Bpd Culture Is - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
10/11/2024 - 10/12/2024, 12:20 AM
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You wanna know what's worse than being a sexual assault victim?
Having someone accuse you of being a sexual assault victim when you never had any sexual encounters with anyone in your lifetime (as least nothing physical)
Literally just a few minutes ago, I was getting ready for bed, and the cops came over to my house. At first I thought "oh shit, did a car crash happen" since it's pretty common for accidents to happen at the intersection near my house.
Turns out, someone saw my advertisement saying that I was looking for a relationship (I am still looking for a partner btw, please check out that post if anyone's interested), and got so mad at me wanting to be in a relationship that they reported me to the police telling them that I was assaulted.
I want to make it clear: I was never sexually assaulted, nor do I recall being groomed by any particular person. I am simply a very horny femcel who had unrestricted internet access as a kid. There is no need to call the fucking cops on my ass at 11pm on a friday night because you're mad that I actually want a partner.
I feel like the "anonymous" person who did this was an ex friend that I split from weeks ago because they got all pissy at my vent blog n shit.
So here's my little message to them since they seem to love stalking my account (very long read, sorry):
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Gerard, just leave me the fuck alone Already.
You already ruined what we had when you not only ignored me for SEVERAL MONTHS on end and ignored my every attempt to try and communicate with you in the way I knew how to, but you then only came to me to complain that I was showing mentally ill traits that i can NOT control and traits you KNEW came from years of trauma that distorted my perception of relationships to where I would be willing to put myself in harm's way just to feel loved, and when you reported me to the fucking police, you basically killed any hope of me rebuilding a relationship with you.
Something I learned is that when you finally grow from being a child into being a teen, friendships and connections are very important for your development, and since I was your mostly stereotypical SPED kid with little to no social experience, I never got that, and therefore I idolized every friend I ever had up until I was about 14 years old (and even then I still had a lot of trust in them because I was so dependent on them to keep myself from being isolated forever.)
I believed that you loved me and cared about me for years, when we hung out, it felt like I was in one of those beautiful slice-of-life animes where the main character is having the best experience they could ever have. I was happy. The only exception to that was when I first developed a crush on Skyler and therefore developed homicidal thoughts against you (I didn't know it wasn't normal until years later), but even then, she got me to open up to you and love you again.
And guess what you did?
you took that trust, the trust of a venerable person with no social skills, and you just threw it out the window, like it was never important to anyone. And that fucking hurts honestly.
If i'll be honest, if I really was groomed like you are having everyone believe, then you are the groomer. You did this to me.
Just admit what has been exposed already and what everyone knows: you do not care about me or my wellbeing, you NEVER cared at all now that I think about it, and if you think that I still care for you after what you done, oh boy are you delusional (and not in the mentally ill way either). I wouldn't care if you died atp, you mean nothing to me anymore. I do not love you. If anything, I hate you.
I know there is nothing I can say to change your mind on me, but honestly, I fucking hate you, and I should've never trusted you.
I hope you fucking rot in hell you asshole. Thanks to your dumbass, my whole family now thinks that someone raped me or some shit, and it's probably on my legal record now too.
Just block me already and never try to contact me. I never want to see you again.
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people when mentally ill person is acting like theyre mentally ill
I feel so fucking drained rn to the point my interests are becoming less interesting to me and all of my friends hate me and I'm so fucking insecure that it's killing me from the inside out.
i don't think I'll be able to have the energy to carry on with my life atp..
REAL, and it gets worse when they actually confirm your beliefs by getting mad at you for having that belief in the first place.
i hate that BPD gives me such a lack of emotional permanence.
you can spend hours describing the ways in which you care about me, yet the moment you stop my brain will immediately decide you hate me and are destined to leave me.
10/15/2024
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Today I went to Walmart with my mom to get some groceries, and while we were in the bakery section, I saw some really pretty flowers. Roses, sunflowers, I think a couple of lilacs.. Just beautiful ones.
I know I'm aromantic, but I really wish a boy bought me a bouquet of flowers to make me feel special. I wished they kissed me on the cheek too while they were at it.
Why can't I get that kind of love without something coming in and fucking it up?
god I hate being single....