The Mun Is Presented With An [offering]

The mun is presented with an [offering] 

An Asvine P36 Piston Filling Fountain Pen, with a complimentary bottle of dark crimson "Writer's Blood" Diamine ink.

Listen, Writer's Blood is quite possibly the BEST INK OF ALL TIME. So if anyone is considering trying out a fountain pen? Do it. Do it. Get a cheapie fountain pen and get a bottle of Writer's Blood and indulge in the sweet sweet goodness. It's the only ink I have actually finished multiple bottles of. It's so smooth, it shades beautifully on the right paper, it has a subtle golden sheen sometimes, it looks like blood in the pen but a sweet soft purplish-red (blood with way too much wine in it; ie, writer's blood) on the page, and it is just. so. good! SO GOOD.

It's harder to use with a dip pen because it's just so wet, you need really good paper (Unison brand composition books, made in Vietnam, are AMAZING and affordable), but you can use it with a dip pen too, if you want to feel really extra.

Writer's Blood is amazing and this ask made me smile so much, thank you!

To be fair, most Goetia don't seem to have much experience with dating. Most of them had their marriages arranged when they were kids.

"You know what? You're right," Blitz agreed, before knocking back the rest of his drink and hopping down off the karaoke stage. It was hot and sticky in the bar that night, the air heavy with smoke, the scents of dozens of different kinds of booze, and way too many demonic pheromones. He was absolutely loving it, having an incredible time, but not so much that he couldn't take things seriously.

Blitz slipped out of his leather jacket--fuck, he loved the way the chrome rings on it felt when they rasped along his spines--and hung it over the back of his barstool, then caught the bartender's eye to order another. With that done, he looked back at this rando, considering if he really wanted to get into a talk with him... but sure, fuck it, why not? It wasn't like anything about him and Stolas was private anymore. After Ozzie's, they'd been pretty well known, but after Verosika's? Everyone knew everything, it seemed like, and it was fucking refreshing to run into someone who wasn't tearing him down or insulting Stolas.

"It's not fucking fair, judging Stolas--or Stella--by the standards of people who actually got to choose, who had the chance to develop our own fucked up social skills, but social skills all the same. Stolas was fucking neglected when he was young, and yeah, Paimon can kiss my little red hole and beg me to let him shove his sad little magic marker up there, fuck him for not seeing how fucking great his son was going to be and like, really having his fucking back. But yeah. Yeah. Having your whole life arranged for you, being told you're just like, born to serve but never to choose, powerful but only taught to use the power for cruel whims, never to like, you know, fucking indulge in any of the sparks of fucking altruism or whatever that they might have--cause they do. They do." He was tipsy and he knew it--or maybe drunk--but Blitz felt so damn passionately about this, he didn't want to hush. "Stolas is a good man with a good fucking heart. And I broke it. And he deserved better. He. Deserved. Better. And it's not his fault he's fucking awkward at shit sometimes. He's still the best. The--fuck. The one. And I love him. And fuck anyone who thinks they can drag him in front of me. I will... oh, thanks." He nodded to the bartender, then took a sip of his new drink. "I will fucking fight for him."

Tumblr offered this gif and it feels appropriate xD I LOVE YOU JUUUUDE! Am going to get disowned by the entire dash tonight, nO REGRETS

@doublejango — you WOULD make a cloaca joke. Set the bear traps FOR YOUR ASS ;;

Has Blitzø ever been tracked down by one of the humans he killed? Vengeful sinners out for revenge? 

He absolutely has, and it usually doesn't go well. Thankfully, most of them don't seem to remember him, or seem particularly inclined to come down to Imp City unless they have a damn good reason. Which, one could argue, revenge against the imp that slaughtered you is... but the traffic's a nightmare, there's nowhere to park, and it's not like he can un-deadify you.

But despite all of that, some of them absolutely come and find him. Blitz does his best to make sure they know it was him, that he is the boss, that Moxxie and Millie were just doing their job. Since they almost never see Loona, she doesn't tend to catch much flak, but Blitz will do whatever it takes to draw attention off of his employees and onto himself, hoping to give them time to get the fuck away. And then? He will fight. Hard. Blitz may not have any powers, but he has experience and the will to fight, and I can tell you from my own real life experience that just having the will and the confidence? Can make all the difference. If you're up against a huge opponent, but that person doesn't really have what it takes to dive in and go hard? You actually stand a pretty good chance if you do. I've been in a few fights irl--previous occupation, had hazards, glad to be long since quit of it--and remember always being struck by that. Going in with a hefty serving of confidence matters so much more than being the bigger one sometimes... Not always, but sometimes.

and Blitzx absoultely has that confidence. He fights hard, with everything he has, and even if he can't permanently put a Sinner down without the right kind of weapon, he can hurt them. He can kill them for a while. He can be the torment they thought they escaped when they realized 'oh Pentagram City is kinda nice!' Blitz will turn absolutely vicious, no holds barred, when he needs to.

Most of the time though, some smooth-talking (or nonsensical babbling with a confident smile) helps to cool their temper--especially when he reminds them that hey, you can hunt down the person who took a hit out on you and keep on killing each other and respawning for all eternity! Have fun! Byyyyeee!

Messing around with Stolas' grimoire has some unexpected consequences. In a swirl of magicks and ethereal shrieks, Blitzø is transformed into...a birb! Specifically an owl demon like Stolas himself. What's the first thing he does? 

"Aw, fuck me," Blitz swore, standing up straight and looking down at himself. Where the fuck was his tail? His--oh fuck, he still had a tail, it was just--it was--

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the FUCK?

Covered in feathers, ridiculously tall, he wasn't an imp. He didn't have horns. Glossy black feathers edged with vermillion, a white disc of tiny, tightly-packed feathers for his face, he didn't look like himself at all--but hoooo boy, he could panic like himself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuck." Fumbling his phone out--oh christ on a fucking stick why was it so small?--he sent a handful of texts.

@moxxietude -> Moxxie I turned in2 a fucking bird WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

@ you -> PARAK WTF

@botanikos -> Stols i fukked up and have feathers might have ben fucking w ur book I M SORRY CAN YOU PUT ME BACK i lhave a cloaca tho i guess like we cud uknow wait no sorry long text, short question: HELP?

for @botanikos's sweet Stolas, who deserves to be allowed to sleep in but unfortunately got involved with a gremlin. continued from here, because of reasons

.

"We're just going down to your kitchen, and don't worry, you're gonna love it!" Blitz declared with far, far too much confidence. Deep down, he had the sneaking suspicion that he might have maybe fucked up, and that Stolas might finally kill him... but hey, the chances were good that Stolas would actually love his present, right? So, fuck it! Hashtag Worth it!

He carried him towards the kitchen--and past all of the staff who might normally be going in and out of there. Now, they were all just standing there, some with wide eyes, some looking frustrated, one or two afraid. Their morning routine had clearly been destroyed by whatever Blitz had done--and one of them was tying the majority of Stolas's forks to himself, apparently as some sort of armor.

"I saw it," Blitz declared, "and the poor thing just seemed so stuck. It was squished up in a dumpster on Earth, and I know you're into this shit, so..." Pushing the door open, he carried Stolas through--and up face to face with an extremely large carnivorous plant. Hell had its fair share of them, of course, as did Stolas's palace--but this new plant, while very similar to some of his, wasn't from Hell. A few of his kitchen plants had edged away nervously, scooting as far away as they could get, while the 'rescue' Blitz had brought him sat proudly in the middle of the room, stretching its roots and vines.

At their entrance, the plant quickly wilted, putting on its most feeble, harmless act, just as innocent and helpless as a lamb--as innocent as it could look with one of Stolas's other plants still sticking partially out of its mouth, wiggling feebly.

Blitz set his baby down and hopped over to stand next to the hungry giant, holding his hands out like this was a prize on a game show. "Look! Ain't it great? It's like, exactly what you grow, right?"

The plant snickered under its breath.