Hera X Zeus - Tumblr Posts
OMG YAAASSS
I want the Epic: The musical community to know that the prophet in the underworld is called Tiresias and that he was changed into a woman for seven years by Hera, became a priestes for her, and got married and had childeren. He was able to answer Hera and Zeus when they argued about if men or women enjoyed sex more (it was women btw!)
LET THE CREEPY BLIND PRIEST WHO DRINKS BLOOD AND SPEAKS OMINOUS OMENS BE GNC!!!!!
BAHAHA true
Zeus when Hera left him
And here the myth of ‘Zeus and his magic d*ck’ was made
*Zeus and Hera in the hospital getting an ultrasound*
Zeus: IS SHE OK DID WE LOSE THE BABY!???
Eileithyia: Oh. On the contrary!
Zeus: Well why is she bleeding then!?
Eileithyia: Okay, So we got your labs back. Your estrogen, progesterone and HGH are through the roof! Which would explain the spotting.
Hera: *Confused*
Eileithyia: Alright, we'll take a look here.
Elieithyia: Spotting, Very common with implantation of multiple fetuses.
Zeus: Fetu- whues?
Hera: Multiple?
Eileithyia: Yeah, take a look!
Zeus and Hera: *looks*
Hera: Two babies?
Eileithyia: Mhhhh- Nope! Three!
Hera: *in shock*
Zeus: *also in shock*
Eileithyia,*happy to be a big sister*: Congratulations!
Hera: THREE!?
Eileithyia: ...I take it from your reaction you weren't planning this?
Hera: PLANNING THIS?? WHO THE FUCK PLANS THREE BABYS?!?
Eileithyia: You need to make an appointment soon as possible with your OB.
Hera: OB? I need to make an appointment with the vet I'm having a damn litter!
Zeus: Babe, you know what this means?
Hera: ...?
Zeus: I got a magic dick.
Hera: ....
Eileithyia,*handing her some forms*: Take these forms up to the desk on your way out. And.... Good luck! *Walks away*
Zeus: I don't know whether to freak out or shove my almighty dick in everyone's face!
Hera: You need to be freaking out! I'M HAVING TRIPLETS!
Zeus: Triplets!!!!
Zeus,*jumping around*: TRIPLETS!!!!!!!
Zeus: I got a magic penis man!
Zeus: I GOT A MAGIC PENIS!!
Hera: Oh my gods....
Zeus: WOOOO HOOO-