Self Diagnosed Autism - Tumblr Posts
i never knew struggling to say thank you was such a common symptom! It’s such a struggle, it’s hard for me to show any sort of strong excitement, it just doesn’t feel natural. My partner got me a SWITCH AND 4 GAMES for my birthday and I was so overwhelmed I didn’t know what to do. It’s easier online, in fact online im quite excitable. I do get excited and happy easily, but I struggle showing it in real life… unless it’s special-interest related, most of the time
check out this autism bingo i made :)
the adults around me seeing a kid who couldn’t wear high-rise jeans due to it making me uncomfortable, walked crooked, had a weird obsession with smelling my mothers belly button, was confused and mad when adults smiled at me for no reason, talked to fictional characters for fun, etc…: wow what a perfectly neurotypical child <3 so much potential 🥰
i can’t smell burning when my oven is left on, but I CAN smell the turkey at Thanksgiving which smelled so awful I had to go downstairs until the smell was gone (even tho I was happy for the excuse to not socialize as much)
one of my least favorite neurotypical customs is how long it takes to leave somewhere. My mom will be like “alright it’s time to leave” but we stay like 10 more minutes because people can’t stop talking. We get two feet before stopping again. We stand in the doorway for 5 minutes. It’s annoying and stressful and puts my brain in constant waiting mood.
Yo wait. My older brother has epilepsy and I had assumed his major episodes came from his father.
I get little shiver twitches that last a second. I had no fucking idea that counted. Genuinely thought it was an anxiety thing to feel head-tilt-twitches for a shiver.
I actually have my autism creature irl.
“What kind of music do you listen to?”
It’s very complicated.
I make posts my sized to read because my reading comprehension literally hurts me.
Seriously, I get eye strain if I don’t space shit out.
hello, so I'm questioning if I'm autistic so i can reach out for a diagnosis maybe, and i saw another person do this so i wanted to try it out.
i wrote a list of some of the things i think that are autistic traits about me and if anyone would like to please read them and tell me if they could be autism or maybe smth else? lol, just as a big favour really. I'll give more context if any is needed, thanks so much!!
ts bellow the cut :]
- stimming ( twirling and braiding hair, used to suck on my own hair as a kid, rocking back and forth, doing ??? weird stuff with ny mouth and fingers lol, moving legs a lot)
- echolalia; internal, repeating phrases and songs on my head, but also doing sounds with my mouth
- also, very extroverted as a kid, didn't get social cues and was offensive sometimes
- always feeling like an outsider. This wasn't bad for me as a kid since i was very into creepypastas and media related to being an outcast, i never related it to something bad until adolescence which im still in, and I'm more insecure now about it.
- couldn't and still can't control my strength very well ( sometimes things fall out of my hands or i touch someone harder than i wanted to)
- very talkative, as a baby was LITERALLY born babbling
- sensitive skin, to heat cold and pain
- not good at eye contact, either do way too much or way too little
- terrible at maths (jst not logical to me??? dk how people find them logical )
- kinda restrictive interests but no special interests
- very picky as a child, fav foods were salted noodles with ketchup or by themselves. ( still can't stand some foods and mixing some foods together )
- horrible coordination and balance: didn't learn to tie my shoes correctly, how to ride a bike or how to swim, i bought wheelies and cant use them because my balance is horrible, i run weird (like a baby kind of) and I'm always stumbling on my own feet
- again, didn't learn some stuff until grown: didn't know how to shower correctly or make my bed ( could be due to being very taken care of as a kid, aka my mom didn't let me do stuff by myself )
- bad perception of time
- terrible spacial awareness: again, stumbling with my own feet, waddling like a penguin when i walk with my friends lol
- got upset when things didn't go my way
loud THUDS or sudden noises however startle me, scare me and stress me out: was and still am kind of afraid of balloons, shouting people and loud thuds. As a baby i cried when someone spoke too loudly
- ran away when kids were being too loud but didn't mind big performances loud spaces
- lately I'm much more sensitive to stimuli than i was, could be due to heightened stress in my life: badly done beds make me want to cry, crumbs on the bed feel like hell, heat and sweating are hell, some months ago i cried because my sunglasses and headphones weren't working and there were too many sounds, my head it hurted and everything felt wrong, sent me into a kind of crisis.
- socially awkward and don't know how to keep conversations going, at least small talk.
- don't think I'm overly empathetic, but i have a strong sense of justice and get very upset and ill about injustices.
related to that, movies and shows that require a lot of stress i don't like, they make me feel ill and i prefer spoilers when it's like that, i get too nervous.
- although i used to talk a lot, nowadays i prefer to stay quiet sometimes.
- i get VERY angry and frustrated but it goes away kind of quickly?
-i used to be very loud and I still dont know how to control my tone of voice ( how loud or quiet i am) and i spoke in a very high pitched voice as a child
- i think i had a specific routine of morning
- i used to read a lot, went to the library in the recess instead of hanging out all the time with kids and used some complicated words that my parents didn't know i knew
- all my life i only had one close friend ( not the same, but always one)
- i have a hard time concentrating and being organized
- i make plans for myself in the night and get upset when OTHERS interrupt it but not when i do
- again sensory issues, some foods make me want to puke, and wet, sticky or extremely dry hands are disgusting. Also, light touches feel like anger.
- hard time knowing when to pee and when to eat
- sensory seeker as a kid kind of, slept with my feet up, danced a lot (stimming?)
- as a kid I repeatedly watched stuff, ended up boring my family because i only wanted to watch that multiple times
- don't know if related but i sometimes very anxious, get upset about not saying goodbye correctly to certain people, as a kid i used to cry and didnt want to go to school because of a "bad feeling" that smth bad was gonna happen, could be anxiety.
-i get irritated easily and can hurt people verbally
i absolutely sure there's more, but I don't wanna keep typing
just to finish, most of my circle is neurodivergent. And family wise, my sister is audhd, one cousin and uncle are autistic, my mom has adhd and two of my cousins are suspected autistic.
i rlly wanna know whats wrong with me
does anyone know some good history/archaeological documentaries? :D
Change of plans
There was a change of plans. It's a holiday and actually it always goes like this, that my family meets sometime between 11 am and 1 pm o'clock.
This year they said we'd meet as usual, eat something, but keep it short because there were already so many parties coming up in the last few months.
It's at 1 pm. I go downstairs and I am told we won't meet until 4 pm.
And what do I do? I cry uncontrollably. Forgive myself to my room and hope the crying stops soon.
I had my own little plans for the afternoon. Exercise after lunch. Then lay on the couch, watch my current Netflix series and crochet.
Both things that take time. In order to exercise I have to eat something first because I'm on the verge of starvation. Then I can't start right away because I'll get sick, but without it I'll eventually keel over.
After the workout I'm easier to get riled up than usual, which will only make the get-together more exhausting than it already is. Then you have to find that window of time where you can leave without being rude. Then I have to come back down first.
Means walking in circles and daydreaming until I'm relaxed. Which can take a good two hours.
Means goodbye hobby time, because tomorrow you have to get up at 5 again to go to work.
It may only be a small change, but for me it just ensures that my day that was supposed to be for relaxation has been taken away from me and is only causing stress again.
I'm tired and I'm crying about it. I crack my fingers non-stop and would love to throw everything around me. But I can't. That would be 'babyish' an 'over the top'. I would like to stay home entirely.
I am very tired and I am tired of my plans never being important enough to tell me beforehand that something is going to change.
Hey y'all I was just wondering, is it ok for me to self diagnose myself with AuDHD and Dyscalculia?
I've done lots of research on it and I check off a lot of boxes and I relate to a lot of the neurodivergent memes and characters
I noticed that I get along better with neurodivergent people and a few people in my life have mentioned that I might have AuDHD+Dyscalculia
I really want to get an official diagnosis but my mom could care less about helping me and I think it requires money (I'm poor ASF)
I did go to a place awhile back that said I was "mentally disabled" but they didn't say with what unfortunately....
Me:*Looks up autistic signs*
Google:"Autistic folks are more likely to have stomach issues"
Me:"Huh, must be very rare bc me and my autistic siblings don't have that"
*realization kicks in*
Me:"Oh wait....we all have stomach issues"👁️🗨️👄👁️🗨️
(posted this while on my way to the stomach doctor)
Reminder that self diagnosis is valid and is often the first step to 'professional' diagnosis.
Reminder that not everyone can get diagnosed for a variety of reasons, which is why people refer to prof. diagnosis as a privilege.
The 'this autism meme is relatable but I'm not autistic lol' to 'I am definitely autistic' pipeline
I get a lot of people telling me how great it is that I’m learning about myself, how proud they are etc. for me recognizing that I’m autistic and trying to help myself. While this is still preferable to the people who just flat out deny it it’s not helpful.
No one in my family has any concept of what I’ve gone through, they’ve never seen me have a meltdown, they just think it’s cool self discovery which is absolutely minimizing the way I’ve struggled my entire life and it’s incredibly invalidating.
All I want is for someone to apologize, to say that I shouldn’t have had to figure this out by myself at all, to say that they’re sorry I did, that the system failed me and they did too. So for all the self/late diagnosed people out there I am sorry, you shouldn’t have had to figure any of this out by yourself, you should’ve been recognized in childhood and had adequate support, no matter how well you masked people should’ve asked more questions.
Because self diagnosis is necessary but it’s also very lonely and heartbreaking to learn that you weren’t broken and you could’ve had help from the beginning if someone had just acknowledged what you were going through.
Autism isn’t my tragedy, not being seen as autistic is. I lost so much of my childhood because no one wanted to spare me a second glance and for all the other autistics out their with similar experiences I’m so sorry, it sucks and it’s okay to grieve what could’ve been.
Not to mention a lot of insurance providers don't cover a late in life diagnosis and even if they do, it's expensive.
Can't take away from something that isn't there.
Not to mention to get any support from the government or an organization most people need an official diagnosis.
since autism often involves strict planning and routine whereas adhd often cannot function under such plans and routines, do audhd people have two wolves inside them who are constantly fighting like. "we NEED a plan" and "there will be NO PLAN or there will be NO MOTIVATION"