Mentally Unstable - Tumblr Posts
Anxiety attack
Well you all know I have anxiety. Well my prom is coming up and I really want to go. I get anxiety issues every time I think about it. I really want to go but my anxiety. What do I do?
This is so true. No one ever knows how I'm feeling fully.
“You don’t see me crying at night, you don’t know what I’m feeling inside. It’s amazing what a smile can hide.”
— Unknown
I'm not sure how much longer I am going to stick around if I'm no longer enough and can't give a single person what they want. I think I'm just going to say goodbye and see where life takes me or where my depression takes me. One or the other.
Sorry if I'm not good enough. Sorry if I can't give you what you want. Sorry for everything
Why try to make friends when in the end they stab you in the back? Like for real? I put forth the effort and try to make time to hang out then you turn around and never show up. You lie to me about the stupidest things and end up not a decent human being, you string me along. Not happening anymore, you've been blocked. I don't like being toyed with. If I'm not important enough for you to want to hang out with me then go toy with someone else.
omg maybe life is worth living [i had a decent day] —> i cannot be saved [the slightest inconvenience occurs] —> i am a fucking god and everyone loves me [someone laughed at my joke] —> i am going to kill myself [i feel a little bit unwanted because of someone’s reaction]
and this shit just goes on and on and NEVER stops
i think the worst part of your mental health being fucked up in a nonstereotypical way is im not even suicidal i just gotta live like this because i cant relate to any human person but im also not a pussy so i dont wanna die about it
Autistic Social Trauma
Autistic Qualia
i dont know how i made it to 19. i still feel like i should’ve died at 15. ive been crying for the last week because i cant come to terms with this. i wasnt supposed to make it this far. its only hitting me now that i have to be an adult and try to function normally. but i just cant. i have horrible anxiety that caused me to drop out of all of my classes on the first day of school and immediately switch to online. im unable to maintain a job as well. it makes me feel stupid and childish compared to other people my age. it really hurts knowing that i’ll have to live like this for the rest of my life. its become extremely tempting to just try and give up again.
I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I'm not interesting, I'm not funny, I'm not talented. What the fuck am I.
I kin two characters.
Tomoko from Watamote, and OMG Kawaii Angel from Needy streamer Overload.
Both of them got something in common: Internet addiction and mental illness (specifically the kind that makes you hate everyone and believe everyone hates you).
I am probably not okay :3
you know it’s getting bad again when it’s harder not to relapse, every little things annoys the shit out of you, you want to crawl out of your skin, the distractions don’t help anymore and not even your favorite special little treat makes your day better
I hate whenever my parents act like they care about my mental health then get all pissy at me when I tell them that I don't want to do school anymore even if I explain why, and I'm genuinely fucking tired of it.
I don't know about you motherfuckers, but when you are mistreated by the people around you CONSTANTLY for your entire life, without any breaks, and when that's done you're then blamed for it all, it really does take a toll on your mental health, and trust me when I say that it royally screwed my entire life over, I MEAN IT.
I had to face constant stigma and ableism for over 13 years, and the harder I tried to fix myself, the more people had pushed me away.
So, I'm gonna be BRUTALLY honest when I say this:
I've given up on wanting to go to college because it's way to expensive, I gave up on wanting a career because there's nothing out there worth doing, I gave up on even trying to find a job in the first place because nobody wants to hire a mentally unstable retard with no work experience, and overall I've just abandoned all of my passions and ambitions. All because people have kicked me when times got rough, and when I tried my best to make things right, it was never enough, they still kept pushing me down, and I just can't do it anymore.
And it doesn't help that my basic human rights are slowly being stripped away from me because I happen to be a disabled queer trans AFAB kid with a mental illness, basically meaning that by the time I make it to my 20's (if I don't kill myself before I make it to 18), I'll be living in a constant hellhole where I'll die in the worst ways possible to humankind.
All I'm ever going to be in life is this sad, mentally unstable, egotistical virgin who makes other people's life worse, and there is nothing I can do to change that, let alone anyone else.
I was doomed to be like this since the day I was born. And that's probably one of the hardest things I had to accept as a borderline auDHD person.
And that's the entire reason why I want to drop out of school, it's making my mental health worse anyway, and what's the point of being in school if I'm not gonna have a good life regardless??
And instead of actually listening to me, my bitch ass parents told me to suck it up and that my feelings were invalid and that I deserve to suffer, and honestly, fuck them.
"I was like you two when i was your age, and I regretted it, so you should stay in school" good for you i guess, but that won't change shit.
Stop pretending like I have a future, you're only making it worse.
good thing I'm suspended for 3 days so that I won't have to put up with school for the rest of the week...
Anyway I'm supposed to be working on homework rn, but I'm not going to because there is no reason to.
I was about to write an entire paragraph telling you to go fuck yourself, but yeah, this needs to be addressed more often.
I made multiple vents about my distorted perception of relationships, and how I have this really fucked up idea that all of my friends hate me and i should kms and shit, because get this: I ACTUALLY FEEL THAT WAY.
AND I LOST A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME THAT IT WAS MY FAULT AND THAT I SAY THESE THINGS FOR PITY POINTS (which i don't btw, I just talk about it to get it out of my system).
It makes my blood BOIL whenever people get mad that mentally ill people do mentally ill shit, and especially personality disorders in particular.
I genuinely feel so bad for the NPD community (bless their hearts btw /pos), because the amount of stigma against them is UNBEARABLE to watch. You hear shit a lot about "narcissist abuse", "all narcissists are evil and bad", and it blows my mind because the only people with NPD I met were some of the chillest and kindest people know
All i can say anymore is this: Stop getting mad at MENTALLY ILL people for doing MENTALLY ILL things.
Thank you.
Edit: Should mention that while yes, it doesn't excuse genuinely shitty behavior like abuse or rape, that doesn't mean all people with a mental illness are genuinely shitty for being mentally ill.
MENTAL ILLNESS IS AN EXCUSE!!!
Motherfuckers be offended when the mentally ill person acts actually mentally ill. If they could act "correct" they wouldn't be mentally ill you fucking asshole. Mental illness isn't a choice. Mental illness symptoms aren't a choice. Displaying mental illness symptoms, harmful or not, isn't a choice.
Disordered people act disordered, surprise bitch!
If someone without legs asked you to get them a glass of water, would you call them "manipulative" and "lazy" and accuse them of taking advantage of you to get them drinks? Would you tell them to "just walk"? (and I know some people genuinely would do this... I have no words for them)
No the NPD person can't just "not be less arrogant". BPD can't just "be normal". ASPD can't just "be nicer" or "learn to feel empathy". HPD can't just "stop making it about themselves." etc.
You're mixing genuinely mentally ill people up w/ "quirky" people that choose their "symptoms". It's not a choice for us. So stop expecting disordered people to just "be normal" or "keep it to themselves".
Disorders ARE an excuse for disordered behavior.
It hurts.
It hurts so much.
I need someone, anyone, to love me.
Being unlovable hurts.
It's the pain of knowing that noone can ever love me the way I love them.
To love the way I do is to burn and scratch open my skin just to try and show you a part of me.
It's to always wait for something.
people when mentally ill person is acting like theyre mentally ill
