Not Giving Up - Tumblr Posts
It's not enogh to be poor and sad, you also have to be a swiftie without being able to get tickets on your own country!!!
@taylornation @taylorswift please guys! All I ask is a show close to me in a place called Curitiba, in a state called Paraná on Brazil!
Please @taylorswift @taylornation i still love Long Live feat Paula Fernandes and I've been here since I was 11! I wished I had the means and the chance of take a shot in meeting blondie on the 1989 world tour and now I finally have it; it's just so unfair to have my dream slipping from my hands slowly; it hurts as hell.
I'm sorry but this is all I ask for and I will not give up this time!
@taylorswift @taylornation
"Fuck you! I'm still not gonna give up on this!"
Sobs the fool to the Universe
I know everything would be easier if I just pretend to not see their eyes looking at me on their faces with disgust but I'm not going to make myself easier to swallow 'cause I actually wanna make them choke
Stronger than this...
I have never been so disappointed in my life like the way I feel today. I honestly admit that it is so disappointing to be rejected especially when you have put so much hope and energy to get into this. All my life I have never been rejected in anything I sign up for. I sure know how it feels like to lose, but being rejected is something different.
It feels new for me, to be rejected. It is like I always get what I want in life and it then becomes a habit that I grow up to be a person who doesn’t know how to deal with rejection. I guess rejection is supposed to make me feel bad right? If it is, then the rejection must be doing its job well done on me.
God I thought I was ready for whatever the result is. I thought the time was right. I thought this time was going to be my time, but I sure know nothing about what the future brings. I tell myself to believe and not to give up, but deep down inside I know it is tearing me down.
But I know I am stronger than this.
I send prayers from the deepest part of my heart to heaven. I will build up my faith in You. I am learning to understand that Your time is perfect and Your plans are so much better than mine. My soul is growing up. I personally bring this disappointment into Your hands, hoping that one day You will turn it into victory. I bring my tears to You, believing that You will multiply them into joyful smiles and cheerful laughter.
I am quite afraid to write this down because usually when I say something went right in my life the next hour/day tends to punch me in the gut again, but whatever, I will say it: I had a mostly chill day. I stared my anxiety right in the eyes, told her we'll be okay, let's do this (I lowered the urge to obsessively check my symptoms/pulse to the minimum) and I managed to go to uni, finished reading my seminar paper for tomorrow, ate well, took my meds, called like 2 doctors for some questions/appointments, talked to both my grandmas, did some Headspace meditation, and just all in all cried less then I did in the past 3 days. Of course I have a lot of things going on, especially things I need to do for uni, but I try to take it one day at a time and not everything all at once. I will do the best I can in this condition. Still not willing to give up, no matter how much it hurts or how much I cry and say I'm done. I'm not done. Healing is a process. Healing is a wave.
I think C.S.Lewis was the one who said: "Courage, dear heart." Well yes, courage to my heart & mind, I'd say. It's not easy, but it's better to try step by step than to do nothing at all.
- Reni
I need motivation to heal. Let's imagine... if in a few weeks I am able to move my hands again... please give me a few ideas of what to paint then. 🙏 Before the illness, I was painting hyperrealistic portraits, nature, beautiful femme fatales, and super cute animals. Now, I barely type (extra slowly, extra frustrating). But maybe... if you challenge me, I will set it as an aim to overcome. I can't promise I will succeed in painting anything, but I want to take on the challenge of creating a few of the coolest artworks that might inspire me to push the boundaries of my illness. If you want to be a part of my challenge, and maybe even a part of my potential progress - please send me the most mesmerizing idea you have! 💡❤️
I hope this inspiration will re-spark my body to get better 🙏😊