Actually Madd - Tumblr Posts

So... Does anyone else's mum threaten them with a baseball bat because they "never asked for a retard of a child" whilst your dad watches along with your siblings as they just smile at you, or do have a normal family?

Maladaptive daydreaming really does get you down; like one moment parame is living their best life, in a happy, safe and loving relationship away from all stress and pain. Then all of a sudden I've been pulled away from that world and into this one, kept focused on the moment by words of hatred and discontent at my very existence, desperate to go back to daydreaming.

Often, a bit too much...

“A lot of people tell me I’m a bit dreamy. But I like the idea of that. Of being somewhere else.”

— Alex Turner,  Arctic Monkeys

wow, love that my school finally enforced that I get counselling after my parents have forbidden it for so many years because they know they'll be in deep shit if I call them out. So my mum sits there today violently grabbing at my face and screaming what she'll do if I "go off telling lies". She's just scared for herself.

When my sweet, innocent para switches personalities with my most hateful para for a hot minute and I have to make them apologise for the fued they just created

So, something that I've noticed is that I've never really seen anyone talk about non-human paras. Like most of my prominent paras are mythical creatures, such as Goblins, Faeries, Pixies, Nymphs, and some of them are like spirits/ghosts/entities. But I've seen that a lot of people pretty much only have human paras, where I have little to no human paras. Could it be something to do with the way people have treated me throughout my life? My dislike/growing fear of people? I'm just not sure, but I feel uncomfortable when ever I meet a human para, like I instantly distrust them and make myself distanced from them.

Sometimes I just realise that the only reason I stay alive is so that I can daydream.

Constantly daydreaming of what could have been, a better time, a better life altogether

This could be us, but you're a para and I'm parame...

Fuck it, I needed the material for a new daydream scenario anyway. This will be us.

Or getting in a relationship with a guy and accidentally telling him about my forest faerie queen wife... 👀

Imagine you’re dating someone and you find out they have a fictional universe inside their head where they’re married to an anime character and not you

Me: *wants to watch YouTube videos*

Me: *can only watch YouTube videos on my laptop so that I can pretend I'm a youtuber doing a reaction video and I can get that dramatic click on the spacebar ever 5 seconds*

Me: *turning to the side* "alright guys, so this dude clearly has nooo idea what he's talking about. So here's what I think 'aight..."

*5 seconds into human contact*

Yea, that should just about do it for a few months, *daydreams*

Just saying...

Please do not interact unless you have experienced any form of trauma or abuse and/or experience mental illness, especially with maladaptive daydreaming.

I do not want people re-blogging or commenting on posts (mainly) about MaDD saying stuff like "omg, this is so me because I like to pretend ___ every once in a while". Or "oh, I'm just so imaginative like this".

Like, shut up. Shut up. It's not fun living like this. It hurts. Especially after going on for aeons thinking the daydreams were helping, but I get to a point of realising that it's not, and it's not okay. I'm not okay.

*staring at a wall, all wide-eyed and shit taking in the music and listening to an elf rambling on about his rock collection*

"interesting...

I'm never going to get round to that assignment am I?"

Me @ my paras.

i wish you were with me right now i want a 2 hour long hug

At least I have my paras...

i constantly break my own heart by thinking i mean more to someone than i actually do

The FBI agent in my computer watching me silent scream-cry whilst I pull my hair out, staring at my college work for hours on end every day for the past 6 months before I start talking to myself and frantically pacing then freezing in a daydream attack: 👁️👄👁️

When someone catches me in the middle of a full on pacing, talking to myself, making facial expressions MaDD episode