Otto Babbles On And On - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

So, a serious life update.

I have been working double shifts at my job just to make the hours I need to cover all my bills. And recently, the store I work at came under new management. With this, a lot of people have quit because it’s a very religious, close minded store, and the new owner and some of the workers clash heads. One of the ones that quit was my boss/manager.

It was today that I was approached and asked to slowly take over as manager to replace the one that left. I said yes.

A little of it is perhaps spite. That manager who quit absolutely hated my fucking guts and did little things to piss me the fuck off on purpose. They had confirmed this a couple times to other workers who told me. Not only having them come up to me and say it to my face. So, a little of it is spit, but also a lot of it is to try and help out genuinely as best as I can.

It’s also here that I ask myself, is it worth it? It’s an old mom and pop shop and honestly… the majority of me wants to help run it just so I can pay bills, but this store isn’t where my heart is… it’s being creative.

As an INFP, you can guess just how much I so badly wish to prioritize my creativity and passion to show off everything I’ve been working on… but can’t. With the long hours I’ve been working and new roles at work, I’m struggling…

I’m picking at my projects, many that I have started and unable to finished, and I’m getting little bits done here and there. Last month, I procrastinated so bad it was embarrassing… but I want to make this month better, different, productive!

With all that being said, I’m taking it one step at a time and hope that I can get something done by the end of this year. If not, I’ll keep trying.

To all of you reading this, thank you for taking your time to do so, I wish you all the best of luck and much love.

As a retail worker, I once in a blue moon get tips, but the other day a customer dead ass walked across the street and bought me a fucking iced coffee and topped me that way😭

Bless you and best travels back home, miss!!❤️

It’s weird to me that I feel like I’m at a point on my socials that I was at YEARS prior on my old accounts (that have been deleted or don’t go on and no longer updated them).

It’s both comforting and weird, but making the full circle is sort of satisfying?

As someone who suffers cherophobia (defined as the fear and or aversion of happiness, but for me it’s the fear of becoming happy and knowing something bad will happen immediately or soon after achieving happiness) I have felt this sort of satisfied for a few days now…

I post the positives in my life but yet I sit in fear knowing… waiting… and I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

Okay, I think I’m done spam posting for the night lol sorry for to all that I have burdened😔

Going to a banquet tonight and I feel a bit bougie about it lol

Things like this, especially thinking about the atmosphere and overall vibe, makes me want to write.

I really need to get on that more. I would like to get a whole notebook and just dedicate that to things like that. That makes me feel like writing. One day lol.

My hair has gotten to the point I can pull an Abby Sciuto.

In having become the other manager of the place I work, I now understand Benson’s short temper and rage lol

It’s not that I hate my coworkers, but sometimes we all have blonde moments and I fear I’ll get fired if they don’t do their work correctly lol because that falls on me now.

It also, honestly, was a wake up call for me. Where my passion still is for my art and creative career, I now in a way want to prove I am good at being selected manager, you know? So like, I’m understanding the stress and dilemmas my old manager faced but it’s also a neat challenge? I don’t know lol

But, I didn’t take managers position simply because I was asked. I took it because the manager before me who quit fucking hated me and so- yes- a lot of it was spite, but even I won’t deny that they ran the store well. So to keep some calm and give my coworkers a little bit of semblance of how the store was ran with the old manager, then I felt like I could do it and that’s why I took it. I could at least give them that.

Every person who was my senior there, denied the job. I feel like I’m the only one willing to help the new owner get to where they want to be with the store and everyone else is struggling with change. I get it. It’s not easy. But we have to try.

Also, never did I ever think I would ever have a work husband, but here we are lmfao.

So, the place I work at changed owners, hence my sudden rise in positions.

But in the beginning, the new owner had me fill out an eleven page packet, front to back, on getting to know me.

I looked at my coworkers and confidently said, “I’m gonna write about Bigfoot.”

And I was dead ass serious.

I wrote about Bigfoot, Ufology, paranormal investigating, conspiracy theories as well as other pseudosciences and my passion for writing. I also wrote about my enjoyment to become an actor, director, and create other projects. I wrote all of this partly because it’s all true and I hold dear but also because I half assed it. Thinking they would think it was ridiculous.

They approached me days later after I filled that thing front to back and told me how much they appreciated my authenticity.

So, long story short and the message of this story is to always write about Bigfoot.✨

Got told today my handwriting is basically Comic Sans and I need to write more Arial Narrow.

Which I think is a pretty great comment in my opinion lmfao.

Hi Tumblr, Happy Pride.

I hate doing it, but I’m going to rant so TLDR.

I identify as asexual. I’m comfortable and okay with this. It’s what’s true to me and I’m sticking with it.

I recently came out to my new boss and I was very relieved when she knew what I was talking about. Hell, surprised even. However, she pulled all the usual cards in questioning after that. I honestly am not upset with her, I love her so much because she’s been so great and wonderful, but I am upset with the questions that she asked. And deep down I think she was just curious. Her as a person and knowing her they were just innocent in nature. But they’re the same questions that every single person who comes out as ace gets asked and I hate that they seem to have gotten to even her.

“Did you have trauma?”

“Is it a germ thing?”

No. I’m just repulsed, thanks.

But I am I guess also a bit upset with her for seemingly trying to convince me otherwise?

“Well, there are other ways to feel good.”

“Hormones and biology take over after a while in the middle of that.”

And just. Yeah. I guess for some people. But not me. I don’t want to be a in a relationship where sex is the main thing. And I have told myself that if it’s too important for any potential partners of mine, then we would just have to split.

I am a hopeless romantic. I enjoy and adore seeing others madly, deeply, in love. I do. I crave that as well. I do like physical contact like hand holding, kissing, cuddling, hugging. But I don’t want to fuck you and I don’t want you fucking me.

I want to be able to share the same values, help carry each other through burdens, be there for one another and be treated equally. Teamwork is how the dream works. I want to be able to comfortably sit in silence with a partner and admire how a specific wallpaper’s vibe makes us feel and reflect on that, for example. Having the same interests and being supportive of each other would fantastic.

But I know being ace hinders all that a lot. And I have come to terms that if I die alone then it’s my fault. And I’ll live with that. It’s not my ideal way of going out but if it happens it does.

But I still hold hope for all you other aces. I cheer you on and hope you find a partner, if you desire, and you all live and love long happily.

You got this.