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Answer Honestly

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Prompts -  “Ever heard of the 36 Questions that lead to love?”

From the moment you’d been called into your bosses’ office in the States and told you were relocating to Columbia to assist the DEA in capturing Pablo Escobar every day was hectic. There was always something happening, a new lead, a new dead end, a new body, a new bombing. Between proving that you could work just as well as the men on the team and the constant disappointment of always being a step behind Escobar you were exhausted and were glad for the short period when Escobar disappeared.

The silence from Escobar felt like a victory in itself. From what you understood the man had very few supporters left, even the people of Colombia seemed to turn away from him as the days went by. Just because Escobar was hiding away and trying to plan his next move didn’t mean the DEA didn’t have work to do, a steady number of anonymous calls still poured in but the workload had definitely eased up for the first time since you’d joined the hunt for Escobar. 

Which left more room for you to sit at your desk which Steve had shoved into the room to rest against both his and Javier’s. 

The bickering and arguing had always been a constant sound whenever you and Javier where in the same room as each other but since Escobar wasn’t active the sound became a more regular occurrence that lasted until the end of your shifts as you didn’t leave the building as much as you did when you were following leads.

The arguments with Javier always began over nothing, there was never any real heat behind the words you threw at each other. Sure the two of you had rubbed each other the wrong way since you’d arrived in Colombia but at the end of the day, despite the glares and angry words, you had each other’s back. 

Plus fighting with Javier was so enjoyable, you couldn’t help but provoke him and push him into fighting with you, watching as his fist clenched and he took a step closer to you…you might not like the man but even you couldn’t deny he was attractive.

“Where’s Steve?” You asked as Javier sat down in his seat, leaning back and rolling his eyes at you.

“Good morning to you too,” he grumbled, hands coming up to rest on his chest, “he’s following a lead.”

The words caused you to perk up. It wasn’t like you weren’t glad for Escobar’s silence but you really weren’t cut out for sitting at your desk all day, you were meant to be out there taking out the bad guys.

“Don’t get too excited, we already know it’s not leading anywhere.” And just as quickly as you’d sat up you were slouching in your seat again, a huff leaving you as you pulled a magazine close to you and flicked it onto a random page.

Javier had yet to take his eyes off you and watched the exact moment your face shifted from boredom to a look that usually meant Javier was about to be annoyed. He barely suppressed a sigh as you grinned over at him, sitting a little straighter in your chair.

“Hey Javi, would you like to be famous?” You asked him, causing him to look at you questioningly.

“What?” He asked when it became clear you weren’t going to say anything else. 

“Just answer the question,” You told him, laying the magazine on the desk as you leaned your elbows against it, turning your body towards him, “Do you want to be famous?”

“No.” He finally gave in, causing your grin to widen.

“Really?” You asked and watched as Javier rolled his eyes again. “I think it’d be kinda fun, no?”

“Why are you asking me if I want to be famous?” He asked but you ignored him and looked back to the magazine. 

“Ok, here’s a good one, tell me something you like about me.” You said, eyes shifting to lock with his and smiling as you saw his face, looking at you with his usual level of annoyance. 

“You’re gonna be waiting a long time for that answer.” Javier said, causing you to roll your eyes at him. 

“Come on,” you said, a slight whine in your tone, “just answer the questions. I’m bored and wanna see if it works.”

“See if what works?” Javier asked again, hands moving to grab the magazine but you pulled it back just before he could.

“Ever heard of the 36 questions that lead to love?” You asked him, grinning at the unimpressed look you received as an answer. “It’s meant to make two strangers fall in love with each other, I wanna see if it’ll work on us.”

“You want to fall in love with me?” Javier said with a smirk, tone immediately more flirty than it ever was when talking to you and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Obviously not, I want you to fall madly in love with me so that I can break your heart,” You told him, watching as he nodded along unbelievingly but you ignored him and continued, “Now, tell me something you like about me.”

There was a long pause, the silence stretching out as Javier looked at you, as if he were actually considering his answer. You didn’t look away from his stare, just raised an eyebrow at him and waited to see if he was capable of giving you a genuine answer…of saying something nice about you.

“I like your determination.” He finally told you, voice steady even if he didn’t look entirely comfortable at his own honesty and when you eyebrows knitted together he expanded on his answer without meaning to. “Your very first day, you walked through those doors and made it clear you weren’t just a pretty face for the office, you were an agent who was here to do a job.”

Another silence passed between the two of you before Javier cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to say something nice about me now.” He told you, gesturing to the magazine in your hands and you nodded though you were as silent for as long as Javier had been. 

It wasn’t hard to come up with reasons you liked Javier, despite the fact you could count the number of genuine conversations you’d had with the man on one hand and all the others had been mostly arguments you weren’t denying he was a good person. The arguments weren’t serious and even with them, hell mostly because of them, you had actually started liking Javier as you spent more time with him.

“You care about people,” You said, frowning at your own words as they didn’t seem enough and like him you elaborated. “If somebody you cared about was in danger you’d do everything you could to make sure they were safe but it's not even just that, you know? Like that time we were fighting and I stormed off and ended up with that broken ankle,” the sound of Javier’s chuckle caused you to finally look up at him, a smile on his face as he recalled the day you were talking about, “we were pissed as hell at each other but you still took me to the hospital and stayed with me the whole time.”

“I kept speaking to you in Spanish because you couldn’t understand it and you were too caught up arguing with me that you didn’t even focus on the pain.” A surprised look spread across your face as you finally understood why he had barely spoken in English the whole drive to the hospital. “¿Próxima pregunta? (Next question?)” He asked with a smirk tugging at his lips and you grinned without meaning to.

“Si fuéramos a ser amigos cercanos, ¿qué es una cosa que deberíamos saber sobre la otra? (If we were to be close friends, what is one thing we should know about each other?)” You asked, watching as his smirk grew into a smile as you answered in perfect Spanish.

“I’m stubborn-” You answered first, glaring as Javier cut you off with a sarcastic scoff.

“You stubborn?” He asked, grin on his face as you rolled the magazine up and reached over to whack his arm.

“But I have the best intentions, even if it doesn’t always work out right.” Javier’s face seemed to soften at your answer as he could only stare at you for a moment before shaking his head and answering you himself.

“I’m a mess,” He admitted, voice quieter than it had been moments before, “sometimes the weight of everything we do, the weight of what we see feels like it’s gonna suffocate me.”

Just as Javier had softened at your answer you did the same with his, eyes widening a tiny bit as a soft smile spread across your face, nodding in understanding at his words, knowing first hand just how overwhelming the job was some days.

“We’ll catch him.” You said just as softly as he had spoken and his eyes shifted so they were looking directly into yours, seeing how much you meant those words.

“Yeah, I know we will.” He told you after a moment of silence passed between you.

After sharing another smile Javier prompted you to ask another question and then another one and another one until the two of you had somehow drifted closer to each other, the magazine now spread out in front of the two of you as you made your way through the questions. You and Javier confessing your most embarrassing moments, admitting to the last time you’d cried and sharing stories of your families and your upbringing. 

People glanced over at the pair of you, the sight of the two of you leaning into each other, both laughing and smiling and not a nasty word to be heard was an unusual sight, one nobody in the office could ever recall seeing. 

You and Javier remained completely oblivious to the reactions of your colleagues, both too caught up in each other, trading answers with each other and finding it hard to believe how much you wanted to know the answer to questions about Javier’s family or what his most treasured memory was.

Despite realising it you were having the most genuine conversation with Javier Peña you had ever had. Hell Javier thought this might have been the most real conversation he’d had with anyone ever and was shocked by how much he wanted you to know his story, by how much he wanted to know yours, completely hooked on every word you had to say and committing the words to memory. 

There had always been something beyond the heated arguments and words thrown carelessly between the two of you, something beyond the looks disguised as glares but neither of you would have admitted it. Neither of you even acknowledged it, refusing to look for a deeper meaning to a routine that had become a comfort, a constant thing you could count on considering how fast things could change given your line of work. 

“Última pregunta. (Last question.)” Javier said, his eyes moving from the pages in front of you to look into your eyes, hating that this moment was about to end and you’d go back to hating each other.

“For what in your life do you feel most grateful?” You asked and there was a sadness to your tone too, not knowing if you could forget this afternoon and carry on fighting the man before you.

Javier hesitated, an answer on the tip of his tongue but unsure whether he could force the words out. They were true, he knew they were but before today would never have even thought to say them. If he didn’t say them though he was damning himself to a life of pretending, pretending to hate you, pretending his feelings weren’t there. He was exhausted with the job weighing down on him, he didn’t want another weight added to the already unmanageable one on his shoulders. 

“Meeting you.” He confessed finally, the second the words left his lips he knew there was no taking them back but he found he didn’t care, he didn’t want to take them back, didn’t want them to be a secret. “Meeting you is the thing I’m most grateful for.”

You couldn’t do anything but stare at Javier. For so long the two of you fought, you argued, you snapped and glared at each other but underneath that you cared for each other. You knew without a doubt that you would take a bullet for him, knew he would take one just as quickly for you. You knew that if anything ever happened to him you’d be crushed, knew it would feel like you were losing a bit of yourself. 

It was like the feelings had always been there, hidden under the surface never to be looked at and yet somehow, with a few questions, those feelings were on full display for anyone to see and you weren’t even mad. Sure you were scared as hell as to what would happen between you and Javier but you didn’t regret that it was out in the open, in fact with the line of work the two of you were in you welcomed the small slice of happiness that could come from this conversation.

“I’m grateful we had this conversation.” You told him, voice quiet and any noise from around the office fading out as Javier shot you a shy smile that you easily returned, feeling your cheeks heat up as Javier placed his hand on yours and gave it a soft squeeze.

“Who would’ve thought some questions from a damn magazine would be the thing to get us talking?” Javier said and it was like those were the magic words to settle the nerves as you let out a laugh, Javier laughing along with you and memorising the way your face shifted and lit up as you laughed, a warm feeling in his chest at being the one to draw that reaction from you.

“So are you in love with me yet?” You asked with a grin that nearly took Javier’s breath away.

“Why?” He asked, the smile on his lips so wide it almost ached, “¿Aún quieres romperme el corazón? (Do you still want to break my heart?)”

Your grin shifted in a soft smile as you shook your head, watching as Javier’s eyes shifted to your lips but he shook his head too and brushed his thumb across your knuckles.

“Can I take you out this weekend?” He asked you, nervous bubbling in his chest, the kind of nerves he hadn’t had for many years.

A few hours ago the thought of Javier Peña going on a date would have been laughable, this man didn’t do dates, he didn’t do commitment, he did fast hookups and not much else and yet you trusted him not to use you for nothing more than sex. It was easy to believe his intentions for a date were true when he was looking at you with a nervous smile and soft eyes.

“Pick me up a seven.” You told him and he grinned at you as he nodded, squeezing your hand one last time before you were both interrupted.

“Pablo Escobar was spotted at the airport,” Steve said causing both your heads to snap over to him at the new information but then you watched him slump down in his chair and huff out and annoyed breath, “Of course he wasn’t but I still had to run through the whole damn airport just to check. Hope you two had a better day than I did.”

You and Javier both looked away from Steve and shot each other a look that turned into twin smiles causing Steve to raise an eyebrow as he looked between the two of you before his eyes landed on your joined hands.

“A much better day by the looks of it.” He grinned and you laughed as Javier rolled his eyes but he didn’t pull away from you as he slouched back in his seat, quickly changing the conversation to work as you sat mostly in silence, sneaking glances at Javier as he spoke, a smile playing on your lips as you counted down the hours until your date.

Who would have thought it would only take thirty six questions for you to fall for Javier Peña?

_________

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- Answer Honestly

- Easier With You

- Haunted by the Look in Your Eyes

- Anything For You

Easier With You

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Prompt - Javier taking care of a sick reader.

Request - Hope you feel better soon, @headinthecloudssblog

When you woke up you immediately knew it was going to be a bad day. You felt terrible, your stomach churned and your head ached but you still managed to drag yourself out of bed, having to stand still for a moment as you fought through a wave of dizziness and took a deep and shaky breath as you made your way to the bathroom.

It was a struggle to do much once you were in there, you spent a solid three minutes propping yourself up using the sink and staring at your reflection. You looked as good as you felt but forced yourself to brush your teeth half-heartedly before splashing some water against your sweaty face, groaning at the coldness, and shivering as your body couldn’t pick a temperature. 

You dragged yourself back to your room, cursing Pablo Escobar personally as you forced yourself to change from your comfortable pyjamas into something more appropriate for work. Every part of your body ached as you changed and you knew you were going to be late with the amount of breaks you took whilst changing.

Eventually you managed to get dressed, the water you had splashed on your face only moments before was useless as sweat pooled at your forehead and you felt like you had just run a marathon in the Colombian heat. 

You knew Javier would be knocking at your door soon, surprised your boyfriend hadn’t already but he was never one for getting to work on time anyway. You took the time to sit on your sofa, letting your head rest against it as you fought against another wave of nausea. 

You were terrible at being sick, some people were able to power through it but you had never been able to do that. When you were sick you seemed to feel it all at once, it spread through your whole body, your temperature shifted between hot and cold like somebody was flipping a switch, your stomach felt heavy as you tried to fight the urge to be sick, your entire body just seemed to hurt and all you wanted to do was curl up in bed and stay there until you felt better.

With Pablo Escobar still evading your every attempt to catch him though you knew you had to push aside your own sickness and power through it.

Finally there was a knock on your door but as you stood to answer it the world seemed to shift around you and you had to catch yourself against the wall, vision fading to black as you tried to force down another wave of sickness.

“Whoa, easy,” you heard somebody say faintly but the words barely registered in your head and it felt like somebody had stuffed your ears with cotton wool. 

You could feel hands on you but didn’t panic, your brain was aware enough to recognize Javier’s touch and you let him take control, let him guide your body and by the time your vision came back you found yourself sitting back on the sofa with Javier’s worried eyes staring at you.

“You good?” He asked, frowning in concern as you nodded, finally able to hear properly. “You don’t look so hot, baby.” He told you and you rolled your eyes before finding even that hurt and instead you groaned miserably watching as he smiled sympathetically at you.

Javier reached over, the back of his hand pressing against your sweaty forehead and you let out a soft whine, his hands seemed freezing against the heat coming from you. Javier’s frown deepened as he moved his hand to brush some hair that had stuck to your forehead back.

“You’re not going to work.” He told you, voice soft but firm, fully expecting the protest that came from you.

“Have to,” You told him and Javier winced at how dry your throat sounded. “Gotta catch Escobar.” 

The words had him smiling at you softly, face showing how completely and utterly gone he was for you. He brushed his fingers through your hair and you couldn’t help but lean into the touch, Javier’s hand seemingly being the cure to the aches you felt.

“Escobar can wait, something tells me we’re not catching him today.” He told you with a chuckle, watching as you frowned at him but didn’t protest more than that.

You must have been feeling terrible.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” Javier said softly and you let him help you stand up, Javier carrying most of your weight and practically carrying you to your bed as your feet refused to cooperate. 

Javier sat you down on the bed, chuckling as you whined about not being able to lay down yet. He murmured something about getting you into more comfortable clothes and quickly found one of his shirts in your closets, well actually he found way more than one shirt and it just confirmed his theory that you had been stealing them, not that he minded in the slightest, he loved seeing you in his clothes.

It was slow work getting you out of your work clothes and into his shirt but he managed with little help from you before he shifted you until you were in bed, propped up against your pillows.

“Stay awake for me, mi querida.” He murmured to you, cupping your cheek in his hand and shifting you so you looked up at him. “I’ll be right back, just gonna get you some water, yeah?”

You sniffed as you nodded at him, watching as he left, throwing you a worried glance as he did. It was less than a minute later that he returned with a glass of water for you, holding it to your lips for you as your hands shook slightly.

The ice cold water felt like heaven against your sore throat and you tried to glug the drink down but Javier moved it from you after you’d had a few mouthfuls causing you to whine.

“You’ll make yourself sick, cariño.” He told you and you knew he was right, you could feel the water already sitting heavily on your stomach. “Go back to sleep, Y/N, I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

You nodded, smiling at him weakly before shifting over in the bed despite your sore muscles and tugged Javier’s hand until he took the hint and smiled down at you. He slipped out of his jacket and shoes before he climbed into the bed with you. You immediately cuddled into his chest and Javier didn’t hesitate to wrap you in his arms, running his fingers up and down your back in a way that had you relaxing into him, already feeling better than you had only half an hour before.

It didn’t take you long to fall asleep and Javier was more than content to lay with you for a while, checking your temperature every so often and frowning when you let out a soft noise that sounded painful even as you slept. 

You’d been asleep for an hour or two when Javier carefully slipped out of bed, watching as you scrunched your nose at the loss of him and he was quick to put a pillow in his place, smiling as you cuddled into it. 

He knew you wouldn’t be able to eat much but there was something his dad used to cook for him when he got sick as a boy, it always seemed to do the trick and made him feel better and so he went about rummaging around in your kitchen, finding most of what he needed but had to go to his own apartment to grab some other ingredients. 

He tried to keep the banging and clanging down as much as possible, adding pinches of this here and a handful of that there, picking up your phone as the phone cooked and called Murphy to tell him that you were sick so neither of you would be showing up. 

You slept for another forty or so minutes before you woke up again, this time it was to the smell of something good drifting through your apartment. You lifted your head and found you weren’t as dizzy as you had been before but still needed a moment after you sat up. 

You could hear Javier faintly in the kitchen and followed the sound, leaning against the door frame as you watched him move around your kitchen with ease. It was a rare treat when Javier cooked, he was good at it but with your work schedules cooking wasn’t always an option and both of you had grown accustomed to fast food and quick, easy meals.

Javier cooking in your kitchen was a sight you could grow used to and you wished you were well enough to join him, the two of you moving around each other as you cooked an actual meal. Unfortunately you still felt terrible even with the dizziness having faded a bit. 

“What are you doing up?” Javier said as he turned around and saw you propping yourself up in the doorway, immediately abandoning the spoon he held to stir whatever it what in the pot to make his way over to you, his hand coming up to your forehead and wincing at how cold you felt now compared to the heat that was coming off you before your nap.

You leaned into Javier’s touch and he smiled before moving his hand from your forehead, watching as you leaned closer to him to rest your head against his shoulder. Javier hummed as he wrapped his arms around you, brushing his hand through the knots in your hair.

“Feeling any better?” He asked softly, frowning as you shook your head against him. “I know you won’t want to eat but trust me this will make you better in no time.” He promised, smiling as you pulled back to wrinkle your nose at him.

“If I eat I’ll be sick and I really don’t want to be sick right now.” You told him quietly, your throat not having improved either.

“I know you don’t, you don’t have to eat much but it’s the best cure.” Javier told you, smiling down at you before he kissed your cold forehead and led you into the living room, placing you on the sofa before he wrapped a blanket around you.

“What is it?” You asked him, watching as he walked back to the kitchen and added something else to the pot before turning the heat down and going to one of your cupboards to pull a glass out.

“It’s an old secret family recipe.” He grinned at you as he filled the glass with water and brought it over to you, holding it to your lips as he had before. “Sip it.” He reminded you and you did as he said, not wanting to be sick, especially when you knew he was going to have you eat whatever he had cooked up.

Javier sat with you on the sofa, you tucked under his arm and cuddled against his chest as you waited for the soup to be done. The TV played some random movie, the sound so quiet you could barely hear it but you weren’t complaining. You were more than happy to listen to Javier hum softly as his fingers traced random shapes into your skin.

You didn’t know how long the two of you sat cuddled together for, Javier’s humming had lulled you into a light sleep and you groaned as you felt him pull away from you but he silenced you with a soft kiss to your head. You forced your eyes open, blinking hard a few times before your vision stopped being bleary and watched him move around the kitchen again.

It wasn’t long before he was back by your side, whatever soup he had in the bowl smelled even better now and your stomach rumbled even with the nausea you felt. Javier smiled at you, holding the bowl, and putting some of the soup on a spoon for you, already having made sure it wasn’t too hot.

You smiled at him before you opened your mouth letting Javier feed you. His face lit up as you let out a soft moan, even with how terrible you felt, with how much you didn’t want to eat, it was incredible, no change to anything else Javier had cooked for you.

In all the time you had known Javier, when you had first been friends to when you were dating you had never been sick around him before. You hadn’t known what to expect from him, a part of you suspected he might've just let you be until you were better but this was so much better. Javier didn’t complain, he seemed more than happy to take care of you, to make sure you had hot food and a cold drink to soothe your throat, happily cuddling you even at the risk of getting sick himself.

You had never been good at being sick but having Javier look after you made it a little bit easier to handle.

-

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Haunted by the Look in Your Eyes

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Angstember Prompt -  “It was all a lie.”

The day your life fell apart started out like any other. You woke up in bed, Javier was already awake and smiling at you, the sunlight dancing over his skin making him look even more beautiful. The two of you managed to drag yourselves out of bed and get ready for another day working on the Escobar case, long hours that saw little progress though that part hardly surprised you. 

Javier had left work early, telling you and Steve he had a meeting with an informant. You had tried to find out who Javier’s newest informant was, you knew it wasn’t his regular girl Vanessa or any of the other workers, but Javier refused to tell you, said he didn’t want you to know anything in case it went bad. That was enough to set you on edge but Javier never budged and you eventually stopped asking.

You had stayed at the office for a few more hours, no new information coming across your desk and eventually Steve and you called it a day, the man offering to drive you back to the apartment complex since Javier had left. 

As you said goodbye to Steve and headed up the flight of stairs to your shared apartment with Javier nothing felt wrong, nothing in you was screaming that this was it, this was the moment your world fell to pieces. Instead it felt like any other day. You walked into your apartment, dropped your bag by the door and headed into the living room.

It wasn’t until you saw Javier sitting on the sofa, head in his hands and a file on his lap that you realised something was wrong, though nothing was warning you just how wrong things were about to get.

“Javi?” You called softly and watched as the man jumped, as if he hadn’t heard you walk into the apartment.

It wasn’t until he looked up at you that you realised something was truly wrong. His eyes were red as if he had been crying, something that immediately set you on edge because in the entire time you’d known Javier you couldn’t ever recall seeing him cry. He also looked absolutely heartbroken, his eyes were wide as if almost pleading for something, his hair messy from where he had clearly been running his hands through it.

“Javi?” You asked again when it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything, your own voice shaking slightly as you were left in suspense.

“Tell me it’s not true.” He pleaded, voice breaking as he spoke in a way that made your heart ache. The words had your eyebrows knitting together in confusion, shaking your head as you failed to understand what he was saying. “Tell me you're not working for Escobar.” 

Your knitted eyebrows loosened as your eyes widened, you swallowed against the sudden lump in your throat as you tried desperately to think of something, anything to say. It was a tense few moments of silence as you and Javier stared at each other.

“Please,” Javier begged, face crumbling as the silence stretched, “tell me you’re not with that bastard.”

“Javi,” was the only word you seemed to be able to stutter out, Javier’s eyes fell closed as his hands grabbed the folder in his lap. “Why-” but before you could ask he was holding it out to you and you took it with shaky hands.

You swore in that moment your heart stopped beating as you pulled photographs out of the folder. There, clear as day, was you sat across from Pablo Escobar. There were at least nine photographs, all from different days and all of them clearly showing you and Escobar together. You couldn’t look away from them, even as your stomach churned, it wasn’t until Javier spoke that you remembered he was in the room.

“You’re working with him.” Javier said, he didn’t question it, he didn’t need to. Right now to him it was obvious who your loyalty was to and it certainly wasn’t to the DEA, wasn’t to him.

“Javier let me explain.” It was your turn to plead with the man now, to beg him to just listen to you but there was a look in his eyes, heartbroken and defeated, that had your blood running cold, somehow knowing that no matter what you said to him it was already too late.

“All this time you’ve been working with Escobar. What were the two of you laughing this whole time about how easy this was for you?” Javier taunted, heartbreak and betrayal being disguised with anger and hate.

“It's not like that.” You protested but Javier just scoffed at you, finally standing up to turn away from you. “It’s not!” 

“Of course it’s like that! You’ve watched us nearly kill ourselves trying to get even the smallest bit of information about Escobar, watched us come so close to him only for him to escape and this whole time it’s been you telling him when to run!” Javier snapped, his words becoming louder and louder as he spoke.

“I didn’t have a choice!” You snapped back, tears filling your eyes as you silently begged the man to listen to you. “When Pablo Escobar comes into your house, surrounded by men armed with more weapons than you can count and threatens you, you don’t tell him no, that’s not an option. You say ‘si Don Pablo’ and you do whatever he tells you to do.”

“And Escobar told you to sleep with me? To get me to open up to you, to fall for you?” Javier yelled turning back to face you, hands running through his hair again before they came to rest on his hips. “That was Escobar’s grand plan?”

“Javier-” You pleaded but he cut you off.

“Was that Escobar’s plan or was that something you did all on your own? What, did you get a kick out of fooling the DEA agent?” He scoffed, trying to shove down the too many emotions that were coursing through his veins.

“I didn’t mean to fall in love with you!” You exclaimed, the words coming out of your mouth before you could even process them. You felt your own eyes widened, watched as Javier’s widened at the confession you hadn’t meant to let slip out but you didn’t regret it, wished like hell you could have said it at any other time but you didn’t regret it. You couldn’t, it was time to be honest with him, you owed him that much. “When Escobar ordered me to work for the DEA my plan was to give him the bare minimum, to give him just enough information to keep me alive but enough for him not to suspect I was keeping anything from him, enough for you to be able to surprise him. I never meant to get this close to you, never meant to let you get involved with this but then- Javi, nothing between you and me was a lie.” 

“It was all a lie.” Javier told you coldly, “You’ve lied to me since the moment we met.”

“I couldn’t tell you the truth, surely you can see that. You of all people know exactly what Pablo Escobar is capable of.” You told him, still fighting to keep your own tears where they were, not letting them fall.

“You didn't think I would have helped you?” He snapped, “You don’t think I would have done everything to keep you safe?” 

“Javi-” You started but he cut you off again.

“No, I would have helped you, I would have burned the world to keep you safe but you didn’t trust me.” The words were filled with hurt and betrayal, his eyes shining with tears even as he glared at you.

“That’s not fair and you know it.” You told him, hurt clear in your own voice as you blinked harshly, desperate for the tears to go away.

“No, you know what’s not fair is the girl I let down every damn wall for has done nothing but lie to my face, watched me work my ass off and beat myself up day after day, watched me blame myself for not being quick enough to catch the bastard when you’ve been feeding him information that leads to his escapes. That’s what is not god damn fair!” Javier fumed, pacing back and forth as he spoke.

You knew he was right, knew you were in the wrong. How could you hold him on the nights where it got too much for him, nights where he could do nothing but blame himself, nights where he had worked without sleeping before the exhaustion hit him, all the while you were the one telling Escobar when and where the DEA were going to be.

You just wished he would see things from your point of view, the one of a scared woman, alone in Colombia, the one surrounded by Escobar’s men, men who weren’t shy about showing off their weapons, all the while the man himself sat before you with a plan to get you into the DEA and promises that disguised threats about what would happen should you refuse. 

But you knew Javier was angry, too angry to even begin seeing things from your perspective and you couldn’t blame him. This was a man who had built his walls so high and so thick as to keep everybody out and yet had knocked them down as easy as a house of cards just for you, the man had shown a side of himself that hadn’t been seen by anyone for a very long time and you had just shown him why he had built those walls in the first place.

You couldn’t blame him for being angry, couldn’t blame him for whatever he decided to do next. You wished things could be different, you had known from the second he had asked you out for drinks that nothing good would come from getting close to the man and yet you had let yourself get to know him, let him get to know you, watched as his walls fell down and yours crumbled for him.

“You’re right,” you finally said after a long beat of silence, your voice broken and defeated as you finally looked away from him. Your gaze fell down to your feet as the tears that filled your eyes threatened to finally fall. “It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair.”

There were no words spoken for a while, only silence filled the apartment. You couldn’t remember a time when silence was the only thing to be heard, usually the TV played quietly in the background, the radio playing a song that made Javier pull you into his arms as the two of you cooked in the kitchen, the man twirling you around, the sounds of laughter filling the space. The silence felt wrong but you wished for it to return once Javier broke it. 

“Leave.” He finally said. The single word, cold and emotionless, sent an ache through your chest as you looked towards him again. Wide, watery eyes pleading with him but he just shook his head before you had the chance to open your mouth. “Just, just leave, leave the DEA, leave Colombia. Just leave.”

You wanted to beg him to hear you out. You wanted to desperately scream and yell at him to understand that you had no choice, that you were powerless against a man like Pablo Escobar. 

You knew leaving Colombia would be near impossible, what with the amount of people Escobar actually owned in the city he’d be notified as soon as you started packing your bags. Yet you couldn’t be mad at Javier’s request, not when you knew it wasn’t out of hatred or malice. You knew that to him this was the only option he could give you, the other being he would have to turn you over, tell everyone you were spying, that you were passing highly sensitive information that people had risked their lives to get right over to Pablo Escobar. 

Javier still cared about you despite how badly you had messed up.

You had known you should have told him. Maybe not in the beginning when you didn’t know him from anybody else but after the two of you became friends, became more than friends, once the two of you started sharing stories of your lives, secrets you had never planned on telling anybody, once you started to trust one another, that’s when you should have told him. There were so many chances to tell him Pablo Escobar was threatening you, that you had simply been with one wrong person, happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and somehow ended up being dragged into a world you were completely unprepared for. Instead you buried it, pretended you were a real DEA agent, with a real boyfriend and forgot how easily it could be taken away from you, forgot that you wouldn’t be the only one hurt by this.

Looking at Javier through watery eyes was heartbreaking, his own eyes were teary though he was doing a better job at hiding it. You could see the way his jaw clenched and how his knuckles were almost white at his sides. After a few moments you nodded, swallowing against the lump in your throat. 

You knew you had to leave, how you were going to do that you didn’t know, all you did know was that Javier wasn’t going to forgive you, not for this, not when you were the one thing stopping him from getting the man he wanted.

You had gone from somebody he had fallen in love with to everything he was fighting against in a matter of minutes.

“I really am sorry, Javi.” You managed to choke out, the tears finally making their way down your cheeks and for a moment Javier looked like he was going to step forward, his hand twitching upwards as if to wipe your tears away before it clenched even tighter and he nodded back, moving so you could walk past him.

It was one of the hardest things you had ever had to do but somehow you forced your feet to move, forced yourself to walk past Javier and tried to ignore the feeling of your world falling to pieces as your hand touched the door knob. You stood there for a moment, frozen as you realised this was the last time you’d see Javier, the man you were in love with, the man who had every reason to hate you. 

You took a deep breath and opened the door. As much as you wanted to turn around you forced yourself not to, not to turn and beg and plead with him, instead you respected his request and mustered up enough strength to walk out of the apartment. The door fell shut behind you and you let your head fall back against it, eyes falling shut in an attempt to control yourself, to try and calm the tears until it was safe to break down.

Now you were truly on your own, the man you loved had shown you one final act of mercy by not turning you over but you knew that was all he would give you. The look in his eyes would haunt you for a lifetime, no amount of running would get it out of your head.

Pablo Escobar had truly ruined your life but you didn’t doubt for a second that he would pay for what he had done. You hoped that with you out of the way, no longer there to give the man the warnings he demanded, that Javier could do what needed to be done. 

The man was going to pay.

_________________

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Anything For You

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Prompts -  “Shh. Stay here and don’t make a sound no matter what you hear. I’ll come back for you when it’s over.” & “You shoot anyone who walks through that door who isn’t me, you hear?”  

Javier knew it wasn’t a good idea to bring you along. He should have just waited for Steve, or better yet he should have kept his mouth shut and followed his lead himself. Instead he had been ordered to bring you along, he knew damn well it was to keep him in line, he was known to play fast and loose with the rules, it was the main reason you had been assigned to the case with him and Steve.

It wasn’t even that he didn’t like you, he did, he really did and wasn’t that part of the problem. You were the first person he’d met down here that made him want to give up his life of lonely nights and prostitutes, the first person he’d actually let in. Nothing had happened between the two of you much as Javier wished it would but he knew he liked you, he cared about you and wanted to do everything he could to keep you safe.

So having you walk into one of Escobar’s apparent abandoned safe houses wasn’t exactly filling him with joy. It set him on edge and he felt like he couldn’t focus properly, ever since you’d walked through the door he’d had one eye on the room and one eye on you. It made it damn near impossible to look for anything useful.

“Are you sure this place is abandoned?” You asked as you lifted up a newspaper and frowned down at it.

“My source seemed pretty sure.” He told you but frowned with you, trusting you and your senses more than any of his informants. “Why?”

“This is yesterday’s paper.” You said, holding it up to him so he could read the date on it. “Your source tell you exactly when they left?”

“He seemed to think they left in a hurry but no, no he didn’t say when.” Javier said and his frown deepened as he looked around the room.

“Something about this place doesn’t feel abandoned.” You told him and he nodded without looking at you, knowing that as bad as he wanted to keep you safe he had a job to do.

The two of you made your way through the safe house, frowns firmly in place as more and more evidence piled up to suggest that the place wasn’t as abandoned as you’d been led to believe. You questioned just how trustworthy Javier’s informant was and he swore to you their information was usually good, it had never been wrong before.

“Maybe Escobar figured there was a rat.” You suggested and Javier’s eyebrows knitted together, his guy wasn’t too close to Escobar but he was close enough that Escobar knew who he was.

Just as Javier was about to say something the roar of more than one engine could be heard from outside and you and Javier’s head shot around to face each other, your wide eyes staring back at him as he desperately tried to come up with a plan but he couldn’t see any way out.

You were stuck in here.

“Fuck.” Javier cursed as the engines cut off and seconds later the door you and Javier had come through opened and shut.

“Javi,” You started but cut yourself off as he stepped closer to you and cupped your cheek, bringing his forehead down to rest on yours.

“You trust me?” He asked and you didn’t even need a second to think before you nodded against him, murmuring a soft yes that had Javier’s lips pulling into a smile despite the situation. “Good girl, stay here, I’ll be back soon.”

“Javi, no-” You protested in a whisper but Javier had already made his mind up. His job was to protect you, his purpose was to make sure you were safe. What happened to him didn’t matter, not when your life was in danger.

“Shh. Stay here and don’t make a sound no matter what you hear. I’ll come back for you when it’s over.” He told you and looked into your wide, watery eyes as you shook your head. “Hey, you gotta trust me baby.”

Javier watched as you took a deep, steadying breath and even as your bottom lip trembled you nodded and he kept his smile in place, trying to be brave for the both of you even as the place was filled with God only knew how many of Escobar’s men.

“That’s my girl.” Javier said and watched your lips twitch upwards slightly.

He pulled away far enough so that he could place a soft kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger against you for a few seconds longer, savouring the feeling of you against him and hoping like hell he had the chance to see you again.

When he pulled away his hand went down to his gun, taking the safety off as he made his way to the door. You watched as he moved to leave, a tear sliding down your cheek as every part of you wanted to follow him out of the room.

“You shoot anyone who walks through that door who isn’t me, you hear?” Javier ordered and you took another steadying breath and nodded, pulling your own gun out. “That’s it, baby. Keep quiet and stay in here, yeah?” Again you nodded and with that Javier left the room, shutting the door silently behind him.

The house was painfully silent for a long couple of moments, your chest hurting as you practically stopped breathing to listen out for Javier. You flinched violently when you heard gunshots ringing out, too many to count and every part of you screamed to go out there and help Javier.

You couldn’t though, he had told you to stay hidden and you just needed to trust that he had this, that he could get the upper hand. Your stomach churned as you waited though, knowing that, whilst Javier wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in them especially when your safety was at risk, Escobar’s men were ruthless.

You just had to trust Javier. He was good with the gun, he knew what he was doing.

He would be ok.

The sound of gunshots seemed to last for hours when really it couldn't have been more than a few minutes before the house filled with silence. You held your breath again, waiting for any sign of life but when the house stayed silent you took a step towards the door with a feeling of dread.

Then you heard a thud before footsteps started to make their way towards the door. You took two steps back and held your gun tighter in your hands, hoping like hell it was Javier on the other side.

The seconds between hearing somebody grab the door knob and the door opening were tense and you let out a sharp breath of relief as Javier practically fell through the door. You noticed the blood covering him and ran over to him just in time to catch him, struggling to keep his weight up as you tried to find a wound.

“I’m alright,” Javier tried to assure you through gritted teeth and you just shook your head. “S’not all mine.”

“C’mon,” you said as you wrapped your arms around him more securely and practically dragged him out of the room, knowing you needed to get out of here. “We gotta get you to a hospital.”

“No!” Javier protested, stopping abruptly causing you to stumble and Javier to nearly fall to the ground, letting out a pained curse as he did. “No hospital.”

You didn’t argue with him, knew there was no time for that, so instead you nodded and repositioned your arms so you could help him to the car. It took longer than you would have liked but eventually you were driving away from the safehouse before any more of Escobar’s men had the chance to show up.

Javier had you drive to the apartment complex, he knew he couldn’t risk the two of you walking into a hospital, if Escobar was looking for the two of you then the staff under him wouldn’t hesitate to report two Americans walking in.

He gritted his teeth and leaned most of his weight onto you as the pair of you struggled up the stairs and into his apartment before you helped him onto the couch where he dropped onto it none too gently, letting out a hiss of pain as he did.

“Let me see.” You demanded, trying to keep your voice from shaking but Javier knew you better than anyone and could see how scared you were no matter how well you tried to hide it.

“I’m alright, baby.” Javier tried to reassure you again, his tone breathy as he tried to push the pain down.

You shook your head and knelt down in front of him, a sight Javier would have drank down any other time but right now his side ached in pain and it was taking all his strength to keep calm in front of you. Your hands came up to his blood stained shirt and pulled it up, murmuring a soft, distracted apology as he winced.

Your eyes immediately went to the wound on his side, a bullet had skimmed his skin, deep enough that he would definitely need stitches but thankfully the bullet had gone clean across his skin so there was no need to deal with it lodged in him.

“You need a hospital, Javi.” You told him, this time you weren’t able to stop the shake in your voice as you looked up at him and saw his head tilted to the side like he no longer had the strength to hold it up and his eyes drooped closed. “Hey! Don’t even think about sleeping.”

“No hospital, baby, can’t protect you right now.” Javier slurred out and you felt your own panic rise as you thought through your options. No hospital, Steve wasn’t in his apartment and Javier wouldn’t trust anyone in his right now.

You were going to have to patch him up yourself, a great idea if you actually knew what you were doing.

“Ok, ok, no hospital but you have to work with me, Javi, ok? You can’t sleep, I’ll be right back but you gotta stay awake for me.” You told him, moving to stand up and get Javier’s first aid kit, knowing it would be fully stocked with everything you needed.

“Do anything for you, baby.” Javier breathed out and despite yourself you couldn’t help but smile before moving around his apartment.

It didn’t take you long to come back to Javier’s side with everything you thought you needed and frowned at Javier’s closed eyes.

“Hey, you gotta wake up.” You told him whilst you gently shook his shoulder, watching as a lazy smile spread across his face and he forced his eyes open to look over at you.

“M’awake baby.” He promised you and you smiled back as you picked the soaked rag up and gently wiped over the wound, apologising as Javier winced and moaned. Once the wound was cleaned you rooted through the first aid kit and quickly found a needle and thread, wincing yourself as you pierced his skin to patch him up.

Your stomach turned at the sight but you knew you had to do this, so after taking a steadying breath you continued to make your way up the wound, finding it easier to breathe when the blood stopped coming out dangerously fast. Your hands were shaking as you tied the thread off after piercing the needle through the wound one last time before you sat back on your heels with a deep sigh.

“That’s my girl.” Javier said and you let out a shaky laugh that sounded more like a sob really, Javier’s hand coming up to slowly rest on your cheek to pull you closer to him.

You went willingly until your head rested against his shoulder and he moved his forehead to rest against yours, his thumb brushing across your cheek bone. You leaned into the touch, suddenly feeling as exhausted as Javier looked and Javier shifted slightly to press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead that had your eyes filling with tears.

He was ok.

“You did good, you’re alright.” Javier assured, feeling your tears on his hand and you pulled away from him slightly, just far enough to look at him properly. “Hey, you’re alright, you’re safe.”

“Javi, you were shot.” You told him, he had been shot and here he was still making sure you were ok. “You were shot and you should have let me help you.”

“You did help me, you fixed me up-” Javier started but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

“You should have let me help you back in the house.” You protested and watched as Javier's face softened as he looked at you. “You got shot because you wanted to keep me safe but what if I was with-”

“Baby, if you were out there with me,” Javier interrupted you, pausing to wince as he sat up and you helped him into a sitting position. “If you were out there with me I promise you I’d be worse off.”

“But I could have protected you.” You told him and a smile spread across his face.

“Y/N, there were four guys with huge guns who didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger and I got away with a little scratch. If you were out there with me it would have been worse because I’d have been so focused on you I wouldn’t have been able to protect you properly.”

You were silent after that and Javier watched you process his words, he never wanted you to think he didn’t think you weren’t capable, he’d seen you out in the field and knew you could handle yourself but in a situation where you were outnumbered by, at the time, who knew how many men, Javier had to make a decision and he was always going to choose to put himself in danger before he let anything happened to you.

“Hey,” he said softly as he nudged your knee with his, “it’s been a shit day, let’s just go to bed.”

He watched as your eyebrows knitted together before you looked from him to his bedroom door and seemed to melt as the tension fell from you and you nodded, standing first so you could help Javier up.

Javier winced at the pain in his side but it was bearable enough that he could also focus on how good it felt to have you pressed up against him. It didn’t take long before you got to the bedroom and you set Javier down gently before he told you that you could wear one of his shirts.

You didn’t hesitate to grab one you knew well, it wasn’t anything special just a simple dark green shirt but it was well worn and smelt like Javier, it felt like being enveloped by the man. You left the bathroom and watched as Javier’s face shifted from a wince of pain into a soft smile that spread across his face and you couldn’t stop yourself smiling back.

This was how it was supposed to be, you and Javier coming home together, climbing into bed with each other where Javier could wrap his arms around and pull you into his chest. The two of you should have this and now that Javier had had a taste of you pressed up against him he knew he was done for, he knew there were no more excuses about why he couldn’t ask you out, knew he couldn’t go back to nights filled with prostitutes to mask the loneliness he felt.

This was how it was meant to be, you and him together, with hopefully less blood and needles, but the two of you together in a home that was your own.

__________

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Thank you so much for reading!❤️‍🔥

I love Kitty so much and I never realized it😭 I just love the way you portray his carelessness and wilderness. Can I request something about him helping muse get out of her comfort zone/challenging her to bring out the wild in her too

Salvaje

Arturo '' Kitty '' Paez x female!reader (use of spanish female pet names, you are wearing a skirt, mention of drug use/alcool, beating someone up, the usual for the show), 2309 words

a/n : Another Kitty fic for the fam 😌 i am begging plz someone get on the Kitty Paez gif train, I am this close to paying @yourlocalspacewitxch and yall know that means i'm having a mental breakdown

As always it's the fictional, not the real deal, enjoy xx

‘’ Ven pa' cá. ‘’ Arturo looks up to you as you stand in front of him, raising his beer to his lips ‘’ Sit with me. ‘’

On his lap he means, you can never seem to be able to sit on a chair when he’s in the room. His embrace is inviting, legs spread on the leather booth, his shirt slightly unbuttoned. It’s for the style, mami, he always says, It’s not church day today, is it?

‘’There are other people in the room, Arturo. ‘’ you scold him.

The music is loud around you, flashes of blue and pink lights spreading around the floors and across your face. It is always a bit too public for your liking, when he pulls you down to him and tucks you to his chest, runs his hand on your thigh,

‘’ They won’t tell your mom we had sex before marriage if that’s what you’re scared of. ‘’

‘’ ¡Ay! That’s not it, grosero. ‘’ you cry out, eyes wide. After a minute, you cave in with a sigh, falling down next to him.

Saying no to him has proven time and time again to be difficult because you did want to sit on his lap most of the time. His arm moves around you, fingers wrapping around your hair, playing with the strands. His thigh is warm against yours. It tugs at your chest but you still do it, stretching your legs over his lap, sliding a bit closer to his side.

‘’ You know you don’t have to if you don’t want to. ‘’

You had never been the most outgoing person, preferring to stay in your routine, the things you knew and could stick to, never one for public affection. That is until you started going out with Arturo Paez of all people,

‘’ I know. ‘’ your fingers caress his jaw, ‘’ I don’t mind it tonight. ‘’

His eyes look at you over his glasses, questioning, laughing. He always knows. You roll your eyes, pushing his head away from yours with a laugh,

‘’ Alright, alright, I feel so fucking exposed right now. This skirt is way too short. ‘’

He kisses his teeth, smiling as he tugs the material down your thighs a bit,

‘’ I mean, it does look super hot and long enough in my opinion. I can give you my jacket if you want? ‘’

You shake your head, taking a beer from the table. When you first met him, you thought nothing good would come out of it. In a way, Arturo was everything you weren’t, and what you believed was going to be a summer fling, rapidly turned more serious as the weeks went on. For someone so careless, he did take great care in respecting your boundaries and making sure everyone around you did the same,

‘’ I’m good, guapo. I wanted to wear it, I’ll tough it out. ‘’

You take a sip from your beer, looking around. The second floor of Roxanne always seemed to be the place everyone would end up. You didn’t mind it, free drinks, good company, and the once-in-a-while heart attack while trying to keep Arturo out of fights. I won’t let them talk to you like that, he always shouts, throat raw and sunglasses on the floor. He tends to be quick with his fists, your man, and as much as you wish you could be there every time to stop the blood from spilling, you know it is simply impossible.

You feel your legs slip from his lap as he stands up. He makes sure to pull your skirt down one more time before straightening up,

‘’ You want something else to drink? This tastes like piss. ‘’

You snort, pushing the bottle into his hand for him to dispose of,

‘’ Please, I’ve never had a beer this disgusting ever. ‘’

‘’ I don’t even know why you always take one anyway,‘’ he retorts with a smile.

‘’ When in ‘dumb boys who only drink piss-tasting beer’ territory, do as the dumb boys do. ‘’

He laughs, taking your chin between his fingers, teasing.

‘’ I’m pretty sure this is not how the saying goes, mami. ‘’

Your hand presses against his stomach, pushing him away playfully. The smile on your face is wide and genuine. There’s something intimate about the moment as if the music slowed down and the lights stopped throbbing,

‘’ I’m pretty sure you don’t even know what the saying even is. ‘’

He mocks your words back to you, brown eyes rolling behind his shades,

‘’ You want that cocktail, sí o no? ‘’

You nod, keeping your mouth shut this time as you watch him disappear into the crowd. Months ago you would have stayed home on a Saturday night, you were content those days, alone and with few friends, doing your thing. You are still as content now as you were back then, when Arturo picks you up in the middle of the night, throwing rocks at your window, when he tells you to jump in the pool with him, telling you the owners are not coming home for weeks as he pulls on your bikini straps,

‘’ You’re Kitty’s girlfriend, right? ‘’

There are new legs in front of you, tight jeans and unlaced running shoes. Far from the colorful slacks and polo shirts you are used to seeing,

‘’ I guess you could say that,‘’ you answer back, looking up.

You have met him before, at another party, again all tight pants and unkempt shoes. You can’t remember his name, as much as you try, but you do remember Ramon telling you that he didn’t like him. Untrustworthy, he had said, a rat that would sell us out the second they come knocking. You didn’t realize what he was talking about at the time. They do let him hang out once in a while, something about ‘a big pool’ and ‘free shots’. His eyes are fixed on you, unmoving, glazed,

‘’ You guess? ‘’

Whatever fun you had is now long gone. You take a deep breath, he is way more in your personal space than you had realized. He is a man your age, you can tell, pupils blown, drugged out on god knows what, and with the confidence of a madman,

‘’ I would leave me alone if I were you. ‘’

He takes a step forward, knees bumping into yours. Your tongue rolls in your mouth, don’t bite, that’s what he wants, don’t do it. You can tell how sweaty he is from your seat, nose twitching,

‘’ Why? Cause he’s scary and all? ‘’

His fingers reach out, grabbing your cheek as if scolding a child, lips curling in anger. You shake his hand off,

‘’ Pendejo, I’ll tell you once, step back- ‘’

‘’ You think I’m scared of him?! ‘’

This feels personal at this point. You can tell. Whatever this is, whoever you are, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about Arturo, Kitty. You are not sure how it happens, how your fingers wrap around an empty beer bottle laying on the table, how the words coming out of your mouth sound so menacing, so not you,

‘’ Me tocas otra vez, and I’ll kill you. ‘’

He takes a step forwards and the bottle smashes the right side of his head, shards of glass flying around, biting into your skin. The movement is swift, precise, bullseyes. The music doesn’t stop, but the people around you do, standing still, waiting for what comes next. The boy hasn’t moved yet, head on the side, blood dripping down his face. That shut him up for sure. You didn’t miss how Ramon stood up from his chair in the corner of the room, darting toward you. What you did miss was how fast Arturo crossed the few meters separating you, smashing your cocktail at the boy’s feet. His hands wrap around the boy’s collar as he tosses him over the lounge table like a ragdoll,

‘’ Why the fuck you got your hands on my girl, hijo de la chingada- ‘’

Arturo raises him up by the shirt and slams him back down against the glass table, beer bottles rolling off the edge,

‘’ Why is it always you causing problems? ‘’ he shouts. His grip is firm, eyes wide, teeth clenched, ‘’ You didn't get the message last time, asshole? Had to try and get my girl involved too, hm? ‘’

You had seen your man fight before, how he spilled blood, how his blood got spilled. Never had you seen his knuckles so white, his shoulders so tense, his eyes so dark. You can already taste blood in your mouth before his fist hits the boy’s face, once, twice. His sunglasses are slipping down his nose more and more each time,

‘’ Arturo, please, ‘’ You take a step forward putting a hand in the middle of his back, your palm hurts at the pressure, bleeding. You don’t want this, you think, this is too much, ‘’ Bring me home, I just want to go home. ‘’

You can almost hear him breathing over the music, heavy and deep, using all the self-restraint he can muster. A minute goes by and you have to pull at his shirt, damp with sweat, to catch his attention. Silently begging him once more to let go. He steps away with a groan, pushing away whatever is left of the man. He turns to you, chains swinging, tangled.

Arturo grabs your forearm, his hand is soft on your skin, not tight, not tugging you away like you had expected, gently pulling you to the stairs out of the club. He gives Ramón a look on the way out, grunting a half-apology, half-he-deserved-it speech. His friend just stands there as others slowly start cleaning up after him, you know Ramón won’t accept his apology, as in his eyes there is nothing to apologize for.

The walk back to the car is silent. You can tell Arturo is still boiling with anger, unspent rage waiting to be used. You follow him still, whispering a soft thank you as he opens the door to the car for you. The leather seat is cold under your thighs and your eyes look out to him through the window, he stands still, hands perched on either side of the rooftop.

He is looking up at the club, lips pursed, biting his tongue. Don’t do it, you think, get in the car with me. After a few seconds, he does, pushing himself straight, walking to the driver’s side,

‘’It wasn’t worth it, ‘’ you tell him as he starts the car, ‘’ to go back and finish this. ‘’

He keeps breathing, in and out, hands tightening around the wheel every once in a while. His arm leans behind your seat as he rolls out of the parking lot. He glances at you for a moment, but still, he doesn’t speak.

You take a look at your right hand, there are no shards of glass stuck, but even if the blood has dried out in some places, it still hurts when you close your fist,

‘’ Is it bad? ‘’ he breathes out after a moment.

‘’ It’s fine, most of the glass ended up in his face anyway. ‘’

That makes him crack a smile, barely there, just the corner of his cheek pulling up. His eyes soften as he looks at you, for the first time since leaving the club,

‘’ Will you let me take care of it when we get home? ‘’

You look back at him, softly pressing your left hand at the base of his neck, caressing the shaved hair,

‘’ Of course. ‘’

His hand finds your thigh, resting it gently on the skin,

‘’ I didn’t mean to make you… uncomfortable, you know? ‘’

You sigh, your own hand falling back onto your lap. You play again with the dried blood on your hand, pulling at it. It scared the shit out of you, is what happened. You are not blind, you know what Arturo and his friends do when you are not around, you see the guns peaking out of their jeans and how the coke that they pass around is definitely from its original packaging. You are not blind, but you do care for him,

‘’ I just don’t want you to get hurt, is all. ‘’ you turn to him, forcing a smile on your lips, ‘’ I like your pretty face untouched, I can’t bring a scarface back to my parents’ house. ‘’

He scoffs as he leans forward and pinches your thigh. You squeal, pushing his hand away,

‘’ Don’t do that! ‘’

‘’ You really smashed a bottle on his head? ‘’

‘’ I- ‘’ you laugh, forcing his hand to stay on his lap, ‘’ I did. ‘’

‘’ I knew they said going out with me was bringing out your wild side, but, mami, that shit’s wild wild. ‘’

You roll your eyes, ‘’ It’s not like I’m an outlaw all of the sudden. I was just defending myself, I’ll let you know. ‘’

‘’ Well, next time you let that to me, hm? ‘’

‘’ I will be calling the police first. I am not bailing you out again. ‘’

He groans as he brings your hand up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the skin,

‘’ You really are no fun. I’m here trying to be romantic- ‘’

He rabbles away, like he always does, about this and that, how it ‘happen only one time’, that he ‘paid you back’. You never thought Arturo and you would work this well together, a weird match, out of god knows where. You don’t mind it, you think, you can take it. The wild, the blood, the crazy.

As long as you're with him.