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Travel Guides
Here you will find the Continent's helpful guides where you can familiarize yourself with the land. Each one is written by an expert within their respective country, and "The Continent" guide is written by a fae elder.
✶ The Continent
✶ Jinaia
✶ Sugaru
✶ Hobius
✶ Joonia
✶ Chimni
✶ Traetos
✶ Kooju
© thekaykery 2023
Portraits were done by @winterofherdiscontent. I asked for permission to use them and they gave me their consent.
The Continent
History
When it was first created by the deities of old, the Continent had a name: Crystallia. Within Crystallia, there were many countries and kingdoms constantly warring due to greed. Crystallia’s creators stayed out of mortal affairs, but when the land became hell itself, they finally interfered. They wiped Crystallia clean: the famine, disease, and the humans. Even the dragons, but they fought back, and some survived. While the dragons went into hiding, the deities of old appointed a minor goddess to repurpose their failure of humanity into something new, to prove herself worthy.
Her name was Armi, and she was the goddess of friendship and love.
She accepted their offer with gratitude and began immediately. Instead of renaming the land, Armi simply called it the Continent. Although she knew she could not erase the mistake Crystallia was, she molded something new out of it. She mapped out seven countries and gave each of them a capital; carved out lakes and mountains; grew forests and plains; and tended deserts and tundra. Once each country had its own unique environment, Armi then created her first sentient beings. Not only did she not make humans, but faeries and werewolves and vampires.
Armi hoped her creations would live in harmony, but they did not. Humans turned against the immortals, slaughtering the vampires and a majority of the fae. They even tried battling the dragons and werewolves just to fail. As she watched, Armi could not help but be disappointed with herself. What went wrong? What could she have done differently? Were all humans instinctively cruel towards those who weren’t like them? Was there some sort of flaw in their design?
Soon she learned it was not her fault. Humans would always hate. It was always there, deep in their blood and souls, an error incapable of correction. Humans just could not accept those who were different than them. Armi observed as the dragons, wolves, and surviving fae fled north to rebuild and heal, leaving the humans behind in the south.
Once they were gone, the humans realized they couldn’t survive without their immortal counterparts; their wisdom and intelligence; their strength and power. They grew angry, furious from abandonment and blamed it on Armi. She tried to soothe them by becoming one of them, to subtly help them survive on their own. But when they discovered her true identity, they murdered her in cold blood, martyring her out of hatred.
The immortals mourned their goddess while the humans rejoiced, free from the supposedly tyrannical Armi. Yet in the following months, the Continent soon began to die. Soil turned brittle, and rain became scarce. Food wasn’t growing. Animals were dying. Only when they were on the brink of starvation did the humans realize what they had done. Armi's very existence was the life source of the Continent, and in killing her, they were killing themselves.
To honor Armi and her blessings, to somehow earn her forgiveness, the humans built a religion in her name. They called it armina and constructed the basics around her passion and her kindness, for everything she did for them. They named the followers Boras, an ancient word for purple in memory of the robes she wore. Others took inspiration, and more religions sprouted throughout the Continent. But as time went on, only the humans remembered Armi. The immortals, forever in mourning, let her rest and forgot about her.
Years later, a miracle occurred. On the night High Priest Yoongi was born, Armi reached out to him from her plane of existence, blessing him with her knowledge, wisdom, and eternal life. Her parting words to him were, “Correct my wrongs. Heal the wounds I’ve caused.” Yoongi has followed her since, not daring to disobey her.
Because High Priest Yoongi was chosen by Armi to be her vessel, Boras believe he is Armi reincarnated. In Sugaru, the land where she passed, they worship him as a god.
Present Day
Like the day Armi first created the Continent, the seven original countries still remain with the same names: Jinaia, Sugaru, Hobius, Joonia, Chimni, Traetos, and Kooju. Although the capitals have fallen and been reborn several times, the existing capitals have stayed for a few centuries. Unlike the day they were brought to life, humans learned to coexist with their immortal counterparts. The fae, werewolves, and dragons have recuperated and thrive, but vampires remain extinct. It is unknown if there are any surviving lineages or bloodlines.
The present Continent is peaceful. There has not been war since the current capitals were built, and while there were tense relationships, there was never an outbreak of battle. Things were resolved before they got out of hand.
Basic Information
The Continent’s common currency is the adora. Most transactions are made with adora. Armi created this currency in honor of the deity who stood up for her the most.
As stated before, the Continent’s most prominent religion is armina, but there are other religions. Such practices are similar to our world’s christianity, lutheranism, islam, and judaism. The official names for the other religions are as follows:
Catallia (Christianity)
Lukana (Lutheranism)
Ismala (Islam)
Jedwa (Judaism)
Atheism remains the same both in our world and in the Continent.
Fun Facts
About the rulers
All seven leaders are actually friends, but since they are busy with duties, it is tough for them to meet and spend time together.
Kooju’s Jeon Jeongguk and Joonia’s Kim Namjoon have a close relationship.
Traetos’ Kim Taehyung and Chimni’s Park Jimin have been best friends since they were children.
Jinaia’s Kim Seokjin is the oldest of the group while Kooju’s Jeon Jeongguk is the youngest.
Despite their differences in age and race, the seven of them get along quite well. Arguments are rare between them.
They are quick to resolve any disputes between each other before it gets out of hand.
About Jinaia
High King Kim Seokjin is the first High Fae ruler since the creation of Jinaia.
Marriage between the fae and humans is prominent. This is more common with female fae and human men.
The dunes lining the ocean to the south are popular tourist spots. Swimming and enjoying the sunlight are two common pastimes.
Beach houses can be found near the ocean.
Jinaia’s celebrations are second to Hobius’.
Seafood native to Jinaia is exceptionally delicious.
About Sugaru
A majority of the members in the Holy Order – which is the governing body of Sugaru beneath High Priest Min Yoongi –consist of women.
Marriage is uncommon in Sugaru. Most dedicate their lives practicing and studying armina.
Due to being blessed with eternal life at birth, High Priest Min Yoongi has been living for a few centuries.
Sex is strictly forbidden within the Holy Order. One must fully sacrifice themselves and their desires to fully appreciate and follow Armi.
About Hobius
Alcohol in Citrinus is known to make the consumer giggly. It's nicknamed "giggle juice."
Hobius' parties are the grandest in all of the Continent.
A majority of guests attending are directed towards nobles. Commonfolk are rarely invited.
Receiving a personal invitation by Grandmaster Jung Hoseok is considered a high honor.
Though they party and drink often, Hobians are humble people.
Marriage between the fae and humans is also common in Hobius. It is more common with male fae and female women.
About Joonia
Joonian dragons have not transformed into their ancient forms in a very long time.
The dragons are deeply appreciated for their sacrifice when the deities of old attempted to destroy them.
Although times have changed, humans are still wary of dragons. It is the same vice-versa.
High Dragon Lord Kim Namjoon was born a few decades before Crystallia was wiped clean for Armi. The destruction haunts him to this day.
About Chimni
Marriage between the fae and humans is also common in Chimni. Female fae and human men are a slightly higher percentage than male fae and human women.
Chimni sends a majority of their crystals to Joonia's jewelers and craftsmen.
Though most Chimnian fae despise their new leader, a few of them do like their High Seer.
The High Seer's deceased mother is highly praised for birthing Chimni's leader.
High Seer Park Jimin feels closer to his mother's people than his father's.
About Traetos
Traeton faeries are quite fond of humans. They believe humans are cute in contrast to their fragility.
Amethyst is often worn in Traetos for guidance and comfort.
The fae who were created by Armi themselves reside in Thysta, Traetos' capital.
High Lord Kim Taehyung takes their wisdom and leadership seriously.
One Elder is his great-great-great-grandmother.
About Kooju
In Kooju, humans are a rare sight, which means it's extremely rare for them to be a wolf's mate.
Kooju’s capital Beryle is known for its pleasure houses.
Male werewolves are passionate lovers in bed.
Many females have attempted to woo High Alpha Jeon Jeongguk, but none have succeeded.
Because of his lack of interest in love and mates, most wolves believe their High Alpha doesn't have a mate.
© thekaykery 2023
Jinaia
Ruler: Kim Seokjin
Crystal: Rubellite
Capital: Rubellia (roo-bell-li-ah)
Society
Since love is the most valued belief, Jinaians are welcoming to outsiders from the Continent and other lands. It is encouraged to accept someone who's struggling into the home and help them. Homeless shelters are common in the capital, and some are in better shape than others. The fae and humans are the two prominent races in Jinaia. Citizens are encouraged to love whomever they want without fear or scrutiny. The people of Jinaia are creative, flexible, tactful, and compassionate. Celebrations are held often to commemorate milestones and marriages. A majority of the population lives near the coast, but a few live inland in the plains and forests, tending to crops and livestock.
Economy
Jinaia profits most from the sea. Coastal towns are constantly popping up and thriving, rich with saltwater fish, coral, and seagrass. In Rubellia, saltwater and freshwater fish, pearls, dead coral and shells are popular treasures. The pearl industry benefits greatly from Jinaian clam farms. Grain and livestock are native to inner Jinaia. Beef and pork are costly, which is why Jinaian commonfolk stick with seafood. Jinaians also procurate lobsters and shrimp. Seafood dishes served in other countries are of Jinaian origin.
Environment & Climate
The weather in the cities closer to the ocean differentiates between balmy and warm to scorching and dry. It depends on the mood of the sea, the strength of the wind, and the intensity of the waves. The vast dunes are similar to beaches, receiving lovely weather and producing life. Inner Jinaia is calmer and cooler, rain a regular occurrence in the early spring to late summer. In the upper northwest, it does snow, but rarely, so Jinaian humans and fae are often surprised by it when traveling north.
Seokjin as High King
Background
Born to a noble fae family, Seokjin had a difficult time earning his title and role as High King. He was often ridiculed; the people would never love him, would never accept a fae ruler. But Seokjin fought hard, promising himself to never be cruel like the previous human kings. When he ascended to the throne, Jinaia initially had troubles adjusting to his new rules and regulations, but they learned to love Seokjin. He is a kind, gracious High King, wishing only the best for his people and country. He mends his mistakes and listens to his subjects, assisting with their problems. In his free time, Seokjin likes to leave his castle to walk amongst his people, dressed undercover to see how they’re faring. If he spots an issue or something he does not like, it will be addressed. Criminality is not common, since Seokjin is a fair ruler, but occasional trials will be held for murder or other unforgivable acts.
Personality
Seokjin is charming and incredibly handsome, something he acquired from his fae parents. It is easy to woo someone into bed with him, especially female courtiers. When needed, Seokjin will be firm and resolve issues sprouting within his court, but he is usually easy-going and carefree. Sometimes he desires to be released from his duties as High King, but his love for his country and people stops him from resigning. Due to Seokjin’s heritage, the human nobles have a tough time trusting him due to the fae’s ability to twist the truth. His immortality is a whole other issue, yet Seokjin does his best to be “human” so he’s tolerated within the mortal noble circle.
Hierarchy of the Court
High King/Queen
King/Queen
Count/Countess
Baron/Baroness
Strongest branches of militia
Duke/Duchess
Lord/Lady
While war isn’t a worry, the countries within the Continent have prepared necessary forces for battle. The readiness is for external invasions rather than internal.
Jinaia’s strongest branches are the navia (navy) and maria (marines). Since most of his borders share the sea, Seokjin is concerned about the risks other lands pose. Jinaia is also the largest country in the Continent, so it is more likely to be targeted first. A majority of the higher-ups consist of both lesser fae and High Fae because of their knowledge. This often creates discord among human troops.
Religion
Most of Jinaia worships the goddess Armi. Armina is more prominent in human households than immortal ones. Catallia, lukana, ismala, and jedwa are also practiced. Atheism is common amongst immortal Jinaians.
Important locations
Will be added
© thekaykery 2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
Sugaru
Ruler: Min Yoongi
Crystal: Clear quartz
Capital: Clariqat (clair-ri-cat)
Society
Throughout the Continent, Sugary is known as Armi's Country. Its capital is dubbed the Kingdom of Clarity. Thousands of people travel to Sugaru and Clariqat to visit the ancient temples and seek guidance from the Holy Order. The Holy Order – consisting mainly of women – is famous for healing the sick, physically and mentally. They are also protectors of the Continent and Sugaru, keeping the land safe with Armi's knowledge and power thanks to High Priest Yoongi. Sugaruns are steadfast and stubborn, firm in their beliefs and morals. Meditation and self-reflection are two common practices in Sugarun houses. Mental health is extremely important to the High Priest, so Sugaru has free services at local temples for struggling minds and hearts.
Economy
Coastal towns profit from the sea with a precious material called arodun. It's located in the shallows around Sugaru. Arodun is used to build and restore temples. It is quite expensive, especially when shipped to other countries. This is why arodun is commonly found in noble houses across the Continent. Sugar is another source of profit, farmed in inner Sugaru. It is commonly cheap because of its large yields every year. Sugaru is popular for its art as well, like pottery and paintings. Grain and livestock are also native to inner Sugaru, and like Jinaia, meat is too costly, hence why Sugarun commonfolk stick with seafood and other similar dishes.
Environment & Climate
Eastern Sugaru is sandy, dry and hot, but the sea breeze provides cooling temperatures. Along the eastern border, including Clariqat, harsh weather is expected, and flooding is a common result. One will often find abandoned watered homes closest to the shore, since Sugaruns prefer safer and drier conditions. Western Sugaru has more favorable weather, like gentle rains, sunshine, and cool climate. Waterfalls and lagoons are commonly found in the west, which make lovely spots for tourism.
Yoongi as High Priest
Background
On the night Yoongi was born, he was blessed by Armi. Witnesses during his birth claimed seeing a silhouette of the goddess next to his mother’s bedside. The goddess held out her hand, and her essence dropped from her fingertips, landing on Yoongi’s forehead. A seven-sided purple star was the result of the divine gift, which was received with massive gratitude. Yoongi obtained Armi’s knowledge, both past and future, including her burden with Crystallia; her wisdom, power, and immortality. High Priest Yoongi has lived for over 2 centuries now, carefully ruling Sugaru and guiding his Holy Order. He is Armi’s direct voice, vessel and messenger, sending her visions across the Continent. The six other rulers strongly heed his words. When Yoongi receives such visions, he seals himself inside his temple. None are able to bring him out of his stupor and isolation.
Personality
Because of Armi’s blessing, High Priest Yoongi is viewed as a god. Due to this stigma, one may think he is cold and indifferent, but this is not true. Yoongi cares deeply for his country and his people, acting immediately if something is wrong. He is sometimes called “The Lion of Clariqat” for his frightening demeanor and intimidation, yet Yoongi is quite needy and cuddly underneath, still a man with emotions and desires. He only reveals his true colors with his closest friends and students, calm and humorous. Although he seems like he’s not good with children, he is, and he takes wonderful care of them. They are the future of his country and the Continent, so it is his duty to direct them in the right path.
Hierarchy of the Holy Order
High Priest/Priestess
Priest/Priestess
Brother/Sister
Strongest branches of militia
Novice
Initiate
While war isn’t a concern, each country has ready forces. Sugaru has none. Armi deeply disapproves of war, so Sugaru is a neutral and peaceful land. The Holy Order will protect the Continent if the message is not kindly received in other nations.
Religion
Being the Country of Armi, many Sugaruns practice armina. Catallia, lukana, jedwa, and ismala are also present, but a majority of citizens are Boras. Atheism is strongly discouraged. Those who believe no god often lie when asked who they worship. Immortals avoid Sugaru for this reason.
Important locations
Will be added
© thekaykery 2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
Hobius
Ruler: Jung Hoseok
Crystal: Citrine
Capital: Citrinus (si-trin-nus)
Society
As the liveliest country in the Continent, Hobius is known for its youth and joy, allowing it to prosper and grow. Dubbed the City of Celebrations, Citrinus is famous for its legendary parties and wine that never seems to run dry. The people of Hobius never knew hate or disgust, since positivity and confidence is a core component in everyday life. Because of this, Hobius is full of color and imagination, full of the brightest hues and craziest things. Hobians are strong, set in their beliefs yet carefree at the same time. It is encouraged to be yourself, which is why many love visiting Hobius. People do not care who you are or where you came from. Identities are lost in the thrill of parties and drunkenness and sex. Most of Hobius' population are immortals for this exact reason.
Economy
Like the rest of the Continent, Hobius profits from the sea, mostly with seashells, lobsters, shrimp, and oysters, but Hobius’ main source of coin is cotton production and dyes. Some dunes in northern Hobius hide fertile soil, which is perfect for cotton growth, and the country’s native flowers thrive in the heat and sun. These flowers produce the most beautiful colors and are ground up into dyes and paint. A majority of clothes in the Continent are made with Hobian cotton, which is incredibly soft and non-irritable to sensitive skin. Grain and livestock are imported from Jinaia and Sugaru, and Hobian commonfolk stick with seafood because of the cost of meat.
Environment & Climate
Rolling dunes cover southern Hobius. The only relief to the relentless scorching heat is the storms from northern Hobius. Because of recent weather patterns, the desert is receiving more rain than it ever has, and Hobians are extremely glad. In northern Hobius, the environment is far more forgiving and promising. Plains of grass flow with gentle winds, and mountains reach high, creating the ideal location for a home. Most Hobians either live in the north, along the coast, or in Citrinus. The desert is avoided for good reason.
Hoseok as Headmaster
Background
Hoseok is the son of a Citran noble family, and he and his older sister Jiwoo grew up learning the ways of their parents, who were masters of revelry. This is where Hoseok realized that it is easier to persuade someone to your side through celebrations, and because of his family history, he inherited the love and passion for hosting all sorts of parties. When he was a teen, he dreamed of becoming something greater, and with his knowledge and lots of patience, Hoseok is now known throughout the Continent as the Headmaster of Revels. His parties are legendary, thrown in extreme luxury, full of exotic crowds and people. It is considered a high honor if you receive a personal invitation from Hoseok, since it signifies he has noticed you. A majority of his invited guests are female. The only males he has ever invited are his friends, the other six rulers of the Continent.
Personality
When asked about the Headmaster, there is a common theme of answers: Hoseok is a ball of sunshine, always beaming brightly and radiating fun and joy. He is indeed the sun, smiling and laughing all the time and cracking jokes with everyone he meets. He truly enjoys being Headmaster because he gets to bring happiness to his people. Seeing them have fun is something Hoseok cherishes without hesitation. With people he is closest to, Hoseok is laidback and kind, still being that light of positivity. In his free time, Hoseok likes to dance and write songs, along with going out to drink and traveling to see his friends. However, when the situation calls for it, Hoseok will be strict and firm. An angry Hoseok is rare. Those who have seen him in such a way say he is incredibly scary.
Hierarchy of the Masters
Headmaster/Headmistress
Master/Mistress
Strongest branches of militia
Sir/Madame
Mister/Misses
While war is not a worry within the Continent, each country has ready forces. This necessity is for external invasions rather than internal.
Hobius’ strongest factions are the armia (army) and the aria (air force). Like Jinaia, Hoseok's country shares a majority of its borders with the sea. He is concerned with enemy navia entering his territory, so aria squads are often sent to scout the shores.
Religion
Most Hobians practice armina. This is more common in households that are not located in Citrinus. Catallia, jedwa, lukana, and ismala are practiced as well, and there are some who believe in no god. This is prominent in immortal homes. In Citrinus, however, religion is forgotten. Citrans party too much to remember such things, too drunk and too entranced by the unending fun.
Important locations
Will be added
© thekaykery 2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
Table of Contents
I. Yoongi
II. Namjoon
III. Taehyung
IV. Hoseok
V. Seokjin
VI. Jeongguk
VII. Jimin
© thekaykery 2023
Joonia
Ruler: Kim Namjoon
Crystal: Peridot
Capital: Perido
Society
Home to the ancient dragons of old, Joonia is constantly advancing in technology, striving to be better than it was before. Difficult choices and decisions are made every day to improve the country and the Continent. The capital Perido is the most technologically advanced kingdom in the Continent. They have mastered electricity, and it is slowly making its way across the land. Automatic lighting and telephones were created in Perido. It is also the dragons' hearth. Joonian are compassionate and assertive, strong-willed and hotheaded. Balance is a powerful core value. If something is not right, it will be corrected to preserve Joonia's health. Authorities are present to maintain peace.
Economy
Joonia profits from mining ores in the scattered mountains. Iron, steel, and copper are the three common ores, often utilized in construction. More precious metals such as silver and gold are sent to Peridon jewelers. Luxurious jewelry is made by dragon craftsmen. Their works are delicate and intricate, and each craftsman has their own personal signature in them. The mountains also contain an ore called dragonite, which is used in rural homes and those who cannot afford electricity. Seafood is common on the coast; cured meats and forest game is common to inner Joonia. Grain and livestock are imported from Jinaia and Hobius.
Environment & Climate
A majority of mountains within Joonia are snow-capped, which causes flooding in the spring. Despite this, Joonia is a snowy, cold country for most of the year. Blizzards can last for days, even weeks. Due to the freezing environment, the dirt and air is dry and brittle, so Joonians compensate with greenhouses full of fresh fruits and veggies. Forests are sparse, offering little protection from the harsh winds. Joonian trees are tall and similar to our world’s evergreen trees. Forest underbrushes are often silent.
Namjoon as High Dragon Lord
Background
He is the sole reason Perido is in the Windstorm Mountains. As a dragon, Namjoon has the habit of isolating himself from his people, reclusive in his cold stony castle. That irrational fear that they’ll hurt him still lingers. He is incredibly ancient, born into the world of Crystallia before it was the Continent. Namjoon remembers the slaughter of all peoples, the Cleansing, fellow dragons call it, and while dragonfolk were not forced to extinction, they were hunted for their teeth, claws, and scales. Despite his dark history, Namjoon is a gentle and stern ruler, treating all his subjects the same. He only wants the best for them, and to prevent his species from going extinct. He is only one of a thousand dragons left.
Personality
Namjoon is a centuries-old dragon, so as time progressed, so did he. The High Dragon Lord is assertive and mighty, strong and wise. However, while he may seem regal and composed, beneath his well-mannered facade is a broken being, mourning the loss of his people. It haunts him to this day, and he has no one to share this burden. Although it rarely bothers him, Namjoon chooses to be positive despite his dwindling species. Namjoon is a little clumsy; he has broken more than a few things in his castle. He does have a dragon form, but he has not shifted in a long while. Namjoon prefers his mortal guise, but his reptilian eyes remain, along with shimmering scales on his cheekbones.
Hierarchy of the Thunder
High Dragon Lord/Lady
Dragon Lord/Lady
Strongest branches of militia
Lord/Lady
Sir/Madame
Although the Continent is at peace, each country has prepared forces ready for battle. These forces are for external invasion rather than internal.
Joonia’s strongest battalions are the aria (airforce) and the navia (navy). A small section of Joonia shares its borders with the sea, which the navia sweeps frequently for possible dangers. The aria performs weekly rounds above Joonia for the same reason.
Religion
Joonian humans practice armina, along with catallia, lukana, jedwa, and ismala. Atheism is also accepted in Joonia. In the past, dragonfolk also worshiped Armi, but with time, they forgot her and let her rest.
Important locations
Windstorm Mountains
Will be added
© thekaykery 2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
Chimni
Ruler: Park Jimin
Crystal: Aquamarine
Capital: Quamari (qua-mar-ree)
Society
Like Sugaru, Chimni also closely follows Armi, keeping the Continent safe with ancient magic the Seers possess. It is a common practice to bless newborns with Armi's luck to let fate guide them as they grow. The people of Chimni are lucky because of this, which sometimes gets them into trouble when visiting other countries. Chimnians are positive and hopeful, a little stubborn too. Peace and harmony are the foundations of every household. The youth are respectful towards their elders. They keep the youth in check, which is why violence is a rare occurrence. Chimni is additionally a popular vacation spot. Its glittering cities and delightful scenery draw people in from other countries and lands, as it is a wonderful place to live out one's golden years.
Economy
Chimni profits from ore in the mountains, such as silver, copper, steel, and iron. The main treasure, however, are the precious gems within the caves. Aquamarine, diamond, and emerald are the 3 native crystals. They are sent out to jewelers and craftsmen across the Continent. There is another crystal as well. It is rare and can be found deep within Chimni's lakes: Omala. It is said to have healing properties. Freshwater fish is another source of income, in addition with grain and livestock.
Environment & Climate
Since Chimni is about halfway through the Continent, it experiences all kinds of weather: Heavy rain, high winds, scorching heat. An occasional winter storm will blow through from Joonia and Kooju. For most of the year, Chimni is gently warm with momentary cold flashes. Mountains and forests are littered across Chimni, lakes and rivers mapping the land. In northern Chimni, the soil is brittle and dry because of the cold. Further south, it is moist and fertile.
Jimin as High Seer
Background
Born to a human mother and High Fae father, Jimin did not have a nice childhood. He was often mocked, called “halfbreed” and “impure.” Because of this, Jimin struggled with his self-esteem and confidence growing up. He began loving himself for who he is in the early part of his first century of life. Losing his mother was incredibly tough. When his father tired of ruling Chimni, Jimin took the helm and became High Seer. The adjustment was difficult. Most of the fae turned their backs on him. The humans, however, loved him, thankful that their new leader understood them. His mother, nicknamed Mother of the Seer, is often included in their prayers. They are grateful to her for blessing the country with a half-human ruler.
Personality
Jimin is a kind and gentle soul. His relationship with his people is important to him. Though his connections with the fae are tenuous, Jimin is close with his human subjects. These are his mother’s people. Jimin is eternally thankful they accepted him. He can be mischievous at times, and his teasing can get him into trouble. He is handsome, and Jimin wields it to his advantage, alluring women and flustering men alike. He is headstrong and brave. Jimin is close with High Priest Yoongi of Sugaru. Yoongi is Armi’s direct voice, and Jimin occasionally receives visions from her. Some are vague; others are clear. Due to Jimin’s gift, this allows Chimni and Sugaru to have a dexterous relationship.
Hierarchy of the Seers
High Seer/Seeress
Seer/Seeress
Novice
Acolyte
Strongest branches of militia
Although the Continent is at peace, each country has prepared forces ready for battle. These forces are for external invasion rather than internal. Chimni's strongest battalion is the aria (airforce). Since a small portion of Chimni is shared with the sea, it is an unlikely place of intrusion. Air patrols are vital to the safety of Chimni and its people.
Religion
Like Sugaru, Chimnians mainly practice armina. This is most common in human households. Other religions – catallia, jedwa, ismala, and lukana – are also present and practiced. The fae previously worshiped Armi, but after her death, they stopped and forgot her.
Important locations
Will be added
thekaykery © 2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
Traetos
Ruler: Kim Taehyung
Crystal: Amethyst
Capital: Thysta (this-tah)
Society
Like Jinaia, Traetos is a welcoming country, charitable and kind. It is a must for all citizens to be treated the same, the poor and rich. The majority of Traeton population is made of High Fae and fae alike. Humans are a rare presence, but they can be found in Thysta, protected by the High Lord. The fae are loyal to their High Lord, and like him, they are inhumanly beautiful. Humans are often entranced by them. Traetons are independent and strong, especially when it comes to morals and beliefs. They are also friendly and open because personality is important. No one is the same. The High Lord and nobles receive wisdom from the elders, and because of this, Traetos is a neutral country. It wants to keep balance with the other countries in the Continent.
Economy
Traetos profits from the ores found in the southwestern mountains. Steel, iron, and copper are great for construction because Traetos is constantly evolving. Since they have the materials, they borrow Joonia's concepts of electricity and adapt it to their needs. In addition to ore, saltwater and freshwater fish are another source of income. Traeton fish are rare species, so they are considered delicacies. Lumber is an additional source, along with grain and livestock.
Environment & Climate
Being one of the two most northern countries of the Continent, Traetos is cold most of the year. Snowfall and frosty weather is a common sight. Landlocked water sources like lakes and rivers are frozen, so Traetos has built something similar to our water towers, which keeps the water warm during the Deep Frost. This is the period of time where it is coldest in Traetos, even affecting the surrounding oceans. Traetos also have greenhouses similar to Joonia's due to the soil being frozen solid.
Taehyung as High Lord
Background
As the son of the previous High Lord and Lady, Taehyung stepped in when they retired from court. He was young in fae years, but as he grew and matured, he found his place within the court and his country. The people began to love and respect him for his strength and tenacity. Taehyung has governed Traetos for a few centuries, which means he has a knack for ruling. Both fae and humans alike are inspired by Taehyung, grateful for keeping them safe. While Traetos is welcoming to outsiders, they must first undergo a background check for safety measures. Taehyung deeply cares for his people's security, and he will do everything he can to keep them safe.
Personality
According to those who met High Lord Taehyung, they claim him to be an intimidating and serious man. Yet that is merely the facade he wears during court and important events. Taehyung is actually calm and kind, and he is goofy around those he is comfortable with. Trust is important to Taehyung. He knows the way of the fae, their sleight of hand and trickery. This is why Taehyung is loyal to his people like they are to him. He is very hands-on with issues in the community. He likes to be openly among them, witnessing how they live. Taehyung is a handsome man, extremely so thanks to his fae heritage. Unlike the fae, however, he does not have many lovers due to trust issues.
Hierarchy of the Court
High Lord/Lady
Lord/Lady
Sire/Dame
Strongest branches of militia
Although the Continent is at peace, each country has prepared forces ready for battle. These forces are for external invasion rather than internal. Traetos’ strongest divisions are the aria (airforce), armia (army), and navia (navy). A majority of Traetos’ borders are shared with the ocean, so it is important to maintain security. Patrols are often, aerial and naval. The High Lord takes security very seriously.
Religion
Though they are few, humans mainly practice armina. Catallia, lukana, jedwa, and ismala are additionally practiced. The fae used to believe in Armi as well, but like the others across the Continent, they moved on and let her rest. This does not cause them to discriminate against their worshiping neighbors.
Important locations
Will be added
thekaykery ©2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
Kooju
Ruler: Jeon Jeongguk
Crystal: Red Beryl
Capital: Beryle (Ber-rul-luh)
Society
Economy
Like Joonia, which is home to the dragons, Kooju is the realm of werewolves. Like wolves themselves, Kooju are independent and powerful. Though they may have a bad rep, they are not heathens. They are strong and fierce, cooperative and peaceful; even harmonious. Every wolf has a purpose: Protect, farm, harvest, and other roles. Koojun wolves are energetic and passionate lovers, and they are famous for their savagery in bed. This is why sex is not a taboo topic in Kooju. It is a concept often spoken about. Because of this, love houses sprang up. The most popular houses are in Beryle. Humans are an uncommon sight in Kooju. If there are any, they keep themselves hidden. They were the cause of the Cleansing, so the relationship between wolves and humans are tenuous at best.
Environment & Climate
Lumber is Kooju's main source of income. The three common woods exported to other countries are oak, pine, and cedar. In addition to wood, the forests of Kooju provide berries and a variety of prey. Livestock is not imported because of the wolves' ravenous appetites, but grain is due to the frozen ground. Saltwater and freshwater are additional sources of welcome, along with iron and steel from mines. The pelts from hunts are made into cloaks for warmth and are exported to Thysta as well.
Jeongguk as High Alpha
Sister land to Traetos, Kooju is the other most northern country in the Continent. Temperatures are just as cold – if not colder – which means frequent snowstorms and high winds. Ground and water are frozen all year round, and thanks to Joonian technology, electricity and greenhouses were built. Water towers were also constructed to keep water warm thanks to High Lord Taehyung's generosity. Like Traetos, Kooju sees the Deep Frost as well, so these water towers will be extremely helpful.
Background
As a young pup, Jeongguk lost his parents to an ambush. He was nowhere near being High Alpha at this point in time, so he was powerless against the attacking camp. Many lives were lost that day. Jeongguk had sworn himself that it would never happen again. He trained long and hard every single day, proving himself in fights, both professional and impromptu. He ascended the ranks in his pack quite quickly, and at the ripe age of 19, he claimed the spot of High Alpha. It was a ruthless skirmish, full of tooth and claw, but Jeongguk won. He has protected his role and his pack ever since. He claimed Beryle as his city, where he and his pack now live and thrive.
Personality
Despite being "young" according to the older wolves, Jeongguk is mature and firm. He does not tolerate insolence or unsolicited violence, which is often caused by younger males. Even without a mate, Jeongguk is protective of the females in his pack. Their pups are the future. One of them may even take his place someday. Being the High Alpha, Jeongguk is the strongest and the fastest. The largest too, in stature and girth. He is kind and seductive at the same time. His handsomeness often causes females to fall to their knees at the sight of him. He is stern when he needs to be, even deadly when it comes to the safety of the pack and his position. Jeongguk is also energetic and silly, still just a boy at heart who had to grow up too fast.
Hierarchy of the Pack
High Alpha
Alpha
Beta
Delta
Omega
Strongest branch of militia
Although the Continent is at peace, each country has prepared forces ready for battle. These forces are for external invasion rather than internal.
Kooju’s strongest branch is the armia (army). Werewolves are lethal and fierce, protective of their pack and land. They are confident of their combat abilities. There are stations spread across Kooju where patrols are held for the security of the country.
Religion
Koojun werewolves do not follow a deity. They believe themselves to be unworthy of such heavenly ideas. Humans, though sparse in Kooju, practice armina, along with catallia, lukana, ismala, and jedwa, much like the other humans in the Continent.
Important locations
Will be added
thekaykery © 2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
...𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨...
━ type: bts x gn! reader ━ masterlist
━ about: fluff, angst, crack (tiny smut) - the holy trinity/quartet? ━ pictures taken from Pinterest
━ a/n: soulmates are my favourite trope cause of low self-esteem, I hope it is yours as well. The trope, not the issues.
NAMJOON: As it stands to reason, Namjoon knew it was an overcapitalized natural phenomenon with an actual success rate of only 52%. Having just a little over half meant that a whole 47% with a margin error of 1% of the entire world nor had, nor wanted any dealings with soulmates. But even so, he couldn't entirely stop the blush of whimsical fancy whenever thinking of them.
He was, for now at least, documented as an "awaiting registry" in the K-SSA (Korean Soulmate System Association) and all that was needed - time. Often, he daydreamed of his perfect partner with their perfect life much like numerous others, not really festering any bloom of hope and yet -!
Yet he couldn't feel like he was profoundly dunked on by the universe itself as 24 seconds ago writing appeared on his forearm when none had touched it. In a thin, illegible font it said one word and one word only.
𝒸𝑜𝒸𝓀.
He looked away, wiped at it absent-mindedly but as it was not ink, it did not stain. Right. Okay.
Deciding to squash all thoughts and sensations related to his soulmate he moved on with his life telling no one of this discovery. But the dam once unleashed did not cease and never, ever did it wield any sign of intelligence. On top of that, his soulmate seemed to be a perpetual cheat - math, language, history. In a terrible shorthand, Namjoon suddenly found himself abhorrently acquainted with someone's educational curriculum. However, the proverbial chariot finally broke when jet-lagged and sleep-deprived Namjoon could only helplessly watch as word by word, with painstaking accuracy, the dreaded sprawl appeared.
"𝒜𝒸𝒸𝑜𝓇𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝓁𝒶𝓌𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒶𝓋𝒾𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶 𝒷𝑒𝑒 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝑒 𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒻𝓁𝓎. 𝐼𝓉𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹. 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒, 𝑜𝒻 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒, 𝒻𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓌𝒶𝓎."
Having had quite enough of this strange dumbass, he grabbed a sharpie and crossed out the stupid words with one bold, black stroke. A profound moment of silence followed suit and inadvertently Namjoon wondered whether they were sitting still, in some corner of the world seized by an unseen fright of the truly terrifying reality that one is not truly alone anymore. But no such thing happened as a cool and collected reply soon followed.
"𝒪𝒽 𝒸𝑜𝑜𝓁! :𝒟"
Possessing no desire to waste any more time, Namjoon leapt straight to the point.
"You're annoying."
"𝒴𝑒𝓈, 𝓈𝑜 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝑜𝓁𝒹 :)"
Floundering at what to say further, he sat frozen for a good while his soulmate seized the opportunity in which to continue.
"𝒴𝑒𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓃𝒻𝑒𝒸𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝒸𝓀𝓇𝑜𝒶𝒸𝒽."
And even faster as if in a hurried panic, they added.
"𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐼'𝓂 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔."
"Learning curse words?"
If he had a single atom of a gracious painter in his body, he'd draw a heavily disapproving grimace.
"𝒲𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓋𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌𝓁𝑒𝒹𝑔𝑒?"
Alright. In what was almost deja vu, Namjoon turned off the light and went to sleep. This was a lot to endure.
The scribbling didn't stop and Namjoon ignored the odd question directed at him, though with a peculiarly heavy heart. Sometimes he had only half the presence of mind and attempted to write something back but always caught his own hand mid-stroke. Life with him would not be easy. And also you were still strangers. Despite the riveting romance stories of the airport stalls, it was not that easy to breach the gap. In fact, it was even more difficult. If two people met in ordinary ways in ordinary circumstances, they could head in any direction they wanted, without the knowledge of "what if". But the only thing Namjoon knew for certain was the "what if". What if he never meets you? What if he screws it up? That would fill him with bitter regret for the rest of his life. But it wasn't until a more sombre message to which he woke up, that he couldn't stay away anymore.
"𝐼'𝓂 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝒹𝓊𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔. 𝒯𝑜𝒹𝒶𝓎. 𝒟𝒾𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝐼 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼'𝓂 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻."
Then after a while.
"𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒."
And despite Namjoon being in the middle of the interview, he dished out the pen from his pocket which he may or may have not been carrying this whole time and hastily traced back.
"I care. I'm proud of you as well."
Pause.
"Soulmate ;)"
YOONGI: His pulse was drumming against the skin of his neck, choking down the next breath. No matter how many times he skimmed through the small space no sudden stranger or even a ghost appeared. Nevertheless it didn't change the fact that he was hearing voices.
Yoongi slapped a hand over his own ear as though that was the problem. The conversation persisted.
"No, I don't know, Maeve," the disembodied voice continued in a sigh. "If they wanted to ask, they would have long ago, right?"
Licking his lips, Yoongi croaked a feeble -
"Hello?"
The mysterious stranger fell deathly mute and with eardrums straining to the point of pain, he could vaguely gather they were afraid as Yoongi himself was shocked into a similar stupor not a moment ago. They must think he was the ghost. And though Yoongi didn't know for certain, he supposes that he just might have found his soulmate.
He had spent his whole life counting himself into the 47%. Having neither proclivity for, nor signs of a formed bond, he simply ran with the statistics. 47% of the world was a great number of people and Yoongi was quite content with what or whom he had. So in a manner which thousands must have asked along with him today, he thought "shit, what now?"
Days later, clutching the twin "pending" forms of the K-SSA and I-SSA, he decided to speak. Maybe his soulmate won't like him anyway.
"Hello?" he utters into the empty space of his apartment feeling a tad foolish but bulldozing his way through it "Are you there?"
With a bated breath, he waits then at last -
"Yes, hello."
Yoongi coughs and with an orchestrated indifference states the obvious.
"We must be soulmates."
"Yeah," comes a similarly dispassionate reply. "Though I did think you were a demon."
He snorts in a muted amusement.
"What's your name?"
"______________. Yours?"
His brain errors. Even if a soulmate, he couldn't just freely divulge his persona willy-nilly, so to speak. Being a soulmate didn't prohibit anyone from inflicting harm. The morning news was plenty of affirmation.
"Oh...um...August."
In the five-second span in which no response followed, he could feel just how much you didn't believe him.
"August?" dryly, you echo.
"Yeah, my parents were hippies."
He goes to sit down on the sofa, sinking into it whilst awkwardly clapping his hands.
"Are you a seal?"
He glances down at his hands.
"You can hear that?"
"Yes. Weird isn't it."
Another pregnant pause followed suit.
"So soulmates," he drawled in deep thought. "You're uh...interested in that?"
If he focused enough he could hear a pen clacking against a thick notebook. You must be studying or in an office space. Or simply sitting and tapping away the pen to alleviate nerves.
"I...I'm not quite sure," you answer truthfully. "I haven't agonized over it and I've been busy and..."
You exhale shakily.
"And to be completely frank...I got into a relationship. Yesterday."
Well, that's just on brand, Yoongi thought sourly.
"I'm sorry, August."
He chuckled. You actually sounded sincere. And something in the apologetic lilt of your tone made his heart soften. At entirely the wrong time.
"Don't worry about it. Not your fault."
"Are...are you in a relationship?"
He licks his dry lips and pushes the forms further away and across the coffee table.
"Yeah," he lies. "So it's all fine."
He once again thinks you're a ghost, blinking blearily at your soft voice shaking the still air of the night. Years have passed and he realized that he sort of has missed the sound of your voice.
"August?" you asked timidly in the middle of the night. "Are you still there?"
He rubs his eyes.
"Yes. Hello."
"Hi."
An awkward tension wavers.
"What are you up to?"
"Can't sleep," he mumbles, rubbing now repeatedly his tired eyes. "Insomnia."
"Oh, sorry to hear that."
"Do you always apologize for everything?" he crosses his arms, resting on the pillow like a normal person would whilst talking next to someone in the bed.
"A little bit," you laugh demurely. "You know, I submitted my form and the I-SSA replied back."
He sobered up at that, the faint migraine from the lack of rest pounding a little harder as his breath caught in his throat.
"Don't worry, they were very strict and revealed to me nothing."
"Sorry about that," he couldn't help but sigh however you didn't seem to mind.
"Do you always apologize for everything?" you laughed and he did too.
"Just about this," now slightly soothed he settled deeper into the covers. "What about your...partner?"
"Oh," immediately your voice became angry. "Dumped them. Cheated on me."
"What a fucking prick," Yoongi scoffed.
"Enough about them. Try to sleep, okay?"
You were nothing but a stranger. A stranger talking into his head which not so long ago would have guaranteed him four walls and complete isolation. Yet still, he listened. Found the request, not an order but a nagging sweet sentiment of taking better care. He didn't mind it, and neither did he mind you talking. In fact, the migraine was peculiarly retreating,
"What are you watching?" he asked curiously. Through the winded gaps in your voice and the rustle of the Seoul traffic outside, he could piece together some fragments of what resembled 90's tv show music. "Sounds like old porn."
Abruptly, you burst into a fit of loud laughter and then just as abruptly fell quiet.
"Sorry...no one has joked with me for a very long time," you quietly admitted and something in his chest began to sting.
"You have a nice laugh," with a faint blush, he praised shyly. "Don't you have friends to joke around with? Maeve?"
If you found it odd, he knew the name of your friend, still remembering it from that faint first bond years ago now, you didn't remark on it and he was better for it. Yoongi really didn't need to feel any more of a creep than he had, always chiding himself for being this obsessive over those few minutes of conversation. It seemed that he was not so indifferent about the soulmate thing after realizing they were real for him.
"Not anymore. Who do you think that garbage cheated on me with?"
Yoongi cringed.
"I'm sorry," he bid earnestly, a wrinkle of a frown etching on his forehead.
"Addition to the list?" you teased and he smiled to himself, persistently shy, despite knowing you could not see it.
"Suppose. Though you never answered."
"What exactly?" you hummed and he heard sheets rustling. You must be sleeping as well. Or perhaps simply sitting on the bed.
"What are you watching?"
"X-Files. Felt in the mood for something spooky."
He thought about it for a second before rushing into action.
"Which episode? What minute?"
You were almost taken aback by the brazen curiosity as it hadn't been previously ever heard.
"Season 1, episode 8. Minute 04:47."
As Yoongi grabbed his laptop, he heard the faint dialogue stop. You stopped it.
"Do you...want to watch with me?"
He frantically searched for the episode, fighting for his life to get the ads off the screen.
"Hey, I know that noise," you remarked. "That's the blacklist notice! Say, August, you wouldn't be streaming illegally, would you?"
"You're going to arrest me?" he smirked, winding to the fourth minute. "Kinky."
He couldn't naturally vouch for it but he thinks you reddened. And he found it cute.
"No. Just concerned that you'll find Anna, 32, much more appealing. She's only 1 kilometre away."
It was his time to laugh.
"Don't worry about her. Not my type. I'm hot for ghostly voices whispering in my ear."
You splutter and, laughing quietly to himself, he interrupts your indignance.
"I'm at the fourth minute. Are you continuing to watch or not?"
"Yeah," you replied huffily. "I'm continuing."
It didn't take long for him to fall asleep that night. Or the next. Or the next. And after a year, his doctor declared his insomnia successfully treated.
"You're not watching at all," you whined into his ear and Yoongi pulled the blanket over his body.
"No, I am," he lied. "I'm watching it through your mind, silly."
You scoffed.
"What a bunch of nonsense. We share glamorized auditory hallucinations, not a mind link."
After a pause, all you hear are the familiar sounds of him already quietly snoring away.
"Good night...August."
JIN: He exhaled once, twice, thrice. It took him about three seconds to fully grasp what he was seeing and then with all the might of his tired legs Jin threw himself into the shower curtain and promptly knocked himself out against the tiled bathroom wall.
"Sir, please, calm down!" the nurse urged him frantically as Jin twitched on the bed.
"No, you don't understand! It was a ghost. A ghost! A ghost is haunting my bathroom!"
"Sir, please, there's no ghost!"
He glimpsed to the left and in the metal railing of the bed, he saw a reflection not of himself but of an entirely different face looking right back at him with the same concern.
Jin politely and very masculine screeched at the top of his lungs and graciously passed out amidst the mass of frightened hospital staff.
So...in the end, as it turns out, he was not haunted. The affirmation came in the form of two stocky SSA workers, coming to stop by his room with a thick wad of papers.
Sign here. Sign here. Sign here.
It appears that three years ago someone had registered in the I-SSA and while there were many different systems out there, all with their variations and complications, it was just Jin's luck, his beam of sunshine amidst the raging storm, to be in a system with the smallest amount of sharers. The abnormal diff-diffusion? He doesn't quite recall as he'd sat there head pounding away and sounds distant, staring at his own name and next to it the person, who according to the science of it all, was his soulmate.
But knowing was different from believing. Or at least, not shitting himself every time they stared at him in his own reflection.
"You got to cool it, man," Namjoon drawled in that pure sarcastic deadpan, patting away the soup that Jin had spilt as he lunged himself away from the spoon reflection in which a different eye was reflected through.
"At least, you can see them," Taehyung muttered bitterly, wiping the table clean and all fell silent.
Jin kept the mirrors covered anyhow. It was simply too freaky to witness an entirely different face in the stead of his, soulmate or not. Life proceeded as normal and while Jin kept himself busy and unthinking of possibilities, the lack or rather denial of his soulmate meant little to him. Until the very eve of winter. The first fresh snow had fallen over Seoul and stayed that way. The air was chill and crisp and the world was ready to slumber. At least this part of it. And on this night, no matter how long Jin stared at the fallen snow, he couldn't sleep. His heart was beating out of his chest and his mind raced.
He...felt it. Or rather you felt it and he sensed the echoes of it. Growing agitated over this sensation, he stomped towards the mirror, ready to...well, he was not quite sure what he was going to do but after yanking the towel onto the floor he forgot all about it. For the first time, you were not googling back at him, either in wonder or aggrievance but you were crying, gripping the sink with crushing strength. Crying like your entire soul was just split apart.
"What's wrong?" Jin aske timidly but you did not react. Visual must not also mean auditory. With shaking fingers he tapped the glass and this time you jumped in a way that was eerily familiar to his own. Landing on your ass, you cursed. Or he thinks you did from the way your lips curled.
He thought about it for a second and rushed away to fetch a lip balm before writing on the surface of the mirror.
"Hi."
You leaned your head to the side before, shivering, rising to stand. He watched intently as you dipped your hand underneath the water current and wrote back.
"Hi."
Jin exhaled, battling the urge to not pass out.
"Why cry?"
You gestured all around yourself and he recognized the sterile, removed environment of the hospital bathroom.
"Sick?" he wrote, feeling a heavy thud in his gut, something akin to missing a step in the dark.
"Yes. Tomorrow is the surgery."
He swallowed.
"Dangerous?"
You swallowed shakily and immediately Jin felt bad for asking.
"Moderate. I can live, I can die. All up to the doctors."
He too reaches to grip the sink and though he can't hear it, he can see you chuckling tearily. He frowns and you write.
"We even look the same. In a way."
Jin can offer only a shaky smile and even more guilt for shoving you away.
He was a horrible soulmate to have.
All day and next night he waits by the mirror and then finally when it's dark again, the snow falls in droves underneath the streetlamps and wind rushes through the alleys down below and finally, just before midnight, you appear in the mirror, shuffling in. You looked tired and worn but at least you're alive. Jin springs up.
You're the first one to write, having brought with you a lip balm as well.
"I lived. Clearly."
"Thank Heavens," Jin writes back feeling a rush of emotions dampen his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Gracious, you throw a hand at his words.
"I didn't want a soulmate before this. Thought I was...above it. Stupid really."
He smiles abashed and nods.
"You okay? Will be?"
"Yes, I will be okay," for a second, you lower your hands, gathering strength and then reach out. "You...do you want to talk more after this?"
"Hey, Jin, we're waiting for you!" Namjoon calls out, sticking a head through the door and he turns around.
"I'll be with you in five minutes."
Namjoon glimpsed at the defaced mirror.
"Hangman, really?"
Jin shrugged.
"We both like it. Scram now."
As he turned round he wrote "y".
j__n_y, stood on the surface and Jin sat deep in thought, then he guessed.
"Journey."
You sighed in defeat and confirmed his answer. Jin read the word again, committing it to memory.
"Text me when your plane lifts off," he wrote and you mimicked his soft smile.
"I will. See you in 16 hours."
Jin kissed his palm and pressed it against the mirror where your forehead stood.
"16 hours," he muttered back.
HOSEOK: "What do you think?" Jimin asked. "This one or this one?"
Hoseok merely arched an eyebrow.
"How would I be able to tell?"
Jimin lowered the hangers, with a guilty frown.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think."
Instantaneously, the despondent eyes made him feel guilty.
"Nevermind. I like the...uh left one."
Jimin twiddled guilty with the coloured fabric. A colour which Hoseok couldn't see.
"You want me to help you pick the outfit?"
Not to make him feel any sadder, Hoseok obliged.
Contrary to popular belief, being in the monochrome system sucked ass. He had nearly two million matches in the K-SSA registry, 32 million in the I-SSA and counting the 1% of margin error that amounted roughly to a 340 000 that could be his soulmate but wouldn't act that way due to genetic mutation. The more he thought of those numbers, the more alone he felt. Yoongi at least could hear his soulmate, Jin had seen them and was by now already moved in with them. Being in the more rare section of the soulmate systems they could at least have their soulmates traced via reading brain waves and other gibberish Hoseok never much understood. But no data could come from the monochrome system as the numbers were simply too overwhelming. False positives and false negatives were too great for a sensible person to take that chance. Which left only one option - the good old-fashioned meet and greet.
But with a planet of 8 billion people that chance was small. Growing ever so smaller with each passing day despite the technological advances. Even so, the airport was of late the favourite place of Hoseok's to be at. No place such as an airport to find someones all over the globe, grumpily and quite often with a foul odour, converging their different ways together. He tried to stay optimistic. As Taehyung bumped into him, sleep-ridden and tired, he indeed felt that there was a need to be optimistic. As much as he bitched, it didn't amount to the pain his friend was in at all times.
"Hey, just a little bit," he brushed Tae's fringe back to reveal two swollen eyes. He must have been crying either just now, or the entire night. Either way, it was an upsetting idea to have. Subtly, Hoseok pushed Taehyung into Jimin's direction who eagerly took care of his friend. But they all trodded along no matter how they felt.
"How was that episode good?" Yoongi asked and Hoseok frowned.
"What episode?" he questioned and Yoongi waved a hand, almost like one would when talking over a phone and someone interrupted.
"Oh, you're talking to...never mind," Hoseok grumbled, pushing his head further down.
The sky above the Atlantic Ocean was grey and uninspiring whilst the flight itself was excruciating. Though everything to him was grey. 14 hours in a box in the sky was not what Hoseok particularly enjoyed. Bored, he prodded at the desert. It was of a lighter hue, meaning a brighter colour. Yellow perhaps. Mango.
He took a spoon to his mouth. Strawberry. After all this time, one would think he'd be better at differentiating things. At least, he could remember colours, he thought wistfully, once again thinking of the positives. Some people were born with their bonds permanently established meaning they never knew colour. But Hoseok could at least remember - the colour of the sky, the sun, the green grass around his school. But it was in a way worse. If he could never have it again, it would ruin him. Strange. Such a simple thing really but he missed it dearly. What a weird way to bond people, by depriving them of the basics of life. Was it even love in the end? Or desperation driving them into some form of sick co-dependence?
Trying to be positive, didn't necessarily mean he was one as Hoseok had found out.
New York was a whirlpool. They had to rush fast to their cars through the halls of the airport, barely breathing and at this very moment, in one singular turn, Hoseok saw the beige of Taehyung's jumper.
The red of Jimin's scarf and the brown of Jungkook's eyes as he stared at him in wonder.
They couldn't stop. The insistent push of the bodyguards affirmed it so but if Hoseok suddenly saw the one thing that only his soulmate could grant then that meant his soulmate was not just near. Their eyes had met.
And he held no recognition.
He whipped to look around, the twin sensations of the flashing camera lights and the sheer amount of colours, of their shades and hues, had his head swimming but he saw no one. No one was looking with the echo of the realization, no one seemed to be interested in him any more than the rest. Interested in him as j-hope, the star, not Hoseok, the soulmate.
"We need to keep going," his bodyguard whispered, trying to professionally haul him away.
"No, I...I just met my soulmate. I need to stay!"
But the man did not listen. The crowd swarmed closer and closer and without much more say in the situation, he found himself sitting numbly in the backseat of the car. The neon signs blinded his eyes and for the first time in his adult and teenage life, Hoseok saw the rainbow cascading off the singular snowflake clinging to the window of the black car.
JIMIN: He pushed back your hair from your sweaty forehead.
"Feels so good," he moaned onto your lips. "You feel so good."
When the familiar knot unwound it felt like a truck, or a high-speed train running him down and into a cliff. But somehow pleasantly. Jimin swears he could see the true meaning of the universe, the very makeup of what created the entire life in moments like these. But even so his favourite, to his heart, was the second after, for the crudeness of it all, bust a nut within you, when he laid, holding your body close and panting together in the warm room. He felt brave tonight for once and nuzzled into the crook of your neck. It was all sweaty and damp but he did not mind. It was the only kind of closeness he could have with you.
Five blissful minutes passed and you roused, pushing him away. Gently but still you did. After rushing to the bathroom, you came back to get dressed. Jimin reached to trace a finger on your back as you dragged a shirt over your head.
"Can't you stay?" he hums. There was a scar right above the curve of your hip and he ghosted over it. You didn't like him focusing on your scars.
"I like my own place," you reply casually. "Paid a lot for it."
That was, of course, only an excuse. Jimin may or may have not met another ex-hookup of yours and you had stayed with them. They made you breakfast.
And Jimin wanted to make you breakfast more than anything else.
"Right," he sinks into himself, wanting to stop but not being capable to do so. "Can you...kiss me...before you go?"
Pathetic. To beg like this. But he wanted you to madness.
Perhaps, you looked slightly unsettled but indulged him nonetheless. The way you kissed was like feeling a new breath in his lungs. He didn't understand what about you was so intoxicating but he wanted you around all the time. Your presence was like a wet cloth on the fevered head, a gulp of fresh air after spending hours in a stuffed room.
It was no exaggeration that he was growing obsessed.
And you thought of him as a hookup.
"See you later," you said, stroking his cheek once and the next was the door falling shut. Jimin sighed, rapidly crashing from the height of happiness to the pit of misery. But if anything could distract him it was the horrible pain suddenly flaring through his shin.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," he cursed, cradling the limb.
He honestly thought his soulmate should be nothing but a mangled piece of flesh by now. Ever since 14 years old, he felt nothing but pain from them. And despite it being the main takeaway from sharing the sensations type of bond, he should also be in technicality receiving happy emotions but no. There was none. Just anxiety and regular pain.
Though, in fairness, Jimin assumed he gave off much of the same. Remembering the long practices, and the muscle cramps, he could only recoil. When the ache finally ceased he lays on top of the sheets again brushing the empty space next to him. Soulmate perhaps, but all he wanted was you. If you'd be next to him, he'd look for no one else ever again. Which was stupid, who falls into love with their fuck..fuck-something.
"Literally every protagonist in a romance story," Jungkook muttered before making a loud gagging noise. Jimin almost had half the intention of lodging a spoon in his throat before he hurriedly explained.
"It's not to you! It's just that dumbass is eating sugar. Pure sugar!" he heaved, face getting read. "Oh, I hope their teeth have so many holes they need to eat nothing but carrots!"
"You want to taste nothing but carrots for the rest of your life?" Jimin snarked and Jungkook paused.
"Guess not."
Suddenly Jimin's elbow flared up.
"Oh, come on!" he exclaimed, wincing and rubbing the spot. "How many times a day can this person be hurt?!"
"Hey, guys, why are there so many people outside?" Taehyung asked in confusion, hooking his headphones off. Sirens soon blared and as they looked on, through the crowd, they could see someone laying in the middle of the street. Unmoving.
"Oh shit, is that blood?" Jungkook gasped.
The police coordinated off the area pushing the mass away and to Jimin's surprise, you stepped out of one of the cars with a camera attached to your neck. To even more of a shock, you began to take pictures and Jimin questioned how was it that he didn't know you were a CSI or whatever they were called when suddenly you tripped and fell down, slamming your chin against the unforgiving ground.
"Oh, that must hurt," Taehyung and Jungkook drawled together but Jimin stayed quiet. His chin was killing him.
And what were the chances of that?
"Sensation-coded systems tend to be of more emotional intensity as they echo the same level of chemical fluctuation between persons on top of their own."
As Jimin had learned it at school, he still had it scrabbled somewhere in the high school notebook, touch equated to chemical changes in the body. Dopamine and serotonin increase and in a sensation-coded system, person A could not only feel their own increase but also person B's and vice versa. This is why perhaps he felt like he was breathing new breath when he kissed you. Because he just might.
He can't stop shaking as he texts you to come over, despite doing it hundred times before. But this was different wasn't it? If he was right, he could lose you, if he was wrong, he could also lose you. Either way, he lost. But he had to know. Otherwise, he would be bitter his entire life.
You hug him the second you step over the threshold but for the first time, Jimin steps away. Immediately you frown.
"Something wrong?" you ask and he swallows hard.
"I...I made dinner," actually he ordered it, not wanting it to be bad. "You want to eat?"
He knows you know it was phrased as a question out of politeness. During dinner which is not at all strained into near incapacitating silence, Jimin may or may not drink. A lot. To cope.
"Please, just tell me what it is," you finally break. "Or I'll combust spontaneously."
"I didn't know you were a CSI," he trailed off and you froze.
"Yeah, well, it's not a pretty job and also CSI," you gestured at yourself then at him. "An idol? Doesn't make much sense."
"Maybe it does," he says, shaking again and at last gathering all the courage left in his bones to pinch his arm, so hard it hurt. You flinch as well.
Another blanket of silence descends over the room.
"I think we need to talk."
TAEHYUNG: All he remembers clearly is the pause of uncertainty, the step taken between the childish innocence and the brutal adult reality. The reality of death which in this case was a red string cut short and fraying at the end of his pinky when it should have been stretching across the seas and dreams, across despair and misery. And it's on this hot summer afternoon, sunny and perfect, that Taehyung learns that love does not conquer all.
The office of the IBSSCI, the International Bureau of Soulmate System Crime Investigation respectively, is by far more shabby than he ever pictured. When Taehyung is brought into this two-story building it doesn't look like anything more than some chic obsessed, eco brutalism wannabe cafe he could honestly trip upon in certain streets of Seoul. The office in whose uncomfortable chairs he's been sat in is the size of the closet and looks like one as well. This person was grody. The half-eaten sandwich and cold cup of coffee were all the proof he needed.
____________ ______________, he reads on the glass plaque, you're a pig.
Someone walks in. A mountain of folders on two legs as far as he can see.
"Sorry about the wait, Mr Kim," they huffed. "The printer jammed and you see these papers," with a heavy thud, they dropped it on the desk, falling into the chair with an exhausted sigh. "Is no joke."
He nodded mutely along feeling like it was appropriate to do so.
"Do you want any coffee or tea?" you offered, pushing the mountain away and casting him a weirdly patronizing smile. Immediately, Taehyung bristled.
"Not if it's made like that," he pointed at the dirty cup.
"Depends on what you answer," the smile on your face didn't even flinch. "You do realize why you're here."
"Being scammed is not a crime," he scoffed.
"It is not," you agreed. "But if you gave nearly half a million to one shady group whose to say you won't do it again?"
He wrenched his eyes shut. He didn't mean to. But one by one the guys kept finding their soulmates, hell, even Hoseok, the actual fucking monochrome-based bond found his love. While Taehyung was happy for his friend he was also happy to have someone to be as miserable as him as selfish as it was.
And what would be the worst, he had thought, he would just lose his money and he had plenty of it. For the chance of finding a soulmate, he would give every single thing he owned. The clothes on his body, the sheets on his bed, all of it.
But the worst of it was actually murder. The scam group promised to find Taehyung a new person claiming the statistical basis of there being another in the case of death had in the end murdered one of the doctors who threatened to take this to the police and suddenly Taehyung found himself right in the heart of a criminal case. And while the scammers ran a high-level operation it didn't change the fact that Taehyung was now fundamentally a person involved in something as heinous as murder and it was his money that had guaranteed some of them to escape to international seas.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I never meant for any of this to happen."
"I understand," they spoke and for once they didn't sound mocking. "But Mr Kim, you have money and that is power. You must not give that power out of desperation."
As he opened his eyes, he saw them pushing a paper across the desk, their gloved hand tapping twice at it.
"This is, as you must know, a recovery form in the case of losing a soulmate. The program consists of 18 weeks of mandatory therapy, regular check-ins for a year as well as signing an oath of not partaking in any schemes or offers of finding or rebonding with a new soulmate that if breached can and will be held in court of law. Do you understand?"
He gazed blankly into their eyes, limbs growing stiff.
"Taehyung!" Jimin called out.
"No, you don't get to speak! You don't get to pretend you understand! You have your soulmate! You have a chance! I was robbed of one! You will never understand what that's like!"
As he blinked the memory faded away but still, he felt no one will ever understand what that was like.
"Do you have a soulmate?" he croaked, fiddling with the pen meant to sign the form.
The person blinked and their lips thinned.
"I suppose I did," they said with ease but also with a thin veil of clearly deep inner sadness. "They died when I was an infant."
Taehyung sat straighter.
"So you know what that feels like? To be robbed, cruelly robbed not choosing, not doing wrong but not having anything from the start?"
He grimaced in order not to cry.
"I do but inflicting hurt on others...trying these insane methods and schemes," you trailed off. "It will do no good. No good for you, for anyone. It is evil for the sake of evil and that's it."
You offered him a tissue and he took it gratefully. Perhaps you were not so bad. Despite being grody.
Taehyung signed the form and with weary, tired legs, trailed after you to the main exit.
"As the person assigned to this case, I will be overseeing your check-in period," you explained navigating the cement stairs seemingly spiralling in all logical and illogical directions.
"You're a social worker as well?" Taehyung ironized roughly and you offered him a crooked smile.
"Budget cuts."
As you scanned your ID the doors flashed red.
"Oh, come on," you wiped the chip on the card against your pants but no such luck. Again and again, it flashed red. Finally, with a loud growl of annoyance you yanked the black glove off your left hand to wipe the chip by hand and on it, Taehyung saw a string.
A red string.
Around your pinky.
Cut and frayed in the middle.
Exactly like his.
It unfurled on the ground and dazed Taehyung reached to grasp it. He held the thin yarn like a dying butterfly and pulled at last gently its end. Your hand moved along with it.
JUNGKOOK: He really wants to be happy. And he is. Somewhere underneath the surging wave of anger, he is really happy. And he'll show it to you one day. After he's done scolding you.
Because in the exact moment where he walks through the street, late in the evening, cold rain pouring on his umbrella, he glances through the window of a restaurant and sees a person shoving an entire sugar cube on their tongue.
He feels sugar explode in his mouth.
Pure, unrefined, choking sugar.
And the next thing he knows he's pointing a finger in your unsuspecting face.
"You piece of shit! You actual dumbass!" he yells and people around him are startled. Though none more than you. You, whose sitting in your stupid seat and whose stupid sugar-addicted mouth still chews on that sugar cube like a horse.
"Does dental hygiene means nothing to you? Diabetes?! Health overall?!" he keeps pointing at you at every single word to portray the full scope of what tasting constant sugar every day for consecutive 18 years does to a person.
"How many holes do you have in your teeth right now?! Tell me!"
You blink up at him owlishly and also part terrified. Even the music of the restaurant seems somewhat muted as the crowd looks on at this, the most bizarre of lover's quarrel.
And he shouldn't, he really shouldn't, but he finds it cute.
"Three," you mutter demurely and a pout forms on your lips. Jungkook wonders if they're sweet as well. Should be considering the amount of sugar you consume.
"Just went to a dentist..."
"And you're still swallowing sugar cubes?! WHOLE ASS SUGAR CUBES?!"
"YOU EAT RAMEN AT 3 AM!" you yell back, a sudden fire gaining in your eyes. "OR DRINK SOME SHIT LIKE ICE CUBED VINE!! AND YOU'RE BLAMING ME FOR SUGAR WHEN YOU'RE OUT HERE COMMITTING GASTRONOMICAL WAR CRIMES?!"
And now this one Jungkook shouldn't, he really should not, but he finds you yelling at him hot.
And he wants to know what you taste like.
"YOU EVER WONDERED THAT THE REASON WHY I EAT SO MUCH SUGAR IS TO MASK THE HORRENDOUS ABOMINATIONS YOU PUSH DOWN YOUR THROAT?! AND DON'T EVEN THINK I HAVEN'T TASTED SOMEONE ELSE'S CU-"
In the end, they're kicked out. You stand in the rain, pouting and glaring at him in earnest and whilst doing the same he extends the umbrella over your head.
"I don't like you," you scoff and he does the same.
"Neither do I."
"You're a pig of an eater."
"You're a sugar addict."
A pause.
"I'm leaving," you huff, making no indication to leave.
"Then go," Jungkook snaps, actually taking a step closer.
He thinks he tastes anxiety on his tongue. Whether it's his own or yours he can't tell.
"You're overbearing," you mutter while slightly moving forth.
"You're insufferable," Jungkook is not far behind, neither in space nor insults. He wraps a hand around your waist and finds it perfect. The way you press against him is perfect.
"You make me nauseous," you whisper, gaze dropping to his pierced lip.
"I'm absolutely sick of you," he breathes the air you exhale and then closes the small space and learns what you taste like.
When the umbrella falls out of his hands and falls upon the rain-soaked pavement, he tastes rainwater in his mouth. And as expected that too tastes sweet.
© soraviii, 2022
tagging: @introlxv; @pinkcherrybombs; @devilsbooksworld; @btsiguess-kpop; @mwitsmejk; @belladaises; @mwitsmejk; @halesandy; @seok-jinnies; @themochiverse; @cuteipat; @ratherbefangirling; @manchuria; @chimchimmarie; @smalliechelle; @koostarcandy; @personaarmy; @flitzerj;
This is part of the series Hooked. You don’t have to read the whole series but it might make more sense if you read the previous part Mixed Signals.
Pairing: nerd!jimin x fem!reader
Genre: pwp, eventual fwb 2 lovers, some angst, college!au
Warnings: brief masterbation (f), mentions of divorced parents and commitment issues, Joon is real jerk, reader falls and scrapes her knee it’s nothing serious, explicit sexual content, corruption kink, dom!reader, sub!jimin trying to be a little more dominate, strip tease, fingering, cum eating, unprotected sex (wrap it up, people), just a reminder that Jimin is a sweetheart but he thicc and gifted, creampie, hair pulling, grinding, breast play, Jimin wants to talk dirty but he’s just cute, a decent amount of ass grabbing tbh, Jimin’s sweater vest (yes it deserves its own warning)
Wc: 9.3K
a/n: massive shout out and thank you to everybody who has been supporting the series so far and being so excited about this pairing!! They are such a joy to write and I’m really really happy with how the story is progressing. I’ve got quite a bit planned for this series so I hope you’ll stick around until the end 🙏!!! As always, if you are 18+ and would like to be tagged please leave a comment, ask, or dm ❤️
Feel free to send an ask addressed to one of the Hooked! characters if you’d like to talk to them ^^
[y/n] hey baby wanna come over 😘
[y/n] got a new toy for us to play with
[y/n] guess what it is? 👀
[y/n] ill give you a hint. its a cock ring
[y/n] are you excited? i am 🤭
[y/n] baby??
Something is wrong. Something is very wrong. Jimin hasn’t responded to your sexts in almost four days. He never takes this long to answer because he said it’s impolite to leave people on read.
Yet here you are. Left on read. Rude.
Keep reading
promise - p.jm.
genre: angst, fluff (4k)
summary: you made a promise but you could already feel you both breaking it.
masterlist
you heard the doorbell ring and your heart leaped in your chest as your nerves buzzed in excitement, jumping out of bed and immediately sprinting to open it before your brother got to it. as you expected, he was happily skipping to answer the door, you got there just in time to push him out of the way, and as he was wincing and rubbing his arm while yelling complaints at you, something along the lines of ‘i will so tell mom when she gets home’, you couldn’t care less about what he was whining about at the moment.
you swung open the door to reveal your boyfriend for a few months now, standing there, looking sinfully good in a full denim outfit, bag on his shoulder, and holding your favorite flowers (baby’s breathe and lilacs) with a huge smile on his face.
god, you missed him.
"hey there, doll" jimin mused, a sparkle in his eyes, and you could feel your body tingling already, the familiar feeling returning after a very long time, as he moved to hand you the flowers with a dramatic bow at which you giggled and blushed, taking the flowers and holding them against your chest with a loving gaze.
you felt like a schoolgirl with a huge fucking crush.
except your crush is your boyfriend.
"thank you" you sheepishly uttered at which his smile only grew, loving seeing you all flustered because of him. he shook his head a little, his hair falling gracefully into his eyes, stepping into your house and closing the door behind him.
"i think i deserve more than that for those flowers, don't you think so too?" he asked rhetorically, turning his face and pointing to his cheek.
at this point, you were a blushing mess, eyes cast downwards and shuffling on your feet, you were still not used to how direct jimin was with affection but you would be lying if you said you didn’t like it, it was intimidating at the beginning but slowly you got used to his boldness.
slowly standing on your tiptoes, you gave him a soft kiss to the cheek to which he beamed at you, clearly loving it before cupping your cheek and turning your face to return a kiss to your lips.
ah you missed his spontaneity too, you missed everything about how you two used to be at the beginning.
he pulled away and winked at you, making you hide your face in his chest, blushing intensely until you guys were interrupted with a low groan beside you, signaling the presence of your brother who never left the room.
"can you please do this in your room? i really don't feel like puking right now" your brother whined, irritation laced in his voice, and you scowled at him, silently scolding him with your eyes. jimin was more than amused, giving you another kiss just to irritate your brother a little more and then tilting to look at your brother.
"sorry buddy, your sister just makes it very hard to resist her " he smirked a little to which your brother rolled his eyes, getting increasingly tired of jimin’s smug smile and twinkling eyes.
"don’t tell me shit like that" he muttered bitterly, not wanting to know anymore of how ‘irresistible’ his sister is, before pushing past you to go to the living room making you scoff as your eyes followed him disappearing into the living room.
"brat" you scolded under your breath before grabbing jimin's hand and dragging him up the stairs to your room, leaving him no choice but to follow you. he did mention he would only be able to stay for a while so you didn’t waste any time.
you pushed the door to your open and he looked around fascinatedly, seeing all the different posters covering your walls, ranging from posters of The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, almost an entire side of your room had boxes with vinyl’s, tapes, and a huge cassette player resting on a table. you clearly loved music and spent almost all day listening to your wide collection. jimin smiled, feeling endeared over the reminder of your interest in music, it’s been a while since he’s been in your room.
it was all you both did at the beginning of your relationship, sit in his car or in his room or your room, and pop in different tapes of your playlists, sharing what you liked about each song before eventually forgetting about the music and tangling yourself with him. those days were the ones you fought so hard for when you later ran into issues.
you plopped down on your bed, quickly making up for lost time even though it’s only really been three days since you’ve last seen him but both of you promised to make a more conscious effort so your relationship didn’t hit a dead-end like it almost did a few weeks ago.
you talked about the most random things, you excitedly informed him about your new job at the diner, where you would wear roller skates to serve, you'd always loved the diner and were so glad you got the job. it was the same diner where jimin asked you out with all your friends peeking to look at you two being all shy while confessing you wanted to be more than friends.
the place was really special to you because after that day, you even had your first date there, your first kiss there, so many memories were bound to that place.
how long has it been since you both talked like this?
like there wasn’t a clock which was ticking forward to warn you that your time was almost over?
it’s been stupidly long since the last time you both were brimming with joy and happiness, having just passed that rough patch in your relationship.
"don't you think this is great?" you sighed happily, eyes shining in pure joy and he hummed, a small smile dancing on his lips before he kissed the top of your head, he was happy for you, you ranted to him many times that getting this job would mean a lot to you, not just because of the memories, but the pay was also really good, the uniform was cute, you were sure half your friend group would be hanging out there and you couldn’t think of a better way to spend your summer.
"i can get free milkshakes now, so yes it's great" he teased, you lightly hit his chest in response which made him laugh, grabbing you in his arms, making your scowl disappear into a small smile.
"you're really excited about this, huh?" he asked, a certain lightness in his tone, making you nod in response, playing with his jacket, tugging it up on him so it was resting on him properly.
he liked to see you so excited, so full of life, he missed seeing you literally jumping in your place as your smile shined over the room. he couldn’t believe he almost let you go a few weeks ago, that he almost lost his chance to ever see your smile again.
"well, i'll visit you every day" he declared, not wanting to miss any of his time with you, playing with your hair again. you turned around in his arms with a huge smile, a little surprised at his words. you both just fixed things so you thought he might want to keep a comfortable distance but jimin was more than ready to spend all of his time with you, because to him, nothing else really mattered.
at least nothing much.
“really?”
“of course, i would, but i do want something in return” he suggested with a glint in his eyes that was too bright to be completely pure. you missed him looking at you like that, like you both were one breathe away from getting lost in each other.
"like what?" you tilted your head to look at him right in the eyes, your breath hitching a little when he pulled your face closer only to move his face in such a way that his warm breath hit over your ear repeatedly, making your body coil in a faint shiver.
"a make-out session during your breaks wouldn't hurt" he whispered, making you gasp not only because of the close proximity but fooling around at work had you flushing unbelievably, so you pushed yourself off him and glared at him, though a faint smile did dance on your lips.
"i think i'll stick to the milkshakes" you uttered, making him laugh and then you both started bickering, him suggesting more and more things you could be doing, and each time you brushing him off and threatening that even the free milkshakes were off the table if he kept this up, in the middle of your conversation, jimin’s eyes absentmindedly fell on his backpack, only then remembering why he came all the way to your house.
“god, i almost forgot” he let his head fall back in a small chuckle at his own forgetfulness, reaching for the backpack as your confused eyes followed him, he got off the bed and you crawled to the end of it, propping your face in your hands on your elbows and watching him take a huge vinyl out of his backpack. he spinned it smoothly in his hands, then placing it in front of you and you brushed your fingers slightly on the cover and glanced up at him in confusion to see him uncharacteristically shy and nervous all of a sudden, his cheeks hidden behind a peach-pink hue which made you coo.
“did you bring new music for me?” your eyes softened at the memory of you two always giving each other new music to listen to, and he nodded very slowly.
“it’s something new, that’s for sure” he hummed and sat back down on the bed, looking at you with an unexplainable face.
“okay, let me put in the player then, we can listen to it to- “and before you could get up and reach over to place the vinyl in the player, jimin jumped from where he sat and snatched the vinyl from your hand.
you looked at him with slightly glassy eyes, not knowing why he was reacting the way he was.
did he not want to listen to music together anymore?
you let yourself sadly mull over the fact that some things truly did change between the two of you.
and jimin was beating himself up after he saw how your eyes immediately turned down and your smile fell into a flat line. there were a couple minutes of silence, a dangerous thread that you both were unwilling to walk on, and then you remembered your arguments. he mentioned how he wanted you to sacrifice more for his sake and you agreed to it then so you were going to follow through with your promise.
“it’s okay, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, i’ll just listen to it…by myself” you let out the last part in a faint whisper, taking the vinyl from his loosely held fingers and placing it on your table and pushing past him to sit near the headboard of the bed, your arms held across your chest as you avoided looking at him.
jimin fucked up.
he knew he fucked up; you could tell because he didn’t look at you either.
the playfulness and the wonder that danced around the room dulled into a flickering light.
his silence and your silence, the way you two refused to look at each other reminded you of exactly where you two were stuck weeks ago, and if it hurt then, it felt like repetitive punches to your stomach now, because this is after you promised to work it out, after you both talked of what made you insecure, and you being helplessly sensitive to some things and right now, you felt frustrated and disappointed because this wasn’t exactly a big deal but that didn’t mean you didn’t feel hurt.
you remember all those days he talked about how he would show you around the small studio he set up with his friends, in hopes of making music, a passion he shared with all of them, you would spend days just going on about how if you visited him at work, he would be distracted and you would playfully punch his arm a little, and then continue to coo over each other.
where did it all go?
you could see jimin running a hand on his face in exasperation and how exhausted he looked too, you couldn’t help but want to reach out and hold his hand and tell him it was going to be okay even if you were the one who needed the reassurance. but you didn’t, because even just a few feet away, he felt miles apart. and you didn’t bother reaching, giving him the chance to explain himself.
but no words came from him, the silence turned to tension in the air and you could feel your bit of hope dying along with the noise in the background.
as for jimin, his heart settled uneasily because he couldn’t bring himself to say any words without making it sound condescending or just wrong, he felt like any words from him at that moment would come out wrong and upset you even more, he was walking a dangerous line, while he didn’t want to hurt you by talking, he was also worsening the damage he caused by staying silent.
you heard a loud sigh from him, and you almost scoffed, now getting angry that he refused to do anything and acting like he was the one who just got a vinyl snatched from their hands.
“j-just please- “his pleading tone and wavering voice caught your attention but you still looked at your blanket, letting your fingers draw little circles and shapes on it, doing anything but not looking at him like he wanted you to. you didn’t even know why the environment was so tense all of a sudden, sure he took that vinyl in a rather harsh way and you felt hurt, but you didn’t understand why you both were acting the way you were.
“listen, please, just listen to me for a second here” he practically begged and that broke your resolve a little, you forcibly tore your eyes away from your bed to look at him. he looked desperate, his breathe coming out shallow and way too quickly as he rushed to fill the silence that has been hanging in the air.
“the vinyl, i want you to listen to it when i’m out of this room, that’s all i ask you to do” you wordlessly agreed and looked back down, continuing to draw shapes and your heart finally dropped when he left without saying another word, the door shutting behind him making you flinch and an empty sob ripped through your throat. you brought your knees to your chest and dropped your face on it, tears stinging your eyes but you refused to cry.
you stared down the vinyl sitting pretty on the edge of the table out of your periphery, contemplating whether to play it now or later but deciding that anytime it would just be a reminder that he didn’t want to listen to it with you, you just stomped to the table and tried not to cry as you placed the vinyl in the player and let the pin drop, your hands fiddled with one another under your sweater that you had to admit was not appropriate for the weather, as you waited for the song to begin.
but a pleasant surprise knocked all breath from your chest.
it was a new one, that was for sure, because instead of hearing the voice of some known singer in your time, your ears drowned in the all too familiar voice that surrounded you.
jimin’s voice.
sitting on the ground alone, i get taken over by ever-growing thoughts ‘since when have you been hurting me’ even you don’t know.
you’re hurting too, cause you’re mine, i just wanna blow your mind again, you’re moving further away like this.
“i’m alright” though i say so, maybe the truth is that i’m not.
i want you to be your light, baby, you should be your light so that you are not hurt anymore so that you can smile.
i want you to be your night, baby, you could be your night so that this night can be honest with you.
and the tears you so desperately held back, fell in quiet rivers down your face as you crouched down, letting your forehead rest on the edge of the table as the lyrics sunk into every one of your nerves, slowly and painfully, your cries were silent, letting the song do all the crying for you because jimin sounded so desperate, like he needed you to be strong and he needed him to be strong to get through this.
promise me now even if you feel alone many times a day, don’t throw yourself away.
pause for a moment right here, hook your pinky with mine, and promise me now.
and the song came to an end, leaving you gasping for air around you as the room held its breath for your reaction.
your body ached, both in emotional exhaustion and from just staying still in an uncomfortable position.
no wonder he didn’t want you to listen to it when he was in the room. jimin basically spilled himself on this song, a silent plea continuing throughout to both him and you.
that things will be okay, things will be alright, we just have to get through one more night and the day will be better than we expect it to.
the reason for your weeks long fight was because both of you had never been in love, so exploring the unknown emotion together put a bunch of stops in your path, you loved him, he loved you but love simply wasn’t enough sometimes, both your insecurities never allowed you to bask in each other’s love. which lead to inconsistency, in your emotions, in your scenarios, in your everyday life, there were inconsistencies you couldn’t get past.
and after a painful day of fighting and screaming till both of you cried and sat on the floor, just sobbing with pieces of you all around you, jimin shakily held his hand out to you, your just as trembling fingers reached out and weakly held on, as he made you promise that you will try, if not anything else, you will try. and then to lighten the mood, wrapped his pinky around yours making a strained chuckle leave your lips as he cautiously pulled you into his lap and rocked you both back and forth until you couldn’t cry anymore tears and he couldn’t either.
you will always be grateful to him for that day because he held on when you couldn’t and it only felt right that you would extend forward to hold on now.
you got up from your crouched position, patting your cheeks and carefully removing the vinyl from the player and putting it in your favorites box, and reaching around for your phone, quickly dialing his number and holding your breath as you waited for him to pick up.
“hello- “you could hear the caution in his simple greeting.
“where the fuck are you? i need to see you.” you let out roughly, trying not to make your tone waver and you felt his nervous gulp at your tone even if he was definitely far away.
“l-like right now?” he stuttered, clearing his throat afterwards and you felt a faint smile tug at your lips at how scared he seemed.
“yes, like right now”
“oh okay, i’m in the studio with hose- “you quickly cut the call after you got his location, sliding it into your pocket and sprinting out your door.
a knock on the glass door of his shared studio with his friends made jimin’s leg jump under the table, hitting the surface and making him wince in pain, immediately clutching his hand around it and limping towards the door all while awkwardly wrapping his palm around the injured area. he knew it was you. but that didn’t mean his heart didn’t fall to his stomach when he saw you standing there, hair slightly disheveled, red eyes and lips in a flat line, but you still looked so beautiful to him. the most beautiful really.
before he could utter a word, you pushed yourself into the studio, closing the door behind you and staring at with an expression he couldn’t decipher. and to him, you looked pissed. but you were honestly just brimming with new-found hope for you too. if he said you could try, you could and you would try.
but it did not seem that way for poor jimin who shuffled on his feet uncomfortably, not understanding why you would cut the call so abruptly and visit him in his studio which he was yet to show you officially.
and then his breath stuttered as a possibility of the situation came to his mind.
did you come all this way to break up with him?
is that why you seemed to be in such a hurry, to get rid of him as quickly as you could?
“the song was…” you trailed off, pausing to turn and lean back on the desk behind you, leaving jimin with his heart in his throat as he waited for your response.
he put so much of him into the song and if you didn’t like it, he didn’t know what he would do with himself.
“if you’ll keep your promise, i will too” your voice broke him out of his trance, hope blooming in his chest again at your words as you continued to speak.
“because if we’re going to do this, i need to know that we’re both going to be putting in the effort, i’m tired of the misunderstandings between us, we were never like this. i just want to go back to how we used to be” you sighed, your mind mulling over the start of your journey to love, it was so innocent, the beginning of love always is innocent. and jimin missed it too.
“as much as i love how we used to be, we can’t fully go back to how we used to be, we’ve been through…. too much to act like everything can go back to normal. we can keep working towards it though, we can work towards the days we used to have, and i’ll keep my promise, i promise that i’ll keep my promise” you went through a turmoil of emotions at his words, relief at his promise, but also a faint ache at the harsh realization that he was right, you couldn’t just magically go back to who you were, but you can keep trying till you get there.
you kept your head down, the faintest bit of satisfaction in your heart, as you moved forward to let yourself finally give up and just let him hug you. you heard him sigh in relief before wrapping his arms around you and burying your face into his neck. but then you abruptly pulled back making him furrow his eyebrows, only for that to melt into a soft smile as you held your pinky up for him.
“we promise, right?” you meekly said, with a faint smile and he put his pinky against yours, nodding his head as he pulled you back to him with your linked pinkies making you stumble and fall into him again, a quick giggle leaving your lips.
“we promise” and he sealed his promise with a kiss on the top of your head, leaving you to nuzzle into him closer until distance was but a myth between you and him.
and after that day at the studio, just like you expected, he visited you everyday at work only to drag you to the back alley for proving that he kept his promise, in more ways than one and you went back to letting songs play in his car as you played with his hair between your fingertips and your bodies became one.
as it turns out, all you both needed to do to be ‘we’ again was to keep your promise.
paper hearts - p.jm.
genre: fluff, college au! f2l (9k)
summary: hearts fragile like paper, tear it or don’t? (fools!universe)
masterlist series masterlist
jimin.
your first friend in college.
in a sea of unfamiliar faces, jimin’s face stood out like you were meant to see him, like you were supposed to feel your heart stop in place with how his smile made you feel when you introduced yourself or how he hold onto that smile while shaking your hand as slowly as he could just to tease you, and it didn’t take long for him to occupy a part of your heart.
well, at least as your best friend.
“i really don’t get it” jimin whines as he wipes down the counter, you look up from typing away on your computer with a slight frown and tilt your head at his annoyed expression.
“get what?” you sip the hot chocolate that jimin graciously made for you the second you stepped into the bakery he worked at.
“i don’t get what is happening with jungkook and that girl” you turn back to see jungkook sharing a strawberry shortcake with a girl and they had huge smiles on their faces, both of them positively glowing as sunlight hit them in all the right places.
you could feel the lovey-dovey atmosphere around them all the way from where you’re sitting and it was cute, kind of cute, you grimaced a little because you were never a romance enthusiast.
or maybe you were just as bitter as jimin.
but you’re better at hiding it than he is.
“they seem to like each other, why are you so mad about that?” you scoff while masking your own not-so-nice feelings with a glare, and see jimin huff out a long breath, getting even more annoyed when you point out his obvious unnecessary reaction.
“they met like a week ago” you raised your eyebrows at the bitter tone in his voice.
“okay, so what about that? they like each other and things look good, who put a stick up your ass?” you chuckled a little and went back to typing, jimin lightly threw the cloth on the counter and you shake your head at his dramatic action.
“it’s not about that, i’m stuck doing all the work because jungkook is in love with someone he met a week ago, i shouldn’t have pushed him to her.” he scolded himself for being so encouraging to jungkook but deep down, he knows that’s not the reason at all.
“is it really that or you’re just jealous because you didn’t get laid this past week?” you quipped with pursed lips and jimin threw a glare your way causing you to laugh.
“you can just say you’re jealous, you don’t have to be a bitch about jungkook finally getting with someone” you shrugged, and jimin rubbed his forehead.
“listen, i’m not jealous, i just, can you at least listen to me?” jimin whined exasperatedly when you ignored him and continued typing, you slightly paused, nodding distractedly, holding a hand up to signal that it will take a minute and jimin huffs as he steps away.
“why do i even try with you?” he pouts deeply and you almost give in, wanting to shut your laptop right then and give him your undivided attention but you hold yourself back.
“don’t be so fucking dramatic, give me a minute and i’m all yours” you mumbled while rolling your eyes, finally finishing your assignment and saving it with a relieved sigh, now you were free for the weekend and you didn’t have to worry about your professor breathing down your neck to finish your work, you look up with a small smile to see jimin staring at you with an unreadable expression.
“what’s up? why are you being so pissy?” you crossed your arms over your chest and stared pointedly at him, jimin suddenly looks shy, nervous even which has you concerned for your usually very confident and charismatic friend.
“i feel like i should be doing that too, you know?” he narrowed his eyes as he tried to explain what exactly he was feeling and it only made you feel more confused.
“….sharing a strawberry shortcake with someone?” you asked with an incredulous expression and jimin resisted the urge to hit you on top of your head, thank goodness he liked you.
“no, what the hell? not that. i want to be like that” he gestured towards jungkook and the girl who were now completely obvious to the rest of the world, it’s like they were floating in their own bubble built with joy and security, any person in the room would be able to tell that they were witnessing love blooming right in front of them.
you’re not sure if jimin is jealous or just being a bitter old man about young love, but you knew you were jealous.
you want that too, a bubble of your own that you build carefully and steadily till no one can break it, you wanted to experience love too.
it’s only when jimin starts talking again that you lean back in to hear him, not fully listening to him but listening to him enough to not lose track of the conversation or to get out of your mind weaving its imaginations.
“i’m not jealous, i’m more than happy for our jungkook but there’s a little part of me that also wants to sit in front of the sun, completely lost in the person sitting opposite to me, i want that feeling of acting like there’s only us in the room and everyone else is just air” jimin speaks whimsically, like there was magic twirling in his words, he had a charming smile on his face as he narrated what the love of his dreams would be like.
“so, being in love?” you mutter and trail off, not paying attention to the curious look that grazes your face as you think about how love must feel like, it had to be an out of this world feeling, right? that is why people go so crazy over it. it’s the feeling many great authors have tried to explain, while they have given a peek to what love is, even the greatest couldn’t define it fully.
you don’t believe in romance however, you don’t believe you’ll ever get to build the bubble you want, you accepted that maybe one day, you might fall in love but romance might never show up in your life, because you’re simply not ready for the vulnerability that comes with the rushing strands of romance.
and you’re so lost in yourself, you miss the way jimin stops thinking and looks at you with a smaller, but softer smile on his face, the smile that no one knows about, not even you.
“yeah, being in love.” it’s after he says these words with so much warmth that you snap fully out of whatever daze you went in.
because jimin sounds serious and he’s only serious about a handful of things, one of them being sales at the chanel store, you’re not kidding, you can’t even count all the times he’s dragged you there during black fridays, and by now, even the staff know him by name, another thing he is serious about is relationships, not just romantic ones, but friends and family, he takes them all very seriously, he’s always telling you that without effort, any relationship would collapse which is why we should take care of ourself and the people around us.
“why?” you can’t help but ask, like sure it looks and sounds lovely to be with someone you care about, but why is jimin so suddenly interested in it?
“i’m just sick of seeing it all around me and not experiencing it myself, like even in the movies we watch or the songs we listen to, it’s all people seem to want, i’m just, i think i’m curious to see if it’s as beautiful as everyone describes it” you can relate to that, you’ve switched more than a few movies or songs because they got too cheesy or you just wanted to avoid something that seemed so far away to you.
“what if it hurts?” you ask, looking down at your fingers as you fiddle with them, waiting for his answer and he shrugs.
“then i get hurt” you finally look at him, mostly out of shock, because he can’t be this casual about getting his heart broken one day but jimin looks determined, to experience it, to live it, to be in love, you haven’t seen jimin this sure in a long time.
something about his simple answer nags you, maybe it’s just that easy, you just get hurt, you move on, you find someone else but deep down, you know that if you’re going to love, you’re only going to love one person and you’re going to do it right then or maybe you’re just a coward who doesn’t want to hurt someone or get hurt.
“well, you’ll get there one day” you look away from his intense gaze and pretend to keep working on something in your laptop, refusing to spare him anymore glances and out of your periphery, you can see jimin eye you one last time before sighing heavily and going back to stand at the till.
-
you don’t talk about it ever again, you even change the topic every time jimin brings it up, you know that he’s getting suspicious but you can’t help it, all that talk about love or finding your fit, made your mind cloudy, you had a lot of thoughts about it and none of them seemed like your thoughts, almost like borrowed thoughts from people around you to form an idea of love that you’re not sure you believe in.
you’re young, you shouldn’t be worrying about this and jimin shouldn’t either but here you are, two idiots aimlessly looking for love that has never presented itself in their lives before.
it has, but it’s not like you two have a clue.
you watch from where you sit in the cafeteria with narrowed eyes, jimin, who said he would be back in five minutes and it’s been twenty minutes now, is surrounded with people, the jocks, the nerds, other stereotypical people from different social groups, and he’s happily in the center of it all with an easy smile on his face.
it’s like he glows with attention, he glows with his charisma to be able to talk to anyone without wanting to run away, a power you both want and never want to be blessed with because even if you’re not all about being around people, it would be nice to hold a conversation with just about anyone, but jimin clearly doesn’t mind as he says something that has everyone around him laughing while clutching their stomachs.
for a second, you want to grab him and pull him with you so he can make you laugh like that because you don’t necessarily enjoy other people’s attention, but you don’t move an inch, you just clasp your eyes shut and slam your head on the table in front of you.
you shouldn’t think too much about this, it’s just jimin, he’s always loved being around people and you’ve never felt this urge to have all his attention to yourself but here you are, one bad move away from dragging him back to your table.
you are desperate for someone who’s already close to you and naturally, gives you a lot of attention, and you feel pathetic for thinking this way.
this isn’t like you.
you’ve never wanted jimin beside you so badly, and you aren’t sure about what you’ll talk about if he’s beside you, you’re just hoping he will carry the conversation like he usually does.
you feel a tap on your table making you look up to see namjoon staring at you unsurely.
yeah, slamming your head on a table in a room full of people probably will raise some questions about your sanity.
namjoon and you have a very casual but deep friendship, you don’t know how to explain it, but if jimin left your side at a party, you definitely would go look for namjoon to get drunk with and talk about anything in the world, he’s very open to any topic and you’re more than happy to indulge in his bright and unique mind.
“you okay?” he asks you with raised eyebrows and you nod sheepishly.
you’re just peachy.
he didn’t look like he believed you but he let it slide.
“then hopefully i will see you at the party tonight, we can pick up on that documentary about whales again?” he tilts his head, this is why you love talking with him, drunk or sober, he makes what seem like the most boring topics in the world into things that you want to be invested in, though he is much more fun when he’s drunk, and normally, you would throw finger guns and excitedly tell him yes but you already have something planned.
“movie night with jimin, so probably no, sorry joon, but i’ll come to the library in a bit, i need to pick up some books, you’ll be there, right?” he shrugs like it’s obvious he will be there because he does volunteer to work there from time to time and he leaves after that, and you’re all by yourself again.
not for too long though.
“namjoon hyung left already? i was about to come over and say hi” jimin’s voice makes you jump in your place and when he sits down beside you, you feel the all too familiar feeling of relief at his voice and presence flood through you as you exhale deeply.
jimin doesn’t notice your eyes travel across his face, taking him in like it was the first time you saw him and starts eating from the tray in front of him.
friends are allowed to admire each other, right?
“yeah, he just wanted to ask about today’s party, speaking of which, we’re still on for movie night, right?” you nudged jimin from stuffing his face with the day-old cafeteria food, he looks up with a frown, mouth smothered with red sauce and gulping down hard.
how attractive.
“i didn’t tell you?”
“tell me what?”
he furrowed his eyebrows deeper, trying to remember if he told you about his random date tonight and once he comes to the realization that he indeed didn’t tell you, he freezes.
movie nights.
they really are nothing special, it’s not like you do anything besides watch some action or animation movie while eating the greasiest foods, it’s the one-day jimin and you refuse to diet or be careful with your body, and most movie nights end with you drunk and asleep on the couch.
movie nights came to existence when your girlfriend in first year dumped you and you went crying to jimin’s dorm because you didn’t know who else you could go to, jimin knew all along that she was going to dump you at some point, he had warned you even that it was only a matter of time before you end up hurt, and considering the playful nature of your friendship, you expected him to drop the ‘i told you so’ line but instead, he scanned you with concerned eyes and silently put on the funniest movie he could think of.
boss baby.
and within seconds, maybe it was because of how much warmth jimin held in his eyes as he dried your tears and patted your head with a careful ‘don’t cry, not when you’re with me’ or maybe it was just because boss baby (tied with big hero 6, tangled and soul) was the best animated movie ever made, but you forgot.
you forgot about your girlfriend who you really did like a lot, you had a lot in common with her, and it was the first time you were dating after coming out as bisexual, it felt good, and even if you felt like you could really fall for her, you knew something was missing with you two and you even feel grateful that you didn’t have to cut her off, she did that for you.
but that day, you felt with jimin what you didn’t feel with your girlfriend.
safe.
you felt safe with jimin.
so yeah, nothing special.
nothing special about the way you looked at jimin that night and the tight feeling in your chest that you’ve been carrying since that day.
“date tonight, i won’t be coming over for movie night, i really thought i told you” you couldn’t hide your disappointment at his words, you really were looking forward to watching movies and eating junk tonight, especially with jimin, but you quickly masked it with a huge grin.
“don’t even worry about it, go and have fun, i’m sure it will go well, i will probably just watch something and eat ice cream anyway” you said with as much fake enthusiasm as you could and you almost felt like he didn’t believe you but he flashed you an equally wide grin and nodded happily.
“i hope it goes well too, i like him, he’s in my sociology class and he seemed pretty cool, we’ll see” he winks at you and he always does that, you usually just wink back at him but today, you want to bury your head in your plate of mashed potatoes to hide your flushed face. you cough and look away from him, picking your food with the dull plastic fork and your reaction confuses jimin a little, but he shrugs and continues stuffing his face.
-
“are these all the books you need?” namjoon scans the small stack of books on the counter he’s sat at and you bob your head as you sit across him, cheek leaning on your open palm.
“wait, where’s jimin? you two are usually always together” that line stings more than it should, yeah you and jimin are always together but you feel weird when someone else says it, like fuck it, you get around a lot by your own too, you don’t need jimin for everything.
“he’s preparing for a date with a cute guy from his sociology class” you mumbled with obvious disappointment and maybe even some fury laced in your voice and namjoon’s mouth forms an ‘o’ at your words.
“so, he ditched your movie night?” he states plainly and lifts his hands in surrender when you glare at him.
“he didn’t ditch me, he’s just having a date, that’s fine, i’m happy that at least one of us is having fun” your words might not be that alarming but the look on your face is, you look bitter, and like you’re ready to rip a head off and namjoon doesn’t want that to be his head so he coughs with wide eyes and returns to setting your books aside.
“what’s up with you? anything interesting?” you distractedly question as your gaze travels across the pretty empty library, it’s always this empty and namjoon is secretly grateful because he doesn’t necessarily like being around people just like you, so he enjoys the quiet and peace that the library offers.
“a little bit, i met someone in the park near han river the other day” namjoon says with a gentle grin on his face and you immediately perk up, leaning in with raised eyebrows.
“tell me everything” you whisper dramatically and namjoon lets out a laugh at your serious tone.
“there’s nothing to tell but i feel like there will be if..” he trailed off and you leaned in even more, trying to catch any details he throws at you.
“there will be if you come to the party tonight” he concludes with a sly grin on his face and you smirk, namjoon was smart, but you knew he wasn’t all that confident in the dating game so whatever was happening with him and this person he’s met, has to be something special and it’s not like you have a movie night anymore, so you return his sly grin and happily hop out of the library.
-
standing in the middle of a full room with a tight dress on with heels instead of booty shorts in your room isn’t your ideal night but you have to say, it’s not horrible so far, you’ve seen familiar faces, managed to greet and maintain a small conversation without wanting the floor to pull you in, more than a few of them asked where jimin was and it took everything in you to not visibly be annoyed.
you came here to distract yourself from him and even here, your conversations are flooded with mentions of him, you step away from everyone while nursing your peach infused drink which definitely has alcohol in it with wandering eyes, trying to find namjoon in this mess, praying to find him quickly because you will throw a chair if one more person asks about jimin.
“where the fuck is he?” you angrily type away on your phone, trying to spam him to catch his attention just in case his phone is in his pocket in this loud room and your heart leaps out of your chest when someone takes your wrist and starts walking ahead.
“sorry, you looked lost and i need to get out of here as soon as i can” namjoon yells from in front of you and you’re so glad that it’s him and not some random asshole trying to harass you.
once you’re both in the quieter area of the room, namjoon lets your wrist go with an apology and lets you know that he’s going to be back with drinks and you’re alone again.
you feel nothing but bored as you watch people bump and grind against each other, it’s only when your eyes catch jungkook’s tall figure in the room that you almost lift your hand to wave but looking at his hand holding hands with the same person you saw in the bakery, you decided against it because they looked pretty cozy and engrossed in their own conversation, it just looked like a delicate scene even in the rowdy room and you didn’t want to ruin it.
“okay vodka shots for you and beer for me”
“you know me so well.” you feign being flattered and namjoon laughs at you,
“that i do” namjoon mutters, his tongue poking out a little as he carefully tries to place the glasses on your table and you stifle a laugh when he manages to spill an entire shot on the table with a red face and cheeky smile.
“at least you didn’t spill all of them” you mused as you grabbed a glass for yourself and namjoon playfully nudged your shoulder.
“that was one time.”
“one time but it still happened kim namjoon.” you teased and he rolled his eyes at you but still clinked your glass with his and you quickly held your hands up, gesturing him to wait, namjoon waits patiently with his glass still in the air.
“what happened near han river?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him and you think you’re kidding yourself when you see namjoon blush a little.
“i met someone, and i only know their name, but i feel this kind of connection, you know? like i was supposed to meet them” he wistfully says, his eyes sparkling just a bit as he recalls his memory and you smile at him, he sounds so hopeful and you couldn’t be happier for him.
“what do you plan to do?”
“chase the feeling? all i know is, i’m going every day until i don’t feel anything anymore” namjoon is very sure of his answer and you’re more than impressed.
“good luck with that, lover boy” you tease lightly and namjoon scoffs at the cringey nickname but then starts the ever so exciting conversation about whales that you’ve been looking forward to for a long time now.
you don’t do a lot of the talking, much like in any conversation you take part in, you always let the other person speak more and namjoon loves talking, you love listening, so it really is a perfect conversation.
you are so invested in the fact that whales actually sleep while standing, you don’t pay attention to anything happening in the room around you, you tune out the entire room, you are definitely a little drunk now because the room is spinning a little and whatever namjoon is saying with the most interest in the world, is nonsense to you at this point but you still listen, nodding from time to time to show him that you’re listening.
“y/n? i thought you were staying home” you snap your head to look at where jimin’s voice comes from, the sudden movement making you a little dizzy and namjoon points behind you and there he is, jimin standing with his coat on his arm with a surprised expression on his face.
“hello hyung, have you talked to hoseok hyung lately? Is he doing better?” jimin directs his gaze to namjoon, not even waiting for you to answer but it’s not like you would have said anything, you just play with the hem of your dress as they keep talking.
just with his presence, you feel like you’ve sobered up.
you don’t know how to feel with jimin here, people walk past him, greeting him excitedly and he is equally excited to talk to everyone.
you want his attention and he keeps giving it to anyone but you.
and you know you sound petty, because jimin would never intentionally not talk to you, he just enjoys company even if it’s unfamiliar and you don’t.
it also doesn’t help that jimin looks good, he always does but today he’s put in a lot more effort than usual, his hair is slicked back, he’s wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into his black jeans which makes him look dapper, there’s a lone silver earring hanging and he’s even wearing his beloved chanel necklace which rests neatly on his smooth skin, his fingers are adorned with delicate rings and you feel weak in the knees by just looking at him. you’re not the only one though and that annoys you.
since he’s walked in, you’ve taken note of how many people turn to look at him with pleased grins, and then whisper to each other about how he looks, some even wishing that they go home with him tonight and you just don’t know how to feel.
you’ve never been bothered about this, jimin was very easy on the eyes, it wasn’t a secret that he was easily a lot peoples crush on campus and you never cared about it before but tonight, that’s all you can think of with a scowl on your face.
“i think i’m going to head home, thank you for the drinks joon, i will send the money when i reach my apartment” you hop out of your bar stool and take your purse, not bothering to say goodbye to jimin who is more than caught off guard when you don’t hug him goodbye like you usually do, namjoon doesn’t question you, just nods and gives you his famous dimpled smile and lets you go your merry way.
jimin’s eyes follow you as you slowly push through people and attempt to leave the place, and he doesn’t know why but something in him tells him to run after you, which is exactly what he does, jimin ignores everyone who tries to talk to him on the way and catches you right outside the house, you’re looking through your purse for something and upon hearing the door open, you turn to see jimin breathing heavily while looking straight at you, and you immediately feel your palms sweat a little.
“what are you doing out here?”
“why are you leaving already? i just got here.” jimin has never been one to beat around the bush so the forwardness of his question doesn’t throw you off.
“i’ve been here for a while and it’s getting late so i’m going to leave.” It isn’t a total lie but it isn’t the truth either.
also, you keep paying attention to everyone but me and i know i sound stupid but i want your eyes on me is something that stays at the tip of your tongue and you don’t let him know that you look at him in a way you shouldn’t, you think of him in a way you shouldn’t, your feelings are making you selfish, possessive even and it’s driving you insane.
but you can’t tell him any of that, you can never tell him how you are starting to feel about him.
jimin tilts his head at you, scanning your posture, it’s just too much of a coincidence that you decide to leave right when he arrived and he lets you know exactly that.
“i don’t believe you, you’ve been acting strange lately.”
“i can’t do anything if you can’t believe something this simple, there’s literally nothing else going on” you lie straight through your teeth and you want to pull your hair out at the pure frustration you feel, your fingers nervously fiddle with the heart charm necklace jimin gave you for your birthday this year and it feels like it’s burning on your skin right now.
because fuck, he knows, he has noticed it, you thought you were getting away with it but you’re not.
“what are you even doing here? aren’t you supposed to be on your date? the same date you cancelled movie night for?” you can’t help but be petty, ridiculously petty even and you know that now, you’re definitely not acting like yourself when jimin throws his head back with a groan, he doesn’t understand why you seem so bothered and defensive all of a sudden.
“i told you i’m sorry about movie night.” jimin whines, but there is a pleading tone to his whine, a pleading tone that you ignore.
“no, you didn’t and you aren’t answering my question about your date either.” you quickly correct him and he pushes his hair back roughly with his fingers, a habit you’ve chastised him about a lot of times, you almost reach to slap his hand away from damaging his hair like you usually do but you hold yourself back because nothing feels like how it used to feel.
“it didn’t go well, we agreed that we just didn’t have that spark and that we’re better as friends, that’s all and i didn’t want to go home, so i came here and imagine my surprise, i see you here sipping shots with namjoon when you told me you were going to stay home and eat ice cream.” you scoff with raised eyebrows at how he turns the tables on you because his tone is so accusing as if you were sucking faces with namjoon right in front of him and it further annoyed you.
“i don’t need to tell you everything, you’re not my dad and you’re acting like you walked in on me and namjoon doing something we shouldn’t, and i can’t believe you’re making this about me when this is very clearly about you, you never even let me know you were going on a date until the day of” you point a finger at him with your anger practically radiating off of you and jimin just shakes his head at you.
“and you know that? movie night is cancelled from now on” you cross your arms over your chest as you say this, not letting any vulnerability show because it hurts to cancel something that meant a lot to you and jimin lets his mouth drop open at your words.
“what do you mean movie night is cancelled? you’re doing this because of this one time, just because you want to be petty?” jimin asks you, his voice raising with each word and it becomes so hard for you to fight your tears because you hate it so much when people yell at you, especially when people you love yell at you.
you sniff a little and look away from him, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down and facing him again, your heart breaks at how utterly gorgeous he looks even under this dim light, it’s like the moonlight dances on his skin, his eyes are still shining, his rings are sparkling around his fingers, his earring keeps swaying with the wind and his hair is slightly out of place but still well kept and it breaks you because you can never call him yours, you can’t call this beautiful man anything other than your friend.
“not just to be petty, i’m just done getting ditched, it clearly doesn’t mean a lot to you because this isn’t the first, but the fourth time you’ve cancelled without letting me know and i’m tired of looking like i’m desperate and following you around when you probably don’t even care about me” your voice is small and tight as you say this, and you’re not sure if you’re even talking about movie night anymore, you feel like you’re indirectly letting him know that you don’t know what this feeling is, this feeling that is burning your chest and heart everyday and this feeling that makes you want to push him away and leap to hug him tight at the same time.
jimin grows silent at your heavy words and somber expression, he doesn’t know when this argument became so huge, he doesn’t understand why you don’t look at him when you speak anymore, he also doesn’t understand why he feels like he wants to comfort you when he’s supposed to be angry, jimin has never felt this lost in his life.
“y/n, where is all this coming from? you know you mean the world and more to me” his voice becomes a lot softer, a lot lower, almost into a whisper, and you wished he didn’t say the words he did, you wished he didn’t talk like you were so special to him, because that is just fueling the raging feeling that’s settled in your chest.
“please talk to me” he begs with his hands reaching out to you and you want to run away, which is exactly what you end up doing.
“i need to go, don’t think too much about this, we’ll talk it out later but i need to be alone right now” you scratch your neck while you say this, refusing to look at him, and jimin feels his heart slip at the abrupt rejection you hand him. before he could do or say anything to convince you to stay, you quickly walk away from him and disappear into the night, and all jimin does is watch you leave.
-
you didn’t end up sleeping that night, all your mind could think of was jimin.
your skin still burned from that last look he gave you, the confused, lost look with his lips turned down and it was noticeably clear that he was upset.
jimin was always so happy and bright, he had his moments but when you were with him, to this day, he’s never looked at you like this.
and it took you the entire night to understand that the way you looked at him changed, you don’t think of him as a friend anymore and that you weren’t annoyed, you were jealous of all the people he’s talked to, you were jealous that he was going on a date with someone that wasn’t you.
you feel like someone has suddenly placed a lovesick filter over your eyes or maybe it’s how you have always looked at him but realizing it scared you, you couldn’t lose him, you would be incomplete without him and you were almost sure that he didn’t see you like you saw him, it was obvious with how active his dating life has been since the beginning of college. you don’t blame him for that though, he can do what he wants, it’s your fault being a coward with your own feelings.
you couldn’t think of one thing that jimin has done to show his interest to you in any way other than how a friend would.
that entire night, you lay with a heavy heart filled with feelings for your friend, your good friend who’s done nothing but support you, you pushed him away because of your selfish feelings and you hate everything, you hate that you somehow started to like him, you hate that now when you see his hand, you want to hold it and swing it around, you keep imagining scenarios of domestic things you two could be doing if you’re together and it only hurts you more.
-
after that disastrous night at the party, you never talk to him again, he never talks to you either, both of you don’t attempt to contact each other, instead you start avoiding each other.
you sit alone at lunch now, sometimes namjoon sits with you, sometimes it’s jungkook and his girlfriend who are honestly good company, they managed to make you feel single but still included you in every conversation but never did jimin even come close to where you sat, you’re not even sure if you’ve seen him around the cafeteria.
you stop going to the bakery in your free time to keep him entertained at work, jimin still looks up every time the door dings, full of hope that you’ve come to him but you don’t, and he’s left sighing while gazing longingly at the seat you usually occupy, he plays with the same heart charm necklace dangling on his skin whenever he thinks of you, but it only makes him sadder.
“i didn’t know beavers mated for life” you look up at namjoon as you bite off the apple in your hand and namjoon shrugs, jotting down the daily log for the library.
you started spending a lot more time with namjoon or just in general, in the library because it’s so calm here, you need that kind of calm or you might just go insane.
“and i also don’t understand how you manage a bakery and library at the same time” you point at him and namjoon chuckles a little at your accusing tone.
“it’s not like i work full time here.” he rolls his eyes and continues doing the little jobs assigned to him.
“but you’re always here.” you almost yell at him and he enjoys seeing how frustrated you get with his perfect capability of managing to work at two places at the same time and still do well in both while not feeling overwhelmed.
“i’ll teach you one day, don’t worry” and just as you’re about to throw a witty comment at him, a hand reaches out from behind you and places a book in front of namjoon, you would recognize that hand anywhere.
“jimin, it’s been a while since i’ve seen you here” namjoon grins at his friend who gives him a tight-lipped smile, you don’t acknowledge jimin’s presence, grabbing a random book off the counter and acting like you’re reading it, namjoon’s eyes dart over the two of you, you don’t look at jimin and jimin looks very stiff standing beside you, he isn’t even smiling like he usually does.
yikes, namjoon wants to be anywhere but around the two of you because the tension is so obvious, he almost considers jumping out the closest window but the fine he would have to cover would be too much for his student wallet.
“just needed it for an assignment hyung” jimin offers with a dull tone and namjoon just nods, quickly scanning the book for jimin and he notices how jimin’s eyes keep darting towards you but you don’t even lift your head, namjoon isn’t even sure if you’re breathing with how tight your shoulders look.
“good to see you here, y/n” jimin says, in a way too formal of a tone, and he looks disappointed when you just ignore him and continue reading, he sighs heavily with guilty laying his heart over and silently thanks namjoon, his steps are slow as he walks away, you immediately loosen up once he’s gone and exhale deeply.
“didn’t know you were into human beings and their many pleasures” namjoon gestures to the book you’re holding, it’s a book with sex tips and you want to smack your head over and over again with it just so you don’t have to see namjoon’s cheeky grin right now.
“you could’ve at least told him hello” he says lightly but there is a scold in his tone, his eyebrows are furrowed and he isn’t joking around anymore.
“it’s just complicated joon” you mumble sadly and namjoon takes the book away from you, looking at you pointedly.
“you should go after him and try, i don’t want you to regret this” he simply instructs and goes back to doing his work, namjoon’s right and you know it, you take in his advice slowly, jimin couldn’t have gone far, the library is huge and it takes a lot of time just to exit it, and if you run now, you could catch him.
but what would you say?
you decide that you will think about that on the way to him as you slide your chair back and start running.
what will you say?
would he even say anything back?
does he hate you?
you run and run, until you see his sage green cardigan just peeking around the corner, you fasten your pace to catch him, and grab his shoulder right when he almost leaves the building. he turns around grimly, like he was expecting that it was you.
“y/n” he says softly, but he also shrugs your hand off his shoulder, your heart clenches in place with how his voice and his actions differed so much.
“looked like you were having fun with hyung, i didn’t know it was so easy to replace me in your life” his eyes are ice cold, all the warmth you have associated jimin with since you’ve met him, disappears right in front of you and your words stay in your mouth because what will you say to that?
“jimin, why are you speaking that way? there’s nothing going on between us, you know that” you try to reason with him, and he shakes his head like he doesn’t believe you, scoffing a little and you feel hurt at his reaction, because this isn’t the jimin you know, he’s like this to people he doesn’t care about, he’s never like this to you of all people.
“maybe i don’t know, but you don’t have to explain anything to me, goodbye” he says with a straight face and you don’t understand how he seems so indifferent with hurting you, and you don’t say anything else as he takes one last look at you and leaves you right at the exit.
-
it hurt a lot that day, to be treated as any other person in the world, and not someone who actually meant something to jimin, and you can’t bring yourself to blame him because you weren’t all that different from him, you also weren’t treating him like you used to and it was only a matter of time before all that ignorance blew up on your faces.
and you know now, it’s glaringly obvious that you like jimin, you’ve liked him for a while and the only way you could manage coming to that realization was by pushing him away, which was stupid on your part but how else were you going to handle knowing that you were probably in love with someone who was your best friend?
you’re not sure what made you drive over to jimin’s apartment the very next day, maybe it was just knowing that even rejection wouldn’t hurt as much anymore but keeping your feelings to yourself will just be damaging to you and your friendship, as your best friend, he deserved to know how you actually felt, he was the last person you wanted to lie or hide from.
you shift on your feet as you stand in front of jimin’s room, you’re hesitant to knock or enter like you usually do, what are you even doing here? you can’t just tell jimin how you feel, what if he starts to hate you? or even worse, he never wants to see you again?
you could handle rejection but you’re not sure if you can handle not being around jimin anymore.
you take a deep breath as tears line up your eyes, why is this so hard? why did you have to like jimin the way you do? you can’t do this, not today.
you decide that you will tell jimin another time, you’re not ready to lose him yet but just as your feet back off from the door to turn and leave, you hear the door open and you’re frozen in your spot, your heart racing down the hall as jimin steps out with an equally surprised look on his face.
he gulps, tightening his grip around the bag he’s holding, he didn’t expect to see you anymore, not after he practically blew up on you when you were just trying to make amends.
“i-i was just going to throw the garbage” he nervously mutters, holding up the black bag in his hand and you nod while fiddling with your fingers as he purses his lips, alternating looking at you and the wall behind you before he sighed and finally decided to do something instead of standing around like a fool.
“wait inside, i will be back” he instructs, opening the door wider for you and you just give him a tight smile and step in, watching as jimin disappears out of view and the door close behind you. you never feel weird coming into jimin’s apartment, you spent half of your first year here rather than in your dorm room because simply his apartment was so cozy and a lot more spacious.
jimin earned a lot from the bakery, be it in the form of tips or his paycheck because the bakery was just very high-end, you used to love coming here and doing your assignments or playing board games with jimin, but it is weird now, you feel like you’re intruding on him which is the last thing you want to do.
you take off your coat, and settle on the sofa, throwing your head back because you can’t believe you’re going to tell jimin that you like him and potentially ruin a very good friendship but were you two friends anymore? you haven’t talked for days, the last few conversations you’ve had with him aren’t how friends talk and you want to make some sense out of it but you don’t understand anything yourself.
the only thing you’re sure of is that you like jimin, might even love him and that’s what you are going to tell him.
“sorry, that took long” jimin lets out a small chuckle, as he steps into the house and you are already sweating, you wave him off, muttering a it’s okay as he sits down on the sofa, at the other end, away from you. the distance hurts but it was appropriate considering your situation.
“jimin look, i’m going to make this quick because i really don’t want it to seem like a big deal” you jump right into it, you turn to him and he immediately straightens up in his place, showing you that he is listening.
“i’m not sure what exactly happened or why you thought that way, but you said that i replaced you with namjoon and namjoon, is just, a very good friend, i literally only talk about animals with him, me and namjoon are not like us, we will never be like how we both are so i just wanted to take that out of the way” you stand up in the middle of your explanation, it’s a nervous habit of yours, pacing around while talking and you see jimin sigh, in relief or exhaustion, you’re not sure but you continue before you lose all courage and run away again.
“another thing is, i like you, love you even, not how a friend should.” you pause, there’s no turning back now so you gather the little bit of strength that you can and continue but you don’t dare to look at jimin, you’re not ready for that yet.
“i’ve truthfully not been able to see you as a friend at all, like friends don’t get jealous which is exactly how i get when i see you around others, i feel like dragging you out of the room and having you all to myself and it sounds stupid but that’s how i feel, friends don’t look at each other like i look at you, it’s not in me to see you as just a friend anymore, i can’t keep lying to myself and to you, it isn’t fair on either of us” you put your hands on your hips and hang your head low.
you’ve said it, it’s out now, jimin’s heard it and he hasn’t moved an inch and the rejection you feel from just his stoic posture has you wanting to wail into your pillow and disappear into thin air.
“so yeah, that’s what i wanted to say, you don’t have to give me a reply or anything, and i understand if you don’t want to talk again, take care” you mumble shamefully, your voice cracking in the middle and it’s taking everything in you to not cry in front of him.
you sniff as silently as you can and take your coat, not turning back to look at him.
“y/n wait, you didn’t let me speak” jimin finally talks from where he sits, his face is as serious as it was all those days ago and you want the ground to swallow you up just to protect yourself from whatever gentle rejection he will give you.
you hold your breath as you watch him getting up from the couch and walking over to you, slowly like he has all the time in the world and you really just want him to say what he wants to before you start crying right here.
jimin reaches and stops right in front of you, you don’t look at him and his face softens at your nervous stance, he brings his hand up and you stiffen even more when he reaches your collarbones and slowly takes hold of the necklace you two share.
“you know what else friends don’t do? this” he lifts the heart charm necklace from your skin and you gape at him, your heart racing in your chest as he smiles down at you.
“i might give attention to people around me but i don’t give my heart just to anyone, y/n, and if i gave it to you, you can’t think that i see you as a friend, i’ve never seen you as a friend, i’ve seen you like a lover, always admiring and always from far away, but i don’t have to stay away anymore, so thank you for not being a coward like me, i love you too, i love you the most.” he drops his confession subtly, and for a second, you think you hear him wrong, but when you look up to finally meet his eyes, you see the way he looks at you. it’s the same way you look at him.
and that’s all the confirmation you need, you drop your head on his chest and groan loudly because you almost had a panic attack just by imagining the different ways this could go, you definitely didn’t think you would end up with your head on his chest but you don’t mind, it feels nice and warm, it feels just like jimin.
“couldn’t you have just said it earlier? i was ready to usain bolt out of here” you complain and he laughs above you, pushing your head in further into his chest and softly patting your head while circling his other arm around you.
“that would’ve ruined the suspense” he lightly jokes and if you weren’t as blissed out as you were, you would have punched him in the arm but your loved up heart can only lift your eyes to glare at him.
jimin looks starstruck, like your eyes hold all the galaxies in the world and he’s swimming in them, even your glare softens just by looking at him, he lifts the pad of his thumb to brush against your cheek in a such a tender way that you want to melt, you want to melt right into his arms.
“please never look away from me again.” he adds seriously because he’s missed looking at you, he’s missed looking at you with all his love and care settled into them and you nod wordlessly, pulling him in closer and rubbing your nose with his, making him giggle lightly.
and right then, you feel the bubble you’ve dreamed of, building itself steadily around you with the pure joy and love radiating off you two and you feel complete and safe.
you never thought you could make a bubble of your own, and you didn’t think that jimin would feel so right in your arms, and you definitely never thought that you would be so comfortable even with your most vulnerable emotions worn on your sleeve.
but you aren’t scared anymore, you aren’t running anymore, you don’t want to slam your head on a cafeteria table anymore, you don’t think jimin would let you do that from now on to be honest and you’re so glad that he’s proved you wrong, several times over, wrecked all your beliefs and still made you feel the way you do.
you’ve always wondered what love is.
and looking at jimin’s face, he looks like love, jimin feels like love too, jimin feels like something you want to fall in deeper for.
it’s like jimin is love itself.
and you have your answer right there in front of you, love isn’t some grand gesture that ends in happy tears, love also isn’t what they show in the movies, but love is definitely the out of the world feeling you expected it to be, and you’ve learned what love is, love is jimin.
love is your jimin.
omg too feet tied was so heartbreaking 💔 i loved it 😭 would you consider writing a part 2 ? kinda wanna see how everything ends up when Jimin realizes he kinda mistook obsession for love
im so so glad u liked it !! it always makes me happy when people enjoy my work, as for a part 2, im not sure if i will ever do it because at the end, what i intended for is that jimin is okay with this obsession and he chooses to let love go. im sure everyone understood it differently but hope that you enjoyed it all the same ! thank you for reading <3
fic authors rec !
i was tagged by @ahundredtimesover thank you so much for this, i rarely ever look back at my works or think about them, but this gave me an opportunity to appreciate the work i've put into them <3
1. blossom
it was the first ever fic ive written in completion, it has its flaws but writing it made me feel free. writing about two people falling in love (with a few cliché's here and there) really made me wonder about what love truly is, i still don't have the answer but i'm gonna write till i understand it. blossom is my first baby and it will always be special to me.
2. i believe
when i started writing this, i felt stuck, i didn't know what i wanted to do with the story but even if it took time, even if it drove me crazy sometimes, i love this fic a lot. it was really worth all the all-nighters for me.
3. two feet tied
this was hard to write, i never wrote about such negative emotions before and i never really made any of my characters look bad but i tried it for the first time in this, and this fic is probably my most perfect one, at least to me. it's easily the favourite fic i've written so far.
4. belated love letter / hell in heaven
help i couldnt pick one T_T because both of these are my most emotion-packed fics and they really made me sad just writing them. these two are heartbreaking and as sadistic as it sounds, it was cathartic to write about the pain of loving.
5. dead of the night
this two-part fic challenged me as a writer, it was the first request i ever got and i never thought of hybrid fics and frankly, i still don't quite get them but upon request, i did my research i put my all into writing this demon!jk fic and i am proud of myself for not backing just cause it was different to what i wrote.
this was very lovely for me, i don't think i realized how much love and care i held for my fics until today so again thank you @ahundredtimesover i hope you continue to enjoy my work <3
this will be getting a drabble which will be placed in the future because a lot of you were asking for it and i am also excited to write a bright future for this mc❤️
two feet tied - p.jm.
genre: fluff at the beginning, angst, deals with infidelity in detail (11.5k)
summary: do you think of love when the world is at your fingertips? or a story in which jimin dances on the dangerously thin line between love and obsession.
note: i do not mean to romanticize or glorify cheating in any manner, take this as a work of fiction only.
all works in the series can be real individually.
masterlist series masterlist (colors!universe)
“we’ll announce the leads now, please come forward if your name is called, and if not, better luck next time” is a simple sentence really.
but your heart wrenched uncomfortably in your chest as you anxiously waited for the results. it was not like your entire life and career depended on those names.
you couldn’t stand still, neither could jimin as your hands wrung behind your backs and your weights kept shifting from one foot to another.
this is it.
Keep reading
tethered - p.jm. (drabble)
genre: angst, closure (2.5k)
summary: jimin’s a shell of the person he used to be but you breath life to him, as you always do.
og fic - two feet tied
masterlist
note: this is a highly-requested drabble for my fic, two feet tied, i recommend reading this after the fic as it makes more sense that way, i hope you enjoy reading as always <3
jimin was worlds away from the life he used to live, he was away from the glitz, the glamour, the clenching in his chest every time a camera flashed on his face, and the person that clung onto him, only to rip his soul away.
he thinks of you.
he thinks of you, often.
jimin’s never been one to look back on the past but if it was as beautiful as his was, he couldn’t blame himself for never looking away from it.
jimin had been proud for a while, the joy that his fresh future brought him had him on his toes, it had his eyes wide and his mouth agape as he stared at the world glittering around him.
but his world now, was nothing beautiful, was nothing at all.
and he only had himself to blame.
jimin was no longer proud, he felt nothing at all on most days. he was his own undoing and he couldn’t move past the decisions he once made.
he retired as a dancer soon after his world got too shiny for him to keep his eyes open, soon after hyejin proved herself to be the wreckage she was and he opened up a bookstore to keep himself afloat. jimin wasn’t a reader but you were, you loved reading and telling him every single detail after, jimin’s heart was full when he used to fall asleep with your voice buzzing in his ear and some undying hope led him to the books that surrounded him now.
“should we put these away? the new books just came in, maybe we could display those instead?” jimin had hired a part-timer, jungkook, fresh from college, who kept him company on most days. jimin nodded at the young man who went off to finish his task and he was left all to his lonesome self.
a woman entered the bookstore with beautiful flowers in her hands and looked around. “can i help you with anything, ma’am?” jimin got up from his seat to assist her.
her eyes gleamed as she replied, “i’m just looking for jungkook, he said he would be finished by now?”
you used to look at him that way.
as if he wrote every magical song in the universe, as if he lived on the moon.
“he’s just out back, i’ll let him know, you can take a seat in the meanwhile” jimin scurries off to find his friend.
were they friends?
or was jimin so lonely, that his only companion of sorts was a college freshman, whom he was paying?
“hey, someone’s here for you” he swallowed the growing lump in his throat, which was getting harder to ignore by the day, and jungkook immediately snaps up with a broad grin. “already? man, i still have so much to do” he glanced at the cardboard boxes surrounding him, only to turn around to face jimin with puppy eyes.
jimin cursed under his breath. “fine, you can leave now.” he regrettably gives the younger man permission, who jumps up, gives jimin a hurried hug, and runs out of the store room. he hears loud giggles and sounds of happiness pouring in through the creak jungkook left in the door.
it filled jimin with an empty bitterness.
was he going to remain this way, a witness to love that he ruined for himself?
jimin was going to be in for a long night, he sighed as he rummaged through the boxes, he shouldn’t have let jungkook go but after seeing those two, the sheer excitement of seeing someone they loved was explosive and hard to not admire, jimin was left with no choice at all.
he’s felt lonely for the past year, it came in waves to him, some shorter ones that he was grateful for and some larger ones that took him away.
today, was a larger one that drowned jimin and he had no energy to float himself on the surface.
“hello?” he heard a faint voice from the front of the bookstore, jimin blinked away the tears he didn’t know were gathering in his eyes. he wiped at them furiously before rubbing the traces of all of his sadness on his apron.
“coming” he hated how his voice broke, how it felt so weak. jimin clenched his fists at his sides in an attempt to ground himself as he walked out to greet his customer.
“what can i help yo-“ his steps paused.
hell, his entire world paused.
jimin had never felt this mixture of continuous punches to the gut and the breath of sweet, fresh air that filled his every crevice.
“jimin?” he could hear you. he could see you. he could see all of you, so alive, so beautiful, you had your head held high while you cautiously examined him.
but jimin couldn’t speak a word.
humiliation rushed into his gut and twisted him inside out, he wanted to run away but he wanted to also just stand here and look at you.
look at everything he could’ve had but was too stupid to let it all go.
“it really is you, wow” you didn’t look happy to see him, which was expected and jimin shouldn’t have thought otherwise even his heart jumped at the chance for a second there. you turned away from him to face the counter while he kept shuffling his feet, he hadn’t imagined a day when he would see you again.
he knew he didn’t deserve to see you again.
“i didn’t think i would see you again” jimin admitted, finally stepping behind the counter to face you. your face stretched into a grim smile at his admission, one that was unexplainable.
you had never thought such a day would come either. you had never thought you would see the man you loved for all of your youth, stand before you so defeatedly.
but a part of you, a sick, deep part of you was satisfied with his state. he had betrayed you, and hurt you in unimaginable ways while you fought to keep your relationship with him alive.
so, even if it made you a bitter or petty person, you were glad he wasn’t all fantastic.
“how have you been?” you didn’t voice your own disbelief at meeting him, he shrugged at your questions, “better on some, worse on some.” his eyes drank you in for all of two seconds, you had just always been so beautiful and jimin knew he would always grieve the loss of you in his life.
you looked up and his head involuntarily dipped in shame again. he couldn’t look you in the eye after what he did to you.
“this is my shop by the way, bought it around a year ago” jimin tried to sound breezy as he showed you the shop but his heart was starting to cripple with you in front of him. “it’s a cute shop, i never thought i’d see you own a bookstore.” jimin was just thanking the stars in the sky that you weren’t pretending to not know him at all.
that’s a wound he would never heal from.
“i came in for the new ‘dark verse’ series book, do you happen to have it?” you asked him and jimin perked up, he definitely saw that book in the back.
but they weren’t to be sold for another week.
“i think it’s in the back” he rushed off to the storeroom and slammed the door behind him. jimin let his body fall on the door as everything came rushing to him.
you and him, the black swan audition.
him as the black swan.
hyejin.
the practice.
the lies.
the cameras.
the tears in your eyes.
the roses that fell around your shoes.
the image was burned onto him, onto his very soul, when hyejin had gripped his arm too tight, when your eyes met his and he felt the slash of pain run through his spine, the roses that crumbled in your hold.
that night when he was on top of the world after his best performance but your teary eyes kept him on solid ground, where he was nothing but a cheater.
he should have pushed hyejin away, he should have run after you and saved whatever he could, or at least, beg you for forgiveness.
now, it was too late and jimin was no one to offer himself to you.
“hey, it’s okay if you can’t find it, i know that the release isn’t for a while” your voice came from the other side of the door as a gentle knock echoed around jimin’s lonely form.
he rushed over to the boxes, almost toppling over them, and snapped the door open in panic, an overwhelming fear took over him that you will say that and leave.
your eyes grew wide as you took in jimin’s flushed state and tired eyes.
you almost felt sorry for him.
almost.
“are you okay?” your hands clenched at your sides because you know you shouldn’t reach out and comfort him, not when he left you the way he did. he stiffly nodded, thrusting the book towards your direction.
it was the limited-edition version with a rare bookmark tucked into it.
it was for collectors and when you were together, you had always complained to him about how quickly these versions get sold out.
“of course, is that what you wanted?” his throat was heavy and he was struggling to speak, something you noticed immediately.
you had wanted him to suffer but not to this point, you couldn’t even see a bit of the confident, loveable jimin you knew, in the man who stood in the doorway.
“it is, jimin. thank you” you looked at the book with the intricate cover instead of the boring paperback one with more resignation than excitement. you had nothing to say to jimin even if you wanted to but seeing him in the state he was, you couldn’t help but extend a hand to him.
“we should talk, jimin.” you declare and he nods, unlike you, he had way too much to say. you walked past him into the store room and made yourself comfortable on the floor, patting the spot next to you for him to occupy.
jimin stared at the spot, your hands tapping it, and felt the clenching in his chest loosen an inch. he sat down without a word and kept enough distance to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable.
“i heard about your retirement” you started and jimin shamefully admitted with a nod, that he indeed let go of the one thing that brought life in him. “i couldn’t do it anymore” his voice was low and weak which twinged your heart.
“the dancing or the rest of it?” he knew what you meant, you didn’t mean the stage where jimin lived and died, you meant the cameras that had hurt his eyes and the woman who ruined him.
“the rest of it.” you hummed, picking on lint on your jacket as you contemplated how much you wanted to tell him. jimin constantly eyed you from his periphery, wondering which words of yours would be the last he hears, which line would be your goodbye to him.
“i was shocked when i heard about it, i never thought you would give up dancing, not after becoming black swan” you decided this was going to be the last time you ever talk to him, so you might as well lay it all out.
“i couldn’t do it without you, and i’m not saying this to make you stay, i know you deserve much better. i just needed you to know, that you were the reason i was half the man i was” jimin’s chest continued to free itself slowly from the cage it locked itself in and you blinked away tears as rushes of memories from your early days came back to you.
you hadn’t expected jimin to be so honest.
“how long did it go on?”
jimin faltered, he almost forgot that you knew nothing about the cheating itself.
“3 months” he gave you the definitive answer you deserved.
“oh.” you couldn’t say anything else as it dawned on you that it was for longer than you had thought. you didn’t like that it made you sad again.
“what do you do these days?” jimin was genuinely curious about the life you led now, he was sure you were doing something great, you were always destined for it.
you hesitated for a minute, “i am set to be the director for this year’s black swan.”
you pursed your lips and waited for his reaction; a burst of bitter laughter, a sneer, anger, irritation, embarrassment, these were all reactions you expected but maybe a bit of the jimin you knew still was buried in him.
because his face stretched to the biggest, sweetest smile you have seen from him.
your heart fluttered a bit.
that was the smile you had fallen in love with all those years ago.
jimin, on the other hand, though he knew the irony of the situation and what it meant, couldn’t help but feel his pride brimming.
“i’m so, so proud of you. i always knew you would do something big” his words were genuine, with sparkling eyes that twitched a smile on your face too.
you just wish it hadn’t been like this, not in the storeroom of jimin’s crumbled future, you wished it had been all that time ago, on that stage when you directed for the first time, that jimin had smiled this way.
jimin was your day one, your partner for years, he saw every painful thing in the industry that you did and pulled you out of many down days. so, hearing him say he’s proud even after everything, warmed your heart with the closure you wanted.
your eyes stayed on each other with small, unsure but unstoppable smiles on your face as all the time you spent together tunneled around you.
you were afraid that if you stayed in this room for a little more, you would fall in love again and that was not something you wanted.
and whatever jimin was scared of came true.
“i should get going” you got up slowly, dusting your clothes and taking your bag and jimin’s heart sank but the lightness in his body stayed.
“let me walk you out” jimin followed you out of the room, and you walked as slowly as you could to the front door.
jimin watched with silent steps as you turned around to see him.
possibly for the last time.
and he still had too much to say.
“thank you for not pretending that we’re strangers even if i deserve it,” his words stopped you from leaving, “thank you for trying all that time ago, and no amount of apologies from me will make up for the shit i did, so take care of yourself and please remember that before everything, i still loved you the most.”
i still love you the most.
jimin bit his tongue from saying that, it wasn’t fair on you for him to say that after what he did.
you blinked back the tears that were barely holding onto your lashes since you saw jimin again. you hadn’t realized you had much to say too.
“we will never be strangers, jimin. i loved you for half my life, i cannot ever think of you as a stranger but i don’t think i’ll ever meet you again, it doesn’t mean i don’t wish you well, please take care of yourself, you are so much more than this.” you stepped forward shakily and pressed a weak kiss to his cheeks that were stained with tears too.
you begged your lips to forget his skin.
and jimin clenched his fists by his sides to prevent himself from engulfing you in one, final hug.
instead, he just smiled with teary, sparkling eyes as you stepped away from him with a smile as well, and disappeared into the evening.
both of you were meant for more than this but he messed up and now, you both had to say goodbye to the one you loved the most. jimin will always grieve the potential your love had, the memories you could’ve made even more of but instead of grieiving with regret, he will grieve with fondness.
your situation wasn’t fair but jimin was glad that he could have this closure with you, that you departed with the goodbye you deserved.
he no longer felt his chest would snap in two or that his eyes were aching.
he breathed in the air around him and imprinted your words into his heart.
he was more than this and jimin was going to make something of himself, because you gave him the courage he needed, as you always did.
and no matter how many years pass, he will remember how he loves you and how you were the best part of his life.
jimin, as he stepped back into his storeroom, didn’t feel that his feet were tied to his guilt and he hummed happily while setting the books aside, paying special attention to the one you asked for.
he decided he was going to take his dear companion jungkook for a dinner and then tell him that the store is closing and that the younger guy was always welcome in his life.
jimin was going to dance again.
for the memory of you.
i have died - p.jm.
genre: angst, mild fluff (7.1k) royal au! (mentions of blood, fighting and all information might not be accurate to history.)
summary: jimin knows his queen has a heart, he's known it since he set eyes on her, even if rumours whispered that she was cold, calculated, merciless, jimin held on, his queen had a heart.
masterlist
-
to be a queen, was to be powerful, they said.
it was to be graceful yet stern, commanding but caring, soft but strong, beautiful but not so much, that it took away from your strength.
to be a queen, was to be miserable, you said.
you sat on your throne, with the burden of the world on your shoulders and not a touch from someone else to cure it or take it away. your arms stayed firmly on your lap as you tried to concentrate on your advisor’s words.
“war is upon us, your majesty, everyone’s saying it.” he gestured to the court filled with old men, greedy old men who were waiting for you to slip up.
“on what basis, did you make this conclusion?” you tried to stay calm, even if a shiver went down your spine and your hands started sweating.
you knew war was going to descend on your kingdom any day now, your parents warned out about it when you were still a kid, you had been preparing for this your whole life, but it didn’t stop the nightmares, chills, or fear. war would devastate your kingdom, it would run your people and resources dry and as the queen, you were expected to stop this devastation.
“do you not see what is happening in your kingdom, your majesty?” one of the old men sneered at you as their hands tweaked their mustaches and your patience almost gave out.
beside you, your general, park jimin, tightened his hand on his sword, ready to slay the man on your command. you lift a hand in his direction, showing a sliver of your patience, and he brings his hand back down.
“i do know about the riots and the grains,” you started, leaning forward, “i also know about the affairs.” you stared pointedly at the old man, whose eyebrow started sweating as you stood up.
“be careful with how you speak to me, or i will not hesitate to tie you up and throw you in the middle of a bloody riot.” you stormed out of the room with park jimin hot on your tail, concealing his smile and an audible hush resounded around you as you walked out to the barren land.
you weren’t known as the heartless queen for no reason, you were merciless, with whomever you deemed deserved to be treated that way and you knew it wasn’t fair, but as a queen, you could care less about being fair.
“should i ready the swords, your majesty?” jimin spoke and you nodded, turning and disappearing into a room to change. you hastily undid the layers of clothing you wore, feeling more and more air enter your chest as you stood naked in front of the long mirror covering the wall.
scars from many wars ago littered your chest, thighs, and arms, you wanted to pile on all the layers of your clothing back on your beaten body.
you pushed the layers away instead, a queen shouldn’t worry about battle scars, she should celebrate them. you got your armor and boots on, feeling better when everything was covered, and stepped out.
but a sight made you stop in your tracks.
across the practice field, were two lovers, oblivious to the world, hiding away from the world under a sheer curtain, the women were holding back their smiles as they stroked each other’s cheeks, leaning into each other but leaning away, as if a magnetic pushed them close and far. one of them reached out and kissed the other’s cheek, your hand instinctively reached to your cheek, unconsciously patting the area.
never a kiss.
never has a kiss ever touched your skin.
never has a touch from someone you loved, left a ghost on your skin, like your scars did.
across the practice field, jimin’s worried eyes saw your hands stroking your cheeks, his gaze followed your line of sight to see the poorly concealed lovers, his heart twisted as he watched you push your hands away and a grimace fell on your face. jimin had never seen a smile on his queen’s face but with the role you had, he knew you didn’t have much to smile about.
“your majesty, they are ready!” he yelled, capturing your attention, away from the lovers who brought tears to your eyes. your eyes snapped to his and the vulnerability disappeared, a hardness settled in them again and jimin wished that he let you stay lost in your vulnerability for a little more.
you grabbed your sword and protective gear, struggling to put on the headpiece as you always did, jimin stepped up and snapped it into place, it was the only thing you let him do for you.
and jimin looked forward to it every day.
you fell into a rhythm, jimin was a formidable opponent, never letting you be distracted for too long, which was relieving. the sounds of swords clanging, boots kicking the sand up, and heavy breathing drowned out everything else for you.
your eyes stayed laser-focused on jimin’s movements, they were natural, clean, and sharp, and so were his father’s.
you had known jimin your whole life when he was still just a kid and learning from his father, who was your father’s general, when he followed his mom around, who followed your mum around.
his parents weren’t alive now, nor were yours.
someday, you were ten years old, your parents had left for another town and never returned, and you had to be a queen while still not understanding what death was and why it had taken your parents, jimin’s parents protected you until an unknown disease took the two of them as well.
jimin’s sword hit yours, bringing you back to the present, where you had no one to love nor protect but jimin did, jimin always knew he would protect you.
you swung back, twisting your leg to bend and hit the armor covering his stomach, he recoiled at the contact and you smirked underneath your headgear. this continued, you played the dance of defense and offense, and soon, you ripped the headpiece to force some air into your body.
“i’ll be going now.” you walked out, without looking back and jimin nodded, dropping his sword, wordlessly watching you leave.
somewhere, between being a queen while still being a child and losing everyone you loved, you had forgotten to care for another person, and between protecting you since he was a teenager and losing everyone he loved, jimin had only grown more determined to care with all the heart in him.
that was the difference between you and jimin, you lost your heart and he gained a second one. and naturally, you two never spoke anymore but jimin had always wanted to tell you about his second heart, that it beat for you, even if it meant that his head would be at the end of your sword.
-
the talk of war kept spreading throughout the kingdom and your palace became louder, so did your heartbeat in your ears, so did your sword hitting jimin’s, and so did your internal cries for help.
you marked the map as you circled it, checking entries, exits, and secret pathways that could leave you vulnerable to the enemies.
“seal the exits, don’t allow goods transport till the next week, we will put up announcements when it can be resumed, station two guards at every secret route and give them our best guns, station one guard at each entry and exit, make sure meals reach them from time-to-time and distribute palace supplies to the people, without good transport, they won’t be making money” commands flowed easily out of you, you took every advisor’s bullshit advice and decided to ignore it at all, you came up with the most efficient plan you could.
“should we seal them tonight, your majesty?” jimin stepped forward and you nodded, “tonight would be best, we have to protect ourselves before we regret it. and later, i need to discuss battle strategies with you, keep that in mind.” jimin bowed to you and stepped back as the advisors argued with you.
he watched with a smirk as you calmly explained how miserable their plans were, he watched as you put all of them in their places and left the room, leaving the air of your power lingering in the room.
“she’s just as arrogant as her father” the same old man who had questioned your knowledge of the kingdom in the court, turns his nose up with a nasty sneer on his face. jimin feels his skin start to burn in anger when he hears the noises of agreement from the others.
“she’s even worse, at least her father was a capable ruler, she’s just arrogant and nothing else,” another one adds with a smirk, and everyone laughs at the comment, jimin wonders how you hold onto your patience with these men.
“she’s not even beautiful enough to be arrogant, did you see the scars covering her arms? no wonder she isn’t married” they continued to add snide comments, sipping their drinks and doing everything but be the advisors they are.
a slam on the wooden table startles them all, liquid jumping out of their cups and onto the floors, they all turn to see jimin’s eyes burning holes into them as his hands twitch on the table.
“one more word about our queen and i will personally wield the sword that chops your necks off.” jimin says calmly, though his fury is poorly contained. the advisors quirked an eyebrow at him, “who do you think you are? you are a general, not the queen’s lapdog, behave.”
another one piped up to reprimand him, “you are no one to lay a hand on any of us, learn your place, or we will make you.”
a dark chuckle bubbled out of jimin as he quickly realized if given the chance, he would take the lives of everyone in this room in a heartbeat, “my place is to serve her, so if i ever lay a hand on you, it wouldn’t be for me, it would be for my queen.”
the advisors grew wide-eyed at the storm-like fury that brewed in jimin’s eyes as he stared at them, jimin was known to be kind, friendly, and sweet around the court, but seeing him this way, had them all clearing their throats and looking away as a sheen of fear covered their faces, their eyes flickered from jimin to the sword that rested on his hips.
it would only take him a minute to kill them all and that knowledge had all of them gulping for air.
outside the room, you held your hand to your chest as a long breath released out of you, you never left since you heard the first comment from your advisors and even if it wasn’t supposed to hurt you, it did.
and you knew jimin didn’t have to say anything, you knew he could’ve just left the room, this was the first time anyone had ever stood beside you and not against you.
jimin opened the doors to see you beside them, eyes gazing up at him with concealed fondness, your face stayed cold and distant but jimin noticed the tiniest curve of your lips.
he remembers how you used to smile as a kid, wide and with teeth, dimples curved in as you ran around the palace, having your maids chase you around, he remembers the first time you had talked to him.
“get the swords ready, general.” you rush out of the area, leaving jimin a little startled but without another word, he follows you.
-
the sounds of your swords clanging brought you peace, as your chest slowly started to loosen up, though you had to admit that your focus wasn’t great, your eyes kept flickering to catch glimpses of jimin, hidden under his protective gear and your mouth kept opening to say something.
“you didn’t have to stand up to them, park jimin” you muttered, just loud enough for jimin to hear and his movements paused.
so, you had heard.
he was wishing that you hadn’t.
“i know, your majesty.” his arms lifted his sword again, but dropped it as soon as your sword hit the ground.
“then, why would you do it?” you hated the tremor in your voice, it was so unlike you, so unlike a queen.
“i don’t know, but i can’t think of anything else i would’ve done at the moment,” he removed his headpiece to see you, to see what you felt about his words.
you nodded with uncertainty, you expected him to say that as your general, it was his duty to defend you, you hadn’t expected anything more than that.
“i appreciate it,” you said breathily and jimin nodded back, his cheeks attaining a flush from both the cold wind gushing around you and also from your words.
i would do it again, by the way, even if my life is on the line.
he felt the urge to tell you as you turned away but then his eyes caught the royal emblem etched on your armor and he swallowed his words.
“i wasn’t always like this, general, i think you know that.” tears, that you couldn’t stop, lined your eyes as you thought back to the child that you were and the world that you had to grow up in, and jimin felt his chest fill with sorrow because he knew so well, knew more than you thought he did. “i know, your majesty, i know.”
you straightened your shoulders, any trace of vulnerability escaping your body as your advisors passed the field, all of their eyes analyzing and judging you.
“we still have to discuss those strategies, come.”
-
the rest of the night, you went over your defenses again and again, eyes catching fleetingly, accidentally, and then returning to the table with flushed cheeks, jimin was delighted to be so close, yet so far, from you.
and each time, your eyes met, you felt your heart beating again, you felt yourself wanting to say things that had nothing to do with the maps spread out in front of you.
“we knew each other before all this, didn’t we, park jimin?” before you became a queen, before you owned a kingdom, jimin was present in your distant memory, “you gave me flowers.” he smiled at you, images of your younger self flashing brightly in his mind.
“no! that can’t be true, general” a smile of disbelief curved on your face, you never looked at flowers, you couldn’t imagine any part of you that would gift someone flowers.
“oh, but you did, your majesty” jimin cheekily replied, making you shake your head and look away from him, trying to remember a time when you weren’t a queen.
but jimin remembers too clearly, how you had met, how your hands touched him for the first time, when it was all innocence and warmth.
it had been a hot, summer day.
jimin’s mother was busier than usual. it was the princess’s birthday and the entire palace was geared up to celebrate it grandly.
but jimin wasn’t happy at all. his eyes were hurting from the tears he had cried, his cheeks were firing up with heat as his body burned.
he was sicker than he had ever been and his mother couldn’t take care of him, her own eyes were filled with tears that she couldn’t take care of her child but she had duties to fulfill.
jimin sat in the garden, sniffling and pulling grass, refusing to listen to his mother’s request to stay inside as his cheeks puffed up with defiance.
then, he heard soft giggles falling from the corridors into the lonely garden.
he turned to see the princess, her hand in the queen’s, her other hand gripping tightly onto freshly picked jasmines, as she walked merrily, it was her birthday after all. and even as a kid, jimin couldn’t look away from the princess.
she was a joy to see, a joy to hear.
when the princess turned to look at him, to look at sad, pouty jimin, sitting by himself, picking the grass with tear-stained cheeks, jimin wouldn’t have guessed that she would run over to him. he wouldn’t have guessed that she would take the jasmines in her hand and place them above his ears.
“flowers are happy, you should be happy.” you had told him, with a dimpled smile, staring at him for a few seconds before running back to your mother, but he watched as you looked back at him till you left the corridor.
jimin felt the traces of love bloom in his heart for the first time.
now, he sees you, so tough and powerful and as his queen, but he remembers too well how you used to be and jimin fell for you then, unfortunately for him, he hadn’t gotten back up.
at some point in the night, the sleeves on your dress ride up and your eyes widen as you push them back down, you hurriedly look up to see if jimin has seen anything, you wait to see if his face twisted in disgust, but jimin only smiles, “you are so strong, your majesty. i wish i was more like you.”
he doesn’t speak about your tears.
or your scars.
or the fear on your face.
you know that he notices it all, but he doesn’t say a word.
you didn’t know that even if you weren’t the queen of the kingdom, you would still be jimin’s queen, hot or cold, kind or ruthless, heart or heartless, nothing could change that.
and jimin might have felt it when he was still a kid, but this was the first time, that something bloomed in your heart, you weren’t sure it was love, you were just sure that it was because of him.
-
weeks later, your kingdom was sealed, business halted and time as it was, didn’t move as you and your people prepared for the war.
tensions were high, and the kingdom got quieter as everyone waited for any news about their fate, you spent every minute with jimin, formulating and discussing plans that could bring you even a sliver of hope, and every minute, your heart unwillingly grew sprouts and flowers.
“hand over the kingdom to us and there will be no blood staining your land or else, your entire kingdom will drown.” your minister read the last sentence of the letter that was sent over to you that morning and you tried to resist the chill crawling on your back.
but you knew who it was from, a much more prosperous kingdom, a much more powerful kingdom with a king, not a queen, not like your weak kingdom.
you were powerful and you have won many wars but your opponent has colonized several countries at a time so realistically, your chances of surviving his quest were slim to none.
jimin eyed your tightening fists with a glint of worry and concern as your minister hung his head, solemn from the words he just read, “what do we say, your majesty?”
you knew the gravity of your decision here, you could either abandon your land and people, hand them over to a stranger, and not look back, because you knew even if you fought back, you would be weaker, you would lose.
but you also couldn’t turn your back on your people, your father and mother wouldn’t have done that, they wouldn’t have handed your people over, and they would have fought with everything they had.
sometimes, you just wish they would be beside you, gently guiding and firmly telling you what to do. sometimes, you wanted to crawl on your mother’s lap and cry until you couldn’t, sometimes, you just wanted your father’s hand on your head, telling you to be brave.
but your wishes remained wishes, hard decisions had to be solely made by you, whether you liked it or not.
“tell them, they will be the ones drowning, not us.” you feigned the confidence you knew your court needed, and seeing everyone’s face light up as their loud cheers echoed in your court, made it easy for you to say it, even if you knew it wasn’t true.
you would drown.
and never float back up.
all because you couldn’t be the queen your people needed.
you told yourself, that it was justified to give false hope to people whose hope was weathering, it was justified to lie to your court while knowing it would be gone in flames later, it was justified to fake your power for the flicker of relief that passed over their faces.
but jimin’s eyes stayed on your knuckles that turned white, your eyes that seemed dazed and he knew you were lying, his hand rested on his sword as he realized that the cheering people, were all waiting for their deaths.
-
“your majesty, a moment of your time.” jimin stayed outside the door until he heard your voice, allowing him in. you were sitting at the edge of your cot, chest heavy and breathing caught in your body.
“forgive me, your majesty, but you and i both know that you were lying.” he spoke, with confusion lacing his voice, you were always honest, you never lied for the sake of making someone feel better. “about what, general?” he didn’t recognize the strange, lifeless tone your voice had taken.
“that we are going to survive the quest.” jimin knew as much as you did, that your kingdom would be run to the ground, even if he thought you were the strongest of them all, he knew your kingdom would fall.
“we are going to survive it,” you lied through your teeth.
“we’re all going to die” jimin didn’t know why he was arguing with you, but he couldn’t help it, this was the first time his queen had lied and he needed to know why.
“oh general, i have died a long time ago” you laughed bitterly, your stomach twisting at your words, you felt sick, trapped in yourself, trapped in this palace that gave you all of the power but none of the relief that came with love. his gaze softened as, for the first time, tears flowed down your face like a river, as sobs escaped your chest without restraint, as you sunk to the floor with your hands tightly wrung the bedding.
you had died the day your parents didn’t come back, you had died when they placed a heavy crown on your tiny head as a kid, you had died when the sprinkle of someone else’s blood fell on your face, you had died when the people you fought for called you heartless.
you had died more times than you could count, one more time, even if it was for real this time, didn’t shake you at all.
it was dying without a touch of love decorating your skin, that truly scared you. you wished for a touch that wouldn’t unravel you but would hold you together, the way even a riptide, as dangerous as it is, longs for a shore to embrace, you want just a touch.
jimin should leave, his duty wasn’t this, his duty wasn’t to console a broken queen but jimin never stayed by your side as a duty, he stayed because it was where he belonged.
jimin sunk to his knees, his hands trembling to touch you, to let you lay on him and let years of your tears run down his chest, but he doesn’t want to be at the end of your sword, he wants to be at the end of your bed, watching you while you sleep and protecting you from the nightmares that plague you.
and then you surprise him.
jimin’s breath halts as he watches you reach for him, one frail hand in the air that beckons him closer and he follows wordlessly, sitting beside you and watching as your head finds his lap. you melt into his lap, fingers falling away from your body to hug his legs, a soft hum leaves your lips and jimin’s urge to protect you increases exponentially.
it's been a while since he has seen his queen be herself, and he knows as you grasp onto him for affection, that this was you finally giving up on maintaining an image, at least in front of him.
he slowly places a hand on your back, unsure if he was allowed to touch you the way you touched him, but you only bury your tear-stained cheeks into his legs and jimin relaxes, letting his hands travel on your back, his hands burned with love as he rubbed circles on your skin that coaxed more cries out of you, but this time, they weren’t out of pain, they were out of the relief of finally being touched with love.
“jimin,” you called out, so softly even if your voice dried out from the tears, so intimately that jimin wanted to curl up to you and forget everything else, “yes?”
no general.
no park jimin.
just jimin.
“i didn’t lie because i wanted to, the kingdom will die long before the war gets here, if i don’t lie, they need to hold onto something as we go into the war, they need to believe that they can survive to even fight.” and jimin sees it, the heart that your people denied that you had, you had thought of them before anything else and he smiles to the ceiling.
“after everything goes, you will be remembered as the greatest ruler our kingdom has ever seen,” he speaks sincerely, as his hands caress the lengths of your hair, which lulls you, your heart warms but you know it wasn’t true, “no one would remember me.”
“i would, in death and life, i will.”
you hadn’t expected to be satisfied with his answer but somehow, that was more than enough of you.
you always wished for a touch to make you feel loved, to make you feel anything but jimin’s words alone held you together and for the first time, you bore a heart that was heavier than you were, a heart that dragged you down, pulled you down and forced you to accept its size.
and you loved the enormity of affection you felt, especially that it was for the man who held you so gently even if he had seen you at your strongest.
“your majesty, i have a confession.”
“i think i know what you are going to say,” you might not have cared for other people, but you did notice things, you noticed the lingering looks jimin would give you, the smile that would grow on his face whenever you put your advisors in their place, the way his tone changed to something softer only when he talked to you, you had noticed it all.
you felt the same, maybe not as long as he had, but melted against him, you knew you wouldn’t feel this way for anyone else, except the person who stood by and protected you for so long.
“but if you allow me, i still want to say it.” you peered up from his lap with an amused smile, your general was more romantic than you had thought him to be, and jimin hadn’t thought your smile could be any more beautiful than it was in his dreams, but it was.
“you are allowed,” you face him, cheeks flushing and hands trapping his, “i love you, i’ve loved you since i knew what love was.”
you were only just learning love, as your skin touched his, as you sunk further into him, as you felt cocooned by his presence, as you felt his unwavering love for you through his touch but even if it was just now, you knew you felt the same.
but you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, as a queen, were you allowed to profess love for someone else? with a war approaching, did you deserve to love as your kingdom ran to devastation?
you couldn’t say it, you couldn’t allow yourself the luxury.
you just nudged further into jimin’s body, squeezing his hand as a silent way of professing, ‘i feel the same, in my heart that’s beating after a long time, i feel what you do and i will tell you, i will tell you soon.’
jimin sighs in relief, his skin growing warm as your hands desperately try to tell him what your mouth can’t and he allows his body to drape over you, hands caressing your dress and brushing your hair away from your cheeks.
“i understand, my queen, i will wait.”
-
that night, everything changed for you, you had felt so defeated before the war even started but here you were, days later, hitting swords with jimin once again, a new kind of determination drummed in your attacks, you had to win the war, you had to be with jimin.
“your majesty, i’m afraid you are getting distracted,” jimin teases you as his sword nears your throat, with an amused scoff, you pull back to drag your sword on the ground and drive it up to the back of his head, “apparently, not as much as you, general.”
you both spent every quiet night together, in each other’s arms, in each other’s words and he professed his love to you every single day, even if you didn’t say it back, and he reminded you that your heart hadn’t died, it had just hidden away, but he certainly had wedged himself into it and it seemed to you that he would never leave.
jimin raises his sword in surrender, a chuckle leaving his lips once he sees you grin widely at his defeat.
“you are enjoying this too much,” he tuts at you, “i’m still your queen, jimin” you playfully scold him and he rolls his eyes at you, “and i’m still your general, your majesty.” he tips his invisible hat with a shit-eating grin and leaves you, flustered in the middle of the ground as he walks away to greet some new members of the army.
what was this feeling that consumed you, as your eyes refused to look away from his retracting figure?
a fluttering sense of calm danced around you, your usually restless heart had taken a steady, loud rhythm and you loved the world right now.
you felt as if everything was alright, as if the skies were always blue, as if the flowers always bloomed, as if you could fight a war and win it, just to keep this moment alive.
“your majesty!” a shrill voice broke your dreamy thoughts, and your head snapped to see your minister rushing down the hallway to reach you. you hold your arms over his shoulders to steady him as he breathes heavily.
“careful, minister.” he shook his head at your words, eyes pinching shut as he panted.
“they’ve gotten in, your majesty.”
and just like that, the feeling of victory faded from you.
“what are you talking about?” you couldn’t recognize how tight your voice sounded, how your hands twitched involuntarily to your sword, and how the air in your chest knocked out of you.
not now.
not so soon.
“we sealed every exit, minister, that is not possible” you desperately tried to dissuade what he was trying to tell you, he solemnly shook his head, “one of our own turned on us, they gave them entry into our kingdom, and several civilians were beheaded just a few minutes.”
your blood boiled.
for a minute, your eyes saw complete red as your hands shook beside your body, “how many, minister?” your voice didn’t contain your fury, nor your heartbreak.
“hundred and twelve, as of now, your majesty.”
in that minute, you knew you could slay an entire kingdom if you wanted to, you knew that if you were let loose, not a single soldier would be able to keep up with you. your people were supposed to be the last ones to get hurt, you were supposed to be protecting them and you failed.
“i’m assuming, the traitor has been caught?”
“yes, your majesty.” your minister’s eyes widened in fear as you pulled your sword out, “show him to me.”
-
that night, you scrubbed someone else’s blood off your face, and frustrated tears lined your eyes but the red never seemed to disappear, as you kept washing, more and more took its place, and soon, you gave up on getting it off, you had to accept that a part of you will always be stained with their blood.
the blood served as a reminder of the people you couldn’t save.
you had spent the evening, preparing for the war that would start tomorrow, it was finally declared by your opponent in another mocking letter, and providing aid to the families who lost their loved ones, each of their cries rang loudly in your ears even if hours passed.
water droplets dripped down your face as you sat once again, defeated before the war began, at the edge of your bed, but this time, a knock at your door filled you with relief.
jimin came in, exhausted as well, but his eyes zeroed on the red covering your arms and face, without a word, he took a washcloth, dipped it in water, and sat beside you.
his fingers nudged your hair away from your face and slowly, patiently, patted the blood away, shushing you as you broke down in tears in the middle.
that night ended in jimin’s arms, with a clean face and a lighter heart.
both of you didn’t know what would happen the next day, you just knew that you had to survive for each other.
-
“line up!” jimin’s yell filled the courtyard and all the soldiers jogged across it to surround him, “you all are aware, going in today, of the severity of the situation and what it could lead to, but i trust that my soldiers will still give their best, we all have homes to return to, keep that in mind. let it serve as a motivation for you to win this, help your fellow soldiers, and keep your focus.”
all of them were nervous, all of them had left home saying their final goodbyes to their families in case they never returned, but all of them also believed in their general and his words, rapid nods came as a response from them and they started preparing themselves mentally.
jimin gestured for them to move along and they all started embracing each other, comforting words poured into the space and they soon moved away to disperse.
in your changing room, your hands slid down the scars that covered you, after today, you were sure there were going to be even more, but somehow, you didn’t mind it as much. your maids placed the armor on you, tightening it around your body and you bit back a groan.
you didn’t know how many more of these wars you could fight.
suddenly, they all shuffled away, leaving the room, causing you to turn around, confused at their actions, only to see jimin entering the room.
“i don’t know why they ran away,” he said with comically raised eyebrows and you bit back a grin, “i’m sure they must have seen you leave my quarters in the morning.” his head fell back with a laugh as he stepped closer to you.
“that can’t be, i’m so discreet, like a ninja, you know?” you rolled your eyes at him, “you broke three vases just two days ago, jimin.” he kissed your temple as another laugh bubbled out of him, “maybe i’ll learn along the way.”
“maybe you will.”
you sighed as both of your smiles slipped, there was no telling if there was a way anymore but believing that there was, it was all you could do.
“how are the soldiers?” your eyes bore into his similar, armor-clad body that came up behind you in the mirror.
“just right, your majesty, don’t worry.” his arms came up to wrap around your body and your hands rested on his arms, a shuddering breath left your mouth as the gravity of today settled in even more.
maybe there won’t be a way, maybe you will never get to hold jimin like this again.
“before we go jimin, i want to tell you, like all of them, you have me, a home and i need you to come back for me,” that was the closest you could get to professing your love, your words were pleading, begging, even if your face was passive. jimin shakes his head, his hair rubbed onto your neck as he exhaled, “we both need to come back, i’m not letting this end here.”
after minutes passed of just being enveloped in each other’s warmth, you wished you could just ignore the war and stay in this room forever, with jimin, you wished you could ignore the possibility of losing him but the loud roars of your soldiers marching to the battlefield reminded you of who you were doing all of this for.
you were the queen, jimin was the general, and both of you had duties that couldn’t keep you locked in this room.
so, with a pained heart and arms that longed for each other even if only seconds passed, you both parted to step away from each other.
jimin reached for your headgear, taking his time to brush your hair and slip it on your head, the one thing you always let him do for you and you held back your tears as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. you reached for his hands and kissed the back of them, your tears soon fell on them and jimin’s resolve started breaking.
but he sniffed, pushing himself away and wiping your tears, “are you ready, my strongest queen?” he held out his hand with a wide, albeit painful smile on his face.
you put your hand in his, trying to stay strong, “whenever you are, general.”
and as you two stepped out, the warmth of his skin spread on you, his head dipping down to give you one final smile that was filled with his ever-growing love.
you felt scared that you might never see it again.
“i love you, your majesty.”
i love you unbelievably more.
“there will be a royal wedding to get ready for after this, be prepared, general.”
-
jimin winced as sand clouded his vision, he swung his sword aimlessly, hoping to catch his opponent, his ears were ringing from all the screams of agony around him, and when the blood splattered on his face, another scream rang much louder in his ear, causing him to look away.
another soldier who wouldn’t go home.
he whipped his head around, trying to catch sight of you in the midst of all the chaos, and after ducking and running under everyone around him, while slaying whoever he could in the way, he finds you.
a soldier fell at your feet and you took a huge breath, while looking around, only to catch jimin’s impressed face, you both smiled at each other, with red dripping down on your faces.
there was a chance.
you could win this and go back home to each other.
but soon, jimin got pushed into the chaos, and another, darker cloud of sand dusted across his face, forcing him to stand straight and attack again. he couldn’t see you again but he knew you were giving it your all, so he busied himself.
only a few more.
and he would be back with you.
-
they told him that you killed the most.
that you had fought bravely, and led your kingdom to victory.
that you were the queen that they would love and celebrate, even if centuries pass.
but how could jimin love and celebrate you, when he couldn’t hold you in his arms?
when your body was carried into the palace, it had taken everything in jimin to not set the entire palace on fire. to him, a palace without you, alive and breathing life into the building, was not a palace at all.
people held him when he cried, when he wanted to drive his sword into himself, when he would try to shake your body back to life, when he wouldn’t move away from your body, people put their arms around him and tried to lift him up.
but none of them could console him, all the promises you both had dreamed about vanished in front of his eyes and he blamed every single one of them, if they weren’t so harsh on you, if they didn’t call you heartless, you wouldn’t fight till death to prove that you did indeed have a heart, that you indeed had the biggest one.
jimin didn’t have too long to mourn, soon, the heavy crown was positioned on his head, they told him that it was your last request for him to look after the kingdom you had left behind, and once it was on him, he realized the weight you carried around your whole life, since you were only a kid.
they pulled all kinds of royal clothes on him, the materials itched, they burnt his skin, and the gold threads dug into his neck, as if the clothes were his own prison.
as he was made king, the kingdom rejoiced, they were finally getting a king, a true ruler, in their words, and jimin laughed in all their faces, their history would only have one true ruler, and it was you. no one could do what you did.
the throne felt wrong to jimin, as if he didn’t belong, but he knew this was what you wanted for the kingdom you loved so dearly, and jimin would always serve your needs.
he wished, as you had, for you to come and hold him when he had hard decisions to make, he wished to melt into your lap one last time to feel the warmth that ran away from him, he wished that you were right beside him, gently guiding and caring for him.
but he was left with only the ghost of your touch, that would forever haunt him.
jimin still got up every day, he put on the heavy crown and the irritating clothes and listened to the same blubbering idiots, the way you had, and he tried his best to be the ruler you were.
but at night, he crumbled away, dreaming of your touch and your love as he hugged your headgear closer.
jimin’s dreams remained dreams.
Heyy!!! I've been reading your fics for a while and ngl THE STORIES ARE AMAZING!! they're freaking good 🤩 I just had a question actually 🙃 (sorry in advance for being dumb minded but....just had to know) curiosity kills the cat ya know 😭
At the end of the Jimin ff 'eliminated' were the words "eliminated" and "successful" for...Wooseok or........ 👀(I donno my mind's been running wild)
Have a great day btw and keep it up ✨
hello !! it always makes my day when you guys enjoy my work, thank you so much for reading and i hope you're having a lovely day :D
as for your question, it could very well be wooseok or it could be jimin and y/n 👀 i really wanted to let everyones imagination play around with the ending !
love you <3