We Both Got What We Wanted.

We both got what we wanted.

Except each other.

-katie

a woman is criminalized

should she decide to

terminate a pregnancy

while a man can back out anytime

such is the reality

i am forced to live by

and so is jessica

and katrina

and amanda

and gabrielle

and thousands of others

in gritted teeth,

i try to swallow back

the bile rising from my throat

i feel nauseated

just thinking about that

night at the parking lot

where my jeans were torn

ferociously from my body

i tremble from the warm

puff of wind blowing

my nape

my boyfriend just learned

the truth this morning

when i threw up

all over the kitchen floor

he was aghast

i tried to reason out

he didn't use protection

because he expected me

to be the one responsible for it

it's a sad world,

gina could only weep now

a sad world for women

but therese tried to play it cool

though the pregnancy test

that screams positive in her face

shatters her composure

she never wanted this

haunting reality

but her neighbor had forced

himself on her one drunken night

an episode she's trying to drown

in a deadly shot of alcohol

it's a cruel world

but rachel is carrying her seventh child

seventh child!

as though the six she bore

aren't too many

rita had her second child today

via c-section

a procedure she could barely afford

but her labor seemed longer

than the death march

she was not able to bear down

so a cut suddenly became

a logical procedure

it's a cruel world

and dana knew it

the moment she was judged

for not wanting children

thus having her tubes tied

at twenty five

it's a cruel world

for maria

for delia

for claudine

for martha

and thousands

of other women

who have to live with

society's standards

of right and wrong

a woman is criminalized

should she decide to

terminate a pregnancy

while a man can back out anytime

i close my eyes

as i listen to people

with no uterus

decide on my future

-katie

Image: https://wallpaperaccess.com/download/sad-woman-1940837

Five more minutes,

I will watch the moon

for five more minutes

Pretend my pain

is washed away

by its gloomy light

reaching my teary eyes

I will watch it with ardor

as the ocean roars

drowning the sound

of my heart shattering

into million screaming pieces

that remind me of

the kisses I showered the wind,

thinking you're here

running your fingers

through my hair

Five more minutes

won't hurt me

so I will linger that long

Stare at the night sky

Count the stars

that twinkle and

lament those that

already consumed

themselves to dust

Savor the cool breeze

against my skin

Listen to the secrets

the ghosts whisper

in my ears: your name

bringing me back

all the memories

I refuse to bury

Five more minutes, my love

I will watch the moon

wishing you're somewhere

looking at it too

-katie, 23:53

Legally yours. ❤️

You are the blessing I didn't ask for but were given;

You are the miracle I didn't pray for but happened.

You happened. And my love, I've become my best version. Thank you for calming my storm. Now everything in me is pacific. Thank you for taming my demons. Now they kneel and wear golden halos.

Since you happened, the lips that refused to pray started uttering praises to God who made this blissful encounter possible.

Because you happened, I lift my hands up above, call out in the voice of a Seraphim as I feel my wings growing...

Wings that were severed when I-

I renounced my faith in love.

You happened, so I regained everything I ever lost from fear and doubt and wrath.

You are the gift I didn't ask for but were bestowed;

You are the guardian I didn't pray for but were sent to bring me home...

You were sent TO BE my HOME.

-god sent, katie

7th of March 2020 @23:30

I will never run

out of beautiful

things to say about you.

katie