Father Issues - Tumblr Posts
You were born with the anger of your father and his father before him. It is a bitter inheritance.
I imprinted on my sixty year old professor like a baby chick
All you have to do is actually praising me
Loving me
Saying you're proud of me
For giving effort even if I don't want to do it
Not mocking me
Hating on me
Saying that my efforts is nothing
Only because I've been doing it differently than my siblings
I know that I'm just doing it slowly and there isn't much differences
But in my eyes, it looks different
Something that I can be proud of
I look at it and think that I've done a good job
Stop saying my efforts is nothing
I'm trying my best to live up as your child
I know I'm lazy, but you should have encouraged me
I know I'm just overreacting and wanted attention
But it's your fault too
I'm starving
Starving for your touch
Your love
Your praises make me feel happy
I always looking forward to it as a child
But since I getting that bad exam result and starting to act like a 'bratty' teenager
You look at me like I'm just another problem
Problem to be solved
Even if you don't ever asked me about my feelings
All you said is that I'm lazy, selfish and overreacting
IM LIVING FOR YOU
I'm trying to live my life as your child.
Trying to be a decent child that you can say at least one good thing
But you only mocking me when they talked about their child
Lazy, lazy, lazy
All over and over again
You know what?
You can never get your child back
Father.
You can't get your girl back anymore
Mother.
You can't get your daughter back anymore
I can no longer say I'm a father's child or mother's child
I'm neither
You heard me
Neither
Why?
When I'm sad, the only thing that I'm seeking comfort to is my teddy bear
Not you, mother
Not you, father
You both never are my comfort place to vent to
All of my tears are shed because of you
I don't care for a fact that I'm still hugging a bear
You forced me to be like this
You've gone too far at the moment I noticed that
I don't feel anything when you hug me
I don't feel the warmth of it
You're cold
Why can't I feel the love in it?
Why can't I feel it?
In another universe maybe you wouldn't rub your skin raw trying to wash away your fathers blood from your veins
Do you hate your name because it connects you to the people you once loved? The people you're convinced loved you too? Your parents religion, beliefs, and everything they wanted you to be, which you are not?
I swear to any deity listening, if I have to spend the whole day listening to my fathers conservative podcasts playing cuz that man never uses earbuds, I am going to throw hands.
Maybe her real father was the gangster she met along the way
Like father like son
They are so silly
The wind will not bat an eye to the uprooted tree that killed a daughter
The rain will not show concern to the flooded river that massacred a hometown
The sun will not display interest to the burning wildfire that annihilated a country
The sun, the rain and the wind are natural phenomenon that can't change their behaviour
You however
With the power fluctuation
Show indifference to my absence
While I am impaired without your attention
Even a glance of your eyes towards me would make my life complete
Do the things you said you'd do
To me
To me
- Sailor song Gigi Perez
The wind will not bat an eye to the uprooted tree that killed a daughter
The rain will not show concern to the flooded river that massacred a hometown
The sun will not display interest to the burning wildfire that annihilated a country
The sun, the rain and the wind are natural phenomenon that can't change their behaviour
You however
With the power fluctuation
Show indifference to my absence
While I am impaired without your attention
Even a glance of your eyes towards me would make my life complete
Do the things you said you'd do
To me
To me
- Sailor song Gigi Perez
The wind will not bat an eye to the uprooted tree that killed a daughter
The rain will not show concern to the flooded river that massacred a hometown
The sun will not display interest to the burning wildfire that annihilated a country
The sun, the rain and the wind are natural phenomenon that can't change their behaviour
You however
With the power fluctuation
Show indifference to my absence
While I am impaired without your attention
Even a glance of your eyes towards me would make my life complete
Do the things you said you'd do
To me
To me
- Sailor song Gigi Perez
just another day of being called out by tiktok
i think this would fix my every problem <3
