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Prompt -  'So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night.’

You felt like you could hardly sit still as you sat at a small table furthest away from the door, trying to get the most amount of privacy for the conversation that was to come. Outside the window snow fell down and you rubbed your hands together, both out of nerves and in an attempt to warm them up.

You had played and replayed how this conversation was going to go a million times over in your head, planned what to say only to scrap each idea as nothing you came up with felt good enough.

The drink you had ordered had been placed on your table only seconds before the bell jingled to announce the door opening and you barely had time to thank the waitress before your mouth went dry. As much as you wanted this conversation, as grateful as you were for it, there was another part of you that wanted to run away.

But you couldn’t run away again, not when you were being given a second chance, even if it was only to have one last conversation before living the rest of your life with regrets over what could've been.

You watched as he scanned the rooms, cheeks red from the cold, before his eyes landed on you. You hated the tension clearly readable even from across the room and how he seemed to have to force his feet to make their way over to you.

“Hi.” He greeted softly, his voice sending an ache through you and you had to force yourself to swallow past the lump in your throat as he sat in the seat across from you.

“Hey,” Your voice was just as soft as his was, if a little more obviously shaky. “Thank you for coming, I’m so glad you made time to see me.”

“Yeah, well, I,” Buck started before he trailed off and shook his head. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” You told him with a small smile, meaning it with every part of you. It had only been two or so weeks since you had last seen him but you had missed him more than words could say. “How is everything? How’s the 118, I haven’t seen them since-” You cut yourself off, neither you or Buck needing you to finish that sentence.

“Things are good, work’s busy but I guess it always is more hectic around the holidays.” He smiled and even though it didn’t meet his eyes you were so glad to see it. “Everyone else is good, Christopher misses you.”

“I miss him too.” Breaking up with Buck was bad but it wasn’t just him you had lost, you had lost the friendship you had made with his friends. You didn’t blame any of them for cutting you off, they were his friends first and would always be in his corner before yours but you missed them all so much.

“How’ve you been?” Buck asked and you couldn’t stop the frown that pulled at your lips because truth be told you hadn’t been great but you wouldn’t tell Buck that, not when it was your fault you were having sleepless night after sleepless night, replaying the same scene, the same conversation, over in your head a million times. You spent nights crying when the memories of weekend trips invaded your mind, summer adventures where Buck drove and you sat at his side, watching him laugh as the two of you sung loudly to the radio, remembered the nights tucked against his chest with his arms wrapped around you and feeling safer than you had ever felt in your whole life.

“I’m okay.” Was about as much as you could muster up and Buck glanced away from you for only a moment before his focus was back on you. The lump in your throat was back and you forced it down, as well as the stinging you felt in the back of your eyes.

The small talk was painful to both of you, the reason why you were here hanging heavily in the air but you were still desperately trying to think of the right thing to say. Buck’s guard was so obviously up and for good reason to. You’d hurt him, you knew he had been hurt before, left behind without a second thought and you had done the same to him.

How could you tell him the reason when you didn’t fully understand why you had done it yourself? How could you tell him that you had panicked, that he had been so perfect, so incredible, always thoughtful, always putting you first, how could you tell him that it was so serious that it had scared you.

Part of you knew he would have understood if you had handled it better, if you had sat him down and told him that this was the most serious relationship you’d ever had, that you loved him more than anything and that terrified you. For some reason you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to do that though, to handle it maturely and take a breath, instead you had walked away in a panic only to regret it every day since.

Buck had every reason to keep his distance now, he had every reason not to show up at all but you were glad he had. You loved him so much and if you ever had a second chance with the man you would never take it for granted.

You shifted in your seat, sitting up straighter and wrapped your hands around your mug just for something to do with them. The lump in your throat seemed to be stuck there but you took another breath and forced yourself to address the reason you had asked Buck to come here.

No part of you was expecting him to take you back but you at least owed him an explanation. People were good at leaving Buck without one and after all the goodness and kindness he had treated you with he at least deserved a reason, he deserved to not spend anymore nights blaming himself and wondering what had gone wrong.

“I’m sorry,” you began and watched as Buck sat up straighter too, his eyes wide and sad as he looked at you and you felt your heart ache. “I’m sorry for that night, Buck. I regret it more than I’ve regretted anything.”

“Why?” Was all Buck was able to choke out and seeing the tears in his eyes made yours sting.

“I wish there was a good reason, Buck. I wish I could tell you something that doesn’t sound as pathetic as the truth.” You told him, voice cracking as you spoke and your grip on the mug tightened.

“Just tell me, Y/N/N, I need to know because I have spent every night agonising over what I did wrong.” He forced out, a single tear sliding down his cheek but he made no move to wipe it away. “I thought we were good.”

“We were, Buck. I promise you, if you don’t believe anything else I say believe this, you were perfect. You were so much more that I could ever ask for, so much more than I deserve and it terrified me. It terrified me Buck because I have never felt this way about anyone in my whole life and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know what to do with the fact that I love you Buck, I love you so much and I’m not saying this to win you back, I know I hurt you and that, that is unforgivable because you were nothing but amazing and you didn’t deserve me walking out on you and for that, Buck, I am so sorry.” By the end of the short speech tears were sliding down both your cheeks and you were glad you had sat at the back in the far corner of the room, grateful for the privacy.

“Y/N,” Buck whispered but couldn’t seem to say anything else and you smiled at him, a smile filled with sadness and regret.

“I’m so, so sorry, Buck.” You repeated shakily, “I said this wasn’t me trying to get you back and I meant that but I have spent every night since that night regretting not just talking to you, every night missing you more than anything. If I could go back and change it, go back and just talk to you, God Buck, I'd do it in a heartbeat and I’d understand you never wanting to see me again, to walk away and be done with me-”

“I love you too, Y/N/N.” Buck told you softly, cutting off whatever you were going to say next and you were glad for the interruption both because you had no idea what you were actually saying, the words just falling out of you, but also because you got to hear Buck tell you he loved you for the first time. “I love you so much and trust me I was scared too, hell Bobby and Eddie can tell you how many nights I kept them up talking about it so I get it, I just wished you’d talked to me before leaving.”

The two of you were sat with tears falling down your cheeks, looking at one another with love, sadness, hope, as well a whole mix of other emotions. Despite not knowing what was going to happen, for the first time since you’d left Buck you felt like you could breathe again, like the weight that had been sitting on your chest for weeks was finally gone and you couldn’t help but smile at Buck.

“I wish I could change how I handled it.” You told him softly and he just smiled back at you, reaching across the table and gently pried your hand off the mug to wrap in his hand, his thumb brushing gently against your knuckles.

“Promise me that next time you’ll just talk to me, Y/N. I can’t handle you walking away again.” Buck told you and your eyebrows knitted together before his words fully registered and your eyes widened.

“Next time? Buck I-”

“You were scared and overwhelmed and didn’t know how to handle it. I told you I get it but we have to talk about these things, I don’t want to lose you.” Buck cut you off and you couldn’t help but smile at his words even as more tears filled your eyes.  

“I promise, Buck.” You told him sincerely, still in disbelief that he was so open to fixing things, to not holding your mistake against you.

God, you loved him so much.

“Good because these last few weeks have been hell.” He laughed even as a few more tears slid down his cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, Buck.” You said softly and the two of you just sat there for a moment longer, unable to look away from each other, unable to stop smiling as you did.

You might not have been able to go back in time, back to that first week of December where you had walked out of Buck’s apartment with tears sliding down your cheeks, but somehow you were here now with Buck, Buck who had the biggest heart you knew, Buck who would bend over backwards to help anyone, Buck who had the capacity to forgive no matter how many times he got hurt.

You swore to yourself as you squeezed the hand still holding yours that you would never take him for granted, would never let another day go by you don’t tell him you loved him, would never mess up your second chance with Buck.

______

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Prompt - ‘Now this is an open-shut case I guess I should've known from the look on your face.’

Whenever Buck was around things were just easier. He made everything around him lighter, always there with a warm smile and would do anything for anyone. It hadn’t taken long for the two of you to become friends, to be inseparably joined at the hip. It wasn’t just that you worked well together, able to read each other without needing words, you were close once the shift ended, whereas most people who spent as much time as you did with your colleagues would part ways, you and Buck left together and spent hours at each other's side.

You knew that your feelings for Buck went deeper than just friendship, it was obvious to anybody looking at the pair of you that you were half way in love with the man. It was also painfully obvious that Buck was right there with you but you couldn’t see it, not even when the others told you about the way Buck looked at you, not even when they insisted that the two of you would be perfect together.

When you looked at Buck you couldn't see how he felt, sure he was all soft smiles and gentle touches but he was the same with all his friends. You couldn’t guess from the look on his face that he could want more than what you had.

You often found yourself getting lost around Buck, gazing at him whilst he spoke as you tried to see what the others claimed was obvious but you never could. Occasionally you thought something could have been there, some longing glance or adoring look but you always shook your head, convincing yourself that you were just seeing what you wanted to see.

You were content with what you had though, you had to be otherwise it would drive you crazy, you had to be because if you weren’t it meant you’d mess up what you already had with Buck and you couldn’t do that. You’d rather silently pine whilst dreaming about what it would be like to love Buck and be loved back than not have him around at all.

It drove the others crazy that neither of you could see what could be, how easy it would be for the two of you to have one little conversation that would lead to so much happiness. They'd watched you and Buck from day one, seen the way your eyes were immediately drawn to him as Bobby introduced you to the team, saw the way Buck jumped at every opportunity to show you around and helped you with the copious amounts of chores given to you as a probie.

The two of you were perfect for each other, you could go from bantering and teasing into deep and meaning conversations, you were capable of getting Buck to let down his walls, him telling you things he had never shared with anyone before, likewise Buck was probably the person on the planet who knew you best. Whilst it was tempting to shake the two of you by the shoulders until you saw sense or lock you in a room until things were resolved everybody knew that you and Buck had to do this alone, with or without their intervention it was pretty much guaranteed that you two would get together.

It wasn’t just in the way you and Buck could flip between serious and playful when the situation called for it. It was the way you would take one look at Buck, needing only a second to scan his features, before you disobeyed Bobby’s direct orders and followed Buck into a burning building, trusting his judgement and following where he went without a second thought, knowing you’d follow him wherever he went for as long as he’d have you whether it was into his car on the way home or into the flames. It was the way he wrapped his arm around you so casually drawing you closer to him, the way his hand squeezed yours so softly in the truck whenever he could see a call had affected you. It was the way you sat on the counter as you watched him dance around as he spent hours cooking a meal just for the two of you. It was the little moments that would be so meaningless to others that you held close, that made you fall further and further for Buck.

There were so many times you’d just wanted to beg him to show you he felt the same, beg him to take your hand and never let go. You were content with what you had but you could selfishly want more too.

Despite the fact that both of you wanted so badly, nothing happened between the two of you for years, long painful years filled with the most beautiful memories. By this point you knew it was love, there wasn’t another word for the rush of emotions you still felt whenever Buck smiled at you, whenever you watched him scoop Christopher up to greet him, when you watched him punch at the bags in the gym, when he held you in his arms, it was love.  

The others liked to joke that it would take a miracle for you and Buck to finally see that you had practically been dating for all this time. It seemed the universe agreed with the sentiment of wanting you and Buck together but instead of a miracle it gave you a tragedy instead.

It was a call that sounded bad from the get-go and by the time you rolled up to the scene the fire was out of control, already engulfing the two buildings to the side of it. If it was bad outside it was even worse inside. Obviously you were used to feeling the heat of the flames way too close for comfort, it was the job after all, but something about this one felt different, the flames engulfed everything around them, the ceiling was collapsing in on each floor, cutting off exits. Smoke was thick in the air as you made your way through the building, Buck ahead of you as he cleared the way before helping you through.

In the distance a floor or two up you could hear a child crying hysterically, choking on tears and smoke but at least they were still breathing. You and Buck didn’t know how much time you had but it wasn’t long so the two of you tried to work your way upwards, the stairs not an option anymore. You made it up one floor, the sweat pouring off both of you when the radios cracked to life.

“118, evacuate the building.” Bobby’s voice called through and Buck’s head whipped around to look at you, his eyes shifting from yours to the ceiling, the child’s cries closer now. “I repeat evacuate the building, it’s been declared too unstable, it’s going to crumble any moment.”

You and Buck stayed silent, gazes locked on each other for a few seconds as the rest of the team confirmed they were moving out.

“Buck, Y/N, come in.” Bobby called and Buck shook his head.

“What do you want to do?” You asked him, knowing already what his answer would be. Neither of you would be able to leave without at least trying.

“I’m not leaving.” Buck told you and you nodded that was all you needed and you gestured for him to carry on. “Y/N/N, you gotta leave.”

“Not happening, Buck. Hurry, we don't have long.” You told him, seeing the wide eyed soft look he was giving you behind his helmet and any other time you’d be lost in that expression, thinking it over and over but right now wasn’t the time.

“Take my hand.” Buck said as he struggled over the rubble, holding a hand out to help you and you slid your hand into his palm, even with the heavy uniform you couldn’t help but savour the moment.

Bobby’s voice called through the radio again and as you and Buck headed towards the crying child you listened to Buck arguing with him, refusing to leave before turning the radio off completely.

“If we get out of here alive Bobby’s gonna kill you for that.” You told him and couldn't help the pull of your lips as he laughed before pulling himself up another floor, using the rubble to help him.

“Yeah probably but what else is new?” He grinned, holding his hand out again for you and you let him help you pull you up.

The whole building seemed to shake and Buck grabbed onto your arms, pulling you closer as you waited for something to happen, neither of you breathing until a few seconds passed and the building just about stayed standing.

The sound of the child’s screeching cries snapped you back into action, both of your heads turning right in the direction before Buck let go of you with a nod. You nodded back and followed after him with careful steps, keeping your eyes on Buck and desperately trying to focus on him and not the building that was minutes away from collapsing.

“I got her!” Buck called as he climbed through the rubble and picked the child up, she couldn’t have been more than four, her face red and tear stained as more flooded down her cheeks. “C’mere kid, I gotcha.”

Buck picked the girl up and she went willingly, clinging to Buck’s neck as he walked back over to the pile of rubble blocking the room.

“Hey, I’m gonna pass you to my friend, is that alright? She’s real nice and she’ll take care of you.” Buck murmured to the girl and you couldn’t help but smile as he pried her fingers off him and gently passed her through the gap he had made. “That’s it, you got her.”

Just as you took the girl from him the building gave another violent shake that had you and Buck freezing again, the girl letting out a cry as she buried her head against your coat. This shake was worse than the one earlier and lasted longer and you felt sick to your stomach as you kept your eyes on Buck. Buck went to say something, you could see his mouth opening before he frowned and looked up just as the building shook again and before you could even register what was happening Buck had disappeared from view and where he had stood was now filled with rubble.

You were frozen to the spot for a few seconds before you let out a shuddering breath, head shaking as tears filled your eyes.

“Buck!” You yelled, knowing it was wrong but you placed the girl against the opposite wall and began trying to dig your way through the rubble, desperately calling Buck’s name as you struggled against the heavy pieces of ceiling.

“Buck please, come on!” You sobbed before snatching your radio from your coat and calling for Bobby.

“Y/N, what happened? The two of you need to get out of there now!” Bobby ordered but you shook your head, tears falling down your cheeks as you struggled to breath. “Y/N!”

“Bobby,” You choked out, “Bobby I’ve got a kid here but I can’t, I can’t leave him, Bobby, please.”

You would be surprised if Bobby could make out your words, your breath coming out in quick panicked gasps and you were choking on tears as you let the radio go to keep trying to dig through the rubble, making no progress, every time you moved one piece three more seemed to fill its place.

The radio was silent for a few moments before Bobby’s voice came through again.

“Stay where you are, I'm coming in.” Bobby told you and before the radio cut off you could hear somebody protesting but you didn’t care. Bobby would come in and get the girl and you knew you weren’t leaving without Buck.

The flames were closing in and you knew you didn’t have long left. From below you could hear footsteps and you looked towards the room Buck was trapped in and the flames quickly creeping towards the opening you’d used to get onto this floor.

You picked the girl up again and ran over to the opening, already seeing Bobby, Chimney and Eddie coming towards you, putting out as many of the flames as they could. You were already lowering the girl down and Chimney was quick to grab her but you didn’t stick around after that, you were instantly back at the pile of rubble, gloved hands desperately trying to free Buck.

“Buck, Buck please, please I need you. I can’t lose you, not you.” You sobbed out, pleading with anyone who would listen to just let Buck be ok. There was so much left unsaid between the two of you and you promised yourself you’d tell him everything, you’d tell him you loved him, tell him you didn’t ever want to picture your life without him at your side, you tell him everything if you got the chance to.

You hadn’t even heard Bobby and Eddie join you until you saw their hands dragging rubble away too. The building gave another shake but this time you didn’t freeze, you kept digging, kept pleading, kept sobbing. You needed to get Buck out.

Finally, finally, you managed to get into the room. The ceiling had caved in, crashing down into the room and bringing furniture from upstairs through with it. It was bad but thankfully not bad enough that you couldn’t move around the room. Your eyes found Buck immediately, trapped underneath a piece of rubble, a cut on his head was bleeding and his eyes were closed.

Between the three of you, you managed to free Buck from the rubble, you couldn’t see if he was more injured than just the head wound with the coat covering him but you prayed that he was fine, he had to be because you didn’t know what you’d do if he wasn’t.

The building was shaking now, the foundation ready to crumble and Bobby and Eddie wasted no time in lifting Buck between them and quickly but carefully carried him from the building. Just as Buck was being loaded into the ambulance you heard a rumble and glanced behind you just in time to see the building cave in on itself, the two next to it following in suit.

You didn’t care though, just climbed into the ambulance next to Buck and sat still as you watched the paramedics assess him. Silent tears made their way down your face but you couldn’t stop the choked sob that escaped you when they took his coat off and saw a blood soaked shirt underneath.

The paramedic cut the shirt off to reveal a wound that was still bleeding, the blood seemingly just pouring out. It looked like a piece of the rubble or something else that had fallen through when the ceiling had managed to practically slice him deeply from his stomach across to just above his hip.

“Is he gonna be ok?” You asked and the paramedic shot you a look before getting to work on cleaning and trying to stop the bleeding.

It was still bleeding when you got to the hospital.

They rushed him into surgery as soon as he was out of the ambulance and you followed him into the hospital, told to wait in the waiting room. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do so you did nothing, you stood where they had left you, people moving around you like you were nothing more than a ghost, only able to stand and stare at the doors Buck had been taken behind.

You had no idea how long you stood there, still as a statue with tears falling down your face, but eventually there was a hand on your shoulder. You still didn’t move but you at least registered when Bobby moved to stand in front of you, his own eyes teary but ever the leader he didn’t let them fall, not whilst his team needed him.

“Come on, there’s a room for us to wait in.” Bobby told you softly but you barely heard the words, they sounded like you were underwater, drowning in fear and panic and you could do nothing but wait and see if you’d sink or swim.

Bobby gently took your hand in his and you let him lead you through the halls of the hospital, paying no attention to your surroundings. The rest of the team were already in the room, looking up when you entered but you barely even saw them. Bobby just shook his head and led you to one of the seats, softly pushing you into it before taking the seat next to you.

You didn’t know how long you had sat there, staring ahead but not seeing anything, your thoughts racing, picturing a million and one different scenarios. There were so many things you wanted to say, needed to say. If something happened to Buck, if the worst case scenario happened and he didn’t know you loved him, it would haunt you for the rest of your life.

Bobby’s hand periodically squeezing yours in a gentle but firm grip was the only thing keeping you grounded to reality. Hours passed by without you noticing, no doctors had entered the private waiting room the team had been given. No news was good news though you supposed, it at least meant that Buck was still alive and that was all you could ask for right now.

Eventually though somebody did interrupt the silence, a tired looking doctor entered the room and everyone was immediately on their feet, not daring to breathe as they waited to hear the verdict.

“Mr Buckley made it through the surgery successfully,” the doctor told you all and there was a collective sigh of relief throughout the room, your hand squeezing Bobby’s tightly. “We were able to stop the bleeding and stitch up the wound on his stomach.”

“So he’s going to be ok?” Eddie asked and you felt your heart stop as the doctor was silent for a beat too long. “He’s gonna be ok, right?”

“The wound on the stomach won’t be an issue. It’s the head wound we’re worried about. After taking scans we can see swelling but won’t be able to determine how serious it is until Mr Buckley wakes up.” The doctor said and you felt a fresh wave of tears fill your eyes.

“And when will he wake up?” Bobby asked, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye  before focusing on the man.

“I can’t say for sure, it could be a matter of hours or it could be days.” The doctor informed you honestly and you took a shaky breath, speaking for the first time in hours.

“Can we see him?” You asked, voice cracking on the words and you felt Bobby’s thumb brush along your skin comfortingly.

“I’m afraid only one of you will be allowed in the room with him and visiting hours will be over in an hour.” The doctor said before giving the group directions to Buck’s room and excusing himself.

“Go on then, Y/N/N.” Eddie said, causing you to look over at him with a frown but before you could say anything he spoke again. “He’d want it to be you.”

You were silent for a few moments, looking around at the rest of the team who smiled and nodded at you and you suddenly felt a huge burst of love for these people who had become your family. When you turned to Bobby he smiled softly down at you before giving your hand one last squeeze and letting go.

“Thank you.” You managed to choke out before leaving the room and following the doctor's directions.

You had to pause outside of his room before you could enter, looking in through the window at Buck in the bed. He looked peaceful, he didn't look like he was in pain, paler than he should have been and a line of stitches trailing up into his hairline from his forehead.

You took another shaky breath before forcing your feet forward and into the room, sitting down on the edge of the only chair placed next to the bed and taking Buck’s hand in yours carefully.

“I don’t know if you can even hear me,” You said after a long beat of silence where you could only run your eyes across his features. “But if you can, I really need you to wake up, Buck, because I can’t lose you. You’re the best thing in my life and the thought of you not being here with me-”

You cut yourself of with a choked sob, leaning forward until your forehead rested against your joined hands. For so long it had been you and Buck, inseparable, the closest of friends, never seeing one without the other. Of course in your line of work it was always a possibility that something would happen but you tried to ignore it, until moments like this, until you couldn’t anymore. You knew full well you were all in with Buck, in it until the end, just like how you knew that if you hadn’t been able to get him out of that building before then you wouldn’t have left either.

“You have to come back to me because there’s so much I need to tell you, so much I should have already said but I couldn’t but we don’t know what’s gonna happen and we should take every chance we can to be happy, right? And it’s you Buck, it’s always been you who makes me happy. It’s always been you.” You told him, knowing he couldn’t hear you but still it felt good to say it out loud. “Because I love you, Buck. I knew from the moment I met you that one day it would be love.”

You didn’t say more than that, you couldn’t bring yourself to speak through the tears and quiet sobs. Time seemed to pass too quickly because before you knew it a nurse was knocking on the door, giving you a sympathetic smile as she told you visiting hours were over.

You nodded at her and stood up, wiping at your cheeks and ignoring the way more tears replaced them and instead leaned down to place a kiss to Buck’s cheek, letting yourself linger there for a few seconds before pulling away with a whispered goodbye. Once you left the room you only managed to get to the end of the hallway before your knees gave out and sobs wracked your body.

You never hit the floor though, strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you into a chest, fingers carding through your hair. You couldn’t make out what the voice was saying but you could feel the rumbles. You couldn’t see through the tears but that didn't matter, the arms felt safe and your hand came up to clutch at a shirt.

You didn’t remember moving but you felt yourself being sat down on a chair and brought deeper into a pair of arms. You couldn’t say how long you sat like that for before the sobs turned into shuddering breaths and the world started to come back to you.

“There you go, that’s it, just breathe.” The voice was saying and you pushed away from the chest when you recognised it as Bobby’s voice. “You’re ok, take it easy.”

“What are you still doing here?” You managed to choke out, voice hoarse from how much crying you’d done today.

“I wasn’t going to leave you alone. I already called Athena and told her I’d be staying with you tonight, you wouldn’t mind the company would you?” Bobby asked and again you felt so much love fill you because you had no doubt that if it wasn’t Bobby insisting on being her for you it would be one of the others.

“Thank you.” You told him sincerely, nodding your head whilst desperately trying to choke back more tears. “Seriously Bobby, thank you.”

“It’s what families are for.” Bobby shrugged like it was no big deal but both of you knew how meaningful it was, this team who had become a family, who loved each other so deeply meant everything.

Since you’d rode in the ambulance and Bobby had followed behind in the truck, Bobby ordered the two of you an Uber, waiting outside in the cool air for it to arrive. It wasn’t long before you were home, taking a shower because the smell of smoke and fire clung to your skin.

It felt wrong to be here when Buck was still at the hospital, he should be here with you, but there was nothing more you could do tonight. Tomorrow you’d be back at his side bright and early until you were forced to leave again but for right now you let Bobby gently push you onto the couch and press a warm mug into your hands.

It went on like that for days, you were at the hospital every day and Bobby sorted the time off for you back at the station. You didn’t think you could pull yourself back to work if you tried, the thought of doing the job without Buck at your side was unthinkable.

Bobby had taken to picking you up every night from the hospital, it was an unspoken arrangement, you just left Buck’s room and the man was always there waiting for you. Each night he took you to his and Athena’s, who welcomed you with open arms and a warm meal that they both made sure you ate, knowing full well you weren't eating at the hospital.

It was on the fifth day that things changed, two days after hearing doctors murmur about their concerns of Buck not waking up yet, five days of sitting at Buck’s side for hours on end, talking away about anything and everything just to fill the silence.

On the fifth day you entered Buck’s room the minute the hospital allowed visitors and took up your regular seat, taking his hand in yours before placing a soft kiss to the back of his. It was how you started every morning visit. The first few hours nothing happened and then just after twelve you heard a groan fall from Buck’s lips, your head snapping up at the noise.

You stared at Buck, wide eyed and not daring to blink as if it would ruin any chance of him waking up. It took a while but you watched as Buck’s face scrunched up before he swallowed heavily, tilting his head to the side and shifting to get comfortable before he finally managed to force his eyes open.

When he saw you you were already crying, silent tears trailing down your cheeks as you smiled at him in relief.

“What happened?” Buck managed to slur out before he started coughing with how dry his throat felt and you wasted no time pouring water into a cup and holding it to Buck’s lips. “Are you ok?”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at the question, here Buck was finally waking up after five days of recovering, stitches on his head and stomach after being crushed by rubble and he was asking if you were ok.

God, you loved him.

“Are you ok?” You asked instead, watching as his lips twitched upwards. “Are you in pain? Should I get a doctor? I should definitely get a doctor.”

You went to stand but Buck stopped you, tightening his grip on your hand and keeping you in place. You turned back to face him and that’s when you saw it. It was the look, the one the others kept telling you about, the one with soft eyes filled with love and adoration, the one with a smile that to most people wouldn’t seem particularly special but if you knew what you were looking for you could see it was so important. It was the look and you were finally seeing it, you couldn’t convince yourself you were looking into it too much, couldn’t convince yourself your mind was playing tricks on you because it was right in front of you and it was beautiful.

“Don’t go.” Buck murmured, his voice hoarse and not able to go above a whisper but you heard the plea clearly anyway. “Just…just stay with me.”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be.” You told him honestly, squeezing his hand and not able to look away from his face.

Eventually you were able to snap yourself out of trance you regularly seemed to get lost in around Buck, long enough so that you could fill him in on what had happened and how long he’d be out of it. As you spoke Buck never lost that soft look, never once let his eyes wander away from you and it took all your strength to bite your tongue and not tell Buck how you felt.

Until you realised that you didn’t have to do that anymore. You had promised yourself you’d tell Buck and maybe half an hour after he’d woken up from a five day slumber wasn’t the best time but suddenly you felt the overwhelming urge to do it, feeling like you couldn’t wait another day.

“What’s wrong?” Buck asked, his attention solely on you so he noticed the shift in your features, the slight crease in between your eyebrows, the way your head tilted as you looked at him but your mind was clearly somewhere else.

“I thought you were gonna die.” You forced out around the sudden lump in your throat, frown deepening because those weren’t the words you meant to say. “I thought you were gonna die and I was so scared. Once that rubble came down so did so many regrets, so many things I wanted to tell you but I was too scared to but then you were gone and I needed you to know them because you couldn’t die without knowing.”

“Knowing what?” Buck asked softly, already guessing where this was going, already feeling warmth spreading through his chest at the chance that you felt the same way he had, that he hadn’t been pining alone.

“Without knowing that seeing you is the highlight of my day, without knowing that any day I let pass without talking to you, it just isn’t a good day. Without knowing how deeply I care about you, without knowing that I trust you more than anyone, that I’d follow you wherever you went. You were lying here and I didn’t know if you were going to wake up and the one thing above everything that I needed you to know is that I am so in love with you.” You told him, not taking your eyes off him and watching his face soften even more if it were possible, watching as his eyes watered slightly but he managed to keep any tears from falling.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, unable to say anything for a moment but you weren’t worried, you didn’t take it as a bad sign, you couldn’t, not now that you’d seen that look.

You had to curse yourself slightly because how had you missed that look, it had been years of Buck looking at you like that and you’d missed it. If you had seen that look so long ago any questions regarding Buck’s feelings for you would have been an open-shut case, you would have known from the look on his face that he wanted you as much as you wanted him.

“I’ve wanted to hear that for so long, wanted to tell you that for so long because it’s true, I love you more than I thought I could love anyone. For so long I didn’t think I was capable of loving somebody like I love you, I thought I was too messed up from everything. But then I met you and, Y/N/N I knew from the moment I met you that you were going to be so important. I should have told you years ago but I couldn’t see how somebody like you could feel the same way. But I love you, Y/N, I love you so, so much.” Buck told you, the two of you smiling at each other with matching grins, so happy it was almost too much but you both basked in the feeling.

And everyone was right, nothing changed when the two of you started dating. You came into work together and left together, you stayed over at each other's places until you had found yourself all but moved into Buck’s place already and it just became second nature to call his place home. The only difference was now there were no secret feelings, no wishful, longing glances. Now you could say that’s my man and Buck could take your hand in his, now you kissed Buck whenever you wanted just because you could and neither of you took a day together for granted, not when you had spent so many years pining where you could have been together so now you made sure to savour each day.

Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) 

@navs-bhat​​, @nashja​​, @valluvsu​​, @alexxavicry​​, @deathjawd​​, @lastwandastan​, @darling-seraphina​​, @dizzytearss​,  @pretty-npeach​, @kpopperbree123​, @irishavengersassemble​, @hoplessromantic17​, @kitten-xoxxo​  

Thank you so much for reading!🤎

starts off on my birthday?? extra points!!!

You'll Be Safe Here

After a very lovely request from @senjoritanana I have decided to make an Eddie x Reader x Buck series. I hope you will all like it, feedback always inspires me. Enjoy.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@butlegendsneverdie@langdonzvoid@jennyggggrrr@rogmeddows@radiob-l-a-hblah@rogertaylorsbitontheside@chlobo6@rogertaylors-lipgloss@sj-thefanthefan@omgitsearly@luckytrashgooprebel@scarsout@deaky-with-a-c@killer-queen-ofrhye@bluutac@vousmemanqueez-blog@jonesyaddiction@milanosaurus@httpfandxms@saint-hardy@7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls@mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom

911 Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) makes her escape to LA for a fresh start, but she gets more than she bargained for with her two roommates. Two firefighters. One who doesn't seem to like her very much. And both make her realise she can't run away from everything.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh!" Closing her eyes on instinct, (Y/n) tensed her muscles and went rigid, freezing on the spot when she crashed into what was as hard and rough as a brick wall. But when her hands reached out for something, anything, to steady herself, they found a pair of broadened shoulders.

The sudden jolt made (Y/n) shiver but her mouth fell open and her jaw hung slack when she suddenly felt water dribble down her neck, onto her shoulder and trickle down her shirt towards her bra. She shivered, trying not to make another sound while her mind went into overdrive trying to figure out what had just landed on her. She was inside, so it couldn't be raining unless she had some sort of personal thundercloud hovering over her head like in a cartoon.

Her nails scrunched up the silky, somewhat damp material her hands landed on as her shoulders unintentionally rose up towards her jaw.

She hadn't walked into a wall. She had walked into a someone.

It took a lot of effort and inward persuasion for (Y/n) to make herself open her eyes and glance up to see what- no, who, she had walked into.

He was tall. Her eyeline barely scraped his shoulders that were round and tense and hunched up in a way that made (Y/n) think of anger. The material she was still clinging to, which happened to be his shirt, looked like gym clothing. It was a pastel grey with dark blue stripes running down the sides beneath his arms and she realised it was damp beneath her touch because he was sweating.

The shirt was glued to his chest like a second layer of skin and it showed every ridge, every tense muscle and each deep, sensored breath he took.

For some reason, (Y/n) wasn't sure she wanted to drag her eyes up and see his face. She knew why when she looked up at his rather handsome face. He didn't look happy.

His pupils were dilated, they were so black and deep that all (Y/n) could see of his iris was a small ring of turquoise blue outlining each pupil. Despite his wide eyes, they were starting to narrow in on her like he was scrutinising her and why she was suddenly leaning on him with bent knees and timid eyes.

A trickle of sweat rolled down the bridge of his slightly curved nose and dropped over the upturned end, falling onto his very deep rouge lips that were slightly parted so he could pant. And his hair was a dark shade of blond like when the tide took over the sand and dragged it into the ocean. His hair was forming small ringlets and tiny curls that were growing frivilous with sweat.

When (Y/n) looked back down to his lips, she realised it wasn't just sweat that was clinging to them. He had a trickle of water smearing his lower lip and tracks down his chin that glistened in the bright sunlight from the windows behind her.

The water bottle in his tense, clenched hand made (Y/n)'s eyes widen. She had walked straight into him when he was having a drink; that was why her neck and shoulder were now wet.

"I- I'm so sorry," Before she could stop herself, (Y/n) brushed her thumb over his chin, cleaning the trace of water but her action took him by surprise. He wasn't expecting such a gesture or the very delicate touch from a stranger and it made his eyes constrict and zoom in on her with curiosity.

With a shuddering breath, (Y/n) realised she was still leaning on him and she corrected herself immediately. She leaned back on her own two feet and retracted her hands from his chest, folding her arms up to her chest and interlocking her fingers to stop her bursting sense of panic.

"Who are you?" Evan swiped the back of his hand against his mouth, cleaning away the last bit of water he had spat out when she stumbled into him.

It hadn't been his fault. He walked into the apartment and round the corner, not expecting anyone to be inside his home, much less a strange girl who hadn't expected him to be around the corner either.

He couldn't stop his eyes from following the trace of water that trickled down the side of her exposed neck like a raindrop falling onto a window. He watched it pass over her collar bone and sneak beneath her top which was when Evan lifted his eyes back to her face before he stared at the wrong place.

He watched her take her lower lip between her teeth and stretch her entwined fingers, pressing them down against her chest almost like she was giving herself CPR.

She looked as frightened as a wild rabbit.

"(Y/n)… I- um," Her head turned to the right and she peered over her shoulder before anxiously looking back at him.

"Eddie!" Evan hollered, tilting his head back and rolling his lips into a thin line. He moved one hand to hold (Y/n)'s elbow, about to walk past her to find his roommate when a set of footsteps came from behind the stairs.

Eddie appeared in full view, a cup of coffee in his hand and a placid smile on his face with narrowed eyes. He looked between the pair of them before a light seemed to go off in his head and his smile turned into a wide spread grin that reached his chocolate brown eyes. Eddie moved to stand beside (Y/n) and pressed his free hand to her lower back.

"I see you've both finally met. This is Buck, the one I told you about. Buck, this is (Y/n), our new roommate."

A sudden pale complexion washed over Evan and he let go of (Y/n)'s elbow, realising he was still holding onto her like she was a criminal he was trying to apprehend.

So Eddie really had found them another roommate to fill the spare room and try to 'socialise' them both. He had ignored Evan's unease about having a female roommate sharing with the two of them. He had gone and asked her to move in anyway, knowing Evan had been at work for almost three days straight so he wouldn't have time to object and the new girl could move right in.

"Hi," (Y/n) did her best to smile up at Evan but she felt like he had reached right into her chest and curled his fist around her heart as tightly as he was gripping the water bottle in his fist.

He wasn't smiling at her. He wasn't trying to shake her hand or introduce himself or make any sort of small talk. He wasn't even acknowledging that she was going to be living with him for the foreseeable future. All he was doing was staring at her like he was trying to see into her soul and scrutinise every aspect of her person.

"Hi." He finally spoke. One little, careful word aimed towards her along with a nod of his head before he weaved past them both and moved to the stairs, tossing a quick "I need a shower." Over his shoulder as he went.

Turning on her heels, (Y/n) stared up the stairs after him, watching the way his running shoes bounced against the wooden stairs and his elbows pointed out behind him like guns aimed right for her.

"I don't think he likes me,"

(Y/n) moved her hands to hold her forearms like she was trying to give herself a comforting hug and her head hung down as her shoulders hunched over.

This wasn't going to be the fresh start she was hoping for when one of her roommates clearly didn't want her to be living with him. She thought this was going to be different. When Eddie told her about Evan, he described him as someone completely different to the person she'd just walked into. He described Evan as a loveable goof, someone who always made you laugh and smile and who could see the light in any situation and had a fact file of the most random things in the world.

He never mentioned that Evan would be so cold and uncaring about having her live here.

(Y/n) didn't want to have that sort of arrangement where she had to avoid someone she lived with. Trying to shower at different times and use the kitchen at different schedules so they didn't have to talk and interact with each other.

She had hoped to make friends with them both.

"He's just being a grump. He was expecting to have another guy share the flat,"

"Am I going to be an inconvenience?"

A frown pulled at Eddie's lips when he saw the light start to fade in (Y/n)'s eyes and noticed that she was almost drawing blood from how deeply she was biting her lip. He didn't want to upset her or have her think that he and Evan didn't want her here. Evan had been apprehensive but he had agreed, he just didn't realise how soon (Y/n) would be moving in and that it was all finalised.

"No! Buck's not himself… he's just had a bad breakup, he's beginning to think he's cursed. And he is superstitious, you know, believes in signs and that having a girl here might lead to something." Eddie's corny smile unravelled one of the nerves in (Y/n)'s stomach just a little.

Evan couldn't help but believe he might he cursed when it came to relationships. The only person he could rely on was Eddie and every woman had either left him or broken a small piece of him.

Soon enough there was going to be nothing left.

And a female roommate was a complication. Evan didn't like coincidences or superstitions and he knew how quickly a friendship could lead to something more. It was like a temptation, if they had a girl live with them who he liked, it could form into something more and that would lead to complications if the relationship went sour.

"I don't want to be a nuisance or have him avoiding me all the time,"

(Y/n) followed Eddie into the kitchen and nodded kindly when he pointed to the kettle, silently asking if she wanted a drink.

"Trust me, you'll be a Godsend, not an inconvenience. I am curious though… why move in with us? I was surprised when you said yes."

Eddie didn't know (Y/n) that well, he met her a few weeks back and they got to talking. (Y/n) mentioned she was looking for an apartment that was cheap since she had been living in a hotel since she moved to LA and Eddie happened to mention he and Evan had a spare room they were looking to rent. He didn't expect (Y/n) to agree.

Not many girls would move to the city and agree to move in with two men she didn't really know. It wouldn't be something Eddie would advise his sisters to do, it was something he would warn them against. He and Evan were stand up people, they were devoted to their job which kept them both busy so a roommate wasn't going to distract them or get in their way and they weren't dangerous by any means. But he was still surprised (Y/n) was so eager to move in with them.

(Y/n) folded her arms on the kitchen counter and arched her back and bum out, looking over at Eddie through thick lashes that hid her anxiety.

"I'd say it's because you're really nice and the price is cheap but… back home I didn't feel safe. I didn't want to rent and live alone when I moved here and- and two firemen offer me a place to stay? How much safer can it get?"

She wasn't stupid, not by any means.

(Y/n) knew better than most that monsters could come in all shapes and sizes. They could have stand up jobs, they could be doctors or nurses or work on the city counsil or be a lawyer. Monsters could have the most sweet, sincere smiles that would melt the harshest winter, but when they bared their teeth, they were frightening.

Eddie didn't seem like a monster to (Y/n) and from what he had said of Evan, he wasn't one either.

(Y/n) was desperate to feel safe. She couldn't live alone, she was too nervous and afraid to be alone in a new city and come home every night from work, desperate to add more locks on the door to keep the monster out. Eddie and Evan were firefighters, their job was to protect people and help them out of any situation.

They were the safest people to live with and (Y/n) already knew she could count and rely on Eddie. And if in time, she and Evan still couldn't get along, she would still feel safe living here with them.

Safe was all (Y/n) dreamed to be.

"Safe? Did someone hurt you?" Eddie asked before he could stop himself.

He straightened up and pressed both palms down on the kitchen counter, his brows furrowing as he looked across at (Y/n) in concern. There was a difference between being afraid of living alone and being afraid of your safety, Eddie knew that better than most. She wanted to feel safe and two firefighters who weren't afraid of doing the right thing and getting into fights made Eddie wonder if she agreed to stay here for protection.

As if she thought living with them would stop someone from finding or hurting her.

He watched her shake her head and try to smile but it didn't reach her beautiful eyes and it made a stone set deep in the pit of his stomach. Eddie managed a smile and relaxed a little, leaning back down against the counter so she could feel more at ease. He didn't know her well enough to push the subject when he knew the answer to his question was yes, even if she was trying to pretend it was no.

"Well you'll be safe here, I promise."

He would make sure of it and he knew Evan would too, even if he didn't show it at first.

***

"What're you making?"

A timid voice broke Evan out of his thoughts and he turned his head, sneaking a glance over his shoulder towards his newest roommate. He dragged his eyes up and down her frame, soaking her in, taking in her appearance that was different from the other day.

Her hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail that left a few curls straggling around her ears, framing her cheekbones like curtains. She had an oversized jumper on that pulled down over her hands making her look like a child in their parent's clothes, but it was a somewhat sweet look. Both her arms were rubbing into her sides and scratching along her thighs through the thick material of her jumper.

Evan realised a second too late that his stare didn't give off the best impression. He could see the unease flood her face and it dawned on him that maybe she thought he was scrutinising her rather than simply drinking in her appearance.

"Lasagne," He finally responded, clearing his throat and swiping his tongue out over his lower lip which had suddenly gone very dry.

His eyes followed (Y/n) as she folded her arms over her chest and slowly walked into the kitchen where he was hard at work, continuously stirring the mince in the pot.

(Y/n) stood close to Evan's side but made sure to keep a membrane of space between them. An air of safety.

The steam from the cooker made a shiver roll down her spine and she realised it was making Evan a bit tense, his arms were straining against the short, and rather tight sleeves of his shirt and a trickle of sweat rolled down his cheek and traced along the vein in his neck.

"Smells good,"

Her eyes cast over the cooker and the worktops in front of her, taking in how much effort he had put into making a simple lasagne, making it anything but plain. He had made the white cheese sauce from scratch by the looks of it, he had pre-cooked the sheets of pasta and was just finishing off the bolognaise which also looked like the sauce was homemade. Evan had to be a good cook to make this all from scratch.

A gentle smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips and with an air of nervousness, she stretched her arm over Evan's outstretched hand, reaching across to pick up the few utensils left on the counter. She took the empty pan, the spatula and the knives he had been using to cut up the onion and carrots and moved towards the sink to start washing up.

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind," (Y/n) had already rolled up her sleeves and started to wash before Evan could try and talk her out of it. He was busy, the least she could do while she had nothing to do was help keep the kitchen clean. They both lived here now, after all. She wasn't a guest in his home he was preventing from cleaning, she was his flat mate who wanted to help with the chores.

"Well I hope you're hungry."

Evan turned off the stove and grabbed the tea towel from his shoulder, drying his damp palms before he rummaged around to find another spoon. When he didn't hear a response, he turned and leaned his hips against the counter and tilted his head at an angle. His brow rose while he watched (Y/n) dunk her hands into the sink and tilt her head to look at him.

He could feel his heart rocket in his chest when she looked over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of him. Her chin pressed down on her shoulder and she looked up through her lashes, her pinched lips parted in an oval shape that made his stomach clench.

"Oh, um… uh me?"

"What, you don't trust my cooking?" Evan bit down the tension building in his stomach, feeling a small unease growing at the thought that she didn't think he was any good at cooking or that she didn't want to try whatever he had made. He was only joking but in the pit of his stomach he was worried she would answer his joke seriously, and not in a good way.

When he and Eddie cooked, they made tea for both of them, not just themselves. It was an unspoken rule and a habit they had kept since they moved in together. Why cook for one and not the other? They both shared the same food tastes, Evan would eat anything and Eddie certainly wasn't the best cook in the world, far from it. Evan thought (Y/n) would be the same, that they would all share the cooking as well as cleaning and she would eat with him and Eddie.

Maybe she didn't want to eat with them. Perhaps she was a fussy eater and wouldn't eat most of the stuff they would cook. Maybe she didn't think Evan was a good cook and didn't want to bother with his food.

Evan was trying hard to change his dynamics. He had lived all his childhood trying to prove himself and make people notice him, a lot of that involved getting hurt in order to be seen.

He valued himself on the reaction he could gouge out of others. He lived his life trying to please people and make them like him and to help people and it wasn't the healthiest way to live, everyone was trying to tell him that. But it was hard to shake old habits and Evan couldn't take rejection well.

"No! No I do I just, I just didn't expect you to cook for me too, that's all,"

(Y/n) swiped the teatowel from Evan's hands and hastily dried her hands that were covered in bubbles that dripped down her wrists. Her fingers scrunched the tea towel up tight, holding it against her chest as her big doe eyes stared up at Evan, praying she hadn't upset him.

She had been doing her best to be a good roommate, trying not to be loud, clean up after herself and making sure she didn't get in their way, but she couldn't get a good grip on Evan. She couldn't work him out. One moment he was practically ignoring her and the next he was trying to talk to her and all (Y/n) could do was fumble over her words and make herself look like a foolish child in front of him.

"That's what we do here. At work we all eat together as a family, me and Eddie brought that rule home."

(Y/n) didn't know how to respond to that other than to smile as brightly as she could to something that sounded so homely and warm it made her melt like butter.

She'd never had a family dynamic in any of the jobs she worked at. Back home with her mum, it hadn't been the best time of her life and where she lived before she came here, it had been awful. (Y/n) wanted to forget that part of her life that she was running away from. Meals had been rushed or done with shaking hands and eating in silence always made (Y/n) want to be sick.

Being with Evan and Eddie, chatting and cooking and eating together was going to give (Y/n) the homely feel that she had missed out on for most of her life.

Reaching out, she held the tea towel back out to Evan like some sort of peace offering and he took it, swinging it over his shoulder before his large hands clamped down on his hips. He looked like he was posing for something, maybe not a picture or a poster, but like he was looking for something or expecting something. It made (Y/n) stare up at him for a bit longer than necessary.

When Evan moved to start layering the pasta sheets in a dish, (Y/n) leaned over the pot on the stove to take a peak at the bolognase.

"You could add some oregano and put some garlic cloves in to flavour it while it cooks." Turning he back, (Y/n) moved towards the fridge and pulled out a clove of garlic before she moved to the spice cupboard and rummaged through, seeing if the boys had any oregano to add in.

"Uh, Cap's recipe doesn't have those." A smile tugged at Evan's lips but when he turned around, he rose a brow and slouched his shoulders.

He picked up the slightly crumpled piece of paper and hovered it near (Y/n) so she could see that those ingredients weren't on the recipe Bobby had written out for him. Bobby was always teaching Evan new dishes to try out, especially the ones Evan craved when Bobby made them at the station. Evan was nowhere near as good as his captain but he was trying his best and it was going well so far.

Evan wasn't about to add new ingredients or change the recipe, he wanted to follow it to the letter.

"It's just herbs," (Y/n) cut up the cloves of garlic and held out the small rectangle jar of herbs towards Evan with a gentle look. Would his Captain really write down all the herbs and spices Evan should add in? It wasn't strictly changing the recipe and he had followed it in every other aspect.

"Cap hasn't written them down," His arms folded over his chest and he jutted one hip to the side, watching (Y/n) with scrutinising eyes that made her shrink in on herself.

"Evan I was only-"

"No."

The way he tilted his head from left to right made him look sassy and for a second, (Y/n) couldn't decide whether he was tormenting her or teasing her or being deadly, ruthlessly serious. Either way, she took a step back and coiled her arms to herself.

She didn't notice the shiver that tore through Evan when she said his name. No one called him Evan, not even Maddie anymore. He was known and referred to as Buck and to hear his name when he wasn't at a hospital appointment or in a deadly situation was almost concerning.

Except when it came from (Y/n)'s lips.

"What are you two bickering about?"

Eddie sauntered into the kitchen, breaking up the tension as he stood behind (Y/n) and pushed his hip out against the counter. One hand gripped the worktop to keep himself propped up and the other rested on his hip as his eyes worked between the pair of them, wondering what he had missed so far.

"(Y/n) is trying to add extras to Cap's lasagne," Whipping the tea towel back off his shoulder, Evan tossed it onto the counter and grabbed the pan of white sauce. He was layering this up now because it needed to cook and he was already starved.

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) tried not to jump or jerk when she suddenly felt Eddie's hand on her left hip. His fingers were oddly warm and smooth and they pressed into her flesh like he was trying to imbed them there and feel for her hip bone. It wasn't the kind of touch (Y/n) was used to, it was softer and gentle rather than harsh and menacing.

It made nerves spark to life and send tingles running down the side of her left leg right down to her ankle. And when His chest suddenly merged up against her back and his chin peered over her shoulder, (Y/n) almost squeaked.

A grin quirked on his lips that made (Y/n) go weak at the knees as she turned her head to the right, suddenly realising it might not have been a good idea with how close it put her to Eddie's dark lips. They parted enough for him to swipe them with his tongue and at the same time he squeezed her hip, he hovered his other hand near his mouth, silently asking her to be quiet.

His chest pressed out into her back so that she could feel every shallow breath he took and if she concentrated and dared to enough, she was sure she could feel his groin if she moved an inch in the wrong direction.

Her jaw fell open and she sucked in a sharp breath when Eddie grabbed the handful of garlic cloves she had peeled and sprinkled them into the pot.

But then his hand moved to curl around the back of (Y/n)'s right hand that was still holding the oregano jar. This thumb clicked the lid open and he cautiously moved her hand over the pot, shaking in a generous amount of herbs. (Y/n)'s hand felt cold and limp when Eddie let go so he could mix the bolognase, trying to hide the new ingredients so that when Evan found out, it would be too late to argue or do anything about it.

"He'll thank us later," Eddie's lips were so close that if (Y/n) pushed her chin up half an inch, they would kiss.

She liked the flecks of light she could see pooling in his chocolate brown eyes and the way the tip of his nose crinkled when he smiled down at her. It almost made her forget to worry about Evan's reaction.

He was not going to thank them for this.

***

A shockwave rattled through Eddie's chest and he bolted upright in bed, gulping down deep breaths as shivers and tremors rattled through his body like he was being electrocuted.

He adjusted his eyes to the darkness and looked around his room, wondering what on Earth had bolted him awake from a dream so suddenly and sharply. But he didn't have time to think when a scream vibrated through the walls and rattled around in his mind that started to shake and melt in pain.

That wasn't Evan. He had bad dreams, but he never screamed himself awake. The only time Eddie remembered hearing Evan scream was when someone shot Eddie on duty.

It had to be (Y/n).

Without a second thought, Eddie tossed the cover to one side and scrambled to his feet, stumbling on the cold wood floor that made his feet jump and jerk from the contact.

Oh God, had someone broken into the apartment? Had a shelf fallen down in her room? Had she had some kind of medical emergency at midnight?

Anything and everything rattled around in Eddie's mind as he bolted out of his room and ran four feet towards (Y/n)'s room. He heard Evan's distinct footsteps that sounded like earthquakes when he was tired and drowsy, they followed a few paces behind Eddie.

"What the fuck?" Evan muttered as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to move a bit faster but his body wasn't working with him tonight. He had barely been home three hours and both Eddie and (Y/n) had retired to their rooms before he came home off shift. He had done a twenty four hour shift with no chance of sleep, Evan was desperate to be in bed.

Why was (Y/n) screaming the roof down?

"(Y/n)? (Y/n), Jesus what's happening?!" Eddie flung the door open so quickly it bashed into the wall and it made him think of a gunshot ringing out through the night. It seemed (Y/n) had the same idea because when his eyes found her, she flinched, jerking back in the bed with her arms bolted up in front of her face like iron bars and her hands digging into the back of her head.

Evan leaned into the room and switched on the light while Eddie heaved himself down on the edge of the bed, trying to be careful and gentle when he stretched his arms out towards (Y/n).

"No intruder, no damage, you're breathing… did you have a nightmare?" Evan spoke softly and leaned against the doorframe, rubbing the base of his hand against his eyes that were burning from lack of sleep.

He couldn't see anyone breaking into her room. There was nothing out of the ordinary, no broken lamps and no blood splattering the walls. She was breathing rapidly in a panic and she didn't look to have any injuries. All that Evan could guess was that she had scared herself awake from a bad dream and one look at (Y/n)'s petrified frame told Evan he was right.

Part of Evan wanted to move. He wanted to go and sit down near Eddie and try to calm (Y/n) down. Something had to have shocked her badly for her to scream murderously like that and be sat trembling, unable to move or speak to them.

But he didn't.

What could Evan do when Eddie was already sat there working his magic to get (Y/n) to calm down and open up. (Y/n) didn't need Evan sat like an awkward statue or hear him try to relate and tell her it was okay, he still had nightmares about seeing Eddie be shot in front of him.

He wanted to say she would be alright or refer to Eddie and say she was in good hands, Eddie had the situation handled. But all that came out was "I'm going back to bed."

Evan couldn't do anything, so he left.

"(Y/n), look at me… it's just you and me." Daring to reach his hands out, Eddie brushed his fingertips along (Y/n)'s arms, waiting for her to stop flinching at his touch before he curled his hands around hers that were going to bruise into her scalp by now.

He gently uncurled her hands from her head and lowered them down until her arms were limp and left trembling against her exposed thighs.

"Just you and me. Whatever you dreamt, it's gone now. Nothing's gonna hurt you, I swear." Eddie wasn't sure his words were getting through to her until something crossed his mind and he murmured "You're safe."

Those two little words made her flitting eyes lock on his and before he knew it, her fingers were curled around his wrists, pulling him closer until he almost bashed his temple into hers. He smoothed his fingers up and down her lower arms and brushed his thumbs against the inside of her wrist, trying to give her something to focus on and ground herself with.

With a twitching frown, Eddie moved his fingers around her wrist and pressed them firmly down on her pulse, trying to count the beats and form a mental note. His eyes narrowed but stayed locked with (Y/n)'s intense gaze, noticing the slight constriction in her pupils and how her uneven breaths sucked in a suddenly sharp intake.

"Do you normally have palpitations?" The concern was evident in his voice and he tried to keep counting her pulse in his mind. He couldn't tell if she was having palpitations because she had scared herself awake in shock or if this was something she usually had.

(Y/n) couldn't answer, but she managed to nod her trembling head, almost tucking her chin into her chest to try and give her answer. Her heart was the least of her worries right now. Palpitations were an old friend that always told her when she was panicked and starting to suffer.

"Okay, well it's not too bad-"

She hugged him.

Eddie wasn't expecting her to want or seek out his touch, not in her panicked state when his presence in her room had clearly been offputting at first.

But she grabbed him with such intensity that Eddie almost fell on his back on the bed. He could feel her fingers pushing into his shoulders but it was her face, burrowed deep into his chest, that shocked him the most. Unsure what else to do, Eddie balanced his weight on his upper thighs and hips, keeping his back straight so they both didn't topple backwards. And he moved his arms, curling one very lightly around (Y/n)'s waist while the other moved towards the base of her neck. He didn't want to scare her, but he also wanted to give her some reassurance and comfort if he could.

He didn't care what time it was, how badly (Y/n) was shaking and quietly crying into his chest or the tears and hot breaths soaking into his shirt.

He only cared about making her feel safe.

How can someone wrote something this good!!???

I Was Worried

This is my first time writing Evan Buckley from 911 but I am in love with that show and re-watching made me want to write. I'm open to take any requests for Buck or Eddie from the show. I hope you all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) tries to convince everyone at the station that she is fine, especially her boyfriend Buck. But when she takes a bad turn out on a call, he gets panicked.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Whatever you're cooking smells good," Buck folded his arms and leaned forward onto the counter, pushing his hips out and arching his back a little to stretch out.

It didn't really matter to Buck what Bobby was cooking, it could have been anything from cats to crocodiles and he would eat it. Half a bowl of cereal wasn't enough to keep Buck going through a hectic morning shift and it was almost two o'clock now, way past dinner. He was starving and he was desperate to eat anything Bobby cooked.

"Pasta bolognaise," Bobby looked up from the large serving bowl he was pouring the pasta into, smiling when he could see Buck's eyes widening happily.

"And garlic bread." A smile worked its way onto (Y/n)'s lips when she walked past Buck and patted his shoulder as she went. She knew her boyfriend like the back of his hand and he was very food orientated.

She felt his hand graze her lower back as she passed him and grabbed the plates from the side to set the table. They didn't know how long they would all get to eat so dinner was usually fast. Set the table within a minute, everybody down and chug the food and drink to get as much as possible before a call sounded. Half the time they gobbled food and ended up with twenty minutes left to spare and they actually got to sit and digest their food and talk. But more often than not, food was partially eaten and left to go cold while they hurried out on a call.

(Y/n) could feel a headache burning behind her eyes and igniting through to the back of her head.

For over a week now (Y/n) had been feeling off, her headaches were becoming more common and persistent and she was feeling sluggish no matter how much sleep she managed to get or how she tried to eat enough and regular to keep her energy up.

Buck had said she was starting to come down with something and now (Y/n) was slowly beginning to believe him.

When the plates were all in place and utensils were laid out in the middle of the table, (Y/n) curled her hands around the back of one of the chairs and took a second to clear her foggy head. It felt like someone was slowly pumping her head full of air and any moment it was going to burst.

"Alright, are we ready?" Chimney clapped his hands and approached the table with a grin as Hen and Eddie followed behind.

(Y/n) tried to keep smiling and slowly shuffled away from the table and towards the cupboard near the sink where they kept the glasses. She couldn't stop her breaths from becoming shaky when her fingers curled around a glass and started to tremble.

"(Y/n), you coming?" Bobby glanced back over his shoulder when he approached the table with the food. She was awfully quiet all of a sudden when normally she would be first at the table to dish out the food and pour out the drinks.

When he didn't receive an answer, he glanced over at Buck who was halfway between the kitchen and the table before he stopped in his tracks and looked across at his girl. He looked back at Bobby with furrowed brows but waved his hand out at them to signal that they could go ahead and get sat down. He turned on his heels and headed over to where (Y/n) was stood in front of the kitchen counter with her back to him.

"Babe… you okay?" His voice was quiet but when he reached out to rest a hand on (Y/n)'s arm, he could feel her subtly shaking. "What's wrong?"

"Buck…" Her head was splitting like someone was banging a drum so harshly that her head was ripping open at the seams. The thudding of her heartbeat pulsed beneath her skin and pounded through her head so badly that she couldn't even see anymore. All she could make out were the black and white sparkles blinking in front of her eyes.

She could feel Buck's hands both coming up to rest on her shoulders and his lips merged against the back of her head but she couldn't hear what he was trying to whisper to her. Everything was turning to static in her ears.

Both Buck's arms moved to bind around (Y/n)'s waist when her knees gave out and she buckled. Her fingers slipped off the edge of the counter and her arms fell limp at her sides.

"Oh shit!" Stooping over, Buck braced himself a little better and slowly moved down until he was kneeling on the floor with (Y/n) hoisted up against his chest. Her head fell forward onto her chest as her legs curled up beneath her but she was still shaking. Buck kept one arm secured around her lower waist and moved his other arm round so he could carefully rest his palm against her temple and tilt her head up so she could lean her head back on his shoulder.

With a mouthful of garlic bread, Eddie pushed his chair back and jogged over to the pair while Hen busied herself grabbing a medical bag from near the stairs.

"Alright, here we go." Eddie knelt down in front of Buck and reached out for (Y/n)'s crumpled legs, carefully pulling them so they were straightened out and she was laid a bit more comfortable up against Buck. He pressed his fingers against (Y/n)'s wrist as Hen came over to them. "Pulse is a bit fast, not too bad. (Y/n), you with us?"

A muffled groan escaped (Y/n)'s lips as she tried hard to open her eyes but the lights suddenly felt like spotlights shining down on her and they were burning her eyes. She could feel Hen carefully taking her arm and sliding a blood pressure cuff up over her elbow and the tightening sensation sent a shiver down her spine and cleared her mind just a little.

"Open your eyes, babe," Buck coaxed while he smoothed his hand up and down (Y/n)'s arm. And something tingled to life in his chest and bubbled through his blood when he felt her hand shakily reach back and squeeze his thigh.

"Do you feel dizzy or sick?" Hen shone a light across (Y/n)'s pupils when she finally managed to open her eyes and something flickered on her face like a brief smile when she managed to follow Hen's finger from left to right.

"Dizzy… I- I'm good, probably just hungry." (Y/n) shuffled herself a little higher against Buck's chest so she was sitting up properly and she could feel the blood rushing back down to her feet and the storm in her head was starting to calm down, finally.

"You blacked out and you think you're good?" Buck rolled his lips together when Eddie gave him a look. He wasn't being rude but he knew (Y/n) better than any of them, he knew she was more likely to brush this under the rug than consider there might be something more serious than just a little dizzy spell. He for one didn't want to act like this was something small when he had said for the last week that she was coming down with a bug from how uneasy she felt and the constant headaches.

"Alright, if she thinks she's gonna be okay then let's all try and eat lunch, but you're benched today (Y/n). Any callouts, you hang back here to be safe I'm not taking any risks."

(Y/n) pressed her lips into a thin line to supress the groan burning at the back of her throat. She didn't want to hang back and wait around for them to come back off a call when she could be needed, she was here to do her job not sit back and worry. But she could see Bobby's reasoning, she would be a liability today if she went on a call and felt rough or this happened again. It was a safety measure.

She let Eddie take her hands and Buck loop his arms beneath hers so they could hoist her up between them. Her legs felt wobbly like setting jelly but she could shuffle them towards the table without worrying that she was about to collapse again.

It was just a blackout, she probably needed something to eat.

Loosening the suspenders on his shoulders, Eddie pulled them off his arms and shimmied out of his overalls and boots. He picked them up and shuffled tiredly through into the locker room, smiling softly when he glanced over and saw (Y/n) sat on a far bench near the glass wall.

"How you feeling?" He dumped his things into his locker but when he didn't hear a response, the smile slowly slipped from his face and he glanced back over at her.

He knew Buck had been worried for the rest of the shift when they went out and left (Y/n) behind at the station. She had kept herself busy, they all saw the tidy kitchen and the mopped floors implying she had been desperate to occupy herself when she got left behind for the afternoon. Buck had been the first one to run up to her when they got back and make sure she had been fine while they had been out. He worried; a lot.

"(Y/n)?"

Eddie walked over and gently perched himself beside her on the bench before he clasped his hands together in front of him and stooped over a little. His head tilted to the left to try and see her since she was sat at an angle but he sucked in a sharp breath when she turned to face him.

Her hands were full of used, bloodied tissues and there were streaks of blood smeared all across her mouth and chin and a lot of dried blood caked around her nose.

"What happened?" He was careful when he gingerly reached his hands out to tilt her head back. It looked like the blood had mostly stopped now but there was a hell of a lot on her face and the pile of tissues she had crumpled up in her fists.

"I had a headache, then the heavens poured out my nose for over five minutes. Has it stopped?" (Y/n) tightened the tissues in her hands until she could feel them starting to shred and pull apart between her fingers.

She had barely walked away from Bobby after reassuring him she felt much better, and her nose started to pour like a tap. Her head started to go fuzzy and heavy like it did earlier and no amount of tissue or pinching the bridge of her nose seemed to stop it. And Buck had gone for a shower so he didn't have to bother when they got home, the last thing (Y/n) wanted to do was run to him and ask for help. She would only panic him more than he had been earlier and she didn't want that.

"Yeah, I think it's stopped, are you sure you feel alright? You know this doesn't look so good." Eddie couldn't help but feel nervous, constant headaches, blacking out and a nosebleed on a large scale weren't signs of something minor.

"I feel better than this morning… Eddie, please don't tell Buck. You know he worries."

(Y/n) swiped the last crumpled tissue against her face before throwing them all in the bin. She would have to dart into the bathroom and wash her face clean of the blood if she didn't want Buck or any of the others realising what had happened or getting the wrong impression.

"I won't." A nosebleed could just be that and not mean anything else, it could be a one off and Eddie certainly wouldn't want to worry Buck unnecessarily.

He wouldn't say anything; yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A soft smile flooded (Y/n)'s face when the man whose name was John, grabbed her hand and held it tightly to her heart. He needed reassurance and (Y/n) would help him as much as she could and calm him down, it was all part of the job.

"Am I dying?"

"Of course you're not, we won't let that happen. We're going to free your leg and get you to the hospital, you'll be right as rain soon." It always felt easier to reassure someone with minor wounds like this.

It was when the victim had organs spilling out or a crushed chest or third degree burns that wouldn't heal that made (Y/n) panic about giving reassurance to them. When she knew there was no way she could guarantee they would survive, telling them everything would be okay felt like a lie and that wasn't always the best course.

But this man only had a leg crushed by some rubble and a few broken bones, nothing fatal that they needed to worry about. He was going to be fine and (Y/n) knew it.

"Alright, I'm going to let go of your hand so we can get ready to move you, okay?" (Y/n) gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she let go and moved so she was crouching behind him with her hands hooked under his armpits.

Eddie was going to lift the metal beam from the man's leg and Buck was in position to free his legs and help slide him onto the board so they could carry him out. He was the last person trapped in here, everyone else was out and taken care of and after this, the team could head back to the station and wait for the next call of the day.

(Y/n) wasn't sure if it was the dust and smoke filtering through the air that was making her head spin or if it was the headache she'd had since this morning but whatever it was made her feel off. Every part of her felt sluggish and slow and her head felt like it had cotton wool stuffed in it.

"Go!"

On command, (Y/n) pulled him back and lifted him up and she and Buck quickly laid him down on the read board and shuffled him up until his head was safely in the foam brace to keep his neck still and straight.

"Alright let's get out of here."

(Y/n)'s arms had never felt so limp and heavy than they did when she lifted her end of the board and followed Buck back through the small break in the wall they had created to get in. Her hands were tensing and twitching in the grooves of the board and it felt like her centre of gravity was shifting more to the left like the world was tilting at an angle. It made (Y/n) want to lean to the left to balance herself back out but when she tilted her head, she felt like she was about to topple over.

She had carried people out like this thousands of times, she'd hooked people over her shoulders and ran from burning cars before and gone quicker than this but today she couldn't seem to catch up. Buck was going too fast and her feet were heavy and weighted in her boots but she did her best to kick the rubble out the way and keep up. She could feel Eddie close behind and her eyes focused on looking up at Buck.

He was wearing his overalls and his coat and helmet so she couldn't see the way his biceps would twitch and strain or the way he would hunch up his shoulders to tense his muscles and go faster, but she could imagine the way his body would move beneath the jacket.

As soon as they were outside, all of them were coughing from the wave of fresh air that hut them like a truck.

Something burned in the back of (Y/n)'s head like she'd been struck with a knife and as soon as they were clear, they set the board down as close to the ambulance as they could manage. Two paramedics filed over and Buck busied himself reeling off the injuries John had sustained.

Forcing herself to smile, (Y/n) leaned down and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"T-they'll fix your leg and have you up and walking in no time, you will be okay." She couldn't wait to hear his response or wait for a thank you or even a smile, she had to move.

Her feet stumbled beneath her and she could feel herself beginning to shake down to her boots. She didn't feel good. She wasn't sure where she was heading, she just had to get away from the victim so she didn't worry him and be away from prying eyes.

When she couldn't walk any further, (Y/n) threw off her helmet and unzipped her jacket and launched it down on the floor. She was sweating, she was cold, she was burning up and shaking and feeling sick all at once.

"(Y/n), hey, what's up what's going on?"

Running her fingers over her face, (Y/n) turned her back to Eddie and shook her head. She didn't know what was going on or what the problem was but there was just something that didn't feel right. Her head was pounding like it was going to explode and since she'd blacked out, it had been progressively getting worse. All of her symptoms had been getting worse whether she wanted to admit it or not.

There was caution in Eddie's movements when he gingerly placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her round to face him but when he did, he could see that her eyes weren't able to focus on him.

"I think you should sit down,"

"I… wh- I want-"

Eddie couldn't fathom what she was trying to say or what words were passing through her lips, none of it made a sentence or any sort of sense but it didn't matter.

(Y/n)'s eyes rolled to the back of her head and she tumbled down like the collapsed building behind them and Eddie couldn't catch her in time to break her fall, but that didn't matter either. He barely managed to go down on his knees when (Y/n)'s limbs tensed and tightened up like she was a puppet whose strings were being pulled.

Both her hands bent at odd angles and her arms pinned against her chest that pushed off the floor while her head started to tremble and jerk back and forth.

She was having a seizure.

"Cap! Captain, go get Buck! Now." Eddie threw his helmet to the floor and leaned over (Y/n) whose body was taut and tense and looked like she was shivering all over. He was the least bit relieved to see that she wasn't fully thrashing around on the floor and her arms and legs weren't being thrown about at all angles, it was more her head that was jerking than the rest of her body.

He carefully turned (Y/n) over so she was laid on her left side and tried to keep his hand pressed against the back of her neck to keep her head forward. He had no way of knowing if she was going to be sick or if she might bite down on her tongue and make it bleed. Either way, he couldn't risk her choking.

"Hey, what-" Whatever Buck was about to say fizzled into the air when he looked over at his girlfriend, laid on the floor spasming and shaking.

He'd never seen her have a seizure before.

"What happened?!" Fury boiled over in Buck's voice as he roughly grappled with his helmet and chucked it down to the floor before he went down on his knees in front of (Y/n). "Babe? (Y/n), baby it's me, you're okay, it's alright." He tried to keep one hand on her arm to let her know he was there while he pushed his other hand beneath her neck and the floor to feel her pulse and check her airways were still open. They couldn't be trying to intubate her while she was seizing like this.

"Hen, get over here! Don't let that second ambulance go, get it here now!" Bobby waved Hen over and pointed over at a paramedic who was about to take the other empty ambulance away from the scene now that all the people were accounted for and safely being transported.

"Has she had an accident, hit her head? Had a reaction to something?" Hen kneeled down next to Buck and took Eddie's place keeping (Y/n)'s head tilted forward while she tried to clip a monitor onto (Y/n)'s finger and listen to her heartbeat.

"No, nothing. She, she doesn't have seizures, this isn't normal." Something violent flashed across Buck's pupils as his jaw locked shut.

This wasn't normal for her, (Y/n) didn't get seizures or get seriously ill other than the odd bout of flu or a cold. She had never collapsed before, never had a seizure and she hadn't hurt herself or had any reaction to anything that would bring this on. Nothing had happened to her today or even this week for this to happen, Buck had kept a close eye on her to make sure she was alright. Clearly she wasn't.

"Okay, okay I think it's starting to wear off. (Y/n), it's Hen can you hear me?"

(Y/n)'s arms stayed pinned against her chest like she was protecting herself from something and her body started to calm down with the shakes but her upper half was still tilting and pushing back and forth like she was being pushed and pulled.

Hen gently pulled up her eyelid to flash a light across her pupil but her eyes were only half visible, still looking up towards the top of her head. Now that she had stopped shaking, Hen tried to listen to her heartbeat and put a blood pressure cuff on her arm.

"Buck…"

"I'm here baby, it's me." Reaching forward, Buck carefully slipped his hand into (Y/n)'s half-curled fist that felt tense and stiff and unusual to him but he knew he could feel her fingers trying to press against the back of his hand. It was enough to make his erratic heartbeat calm down and he brought her hand close enough so he could kiss the back of her hand before he pressed it against his chest.

"Her pulse is steady and her blood pressure isn't too low, she's stable enough. Get her on the stretcher, she needs an MRI."

"On three, Buck. One, two, three." Eddie slipped his hands beneath (Y/n)'s shoulders and Buck lifted her lower half and legs and they carefully laid her down on her back on the stretcher the paramedics wheeled over. She felt so tense and stiff like she was in rigamortis, Buck had never felt her so taut like that before and he hated it.

"I'll ride along with you," Hen patted Buck's shoulder nd glanced over at Bobby for confirmation. One nod of his head was all it took for Buck to shed his jacket which he handed to Eddie before he and Hen climbed in the ambulance.

"We'll meet you at the hospital,"

He wouldn't be able to focus on shift without being by her side and making sure she was alright and everybody knew and understood that.

"Buck, it hurts," (Y/n)'s words were slurred and she could barely keep her eyes open for long but he managed to make out what she said and it broke his heart.

He shuffled closer to the stretcher and brought her hand to rest against his cheek to let her know he was still here with her. He leaned his head to the side a little so he could kiss her wrist and he rubbed his other hand up and down her arm and shoulder to try and stimulate her and keep her awake with him.

"What hurts, baby?"

"My head." (Y/n) tried to lift her free hand to rub her temple but her limbs were so stiff she could barely curl her fingers to her palm.

"It's okay, the doctors will make you better, don't you worry baby. Just keep talking to me, eh? The team will come up and meet us at the hospital, they're all worried 'bout you."

"Stay with me," (Y/n) tried to smile and managed a half smile in Buck's direction and she tried to keep her eyes on him and his baby blue orbs that were staring down at her intently. She could feel his fingertips grazing up and down her skin and his wet lips pressing on her wrist like he was kissing her pulse and helping her heartbeat calm down.

"I ain't going anywhere, baby." Buck smiled down at her and he could feel himself slowly starting to calm down. Maybe this was just a one time thing, maybe she would just need her head checking out and some tablets and be perfectly fine. That was what he was hoping for. But when he looked down at her again, his smile started to fade. "What's wrong with her eyes?"

He glanced between Hen and (Y/n) until she carefully leaned over and pulled (Y/n)'s eyelid higher to get a better look. Both her eyes were trembling from left to right so rapidly it was making Buck's head hurt just from looking at them.

"Baby, talk to me… what's wrong?"

"She's having another seizure." Hen held her wrist and checked her vitals before she sat back down but kept close watch.

"But she…" Buck didn't know what he wanted to say. He'd never seen someone have a seizure like this. Sure, (Y/n) was tense again like her muscles were about to snap, but she wasn't shaking or spasming and her head wasn't moving. Nothing was moving apart from her eyes, he'd never seen anything like it but then again, the fire department didn't deal with seizures all too often.

This wasn't right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buck's knee juttered up and down like he was a drummer hitting the bass beat over and over again and it caused his elbows to shake and his neck to strain. He had his shoulders hunched over, his elbows perched on his thighs and his entwined hands propping up his chin.

Something burned to life in his chest when the rest of the team came down to the waiting room to sit with him and wait for any news. He didn't have much of a family out here apart from Maddie who was currently still on shift, but the station had become his make shift family.

He almost clocked himself in the jaw when Eddie gently elbowed him and pointed over to the doctor who was fastly approaching them.

Panic was all Buck could feel and in a moment of desperation, he turned his head until his eyes locked on Bobby who got the silent plea. He advanced over to Buck, laid a hand on his shoulder and followed him to meet the doctor a few feet away from the rest of the team. If it was bad news Buck didn't want everyone else listening in, he wanted to hear it for himself first but he wanted Bobby there too. He was like his dad now and he needed that support.

"Is she okay?" Buck tucked his hands into his pockets to stop himself from scratching his arms to pieces out of nervous habit.

"The MRI showed she had a small bleed on the brain which we've managed to fix, the pressure caused the seizures."

Buck didn't know what to make of that, he wasn't one of the paramedics, sure he had the basic training. He could do CPR, he knew the basic recovery positions and he could help someone in respiratory distress, but this was beyond him.

"What caused the bleeding?" Bobby tightened his hand on Buck's shoulder, it mattered more to know why this happened than how they fixed it.

"We ran a few blood tests which showed her red blood cells were shredded, this is caused by a condition, TTP. It's brought on by pregnancy."

Buck's shoulders slumped and his mouth hung agape as he turned to look at Bobby as if for confirmation and reassurance that he was hearing this correctly. (Y/n) was pregnant. She never said anything to him or to anyone else, surely she couldn't have known about this either. He was going to be a dad. He was gonna have a baby.

"Is she- I- is she okay, though?"

"With medication and close monitoring she will be fine, you can go see her now. Congratulations."

In an instant, Buck had his arms around Bobby, reeling him in for a crushing hug and a breathless laugh before he reeled back and shot down the corridor. He had to go and see her right now, (Y/n) had to be the first person Buck talked to about this, she had to be the one to see his ecstatic face and feel how fast his heart was beating out of his chest at this news. He had to reassure himself (Y/n) was indeed alright after today, he couldn't get excited or relieved until he saw with his own eyes that she was alright.

"Baby," Buck could barely speak from how breathless he felt as he stumbled into (Y/n)'s room and his eyes set on her.

She was sat up in bed, her lips rolled together to supress a smile and tears drenching her exhausted features. He ignored the horrid look of the IV cannula in her hand and the white patch taped to the side of her head where he guessed they had managed to drain the bleed on her brain. All he could focus on was how she was trying to smile at him and just looking at her had his eyes watering.

(Y/n) couldn't help but giggle when Buck hazardly collapsed on the side of the bed and wound his arms tightly around her middle. She smiled when he nuzzled his face in the crook of her shoulder and kissed her neck while she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed the top of his head.

"I- I was so worried,"

"I know… are you happy?" Deep down, (Y/n) already knew the answer to her question but she had to ask anyway, just to be sure. She could feel him laugh into her neck, unable to believe she even had to ask him that and his arms tightened around her until he was pulling her up and crushing her into his chest trying to stuff her into his heart.

"Happy, are you kidding? I'm gonna be a dad!"

Well, Now You’re Caught [Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley]

Description: Y/N is a new Paramedic, and she is placed at LAFD's 118. There she meets Evan Buckley and a secret relationship ensues, until it’s not a secret anymore.

Warnings: Should I even put cuss words anymore or should we just expect it from me?

Y/N walked into the One-Eighteen and glanced around. There were quite a few people in the big station. Some were cleaning apparatuses, some were upstairs lounging and eating and some were working out. She looked to see if Hen was there and as if she felt the younger girls presence she descended down the stairs.

"Y/N! You're here!" She exclaims and quickens her pace. When she reaches the girl, she throws her arms around her and brings her in for a hug.

The sudden commotion catches people's attention, specially the group that was working out. Eddie, Chimney and Buck all stopped what they were doing and looked at Hen and the other girl.

"Who's that?" Buck asks the two. Both Eddie and Chimney shrug and return their attention to the girls. "She's cute." He mumbles.

"How's your sister?" Hen asks.

"She's doing great. Jack just turned two months old so he's finally starting to sleep at night." Y/N replies.

"I need to go see them, I haven't seen her since the day after he was born." Hen says.

"I'll show you some pictures later after I get settled." She chuckles. "Is Captain Nash available? I was told to ask for him when I got here."

"He was on the phone, so I can introduce you to everyone and show you around until he's done." Y/N nods and follows Hen as she introduces her to some other firefighters.

She finally makes it around to their group and Hen immediately gives Buck a warning glance.

"Guys, this is Y/N. She's a paramedic and will be working with us for a while. She's my best friends little sister, so be nice." She again, glances at Buck. "Y/N, this is Chimney, Eddie and Evan, also known as Buck." Y/N smiles and shakes everyone's hand. Everyone behaved until she got to Buck, who held onto her hand longer than needed and winked at her.

"It's nice to meet you guys." Y/N says.

"It's really nice to meet you." Buck blurts. Chimney smacks his back and Buck looks at him. "What?"

"Behave."

Then, Captain Nash comes down and says hello before taking her up into his office to fill out paperwork. Buck watches as she walks up the stairs and everyone starts laughing.

"Oh my god, I think this is a new record." Chimney laughs.

"Buck, you just met her." Eddie sighs.

"Listen I know she's attractive but she's a sweet girl and if you hurt her I'll have to hurt you." Hen threatens.

"She's not just attractive, she's absolutely gorgeous." Buck says as he continues to watch her through the glass.

"Oh he's already gone." Chimney starts dying of laughter and eventually pulls Eddie with him and then Hen, reluctantly.

"I bet two months."

"Oh shut up."

§§§

It took three months. Three months of longing glances, heart eyes and constant affection for Buck to ask Y/N out. Their six month relationship had been kept a secret and so far they'd been doing great at hiding it.

For dates, they'd either stay in, or go out of town. Anytime they'd go out with their friends, they'd act normal, not touch each other too much or act "coupley". They'd also stay at each other's house, but they made damn sure either no one would stop by, there wasn't any evidence of the person being there, or they weren't in a compromising position.

Lately though, Buck had been less careful. Honestly, he didn't care anymore. He knew what he wanted, and that was Y/N, for the rest of his life. Sure, he wouldn't tell her that yet, just so she didn't get overwhelmed, but he knew. He knew he was done the second he met her.

Y/N knew she was done too, but she's never been one to easily admit her feelings, and she felt like she might've been moving too fast, developing those feelings already.

Y/N was in the bathroom, just getting out of the shower after a call where a patients carotid artery was cut, so as expected it was a mess. Buck wanted to see his girlfriend, so he walked into the bathroom and stood outside of the shower.

Y/N stepped out in a towel and squealed when she saw Buck standing there.

"Evan, what the hell? You can’t just stand outside of the shower while I’m in here. I could of been naked." She whisper yells.

"It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Multiple times." He smirks and pushes himself off the wall. He stops right in front of her and wraps a arm around her while his other hand goes to cradle her face. "You’re really beautiful." He kisses her forehead.

"I know, you tell me all of the time, just like I tell you you’re handsome all of the time." Y/N smiles.

"You deserve to be told you’re beautiful twenty-four seven, but if I did that you’d deck me."

"I would not deck you Evan." She laughs.

"You don’t like attention all of the time. You’d tell me to stop." Buck looks down at her.

"Yeah I’d probably do that." He kisses her cheek. "We’re going to get caught."

"I don’t care." He kisses her nose.

"Well I don’t either but I’d rather not get caught at work while I’m only in a towel and my underwear."

"We won’t get caught." Then her kisses her lips.

The door opens and Hen stands there with Eddie and Chimney.

"I knew it! You owe me twenty bucks Chim." Eddie exclaims.

"Damnit guys, you couldn’t have waited two more months." Chimney grumbles.

"Well, now you’re caught." Hen says. "What do you have to say for yourself Mr. Buckley?"

Buck turns to look at Y/N and she shrugs.

"I love her. This isn’t one of my short flings. We’ve been dating for six months and I really do love her." Buck explains. Y/N blushes and grabs his hand.

"I love him too. He won’t hurt me, I know he won’t."

Hen sighs and looks at Eddie and Chimney who both have "awe" faces.

"Fine, but you have to tell Bobby. Y/N's like his baby now, so you need to tell him." She tells Buck.

"I will, I promise." Buck replies.

"And I will be telling your sister. That woman needs some entertainment." Hen turns and runs out of the room grabbing for her phone to call her friend.

"Oh god. She’s going to tell my parents." Y/N groans and buries her face into Buck's chest.

"Your parents are sweethearts." Buck giggles. "I’m not scared."

"My mom is but when you met my dad we were just friends, now that he knows you’re my boyfriend he’s going to try and intimidate you."

"Your dad is going to love him." Eddie says.

"Yeah! Your dad is going to love me."

Forty-Eight Hours [Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley]🎄

Description: Buck tries to tell Y/N about his feelings before her date in 48 hours.

Warnings: Mentions of a house fire.

"Buck, where is the extra wrapping paper?" Y/N asks as she walks over to him from their storage closet.

"Uh-. Check in Bobby's office." He suggests. Y/N nods and heads upstairs.

Chimney and Eddie, who are standing on the other side of the table share a glance.

"So, when are you going to ask Y/N out?" Chimney asks.

Buck rolls his eyes at his friends.

"Really guys?"

"Evan, come on. You need to get over Abby. Y/N is a good girl, and she's already good for you. Just open yourself up."

"I just don't want to mess up. I like being friends with Y/N and I don't want her to leave." Buck says as he rips some tape off of the roll.

"Y/N isn't leaving Buck. She just bought a house, she's staying." Eddie points out.

Buck yet again rolls his eyes. They're right and he knows it.

Hen walks into the bays with more gifts under her arms.

"Wow, who donated those?" Buck asks, changing the subject.

Now it's Eddie and Chimney's turn to roll their eyes.

"Oh, they're actually from Y/N. She adopted a family this year and wanted to wrap the gifts while she was at work since they need to be dropped off right after shift." Hen explains, "There's more in her car if you guys want to help bring them in!"

Buck smiles and shakes his head.

"Yeah, it's unlocked right?"

Hen nods and continues towards the empty table.

The guys all walk out to Y/N's car.

"I love this kid, she's an angel in human form." Chimney says.

"Yeah she's definitely got a heart of gold." Eddie adds.

"I know what you guys are doing." Buck huffs.

"Yeah? Is it working?" Eddie asks as he opens the passenger door. He pauses for a second before a smile breaks out on his face. "Guys, look at that." He points to her dash, right under the speedometer.

It's a picture of Bobby, Eddie, Hen, Chimney, Buck, Christopher and Y/N last summer sitting on the front of the truck.

And another one of Buck and Y/N at fire prevention day.

"She has a picture of us in her car?" Buck asks.

"Seems so." Chimney claps his shoulder and rounds the back of her car.

"Evan, seriously. You need to ask her out. And I wasn't going to say anything but she's got a date the night after shift ends, so you've got forty-eight hours to find your balls and do what you want to do." Eddie says bluntly before going to help Chimney, leaving Buck to his thoughts.

"Oh shit."

§§§

Buck had been trying to talk to Y/N, but of course they've had back to back calls and there wasn't any time.

Y/N and Hen had just got back from a medical assist for a trauma patient, and Buck was waiting for them.

"Hey guys, how'd that call go?" He asks as the girls get out of the ambulance.

"It went okay, the guys probably won't make it due to his injuries though." Y/N says as she goes to the Medical Storage cabinet.

"That's too bad." Buck replies walking over to her, "Y/N, I wanted to talk to you about something-."

"All Units, Structure Fire." The PA system from dispatch cut Buck off.

"Shit!" Y/N grabs everything she needs and throws it in the back of the ambulance. "We'll talk later Buck."

Buck sighs and jogs over to the Engine.

Eddie comes up beside him and pats him on the back.

"You just need a Christmas miracle Buck. You'll talk to her." He encourages.

"Not at this rate, I won't."

"You've just got to believe." Eddie jokes.

"I can't believe I'm going to miss my chance because I was too stupid to say anything before." Buck complains as he takes his seat in the truck.

"Miss your chance at what?" Bobby asks.

Buck groans and puts his head in his hands.

"Y/N has a date after shift, in now forty hours and Buck is realizing he should've said something to her about his feelings before. He's trying to tell her before her date but they've had back to back calls." Chimney explains as he puts on his gloves.

"Buck, you should've told her way before now!" Bobby scolds.

"I know, thanks!" Buck replies sarcastically.

"Talk to her as soon as this is over with. You two are good for each other and I don't want you guys to miss the opportunity." Bobby says.

All Buck can do is shake his head and hope that he's not too late.

§§§

It was a horrible fire. The family lost everything and Y/N was so upset.

"I hate this universe. That is so unfair." She seethes.

Buck had walked over to the ambulance to talk to her but he immediately knew now wasn't a good time.

"Hey guys," He says to catch Hen and Y/N's attention, "You two okay?"

Y/N and Hen both have a frown on their faces, but nod their heads.

"This is just so unfair that this happens. I feel horrible for them." Y/N whispers, "I just wish there was something I could do to help, even just a little bit."

Buck can visibly see how upset Y/N is. Her voice is a tad scratchy and she's got tears in her eyes.

He's not surprised though, as she is one of the most kindest, caring and strongest people he knows. Though, all he wants to do is wrap her in a hug.

"It's Christmas, this shouldn't be happening." Y/N finishes before slamming the back door to the ambulance and going to get in the front seat.

Buck and Hen share a look.

"Maybe there is something we can do."

§§§

Y/N had been sitting in her bunk with her tablet since they got back from the call. She hasn't said anything or gotten up.

Her adopted family had been watching her through the glass for a while before she perked up and finally moved from her bed to the door.

At first she hadn't noticed them, causing her to jump when she walked through the door, but she got distracted she saw Hen standing there.

"Oh good, you're already here. I want to take a ride to Walmart in a few hours, okay?" Y/N doesn't give her time to finish before going back into her bunk.

The group just stands there, shocked by that interaction.

"What the hell is she getting up to in there?" Chimney asks, before walking to the common area.

"Should we tell her or just surprise her?" Hen asks Buck.

"I think we should surprise her."

§§§

Y/N had dragged Hen with her to pickup a Walmart order and bring it back to the house. Her mood had brightened and she wasn't as upset anymore.

Bobby walks into the common area and stops when he sees bags full of stuff like clothes, hygiene and household essentials and even some fun things like toys and entertainment items.

"I thought we were done wrapping presents for the toy drive?" He asks, breaking his silence.

Y/N looks up and shrugs.

"This isn't for the toy drive."

"So, what is it for?"

"It's for the family from our structure fire today." She mumbles.

Bobby nods and comes closer to the table and picks up a toy.

"Would you like some help?"

Y/N smiles and nods, "Yeah Captain, I'd like that."

So, they wrapped all of the presents and placed everything else in bags for the family to use while everyone else in the house slept.

By four in the morning Buck was just itching to tell Y/N what he did, but first he needed some coffee, so he headed to the kitchen.

But Buck wasn't expecting to find his Captain and Y/N passed out on the couches in the living area and tons of wrapped boxes and bags full of items scattered around.

He stops for a second before going over to Bobby and tapping his shoulder.

"Hey Cap?"

"Yeah?" Bobby asks, still asleep.

"What happened in here?"

That makes Bobby shoot up and look around.

Seeing that everything was fine and it was just Buck be laid back down.

"Y/N got all of this stuff for that family. So, I helped her get it ready last night." He pauses to yawn, and looks at Y/N. "Wake her up and make her go lay down in her bed. Her neck is going to be hurting." He says before getting up to go start a pot of coffee.

Buck goes over to Y/N and places his hand on her arm gently.

"Y/N, you need to go sleep in a bed. Not on the couch with your neck all twisted." Buck whispers.

Y/N opens one eye before shaking her head no.

"I'm too tired to move." She complains.

"Okay, so I will carry you. You don't need to be sleeping out on the couch." He argues.

Y/N rolls her eyes before sitting up.

"Okay." She whispers.

Buck places one arm around her and the other under her knees before lifting her up, into his arms. Once he's sure he's got a good grip on her he starts walking down the hall.

The journey is silent until she's being placed on her bed.

"I wish that didn't happen to them Buck. They are such good people."

Buck nods in agreement before stopping and staring at Y/N for a few seconds.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah Evan?"

"I am in love with you."

"I'm in love with you too."

Evan's heart stops for a second. He can't believe she said that.

He shakes his head, she's probably not even awake, so he shouldn't take it seriously.

He squeezes her hand tightly before standing up and walking out of the room.

§§§

Buck couldn't stop thinking about his encounter with Y/N earlier. His coffee had gotten cold because he hasn't touched it.

Buck is brought out of his head by Y/N walking into the living area.

"Good morning Buck!" She says.

"Good morning Y/N."

She walks past him and into the kitchen to grab one of her yogurts. She stops abruptly once she can see out the window.

"What is this?" She asks.

Buck stands up and walks over to her.

Outside there is a bunch of people, coming to donate food, household supplies, old clothes, anything you can think of really.

"This is for the Vasquez family. We set this up after we were done." He starts, "I got them set up at a house until they can get a new one or rebuild their house. They will be here in a few minutes actually."

"Are you serious?" She whispers.

"Yeah. You inspired this." Buck says, "You have a heart of gold and your Christmas spirit is unmatched. It's nice, especially in this line of work."

Y/N smiles and drops her eyes to the ground, scared to meet his eyes when she says what she's going to.

"I really am in love with you, Evan Buckley. I know I was half asleep when I said it this morning, but I really do love you."

Buck lifts Y/N's chin up and leans in.

"That's a good thing, because I'm in love with you too."

He leans in and presses a soft kiss to her lips.

They pull away and Buck sighs, "What about your date after shift?"

"What date after shift?"