breathless as well as you drop the blanket from around you.

“b-but,” you swallow against your dry throat, “but i’m mortal… i’m so weak. why—?” you seem to be unable to finish your question when xiao’s fingers hover over your palm in your lap.

distantly you realise that you’re both facing each other, knees folded and expression mirroring a look equal parts misery and adoration.

his index finger brushes your knuckles, “may i?”

you nod, allowing your colder hand to slip into his. a rush of blood bursts into your cheeks when his other hand follows, enveloping your hand.

“your mortality is not a sign of weakness. for eons, i’ve been daunted and seduced by solitude, because with the serenity follows darkness in the form of my past.”

“stupid karmic debt,” you don’t stop the bitter remark form slipping, genuinely annoyed at the unfair punishment xiao suffers.

his thumb rolls into circles on the back of your hand, “but i’ve been feel myself getting better, as if i were getting healed. and do you know what i think? you. you’ve been making me lighter, somehow making me feel something i never imagined myself capable of.”

you’re speechless and hot from the weight of his words, squeezing his hand in reply.

“i adore you, y/n. and i wish to heal you, too. the heaviness of your feelings—”

“is no longer,” you smile, hesitantly placing your free hand over his stacked ones, “if you return these feelings even in the smallest way, i am happy to embrace them at last.”

xiao is silent and then, he embraces you: a promise.

“thank you.”

everything doesn’t go back to normal. and you’re glad.

you still meet with xiao every week — now on saturdays, because no matter how many times you tell xiao you would rather feel the wind next to him, he insists you go out for drinks with hu tao and zhongli.

he sits by the table in smiley’s kitchen now and watches you when you make almond tofu — two portions this time. and when you’ve finished eating, you shift closer to xiao, knees touching and hands brushing so softly that the touch is more of a tickle, and watch as the sun disappears, dimming the world around you till you can feel nothing but xiao’s breathing, lulling you into a blissful sleep.

and when he leaves you in the dark. xiao x gn!reader. warnings: angst, xiao dies, 2.7 chasm update spoilers. wc: 1,906. semi proofread.

in each of xiao’s waking moments, he thinks of you.

he thinks of the sun rising in your eyes when you turn to look at him. he thinks of your smile brighter than the moonlight when you tell him about your day. he thinks of the warmth in your hands when you gently grab his own, tugging on him to lead the way.

and as his body grows weaker with each passing second from the fantastic compass, he thinks about you. as though his ears are filled with water, the loud yelling of yanfei and paimon is drowned away by his thoughts of you—it has always only been of you.

you always hated how self-sacrificial he was. your shoulders would slump when you’d hear him utter his thoughts and you’d angrily bite back your tears. you’d wrap your arms around his waist after and tell him it was all nonsense—that he still had you.

that should there come a day the stars will not align, xiao will still have you.

you would never miss the sudden look in his eyes, yet he smiles lightly and nods every time.

when the platform shatters and so does his mask, vanishing slowly as the strength in him dies a little more, xiao finally remembers what you had said to him before he left.

“come back home to me.”

you had been playing with his fingers when you spoke, not once looking up at him—missing the ghost of a smile on his lips. someone like you was too far for xiao to reach but still, he wallowed in your affection and surrendered himself fully.

you who has been blighted by someone like xiao, a demon who has slain thousands—mortals and gods alike. xiao wished back then that he had stayed away, kept to himself on the balcony of wangshu inn and never helped you with your problems.

for someone as awkward as him, xiao learned to breathe and love. love someone so different, someone who is not like him; and will never be like him. he learned to breathe you in as though you and he do not know where the two of you had begun and when you two had become whole.

“okay, i will,” xiao whispered that night. it was a promise to you and him—he’d come back home, safe and sound, to you.

then you looked up at him that time, smiling lightly as your eyes interlocked. you had noticed the fondness in his eyes, hand reaching up to cup his cheek. cute, you thought—but you’d never tell him that.

xiao supposes this would be the only time he has broken a promise to you. of the countless promises he had kept, this would be the only one he would have to break, whether he had a choice or not.

he staggers back, breath heavy and so is his body. they all look at him—yanfei, yelan, the traveler, paimon, and shinobu—with wide eyes as he stands weakly, eyes travelling towards the opening above them.

he would apologize if he could, take you once more into his arms and kiss your nose. he would apologize for everything he couldn’t have done with you and ask for your forgiveness. he knew you’d accept him as you always have.

xiao knows that his time is running out.

the color green engulfs his right hand as he balls it into a fist, knowing this would be his last act. heroic—he thinks, idiotic—you’d say. 

“i like the color green,” you told him once on a stroll.

xiao paused in his steps, turning to look at you with a raised brow. “green?” he repeated.

“yeah, i like it,” you hummed. “everything about you is green—you’re green.”

he didn’t know what it meant during that time, only that he knew you liked it because of him. xiao took every chance to take home every colored green object in sight when he would go out.

he brought a four-leaf clover once, hoping that it would bring you any luck compared to being with him. xiao left it on your hands with a shy smile as you stared at it with a smile.

everything else followed after that. xiao would grab a jade stone should he see one, a beautiful water lily when he passes by the lake, a green flower when it blooms at night.

when the sunset came and you laid your head on his shoulder by a tree trunk, xiao hesitantly asked, “why the color green?”

you didn’t move from your position, instead, you took a look at the setting sun. “i just like it,” you answered. “but, if you really want to know…”

xiao gazed at you, watching the way your lips would move, nose scrunch up when you smiled, and eyebrows moving when you spoke. he then glanced at the sky and the setting sun—it was pink and purple, something you always loved to stare at, even more than you loved the color green, that he knew.

“does that answer your question?” xiao blinked. ah, he didn’t listen.

“it does,” he said, hand slowly reaching towards yours, intertwining it with his. 

though he feels disappointed in himself for never hearing your answer, xiao realized there, you are more beautiful than the sun setting. should the sun itself disappear, xiao would follow you to the ends of the earth just to watch the sunset in your eyes.

this time, however, xiao understands why you like the color green—it symbolizes his protection. the color engulfs his companions, a bright light green that he knew would protect them and bring them to safety, and he knew that it would bring only them.

xiao watches as yelan reaches out to him, yelling something incoherent in his ears, then finally, they disappear and leave him on his own. 

the platform below him cracks and xiao falls.

he wonders what you would have said to him should you know he sacrificed himself for others—only this time, he isn’t coming back. it was his job, his duty—it was bound to happen at one point. it was something you always refused to accept, xiao shouldn’t have to bear the burden of others.

“you first before others,” you said one time. “why should you put your life on the line for them?”

it was in the contract—he would have said. but xiao was bound by no contracts (at least anymore), only his morals and his guilt. his sins were far greater than any living adeptus and he must suffer for all eternity for what he has done.

but you show him that he doesn’t have to bear the burden of others, that like everyone else, xiao is loved. and he is loved deeply and greatly by none other than you.

to others love may be a burning fire of desire, to know all of your deepest secrets, or kissing below the shade of the trees in spring and waiting for the flowers to fall. but for you, you show xiao that love to you is simply him.

and xiao knows that you love him more than you do yourself.

it’s only that xiao knows in himself that you are the epitome of love itself—and he will love you even until death.

“what are you holding?” you came up to him on a cold night by the balcony. the wind blew and howled, you shivered slightly as you make do with your hands rubbing your arms for any source of warmth.

xiao turned to you, holding a crystal-fly in his right hand. “i thought it would suit you,” he murmured, reaching out to tuck the piece in your hair. 

he gazed at you, a light smile on his lips as you touched the crystal-fly on your hair gently. xiao was right whenever it came to you—something he was always proud of, and the only thing he was proud of in himself.

“i love it,” you whispered.

“i love you,” xiao whispered back—barely audible but he knows you hear it, and wants only you to hear it.

[name], when tomorrow starts without me, i hope you feel relieved.

he has seen the mountains fall and the oceans rise, but xiao knows that he has loved only you, and forever will only be you. 

but i hope you know that i will love you even if there are no clouds in the sky and the setting sun has become dull in your eyes.

and as he falls into his doom, xiao remembers your smile, the crinkle of your eyes, the laugh you let out when he takes you too seriously, the warmth of your hugs, and the love that you brought him.

“what’s your favorite flower?” he had asked suddenly.

you thought for a few seconds as you say, “oh, i don’t know.”

xiao frowned.

“but if there was a flower like you, i would choose that one,” is what you said after.

you gave him a bright smile, laughing at your own words—still, they were true. wrapping your arms around his neck, he staggered backwards, holding your waist to steady the both of you. should there be a garden full of flowers, you would choose xiao again and again.

“that’s nonsense,” xiao clicked his tongue.

“huh? hey! i thought it was cute!”

his eyes shoot open.

for once in his life, xiao reaches up towards the small light and wishes it would grab him just as how you pulled him out of his misery.

what would you think?

what would you say?

what would you do when the news comes to you?

as he falls, tears spring to his eyes as he remembers you. the only person in his life who had shown him love. the only person who had cried when he came home with blood on him. the only person who he knows would be devastated when you find out the truth about what had happened to him.

if only xiao had stayed far away from you, it wouldn’t have ended up like this—you would not have to cry for him.

until xiao’s final moments, he thinks about you.

--

“i’m sorry, xiao has died.”

the smile on your face fades, handpicked qingxins now lay by your feet as your hands drop to your sides. verr goldet stands in front of you, a solemn look on her face—you watch her lips move but you could barely hear what she says.

xiao has died.

xiao has died?

you open your mouth to thank her for bearing you the news, but it stays open. there was nothing to say. she watches as you tremble, the gloss in your eyes fading—a look she had first seen on xiao when you had not come for a week.

with a shaky voice, you reply, “okay… thank you.”

you should have seen it coming; that one day, xiao would not return safely in your arms. the longer you stand in front of verr goldet, the heavier your body becomes, dragging you down as if it wishes to bring you with xiao himself. for now, you will weep for your dead lover.

you hope that in xiao’s final moments, he knows that should he and you walk this world once again with no remnants of each other, you will find him again and again.

notes i thought about xiao finally resting but wipee go down with me he worries about leaving you alone so in his last final moments he's desperately trying to cling onto whatever faith he has left in himself to go back to you but <3 he can't tada hehe also i hope the transitions are understandable as you can see the reader isn't with xiao in the chasm, so all you saw are xiao's memories with you just loving him or as i like to call it his life flashing before he dies :p i wrote this in one day i can't believe but i had to edit it a lot because my metaphors didn't seem right, i am not an english major so i am horrible at this

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the aftermath

pairing: xiao x gn!reader

cw: spoilers of the archon quest “hidden dreams in the depths,” entirely self-indulgent 🤍

the scene would be comical from an outsider’s perspective.

a human sitting alongside one of the great yaksha, dirt and bruises marring their countenances. tears run down their faces in streams as they shovel spoonfuls of a shared plate of almond tofu into their mouths. truly, comedic.

“stop crying,” xiao demands, soft.

“how can i?” you retaliate, setting your spoon down and hastily wiping your tears. “you almost… you almost…”

just the thought of losing him brings another fresh wave of tears to your eyes, and you instinctively turn away to hide them, “how dare you tell me to stop crying when you are, too.”

he can’t argue with that. xiao touches his cheek to feel the wetness there, foreign and involuntary. you had never once seen him cry despite the demons that plagued him every single day. he was always strong, always put up a protective front for you.

he would have done anything for you to get out of there alive. even at the cost of his own.

but as he looks at you now, sitting so close yet feeling so far away, he wonders if that’s what you would have even wanted in the first place. it makes him so unexplainably sad.

“i hate you,” you mutter, with no bite.

you don’t… you love him. he knows that.

xiao tentatively reaches out and grasps your shoulder. you let him slowly maneuver you so you’re facing him, and he starts to thumb at your tears.

it doesn’t help, not really. only because seeing xiao cry while doing so only makes you cry more.

“i hope you know to never make such a rash decision like that ever again,” you whisper, warbled and broken, “i don’t ever want to be in a world without you in it.”

xiao brings his forehead to meet yours, eyes closing as he basks in your warmth.

“i know,” he relents, holding your face in a gentle cradle.

heaving a sigh through your nose, you pull away from xiao and pick up the discarded plate of almond tofu. his eyes are half-lidded as you bring a spoonful to his lips. he takes it without argument, and your heart makes leaps.

you bite your lip, unable to resist the urge to lay a gentle kiss on his damp cheek.

“don’t forget it.”

Almost losing you

=This was a request sent to me anonymously, Hopefully this did the request justice. spoilers for the 2.7 archon quest=

———————————————————————————————————–

In all the years you’ve known him, you always knew he was strong. You’ve watched him fight the demons of bygone gods before after all. Being a warrior was second nature to him, and being a spear that protected Liyue from the past was his duty. But often you wonder if that was always the case, you wondered if at some point in his life.. did he have people who accompanied him?. people close enough to be family? Though you knew he walked the plains as the Sole Yaksha, the last Conqueror, you still wanted to ask but you figured you shouldn’t bother him with something so Trivial. You were his partner yes, But you knew Xiao wasn’t one to bring up the past.

Keep reading

Almost losing you

=This was a request sent to me anonymously, Hopefully this did the request justice. spoilers for the 2.7 archon quest=

———————————————————————————————————–

In all the years you’ve known him, you always knew he was strong. You’ve watched him fight the demons of bygone gods before after all. Being a warrior was second nature to him, and being a spear that protected Liyue from the past was his duty. But often you wonder if that was always the case, you wondered if at some point in his life.. did he have people who accompanied him?. people close enough to be family? Though you knew he walked the plains as the Sole Yaksha, the last Conqueror, you still wanted to ask but you figured you shouldn’t bother him with something so Trivial. You were his partner yes, But you knew Xiao wasn’t one to bring up the past.

Keep reading

1 through 3 out of 7 : xiao and zhongli

(do not tag as ship 🔪)

𓆩 ☆ 𓆪 . . 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐚 !

𓆩 ★ 𓆪 . . xiao x reader ⁝ wc. 1.2k ⁝ fluff to angst

𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔, orders given by the geo archon himself.

zhongli saw how his eyes sparkled when he looked at you, when you smile too hard and your eyes crease and crinkle, when you laugh a little too hard at his bluntness and you lean against his chest for support.

it will only end in disaster, zhongli once warned. believe me, i am simply looking out for you.

but what did he know?

xiao wasn't a good person, he was quite aware of that. he was like the moon, he only brought light upon the darkness situations. but you, he thought, you were definitely the sun.

"yeah, that sounds about right," you hummed when he brought it up, earning a tilt of the head and squinted eyes from xiao. 

"what do you mean?" his eyes fluttered when you started to kiss the now visible part of his jaw, before he scrunched his eyebrows and forced them open.

"people can't stand to look at the sun. it's too bright, annoying. the moon is quiet and beautiful," you kissed him on the lips, once, twice, thrice. i love you. you pressed your lips against his gemstone before pulling back to look into his crystalline amber eyes. "do you know how many pray to the moon each and every night, thanking it for it's light and beauty?"

"the moon," he questioned, bringing a hand to not-so subtly cover up his fiery cheeks. "but why not a god?"

you chuckled and cupped his cheek, gently swiping across his freckle as if it were dirt that could be wiped away. "the gods are nothing compared to your beauty, my moon."

"if... if i am your moon, that would make you my sun, no?" xiao swallow a lump in his throat, his heart beating all too quick from him to focus on anything other than your eyes, or hands, or how close you were. unable to focus on anything other than you.

"indeed it does."

xiao kissed his teeth and tore his gaze from you, albeit reluctantly. the glaze lilies suddenly became of interest to him.

if you were his sun, that would mean you were just a measly little star, right? just a burning ball of gas. and he, apparently to you, was the moon. a natural satellite that shined a light upon billions, something people pray to. 

and you're just a star. 

you're so much more than that.

you're so compassionate towards him, not to mention how devoted you are. you're amorous in his eyes, dreamy and unreal. you were an angel, but you weren't. because angels and heaven and a holy cloud space was all fictionalised story to xiao. his life was this, an adeptus. his life was you.

he would say you're perfect, but you aren't. he has seen you lash out, and bark meaningless and empty insults at him only to apologize right after. he has seen you sob and sniffle and bleed. perfection is so quick to bore, he thinks. especially when your imperfections are more beautiful when you show them to him as a whole, when you trust him with all it. all of you.

"you're more than a star." xiao admits on a cloudy night, hands laced together while the scent of rain and qingxin flowers poisons his senses.

"hm?"

"a couple months ago," he coughed into his hand, golden band fading into a mere rusty yellow in the dark of the night. "you said i was your moon and you were my sun. but what is the sun but a star?"

you blinked at him, before creasing your eyes and giggling, your smile widening with every second he looked at you. "you're right. the sun is just a star." 

you sit up and dangle your legs off of qingyun peak, instantly alerting xiao to straighten up next to you. "stars are most beautiful when they explode. they reach the end of their lifetime and burst into this magnificent shockwave of light. it's breathtaking."

"a supernova." xiao recognises. you nod, squeezing his hand a little bit tighter.

"one day i'm gonna explode. and then, it's gonna be absolutely enthralling. fucking angelic, i tell you." you laugh, a sound xiao could and would die happily listening to. "i will be angelic when i die."

mortals die, xiao is more then aware than that. he has had dozens die in his hands, more often than he can count. he isn't always there on time. it's never your fault, you would tell him, and he would agree. he cannot be there for every beck and need liyue has. you taught him that he has concerns and needs, too.

this time, however, was definitely his fault.

just a moment too late, he was. time had slipped through fingers. you had slipped through his fingers.

he could've been quicker. he could've been there. he could've taken the hit. you couldn't. 

a low blow has been taken on you, a harbinger's blade had sliced straight through your stomach. and he was too late. he was to blame.

"no, no no no no no." this couldn't be. his spouse was not leaving him. you could get through this. he'll take you to that one pharmacist, what was his name again? baihua, baizhong? whatever the hell it was.

he was doing everything in his power to save you. he was ripping off articles of clothing from both himself and you, attempting to soak up the blood. your dainty hand grabbed his wrist, shaking. 

"it's okay," no it wasn't. "i'm okay with dying like this. with you." but he was not. he wanted you. he needed you.

he shook his head and drew blood from his lip until iron filled his mouth, choking on his sobs. you nodded in contrast, allowing tears to fall. "it is. because xiao, when you live for somebody, you are prepared to die."

your words were hushed, like a child's secret. like a teenagers first kiss with their highschool sweetheart, vowing to not tell a soul only to gush about it to your friends later.

he was afraid. he didn't want to lose you. he pulled you into a tighter embrace, hugging what was left of you and squeezing the remaining oxygen in your lungs.

"please. i can't. not without you. please, please, please." he sobbed. tears mixed in with the harsh rain that punched at his skull. he was the saddest little baby in all of liyue.

he kept kissing you, savouring your taste even if all he got was blood and salt. you kissed back, light and almost unconscious, like how used to kiss him during early mornings. he watched your eyelids grow heavy and he felt how your body went limp. he squeezed you harder and begged, pleaded, prayed. barbatos, rex lapis, raiden shogun, tsarsita, anybody. not my darling. not my love. not yet.

"i told you so." a disembodied voice spoke,  thick of pity, yet so low and flat. 

the glass broke. xiao sobbed, and screamed into your shoulder. he couldn't breathe. he didn't want to, if it meant he would have to live without you. 

you said it would be fucking angelic when you died. you lied to him, looking straight into his eyes and said it would be enthralling. yet, when he looks at you now, all he can see is the devil's work.

zhongli approached him and hugged him gently, a father's embrace. he was so cold compared to you. you were so warm and welcoming.

you were his sun, but now all you were is a supernova. 

☄︎. *. ⋆ BLIZZARD REASSURANCE•°. *࿐

➵@_ahblue_ on twt for art!

➵ In which a certain adepti has a meaningful snow day with his sweet [Y/N] and getting the reassurance he needs.

➵fem!chubby!reader with she/her pronouns!

➵warnings: none just pure fluff with a sprinkle of jealous [y/n]

➵ unedited again because I’m lazy but I’ll do it eventually ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

I’m In Love With You - 1975

0:09 -〇───── 4:22

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𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌: 1,123

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

The winds were becoming more and more colder as winter finally arrived.

The soft snowflakes nibbling onto people’s rosy cheeks, the winds making some people’s eyes begin to water but nonetheless, it felt nice for the people of Liyue.

Xiao continued to keep his guard up and his attention to the people of the beautiful region, but his gaze continued to flutter over to his friends that were having a blast playing with the snow.

He saw Hu Tao throwing a snowball onto Zhongli’s head making him sigh but still continued to pay his attention to the younger funeral home owner.

His gaze trailed over to Chongyun and his aunt Shenhe who were making Xinqiu into a snowman. He saw the concentration on Shenhe’s pale soft face as her tongue stuck out in the corner as she worked her magic on making the best snowman in existence.

Then his eyes landed on qiqi and Xiangling as they were both making snow angels with Xinyan and Beidou on the hill in front of a house.

Ganyu and Keqing were both sipping tea with ningguang, trying to keep warm as their soft eyes kept an eye on everyone as well but regardless relaxation and comfort were evident in their forms.

And finally, his eyes landed on his lover who was belly flopping into the snow with pure happiness taking over her beautiful face.

She giggled as Hu Tao jumped onto her, giving her a tight hug as they both rolled around in the soft cold snow.

“It’s quite beautiful isn’t it?” Looking over, he saw Missy, the daughter of the famous Jifang, looking at him with a soft smile and handing him a cup of tea.

“Yeah. It is.” He answered shortly as he returned his eyes back to [Y/N] who was now chomping down on clean fresh white snow.

He saw her nose began to get a bit leaky but she laughed and continued to talk with her best friend in anticipation.

“You should be taking a break, Xiao. We’re all safe here, there’s no need to worry now.” She placed her hand on his, making him tense up as he stared back at her with shock lingering in his eyes.

He felt his cheeks begin to heat up, not because he was blushing from the touch, but from how embarrassing this must’ve been. He was only used to his [Y/N]’s touch but he now knew why he only liked her touch.

He quickly retracted his hands back and cleared his throat, looking over to see [Y/N] looking at him in suspicion.

He looked at his shoes as Missy began to speak again.

“Remember that one blizzard we all were together like today and had that huge snowball fight?Was truly one of my favorite memories.”

He nodded agreeing with her but his eyes looked up at the sky in concern.

“Looks like a blizzard is coming. Best we all return home safely.”

“Hmm.” Missy nodded and bit her lip in irritation as the whole group began to regroup to head back into the city to head home.

Before he could even register what was going on, she quickly placed her lips on his cheek in a peck and made her way back to her friends giggling.

He placed his hand where her lips were and began to feel warm on his face as he tried to wipe off her kiss before he turned around to see [Y/N] looking at him annoyed.

“Look it’s not what you th-”

She placed her hands out to him and smiled but he knew she was deeply hurt from what had just happened in front of her.

“I understand, my love. I heard and saw everything.” He opened his mouth to speak, but no words flowed out of his mouth as he wished and just stared at her pretty face as she wiped her nose from the cold with a cloth.

“I believe we should go home now...before it gets worse out here hm?” She spoke with tenderness and warmth in her voice. To give him some sense that everything was alright but there would be things they would need to speak about when they reach home.

He sighed, taking her hand gently into his and they both mad their way home. Silently.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

He laid on his side of his bed, looking blankly at the wall as he waited for [Y/N] to come to sleep, thoughts swarming his mind every second.

Is she upset? Is she mad at me? Will she leave me?

But all those thoughts washed away when he felt her shuffle closer to him, tugging him to hold her so they both could sleep in each others arms like always.

“Are you mad at me?” He finally spoke, worry laced in his voice as he nervously bit his lip waiting in anticipation for her response.

“Of course not. I trust you, Xiao. I know you wouldn’t do something like that to me, so no. I could never be mad at a situation like that knowing the truth.”

He let a sigh of relief out, making her chuckle and kiss his cheek repeatedly to truly show she wasn’t upset with him.

“But I am with miss pissy missy. Next time I see her face I’m gonna chop her toes off and shove them down her throat.”

A laugh erupted from his mouth, making him try his hardest to cover his lips but more laughs came out even more making her laugh as well.

“I’m so in love with you.” She spoke finally as the both of them calmed down.

He felt a huge rush of happiness fill his belly again. Even with all the compliments and constant reassurance he gets from her everyday, he still continued to become extremely shy and confused.

He was an adepti and his karmic debt weighing him down all the time and him feel unworthy of anyone’s attention, but knowing he had something, someone, who would be there waiting for him, cheering him on, gave him enough courage that he could continue to do good and slowly but surely heal.

Now he had a reason to live and fight everyday.

The two of them slept comfortably as the snow storm began, but no worries were shown on their faces as they held one another in content.

His [Y/N] was all he needed.

ᯓ✿ hurts to put in words

ˋ°•*⁀➷ anemo boys realizing they’ve fallen out of love with you

ˋ°•*⁀➷ venti, xiao, kaedehara kazuha, shikanoin heizou, wanderer x gn! reader

₊˚ angst!! very angst!! established (toxic) relationship, small amount of violence, cheating, mentions of alcohol

ᯓ✿ VENTI

it’s not like the anemo archon really knows his way around love despite having lived for thousands of years. for him, it was as simple as the spark between the two of you had faded. he had grown apathetic towards you, even emotionless at times. it wouldn’t take a genius to realize what was going on. the love that once resided in his eyes when he looked at you was replaced with a look of pain. he didn’t know how to leave a relationship, but he doesn’t want to hurt you more than this drawn-out and dead romance already has. he’d find himself sipping on some wine, reminiscing the time before the love had faded. he misses those days, but he couldn’t force himself to fall for you again.

ᯓ✿ XIAO

he swore to protect you, but his devotion only weighed more heavily on his psyche as time went by. what was once pure love and passion became hurt. it stung to meet your eye, even more so when you cleaned and bandaged the wounds he may have sustained in battle. he told himself it was to protect you from getting hurt, forcing himself to shut down his emotions and subsequently kill his love for you with his bare hands. playful banter was replaced with arguments in which so many hurtful things were hurled at each other. sometimes he really did look at you with pure hate in his eyes, regarding you as nothing more than a nuisance and hinderance to his job of protecting the people of liyue.

ᯓ✿ KAEDEHARA KAZUHA

the various things he had written for you would gather dust in his room, having gone to waste as his whirlwind romance ended silently. he realized he no longer loved you when you kissed him and he felt nothing. his heart had once fluttered whenever he was near you, but those butterflies in his stomach had simply fluttered away. he’d find himself wondering if it was love at all, choosing to categorize it as a temporary infatuation to justify his growing apathy towards you. he’s quite literally free as the wind, so it wouldn’t take much to simply leave. he’s not going to force himself to be with you when he feels nothing. the love had simply faded with no rhyme or reason.

ᯓ✿ SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

he’d spend more time at work when he realizes he’s fallen out of love. the excuse for avoiding you is that he’s just busy with work, when in reality he’s often just pacing around his office, figuring ways to break up with you painlessly. whenever he’d say he loves you, it was strained and forced, obvious that he didn’t mean it. he had loved you at one point, but his forcing himself to still be affectionate despite having fallen out of love with you is simply exhausting. it’s all he could do to avoid you and the way you hadn’t seemed to stop loving him. maybe he’d start seeing other people behind your back and fall for someone else the same way he had with you.

ᯓ✿ WANDERER

he’s the only one who’s blunt about it. he’d simply tell you that he doesn’t love you anymore with disgust in his eyes. he doesn’t have it in him to be nice, and you had known that when you started dating him. it took so long for him to open up to you and begin being affectionate, but it had simply faded and been replaced with distaste and words that sting when they come out of his mouth. he had never said he loved you, but he at least acted like it sometimes. nowadays, his affection was replaced by disgustingly blunt and mean comments that seem to be true. he had simply been betrayed too many times to truly love anyone again, and you were the prime example of a failed attempt to love.