I Cannot Make This Shit Up - Tumblr Posts

whos afraid of little old me? is so Dick Grayson coded.

tell me why my mom just did the "woman ☕️" thing irl

To the lovely people on Tumblr, please obtain this experience I've just had.

So I was just chilling at a bus stop because I needed to catch the train but I autopiloted to the bus stop, but it's ok the train was across the street and I could see it. Plus there was a nice breeze too so it wasn't too bad.

And there's these two probably grade 8-9 boys dressed as fried eggs. And I'm like wtf ok.

This was the costume. v

So I go to walk to the train station when I see the train pull in (It sits for a while BC I'm at the start of the line).

And they are setting off a fucking firework. Like one of those little ones, a firecracker or something. So they yell at me to not step on it. Which I don't dw.

Now I was in a snarky mood. And not up for dealing with bullshit.

And I'm like bro why are you doing that in public and they are like "BC we are Eggs!!!" And I'm like "Clearly because you have no brains."

And I go to walk away and they go "LESBIAN" so as I walk away, I turn around and go "WOOOOO I KISS WOMENNN".

They proceeded to throw deodorant at me. It missed and lands on the ground and I go "Why throw this at me, you clearly need this." And walk away. And they are just yelling at me as I walk away. They didn't follow me, I caught my train.

I am worried.

yesterday at the dinner table my sister just menacingly whispered "mentally ill" in my ear and then proceeded to jump out of her chair and start running around the kitchen screaming at the top of her lungs before promptly sitting back down like nothing had happened. I...do not know what to do with her