Im Not Crying Youre Crying - Tumblr Posts
I Love You Forever - Two Steps From Hell
I was planning to take a small social media break but I saw the amazing headcanon that Argyle and Billy might have been friends in California! It such a sweet idea that I just had to draw something with that :) There’s something so special about childhood friendships and having seen someone through everything including growth spurts and the preteen awkward phase! And in a scenario where Billy lived, seeing that pizza van would be like some sort of miracle after everything he’s endured.
gosh but like we spent hundreds of years looking up at the stars and wondering “is there anybody out there” and hoping and guessing and imagining
because we as a species were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species and we wanted to talk to them and we wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe
and we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us– we got scared that we were going to blow each other up, we got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently, we got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them
and then
we built robots?
and we gave them names and we gave them brains made out of silicon and we pretended they were people and we told them hey you wanna go exploring, and of course they did, because we had made them in our own image
and maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more, maybe yeah the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead, and if other people come from the stars we won’t be around to meet them and say hi! how are you! we’re people, too! you’re not alone any more!, maybe we’ll be gone
but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?
the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.
and they told us to tell you hello.
Do you know what breaks my heart?
Knowing that Odysseus probably still feels so guilty he can barely breathe, he's just suppressing it and filling the void with Penelope.
That's why she's finally showing up more plainly in this second part because Odysseus needs to believe that something will be worth all the guilt and all the suffering and that something is Penelope.
That's why she sings that she "will take the suffering" from him, because that's his hope, that's what he needs to believe because otherwise, it was all in vain.
And you know what's even worse?
Even if he does reach Ithaca, and even if he does have his "happy ending" (which I have no idea if it'll happen because I never read The Odyssey but I know enough about Greek Mythology and tragedies that I don't think so), it'll not be happy.
It'll be so bittersweet it makes my heart ache in ways I can't even bear.
I imagine Odysseus will never be able to swim with Telemachus and Penelope again, even if it's just a river, because he'd not know to differentiate between siren Penelope and real Penelope then.
I imagine he will never be able to look at his sister the same knowing that he caused her husband's death and so will she.
I imagine he will have to face his other men, who will know (or so Odysseus will think) that he sacrificed several of them to be there again.
I imagine he will have to discover all over again how to be a father to teenager Telemachus who doesn't even remember what is like to have a father, let alone see Odysseus as one.
I imagine if he will ever sleep in peace again, fearing that the gods will find him there once and for all.
I'm not crying, you are!
A Story That Has No Name
After Ianto died, Jack started seeing his ghost.
He could see him, he could talk to him, except that, it wasn’t the real him.
It wasn't even Ianto's ghost, or at least not his real ghost. He had no thoughts. He had no feelings. he was not real. Any emotions he felt came from Jack, and he would be there as long as Jack remembered him.
At first, Jack didn't realize that it wasn't the real Ianto, or even if he did, he did not want to admit it. He let himself drown in his memories, away from reality, away from the world, away from everything.
And all this time, Ianto was with him.
Later he went to the House of the Dead. Of course he would. He wouldn't miss any chance to see Ianto again. Even though he knew that, the person he met might not be the real Ianto.
But Ianto saved the world again. He saved Jack again. So Jack told him that he loved him and that he longed to see him, and then he said goodbye to Ianto for the last time.
He left the House of the Dead. And when he walked out of the door of that shabby bar, he found that the phantom of Ianto he had always seen was still by his side.
Seven months after the House of the Dead, Jack learned how to make coffee. From his view, it was the phantom Ianto teaching him hand by hand. But Ianto Jones was not really here, and Jack Harkness was always alone. The so-called Ianto teaching him how to make coffee was actually him remembering how Ianto did it - in the early morning in his apartment, after Jack occasionally spent the night there with him. He remembered how the morning sun shone on Ianto's fingertips and how the steam from the coffee pot filled Ianto's eyes.
So Jack couldn’t help but smiled, and Ianto - the Ianto he knew was not Ianto - smiled back at him.
When he turned around, the sun shone gently into his eyes.
A year after CoE, Jack's coat was accidentally scratched a little. He had scratched his coat before, but Ianto would always fix it for him. But this time, he wouldn't do it again. He couldn’t do it never again.
Jack looked at his coat and realized that it was bought by Ianto on the first day of Children of Earth, the last gift Ianto gave him. He folded it and put it on his lap. He was crying to a coat.
He felt that another part of Ianto had left him.
Three years after CoE, when the Miracle Day had ended, Jack left the Earth again. One day, the phantom Ianto asked him, saying that he hadn't seen Jack wearing that coat for a long time. He gave Ianto a grin and joked that he just didn't want to damage it because he could never learn how to fix it properly. And Ianto shrugged saying that he could always teach him.
The way he shrugged really looked like the real Ianto, Jack thought. But this was Ianto. This was the Ianto in his memory.
Ten years after CoE, he asked Yvonne from the parallel universe that if there was a person named Ianto Jones in her life. But this Yvonne didn't know Ianto Jones, and the Yvonne who knew Ianto Jones had died in Canary Wharf, more than a decade ago.
The phantom Ianto was beside him, trying to hold his hand. But his fingertips went through, and fell into the hollow air.
Fifty years after CoE, Jack began to forget Ianto's voice - One day when he habitually talked to Ianto about Gwen, he found that Ianto didn't speak. He asked Ianto why he didn't speak. Ianto shook his head and smiled sadly at him.
Then he suddenly realized that he didn't remember Ianto's voice.
Two hundred years after CoE, the face of the phantom Ianto faded away, as if it was covered by a veil. Jack couldn't see him clearly, but he knew that Ianto was still there.
He knew that this was because he started to forget what Ianto looked like. But fortunately, he still had Ianto's photos, which could help him remember.
But photos also grows old, so another two hundred years passed, Jack finally forgot Ianto’s eyes.
One thousand years after CoE, he began to have new lovers. He loved each of them, but he was always losing them. Everyone around him was dying, and he couldn't save them from death. He couldn't save anyone from death.
But, still, when he was with his lover, he knew that the phantom Ianto was watching him. He didn't blame Jack, Jack knew. He knew that Ianto wanted to tell him that he was happy that Jack could go on, could love someone else, and could have a new life.
But Jack didn't go on.
Jack was sad. Jack was really sad.
Two thousand years after CoE, the phantom Ianto was almost obscured, like a worn-out photo, no matter how hard Jack tried, he couldn't keep Ianto clear. So he knew, he began to forget the way Ianto dressed.
What did he like to wear? What did he like to eat? How would his eyebrows frown when he was annoyed? Not to mention his dry wit and sarcastic humor.
Jack didn't remember.
Human memory is a strange thing. He forgot a lot of things, he forgot too many things. But he couldn't forget the name of Ianto Jones.
Ten thousand years after CoE, the phantom Ianto appeared less frequently in front of him. But he would occasionally come to accompany Jack for a while, like when Jack didn't go to the bar or be with anyone on a certain night. When he was alone, in the moonlight, Ianto Jones would come back to him.
It was at this time that Jack Harkness realized that he rarely look back upon Ianto’s name.
Five billion years after CoE, the Earth began to burn. At this time, Jack Harkness was no longer Jack Harkness, and Ianto Jones was long buried in his mind. But when he watched the Earth begin to collapse, collapse in front of him, he suddenly saw that figure again.
He saw a handsome young man, a handsome young man wearing a striped suit and a violet tie.
The Face of Boe closed his eyes, and a name appeared. He couldn’t help to utter that name, the name that had survived billion years in his mind --
How are you gonna remember him
Even long after he's gone.
notes:
Okay I finally finished this translation of my own work as I promised three years ago.. It was originally posted in 2021 in Mandarin and for some reason (or we should say my laziness) I didn't translated it until now, with some minor changes of course.
The original work in Mandarin is here if anyone is interested :3
As always, pls forgive my English and any suggestions are welcomed!
So Long, London as the Benthan breakup from Ethan's POV -
"And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white knuckle dying grip Holding tight to your quiet resentment and My friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there So how much sad did you think I had, Did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think I'd go? Before I'd self-implode Before I'd have to go be free"
LIKE????
111 Thoughts I Had While Watching: The Edge of Love (2008)
Keira Knightley, Sienna Miller, and oh, would you look at that.
Keira can sing?
1940s? London Blitz? Based on a true story? Tissues on hand.
Childhood friends to lovers sounds like a good plot.
Smoking is bad for you, kids. Don’t do it.
Wait, he’s married and a dad? This will be interesting.
Tommy Shelby? Ariana What are you doing here?
Man, the handkerchief line was smooooooth!
Vera giving Caitlin her number? They were definitely flirting.
Getting serious Moulin Rouge vibes with the coloured spotlights.
Tommy do be smitten like a lovesick kitten and I love it.
LOOK AT THAT SMILE, I’M IN LOVE!
“When he looks at me, and I look at him!” ~ Vera, maybe.
His name’s William.
THEM FLIRTING, AGH!
Imagine having a good drink and then the earth shakes.
“They all melt at the sight of a uniform.” VERA, I AM A PUDDLE!
He’s walking her home? Where can I find me a gentleman like that?
“A sad poem about a 100 year old man. Great.” ~ Caitlin, definitely.
Caitlin loves Dylan, Dylan loves Vera, Vera loves Dylan, Will loves Vera.
Not a love triangle, a love rectangle?
Cillian, when will you do ASMR with that voice?
Vera and Caitlin reading in bed together. They’re in love, Your Honour.
Caitlin if all you’re good for is nurturing his talent, break up with him!
Another air raid?
Stopping a street fight without violence? Will, marry me already.
Again, don’t smoke kids. Unless you’re a movie character.
CILLIAN SINGS? WHAT? HOW THE -- HOW DID I NOT KNOW?
“Dylan, Caitlin, I’m right there. Why are you --” ~ Vera, definitely.
Vera, if you don’t dance with William, then move over, let me have him!
The way he comforts her after the air raid? WHERE ARE MY TISSUES?
“You have a raindrop running down your cheek, like a tear.” I CAN’T!
“No word of mine will ever hurt you.” WILLIAM, I BEG YOU TO STOP!
They’re doing the spicy time now and I’m crying. Thanks.
NO, MOTHER, I AM NOT OKAY!
“That should be me.” ~ Dylan, maybe.
Dylan, enough, she’s in love with someone else, okay?!
“Don’t write poems for me anymore?” Caitlin dump his sorry butt.
Vera.....why are you looking at Dylan like that? Sus.
William’s been posted? No!!!
NOT WILLIAM BEING ADORABLE!!!!
Dylan and Vera were childhood lovers. See, I was right!
Why shouldn’t she tell William about it?
Two girls, chillin’ in a tub, five feet apart, cause they’re not gay.
Happy music time.
“FOR OLD TIMES SAKE, EH? WHY’D YOU KISS HER?” ~ William.
And now they’re singing together in Welsh. A love song, I guess?
Oh, I know where this is going and I don’t like it.
The way Caitlin tried to cheer William up. Awwww.
“Love me, love me, say that you love me,” ~ William, maybe.
All he’s asking is for honesty, girl!
You can’t even tell him you love him? HE’S GOING OFF TO WAR!
Why did I half expect her to shout “I love you” before he got on the plane?
He’s so poetic even in his letters.
Oh, no. She’s got the sicky icky which means she’s pregnant.
She doesn’t want the baby, and yet -- hold on!
A nurse telling Vera not to scream and Caitlin telling her off. ICONIC!
A birth and an arm amputation? What an.... interesting parallel.
Imma just skip over this part because it’s sad and a bit graphic.
Okay, now she’s in Wales writing a letter telling William to come home.
“It’s not what I married you for?” GIRL, WHAT?
I JUST WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG!!! *sniffles*
Wait, Dylan’s got a new woman? I’m not surprised, just disappointed.
“If you were a man, I’d fancy you.” ~ Caitlin.
YES, CAITLIN, GET HIM!!!!
You sleep with other women because you’re a poet? WHAT?
I write poetry and I don’t have a partner, but if I did, I wouldn’t CHEAT!
You know what, you and Vera deserve each other. I’m done with this.
See? Even the patrons at the bar know something’s up with them.
Who’s looking after the kids while Caitlin’s on her bike?
Don’t drink and bike, okay?
Just friends, huh, Vera? Why’d you kiss him on your wedding day, then?
He can’t even play with his kid? That’s sad.
Flushing the poem down the toilet? Not what I expected but good on you.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU MADE HER CRY!!!
Now you’re taking a bath together? What’s William gonna think, huh?
Poor boy is shell-shocked.
I thought you said you were going to tell him you love him.
He can’t even hold or look at his child because he knows the truth.
Now he’s broke because you spent all his money.
See? Told you he’d find out.
Wait, what’s the child’s name? Rowatt? That’s a new one for the books.
I already have a bad feeling about this Anita person.
IT WASN’T THE BRITISH WHO RISKED THEIR LIVES!? WHAT?!
Will had to watch a soldier’s arm be amputated!
Dylan, you’re friends with these people!?
You have the AUDACITY to LAUGH while he’s having a breakdown?
She’s just antagonizing him at this point. *sips water.*
I shouldn’t say it’s okay that he slapped her, but SHE HAD IT COMIN’!
William, whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t.
Going to your wife’s boyfriend’s house with a weapon.... Oh, no.
You weren’t aiming for anyone, but still, not the best idea, love.
He told Caitlin what happened.
Aww, he’s sad because there’s a bruise on Vera’s cheek.
And because he scared Caitlin’s son and doesn’t like the screaming.
COME ON VERA, MAKE A SMART CHOICE FOR ONCE!
Thank you. I am this close *spreads arms out* to forgiving you.
Okay, this moment with William and his son? I’m crying again, darn it!!!
“Lashes like feathers, like yours.” WILLIAM! MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT!
Not surprising the police are involved after the incident.
See? Caitlin wonder’s if the kid is Dylan’s, too.
“You’re my friend.” SAYS THE GIRL WHO SLEPT WITH BESTIE’S MAN?
Asbestos walls? Aren’t they dangerous nowadays?
“Scratch my head, Cat.” No, Dylan. Kiss my- Oh, look a rainbow!
How was he supposed to know the walls were poorly built?
If you can’t live without him, why’d you cheat on him, then?
“It’s my firm belief that he tried to murder me.....”
FORGET DEEP BREATHS, I’M SCREAMING INTO MY PILLOW.
Wait! No evidence of murder? Yay, I guess?
NO, NOT A HAPPY CAITLIN AND VERA MONTAGE OF THE PAST?
Everyone made peace with each other. That’s nice.
I was half expecting a sad ending, but I’m so glad it wasn’t. Also, no, I didn’t cry a hundred times, what are you talking about?!
PLEASE! I NEED MORE! I REQUIRE THIS SUSTENENCE TO SURVIVE!
Imagine you’ve been working in the association for a long time. Your hands are bruised and your knuckles have scars that overlap with one another. Now, let’s say you’ve been wanting out for a while, decide to settle down in Japan when you start meeting up and talking to an older gentleman regularly. He’s calm, he’s tranquil, the peaceful and wise type. That’s what he seems like, but looking at him as closely as you have, you know that that’s not all there is. The long nights spent at home have told you otherwise. Maybe he’s not as scarred as you are, but Shigeru’s seen the path you’ve walked upon and knows how you feel in the cold mornings when the sun isn’t hot enough to warm you.
Your scars ache a little, and when you roll over, he’s pressing his face against your shoulder. It’s still so early, and he doesn’t want you to leave him just yet.
“Stay a while”, he hums into your skin, his beard is scratchy… but you like how it feels.
You sit there, but alas, you’ve lost the sleep in your eyes. A weird sort of alertness that lingers from your past life makes it hard to try and fall back into its embrace. It’s not hard to fall into the gentle hug of the older man behind you, however. His arms wrap around your waist, his hands resting on your stomach. Carefully, his fingers thumb over an old scar of yours. One from a job you took a couple of years ago, right when you were first starting out. The gentleman rests his thumb over it, pressing a little where the exit wound used to be.
He hums, and you figure that it means he’s curious about it. Shigeru always had stories to tell, which made him so fascinating. It wasn’t often that you spoke of yourself, not that you had much to hide, so this was one of those rare times where he wouldn’t have to ask to want to learn more about you. You smile, though he cannot see it. The specifics and details of that mission aren’t crystal clear to you anymore, but you recall enough to where you can spin a story of your own to tell.
He’d be mildly amused by how naive you used to be, how simple jobs seemed on paper before they were executed in such a literal sense. You tell him how it didn’t hurt at the time, and he thumbs over that spot in deep muse. It could’ve killed you, kept you from meeting him in your future together.
“You truly are remarkable”, he’d say.
“I could say the same of you”, you’d reply, looking over your shoulder.
You’ve both lingered in bed long enough. After a short but sweet kiss, you and the elder roll out of bed to get ready for the day that waits.
So sick of dog motif what about cat motif.
I love you but we don't love the same. I can't be near you when you want me to be. Your love is smothering and your need to keep me safe is trapping me. I'm my own person but I don't know how to show you that. I lash out and hurt you even though I don't mean to. I need you to move slowly around me or I'll bolt. I love you, even though I don't say it. If you stay still I'll sit next to you, and even though we don't understand each other we can be together like that.
OH MY LORD!! Why didn’t somebody warn me about this scene?!?
I told you I was afraid that I would get you back… only to lose you. And that’s what this is.
This literally makes me cry stop-
Day 3: Brother
Better late than never.
Oswald learns why Mick has a plushy of him. It's a little deeper than he thought. Nothing will keep them apart nor is Oswald going anywhere
not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]
On a whim I just redrew like 10 pages of I eat pasta for breakfast with my interps so-
Thalia doesn’t keep many things in the hundreds of years she’s been alive.
But long ago, there were people, their names all but distant memories, who mattered in her 1st lifetime. It’s their things that stay hidden in her bag, reminding her of her mortal life.
A blue hoodie, worn almost threadbare. The scent of its original owner, long since leached from the fabric. But if she closes her eyes, she can almost see the blue eyes of her first and only love.
A pair of glasses. Frames cracked and crooked. A reminder of a brother she never got to truly know.
A baseball cap. It’s magic long faded, branded with a forgotten logo. Memories of a blonde girl laughing hidden deep within.
A letter. Ink fading, paper yellow. The last words of a dying friend. Words that wish her well, words that wished her well in a world they had fought side by side to save.
Thalia doesn’t keep a lot of things, but even after all this time, Luke, Jason, Annabeth, and Percy will stay with her forever. The memories of her first family to remind her why life is so beautiful.
SHE KEPT THE FLOWER
#she kept the flower
AGATHA ALL ALONG 1.04 - If I Can’t Reach You / Let My Song Teach You
this is def 2 am posting, but i love having friends:( i love friends deeply and passionately and with as much care as i would someone romantic, because platonic love can be JUST AS if not more passionate. i love the way my girl friends will talk about their interests, i love when they write or have complicated ideas and ways of thinking. i love how she borders on poetic when she talks about MY work like IM the cool one, miss, you’re talented and beautiful and an amazing human being (i hope she sees this but also not because im being “that sappy friend”) i🩷u pooks