Spoken Thoughts - Tumblr Posts
what did i do to deserve this?
it’s the question we ask ourselves
everytime something happens to us,
it‘s the question we always ask in our head,
but we never say it out loud.
i always ask myself why?
why do we ask this question in our head?
most never dare to say it out loud,
but why?
i think it‘s because most are afraid
of the answer,
or maybe because we don‘t want to be
judged by others.
we don‘t want an answer because
for the most,
it‘s just an rhetorical question.
most don‘t really want an answer,
or maybe they just don‘t expect one.
most don‘t want an answer because,
they think people don‘t understand what happend,
or why they even ask.
but maybe that‘s where people are wrong.
sometimes you need to say it out loud.
sometimes we need to get it off of our shoulders.
so next time,
say it out loud,
even when people don‘t understand why.
even when you don‘t expect an answer.
even when you are afraid to be judged.
just say it out loud.
-what did i do to deserve this?
In my silent sea Rippling calm Alone at last I can breathe. Unwritten my thoughts are safe Unspoken my voice won't quake In my silent sea I don't have to pretend I'm okay. I should have known better than to trust you I let you lace my drink with poison And poured it down with the ghost of a smile Blood dripping, cold denial My Red Room haze I'm falling again. In my silent sea No one's here except for me Warbled, jumbled Voices taking root, finding anchor Hushed breath, desperate prayers Whispered into sheets, a lullaby.
Silent killer Lilac blue That was the colour I painted you. Soft and gentle Warm and sweet You tied me to a stake And set fire to my pain. In my silent sea I'm safe to be Be who I want Without fear of discovery An ache between ribs The place you tore out my heart. In my silent sea You can't hurt me.
Tenebrous
AN: I’ve always wanted to write a poem with the word tenebrous woven throughout and I’m so glad that it finally came to me after a year or searching for the right words. 💜 Also, I accept poetry requests or commissions, just send it along in my ASK box. :D
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You are tenebrous in the way you hold me Hands cradling my body like I’m the owner of a broken wing. The words you whisper in my ear jagged, pinching off In a wince as you push me away, and I’m left standing Alone searching for you in the chamber of my mind. You are tenebrous in the way you kiss me Gently at first and then with more force Like your trying to take my oxygen and heal Yourself, but I’m tired so tired of being your Emotional outlet, but I’ll keep panting in hopes It soothes the crease between your brows And keeps you happy when we’re together. You are tenebrous in the way you talk to me Some days it feels like those three little words I’ve waited to hear for so long are right there doing A balancing act on your tongue, but right before they fall, You jerk them back and move on to something you didn’t Mean to say at all leaving me aching and hungry to hear it Just hear it once. You are tenebrous as the nightmares that haunt me In which you don’t exist and the world without you Is a pained grief-stricken cry, the sunlight snuffed out As I’m caught in the never ending night wondering if love Is alive in you—capable of growing in you—or if it was just Some feverish dream that I dreamt when I was sick and had A fever of 102.
You are tenebrous and I realize now that I never once Had you, and that you never once loved me because you aren’t Capable of love—not yet that is—because you are a spring Shriveled by the cold winter’s breeze, the love you once housed No longer warming your fingers as they brush the tears from my cheek. You are tenebrous, Hard to understand, Vague, obscure, and Drenched in the shadows Of the past that riddles you With scars and stains your skin With an inky blue mark reminding me That our love was only ever tenebrous.