BPD Warrior❤️🩹 Graphic Designer👩🏼💻Sharing what I learned from therapy and DBT group, my life, and BPD thoughts.Billie Eilish & Taylor Swift are my FPs
225 posts
Every Day Is Hard, Just Being Awake, Alive, Aware. I Know What I Have To Do To Feel Better, To Feel Good
Every day is hard, just being awake, alive, aware. I know what I have to do to feel better, to feel good in my skin and feel like my life isn’t a waste. Knowing the solution and implementing it are two completely separate things though. That’s what I have the hardest time with. And while I sit around waiting for the motivation to do the healthy things that will bring me closer to stability, or at least a little further from this hopeless feeling and depression, I have to constantly list the people I’d be traumatizing if I took my own life. The impulse is there, daily, hourly, because it’s so overwhelming being an adult human, or just being in general. I can’t picture any future for myself, just this meager existence, so talking myself off the ledge is constant work. I never get to clock out.
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More Posts from Eliserzilber
BPD is watching yourself destroy things, telling yourself you'll never do that again, and then doing it over and over again and the cycle continues for eternity.
FAST
Use this skill to help maintain your self-respect when communicating with others.
F - Be Fair: Avoid judgments and stick to the facts.
A - Don’t Apologize: Assert yourself and ask for what you want. Don’t apologize for making requests, having opinions or disagreeing.
S - Stick to Your Values: Make sure to confidently stick to your truth.
T - Be Truthful: Don’t exaggerate. Don’t lie or act helpless when you aren’t. Dishonesty over time erodes your self-respect.
*More DBT guides here*
It sucks that you have to keep yourself busy to feel okay.
Trigger warning: su1cidal thoughts
I want to love myself. I want to love my life. I want to enjoy things. I want to be able to let go of what doesn’t serve me. I want to be happy, or at the very least be content. But currently the best I can do is hold onto enough mindfulness to follow my crisis plan when I’m holding a pill bottle in my hand.
As my therapist always says, therapy and treatment can only work if you’re alive, and the skills are there to help you stay that way.
Better buried in self-loathing and shame than in the ground, I guess.
speak now week day 5: create something that celebrates individuality and standing up for yourself.
and all you’re ever gonna be is mean