Crazybishthoughts - Dissociative Diaries - Tumblr Blog

Dissociating is a lot like being high or drunk, except you get none of the happy giddy feelings, but all of the "what the fuck is going on" and "where the fuck am I" feelings. And you don't get to decide when it happens, or when it starts, or when it stops, and you get no say in how intense it'll be. You could be at work, or the store, or driving, or at doing something and it will just hit you and won't go away, and there's nothing you can do about it. And then a hour, a day, a week or months go by and you loose that time and yourself entirely, and become someone else. And this amnesia like feeling occurs and the anxiety and panic kick in to try and scramble the pieces to make sense of it..

I’m here but I’m not.. it’s as if I’m floating. But not in the good way, maybe I’m drowning? 🤔💭 anxiety. Mania. Panic. All these emotions spirialing through me the past few days.. I’ve isolated. Gone distant. Definitely been in some kind of zone. I’m here but I’m gone. 😕😏😣honestly I’m not really sure who’s here at the moment. So bare with me while I float on through this wave of emotions. 😔

I'm fuckinh dying on the inside.

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

👽🙎🏼‍♀️🩷

Literally my type >>

The goal is recovery. The only thing you know is your past. During hard moments; prioritize, meditate, breathe, journal, yogi, literally stretching can have you feeling a mil x’s better.

Prioritize mindfulness, stop complaining<- pay attention to your thoughts. Dont forget to drink some water. And if you find yourself in a position that you can’t go on, figure a way out.

“I want a bond so tight that even on bad terms u still run to me 1st.”

— Unknown

Your soul knows. It will literally tell you when it's time to start a new chapter of your life. Trust it.

Sometimes I think of killing myself.

How the end would be so nice..

How the darkness would swallow me up,

And how the numbness would suffice

My need for all the voices of the feelings,

That constantly keep me reeling..

To softly slow to a hush.

As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush..

How wonderful it would be,

To have that powerful silence.

Not even grasshoppers would bother

To wake me.

My cells would stop dividing.

My brain would stop the lying.

Myself would stop denying..

What I truly want.

But but but

This is just a reckless fantasy,

A way to elude one’s own reality.

Because as I sit here on the floor.

Tears drip drip dropping..

I realize there’s those who care for me more.

Cherish me more.

Love me more.

Than I love my own self..

The crickets chirp..

Time to pick yourself up off the floor. 💫

Depersonalization is just brutal. It leaves you feeling empty, confused and hurt. It takes you in circles over and over again. One minute you swear you’re getting better, you feel like you’re starting to connect with the world and yourself again. Then, the next minute you’re back to feeling distressed and disconnected. It’s like you never know what to believe or trust. Because no matter what you do, none of it truly changes anything .. you’ll always be stuck in this loop 😭 I’m just so tired of being this way..

Heard this before 😂

www.changingthemood.com

Witches Grimoire Aesthetic

You loved her vividness.

She loved your darkness.

You admired her strength.

She embraced your weakness.

You wiped her tears of happiness.

She mourned your tears of sadness.

And when you saw her flaws,

You suddenly changed.

Dismissing the fact that she first loved your imperfections

Above all your lovable complexions.

It is no coincidence that this generation suffers from so much emotional distress... we have forgotten how to love ourselves and each other. The world suffers from hate, anger and chaos. My heart hurts for our children being brought up in this now cruel world. I want to teach my children that it's okay to be open to connections and not to be scared to get close to people, this life is to small for hate, for anger, for greed and chaos. Instead of placing flaws and blames, use all just in general in the nation, in the world need to just learn to love more and hate less. It's sickening everything going around is in front of our eyes but media just puts blinders up so Americas don't pay attention. Wake up!! Like why hate.. gah. Okay end of tangent. Sorry!

I love company..

In the form of anxious thoughts

I am less lonely.

Accompanied by twenty screaming voices..

Tearing at my every inch of flesh,

Pouring pain into my veins,

Crying is good for the soul,

They laugh in union,

As I lie lonely in my bed,

Hoping someone will find me,

Bruised and broken,

And take me into their arms,

Hold me like a child,

But you are too grown to feel such things,

These voices whisper, licking blood

Carefully off their fingers,

Spikes poke at my sides leaving no room,

For me to move or breathe,

I am slowly dying

And yet I tell you I am fine,

For if I were to ever admit,

That this is how I truly feel

My demons would take form

No longer shadows but figures

Ready to take me whole..