Soul Mates - Tumblr Posts

dan doesn’t want to get married (valid) but he still wants people to see phil as his forever person. like he will cringe at the word ‘husband’ but still make sure everyone sees a video of him pushing phil, a grown ass man, up a hill like a toddler because that’s HIS grown ass man and only he gets to have him and indulge him and pamper him. he just doesn’t want the word for that to be ‘husband’ (or boyfriend). he’s like “we’re immortal tortoises, we’re soulmates, best friends, companions through life” and people go “okay so you’re a couple then?” and he becomes that gif of emma roberts in scream queens where she huffs all frustrated because nooo they’re not a couple, other people, normal people with boring normal relationships are couples and husbands and boyfriends. what he and phil are to each other is so much bigger and more complex and nuanced and unfathomable and no one can understand it. he really thinks he and phil are the first and only people to experience a lifetime kind of love that feels like fate. and honestly who are we to tell him he’s wrong.

I love this show so much, because it's shown sides of them that the public has never seen and it's shown me just how much more similar the both of them are to me in different ways.

Ah...I didn't think they could get any similar and a lot of my mannerisms and behavior are making sense to me now.

Twin flames are so incredible and I really hope that even more people will discover these wonderful connections and be more open to finding them.

They bring out the best in you and help you become a better version of yourself, through growth and nothing but pure unconditional love.

Which is not something that many people can say they have really experienced, unfortunately.

I've met both Namjoon's and Taehyung's twin, so I wonder if I'll ever meet the other's some day?

That would be really great if I crossed paths with them- or even soul mates of their's.

I haven't came across any soul mates of Jimin and Jungkook in quite some time though...

I look forward to reaching even more people with my words, so I can learn about others and their lovely experiences :)

"I can’t consider him my twin flame, I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me. Even if our “souls” know each other it just doesn’t seem realistic."

Quoting some of my last 'ask' here, because it saddens me how people don't even bother to give their connections a chance.

If your souls know each other, than you know him well enough and I'm sorry that you need to feel the need to question not only yourself, but also Jungkook.

This person obviously isn't his twin, because there's only three of us- but he is definitely a soul mate by the sounds of it and it makes me sad when I hear of how people just close themselves right off and don't even give these connections a chance to thrive.

Why does it seem unrealistic to you? Because he's 'famous'?

That's your biggest mistake right there, because you clearly can't see him separate from his job. Being a kpop idol isn't who Jeon Jungkook is. It's definitely a part of him, but it's not who he is.

You're also seeming to be ignoring the connection he has with Jimin- when they have made it very abundantly obvious that they are twin flames. You didn't mention how he has more than one ~

"I can't call myself his twin flame."

In order to even stand a chance of being a part of Jungkook's life, you need to realize how much Jimin will be around and you need acknowledge their several different relationships that they have with each other.

"You are me and I am you" - Their motto is literally what a twin flame is.

It's more than just being a part of his life in a physical sense, because having a soul connection means so much more than that and after almost a decade of being close to my other halves- I can say that you feel it mentally, emotionally, physically AND spiritually.

You won't find out any of this though, because you won't allow yourself to believe that you have a real connection with this man.

It's sad really, because this person sounds like they're actually a soul mate of his- but they're approaching it in the wrong way and they are allowing their ego to get in the way and force them to think logically.

Logic doesn't exist when it comes to twin flames or soul mates lol and letting go of logic doesn't mean you let go of 'reality'- it means you allow your intuition to guide you, along with your heart. Eventually your mind will come into sync with everything over due time.

If you manage to see this post of mine, I really hope that you change your mind about your connection with him, because soul connections are in our lives for a reason and after almost a decade of following my own- I can tell you that they not only transform you, but they help you grow into a much better version of yourself.

Please, learn to love yourself a little more, so that you can choose to go on this journey with Jungkook ~

There's more to being a twin flame, than just having things in common with another individual.

It's being inter-connected to this person on a very cellular level- which is mainly why they're called 'twins' at all.

You share the same DNA, regardless of what language you speak and where you were born in this lifetime.

Which is why you often feel their presence in your life, before you ever find out their identity.

Have you ever felt like you had another person out there who was just like you? Did you ever feel like you would meet them no matter what? It wouldn't have made much sense to you- but did you ever feel like that?

They were trying to reach out to you in a very conscious manner if the answer is yes ~

Logic defies everything about both soul mates and twin flames and if you are going to ever be able to find yours- then you need to throw your logic out the window, because most your experiences aren't going make any sense.

I'm reblogging this from a few days ago, because I feel like someone may need to see it and I always follow my intution.

I'm glad to find out that my words are reaching so many people, even if they don't always respond to me.

Whoever needs to see this- please feel free to send me an 'ask', or message me anytime.

I'm here for you, love- so please take care of yourself :)

"I can’t consider him my twin flame, I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me. Even if our “souls” know each other it just doesn’t seem realistic."

Quoting some of my last 'ask' here, because it saddens me how people don't even bother to give their connections a chance.

If your souls know each other, than you know him well enough and I'm sorry that you need to feel the need to question not only yourself, but also Jungkook.

This person obviously isn't his twin, because there's only three of us- but he is definitely a soul mate by the sounds of it and it makes me sad when I hear of how people just close themselves right off and don't even give these connections a chance to thrive.

Why does it seem unrealistic to you? Because he's 'famous'?

That's your biggest mistake right there, because you clearly can't see him separate from his job. Being a kpop idol isn't who Jeon Jungkook is. It's definitely a part of him, but it's not who he is.

You're also seeming to be ignoring the connection he has with Jimin- when they have made it very abundantly obvious that they are twin flames. You didn't mention how he has more than one ~

"I can't call myself his twin flame."

In order to even stand a chance of being a part of Jungkook's life, you need to realize how much Jimin will be around and you need acknowledge their several different relationships that they have with each other.

"You are me and I am you" - Their motto is literally what a twin flame is.

It's more than just being a part of his life in a physical sense, because having a soul connection means so much more than that and after almost a decade of being close to my other halves- I can say that you feel it mentally, emotionally, physically AND spiritually.

You won't find out any of this though, because you won't allow yourself to believe that you have a real connection with this man.

It's sad really, because this person sounds like they're actually a soul mate of his- but they're approaching it in the wrong way and they are allowing their ego to get in the way and force them to think logically.

Logic doesn't exist when it comes to twin flames or soul mates lol and letting go of logic doesn't mean you let go of 'reality'- it means you allow your intuition to guide you, along with your heart. Eventually your mind will come into sync with everything over due time.

If you manage to see this post of mine, I really hope that you change your mind about your connection with him, because soul connections are in our lives for a reason and after almost a decade of following my own- I can tell you that they not only transform you, but they help you grow into a much better version of yourself.

Please, learn to love yourself a little more, so that you can choose to go on this journey with Jungkook ~

This poll will give me a general idea of what I should post and how I should represent it, so please take part. It will be greatly appreciated :)

“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

— Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte (b. 30 July 1818)

Sesshomaru and Kagura Wip

Soul Mates 🦋🦋

DR. SPENCER REID | 4.12 “SOUL MATES” 

DEREK MORGAN AND SPENCER REID in:

Criminal Minds Soul Mates (4.12)

he said /sarcasm after this.

occurred to me that morgan might be reacting so strongly to william referring to him as "boy" because that's what his abuser called him. and it ruined my whole day so i need to ruin everyone else's too.

what if death is a like a prism our consciousness passes through like light, and scatters us like particles, breaking out wavelengths seen and unseen, and when we meet someone we feel like we’ve known our whole life we’re re-meeting a small part of ourselves we traveled with on another journey at another time, now shining through a new medium, and maybe those rare ones we find and feel like soul mates are particles of us in a wavelength closer to the one which we presently perceive

from here on until forever - Demetri Volturi

Demetri Volturi was the first ever guy I had a serious fictional crush on on, like it was bad there were so many scenarios I created in my head but there was one that repeated in my head like a never ending movie

And I'm going to write it now

a timeline through the movies like key moments from each film (that obviously features him and my own plot) and the relationship is slowly going to build from there.

And I plan on posting it in parts so New Moon is part 1.

Character:

Name: Evangeline Swan (picture her as you want)

Sister: Bella Swan

status: human (will be changed)

Vampiric ability : seismic sense (later on)

Mate: Demetri Volturi

word count: 3.7k

and obviously all credit to the author of The Twilight Saga and everyone involved in the process of the movies.

___________________________________________________________

New Moon : The Start of Forever

You were sat in the yellow sports car which Alice Cullen had hijacked and was operating with dangerous speed towards the city of Volterra, Italy, where you knew nothing good was going to expect you when you arrived.

Lush green fields of grass and trees could be seen in your peripheral vision, there was something so scarily calming about it. But of course, Bella was too busy bouncing nervously in the passenger seat to admire the scenery, holding onto the dashboard harshly "I'm guessing you didn't rent his car?" she asked Alice.

You snickered quietly.

of course she didn't

"I figured you wouldn't be opposed to grand theft auto" Alice replied swiftly, briefly glancing over at Bella, who was beginning to look a little nauseous from the curves and pot holes in the road, "Not today" Bella rushed out.

Suddenly, you noticed Alice's eyes begin to glaze over and your curiosity was engaged, she was having a premonition.

Bella caught wind immediately.

"What? What do you see?" Bella asked her vampiric friend, a small hint of anxiety in her voice as she slowly feared for the worst and she had a bad feeling her vampire boyfriend had set some sort of plan in motion.

"Alice, are you okay?" you asked her, speaking up for the first time in a while.

Alice brushed you off, "They refused him" Alice said, narrowing her eyes in concern.

"Sooo" Bella pushed.

"He's going to make a scene, show himself to the humans" Alice said, glancing at both you and Bella

"that can't end well" you mumbled, meeting Alice's eyes in the mirror and having your thought confirmed as Alice nodded her head in agreement whilst keeping a steady eye on the prevailing road conditions ahead, steering the wheel smoothly and precisely.

"No.. when?!" Bella's voice was sharp with angst.

"He's going to wait until noon, when the sun is at it's highest" Alice let out a small gasp as her vision came to an end, making you think that she saw something upsetting.

You may not have liked Edward for all the shit he put Bella through, but you weren't the kind of person who would wish suffering on anyone.

"God Alice, you gotta hurry"

"There's Volterra"

___________________________________________________________

Bella rushed off to save her boyfriend through the sea of red coats, as per the tradition of St. Marcus day, celebrating the expulsion of vampires. You however, stayed with Alice and looked for a spot to leave the stolen vehicle.

Alice turned to look at you seriously as she covered every inch of her exposed skin, which was mostly her face, "Evangeline I want you to listen carefully to me, when we get to the castle do not do anything to attract attention" she said, looking you straight in the eyes.

you nodded wordlessly, worry growing within you as you sat still in the backseat of the car and feeling it come to a halt just behind the massive castle where the Volturi resided.

You weren't going to question her, you were about to step into the layer of vampires and you wanted to do everything in your powers to come out alive.

"Come on, let's go" she said and climbed out of the car, prompting you do the same and following behind her as she navigated through the areas covered with shade.

Time felt like it passes too fast as you were suddenly in front of a door with a very old and wooden looking latch "remember what I said" Alice said suddenly before breaking the latch and opening the door, stepping inside and you following right on her tail.

"Come guys, its a festival, you wouldn't want to cause a scene" Alice said smugly, whilst you awkwardly tried to close the door behind you but giving up after 2 seconds when the stupid thing did not want to listen.

Suddenly, your movement froze and you felt like the small hair on your skin was beginning to dance on the back of your neck, making an intense shiver run down your spine before spreading all over your body like a tsunami devouring anything in its way.

You looked up to find the source of this sensation, skipping over the beautiful old and italien structure when your eyes finally settled on a blonde man, dressed from head to toe in black. What actually caught your attention was his blood red eyes and how hauntingly captivating they were, even more as they met yours.

"Enough" a set of footsteps could be heard clacking on the ground and you watched as a young girl approach, pulling her hood from her head.

"Jane" Edward said quietly, acknowledging her presence.

As Edward's voice registered in your brain, you snapped your eyes away from the beautiful blonde individual and averted them to the ground, a small blush growing on your face in the process.

"Aro sent me to see what was taking so long" the girl, Jane, said and looked over Bella and you with bright and bloody eyes, not as beautiful or inviting as the other ones, before she turned around and began walking back to where she came from.

"Just do what she says" Alice whispered to you as you began to walk alongside her, your breath hitching in your throat as you walked past the blond vampire again, even more so when he started walking next to you.

Your heart was having a personal fiesta in your chest, the pace it was pumping at made you think you were about to fall to the floor from cardiac arrest, and it was all because of him.

Butterflies grew rampantly fast in your stomach, your fingers trembled as almost irresistible itch to just "accidentally" touch them to his was difficult to shove aside and your entire body felt like it was coming alive

And no words had even been exchanged yet.

After an elevator ride with a charged atmosphere, you found yourself walking down stone made stairs, the staircase being dimly lit by the light just outside the door.

You tuned out the small conversation Edward and Bella shared, choosing to primarily focus on not tripping and making a horrible first impression on the beautiful you may or may not already have a crush on.

You felt your neves growing as the more you felt like you approaching the belly of the beast that were the 3 king of the Volturi, especially since Alice told you the stories of what happens those who are exposed to the world of vampires of if you betray it.

The receptionist greeting you as you walked out had you snapped out of your thoughts and your eyes, on their own accord, flittered back to the breathtaking individual who walked beside you.

But the off-putting thought? she was human.

"is she human?" bella asked not-so-quietly, looking at Edward in his fancy red robe which you thought looked ridiculous on him.

"Yes"

"Does she know?"

"yes"

"Then why would-" Bella cut herself as realization dawned on her, "she wants to be".

"And so she will be" a shiver went down your spine as you heard him speak for the very first time, and it made your heart palpate faster. His voice was the right amount of deep and adorned with an english accent, making him all the more enticing.

You felt like there was an invisible cord pulling you with a prepostourley strong force towards him, and the more you tried to heed Alice's warnings about the Volturi, you find yourself beginning to lean more and more in the opposite direction.

Suddenly, a hand snaked its way across your back and settled itself on your waist, tracing small and delicate circles on whatever exposed skin was accessible to him. Almost as if to assure that you won't be hurt as long as he was there.

And the surprising part? you felt safe with him.

"Or dessert" Jane said and you found yourself being glad that you were protected.

Jane pushed open two gigantic wooden double doors and walked into a massive throne and of course, on two majestic chairs sat the 3 volturi kings.

Aro, Caius and Marcus.

Aro seemed to be excited.

Caius was glaring at visitors with annoyance and anger.

Marcus looked... well, rather somber.

Alice had tried to grab your arm and make you go in the same direction as her, the beautiful was quicker and pulled you closer with whilst moving to somewhere in the back of the room and away from the action.

Bella sent you a questioning glance, wondering what you were doing but you had no answer for her so you just shrugged your shoulders and smiled reassuringly at her.

"What a happy surprise! Bella is alive after all" Aro said, his tone chipper as he clapped his hands together, a little too chipper for greeting someone who knew about the existence of vampires...

"Isn't that wonderful? I love a happy ending" you watched Aro approach Bella and Edward, biting your lip in anxiety as your sister was dangerously close to having her life ended.

You weren't aware of it, but your hand subconsciously grabbed ahold of his sleeve and squeezed the material tightly in your grasp.

Aro grabbed ahold of Edwards hand, "they are so rare" he said before his eyes widened and glazed over and it reminded you of when Alice experiences one of her visions .

"La tua cantante, both of the swan sisters" he said, eyes flickering over to you in an instant with newfound curiosity bright in his eye before he decided to make his way over to you.

"My dear Demetri, it seems as though you found your mate" He said, stopping in front of you and looking you dead in the eye, making you shift a little closer to you to seek safety.

"So thats his name, Demetri. Suits him beautifully" you thought yourself.

"Yes my lord" Demetri said, his grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly but enough to make you crave more and be closer to him, even if you didn't understand why you wanted to close to someone who eats your kind for breakfast.

Aro's eyes go to you and you freeze, you couldn't decipher that look in his eyes, curiosity but combined with something else and you weren't sure if you wanted to know... or witness.

"Their blood appeals to you both" he started and you noticed a change in his facial expression "it makes me thirsty" you froze and moved closer to Demetri almost automatically.

"Aro can read every thought you've ever had, with one touch" Edward interjects, his voice making you startle in surprise and your gaze went to him, seeing that he's had his eye on you and Demetri, as well as Alice and you sent her a small smile to let her know you were okay.

Aro turned to look at him "you are quite a soul reader yourself, Edward. No, you can't read Bella's thoughts" he glanced at Bella another time "fascinating"

"I would love to see if you are an exception to my gift as well, would do me the hohor?" Aro extends his hand to Bella and you watch her take a tentative step forward, placing her hand in his.

You watch with nervousness and anxiety as Aro lowers his head and closes his hand, most likely trying to rifle through her memories one by one but he won't be successful, you knew that.

"Interesting" he pauses.

"I see nothing".

Maybe that was a good thing.

Aro takes a few steps backwards, interlacing his hands in thought "let us see if she is immune to all our powers" he says and an unsettling grin grew on his face as he looks at jane "shall we, jane?" and you could swear your heart leaps into your throat and panic consumes you.

"No please don't" you breathed and surged out of demetris hold and towards your sister but strong arms wrapped around your frame in an instant and coiled tightly, immobilizing any movement and leaving you thrashing to get away.

"No" Edward growled and lunged at jane, only to freeze on the stop and his body begins to contort painfully, as if his body was being squeezed into a little ball and he falls to his knees.

"Stop" Bella demanded with a fearful tone "no please stop" she pleaded and tried to run to edwards side but was stopped by Jane's brother, Alec.

"Stop, just stop hurting him please, please" her voice grew louder every second that edward appeared to be in more pain, his face completely strained as he fought against the onslaught waves of pain Jane sent in his direction with one steely eyed glare.

"Jane" Aro said that Jane obeyed instantly, stopping her ministrations against edward.

"Go ahead, my dear" aro said eerily softly and suddenly, Jane looked at Bella with excitement.

"This may hurt just a little" she said calmly and you began thrashing in demetris hold again when you realised what was going to happen

"please let me go" you pleaded quietly as you watched Bella prepare herself, a look of determination in her eyes and much like a python, the more you moved in his arms, the tighter he held you to him "please calm down mia cara, she won't come to harm" he whispered softly in your ear, his voice warm and somehow comforting and it sent shivers down your spine.

Aro lets out a laugh and claps his hands "Remarkable" he breathed "she confounds us all".

"So, what do we do with you now?" then, he looked at you.

"With both of you?".

you huddled closer to demetri at the threatening glint in Aros eyes, almost doing it instinctively.

"You already know what you are going to do Aro" the oldest and kind of depressed-looking spoke up first with a monotonous tone in his voice, as if this whole ordeal bored him.

The blonde king spoke next "They know too much, they're a liability" he said before glancing at you "the younger swan will be spared as she is Demetri's mate, but she has to be turned" he demanded and your stomach tightened with dread.

did you want to be changed? were you really willing to throw a whole chapter of your life away to be with someone you met an hour ago?

Aro sighed wistfully "thats true" he agreed before casting a glance to a burly vampire, giving him a look "Felix" was all he said and Bella was released from Alecs grip

only to be flipped so she was standing protected behind Edward and he lunges at Felix, tackling him to the floor with ferocity and then you felt a rush of wind, suddenly feeling cold.

You looked to the side and saw that Demetri had a hand wrapped around Alices throat in a vice-like grip, not letting her escape and you frowned, she must've tried to intervene.

But with Demetri guarding Alice, you felt exposed and unsafe in a room full of vampires which would easily kill you if given the command, damn you really got comfy in his arms.

Every time edward was slammed into the marble floors, small and tiny cracks grew along his skin, like a porcelain vase that was beginning to shatter and you winced as the cracks and tears grew louder.

And then Felix had him in a headlock, ready to tear off his head and bella let out a cry of desperation "Please, no, no, please, plese!" she cried and aro gave the command to stop felix, hearing the plea in her voice "kill me, kill me, not him" she rushed out and inhaled shakily.

your head turned faster than a cobra striking its pray, you couldn't believer her words, how easily she was willing to give up her life for the man she loved but what about you? were you at the center of her priorities too?

"Bella no, don't say that" you breathed and fought the rising tears as you went to stand by her side but you only got a glare from your sister, so this is what it came to be.

Suddenly becoming a vampire didn't seem like the worst idea.

Aro stalked towards bella with slow and deliberate steps, a confused yet a look of awe in his eyes "how extraordinary, you would give up your life for someone like us, a vampire, a soulless monster"

shivers went down your spine and a burning sensation tingled by the back of your head, you turned your head to look and saw demetri had his eyes trained on you whilst still having focus on keeping Alice captive with is hand wrapped firmly and tightly around her throat.

Guilt consumed you when your first thought was not centred around Alice and her safety but rather the man who had the potential to cause her harm if she so much as she attempted to squirm and break free, the thought of that was enough to get you to turn your head and focus on Bella and Edward again.

But all you then saw was a blur wizzing forward and slamming into another member of the Volturi and you quickly realised edward pounced on him, most likely to protect bella.

(skipping ahead)

Edward was spared from being destroyed and stood with Bella once again and Demetri stood by you again, an arm wrapped securely around your waist.

"let us be done with this, heidi will arrive any moment"

the old and frail-looking king spoke up as he stood up slowly "thank you for your visit" he said slowly with a deep rasp in his voice and then then the blonde king spoke up.

"I would advise that you follow through with your promise soon, we do not offer second chances" he said with a sneer on his face, emphasizing the word "chances" to make it sound more menacing you were sure.

Demetri let go of you momentarily to open the giant double doors and led you and the others out of the throne room "goodbye my young friends" Aro said from behind but you did not once stop to think to turn around, you just kept walking and followed demetri.

"Nice fishing, heidi" you heard demetri say and you looked up, a beautiful vampiric woman in a red dress walked past your group with a sea of tourists following right behind her, mumbling curiously and admiring the architecture of the palace and it appeared as though they were completely oblivious that they were being lead to their deaths.

maybe it was better that way, a quick and swift death.

"yes they do look rather juicy" Heidi replied and sent a smirk in his direction and an emotion that mimicked jealousy (or actual jealousy) rose within you, did she have thing for him? but you shook those thoughts away.

and then the screaming and shouting came.

you froze and wanted to turn around to observe what was happening but demetri snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you close to him "don't look its not for the faint of heart, mia cara" his soft voice met your ear and heat rushed down your spine at the close proximity, the effect he had on you making you slowly forget.

A few minutes later and you were outside, the warm sun beaming down on you and you welcomed it without hesitation, breathing in the fresh air and relaxed.

"It's time we go home" Alice stood next to you, a hand on your shoulder as she gave you a soft smile.

you bit your lip in thought, eyes flickering over to demetri.

for whatever reason, the thought of leaving him was like going through a heartbreak and it was like your whole body was protesting and fighting hard against it, leaving him felt like a gloomy cloud was descending upon you and your world would shrouded in darkness.

"2 seconds alice" you told her quietly and stepped over to demetri, your heart hammering violently in your chest.

"what happens now?" was the first thing you asked him as you looked up at his beautiful face, his beautiful red eyes looking down at you with a certain softness and fondness you didnt think you'd ever on a vampires face.

"We will be together again, and I understand that you must return home" He spoke with understanding as he delicately placed his hand on your cheek, stroking the skin softly like you were the most precious thing he had in his possession.

Which is kind of true given your human nature and his vampire.

a sad and small smile rose on your lips as you subconsciously leaned into his touch, his hand burrowing itself gently in your hair "I look forward to it" you whispered before stepping back, his hand falling from your head and you immediately missed his touch.

"we'll see each other sooner than you think, mia cara"

"this is only the start".

and with that, you turned and left with the others and you were damn sure that you wouldn't ever forget him.

_____________________________________________________________

still new at this, hope its nothing too bad

It is my honor to pronounce you one.

If you wanna talk about last night, talk. Here’s the thing, Elena. I don’t know what to say or do or think. The Vampire Diaries 5.17 ‘Rescue Me’

You know that moment when you have two friends who don't know each other who you can tell would become really great friends but you're nervous to introduce them to each other in case they become better friends with each other than with you and you get cut out of the friend group, but you also don't want to be the reason soulmates never get together and also maybe you guys would make the best trio ever?

When the love is real it gives you both wings

Wowowowow! Soo good🥹 got me cryin buy in the best way possible lol💕

when I think of love (I think of you)

genre: soulmate au, college au, fluff and angst

pairing: yang jungwon x f reader

word count: 8.9k

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

There’s a word for it, something that’s whispered behind closed doors, shunned like a bad omen you can’t quite shake. 

Glitch. A cruel twist of fate. A failed soulmate match. 

Something you’ve been since the countdown on your wrist ticked to 00:00 two long years ago and left you just as lonely as ever. Something you’ve been fighting since destiny carved itself into your skin with a dull, lifeless shade of gray. 

But fate is a funny thing. And love, as you’ve learned, is often found in the most unexpected places. 

or, 

In which fate, in all its cruel, incandescent scheming, leads straight to Yang Jungwon. 

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The overhead fluorescents in this particular lecture hall always manage to leave you with a pounding headache that even a strong dose of Advil can never quite seem to mitigate. 

“And with time, these bonds only strengthen, until a point is reached in which both parties would experience immense pain were they to be separated, willingly or not.” Well, it’s either the lightbulbs or the sound of your professor’s droning. Today, his words are slightly muted where they reach your ears, as if you’re hearing them underwater. It’s information you should be taking in, or at the very least be taking note of since it’s sure to appear in course content later on, but you can’t get your mind to cooperate.

Intro to Soulmate Theory. An absolute joke of a class. The very foundation your society is built around. A nagging reminder of the deficiency that stains your left wrist. 

Unwittingly, you tug your sleeve down further. There’s no need, not really. You made sure it covered the mark fully before you left your dorm this morning. Just like every morning. But long standing habits are rarely broken, and the last thing you need now is yet another reminder of what makes you different, what makes you wrong.  

But there’s little time to ponder this particularly cruel stroke of fate before your professor is pushing forward, unconcerned with the fact that his students may be affected by his lecture on more than an academic level. 

“As per the syllabus, you’ll be completing projects with an assigned partner on a topic of your choice. I encourage you to use a wide variety of resources to reflect and encompass several points of view and ideas surrounding soulmate theory.” 

Several points of view. Yeah, right. In your experience, any arguments against the traditional soulmate model have been met with nothing short of anger and ridicule. 

Although it makes for a frustrating life, it makes for a simplistic assignment. No matter how incompetent your assigned partner, you’re sure it will be easy enough to meet up once or twice and regurgitate common sentiment on how the soulmate system is nothing short of a wondrous gift to humanity. 

Glancing at the clock one last time, you silently thank whatever cosmic forces caused your professor to wrap up class fifteen minutes early. You’ll have enough time to grab a coffee before your shift. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you slide your laptop into your bag before standing up from your seat. No matter what bullshit this particular class dragged you through, today will be a good day. You’re sure of it. 

With one final scan of your area, you head to the front door of the room without a glance back. 

In the very back corner of the lecture hall, tucked neatly out of both sight and mind, Yang Jungwon exhales a long sigh before gathering his things. 

…

“Oh, you are an absolute goddess.” 

Playful frown tugging at your lips, you ask “Why is it that you only praise me when I come bearing gifts?”

Alina takes a moment to respond, too engrossed in the matcha latte you just handed her to concern herself with your question. 

Despite her inclination to only offer compliments as payment for caffeine, she’s hands down your favorite coworker. With Alina, even the slowest of shifts have a way of passing quickly with lots of laughs to fill the silence. 

Sliding into your seat next to her, you turn on your desk computer. “Any new applications to process today?”

“Nothing yet,” Alina glances at the empty inbox to confirm her answer. “This time of year is usually fairly slow. We tend to get more applications at the beginning of the semester and around the holidays.”

“Right.” You nod. “That makes sense.” Times when people are new to campus. And times when people are lonely. 

You had been the latter when you submitted your application. Last year was your first year of university, and although the writing on your wrist had already faded to black by the time you enrolled, living on campus meant you were away from your family and friends for the first time. 

You pushed it off as long as you could. It hurt something in you, pride perhaps, to seek help from the Student Support Center over something that you’d been grieving in private for the better part of a year. 

But loneliness is what finally did it, what finally pushed you to seek support from the university for your condition. For the permanent reminder of cosmic cruelty etched into the soft skin of your left wrist. 

For the second time in the span of an hour, you find yourself tugging at your sleeve. 

You suppose it’s the same thing—injured pride, a deep sense of shame, that has you wearing long sleeves even in the summertime. It’s not like you’re unfamiliar with the failure etched into your skin. You know what you’d find if you looked. A matte gray 00:00. A reminder of what could’ve been, what should’ve been. 

You remember when there was a different number displayed there, one that got smaller and smaller with each passing second. One that glowed a bright, glossy red instead of the dull, lifeless gray it is now. 

Just like everyone else, you’d been born with red numbers on your left wrist. There was no sign then, at your birth, that you were different, that you were a glitch. 

Just like your family, just like your friends, just like your classmates, your number was normal, albeit a bit smaller than most. 

As a child, you’d reveled in it—the comparative smallness of your countdown. It wasn’t unusual for people to have to wait well into their twenties or even their thirties to find their soulmates. But a quick calculation revealed that your countdown would tick to 00:00 just after your seventeenth birthday. 

It feels stupid now, like some sort of cruel joke, that you ever thought yourself lucky. 

Because two years ago, with just seconds to go, you had been waiting in a park close to your school. It was that cosmic energy again, that divine sense of something, that told you this particular park was where your life was destined to change, where you were going to meet your fated soulmate. 

Like everyone else, your timer had run out, and he was there. Handsome and a year or two older than you, if you had to guess. A perfect stranger that you felt like you already knew. A soulmate destined only for you. 

But unlike everyone else, your completed countdown, that ever coveted 00:00, didn’t transform into a glossy, shiny deep violet that signified the successful completion of a soulmate match. 

No, instead it had turned to the same faded gray that mocks you now. 

Confused, your brow drew together as you locked eyes with the man that was supposed to be a culmination of everything clicking into place. 

At a second glance, the wrongness of it all began to sink in. The way he walked toward you with slow, reluctant steps. The way his mouth pulled tight at the corners like he wanted to prevent any words from escaping. 

The wedding ring wrapped around the finger on his left hand that you thought would belong to you. 

It was an accident, he told you. A drunken mistake between him and a girl he met at university. One he wasn’t serious about, but damage had been done nevertheless. A single night that was meant to be a blip, a passing moment in time, but turned into a child. One that the two of them decided to raise together. 

A child that had them both decide to forgo the fate written on their wrists and forge a new life of their own. 

It hurt, he told you, to see you, to know that he was causing you pain. 

But his mind was made up and you knew better than to plead with a man who had fought and forsaken destiny itself. 

It wasn’t your fault. He’d told you that day, and you’ve heard it countless times since then. From your parents. From your closest friends. From your own tear-stained reflection in your bedroom mirror. 

But blame with nowhere to go always had a way of ending up on your shoulders, and reassurances never stopped you from pondering possibilities on sleepless nights. 

What if we had met sooner? What if he never met her? What if they never had a child?

In the end, it was pointless. Fate had been written and rewritten. The stars had aligned and shifted and still remained terribly out of reach. There was nothing you could do, nothing to be done. 

But it didn’t stop the loneliness from seeping in. It was loudest during the quiet moments, but it never truly left. It didn’t matter where you were—in class, with friends, surrounded by people, or completely alone. There was always an overwhelming sense of loss, of loneliness that followed where you went. 

And when the burden of it all felt too heavy, you’d bitten the bullet and applied to your university's support program for glitches, although none of the staff dared to use that word. 

It’s where you’d met Alina. And although she had a bright red number still ticking evenly on her wrist, she’d had a friend who shared your fate. Who let the loneliness consume her instead of accepting help. 

Even if it wasn’t through firsthand experience, Alina knew the pain of failed matches intimately. After a handful of weeks, you’d found genuine friendship in her and she was the one to recommend you for a job on the support team. 

You’re grateful beyond words for her, for all of it. For the people and the friendships and the moments that remind you life is worth living, even on the hard days. 

So you’ll take her compliments with a smile, even when they come at the expense of a matcha latte from her favorite campus cafe. You’ll take the hard days and the good days and all the little moments in between, and at the end of it all, you’re confident there will always be something to smile about, even when your heart feels so heavy you’re afraid it might sink right out of your chest. 

“The matcha’s good?” You ask, even though you know the answer. And if you didn’t, it would be apparent from the fact that it’s already half gone. 

But something in you still smiles, still feels a little lighter when Alina turns to you with a grin and says, “of course.”

…

If there’s one place you still find it difficult to extend optimism towards, it’s your damn Intro to Soulmate Theory course. Although an important element of sociology and objectively relevant, it does more to remind you of your abnormality than just about anything else. 

Thankfully, your professor’s cadence is beginning to slow, a surefire signal that class is wrapping up. You glance up at the clock. Could you really be so lucky as to get out early two classes in a row?

At the front of the lecture hall, your professor peruses his notes one final time. It’s all you can do to suppress a groan when he starts speaking again, and not to dismiss you.

“Before we end for the day, as I mentioned last class, you’ll be completing your next assignment in partners. The instructions, rubric, and due date can all be found on the syllabus, and you’re welcome to email me or attend office hours with any additional questions you may have. I’ve already taken the initiative to pair you, so please listen for your name.

“Kim Sunoo and Lee Heeseung.”

As he moves through the seemingly endless list of names, you begin to tune out. Have there always been this many people in this class?

When you finally hear your name, your attention snaps back into focus. 

“... and Yang Jungwon.”

Yang Jungwon. 

It’s a name you’ve heard in passing, maybe, but he’s not someone you’re familiar with. Standing, you begin to look around the hall. You figure it might be easiest to exchange information now, but if you can’t find him, you could always look up his email on the class list later.

Ultimately, it’s him who finds you.

“___?” At the sound of your name, you turn to face him. Dark hair and eyes, you’re surprised you don’t recognize him more. As it turns out, Yang Jungwon has the kind of face that makes you want to keep looking. The kind of face you’d search a crowd for. 

“Yeah,” you affirm, somewhat breathless. “Yang Jungwon?”

“Just Jungwon is fine.” He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Do you want to go ahead and exchange information? I get my final training schedule later today, so I can message you when I have a better idea of when I’ll be able to meet up.”

“That sounds good.” Nodding, you hand over your phone for him to input his information. As he types, you watch a strand of hair fall over his eyes. “Training schedule? Are you an athlete?”

If he’s put off by your probing, he doesn’t show it. “Mhm,” he nods. “Taekwondo team.”

“That’s cool.” Accepting your phone back, you type your name into the newly created chat. “Here, I’ll send you a message so you have my information too. I work in the afternoons, but I have a pretty consistent schedule. Once you have your training times, we can figure out when we’re both free.” 

Checking the message that comes through with a ding, Jungwon nods. “Perfect.” He hikes his bag further up on his shoulder, pausing for a moment before turning his gaze towards the door that the rest of the class is heading towards. “I’ll see you around, then,” he says before turning to do the same. 

And if you let your gaze linger just a little too long on his retreating back, you’ll be grateful that no one is paying you enough attention to notice.

…

Dinner cleaned up, skincare completed, and the events from the day blurring into a sleepy haze is when his first message reaches you. 

9:36pm Yang Jungwon I got my final training schedule. Looks like I should be free Tuesday and Thursday afternoons after 4 if that works for you?

Double checking your work schedule, you type a reply. 

9:38pm You I work on Tuesdays until 6 but I can do Thursday at 4. 

9:39pm Yang Jungwon Let’s plan on Thursday then 👍 Meet you at the library? I’ll reserve a study room on the first floor. 

9:40pm You Sounds good, see you then!

With the semester well underway, Thursday is quick to roll around. A handful of minutes before four finds you wandering through the first floor of the library, working to locate the study room Jungwon texted you the number of earlier. 

After a minute of searching, you find it, half surprised that he’s arrived even earlier than you. 

Early and straight from practice, you assume, if the still drying strands of hair that indicate a recent shower are anything to go by. 

“Good call on the study room,” you add after your initial greetings. “I always forget how packed the library is once the semester really gets going.” 

“Right?” Jungwon agrees. “I have a friend who swore by them last year, and now I’ll never go back.”

“Sharing the study room secret?” You grin. “That’s a true friend right there.” 

“Yeah,” something softens in Jungwon’s gaze, a distinct fondness in his eyes that tells you he’s thinking of more than just study rooms. “He is.” 

“So,” you continue, not wanting to waste time getting started. “I glanced over the instructions on the syllabus, and it seems pretty straightforward.” Switching to the open tab with the syllabus, you confirm. “Looks like we just need to pick a topic in soulmate theory with some kind of recent research developments and explain why the new research is significant and how it has changed, challenged, or confirmed existing theory.” 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you force yourself into the familiar state of detachment you always revert to when discussing this particular topic. 

“I don’t know if you have a topic in mind already,” you shrug. “I’m pretty much open to anything.”

He pauses for a moment before answering. “What about—” Dropping his thought into silence, Jungwon seems to reconsider. “Never mind.”

“Is there something you’re interested in?” 

“No.” Jungwon shakes his head. “I doubt there would be any recent research, anyway.”

“Okay.” Part of you wants to push further, but you don’t want to make him uncomfortable. “I just looked up some recent research topics, and it looks like there’s been some more development in theory related to countdown colors and location-based soulmate matches.” Ignoring the way the gray on your wrist suddenly seems like the most prominent thing in the room, you mold your voice into an even tone. “Do either of those sound interesting to you?”

He considers for a moment. “Maybe location-based matches?”

Releasing a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, you nod. “That sounds good to me.” Turning back to your computer, you add, “Let’s both find a few publications to reference and then we can take notes on them before we meet up next week. The final paper is due in four weeks, so we can outline next week and then start the actual writing.”

“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees, “that works for me.”

In the minutes that follow, a silence settles around you. It’s not horribly awkward, but part of you is still itching to fill it with something. 

Finally, you bite the bullet. “Would it be okay with you if I put some music on? Just something instrumental.”

“Sure,” Jungwon nods. 

Grateful, you open your study playlist and begin it on shuffle. The first notes play out, an easy piano melody that cuts through some of the stagnance. 

A handful of songs and journal articles later, Jungwon breaks the rhythm. “Clair de Lune.” A small smile turns the corners of his lips up. “This is on my study playlist too.”

You offer a small smile in return. “You like this song?”

“Yeah.” He nods. The quiet melody sings through the air, floats around tentative glances, delicate breaths. Lands lightly on two sets of shoulders. “You know, you’re better than me. I always end up turning on my regular playlist and then singing along to the songs instead of actually working on anything.”

That earns him a full blown smile. “Believe me, I do that more than I probably should, too.”

A shared grin later, the two of you are back to your own laptop screens. 

Despite the fact that you don’t switch your playlist, you find yourself distracted for the rest of the session. Not by the music, but by the fact that it’s all too easy to picture Jungwon in the comfort of his dorm, headphones on as he sings along with whatever’s playing in his ears, forgotten assignments scattered across the desk in front of him. 

…

Despite your newfound fondness of your project partner, you have a feeling that Intro to Soulmate Theory will continue to be your most dreaded class until the end of the semester releases you from its twice-a-week morning monotony. 

Life seems determined to prove you wrong, though, because just as the professor is settling into his position behind the podium, a body slides into the usually empty seat on your left. 

Startled, you glance up. 

“Jungwon?”

“Hey,” he smiles. “I’m glad I made it on time. I thought for sure I’d be late.” 

He finishes settling into his new seat before sliding something onto your desk. “I brought this for you, by the way.”

Eyes catching on the iced coffee in front of you, you try to do anything but balk. 

“I noticed you have one sometimes in this class. I wasn’t sure what your order was, so I had to guess based on color. And I mean, light brown can be just about anything with iced coffee, so I hope you like it.”

“I—thank you.” The fondness in you swells. For just a moment, it feels like something bigger, something more. Something you haven’t felt since… Since an afternoon you’ve worked hard on forgetting for a long time. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Jungwon shrugs.”I was stopping by the cafe anyway.” He gestures to the coffee on his desk. “Besides, it’s what a partner’s for.” 

“Well thank you,” you repeat. “I—” Whatever you’re about to say is interrupted by the beginning of the lecture. 

You’re not sure if it’s the caffeine or the boy at your side, but something has today’s lecture flying by. You’re not sure if you’ve even blinked once before the professor is dismissing you for the day and you leave Jungwon with an unfamiliar lightness in your heart and a promise to see each other on Thursday.

…

Thursday afternoon finds the pair of you back in the same study room, laptops open and project outline halfway formed. 

This time, the drinks on the table in front of you are courtesy of your wallet. It’s too soon to say for sure, but you have the feeling a tradition of sorts may be blooming. 

You can’t say that you mind. It’s nice to have something to look forward to, to have someone to share it with. It doesn’t matter if it’s small, if it’s nothing but an unexpected coffee to make a study session pass just a bit faster. It feels nice. It feels… special. 

The same instrumental study playlist filtering through your laptop speaker, you both share a small smile when Clair de Lune begins to play. 

It’s pleasant, you realize. A project that you were dreading has become something you look forward to, and you’re sure it’s because of him. 

Despite the fact that you’re poring over research that would sting like a slap in the face under any other circumstance, Jungwon’s presence soothes the ache, keeps the reminders of a fate lost to time and circumstances at bay just by occupying the seat next to you. 

You’re not sure what it is, not sure why it seems to reach you somewhere that’s remained untouched for years, but the more time you spend with him, the more you start to like it. 

That odd sensation that almost feels like butterflies in your stomach. The stilted rhythm of a heartbeat that almost feels like it’s running a little faster. That warmth that sits high on your cheekbones almost like a flustered blush whenever he catches your eye for a little too long. 

A million little almosts. A million little possibilities. A million little somethings you thought ended with the dead countdown on your wrist two years ago. 

You don’t let yourself voice these thoughts, don’t even let your mind linger on the connection for too long. 

If it does, it will twist and tarnish whatever is taking flight into something ugly, something rotten. Will convince you that your happiness is borrowed, that it will only come back in the form of future misery. 

That the semester will end, the class will wrap up, the project will be submitted. 

Yang Jungwon will be nothing but a moment in time. A blip on a radar. Time will continue on with its incessant march and the countdown on your wrist will remain unchanged. 

That it doesn’t matter how many almosts the two of you share. Your fate was written in the stars and unraveled by a man who didn’t want you. 

You’re a failure. A glitch. 

Pretty words and sideways glances and unexpected gestures of kindness won’t change that. 

Yang Jungwon will move on from this project, from this class, from you. 

His countdown will keep ticking if it hasn’t turned to a shiny violet yet, and you will be nothing but a forgotten memory. 

You’re not sure why it’s so upsetting in this moment, this series of truths that have been both apparent and unavoidable since you first made eye contact with Jungwon. But something about the way they swirl in your mind now has you desperate for air, for space. 

You try to offer some halfhearted excuse about stepping out for a moment, and you barely note the concern that flickers across Jungwon’s features in your panic induced stupor. 

You hear your name. Hear it followed by the gentle question, “Are you okay?” 

But it’s muffled. It’s all wrong. 

In your haste to escape, you knock over the gift, your gesture of goodwill in the form of the coffee you brought Jungwon. 

You watch, horrified, as it seems to fall in slow motion, hot, dark liquid spilling over the table. 

“It’s okay,” you think you hear him say. But it’s not. It’s not. 

He reaches for his bag, pulling out a handful of napkins. Instinctively, he rolls up his sleeves to wipe up the excess liquid. 

And that’s when you notice it. The inky 00:00 on the inside of his left wrist. 

It’s not violet. It’s not shiny. It’s a dull, muted, lifeless gray. 

A reflection, a twin, a copy of your own. 

His eyes fall to the same spot as your own, and he’s pulling his sleeve down just as quickly as he rolled it up. But it’s too late. You’ve already seen. 

Shared pain. Shared shame. 

It grounds you. Reaching out a hand, you take a handful of napkins off the top of the pile. 

“Here,” you offer, voice unbearably small. “I can help.” Hollow words and a hollow sentiment. As luck would have it, spilled coffee is the least of your shared concerns. 

Nonetheless, the two of you wipe up the remainder of the spill in silence, a gentle piano melody weaving its way around the silence, wrapping itself around both of your wrists, threading an invisible string between two lost souls, two shared fates. 

“It didn’t get on your computer, did it?”

“No,” Jungwon shakes his head, reaching out his hand to grab the soiled napkins from you before discarding them in the trash can. “Just the table.”

“That’s good.” A moment passes. Two. “I’m sorry.” You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for, what you should be apologizing for, but you take the easy way out. “I should have paid better attention to where your cup was. You can finish mine, if you want.”

“It’s okay.” Running a hand through his hair, he adds, “I usually only drink it hot.”

“I can get you a new one—”

“Really, it’s okay.”

And it is. You can tell that he’s not upset, not about the coffee. But the tension is still there. 

You saw it. You have the sinking suspicion that he knows you saw it. 

And you’re at a crossroads. You can act as if nothing happened, pretend that you saw nothing and return to your half finished project outline. 

But you’ve had friends and family tiptoe around you, and it never left you feeling anything but more empty, more unwanted, more of an anomaly. 

You don’t want Jungwon to feel those things. So you try your best, in a steady voice, hiding the shake in your hands underneath the cover of the table. 

“You know,” you nod towards his arm, taking care to keep any signs of judgment clear from your voice. “I actually work at the Student Support Center. I know it’s rare, but there’s a whole department dedicated to helping people that… struggle with soulm—”

“I think we should just work on the project.” Jungwon is tight lipped where he avoids your gaze. The way he tugs on his sleeves has you wanting to press matters further, to push just a little further until he knows that he has you on his side, but you’ll respect his wishes. The last thing you want is to increase his discomfort, and you have the feeling you’ve already done just that. 

“Okay, yeah.” You take a deep inhale. “I overstepped. I’m sor—”

But Jungwon just shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.” 

…

But you do. 

You worry about it when you head home for the evening, accidentally leaving the oven on long after your dinner is finished cooking. 

You worry about it as you try to fall asleep, unsettled by thoughts of Jungwon suffering the same pain, the same shame you’ve been hiding the last two years. 

You worry about it when you arrive at class the next day, two coffees in hand. 

Your worry turns to dread when Jungwon never comes, coffee going cold where it sits untouched on your desk.

You worry when you arrive at work, the handful of messages you’ve sent still unanswered no matter how many times you check your phone. 

10:47am You Hi Jungwon, sorry if this is annoying but you weren’t in class today and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay

10:58am You I’m really sorry about the other day at the library. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

1:32pm You Hey let me know when you see this. I just really want to make sure you’re okay. 

You’ve typed and deleted a million more, unsure of how to best approach the situation. You don’t even know if he considers you friends, really. 

Your shift passes in a blur until Alina asks if you’d be up to pull a double, since someone on the evening shift called out sick. 

Usually you’d be hesitant, but right now you’re desperate for any sort of distraction and agreeing comes easy. 

But you’ve forgotten one key thing. In your old schedule, evening shifts were always your favorites. Primarily because they’re significantly  slower than the rest. Most students preferred to schedule their visits during the day, which left you with plenty of time to catch up on assignments between tasks. 

It’s an especially slow night tonight, the near torrential downpour tearing through the campus an added deterrent to anyone wanting to venture outdoors. Unfortunately, this only leaves you with more time to ruminate over Jungwon, whose name has yet to light up your phone screen. 

You wish you knew more about him. Wish you knew who his friends were so you could reach out to one of them to check in on him. 

You’re halfway convinced you should just go through everyone on your class list and send emails until someone knows something when the sound of a bell chimes out, signaling the opening of the center’s front door. Peering over your computer, you squint, trying to make out the person who’s just entered. 

As they draw nearer, a familiar form begins to solidify. 

“Jungwon?” You brow furrows in confusion as you stand up out of your seat. A million emotions flicker through your mind. Annoyance that he’s been avoiding you and your messages. Confusion as to why he’s here. Above it all, relief that he seems to be okay.

 But then you take him in fully. 

He’s absolutely soaked, down to the bone, rain matted hair falling over his eyes while his clothes cling a little closer to his frame with the added weight of precipitation. There’s a frantic look in his eye, a panic that you recognize all too well. 

“Jungwon,” you repeat, letting your strides eat up the group as you close the distance that still separates you. He’s shaking, you realize, once your hands reach up to smooth some of the hair away from his eyes. Trembling like a leaf and dripping onto the floor. He still can’t match your gaze, still has yet to breathe a single word to you. 

“You’re shaking.” You can’t help but point out the obvious. With determined movements, you reach for his hand, finding no resistance as you envelop it in your own. Tugging slightly, you pull him into a nearby room, stopping only to grab a warm blanket and to begin brewing a warm cup of tea. After a moment, you wordlessly offer him both. 

A million questions bubble in your throat. You breathe life into none of them. Silence settles around the both of you. Not entirely unpleasant, but brimming with something heavy.

“I just,” he finally breathes and you feel your heart clench in your chest. Seize like his pain is your own. “I couldn’t be alone.” There’s a tremble in his breath when he adds, “Not tonight.”

“You’re not.” You shake your head, drawing closer as you take a seat to his right. “I promise you. You’re not alone.” 

And you won’t let him be. Not after the time for your shift to end comes and goes. Not when the sun starts to peek its head over the horizon, painting the sky in the pastel watercolors of a new day. 

You don’t move until he does. Until he asks in a small voice if you’ll meet him in an hour at the coffee shop you now both frequent. 

Until you honor his request with a nod and a promise to see him again soon. 

…

The coffee shop is mostly empty this early in the morning. The corner table the two of you occupy feels private, secluded. A place fitting for revelations. 

Jungwon begins all at once, coffee warm between his hands. 

His match was supposed to be in a park, too. 

It’s interesting—the research you’ve been reading supports claims that soulmate bonds tend to prefer open air, areas surrounded by nature. 

Jungwon’s fate was set in stone later than yours, only a year ago today. Shared fate. Shared pain. Shared shame. 

A park, his favorite one. A place he went often, a place he loved. He hasn’t been back since. 

Not when that eerie, cosmic, magnetic pull of destiny tugged at him until he was sitting on a bench, next to the rose garden in full bloom. 

Not when his breath stopped the second she arrived, not when he knew, he knew it was her. His destiny. His soulmate. 

Not when he stood up to greet her, to meet his future with a wide smile and open arms just as the numbers on his wrist drew closer and closer to zero. 

Not when he watched, with a distinct sort of dread building in the pit of his stomach, as someone on the opposite side of the garden emerged. Not when time ticked on, revealing with every steady second that this stranger had the same intentions, the same plan, the same countdown, the same fate. 

Not when he watched this stranger meet her first. 

Not when he watched in abject horror as smiles lit up both of their faces. 

Not when he looked down at his own wrist, vision blurred through the onset of tears, as the bright, ruby red faded to gray instead of the violet it was meant to be. 

Not when he was a failure, a miscalculation, an unfortunate needle in a haystack of perfection, of success stories. A glitch. 

Not when he watched the love of his life fall into the arms of another man and leave him. Alone. Lonely. Forgotten. 

Even now, in the seat across from yours, you can see the toll it takes on him. 

So you reach for comfort in the only way you know how, in the unique twist of fate that led two unlucky circumstances to cross unlikely paths. 

Laying your left arm on the table, you pull the end of your sleeve up. 

It’s not a lot. But for now, it’s enough. 

…

There’s an odd sort of balance, a sense of comfort that comes with understanding and being understood. It’s not like before, but you and Jungwon fall into a new kind of easy rhythm. One that both understands the most intimate pain and shame of the other while still keeping them at an arm’s distance. 

It’s not solace. But it’s something. 

You’re off tiptoes and on solid ground. And when you meet Jungwon for your next Thursday study session, there’s a new kind of fire in his eyes. 

“I think we should switch our project topic.”

It takes a concentrated effort not to spit out the drink of water you just took. “What?” At this point, your outline is finished and you’re well into writing your report. The thought of redoing all that work with a week and a half to go is nearly unbearable. “Why?”

He doesn’t falter. “I think we should do our project on glitches.”

You recoil as if you’ve been slapped. 

Glitch. It’s a word people tiptoe around, whisper behind closed doors. Not meant for respectable society and certainly not in a university research paper. 

You don’t even need a second to consider. “No.”

“What?” It’s Jungwon’s turn to look surprised. “Why? I mean, we’re both—”

“I said no.” The shock on his face has you supplementing. “Look, I’m just not comfortable with it. Besides, we’ve done so much work on this topic already. It doesn’t make sense to switch.”

Only a fraction of what you’ve said seems to resonate. “Not… comfortable,” he echoes, twisting the words like they’re indecipherable. 

He doesn’t continue, but you can sense the urge to press further in the tense set of his shoulders. It’s a sensitive subject made even more so by the way he tiptoes around it.

“I can tell you have something else to say.” Annoyance creeps in, like an old friend, like a dangerous reminder. 

“It’s nothing.” Jungwon shakes his head. “I guess I just don’t…” He trails off for a moment. “How can you not be comfortable? I mean, you’re a glitch like me. Aren’t you curious at all? About why we glitched? If there’s anything we can do to fix it?”

And there it is. The lingering fear you’ve been working for two years to overcome. The deep seated insecurity that it’s your fault. That something is fundamentally wrong with you. “Fix me, you mean.”

“I mean, I guess you could look at it that way, but I’m more curious about what kind of solutions there are. I did some research the other day, actually, and there’s this one scholar who thinks that all glitches happen for a reason, that you can still meet your soulmate and get your countdown to turn violet if—”

“Stop!” Your voice is too loud for the small room. “Please,” it’s a whisper now, but somehow just as poignant. “Just stop.”

The crease doesn’t leave his brow. He still doesn’t get it, and he tells you as much. “I don’t understand why you’re so against it. I mean, we finally have a chance to look into why we gli—”

“I said, stop.”

Jungwon looks as if you’ve slapped him. Dumped ice cold water over his head and left him out to dry. There’s an accusation in his words when he says, “I thought you would understand.” And you do. You know how flowers wither when they go without water. You know how love blossoms and blooms and dies all within the span of a single breath. You know what it feels like to have a constant reminder of your most intimate pain seared into your skin, your soul. 

He won’t match your eye. Just aims for the heart instead. “You’re the only person I’ve ever met who understands. Who knows what it’s like. To lose the only thing in life that really matters.” Jungwon’s voice is small, but it’s teeming with frustration, with anger. There’s an unmistakable fury in his eyes when he finally lets his gaze fall on yours. But where he expects to find an apology, or perhaps some sort of agreement, he is met only with a fury to rival his own. 

“Fuck you.” It’s barely decipherable under your breath, but he catches it, even if just barely. 

“What?”

“I said fuck you, Jungwon. How dare you. You think you’re the only one that’s ever been hurt, that you’re the only person that this stupid fucking system screwed over?” And now your anger is rising, ebbing and flowing like waves against a shore, weathering over all the sharp pieces and jagged edges that time hasn’t yet managed to erode. Spilling over onto the table like his forgotten coffee from weeks ago.

“Why do you think I work at the support center? Why do you think you’ve never seen me in a short sleeve shirt?”

You’re angry and you’re hurting and you understand his pain. Feel it reflected in your own, under your skin like an itch you can’t scratch, an ache you can’t get rid of. You don’t know why he wouldn’t just listen to you. 

“At least you get to wonder what might have happened.” You don’t mean to do it, to throw his hurt back in his face. To compare pain, to stack your scars against each other and measure them like there’s a winner and a loser in this game. “I met my soulmate. I met him and talked to him and fell in love with him and he still didn’t want me. It doesn’t matter what some scholar says. You can’t fucking fix that.”

You’re halfway to the door before you can find it in yourself to add, “You’re hurting and you’re lonely and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You don’t deserve that pain and you never will. But I refuse to do this again, to spend the rest of my life thinking there’s something wrong with me, that it’s my fault, that I can fix myself if I just try hard enough. My match glitched. I’m a glitch. But I refuse to let that be the only thing I am.”

The door shuts behind you too loud. Your footsteps feel too heavy as they eat up the ground between you and the library entrance. The air feels too cold as you walk back to your dorm. 

The silence is too loud as you sit alone in it. 

And the mark on your wrist is too gray no matter how you look at it. 

…

Jungwon is antsy. Even with the space of a day between him and your argument, he’s brimming with a sort of uncontained energy that will only spell trouble if he doesn’t find a way to clear his head. He needs to talk, needs to process, but he’s not sure who to go to, who to talk to. 

It’s then that he comes to the startling realization that under any other circumstance, the person he’d want to reach out to, to spill his hearts and guts out to, is you. 

It’s been weeks, a handful of days, a smattering of hours, since you became a name in his mind. A person with an identity outside of the pretty girl that sits in the sixth row of the lecture hall, and yet. 

And yet. 

He’s suddenly overcome with the urge to reach for his phone, to send a message, make a phone call that would land home. But that’s where his better judgment catches up. 

Because he’s not sure what he’d say. An apology is in order, surely. He still sees the way pain etched itself into your features, the way your shoulders caved in at his suggestion for a topic change. 

He’s not sure if it’s something that can be remedied with words, but he is certain he never wants to see that look on your face again. 

An apology it is, then. But for what? And why?

If he’s honest with himself, he still doesn’t understand. 

So he lets his confusion carry him to the only place he thinks he might find an answer. 

The girl smiles, a generic greeting falling from her lips before she looks up at the sound of the bell over the door ringing, signaling a visitor. 

Alina, it must be, if your descriptions are anything to go by. Another person that Jungwon’s become familiar with in the past few weeks, albeit only through secondhand accounts. 

And you must have done the same for him, because she’s quick to make the shock that flickers over her features with something careful, guarded. 

“Hi,” she says then, standing from her seat. “I’m Alina.” She looks him over one more time, something akin to a sigh escaping. “You must be Jungwon.”

Alina, as it turns out, is surprisingly easy to talk to. He understands why you like her so much. 

In a matter of minutes, an account of your last library session has been reconstructed, laid bare in front of eyes that know you best. 

Alina is silent for a moment, turning over arguments from an invisible debate in her mind. Finally, she says, “It’s not my story to tell.” He figured as much. “But I think she would, if you asked.”

Jungwon nods. It’s permission. From an indirect source maybe, but hope flutters through his chest all the same. 

There’s a pause before she speaks again. “What I can say is that she’s done a lot of work to move on. To find meaning in her life outside of the number on her wrist. To stop feeling… incomplete, like a problem to be solved.”

And I threw those fears back in her face. 

The despair must play out on his features, because Alina is gentle when she says, “I won’t pretend to know what it’s like, but I do know how it feels to grieve for what could have been. It’s easier sometimes, I think, to let that consume you. To spend your life trying to get as close to that lost future as you can, even though you know it will never be quite right. Even though you know you’re chasing ghosts.”

Alina folds her hands across her lap, lacing her fingers together. 

“She made the decision to let those ghosts rest, to let that part of her life go. To find something else worth living for instead. For the small moments, maybe. For joy, for love. All those things that she still gets to feel.” That you still get to feel. Alina doesn’t say it, but Jungwon hears it all the same. “Those things that nothing, not even fate, gets to take away.”

Jungwon glances at his wrist. It’s covered, but he can feel the weight of it, of the gray numbers that he knows, deep down, will never fade. Will never change. 

And for the first time in a long time, they don’t feel so heavy. 

“I… Thank you.” For telling him. For helping you. For being here. “For all of it.”

“Of course.” Alina smiles. Lets her fingers fall to her sides as she stands, brushing invisible dust off of her lap. “Joy is even better when it’s shared, no?”

Joy is even better when it’s shared. 

For the first time in a long time, Jungwon smiles. A real smile, a face-splitting, uncontrollably wide smile. One that reaches all the way to his eyes. 

It’s still there when he’s walking back to his dorm, when he sits down at his desk, when he turns on the last playlist he was listening to earlier just for something to fill the silence. 

After a handful of moments, a familiar melody lilts through his speaker. 

Clair de Lune. 

Looking at the computer in front of him, he thinks fate just might be a tangible thing. 

He feels it in his throat first and then the base of his nose. That telltale sting that comes at the first sign of tears. 

He lets it. Lets them fall. Hard, long sobs that wrack his body and leave him gasping for air. Sorrow and grief and anger and joy all tangled together in one. 

Because Jungwon is done mourning himself, the ghost of a life that has haunted him for the last year. The weight of possibilities that time cannot undo, that sheer will alone cannot change. 

Joy is even better when it’s shared. 

And he thinks he’ll start with himself. 

…

The unexpected knock on your front door comes just too late at night for you to feel entirely comfortable opening it on your own. Footsteps padding as silently as possible towards the entrance, you run through the short list of people you think could possibly be at your dorm at this hour and come up blank. 

Against your better judgment, you undo the latch, opening the door slowly like that will somehow deter any unwanted visitors. 

The sliver of space reveals not a threat, but someone that has your brow pulling downwards, relief quickly replaced by confusion. 

“Jungwon? How did you—”

But explanations are not at the top of his priority list. “I’m sorry,” he breathes, releases all at once. “I don’t…” a pained expression crosses his features. “I’m not good with words, and I don’t know what the best thing to say is, but I’m sorry. I never should have said those things about you, about us. I—we’re not glitches.” He pauses, frowning. “I mean, we are, but that’s okay. We’re okay. There’s nothing to fix, and I’m sorry that I made it sound like I think otherwise. I…” He trails off again, swallowing a lump in his throat. “You have to know that I think the world of you. I would never, never want to say or do something that makes you—oof.”

His words die with the sudden impact of your head on his chest, arms wrapping tight around his shoulders. Shock renders him immobile for just a moment before he’s melting into your touch, returning your embrace with one of his own as his arms twine around your back. 

It’s all there, wrapped up in this moment. A solid foundation. A warm place to land. Things that futures can be built upon. Things that can breathe life into possibilities, into almosts. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, and it’s lost somewhere against the skin of his neck. 

“For what?”

“For being here.”

You mean it. He knows it. 

“It’s the only place I wanted to be.”

He means it. You know it. 

…

“Where are you taking me?”

“You know, the more you keep asking that question, the less inclined I am to answer.”

“We’ve been walking for thirty minutes,” you argue. “Don’t I deserve some kind of explanation?”

“That’s what the coffee was for.” Jungwon grins, one of those real ones that lights up his eyes. One that has you returning a smile of your own, despite your complaints. “To distract you through the physical labor.”

“Well, we can’t all be on the taekwondo team.”

Jungwon just rolls his eyes. “We’re almost there. I promise.”

And despite it all, you believe him. Because it’s been months since you turned in your project, since your class ended, and he’s still here. Still a permanent fixture in your life. Still responsible for so many moments you look forwards to, so many moments you look back upon fondly. 

Because despite the gray numbers on your wrists, you’re both dressed for the weather. Welcoming summer heat with short sleeves and smiles to match. 

Because there’s no one else you’d walk thirty minutes towards an undisclosed location for. 

Because there’s no one else that understands you the way he does, gray soulmate marks aside. Because to him, you’re just you. A person capable of joy and anger and grief and love and all of the beautiful, wonderful, messy things that come with being a human. Not something to fix, not a person to mend. 

Because you think you might love him for it. 

Because you know you do. 

And when you finally arrive at an oasis of a park ten minutes later, sprawled on a picnic blanket overlooking a pond, you’ll turn to him and whisper some nonsense about recent studies showing that soulmates often find each other surrounded by nature. 

He’ll roll his eyes, brush a strand of hair off your forehead while he tells you that he doesn’t care, that it doesn’t matter, that it’s all a bunch of nonsense anyway. 

And it will feel like coming home, like resting after a long day, like basking in the first rays of sunshine as winter finally spreads its wings into a glorious spring when he intertwines his fingers with yours and tells you that he thinks you’re beautiful. 

Fate is a funny thing, you’ll think to yourself as his breath tickles your neck, sends shivers down the length of your spine. And no matter how many nights we’ve spent berating it, resenting it, cursing it, I’ll always be grateful that it has led to this. Or maybe we led it, grabbed fate by the collar and forced it to bend to our whims like the masters of destiny we are.  

Whatever it may be, I’m glad it brought me here. 

To joy. To love. 

And most of all, to you.