Marauders Era! Regulus Would Love Crime And Mystery Books

marauders era! regulus would love crime and mystery books

modern au! regulus would be a sucker for 00s shows and movies like vampire diaries, gilmore girls or skins. but james would make him watch shows like ofmd or good omens in exchange for having watched with him scary and thriller movies (in those nights james cuddles up closer to regulus because he's sort of a scaredy cat).

marauders era! regulus would love abba but he'll pretend like he doesn't. meanwhile modern au! regulus would still like abba but scream his lungs with lana del rey and mitski.

modern au! regulus would silently judge cringy people while looking directly at their soul until he makes them uncomfortable.

satosugu family mornings!!

gojo is a way too overqualified middle school science teacher and geto runs a piercing shop >:)

regulus felt stupid,

the stupidest man on the world,

everytime the exam season came.

it's not that he was a bad student. he wasn't. he always took notes, kept silent during lectures and studied more than he slept.

he would study for hours with little to no sleep everyday, trying, wanting eagerly, to get better marks than before.

he wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk and wouldn't be calm during those days.

and when it was time, he had only two things that could happen to him, whether he understood every question, or he failed to get half the exam, but would still try.

he would finish the exam and feel like shit. but it didn't just stop there.

he would be the whole day revising what he wrote down, how many mistakes he got and how bad he did.

and then the grades.

he would sit there apparently calm but with his world up site down inside.

a piece of parchet in front of him.

C-

C-

he would look at it at first, then look for mistakes in the professor's correction and then stare at it.

he stared so hard he thought his eyes would fall of.

he stared down at the paper, contained tears, a shaking on his lips and a serious face.

then, he would hear the students who he saw cheating getting praised for their high marks by their teacher.

regulus kept staring down at the paper.

he was so stupid,

even the word stupid was offended of being compared to him.

he wouldn't cry the first times but then the stress, lack of sleep and unreached expectations would drag him down until he felt like he was drowning,

he remembered that feeling again with inferies later.

he was well known in his first years of being the smart one on their year, 'a pleasure to teach' they said. well now he is burnout and nobody looks at him, sees him. and if they do look at him he feels their disappointed glances about his wasted potential.

those two words were always repeated.

how he could be better if he tried, if he put in the effort.

he tried, he has tried, he has tried for seventeen years but still nothing comes from it.

so yeah,

regulus was stupid,

the stupidest creature alive,

so stupid that he failed in everything he tried to accomplish,

from a grade to the lake.

the fact that satoru saw kenjaku disguised as suguru and wanted to smile...

but it wasn't a pure, an innocent nor a sad one.

it was a raw smile, one that showed us how he would've dropped everything that second if suguru was really alive, though he knew he wasn't.

raw in a way that it showed how he wanted to join him, to be with him.

so raw, because those were are his feelings for suguru, raw, possessive, desperate,

as if he is his reason to breathe.

and, after all, he still is.

sitting down in the floor, book between his crossed legs, messy hair from pulling it until it hurt and red scratches through his arms with the shape of his nails, regulus was studying.

he wasn't naturally smart like sirius or enjoyed studying like evan. he was him and that wasn't enough.

not enough for him, not enough for his parents and apparently not enough for sirius.

he would plan a perfect timetable but couldn't stick to it, he wasn't dumb but neither clever. he was in a limbo in between.

always in a grey spot, never declaring his opinions about anything: "if it doesn't affect me, it doesn't matter" he would say. but it did affect him. the pressure of joining the dark Lord, of meeting his parents expectations, and failure.

failure

that word made his insides itch to the point where he would want to take a knife and scratch this guts until it stopped itching.

so there he is, sitting down in the floor next to his bed, book between his legs and eyes surrounded by dark eyebags, with only the sound of his empty stomach making him company.

maybe he should stop trying but he would kill himself before stopping actively to destroy himself.

looking at the roof over his head he would think: "slytherins have a reputation of self preservation but I don't, am I good now for you, sirius?"

regulus was scared.

scared of confronting his parents. scared of being left behind. scared of the world.

scared of opening up to people.

even though he had this though and mean facade he would open up really quick to someone until the point where he was overwhelming.

he just wanted someone to listen to him. and when he thought he found someone he would say all the things that he wanted.

but he was considered too much. he was too much for people to handle.

he was a storm. he was a hurricane of feelings, so when he lost control he knew it was going to end up bad. he knew he was going to bore people around him.

even knowing that, he would vomit all the random information he had. deeply hoping inside of him that people didn't leave him after seeing how he truly was.

how childish, pleaser and lonely he was. how he would keep all his feelings hidden from others. how raw these were.

but each time they would leave him, and each time he would try to avoid these situations again but he couldn't help it.

so yeah.

regulus was scared.

not from the dark, not from death.

regulus was scared

of lost childish dreams of a found family.

regulus was scared

of being completely unbearable and repulsive to others.

he wasn't scared of being alone.

not at all.

he was just scared.

he has been scared all his life.

he has always been scared since

the only thing he could have for sure

and be only his

was fear.