Premed - Tumblr Posts
I just want to go back to the days where I could study for hours at the library or a cafe without having to wear a mask.
Not motivated at all, but if I stop now I'll never get anything done. PS I finally found the perfect desk setup
Have had a cram packed two days and so now all I want to do is sleep for like 2.5 weeks 😂 why is it only Wednesday?
Finally have the perfect desk setup, now if only I could get a better chair but that's a later problem.
Is it just me or does anyone else get mentally uncomfortable if they use a different size pen than usual? Like I’m used to using 0.5 or 0.7, but anything bigger or smaller than that is weIrd. Like I’m currently using a 1.4 and my hand and mind can’t comprehend.
A slow morning but it is what it is 😊
The amino acids will be the death of me
After 2 months of not being motivated to do anything, I've finally found the motivation to get back into studying for the MCAT. My exam date is next month and although I'm starting to get nervous that I've lost so much time I'm trying to stay positive. What is making it easier is that I planned my exam date with the idea that if I have to retake it i still have enough time to do do before the application opens.
Remember, though you may have fallen down and don't think you can do it anymore there's always a chance to get up and either keep going or try again. No one can stop you other than yourself.
T-11 hours til Exam Day
Today I have officially not looked at a single MCAT thing. I took my friends' advice and decide to just let myself have this day. I went to work in the morning, came home, took a nap, bought groceries, made spaghetti, watched Eternals, and then showered. I'm now going to pick out my outfit for tomorrow so I don't have to stress myself with anything else since I already know I'll be at PEAK stress levels.
As I head into this exam I am just going to keep telling myself that I studied to the best of my current abilities and that this was enough. I have had to deal with so much emotionally and mentally, that it is a miracle that I have even made it to this day. Even if I were to absolutely bomb the exam (which I'm really hoping is not what happens) I can always try again. Med school isn't going anywhere and somewhere is bound to give me a chance.
Well wish me luck! And good luck to everyone else during this MCAT season :)
Post MCAT Exam
Now that I have finished the exam I am still not at ease and it's all because it'll be about a month until I can find out how I did. I, unfortunately, but not surprisingly, don't feel like I did my best, I'll be lucky if I even make it to 500. Since I have a strong feeling that I will have to retake the exam I'm still going to keep studying while I wait for my results. The Anki cards and uWorld questions are starting to blur together that words no longer make sense. I did take the entire weekend post-exam to recover from the stress/anxiety of taking it, but sadly it's not over til I'm in medical school and then that's a whole new battle in itself.
While I wait I wish all those who are waiting for results and/or (re)taking the MCAT good luck! You've got this and if this time doesn't work you always have more (that's why we get 7 tries in a lifetime! 😄 )
Family and Education
As a first-generation college grad, and hopefully first-generation med student, family has always been a struggle since I can remember. My parents (especially my dad) have always been on my case about how much I study and whether I'm actually studying or just using it as an excuse to be alone. Am I guilty of occasionally using it as an excuse to be left alone sure, but 90% of the rest of the time I am actually studying. I didn't have them to ask for help on my homework or projects or even to read over my essays.
Don't get me wrong I love my parents to death, but it has always been a struggle to move forward since I had to bust my butt harder than others because I could only rely on myself. When they start hating on me for being busy all the time it truly sucks because they want the best for me, but they also want me to be a great and devoted daughter. I want to be a great student, I want to be a great sister, I want to be a great daughter, and I want to be a great person. But I can't do it all. I've pushed my mental limits to the point of breaking thousands of times. I have put my physical health on the back burner for so long that it's starting to affect me now and I'm only 22! I have had to go to therapy because of doing more than I could, simply because I didn't want to add anything more to my parents' plates.
It truly does suck that no matter how much I achieve and all the things I do that they always find a way to make me feel bad. Regardless of how exhausted I am I just wish that they would understand that just because I can't be the perfect daughter I still aim to be the best sister to my younger brothers. They are my pride and joy and I would NEVER do anything to hurt them, so to think that they believe that I would willingly choose to ignore them just hurts. No matter how busy I am I'll always make time for them since I want them to grow up so much better than I did. I want them to know that they don't have to be perfect or achieve tons of things in order to be loved. I love them unconditionally and only want them to be happy regardless of what they choose to do (as long as it is ethical).
Sorry for all the rambling, but maybe someone out there needs to know that they aren't the only one struggling with family and education. All in all, do what makes you happy because everything else will fall into place.
Updates, updates, and more updates
So after a month, I am here to give two updates:
1. I got my MCAT score back last month and it was AWFUL. I got a 489, which I can now say and tell others without bursting into tears. The day I got my score I was in denial for a while that I had hopped into the shower and gotten all dressed and everything... but as soon as I pulled up the score on my computer and not just my phone and saw it on my 32in computer screen I knew there was no doubt that that was my score. I told my two coworkers what happened while in tears thank god I was working from home so that they knew that I wasn't just blowing off doing my work but had just been hit by the rough news. Thankfully they both were so supportive and understanding since they too had taken the MCAT previously and know just how hard it is. I still want to apply this cycle so I already have my retake scheduled for May 19th only 3 days after my 23rd birthday and I am busting my butt studying. I have even gone as far as getting a physics tutor so I can better understand the concepts. I am also trying to find a tutor for any of the chemistry sections, but hopefully, especially biochemistry.
2. Update numero dos, I recently typed up my personal statement to just get ideas on paper. There wasn't much of a big plan on how it was going to go, all I did was pick the events/characteristics that I wanted to convey in my paper and then just kind of wrote a stream of consciousness conveying my story. I thought that I had written a paper that was going to have to be written and rewritten hundreds of times before it would ever be ready to be submitted... but after my coworker (who has gotten accepted to medical school before and has gotten her masters) read it she was speechless. She told me that she has read dozens of personal statements before but has never had a paper that flowed so well. My paper told my story on why I want to become a doctor and did not leave her just wanting to finish reading it, but rather wanting to read/know more. That it was the perfect paper for interviews since there were so many things that they could pick from to just start talking about and not out of confusion but because they would want to learn more. While she was telling me all this I couldn't help feeling overwhelmed and so happy that I started to cry because as terrified as I am to not getting into medical school this moment helped me realize just how much I really do want this. To know that not only I know how badly I want this, but to now be able to express and show to others just how much I want it means everything to me. To have someone that's outside of my family hug me and tell me directly to my face that they cannot wait to see me get into medical school and HOPE that I get in is something I never expected.
This time in my life is hands down one of the hardest and most stressful, but I won't ever change it for the world, or regret it. I will become a physician no matter how long it takes me.
AMCAS-Coursework section and transcript request
Today I more or less got the Coursework section of the AMCAS application. There are just some classes that I need to see what to mark them as and double-check that I put my withdrawn and repeat courses correctly.
I also printed the forms I need to request my official transcript from my school and hopefully, I can drop them off on Friday.
My application is slowly, very slowly coming together.
Trying to study for my Casper test while having COVID has been a STRUGGLE
I just got my MCAT score back and I jumped up almost 10 points from my first score!!! Tonight I take my CASper test and can now go into it feeling more confident.
Trying to get back into studying for the MCAT since I have decided to officially sign up for an online course so I can get my score higher and well above 500. I'm hopeful that my third time is the charm and that this will be the last time I have to take this exam.
If anyone wants a study buddy for the MCAT or any other subject, go ahead and click the link to join my group in Yeolpumta.
10/18/22 4:07AM
Truly early study session since I went to bed early last night because worked kicked my butt. I just got promoted at work from a research assistant to a research coordinator which YAY for an actual salary! But darn for my energy levels since now after work I'm so tired. Hopefully by sleeping early and waking up early to squeeze in studying before work is going to be helpful. This is my third shot at MCAT studying since I really want to get over 500. I took a practice exam this past weekend and got a 501 so it seems like I'm on track for a March test date 😄
Listening: Love Me Again by V
Hey guys! It's been a bit since I last uploaded something about myself and not something I just reblogged. So here goes a bit of a life update (bear with me).
First off, I got into an online master's program at UNC!! This being said, I start on Monday (T-3 days)! I only have access to two classes thus far, so I've been trying to get ahead on the textbook readings. I might be a tad insane since I'll be a full-time student (16 credits - *cue the jaw drops*) AND working full-time. I will try my hardest to keep working my 40 hours at my job as a clinical research coordinator, but I'm not sure it will be possible. Thankfully my manager is super nice (she wrote one of my LORs for school) and will try her best to be flexible with me, but there's only so much she can do.
I am putting MCAT studying on the back burner slightly for now. But do plan to retake it (for the third time). I also plan to apply in the next cycle (2024-2025) and really really hope that I get in.
Oh! I almost forgot! I am also working on this super cool project with a premed/med student TikToker and can't wait to see the final product. I can't say much right now, but maybe later on I can.
Anyways, I wish everyone starting school the best of luck and those that are trying to get into medical school, YOU GOT THIS!!!! I'm always rooting for all of you!
🎧: The Tide is High by Atomic Kitten
I love how I planned to sleep in a little since I stayed up a bit late working on my Personal Assessment assignment, but I guess my body is used to waking up early and waking me up at 5:30 a.m.
Anyway, since I have so much to do today, I decided to use the extra time to get up today and then started on some chores (washed my dishes and cleaned my shower/toilet/sink). Afterward, since I wasn't hungry, I started reviewing my cell physiology notes. I have a review Zoom session with one of my classmates in about an hour to go over this past week's cell physiology lectures and get ready for our first quiz tomorrow.
After my cell physiology review/study session, I plan to have my late breakfast/lunch and then hop into studying/reviewing for my immunology quiz next Wednesday. If I have some time left over today, I'm hoping to get some reviewing in for my other classes, but I also don't want to overstress myself already.
I know I probably shouldn't start a countdown, but my timer study app has the option, so I did it. I set it to countdown to the end of my master's program in May. So, D-251 until I'm done and can graduate with my master's!
Okay, time to get back to work! Good luck everyone!!
Tried out new pens for my Moleskin journal. There's a little bit of bleeding through the pages but so much better than other gel pens. Can't wait to get into journaling again 😊
🎧: Me Llamo Raquel (in my hype Mexican music Saturday mood)