Off My Chest - Tumblr Posts

I heard Kyle A. Carrozza (creator of Mighty Magiswords) is a creep, well i have to say this off my chest that Kyle looks like a redditor who worked for Nickelodeon and Bubble Bass from SpongeBob SquarePants with pickles inside his tongue

i decided to share this that i've asked Kyle an Question on tumblr back in 2023 if he had pitched any shows to Adult swim, etc. before he blocked me on Instagram the same year for sending too much messages to him, what an loser he is.

carrozza moment

Kyle, if you are reading this, Screw you Creeprozza Reddit Neckbeard, for ruining Magiswords, i wish i will grab your show (and other of your "pilots") to turn it into public domain for good!!!

little space rant

this is gonna be a long post so tldr at the bottom for those who don't wanna read a big long text (entirely fair)

the context: in march of this year, i discovered (with the help of friends) that i am an age regressor. for those who aren't familiar, age regression is a legitimate, non-sexual coping mechanism/trauma response in which someone regresses to a younger state of mind in order to temporarily escape from overwhelming stress/triggers. every regressor experiences it differently, and all are valid. some regressors, myself included, call their regressed headspace "little space", which is a widely-used term in the community. i include this bit of information as a reference because i use regression and little space almost interchangeably.

now, this post is centered around the way that regression/little space are presented to the general public. too often, i have seen little space linked to the age play/ddlg community. and although these communities share similarities, they are not the same. age play is a conscious, sexual practice between two consenting adults, and little space is a trauma response and/or a coping mechanism that can be voluntary and/or involuntary. linking the two does so much damage for regressors and littles who want to use their coping mechanism, but don't for fear of being judged or ridiculed by others. this kind of correlation keeps the age regression community taboo, instead of recognizing it as a psychological response to extreme stress and trauma.

regression isn't something to sexualize. sometimes, it's being terrified because the world seems so big and you feel so small that you don't know what to do. other times, it's just wanting to be held and told that everything's going to be alright. and gosh darn it sometimes you just want to color and have a stuffie next to you. it's a completely different headspace, one where the person can't even consent to sexual activities because they're not in their normal headspace. i know this post probably won't be seen by many people, and i'm okay with that. but for those who do see this post, please share it to other spaces where relevant if you can. i don't think this kind of thing is talked about enough, and i'd like to even just start a conversation about this.

tldr: i'm an age regressor who is tired of seeing regression/little space sexualized and linked to the age play community. please don't do that, it's very harmful.

I'm just not that well recently. I'm tired of not having someone else while everyone around me says "you should appreciate your own company" like I even had any other option. People say I'm undatable because of my "personality" yet I never dated before being who I am right now. Saying it just shows people don't know shit about me and they have no interest in learning my point of view, yet I'm supposed to always be understanding with them. I'm so tired and angry. During my whole life I heard I'm weak/fragile/clueless/sensitive/retard/emotive/blunt/unfiltered/clumsy/clunky/inattentive and a fucking ton of other words even if I was at my absolute best, yet I can't even complain about my condition because I'm supposed to always be doing something and being available to people. I can't even grasp the right words to properly explain how much I hate all of them

I'm tired of having to cope with videogames like LoL: WR or Minecraft in an attempt to fulfill this fucking emotional hole. I appreciate the few friends I have and every moment we have, don't get me wrong. It's just not the same thing as a romantic relationship and I'm tired of people saying it's the case. Honestly, fuck you and I hate you deeply. People always say we should aim for the best and women love specifying the kind of men they wish, yet I can't even THINK about having someone who cares about me romantically without people saying I'm feeling entitled. Go fuck yourself you and your double standards.

Also fuck you dad, you're not even man enough to admit your own mistakes. You're everything I always hated and you can't even pretend to care. My mom also has her responsibility with my traumas but she's able to properly deal with what she did while you're nothing more than a pussy who doesn't know what accountability mean

Y'know what? I'll put my phone on the charger while I listen to some music on my tv

TW: depression, su!cide

My sister helped clean my room today. She found a 4 year old end of life letter I had written. It is three pages, front and back, addressing non-family members. It calls out people who hurt me and people who helped me. I didn't write it because I planned on ending my life. I wrote it because I feared depression would catch me one day. I was afraid I wouldn't heal.

"I've always wanted to say these words and maybe, one day in the future, I will."

"if there is ever a day I succumb to my illness, I hope this gets read."

"If I'm dead, please do a seance or something. I will gladly talk with you. Love y'all."

I can't recall how it felt to be so unsure of my own recovery. I remember how hard it was to process a lot of what I felt and how it plagued me for years. It's hard to believe it doesn't plague me anymore; that the dreams have stopped, the vivid memories have faded. Where I am now felt impossible then.

As a system who's identity and number of aspects is way bigger than I can comprehend (hence why I think in hivemind terms) I love using fleets of starships as my profile pic in all sorts of places. And here's a few reasons why

1: I love space *insert markiplier joke here*

2: It sums up the idea of something alien and expansive and varied without having to say all of that

3: it doesn't show a species like a crowd of people would so it doesn't exclude aspects that aren't human

4: it's a conversation starter

5: it signals to other people that you are nerdy so even outside of plurality it helps fellow nerdy people see you as friend-shaped

6: it's just really cool and shows quickly that you've got a lot to you

7: you don't have to worry about people seeing or thinking about your limiting flesh vessel and instead they think. Hey SPACE

8: I just find space comfy 🙂