Latin. I Fucking Hate Latin.

Latin. I fucking hate Latin.

No, I actually don't, but I hate having to study it.

Why do I have to know the future infinitive passive?

What??? Why?

My heart is hurting and I feel like he doesn't care right now. But I also know that I am wrong. He does care and he has his own life.

I don't want to overwhelm him, I don't want to be too much. And that's okay for me. I can love the normal amount. Or at least try to.

The rain is making things better. It's calming me. But I still wish we could cuddle.

It's hard reassuring myself that he still likes me because It's hard for me to like myself. And that's okay. I just have to remember all the good things and the love I felt then.

I just haven't fully learned yet to let go. To let him be.

Maybe I should try not texting him as long as possible to give him some space??

Tw: sh

Strong urge to cut open my lip. Also the rest of my skin, but mostly just my lip. I also want to sew myself back together after I rip myself apart. Like, literally.

I am so confused?

Sometimes I forget that I am a whole person. Like, with feelings and experiences.

I don't have to feel only one thing at a time. I am a complex person and I can feel as much and as deeply as I can.

I hate being a boy on his period.

I hate the hormones and the pain and the cravings and the dysphoria. It's all shit.

Why am I craving cheese? Why does it feel like my guts are tangled up in knots? Why do I even have to get a period? I don't want to birth children.

Fuckkkkkk

Tw: sh

Sudden urge to cut myself open...

Blade beside me I'm just side eying it...

I want to feel anything else than this...

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!