I Hate It I Hate It I Hate It - Tumblr Posts - Page 3
I love how my problems are literally talked over when a few hours ago I was helping this person with all my will
I guess I don't deserve to get help
I was on a New Year Eve party
And there was this one uncle
And he was staring at me all the time
And it was kinda uncomfortable
And after the party, when we were taking him home he said that I was supposed to sit on his lap
And that if my other uncle and aunt didn't come home we could crash at his place and that I should sleep with him in bed
Ugh
No, thanks
As much as I like older men, he ain't my type
Had a panic attack in the overcrowded train, almost fainted and almost vomited
Also I lost my earphone...yes, one
⚠️TW⚠️
Plan for today and tomorrow:
- starve
- exercise
- cut
- attempt
Enjoy!
Survived so don't worry
Btw when I sent my friends a picture at first they were like "nah it's a joke or smth" but later on they were worried. I wasn't answering but I just went earlier to bed.
Finally someone was worried about me. It's not mentally unstable tiktok version, never been.
⚠️TW⚠️
Plan for today and tomorrow:
- starve
- exercise
- cut
- attempt
Enjoy!
You know how it feels to go to uni after an attempt and pretend like nothing had happened?
Pretend that there is no problem with you at all....
And they will never know that I tried, and tried, and tried to take my own life while they were watching stupid movies in the next room
I really enjoy hiding the truth, as my "mum" said, I'm a master at it
"I live"
How funny it sounds after so many attempts of taking my own life
How this shit means literally nothing to me
It's just a sentence
Just words
I laugh when I hear it, say it or see it
Because I know how meaningless it is
My "mum" found out I'm cutting myself and she got mad!
Jokes on her!
Bitch
"Mum": What did you eat?
Me: Oh, just some grapes
"Dad": Nothing hot? That's not good
Me: Well...
"Mum": Don't you have any eating disorders?
Me: Fuck no!
And even if I did, I don't fit into the ICD/DSM criteria, so theoretically, no
Damn
sex is cool but have you ever been good enough
But that was for a greater cause!
Pretending idgaf when I lowkey mutilated my body irreparably over it
There is A LOT wrong with me
there’s something wrong with me.
there’s something wrong with me.
there’s something wrong with me.
there’s something wrong with me.
there’s something wrong with me.
I just confronted my "parents" about me not being Christian anymore
They were mad, especially my "dad"
Like they were trying to make me change my decision
I'm a Paganist and a Satanist, Omnist in overall, and they were saying that Satan is bad, God kicked him out of heaven for a reason blah blah blah
BITCH?
That's my decision, fucking accept that
Sleep is good but have you ever been treated like a real child and haven't been called stupid by your "parents"?
Can't relate
"Mum": Can we please talk?
Me, already almost crying: yeah
*30 minutes later*
Me, eyes full of tears, going no-verbal after this talk
It was supposed to be a talk when she just tried to explain some matters but it ended in her pressuring me to show her my arms, to tell her my problems and thoughts, belittling me and more
Yeah, happy house
Why people believe in me more than I do?
I'm bad at everything
I can't achieve anything
I just can't
And yet they still believe in me
What a mistake
It's hard functioning with cut shoulder
Yeah, I know, I did it myself and yes, I'll be complaining about it
I don't know what happened at work but I hallucinated that a horse was behind me (I work with horses but all horses were in front of me) and it blew air at me and I screamed that it shocked all people watching. It was so scary and confusing. No one was behind me and yet I felt that and heard
Fellow SHers,
Go check out @llnsomnia and their blog
It's aesthetically beautiful and relatable
Thank me later,
Love you,
Ryuu
(probably shouldn't do that but well....shit happens, right)