Incorrect Hogwarts Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Ravenclaw: Are you guys nervous about the presentation tomorrow?
Hufflepuff: I’m just hoping that everything will be alright!
Ravenclaw: I’m freaking out here! That will define our grades!
Slytherin: I’m chill.
Ravenclaw: HOW?!
Slytherin: I just keep in my mind that time is slowly passing by and our presentation doesn’t matter, because we are getting closer to our deaths and everything we know and care about is going to end. So why bother?
Ravenclaw:
Hufflepuff: … Do you need a hug?
Tom Riddle attempts to (mis)educate purebloods about WWII
Mulciber: "But why don’t you want to go back, Tom? Other than the fact that they’re, you know, Muggles."
Tom *aggressively shoves books in trunk*: "There’s a war going on. Didn’t you know that?"
Mulciber: "Yeah, I know about Grindelwald — what do you take us for, Tom — idiots?"
Tom (near the end of his tether): "Not Grindelwald. A Muggle war."
Rosier (confused): "But, er, who are they fighting?"
Tom: "Other Muggles. Germans, mostly."
Mulciber: "For Merlin’s sake, why? Don’t Muggles all like the same things? Like filth and what’s it called again — electrics?"
Tom: Looks very hard at Mulciber, and debates the use of teaching wizards about the evils of fascism.
Tom: Decides against it.
Tom: "Muggle stuff."
is this anyone else's headcanon for teddy lupin?
Teddy Lupin normally: absolute cinnamon roll.
Teddy Lupin when someone insults/threatens his family/friends/the younger students who follow him around: ah, so you've chosen death.
Abraxas Malfoy: Don’t you find it exhausting constantly being right?
Tom Riddle: It’s the only thing holding me together at this point.
what if? the female characters got along?
"And she's teaching Defence." Hermione slumped forward and put her head in her hands, peeking out between her fingers with a weary expression. "We'll never be able to protect ourselves when he comes for us."
"Mother Goddess," said Parvati dramatically from somewhere in the back, "who said we need the old bat? Gin, tell them all what you just told me and Lav."
mordred (locket!tom): i am hot and unkillable tee (diary!tom): i'm clinically depressed scarcrux: it's like i'm not even fucking here
scorpius: red hair and an irritating sense of self-righteousness, must be yet another weasley lily: incorrect! white-blond hair and a bad attitude, must be a malfoy!
Does Hogwarts have a sex ed class? Who teaches it? And why is it Snape?
tom (under his breath): someone will die minerva: ... poppy: of fun! minerva: oh, poppy
Hufflepuff: I'm too lazy if there were two half full bottles of water I'd drink from both of them so I don't have to fill one up again.
Ravenclaw: I'm too lazy I'd drink one of the bottles and wait for another thirsty person to fill it up.
Gryffindor: I'm too lazy I'll just awallow my slavia
Slytherin: I'm too lazy I'll just die of thirst.
Ravenclaw: Why are u grinning like that???
Slytherin: Why can't I smile regularly for no reason at all??? Hufflepuff does that all the time-
Hufflepuff,trying her best to go down the moving stairs: WELL I DONT GRIN CAUSE GRYFFINDOR FELL DOWN THE MOVING STAIRS AND BROKE THREE BONES YOU SICK FUCK-
Ravenclaw,probably drunk: stop doing start dreaming.
Slytherin,even more high: yeah that shit takes years of your life but dreams? They take a second.
Ravenclaw: hard work takes ages!
Slytherin: damn light-years-
Ravenclaw,suddenly goes back to function mode: the light years are used for distance in space you asshole