Anaorexya - Tumblr Posts
I'm literally so tired all the time
I can feel it seeping into my bones
it's cold outside and I just want to sleep
I hate every part of me
my face
my back
my arms
my legs
my stomach
my feet
I look in the mirror nowadays and can't even recognize who I used to be
I'm a stranger in my own body
every now and again I can't help but think that I'm the problem, that I deserve everything that's ever happened to me just because of who I am
I'll never be good enough and I think I'm starting to accept that
Help me choose what to eat tomorrow!
Option 1🍏:
Gerber apple cinnamon puffs ( 150)
1 cup unsweetened almond milk (30)
*I would eat this like cereal for a total of 180 calories
Option 2🐟:
3 packets of lemon pepper tuna (210)
pickles (0)
* I would mix together for a total of 210 cal
Option 3🍄:
mushrooms (~15)
1/4 cup of Jasmine rice ( 160)
2 tbsps of low sodium soy sauce (20)
* I would stir it all together to make a mushroom rice for a total of 195 calories
Option 4🥣:
2/3 cup of Greek nonfat plain yogurt (130)
1 green apple (95)
1 tbsp of cinnamon (19)
*I would stir it all together for a delicious apple cinnamon yogurt for a total of 244 calories
I don't know why I'm crying
it hurts a lot
Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente
I genuinely believe that no one can ever love me for me and that really hurts
I just want to be loved as deeply as I love others
why can't you take the fucking hint that I don't wanna be here any longer?
I don't know what more to say or do to make you worry.
okay ik I said I hate eating but I literally just took the FATTEST shit for the first time in like a week😳 I feel sm better now lmao
you’d think I’d run out of tears by now
does anyone else hold off their bodily functions until they accomplish something?
like earlier I held my pee in for almost 2 hours until I finished my math homework
I bought new razors and the guilt of hiding them from my roommate is getting to me
it’s like I know they’re there but they don’t
and that somehow makes me feel worse
they think that I’m doing better
how do I tell them that I’m not?
I just need a month
A month to just fucking lose myself
A month of not being able to get out of bed
A month of not taking care of myself
A month of barely eating
A month of no responsibilities
A month of SH
A month of substance abuse
A month please
And then I’ll get my shit together
I promise
I am in a constant state of mourning
sleep is my only solace
✨🌕✨
guilt consumes me every second I’m awake