Aromantic Erasure - Tumblr Posts

Casual Aro-spec and A-spec Erasure 🙃

So, I was visiting a gallery in my home city, and they had some interesting items for sale. One of them was a neat-looking postcard from 1920s France that said "Bonne Année" (French for "Happy New Year"), and I wanted to buy it. The seller made some remark about how it will "attract my lover to me," I guess since it has a romantic picture on it. When I said that I only really want dogs in my life, she said that I'd eventually change my mind.

Then she told the cashier. They joked about it a bit, then started to put everything together so I could pay for the postcard.

I tried to just stay quiet and move on; I didn't want to cause trouble, especially since the seller knows one of my aunts. We talked about other things for a while, but then she brought it up again, unprompted. She said that I'd meet a man who's interested in the same things I am, and we'd connect. I said that I'd ideally just be friends with this hypothetical man, but she laughed it off and said once again that I'd change my mind.

So yeah. That was annoying. I know she didn't mean serious harm; she was very sweet and friendly to me otherwise, and she even gave me a 44% discount on the postcard when I went to buy it just for the heck of it. But man, I wish romance and physical attraction weren't always assumed to be parts of everyone's lives.

Are the holidays supposed to be this uncomfortable?

This Christmas felt way more awkward than usual for me.

Christmas Eve, at my cousin's house:

A big old dose of dysphoria from several of my relatives calling me "girl"

My cousin's boyfriend asking me what kind of swimsuit I wear, unprompted, then joking that I'd wear a bikini with a holster for a pistol like a Bond girl. I just wanted to show him cool pictures from a trip I went on earlier this year. :/

Same boyfriend, clearly drunk, making all sorts of racist remarks

Christmas Day, at my uncles' house:

Getting the old "you never know" when I say that marriage probably isn't in the cards for me

Generally feeling the need to walk on eggshells to make sure controversial topics (like my own freaking identity) don't come up; this side of the family leans heavily conservative Catholic fundamentalist

Getting to see my family always ends up being fun, but these parts were...oof.

actually hey btw, reminder that aromantic men and asexual men, like,,,, exist? and that just bc theyre men doesnt make their lack of romantic and/or sexual feelings "shallow" or "fake." i promise that men aren't always trying to trick you or lie to you or whatever, and denying aro/ace men's existence and validity only continues to hurt the entirety of the queer community.

hang on. there’s no way we’re revitalizing “are [cishet] aro people queer” discourse. it is almost 20-fucking-24. no. say sike right now. you’re all fucking ridiculous. how are we not only not over this, but bringing it up for active discourse again. and acting like the things being said are common discussion and not. blatant aphobia. which is homophobia. it’s queerphobia. did we never fucking learn from the many “they want us to fight amongst ourselves because if we’re divided it’s easier to ruin us” type talks that everyone was making a while ago. or was that a phase too. what happened to “anything not heteronormative is what queer is. anything with romance/sex/gender that’s othered from what society deems the “norm” is what we are. we are a community of outcasts because the greater community doesn’t want us either way.” what the shit.

I don't even LIKE hazbin or helluva, but i think that the fandom is a GREAT example of how piss-poor shippers act when a character is specifically stated to be aromantic and/or asexual. Alastor was specifically stated to be Aroace, but so many shippers just disregard it.

The complete disregard for Aromantic and Asexual folks is really disheartening, especially for aspec/arospec folks who want to put our own media out there.

Anyway, reblog this telling me about an aspec/arospec character or OC you really like. Can be from any media, I'm obviously not going to judge

Having both of my protagonists for my webcomic be aromantic can be a little daunting sometimes, because I've met so many people online that just completely disregard Aro and/or Ace rep in favour of shipping something.

Alloromantic folks are totally valid obviously, don't get me wrong, but like dude just let us Aromantics have SOMETHING.

It's honestly one of my biggest pet peeves with the internet.