Finding Your Way Back (Part Two)

Finding Your Way Back (Part Two)

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A/N - This is heavier on the Stephen Strange & reader than I planned, oops. Also, thank you for the support on part one of this, I hope y'all like it!

It had been nine months since you’d first disappeared and two months since they'd managed to rescue you. In the two months since you’d been back you had been moved from the hospital into the compound and hadn’t done more than squeeze Bucky’s hand half a month ago.

Just because you were not showing any outward signs of being awake didn’t mean your mind wasn’t active. In fact it was working harder than ever, memories that meant nothing to you took over, faces you didn’t recognise, places you were sure you’d never been.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Sometimes you heard voices, you didn’t register what they were saying most of the time but when you heard the man with the metal arm talk you tried to listen, tried to do what he said but you couldn’t.

He asked, begged you to open your eyes, to say something, just to show him you would be ok and you tried, you really did but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t do anything.

You knew you had a body, could feel the man hold your hand, was it your hand? You could feel his lips move against it as he whispered words not meant for anyone but himself.

Since the day you recognised him as the man with the metal arm and he had called you Y/F/N you had repeated it to yourself everyday, not letting yourself forget it again.

My name is Y/F/N.

-

“Without knowing the damage to her mind, we have no way of knowing just when she will wake up or even if she can. At this point it’s all up to her.” A doctor explained and Bucky just about held his calm, if one more doctor said the same thing to him he was going to explode.

“C’mon there’s got to be something you can do, all this technology’s gotta be good for something.” He said, gesturing around to all the futuristic tech that was in your room.

“I’m sorry, Sergeant Barnes.” Said the doctor before leaving the room.

“Fuck!” Bucky whispered before turning his attention back to you. “Y/N, I know you don’t want to wake up, trust me when they had me it was easy to lose myself in my head too, just let the Soldier take over and not have to deal with it. I know, baby, but you can’t do that. It doesn’t work, all that hurt, all that suffering, it’s just gonna keep building up. You gotta wake up for me, doll, you have to. We can help you, I can help you. Everyone’s here for you just waiting to see those pretty y/e/c eyes again.” Bucky rambled, not sure exactly what he was saying but letting the words out.

When he was met with the same familiar stillness, he let his head rest upon your hand as he mumbled a soft, “please Y/N.”

“I think I may be able to help.” A voice from the doorway said, causing Bucky’s head to shoot up.

There stood Doctor Strange who frowned as he looked over to you. Bucky hadn’t had more than a handful of encounters with the man but he knew the two of you got on great.

“How?” Bucky asked. He refused to get his hopes up just to have them come crashing down when you stayed asleep.

“I can go into her head and upon determining how much damage HYDRA did to her mind I might just be able to break through and communicate with her. Obviously I make no promises but at least we’ll be able to see where her mind is.” Stephen explained as simply as he could when really it was quite a dangerous process. If your mind was completely shattered he could make it even worse by rummaging around, if your mind latched onto him then he was risking his own life.

Stephen hadn’t thought twice before offering.

“Why now?” Bucky asked and it was a fair question considering you’d been asleep for two months.

“I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, I had hoped she would find her way out but it seems she needs some guidance.” Stephen answered honestly. He would have offered to do this the moment you arrived, in fact he had told Tony as much that day, but they decided to give you a chance, see if you could pull through.

“Ok,” Bucky said after a few moments of silence, “ok, you can try.”

Stephen took a seat next to you and gently pressed his fingers to your temple. With a deep breath he closed his eyes and let his mind wander. It wasn’t long before he sat up straighter before going as still as a statue, Bucky watching the process intently.

-

Your mind was a mess, that was the first thing Stephen took note of, a mess but not completely broken. There was still time but not much. If he didn’t get through to you soon then they risked losing you forever as you buried yourself deeper and deeper.

‘Y/N.’ He called out, the word echoing around your mind.

He waited a few moments before trying again.

There was no answer.

‘Y/N, can you hear me? It’s Stephen.’ He tried again and this time something happened.

Before Stephen knew it he was looking at rapidly changing pictures, all of them featured him as your mind tried to make sense of who he was.

‘That’s it, Y/N, remember me.’ Stephen encourage as he watched the flashes of memories.

They soon vanished and Stephen stayed quiet for a few minutes hoping you’d ‘talk’. Much to Stephen’s relief his patience was rewarded.

‘My name is Y/N.’ He heard, the voice was faint but determined.

‘Yes!’ Stephen exclaimed before he could stop himself, ‘yes, your name is Y/N. You’re Y/F/N Y/L/N.’

There was silence again for a long moment before he heard;

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N.’

Stephen couldn’t smile in this form for he didn’t have a physical body, he was just a voice in a head, but if he did have access to his body he’d be grinning from ear to ear.

‘Good job, you’re doing so well for me.’ Stephen praised. ‘Do you know where you are?’

‘With the man with the metal arm.’ You answered after a pause.

‘The man with the metal- you mean Bucky?’ Stephen asked though the answer was obvious.

If you couldn’t remember who Bucky was then Stephen dreaded to think what else had been forgotten.

As soon as the words left him your mind exploded. Stephen braced himself against the onslaught of images that flashed through your mind all of you and Bucky.

There were images of you and Bucky dancing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, there were images of the two of you cuddling in bed, on dates, laughing, crying...images of every moment the two of you had together assaulted your mind.

Distantly Stephen could hear you let out a sound of utter distress but he was so absorbed in the images that he lost himself for a moment.

Finally, the images faded and Stephen came back to himself in time to hear you let out a choked ‘Bucky’.

‘Yes that’s Bucky, you remember him?’ Stephen asked, thankful when you replied with a shaky yes.

‘Bucky’s waiting for you, he’s been waiting for you for quite a long time now. You have to wake up, Y/N.’

It took a long time for you to admit to him you didn’t know how. Stephen sighed, not yet thinking of these consequences of being in your head for too long, eventually when one lives inside their head for as long as you’d had to, it’s only likely that that person forgot that not only is there a whole world outside but also a body dependent on them.

‘That’s ok, we’ll take it easy.’ Stephen said as he began the long process of helping you connect with your body.

-

Bucky continued to watch your practically lifeless form. The doctor had yet to move, it had been an hour and he was in the same position as he had been before, Bucky couldn’t tell if that was a good sign or not.

At the hour and a half mark Tony came in with two mugs filled with coffee, silently taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed after handing Bucky a cup. The room stayed quiet as the two drank their drinks looking from Stephen to you.

“If anyone can help her, it’s him.” Tony told him, his voice quiet but confident.

Bucky didn’t answer for a long while. What was he supposed to say? If Stephen was your only hope and he failed was he just supposed to leave you like this? He couldn’t do that, this couldn’t be your life.

“I know.” Bucky eventually replied. He had faith in Stephen, you trusted him and that was good enough for him. He was thankful for the man who was risking his own, rather powerful, mind to help you.

-

Countless attempts had been made but so far they were pretty unsuccessful. Stephen tried to think about a way to help you but he was quickly running out of ideas.

‘You have to focus, kid, really focus. Take a deep breath and just feel your body.’ Stephen knew how bad you were at mediating when your mind was in the right place, whenever Stephen tried to teach you magic that required an empty mind it took longer than it should have because you struggled to clear your thoughts. Now there were no thoughts but also no understanding of your body.

‘I’m trying.’ You replied, quickly becoming frustrated with the task. Stephen knew he didn’t have long left until you retreated further into your mind, maybe irreversibly.

‘I know you are, you’re doing great. Let’s keep trying.’ But nothing worked, you tried as hard as you could and your body hardly flinched.

Just as you were about to give up you heard the man with the metal arm- no you heard Bucky talking to you.

“Hi baby.” He began before there was a pause. “I don’t know what you and the doctor are up to in that head of yours but I hope he’s helping you, God do I hope he’s helping. I know you trust him but I can’t trust someone completely, not with this, not with you. I wish I could be the one helping you but... you have to listen to him Y/N.” Here you felt Bucky’s hand on your...face?

‘He’s touching your cheek.’ Stephen supplied quietly, feeling the confusion coming from you. ‘Can you feel it?’

‘Yes.’ You replied just as Bucky began to talk again.

“It’s been months since I saw those pretty eyes of yours, doll, since I heard you laugh, since I held you in my arms. Never gonna take that for granted again.” He murmured, letting his thumb brush against your eye.

“Eyes.’ You said, causing Stephen to perk up.

‘Yes, those are your eyes! Open them, Y/N. I believe in you. When you open them Bucky will be right there waiting for you.” Stephen promised.

Your mind fell silent again as you paused before following Stephen’s earlier advice except this time you were able to connect with your body, you could feel your closed eyelids. It took many attempts, it was hard to keep track of time in your mind, but eventually you managed to crack your eyelids open.

-

Bucky watched, frozen, as you slowly pried your eyes open before squinting shut at the harsh light.

“JARVIS.” Tony murmured and immediately the lights dimmed causing you to relax and try opening your eyes again.

Bucky couldn't help but let out a slightly high pitched laugh of disbelief as he looked down at you.

As you were trying to adjust your unfocused eyes, Stephen slowly untangled himself from you before leaving to go back to his own mind. He screwed his eyes shut at the adjustment before opening them and moving his hand from your temple.

“Y/N.” Bucky said, causing you to blink hard before looking at him. It was clear you weren't really seeing him, not yet, as your eyes tried desperately to focus after not being used for months. “Hey doll.” He smiled so widely it was almost painful but he didn’t care. Looking at you, eyes open meant everything to him.

“That’s it, doll, you’re doing so well.” It took a long time and plenty of encouragement but finally, finally, you managed to focus on Bucky.

You saw the man with the metal arm who spoke to you when you were lost, you saw the man who danced with you in the kitchen when everyone else slept, the man who you used to fall asleep next to every night.

The memories were still hazy but you remembered the important parts and that was:

My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N and Bucky Barnes always finds me.

-

Ten months later and you were up and about, still not yet cleared for missions which was understandable because sometimes you had blips in your memory.

For the most part though you were doing ok. You were still adjusting to getting the memories back of your time with HYDRA, the torture they put you through, the people they made you kill…

Bucky helped though, Bucky always helped. He was there every step of the way, through the doctors appointments, the decision to go to therapy, the nights you’d wake up screaming, the nights you sat still feeling numb to the bones. Bucky was there through it all, never once complaining nor leaving your side.

Some days you felt like you could fall apart, some days your memory was so far gone that you only remembered Bucky as the man with the metal arm and some days you remembered everything too clearly.

In the early days of recovery, once you’d remembered you had magic, it had been uncontrollable. The years of training had been completely forgotten and with every nightmare or bad memory your magic reacted as harshly as you felt, trying to protect you from an evil that was no longer there.

Stephen was more patient than he had ever been as he sat with you, day after day, helping you to relearn how to control your magic. Thankfully it didn’t take too long and as your memory started to come back so did the control.

You looked up when you heard the front door open and close, smiling widely as it meant Bucky was back.

He had to go on a mission, one relating to HYDRA. It was his first mission away since you had woken up and though he hadn’t wanted to go you eventually talked him into it. They needed his knowledge on HYDRA to deal with this particular base and you also knew how much he wanted to punch some HYDRA agents.

You had been doing better recently so it wasn’t hard to argue that you’d be ok for a few days. Besides, the compound still had most of the avengers in it as only Steve, Natasha, Sam and Bucky went on the mission.

“Hey doll.” Bucky greeted as he came into the bedroom, making his way over to you before leaning down to kiss you softly. “God, I missed you.” He mumbled against your lips before kissing you again.

“I missed you too, baby.” You replied, running your fingers through his hair. “Go get cleaned up.”

Bucky was quick to shower and dress before he was joining you in bed, pulling you close so that your head rested on his chest, your arm wrapping around him as JARVIS automatically turned the lights off.

“How was the mission?” You asked quietly, reluctant to break the peacefulness that had settled around you.

“We got what we needed,” Bucky said, matching your tone, “I don’t think any amount of blowing up bases is going to feel like enough though.”

“They’re not worth it. I just want to focus on getting better and being here with you.” You said as you turned to face him, smiling up at him softly causing the crease in between his eyebrows to fall away.

“You’re doing so well, baby, I’m so damn proud of you.” Bucky said, the sincerity of his words almost too much for you. You leaned up to kiss him, putting everything words couldn’t say into it.

“I couldn’t have done it without my man with the metal arm.” You laughed softly as you pulled away causing Bucky to grin down at you.

“I love you so much, doll.” Bucky whispered in the dark as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

You shifted so that your head was resting on his chest again before replying.

“I love you too, Buck, more than you’ll ever know.”

Falling asleep with Bucky was the safest you had ever felt, no amount of torture could ever erase this feeling.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic and Bucky Barnes always finds me.'

I Can't Lose You Again - Part Two

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You felt numb as you sunk down, letting your head rest against your knees as your eyes fell shut. The harsh reminder that he wasn’t your Loki, no matter how much you wished he was, stung. Your Loki wouldn’t have ever left you here, especially not with these people.

“Just grab her and let’s go!” You heard somebody snap. You didn’t see Mobius shake his head, glaring as he dismissed the hunter.

A few moments later Mobius knelt down in front of you but stayed silent. He felt sorry for you, he really did. Watching all those months you stayed silent, stayed loyal to Loki’s you didn’t even know just because of the man you knew...he really did sympathise with you.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered before he could say anything.

“Why are you sorry?” Mobius asked, honestly confused. If anything it should’ve been him apologising, he never should’ve taken Loki to you, there was a reason he hadn’t met you in 2012.

“I told you you could trust him.” Was your broken reply. As you looked up at him, Mobius’ frown deepened as he saw the tears in your eyes.

“This isn’t on you.” Mobius told you firmly, “He isn’t the man you know yet, he’s still struggling for control and trying to find his way.” The Loki you knew had years of character development, this Loki, well this Loki hadn’t had a chance yet.

This Loki, for all intents and purposes, was a villain.

“He’s just trying to help.” You told Mobius. You did believe that, you had too, the look on Loki’s face as he had mere seconds to figure out his next move was clear. If he waited for you then he risked Mobius stopping him and then he wouldn’t find out the Variants plan. Logically you knew Loki had made the right move but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“I know.” Mobius replied honestly. He knew that Loki had grown to care for you, probably more than he wanted to admit, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with that yet. “C’mon we have to go, we’ll figure something out.” Mobius assured you as he stood up holding a hand out for you.

Despite the situation he couldn’t help but smile as you took the offered hand without flinching.

-

When you walked through the doorway and into the TVA you were greeted with chaos. Which made sense when you thought about it, two Loki’s loose together...it was a recipe for disaster.

“Y/N, I need you back in the holding cell whilst this is dealt with.” Mobius said calmly as he turned to you.

“What?” You scoffed, “you’re just going to lock me up whilst Loki is out there with her?” You spat, you refused to sit idly by twiddling your thumbs whilst Loki could be in danger. He might’ve left you here but you’d be damned if you left him.

“I know, ok, I know you want to help but you're too close to this. If we bring you, we risk you running off with them too. I already lost one variant, I can’t lose another.” Mobius explained and whilst you understood his position you couldn’t just stay here.

Obviously there was no way to convince Mobius to let you come, naturally he was right of course, the first chance you got you’d go with Loki. It was never a hard decision when it came to what side to pick when it came to Loki. So instead you nodded.

“Fine, I’ll go sit in my cell.” You muttered before marching off in the direction of the holding cells.

Mobius watched you go with a frown, he wanted you to come, if anyone could talk Loki down it’d be you even if he didn’t know you too well yet but he couldn’t risk it. He knew he’d be in a world trouble as it was, losing you wasn’t an option.

“All Minutemen to armory. Protect the timeline.” Mobius shook his head as the voice repeated the message and quickly sent everyone on their way.

-

Tracking any Loki wasn’t hard, all you had to do was follow the trail of dead bodies. Unfortunately as the trail of bodies ended so did any signs of the Loki’s. Minutemen ran past you as you leaned against the wall, resting your head with a sigh.

“Where are you, Loki?” You whispered.

“Variant!” Somebody exclaimed and you looked up to see Judge Renslayer firing up her pruning device.

“Whoa, hey, I was just going back to my holding cell.” You told her carefully, raising your hands to surrender. You saw firsthand what those batons did to people, no way were you going to let yourself be struck by it.

“You’ve been protecting those Loki’s since we first arrested you.” She snarled, walking closer to you. You tried to move but she had you cornered.

Well shit.

“Listen…” You began but she cut you off.

“No you listen, you’ve been a pain since the beginning. All that loyalty to a man who couldn’t care less about you, I mean, he ran away the first chance he got.” You shook your head, trying not to let the words get to you.

“Yeah, I did, and I’d do it again and again.” You said whilst shooting her a cocky grin, probably not the best course of action but hey, she looked like she was going to kill you either way. “That Loki deserves somebody in his corner, his whole life living in the shadows, never good enough, so yeah I might not know this Loki and he might not know me but I’m going to protect every secret he has and if I die for that,” you said, pausing to chuckle before smiling proudly, “then I’ve done right by him and every other Loki Variant out there who had nobody on their side.”

“Pathetic.” She said before raising the baton. You looked her in the eyes, showed no fear as she came closer and closer to you, just as she was about to touch you-

“Y/N!” Mobius yelled, causing Renslayer to drop the device quickly and turn around just as Mobius rounded the corner. “What the hell?”

“Lost another Variant, Mobius?” Renslayer said as she roughly took a hold of your bicep, nails digging into the skin as she dragged you to Mobius all but throwing you into his arms.

“What happened?” Mobius asked, not dignifying the question with an answer.

“What do you think happened, Mobius?” She snapped, “they left, together, and because the theory of apocalypses was right I don’t know how we’re supposed to find them.”

“I’ll fix it.” Mobius promised before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the judge.

-

“Champagne?” The attendant asked, causing Loki and Sylvie to look up.

“Ah yes. Thank you very much.” Loki said as he grabbed the glass and drank from it, despite all the odds they were finally headed in the right direction. “To the end of the world.”

“A pity the old woman chose to die, don’t you think?” Loki asked.

“She was in love.” Sylvie answered simply.

“She hated him.” Loki shot back but Sylvie smiled at him.

“Maybe love is hate.” Loki quickly conjured up a quill and paper before jotting the quote down causing Sylvie to roll her eyes, unamused by the god across from her.

“Oh piss off.” Loki couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, it was a strange feeling to be so free.

“So,” Loki began, “on the subject of love, is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?”

“Yeah there is actually,” Sylvie said with a serious tone, “Managed to maintain quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another.”

“And with charm like that, who could resist you?” Loki chuckled.

“Well, people are quite willing in the face of certain doom.” Sylvie smiled.

“I'm sure they are.”

“It was only ever just to keep me going. How about you? You're a prince. Must've been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince.”

“A bit of both.” Loki admitted with a smile, “I suspect the same as you. But, nothing ever…” Loki trailed off.

“What is it?” Sylvie asked with a tilt of her head.

“All my life there was nothing ever really real, you know? But when the TVA arrested me I found a woman, a woman who remained loyal to a dead man and Variants of that dead man. A woman who let herself be tortured for however long just because she loves me. I haven’t met her yet, not properly, not how I’m supposed to but I believe what I have with her is, what I will have with her…it’s the most real thing in all the realms.” Loki confessed. He barely knew you but he couldn’t ignore the ache in his chest when he remembered the look on your face as he left you behind.

“Even now you’ve started falling for her, haven’t you?” Sylvie asked with a hint of a smile.

“I do believe I have but I ruined it. I left her there as I followed you.” Loki told her, looking down at his lap with a frown.

“Nah, if she put up with you until you died then I’m sure she’s had to deal with worse than this.” Sylvie told him and he couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly at that.

“I hope my future self treated her better than that but I suspect you’re probably right.”

-

Mobius took you to the control panel room, everyone had orders to look for anything out of the ordinary, any slight shift to indict the two Variants were together. You had been placed at one of the empty desks, a screen in front of you showing you the timeline.

“Please wait here whilst I talk to Ravonna.” Mobius told you and this time you just nodded, Loki was gone and you had no idea where. There was no point in running.

It had been hours since they’d gone and Mobius had spent most of that time giving orders out whilst biting his lip anxiously. You hadn’t spoken much or left his side, content to let him do the work so long as it resulted in you finding Loki

Mobius gave you a long look before leaving you alone, no doubt warning the hunters to keep an eye on you.

You sighed as you looked at the screen knowing how useless this was. The two Variants knew how to stay hidden, hide out in apocalypses and the TVA can’t find you, why they thought they could find them now was beyond you.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before Mobius was back and tapping your shoulder, gesturing for you to follow him.

“What did the judge say?” You asked when the two of you were alone.

“The time keepers are on our side but I can’t get access to C-20.” He told you. He wanted to tell you that the hunter was dead, he didn’t know why but it didn’t sit right with him. Instead he shook his head.

“Wait, why? She could know something important, she kept saying something was real.” You said, you had seen the woman yourself as the Minutemen hauled her off.

“She’s too far gone.” Was Mobius’ reply.

You didn’t reply but there were so many thoughts flying around your head and you could feel the start of a headache approaching.

Something about the TVA hadn’t seemed right when you were first brought it and it was explained to you and as every minute passed your doubt grew. The Hunter, C-20, was coherent when she was brought in, sure she was in shock but she was aware.

It didn’t make sense.

“So what happens now?” You asked Mobius watching as he collapsed into his chair.

“I don’t know.”

-

“I remember Asgard.” Sylvie confessed after moments of silence passed as Loki sat next to her, “Not much, but I remember. My home, my people, my life. The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief. And as soon as that created a big enough detour from the Sacred Timeline, the TVA showed up, erased my reality, and took me prisoner. I was just a child. I escaped. Stole a TemPad and I ran for a long, long time, which really sucked. Everywhere and every-when I went, it caused a nexus event.” Loki frowned as Sylvie continued her story. “Sent up a smoke flare. Because I'm not supposed to exist. Until, eventually, I figured out where to hide. And so that's where I grew up, the ends of a thousand worlds and now...that’s where I’ll die.”

Loki had no words, the two of them sat in silence staring ahead as everything fell to pieces around them.

“Not long now.” Sylvie said. “Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact we’re destined to lose?” She asked in defeat.

“No.” Loki answered immediately, “We may lose, sometimes painfully, but we don’t die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!” Loki praised, smiling as Sylvie smiled.

Loki reached out and took her hand in his.

-

It wasn’t long before you were back in the control room, looking at a bunch of monitors that had yet to change.

“Alarms should be going off for the magnified nexus threshold if somebody steps on the wrong leaf.” Mobius said as the two of you joined Hunter B-15.

“Wherever they are I’m not sure anything survives.” Was her reply causing your eyes widened, your hand reaching out to grip Mobius’.

Mobius looked at you in concern, seeing the tears in your eyes and the hold on his hand was tight but you didn’t look away from the screen, it was like you thought you could will it into changing if you stared at it hard enough.

“Yeah, don't underestimate them.” Mobius said, watching as you let out a mix of a sob and a laugh.

He turned to Hunter B-15, whispering quietly, “You see anything down at Roxxcart?”

“They’re gone.” She answered, “Leaping across time, plotting their next massacre.”

“We got something.” One of the analysts said breaking the silence and you all looked at the screen he was at.

Mobius laughed, “That’s not someone stepping on the wrong leaf. You ever seen a branch like that?”

“No.” Hunter B-15 answered as they got a lock on the location and it wasn’t long before a team of hunters were ready as Loki and Sylvie stepped through the two orange doorways.

“Y/N.” Mobius warned just before they came through, “go to the holding cell, wait for me there.”

“You’re kidding right-” You began but he interrupted you.

“Y/N!” He yelled before looking to one of the hunters, “take her.”

“Mobius!” You yelled, struggling against the man holding you. Unfortunately it was no use and before you knew it you were being tossed into the holding cell.

“Fuck!” You yelled as you picked yourself up off the floor, kicking one of the chairs as you did.

It was useless to try the door, you knew it was, but it didn’t stop you from walking over and slamming your fists against the metal repeatedly, not stopping even after your knuckles started to bleed.

-

“Loki.” Loki’s head snapped away from where the doorway had just disappeared to see you stood in a different doorway.

You looked so pretty, your hair was braided as you wore clothes that were definitely from Asgard.

“Y/N, thank goodness you're here.” He said, his face lighting up as you stepped closer to him.

“You really believed I could fall in love with you, didn’t you?” You asked him, letting out a dark laugh as you did.

“Y/N, what have they done to you?” He asked, taking a step towards you only to stop as you slapped him.

“Who could ever love you? You’re nothing but a coward, murdering innocent people to feel powerful, you’re a villain, Loki, you’re always going to be a villain.” You snarled.

This wasn’t you, Loki knew that much.

“Oh a time cell? Using Y/N against me, very clever, except I have no memories with her so you’re making your own up. Well guess what? I won’t fall for it, I know her and this won’t work on me.” Loki yelled at the ceiling. He didn’t know if anyone was watching him but it felt good to shout a bit.

“You hear me? I promise you, I promise everyone working for the TVA will suffer for ever hurting her, for dragging her into this, you’ll suffer.” He promised, fist clenched at his side.

“Always hurting people, you really are a villain.” You said, drawing his attention back to you.

“This isn’t real, Y/N, snap out of it.” Loki pleaded but you just shouldered your way past him and left.

“Well then…” He said, looking around, wondering where to go from here.

It was silent for a few moments before he heard your voice again.

“Loki.” His head snapped up to you. “You really believed I could fall in love with you, didn’t you?”

“Oh god, come on, not a time loop.” Loki groaned, watching as you stepped forward and slapped him.

“Ow, come on, seriously? This is the TVA’s grand punishment?” He asked.

“Who could ever love you? You’re nothing but a coward, murdering innocent people to feel powerful, you’re a villain, Loki, you’re always going to be a villain.” You snarled again. “Always hurting people, you really are a villain.” You repeated.

Loki didn’t know how many times he had heard you repeat the same speech and as much as he hated to admit it, it really was starting to get to him.

“Loki.” You said, causing Loki to sigh.

“Please Y/N, no more, I beg you. I know, I know I’m a horrible person, I know, I get it. I hurt people and I use people because it’s...well you already know why I do it don’t you?” he chuckled though there was no humour in it, “I crave attention. I know I was raised as a prince, I know I shouldn't complain but living in the shadow of Thor with a father who didn’t care for you…” He trailed off not knowing where to go from there.

“I’m afraid of being alone.” He finally admitted.

“You are alone and you always will be.” You said before disappearing through the doorway.

Loki sat down on the stairs with watery eyes, waiting for you to make your entrance.

“Okay, Loki.” Mobius' voice made him look up, raising his eyebrows at the man, “ready to talk?”

Mobius took Loki back into the interrogation room but the conversation that followed got neither of the men anywhere and it wasn’t long before Mobius ended the conversation.

“Give my regards to Y/N.” He said as the doorway appeared.

“What...No. What? No, no, no. Please, not...well, just wait, wait, wait.” Loki pleaded, not ready to go back into that room, not ready to hear those words from you again.

“Of course it was me pulling the strings all along. She came to me on Asgard a long time ago and then she took me to one of her apocalypses and that's where we hatched our plan together.” Loki lied easily.

“Which is?” Mobius asked.

“Coming along very nicely, thank you.” Loki snarked.

“What of the Variant?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Loki said, lying naturally, “she’s nothing more than a pawn and when she’s finished being useful to me, I’ll dispose of her.”

“Oh she’s already been pruned, you can thank Hunter B-15 for that.” Mobius said casually. “So assume I do set you free…”

“Hang on, what did you just say?” Loki interrupted.

“What? Assume I do set you free.” Mobius repeated, suppressing a smirk.

“No, the variant, she’s gone?”

“Yeah, she took out two of ours, B-15 pruned her.

Loki shrugged, trying not to let his eyes water. “Good riddance.” He forced out.

At that, Mobius couldn’t hold back his chuckle any longer.

“What’s so funny?” Loki snapped, his emotions bubbling at the surface.

“Oh come on, look at your eyes. No wonder you have no clue what caused the nexus event.” Mobius chuckled, of course Loki would be oblivious to a connection like that. It may not have been romantic but it was strong, possibly stronger than a romantic connection.

“The two of you, pure chaos. That’s enough to break reality.” Mobius said.

“You finally trusted yourself, you saw the good in yourself. You fell for yourself.” Mobius couldn’t help but smile.

“Her name was Sylvie.” Loki said through gritted teeth.

“Ah, Sylvie, lovely. Is that I-E or just an I?” Mobius grinned.

“Is she alive?” Loki demanded.

“For now.” Was the reply.

“Mobius, listen to me carefully, if what Sylvie has told me about this place is true, it affects us all.” Loki said, cursing as Mobius rolled his eyes.

“Loki, you’ve already told me about fifty lies in the past ten minutes and now I’m supposed to believe you and Sylvie.” He chucked.

“You’re all Variants!” Loki shouted, cutting Mobius off. “Everyone who works at the TVA. The timekeepers, they didn’t create you, they stole you from your timeline and erased your memories. She has access to these memories through enchantment. So before this, before you were an analyst for the TVA, you had a past, you could have had a family, Mobius, a life.” Loki pleaded with the man, begging him to believe him.

For a moment there was nothing but silence and Loki almost thought that Mobius was going to believe him.

“Nice try but this case is closed. Our interests are no longer aligned as you’d say. I have no need for you, your variant or your girlfriend.” Mobius said, tone harsh.

“What of Y/N?” He asked, glaring at the man opposite him.

“Oh, Y/N is no longer a concern. For your or us.” Mobius said, watching the dangerous glint in Loki’s eyes.

“Leave her out of this.” Loki demanded as he stood up but Mobius just rolled his eyes as two hunters came into the room and took him back into the time cell.

Mobius sat there longer than he intended too, thinking of Loki’s words.

-

“Y/N.” A voice said from the doorway and your head shot up. There was the Hunter B-15. “You have to come with me, now.”

You did as she said, following her out of the room in confusion.

“What’s going on?” You asked but she shook her head.

“No time to explain and even if there was it isn’t safe enough to do so but let’s just say you were right to trust the Loki’s.” She said as the two of you continued on down the hall. “They’re going to need us.”

The two of you entered the armoury and she held out a dagger towards you.

“I’m just assuming you know how to use this.” She said, watching you smile as you gently took it from her.

“I had a good teacher.” You said fondly and she smiled back.

-

Mobius watched the footage on the stolen tempad and once he was done he quickly hurried back to the interrogation room and opened the doorway into the time cell Loki was being held in.

“Do you care about her?” Mobius asked urgently once he was in the room.

“Who?” Loki asked in confusion.

“Sylvie!” Mobius shot back.

“I’m not sure if care is the right word.” Was the reply he got but Mobius shook his head. “I’m sorry, haven’t we already covered this?”

“Shut up!” Mobius snapped. “Do you really think you deserve to be alone?” When he received no reply he snapped Loki’s name.

“What? You told me to shut up.”

“Do you believe you deserve to be alone?” He asked again.

“I don’t know,'' he admitted. He knew the nexus event was caused by a breakthrough between himself and Sylvie. He didn’t want to be with her obviously but did he think he deserved you? He really didn’t know.

“You better figure it out quick, because the nexus event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down. So we better understand…” Mobius rushed out but Loki cut him off.

“We?” He asked.

“Do you swear she didn't implant those memories in Hunter C-20?”

“Mobius, no. I believe her.” Loki vouched.

“So, I just have to trust the word of two Lokis?” Loki debated the question for a few seconds.

“How about the word of a friend?” He smiled as Mobius nodded at him

“You were right, about the TVA.” He admitted, “You were right from the beginning. And if you wanna save them, Sylvie and Y/N, you need to trust me. Can we do that?” Mobius asked and Loki didn’t hesitate to agree.

The pair went to leave the room but Mobius stopped to turn around and face Loki, “You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.” Loki looked shocked at the words before a genuine smile took over his face and the two of them left the cell.

They quickly paused as they had an audience waiting for them as they stepped out, Judge Renslayer in the center.

“I think you have something of mine.” She said.

Mobius was quick on his feet and quickly withdrew the stolen tempad, “Oh yeah, I got all the way down there before I even noticed I picked the wrong one up. What’s the problem, Ravonna?” He asked, seeing the dark look on her face.

He knew what was about to happen, his friend of eons was about to rid of him like some common prisoner. He took a deep breath before talking again.

“You know where I'd go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I'm really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That's what I'd like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski.”

Loki watched in horror, tears filling his eyes, as Renslayer had him pruned.

-

You and Hunter B-15 made your way down into the elevator together. There wasn’t much of a plan honestly but the two of you were going to bring down the TVA, whatever the risk.

“You ready?” She asked you and you grinned at her.

“As I’ll ever be.”

With those words the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Before anyone had time to move Hunter B-15 had unlocked the collars around Loki and Slyvie’s necks and the other hunters readied their weapons.

“For all time,” Hunter B-15 said,

“Always.” You finished and with that the fighting began.

Hunter B-15 threw Sylvie the blade as you took down one of the hunters, quickly making your way to Loki who pulled you into a rough, desperate hug.

“Y/N.” He sighed, resting his cheek on your head.

“Nice to see you again.” You muttered against his chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to leave you, I just,” before he could continue you heard Sylvie shout,

“I hate to break up the reunion but we have a situation.” You smiled at Loki before you darted around him and began battling one of the hunters, Loki dealing with one in front of him.

“Here!” Sylvie yelled, throwing her dagger to Loki and picking up a baton. You watched her, from the corner of your eye, go to the judge. Just as you took down another hunter you saw Sylvie pinned down by Renslayer and moved quickly to kick her off before you were fighting somebody else, back to back with Loki.

“We make quite a team.” He tells you with a smile on his face.

“We really do.” You said fondly, remembering all the battles you’d fought together, knowing the others moves even before they did. You were a fierce duo.

It felt good to be fighting with Loki again.

Finally all the hunters were killed and Sylvie was quick to kill one timekeeper, the three of you watched her pick up his head seeing severed wires sparking.

“Fake?” You asked, staring down at the technology.

“Mindless androids.” Sylvie spat, looking at the remaining two.

“It never stops.” Loki said looking defeated. “Then who created the TVA?”

“I thought this was it.” Sylvie admitted, she too looked crushed, she had waited years and years for this moment and this was it.

You watched as Loki looked around clearly thinking of something, someway to get you all out of this.

“Sylvie.” He began but she quickly cut him off.

“Please not another pep talk.” She pleaded, causing you to laugh despite the situation.

“No, I have to tell you something. We’ll figure this out.” He said, moving to stand in front of her and he sounded so convinced you believed him.

“How do you know that?” She asked, clearly losing hope.

“Because, well, back on Lamentis.” He began but cut himself off, looking at you. You smiled at him encouragingly causing him to smile and take a deep breath, “This is new for me,”

“What, what is it?”

Before he could answer, his body started to disappear and in his place stood Renslayer holding the pruning device.

“No!” You yelled moving forward to attack her, you snatched the device from her hands, quickly moving and in seconds you had her pinned down with the device to her neck.

“Start talking.” You spat out, tears falling down your face.

________

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Finding Your Way Back (Part 1)

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Prompts -310 - “Every day she’s wondering why I’m not there!"

Click Here for Part Two.

You tried desperately to hold on to several thoughts, tried so hard not to let them stop running through your head. You had no idea how long you’d been gone for but it was long enough that you were barely functioning.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

There used to be more thoughts, you were sure there used to be more thoughts but you couldn’t remember them anymore. You thought there might’ve been another name, another something, anything, but you didn’t know any more.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

They had taken you so easily, strapped you down in a chair until you couldn’t remember who you were before. You used to have more thoughts but they were gone now.

Now you didn’t remember anything that happened, you couldn’t feel your own body, did you even have a body anymore? There used to be pain but now there wasn’t. Were you dead?

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

Sometimes you heard people, voices, cars, sounds, but you didn’t register them completely. Never knew exactly what you were hearing. You felt cold, so cold, a lot of the time but then sometimes you felt cool air, like you were outside but you couldn’t remember.

Why couldn’t you remember?

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’

There used to be pain. Now there was nothing.

-

“Tell me you found something?” Bucky asked as he walked into Tony’s workshop. You’d been missing for four months, four months of Bucky trying to track you down but HYDRA had become smarter. There were less of them now that the Avengers had started taking them out but they were smarter now that they had you, you were their secret weapon.

The magic you held was powerful, more powerful than anyone should have access to. Forged by an infinity stone, the power should've killed you like it killed the hundreds before you but for some reason, one even the Sorcerer Supreme couldn’t even explain, the power had merged with you, making you one of the most powerful witches to walk the earth.

The abilities you had, well they were enough to bring the Earth to its knees. In the hands of HYDRA there was no telling what would happen.

Bucky knew you wouldn’t willingly follow their orders but he also knew how effective their methods were.

“She was spotted again.” Tony said, his voice heavy with sorrow. This was the seventh sighting of you, you looked worse and worse each time. By the time you were spotted you were gone before they could get to you.

It was like HYDRA was taunting them.

Wherever you were seen, shortly after a major disaster was reported, usually with dozens dead.

“You have to find her!” Bucky yelled, stalking towards Tony, effectively pinning him against the desk.

To Tony’s credit he didn’t flinch, he looked straight at Bucky with his head held high.

“I’m gonna find her, I promise you that much, I’m gonna bring her home.” Tony promised. He wouldn’t rest until you were safe.

“Every day she’s wondering why I’m not there!” Bucky tried to yell but his voice broke mid sentence as tears filled his eyes, he knew first hand how bad HYDRA could be, the thought of them hurting you-

“We’re gonna get her back, we won’t stop until we do.” Tony promised again, letting his hand rest on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky scrunched his eyes shut for a moment before nodding.

They were going to get you back.

-

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger.’

What was an Avenger? You couldn’t remember, you tried to, you tried so hard to remember but you couldn’t. The name didn’t mean anything to you anymore.

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger.’

Days and weeks dragged without you knowing. You sat there, were you sitting?, motionless. Some days you longed for the pain, anything to tell you that you were alive but nothing came.

Nothing ever came.

-

‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N.’

That was your name, you were Y/F/N Y/L/N. You didn’t know anything else any more, couldn’t remember anything else. Everything felt empty, you tried to remember what came after that but you couldn’t.

-

‘My name is Y/F/N.’

How long had it been? Days, time, it had no meaning to you anymore. You didn’t know what you were or if you were even real. Nothing happened ever, nothing that you could see, nothing you could feel, nothing you could remember.

‘My name is…’

-

“Holy crap!” Tony exclaimed as he looked at the data in front of him.

It had been seven months since your disappearance and not a day went by where Tony wasn’t looking for you. By now he had a long, long list of HYDRA bases, some abandoned, some active, but none ever held you.

He and JARVIS had been looking through the new data when they saw you. Your face was partially covered but the camera was at just the right angle.

It was definitely you.

Tony was quick to make his way up to where the jet was always on standby for such an occasion, he had already told everyone to suit up and meet him there.

“You found her?” Bucky asked as soon as Tony came into view.

“I found her.” Tony said, relief flooding his system. He knew it wasn’t going to be any easier, getting you out and dealing with the aftermath, but right now he just wanted to focus on the good news.

He was startled out of his thoughts when Bucky pulled him into a rough hug. The pair of them weren’t exactly friends but they got along just fine. Tony knew what Bucky was feeling though and hugged him back.

“Thank you.” Bucky whispered before pulling away and boarding the plane.

It took a good fews hours to get to where you were. In that time the team went over multiple different plans and ways to get you out. By the time they landed they had a fairly decent plan but still had no idea what they were walking into.

-

Outside your room sounds of guns and knives, metal and thunder could be heard by everyone except you.

You were oblivious to the absolute destruction that was happening in order to get you back. You had no idea that there were bodies piling higher and higher as the Avengers took down anyone who stood between you and them.

Bucky moved through the building as quickly and as quietly as he could. Though the trigger words were long gone, he had snapped back into the Winter Soldier faster than ever, using all his training against the people who created him.

He checked room after room, growling when he didn’t see you in any of them.

He had to stop, he had to think carefully. Bucky knew these monsters, he knew how they thought. If they knew there was even a slight chance somebody would come for their most powerful weapon, where would they hide her?

It took him less than thirty seconds to find an answer and then he threw stealth out the window as he ran down corridors, shouting through the comms for the team to meet up with him.

-

No thoughts ran through your head anymore.

You couldn’t remember who you were. You knew there used to be many things you were supposed to remember but you didn’t know anything anymore.

-

“She’s gonna be alright, Buck.” Steve said as he took a seat next to Bucky who was sitting at your side in the hospital.

“What if she’s not? Sure they think she’ll pull through physically but we’ve got no clue what they did to her head.” Bucky said. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, he felt defeated. Sure he had you back but what if he was too late, what if HYDRA had gone too far.

“It’s Y/N.” Steve said like that explained everything. “She’s a fighter.”

Bucky had nothing to say. Whilst it was true and you were one of the strongest people he knew, he also knew you were just a human. Sure the infinity stone had given you powers but ultimately you were still a human and there was only so much damage the human mind could take.

“She’ll pull through,” Steve said as he stood to leave, “She always does.”

-

It had taken a month and a half for your body to fully recover. In that time you were moved from the hospital and into the compound’s medical wing. Bucky had yet to leave your side for longer than a shower and forced meals that he swore he didn’t need. Any time away from you wasn’t worth it.

In the space of that month you had opened your eyes and twitched your fingers a few times but other than that made no move to wake up.

As the days went by the hope lessened significantly. Bucky spoke with you everyday, he begged and pleaded with you to just wake up, just let him know you were going to be ok. When he left your side to shower he cried, he punched the walls and broke most of the bathroom whilst cursing the world.

He’d apologised to Tony but the man shrugged it off, telling him to get back to his girl. The whole team was dealing with it pretty badly, most days the weather was terrible with thunder spreading right across New York.

“Please wake up, doll.” Bucky whispered, his voice cracking as he took your hand in his. “C’mon, doll you can do it.”

-

‘Doll.’

That wasn’t your name, at least you didn’t think it was your name.

A flicker of a memory, so faint you could barely recall it but you managed.

‘Doll.’

He called you that, the man with the metal arm. He called you doll but it wasn’t your name.

Who was he? You knew him somehow but you couldn’t remember. Why was he here? Was he one of the people who hurt you?

‘Just show me you're awake, ok? Just squeeze my hand if you can hear me, baby.’

Squeeze your hand, how? Did you have a body? You couldn’t feel it.

‘Just a little squeeze, c’mon baby, for me.’

It was the man with the metal arm. Nobody else called you baby or doll. At least you didn’t think so, it was hard to remember. The memories, they were so far away.

He sounded sad.

Your hand. He wanted you to move your hand. Where was it again?

Focus.

It took a long time but eventually you squeezed your hand, once, twice, three times.

‘Y/N, can you hear me?!”

Y/N!

That was your name, your name was Y/F/N….

You thought there was more, there should’ve been more but you couldn’t remember the next bit.

Instead you squeezed your hand again.

-

Bucky let out a slightly hysterical laugh as he looked down at you.

“Good job baby, that’s it. You’re doing great.” He praised as he looked at your hand like it was the best thing to grace the Earth. “So good.”

Doctors came swarming in when they were altered via JARVIS about the changes, chattering about how this was a good sign and where to go from here.

Bucky watched them from the doorway, a huge grin on his face.

He didn't doubted your strength but he also couldn’t deny HYDRA’s methods. They were enough to make anyone lose their mind but here you were finding your way back. It was going to be a long, exhausting road but you were finding your way back.

Read part two here.

Some Things Are Worth The Risk

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Prompt - 'But he'd learned long ago that a life lived without risks pretty much wasn't worth living.’

Working for the FBI and hiding secrets, especially when you worked in the BAU surrounded by some of the best profilers in the world, was incredibly difficult but by some miracle you had managed it. The first few months on the job were terrible, you kept to yourself despite the team's attempt to draw you in, you dreaded every time you were called into Hotch’s office, thinking that he knew what you were hiding.

Eventually though, after months on the job you figured if they hadn’t found you out by now then it was unlikely they would. You began to relax, accepting the invitations for drinks at the bar and going to the dinners Rossi hosted. The team didn’t question the change in your behaviour, they just assumed that you were shy and it had taken you a while to adjust to everything.

Though you never forgot the secret, the weight of it constantly felt like it was resting on your shoulders, hell it was the whole reason you had joined the BAU to begin with, but you’d gotten so good at hiding it that some days it was easy to ignore it.

So when Hotch called you at three in the morning with a new case, you had no reason to be worried. Why would you be? It was standard to get called at all hours for a case, there was no rest for the unsubs. It hadn’t taken you too long to get to the air strip but everyone else was already on the jet when you walked in. You took the empty seat next to Hotch, sitting opposite Rossi and Spencer. Everyone looked to be in various states of waking up and you knew you were no better, eyes more shut than they were open, fully intending on falling back asleep once the jet was in the air.

Hotch didn’t start talking until the jet had taken off. He handed out the files to you all and you flicked it open, not paying too much attention to where you were going, your eyes going straight to the pictures. All the women looked similar, all in their mid to late thirties, all with the same skin colour, hair colour and length. Each woman had one slash wound across their neck, which was determined to be the cause of death, each had been stabbed twice, once in the stomach and once the right thigh and each woman had chemical burns on their eyes due to bleach being poured into them.

As you read over the information you found yourself subconsciously sitting up straighter, eyes widening with each bit of information. You knew that MO but there was no way it could be who you thought…it was impossible. A life sentence prevented it from being the person you thought it was.

Hotch noticed your tense form and gently nudged your shoulder with his. As you let yourself get closer with the team, you found yourself getting especially close to Aaron Hotchner, you weren’t even sure how it had happened but before you knew it you found yourself being invited to his house for dinner with him and Jack or going out alone for dinner when Jess offered to watch his son. You found yourself developing feelings for the older man, knowing that it couldn’t go anywhere, he was your supervisor and the director was already breathing down the BAU’s neck. It didn’t mean you would stop spending time with him or savouring the small touches he gave you.

“You ok?” He whispered when you didn’t look away from the file in your hand. Before you could respond Penelope’s voice was sounding through the jet.

“I’d love to be the bearer of good news once in a while but that has yet to happen,” As she spoke you looked up at Aaron and gave him a small nod, forcing a smile on your face. He didn’t look convinced but he let it go for now, you knew the second he got you alone though he would question you again.

“Another victim?” Tara asked.

"Yes, no ID yet but I should have one for you by the time you land. She was found the same way the other victims were, in her home, tied to a chair with the same,” here Penelope paused to grimace before gesturing to the screens in front of her with a pink fluffy pen, “wounds. Local police are waiting for you guys before they move the body.” Penelope informed you all before saying goodbye.

“Reid, Morgan I want the two of you to head straight to the newest crime scene. JJ, go to the station and get a head start on the media. Lewis and Dave, head to the last crime scenes and see if you can see anything. Y/N, you and I will head to the ME and see what they can tell us.” Everyone nodded along and began to strap themselves in for the land.

You had a bad feeling about this case.

-

“So each victim has the same set out ligature marks on each wrist but there are no defensive wounds. All the victims have the same stab wounds but what interested me about them was how precise they were.” The medical examiner said as she gestured for you to look at the pictures displayed.

“They’re in the exact same place each time.” Hotch said as he stepped forward to examine them.

“Yes, whoever did this also knew exactly where to hit so that the victims would be in an excruciating amount of pain but wouldn’t bleed out. There were also chemical wounds in their eyes created using bleach.”

As the medical examiner spoke you continued to examine the bodies whilst Hotch looked at the different images displayed. The MO was too similar to ignore and you knew there was one thing missing, one thing that if you confirmed was there would send you spiralling. You knew where to look but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

The medical examiner and Hotch continued talking and you took a deep breath, glad Hotch’s attention wasn’t on you, if he glanced at you now he would have immediately pulled you from the room and made you tell him what was wrong.

You stepped closer to one of the bodies, it wouldn’t be there, you thought, it couldn’t be there because there was a life sentence in place that meant this couldn’t happen again. You squeezed your eyes shut before opening them again and pulling the sheet of the victim, it took a moment before you let your eyes shift down to the victims left hand.

“Y/N.” Hotch said, turning to face you after hearing a crash. You had pulled away from the victim so fast and ended up crashing into the table full of supplies, sending them toppling down to the floor. “Y/N.” Hotch said again, hurrying over to your side.

Tears fell down your face and you felt the air leave your lungs. You gasped for breath and felt your head felt like it was pounding. This couldn’t be happening but the evidence was right there in front of you, a small cross carved onto the victim’s fourth finger right where a wedding ring would rest.

“Y/N, hey, listen to me.” You heard Hotch say softly, though you could hear the slight panic in his tone. “Copy my breathing.” He instructed and though it took a long while eventually your breathing evened out and the feeling of being light headed started to subside.

Hotch watched you collect yourself as best you could with tears still running down your face before he spoke.

“What is it, Y/N?” He asked softly.

“I know who the killer is.” Was your whispered reply.

-

Hotch drove the two of you to the precinct, neither of you saying a word as you followed him into the conference room. Everyone looked up at his arrival, Derek ready to fill him in on what they gathered but one look at your puffy, red eyes cut him short.

“What’s going on?” He asked instead.

“Get Garcia on the phone now.” Hotch requested, Tara was quick to call the woman who answered cheerily.

“Garcia, I need you to look up a William Parker quickly.” He said and Penelope promptly started typing, the only sound to be heard as they awaited her answer.

“Um, right, here it is, William Parker, aged 53, born in…Charlevoix, Michigan. He had a wife and a daughter.” Garcia read out and Hotch turned to look back at you. You hadn’t told him how you knew Parker, only that you were sure he was the killer. He hadn’t doubted you, not after a reaction like that, he trusted you on this.

“Had?” Derek asked, leaning forward in his seat, "What happened to them, baby girl?”

Hotch was still watching you and saw how you tensed up, what was going on?

“Give me a sec, I’m getting them unsealed right now.” It took a couple of minutes in which the team shot each other looks of confusion and looks of concern in your direction but Penelope let out a small ‘ah ha’ and drew their attention back to the phone. “Wow, ok, are you thinking this guys your unsub because if so I’d say you're absolutely right.”

“How so, Garcia?” Hotch asked. You glanced up and saw him looking at you. It was taking everything in you not to flee the room right now.

“Well, he was arrested years back for killing his wife. Police showed up at the house when their neighbour called the police after hearing crying for hours. They found the wife tied to a chair, two stab wounds in the stomach and right thigh, bleach in the eye and a slash wound to the neck.” Here Penelope gasped, “Oh no.”

“What baby girl?” Derek asked.

“The crying. Parker’s daughter was found covered in a mix of her and her mom’s blood. She was tied against the chair her mom was in, covered in cuts and bruises.” Hotch, who still had yet to take his eyes off you, watched as you rubbed your wrists the realisation hitting him.

“Garcia, what happened to the kid?” Rossi asked and Hotch saw your body shake with silent sobs.

“She got placed in witness protection so it’ll take me a while to find out exactly where she is now but it seemed she was moved out of state after giving evidence at her dad’s trial.” Penelope said as she clicked a link before gasping. You might have been young in that picture but she’d know your face anywhere.

“Oh my god.” Penelope said, tears filling her own eyes. That was the confirmation Hotch needed and he immediately wrapped you in his arms, everyone’s attention turning to you as you let out heart wrenching sobs.

“Garcia,” Derek says, not wanting it to be true.

“It’s Y/N, our Y/N.” She says quietly, the room falling silent except for the sounds of your sobbing.

-

Spencer handed you a cup of water before taking a seat next to you. You looked up at him, shooting him a grateful smile. You had managed to calm down a bit with Hotch’s help and now you were sitting at the table in between Spencer and Hotch. Everyone was shooting you concerned looks but you couldn’t look at them. Penelope was on the phone as the team set to work on finding where Parker was now.

“Wait, so this guy should be serving a life sentence, right?” Derek asked Penelope who began typing again.

“He was charged with life in prison but two weeks ago he got transferred and managed to escape.” Penelope told them, “It seems Parker and another man Lewis Miller managed to escape but Miller was caught pretty quickly.”

“Y/N,” Tara starts carefully, “how did you know this was him?”

“The MO was too similar to ignore but I was hoping,” You began but cut yourself off as tears began to fill your eyes. Hotch frowned sympathetically as he placed his hand on one of yours and you let yourself take comfort from the touch. You took a shaky breath before continuing, “I was hoping, maybe it was a copycat, you know? All that information was released to the press but there was one thing he did to my mom,” You choked out. Spencer pushed the water in your direction causing you to smile and take small sips. “He carved a small ‘x’ into her ring finger right where her wedding ring would sit. When Hotch and I were with the ME, I checked and the victims had the same carvings.”

With that you turned into Hotch, despite the chair's arms in between and he wrapped both his arms around you.

“We’ll find him.” He promised, smiling sadly when he felt you nod against his chest.

-

“There’s been a new body but there’s something different.” The chief informed you all as he entered the conference room you’d been given.

“What is it?” Hotch asked, standing up.

“The woman, it was a girl in her mid twenties.” He said and the whole team turned to look at you. You only had eyes for Hotch though, he turned to see you looking at him with fear in your eyes.

“Hey,” he said, making his way over to you and leaning down so that you were eye level. “This is not your fault, you understand me?” He asked.

“Hotch,” you choked out but the older man cut you off.

“No, Y/N, this, none of this is your fault. I promise.” It was like those were the words you needed to hear, you let out a shaky breath and nodded. “You need to stay here, ok?”

“No, Aaron please. I need to be on this case.” You pleaded but you could see the man wasn’t going to budge.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but somehow he knows you’re here, that’s the only reason he’d change victimology. I can’t, I won’t risk you getting hurt. I promise you we’ll catch him but for me to do that, you have to stay here, where I know you’re safe.” Hotch told you and the sincerity of it had you nodding. You didn’t like it but ultimately you knew he was right.

“Okay.” You said, causing him to give you a small smile.

“Thank you.” He said before straightening up and pulling you into his arms. “We’ll get him.” He repeated and you nodded against his chest, fully believing him.

“I’ll stay with her.” Rossi offered as the rest of the team headed for the door. Hotch shot his friend a grateful look before turning to leave himself.

Nobody hurt you and got away with it.

-

On the way to the latest crime scene Penelope called Hotch and informed them that she had combed through security camera footage and found Parker driving away. The two SUV’s turned their sirens on and broke every road law there was, following Penelope’s instructions and taking one too many sharp turns that left them clutching their seats but eventually they caught up with the man.

Parker instantly sped up upon seeing two SUV’s but that didn’t deter them and Hotch pressed his foot even harder to the pedal. When Parker made a sharp right turn down a dirt road, Hotch spoke up.

“Garcia, where does the lead?” He heard her typing as she desperately tried to find something of interest but nothing came up.

“Nowhere, sir.” She replied.

“There has to be something!” Hotch snapped, missing the look of concern Spencer gave him from the passenger seat.

“Sir, there’s nothing ther-wait a second, ok, there’s a cabin. Not too far from where you are now, another two minutes down that road.” Penelope rushed out.

“Thank you, Penelope.” Spencer replied as he watched Hotch’s face harden.

“Go get him.” Penelope commanded.

-

The SUV hadn’t come to a full stop as Hotch jumped out of it, chasing after Parker with his gun drawn. Parker had fled into the house and Hotch didn’t hesitate before he kicked it open and entered, the team following close behind.

They split up, Tara and JJ heading upstairs whilst Derek headed down to the basement and Spencer and Hotch searched the ground floor.

Hotch paused when he heard something scrape and turned to see the back door open. He was quick to run out, spotting Parker instantly. He didn’t have a shot, not from there and chased after him.

“Parker’s on foot, backdoor, into the woods.” Hotch said through the comms.

“Copy.”

Hotch continued to chase Parker through the woods before coming to a halt. The trail split into two different turnings…Hotch had lost him. He lowered his gun as he cursed himself for letting Parker get away before he spun around after hearing a gun click.

“So you’re the bastard who got my daughter.” Parker spat, looking Hotch up and down.

“And you’re the bastard who tied her to her dead mom after torturing her.” Hotch said as he cocked his gun.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Parker says, smirking at Hotch. “You can’t shoot me, I haven’t done anything to prevent you making an arrest.”

“The way I see it,” Hotch began, not taking his finger off the trigger. “There’s no-one here but us.” He said, smirking at the man in an attempt to aggravate him. He watched as Derek and Spencer appeared behind the man but hidden behind trees with their guns drawn.

“You wouldn’t.” Parker said, his face darkening as he took a step back.

“You really want to test that theory?” Hotch asked and with that Parker pulled the trigger. Hotch, having been expecting it, managed to move before the bullet left the gun and both Spencer and Derek fired their own weapons.

He watched as Parker’s body fell to the floor and Derek confirmed he was dead.

-

“He’s really gone?” You asked Hotch, who nodded and smiled softly as you fell against his chest.

“He’s really gone.” He reassured you, wrapping his arms around your waist and letting his head rest against yours after placing a soft kiss against your hair.

“Thank you.” You whispered.

“You never had to thank me.” Hotch replied, his tone as soft as yours.

“God,” You groaned when the two of you pulled away from each other as everyone else came out of the police station, “I never wanna come back to this damned town again.” You said, causing everyone to laugh.

“Let’s get you home, mama.” Derek said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you against him and kissing your temple before leading you over to the SUV.

Hotch watched with a smile as Derek held the door open for you and you got into the car with a soft giggle.

“When are you going to ask her out?” Rossi asked from his spot next to Hotch.

“When we get home.” Hotch replied, shocking both himself and Rossi. He hadn’t actually been considering it but he knew it was right. Screw what people would say, you were right for him and hopefully you felt the same way about him.

“Attaboy.” Rossi smirked before heading over to the SUV.

Hotch stood there for a moment, just smiling to himself before Spencer pulled him out of his thoughts by placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You ready to leave?” He asked.

“Yes.” Hotch grimaced causing Spencer to smile and with that the two men made their way over to the SUV’s before leaving the town behind them all.

-

“Wait,” Tara said, causing everyone to look at her. You were sitting next to Hotch, letting your head rest against his shoulder whilst his arm was wrapped around your waist. Spencer and Rossi sat opposite you with JJ and Derek sitting on the sofa and Tara standing in the walkway. “Is your name even really Y/N?” She asked, causing everyone to look at you.

“It is, they wanted to change it, said it was protocol but, well you know me, I’m not one for protocol.” You said, causing everyone to laugh. “I managed to convince them to let me keep my first name and then my last name came from my mom’s side, my nan’s maiden name.”

“Y/F/N /Y/L/N, it suits you much better.” JJ said, making you smile.

“I like to think so.” You laughed.

“So when you said you grew up in New York?” Derek prompted.

“I got relocated there. The family I was placed with, they weren’t the best but they were nothing compared to my dad so I just stuck it out for the next few years and then moved here to start with the FBI program.” You all continued to talk for the entire plane ride about your past and you found it was easier to talk about.

Even though your dad had been in prison, as far as you had known anyway, there was always that lingering anxiety in the back of your head. Clearly it was for good reason, you couldn’t believe he had broken out but Aaron…Aaron made sure he couldn’t hurt you again.

You smiled to yourself as you cuddled further into him, heat spreading across your cheeks when you felt him tighten his grip.

-

“Oh my gosh, you’re ok!” Penelope said as soon as the elevator doors opened. You stepped out and let yourself be pulled into her warm embrace.

No matter how bad things got you could always count on Penelope Garcia to be there with open arms and a shoulder to cry on.

“I’m ok.” You assured her, pulling back to smile at her. “Thank you for helping them get him.” You said, watching her eyes water before she pulled you into another hug.

“I’m just so glad you’re safe.” She said before pulling away.

“Need a ride home?” Hotch asked as everyone headed to their desks.

“If you don’t mind.” You smiled.

“Of course not.” Hotch replied, shaking his head and smiling at you.

He had such a beautiful smile, all the hard lines on his face softened and he looked so much more relaxed this way.

“Thank you.” Hotch promised he’d be fast as he headed to his office to sort some things out, his report could wait until tomorrow. Right now you were his only priority. He told the rest of his team that the reports could wait, it was late and everyone should go home.

You and Hotch said goodbye to everyone before heading off to the elevator, you missing the smirk Rossi was giving Hotch.

On the ride down Hotch pondered just what he was going to say to you, how could he ask you out? Should he even ask you? If you said no it could ruin everything between you but then he thought back to how good it felt to be able to hold you in his arms, despite the awfulness of the case, and came to the conclusion that this was one of the things that was worth risking everything for.

Hotch remained silent for most of the car ride home and it was only when you spoke up he realised it.

“Are you ok?” You asked softly, drawing him from his thoughts. He cleared his throat before nodding.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I was just thinking…” He said before trailing off.

“Nothing bad?” You asked, biting your lip as you waited for an answer. You watched as he smiled before letting out a small chuckle.

“No, nothing bad. At least I hope it’s nothing bad.” He said, causing you to look over at him, your brows knitting together as you tilted your head questioningly. He let out a soft sigh as he pulled up to your apartment complex.

“I was thinking about you.” He confessed, his tone soft as he looked away from you. Dave had assured him multiple times that you felt the same way as he did and as much as he trusted the older profilers skills, he just couldn’t see how someone like you could be interested in him. He was so much older, he had so much baggage…he just couldn’t understand it.

“Me?” You asked, keeping your voice quiet so you didn’t disturb the quietness around you.

“Yes. You’re what I’m thinking about most of the time actually, it’s quite distracting.” He told you with a small chuckle. “I know this probably isn’t appropriate and it’s probably not the best time considering the case we just had but I wondered if maybe I could take you out for dinner some time?” He asked, trying not to fumble over his words.

You couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face or the blush that stained your cheeks.

“Like a date?” You asked, your smiling faltering as Aaron shook his head.

“Not like a date but an actual date.” He clarified, smiling as the smile came back to your face and you let out a laugh.

“I’d like that,” You told him, “I’d really like that.”

“Good, me too.” He said, clearing his throat as he registered the fact that you had said yes. You giggled softly as he sat there silently for a second. “If we don’t have a case this weekend, are you free?”

“Yes.”

“Good, good. I’ll pick you up at 6?” He asked and you nodded.

Before either of you could speak, you let out a small yawn, only just noticing how late it had gotten.

“You should get some sleep.” Hotch said softly.

“You too.” You told him, knowing he had slept very little on this case too.

“I will.” He promised. “If you need tomorrow off,” Hotch began but you cut him off.

“No, thanks but I’m good.” You assured him, watching as his eyes searched yours before he nodded.

“Goodnight Y/N,” he whispered, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on your cheek, smiling as the blush spread across them again.

“Goodnight Aaron.” You replied, smiling over at him almost shyly before getting out of the car and making your way over to the door.

Once you pushed it open you turned to wave at him before letting the door shut behind you. You couldn’t help but lean against it, in the way that only happens in those cheesy rom-coms you watch with Penelope, smiling widely to yourself before heading up to your apartment.

Hotch was still sitting outside, smiling at the door you had just entered.

If he felt this happy after you agreed to go on a date with him, he couldn’t wait until the weekend came. This definitely was one of the things that was worth this risk and somehow, despite all the bad luck he and his team seemed to attract, he really believed this could be one of the few things that went right.

The One

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Prompt - ‘If you wanted me you really should have showed.’

If you were to ask anybody who knew you or Jake they would have all told you the same thing; you were head over heels in love, you and Jake were the one for each other. People were more surprised to find out you weren’t dating after taking one look at the two of you and coming to the conclusion that you had to be together, friends couldn’t possibly look at each other like that.

When people asked you what the deal was between you and Jake, you just smiled. It wasn’t a happy smile but rather a smile that showed how much you wanted things to change, a smile that said I fell for my best friend hard and there’s nothing that can be done. You gave them a smile and you told them he was your friend, he was your best friend, and that was the end of it.

There had always been something between you and Jake, something that always hinted towards feelings for each other, something that gave you a spark of hope that things could change but they never did.

Things never changed.

You and Jake had hit it off pretty much straight away when you’d first met, your first day on the job Jake came up to you with a to-go cup and a bright smile on his face. He stayed with you all day, helping you navigate everything. From then on you two had become such close friends, it was a friendship that everyone should have at least once, the type of friendship were you knew what the other was thinking, what they were going to do, it was the type of friendship were you could show up at each other’s door after a bad case and not have to say anything.

It was the type of friendship that made you realise you were falling in love.

You went on for months pretending that nothing had changed. Except now you couldn’t help but look at things from a new perspective, when Jake hugged you close for longer than what was considered socially acceptable, when Jake showed up at your door with a bag filled with your favourite take out, could these things just be friendly gestures or was there a chance Jake liked you too?

-

“I call Y/N!” Was the first thing you heard as the elevator doors opened into the precinct. You walked towards Holt’s office, leaning against the door frame but staying silent.

“You can’t just call Y/N.” Amy said as she rolled her eyes at Jake who was grinning up at her.

“Ha! I just did.” Jake shot back.

“Sir, Jake always picks Y/N.” Terry said looking towards Holt who tried to look bored of the group in front of him but looking closely you could see he was amused by the conversation topic.

“Perhaps we should just let Y/N pick who her partner is.” Holt said as he gestured to you. You smiled as you watched Jake’s head shoot around as he smiled brightly at you.

You looked at Jake and hated that the first thought in your head was could he like me. Rosa had told you the way you and Jake looked at each other wasn’t how friends should look at each other but you’d always brushed her off. Since realising your feelings for the detective you could help but question if she was right.

“Y/N!” Jake greeted, “You’ll be my partner won’t you?” The over exaggerated puppy dog eyes made your heart simultaneously ache and swell at the same time. You wished this was just some school girl crush that you could shake off but it wasn’t, it was real and you ached with how much you wanted this.

“Hmm,” You pondered, watching as Jake jutted his bottom lip out some more, “I suppose somebody has to be and I can put up with you better than most people can.” You joked, smiling as he laughed and made his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close.

“That’s my girl.” And oh, how you wished you were.

-

You frowned as you heard a knock on your door. It had been a long day at work, the case you’d spent weeks on had gotten nowhere and was now considered a cold case - telling the victim’s family had gone as well as expected. Now all you wanted to do was hide away from everything and everyone.

With a groan you got out of bed and headed to the front door.

“Hi.” Jake smiled sadly at you. Despite everything that had happened that day, you couldn’t help the small smile that spread across your face.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, opening the door wider.

“Thought you could use some company.” He told you and before you knew it you were being wrapped up tightly in Jake’s arms.

You couldn’t help but grip him just as tightly, cursing yourself as you did so. Being in Jake’s arms, wrapped tightly up in them like he could protect you from the world, made you feel safe. It was the safest you had felt in a long time and when he pulled away you immediately missed the warmth and comfort.

“Can I do anything?” He asked but you just shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak. “I can go, I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“No, no,” You rushed out before you could stop yourself, “stay, please.” You pleaded, stepping aside so he could come in. The two of you headed to your bedroom, this wasn’t the first time one of you had shown up at the other’s house after midnight and it wasn’t the first time you’d shared a bed.

It was, however, the first time since you discovered your feelings for the man and this time instead of keeping some space between the two of you, Jake wrapped you up in his arms again.

You couldn’t help but melt into him and you pleaded with anyone who would listen for Jake to just make a move, give you a hint…anything.

-

“Come on, man, Y/N’s not gonna wait around forever.” Terry said one night as he, Charles and Jake were sat in the bar. The two men had been on Jake’s back for months now trying to get him to ask you out.

“Trust me, I want to but it’s not like that. She doesn’t feel that way about me.” Jake replied, a small frown on his face. He hated when the guys brought you up because it always reminded him that he couldn’t have you, no matter how much he wanted you, you were always just going to see him as a friend. He wasn’t going to ruin that friendship by telling you how he felt.

“She likes you, Jake!” Charles insisted but Jake just shook his head. He couldn’t have this conversation again, so without a word he left the bar ignoring the calls of his friends.

It hurt, only being able to have you as a friend. To hold you after a bad day but know there was nothing more than platonic feelings there, to not go home together after work and cook together, working like you were made for each other. Just being your friend was the worst but the thought of losing that friendship and you turning him down was too much for Jake so instead he smiled and continued to just be friends.

-

It had been months since you first realised you liked Jake and in that time you had given him so many chances to confess, for him to pull you into a kiss and say he felt the same way but that day never came.

Eventually you decided that you just had to give up because sooner or later this was going to destroy your friendship with Jake and that would break your heart.

“I have a date.” You told Rosa and Amy when the others left the break room. They immediately started talking and questioning you about it, both drawing the same incorrect conclusion.

“With Jake?” They asked together, Amy grinning at you whilst Rosa smirked. Both girls had been persistent that you and Jake were going to have a big romantic moment where you confessed your feelings and fell magically into your happily ever after.

“Finally, I always told you he was the one for you.” Amy continued as her smile grew. Any conversation where Jake came up, Amy had always insisted that Jake was ‘the one’.

Oh, how you wished he was.

Unfortunately this was life and people rarely got what they wanted.

“No.” You said, watching as their expressions changed immediately.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Rosa asked, narrowing her eyes.

“I mean no. I told you Jake doesn’t like me the way I like him and I have to do something before this crush ruins our friendship. Trust me, if he liked me he would’ve done something a long time ago.” You said honestly. Jake was the type of person who went for what he wanted.

“Y/N…” Amy began but you shook your head, quickly cutting her off.

“No Amy, he had his chance and nothing happened. I can’t just sit around alone just because he doesn’t like me.” You said and with that you left the room and entered Holt’s office ready for your meeting.

-

In the two months you’d been dating Liam you had noticed that you had barely seen Jake. When he found out you had started dating Liam he smiled, it was a painfully obvious fake smile, and told you he was happy for you before disappearing for the rest of the day.

In those two months you’d only seen Jake for work purposes though he wasn’t partnered up with you anymore. If the group went to the bar and you tagged along Jake would make up some excuse so that he didn’t have to go, so eventually you just stopped going all together.

It hurt more than you wanted to admit that Jake hadn’t fought for you, there was a small part of you that hoped by dating somebody Jake would admit he liked you but instead of that happening he just avoided you and your friendship.

That’s not to say Liam wasn’t good, he was, but with him you just felt…fine but with Jake you felt safe, loved, cared for, you felt fireworks just from your fingers brushing and you felt fearless as you worked together.

As you were feeling this way, it shouldn’t have surprised you when the fight happened.

-

“I tried to ignore it, you know, pretend that my girlfriend wasn’t into some other guy but come on!” Liam yelled. The conversation that started the argument wasn’t great, you accidentally brought up Jake’s name when talking about work causing the man to explode.

“There is nothing between me and Jake!” You told him honestly, causing him to laugh bitterly.

“Oh please, don’t act like there is nothing happening there! Everyone can see it all over your face.” Liam continued to yell, continued to tell you how you and Jake were probably sneaking around behind his back, calling you every name under the sun.

Finally, after what felt like hours of having abuse shouted at you, you left, ignoring the words of disgust he shouted at your retreating figure.

It was late at night and Liam had picked you up so you had no way to get home and no money to call a cab. You sighed as you scrolled through your contacts and tried calling Terry but there was no answer. You knew Rosa and Amy were on a stakeout so they couldn’t help and Charles was busier than ever with his kid.

So, that just left Jake.

With a sigh you sat down on the sidewalk. Would Jake even answer the phone? Despite everything that had happened between the two of you, you genuinely believed he’d pick up if you called but there was a small part of you that still hesitated before shaking your head and pressing the call button.

You listen to the ringing for a long time, almost ready to give up before you heard Jake’s groggy voice through the phone.

“Y/N?” He asked, clearly just having woken up.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You said quietly into the phone.

“It’s fine,” he assured, “is everything ok?” Those were the words that sent you over the edge and you barely managed to suppress a sob as tears fell down your cheeks.

“Um, yeah, no, I just, I-” Jake frowned as he heard another sob.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s ok. Just relax, Y/N/N, that’s it. What happened?” He asked after you’d calmed down a bit.

“Me and Liam we, um, got into a fight and he said some things,” Here you stopped to take a shaky breath, “I left.”

“I’m sorry Y/N/N.” He said, more sorry that you were so upset rather than you having broken up with the other man.

“This is your fault you know?” You laughed sadly into the phone, your emotions were all over the place right now and you knew you’d regret saying this tomorrow but you had too. “God, everyone always said we’d be perfect for each other, we were meant to be and you always laughed it off. I wanted you so damn badly Jake, you didn’t even fight for me. Even if you didn’t like me like that, you just let our friendship end. I wanted you to fight for me! That’s all I ever wanted!” You cried and Jake sat in bed with his mouth open as he registered your words.

The silence continued and you were about to hang up the phone when Jake replied.

“You like me?” He asked, stunned.

“You must have known.” Was your weak reply. Now it was out there, you finally admitting this secret, you felt light, you felt relieved. Even if Jake laughed at you, at least you’d said it.

“I would have fought so hard for you, Y/N/N, I, god, I like you so much. Every day I fall for you more and more, all I want, all I ever wanted from the day we met was you. You’re the one I want to dance around the kitchen with, you’re the one I want to take out, you’re the one who I want to lay on the couch with and talk about everything and nothing. It was always you, Y/N, and when you got with him, god, I knew then and there my chance was gone, I knew I’d blown it.” Jake admitted, surprised that he didn’t feel too nervous, he felt great, he felt confident. Even if too much time had passed at least he had said his piece.

“Jake?” You asked.

“Yeah Y/N/N?” Jake replied hesitantly.

“We’re both idiots.” Jake couldn’t help but laugh into the phone causing you to laugh too, the two of you were grinning like idiots.

“Where are you?” Jake asked and after he found out you weren’t too far away from him he offered to pick you up. With a shy smile you thanked him and hung up.

-

Soon enough you and Jake were sitting in his apartment.

“Listen, I know I’ve been a real jerk these last few months but seeing you with him…” Jake trailed off, turning away from you before continuing. “I’m really sorry. It wasn’t fair for me to take my feelings out on you, especially when I didn’t tell you how I felt.”

“I owe you an apology too-” You began but he quickly cut you off.

“No, you don’t. All you did was move on because I was too scared to say something.” Jake told you and whilst it was true you did feel guilty because this was a two way street and you could have told him how you felt.

“I was scared too.” You finally admitted after a few moments of silence causing Jake to smile shyly at you. With only a small amount of hesitation Jake reached over and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, causing you to smile and melt into the touch.

“No more being scared, yeah?” Jake whispered as he leaned closer.

“Sounds good.” You replied just as quietly and with that Jake softly connected your lips together. His hand moves from your cheek to cup the nape of your neck as you kiss him back. The kiss itself is gentle but it was like every cheesy cliche ever, you felt fireworks as he kissed you, your skin tingled pleasantly as you felt his fingers lightly grazing your skin.

Maybe Amy was right, you thought as Jake pulled away and rested his forehead against you, smiling softly at you, maybe Jake was the one.