Thaunknowndreadhead - Tumblr Posts - Page 3

So wanna post a song but I feel like someone's gonna steal it. Lol

I'm trying this climb. It's a mountain. Kilimanjaro like. It's called life though. Been climbing for a long time. I'm not giving in to the self hate. All the forces working against me in this realm and the unseen, fuck off. I hate cursing, but fuck off for real.

Love is a lie. People only love you in the event that you can give them something.

I know of those that will disparage me in my demise.

Ever see jealousy in a person that you love?? It's a scary experience and realization of the fragility of the human heart. Even when the jealousy is subtle but still noticeable. It's screams loud! Like it is the worst site for me because I don't carry jealousy as strongly as others. We are all different and carry human weaknesses, but for me to see it in a family member, so much so, to the point it has you sitting and feeling perturbed and watching there helpless self raging at another person they claim to love???!!! Humans, WE ARE FRAGILE. In one way or another we are. But loving others is my true way. I just don't, of all I deal with, carry jealousy. It just does not exist in me anymore. As a child it did (in all of us I'm sure of it). But I don't know. We all fall short in many MANY different ways. I'm working on loving myself more. Most others lash out in person. We are all different. But I can't help thinking that if we all treated eachother the way we want to be treated, it would solve ALOT. But humans will NEVER adopt that very simple rule. I THINK, I DONT KNOW, but I think that's the MAIN reason we can't come to peace. I think if people loved people the way that they are, we wouldn't suffer as much as humans. I think that's why I am the way that I am. Ithink the people around me forced myself into myself to be a loner because I, something in me, sees that people are very VERY cruel. No matter how nice we are to them. Big human flaw, amongst many others.

Ok look I don't usually say certain things unless it's affecting me personally so...look please stop following or agreeing with memes as if they are a way to live your life. Meme culture is funny and can express real thoughts and feeling, but don't adopt and agree with every meme you see. They are opinion mostly and I get the people have similar opinions. But don't be the one that jumps on the band wagon because it's "popular", popular doesn't necessarily express truth because everyone is different. You can't just blindly agree with a meme everytime you see one because you don't know what mind state that person was in when they made it. I know it seems I'm making it out to be a big deal or problem, but it is. People effect other people negatively because of what some meme said and it's not right. Yet again I say this, treat others the way you want to be treated. Nobody will listen nobody will respond and that's ok. I want individuals who are meant to see this, and need to see this, to see this.

Ever have family say "It's ok" or "you are welcome anytime" and you still feel un-welcomed and uncomfortable and like as if they regretted their attempt to seem or be welcoming and they mean good but life is just bullshit and they want to make you feel comfortable and happy probably but you'rejust not comfortable truly becauseyour an introvert and not a people person and no matter how comfortable they want to make you feel, you just aren't comfortable physically or mentally?????

Lust is loves crafty partner in crime, they stay ready to assassinate you and ruin your fukn life. Lust is the deceitful poisonous, but sweet, antifreeze, while love holds a bad bipolar side that makes you feel like dying. Both inherently deadly.

Fear of the Unknown by Thaunknowndreadhead

Joint my brother and I put together

That whole thing where you stop calling and life progresses and then you finally see people and realize how much time you've missed, is a very real thing. And it hurts. I feel like I'm going to experience that I've already experienced it a couple of times and I hate that feeling it's a very dark and scary feeling that's the best way I can describe it but it just doesn't feel right. And the feeling that you're never really going to get help for whatever it is you're going through. Whatever it is I'm going through should I say. It's like a forever lost feeling the feeling that family members will grow and progress or whatever, and it's kind of like life just ran by at a flash and you didn't get a chance to actually enjoy it and it left you behind. I'm not even that old and I feel like this is already happening to me..... the depression never stops it just kind of eases up every once in awhile. I hate this s***

If there isn't one flaw in a person, within there awaits another.

~Thaunknowndreadhead~

"Win some you lose some" Easy to say, hard to accept. Especially when your losses outweigh your wins.

Having the capacity to realize that you are human and knowing what being human possibly means, while possessing and suppressing the inner shadow is absolutely terrifying. Everyone possesses an inner shadow, or in other words parts of ourselves that we subconsciously reject. Depending on how long you have suppressed that inner shadow determines how strong that shadow will have grown. Which is also very uncomfortable to realize. It makes existence even more painful, as some inner shadows are too morbid to unsuppress.

I'm trying to figure myself out, I believe this is why I struggle. I believe this is why I, and alot of people, develope depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. We realize how greatly unaccepted certain subconcious shadow aspects of ourselves are, so we keep it suppressed in an effort to circumvent the chance of the execution of that shadows actions and consequently a counter effect of that is that it grows into an unbearable entity of its own in the form of addiction, mental health struggles and erratic behavior,or, the utmost; AND UNWANTED action being impulsive execution of the suppressed shadows behavior. Which is inherently a part of ourselves and is what most of us fear and despise as to why we suppress it. Depending on events that occurred uniquely to the person during their upbringinging, the shadows make up reflects, and, differs in various ways from person to person. There are many examples of what actions the shadow consists of. All of those actions we want to prevent from coming to pass. The possibility, and the realization of the chance of such actions occurring in a vulnerable human moment, is unsettling. So we isolate or become introverted. This could be a result of realizing your differences and accepting those differences, or it could be an attempt to avoid the emotional pain of being ostracized.

Just some thoughts.

Not supposed to be eating candy even though technically it is plant-based.. but I'm trying to feel a little bit of nostalgia from childhood. Life has been getting rough and I'm in a tight spot right now and I have been for a long time. Just trying to capture a little bit of piece akin to the peace I experienced during my childhood.

Cognitive dissonance is a terrible phenomenon as it can put all of our fates as humans at risk, especially for a person that has dealt with trauma and abuse. Yes we are all responsible for our choices, but sometimes those choices are often autopilot actions. People have road rage, humans don't treat others the way they want to be treated, someone can accidentally bump into somebody or step on their shoe by accident and suddenly people are ready to kill over such miniscule split second happenings! Which is unfortunate because people don't WANT to do bad things to other people.. at least not intentionally I think. But sometimes "good" people end up doing things that they regret and it's an unfortunate result of cognitive dissonance, and cognitive dissonance existing within a person who has dealt with trauma or abuse seems to be the main reason why the abused, often times, become the abuser. It's a result of the person not knowing how to handle the emotions resulting from the trauma. So in a given, sudden, situation that causes a certain stress or trigger, the person is at risk of defaulting into mirroring or reenacting their abuse experience, even though it goes against their true morals and even if its not with malintent. Cognitive dissonance can have it to where a person is aware of conflicting views or desires but not knowing what to do with them. So the persons reaction to the cognitive dissonance may be stress, crying spells, anxiety, isolation, depression or worsening depression, and it can keep people trapped in drug abuse or cause people to start abusing drugs and new development of other mental health complications or, as foretold, reenacting or mirroring the abuse. A very unfortunate fate.

No one is perfect. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Watch "Doctrine of Balaam" on YouTube

Stop the p***

WHAT IS LOVE IF GOD ISNT IN IT?

The heart is deceitful...Everybody wants the truth but can't handle it/ everybody tells lies and can't manage them...... our society suffers from a bad case of cognitive dissonance....people will stay claiming that they're really real but when the truth hit they deny it disregard it dont question it or dont know how to feel/ people will stay claiming that their love is really real but let's be real they dont even know how true love really feels/ LOVE HURTS!/ Or atleast what we think is love hurts... especially if it wasn't how you expected to experience it!/ It shows up uninvited and presents itself as serious! I THINK IT'S FIERY PASSION! ITS LUST THAT IS THE WOLF IN LOVES CLOTHING!..Im starting to learn that If God wasn't put first in it then it don't matter/ I've seen it myself relationships around me always got shattered/ or get a bit hasty/ start off good then end crazy/ although that depends on the type of bond but failure never ceases to amaze me/ with how love last nowadays my thought is, "Will it last??"....MAYBE/ I want relationships for people to workout but they never do/ Im fully convinced that love today is rare, a narrow point of view in the eyes of only few..a lack or an absence of Gods point of view/ took a painful fall from grace/ I made some misguided decisions and big mistakes/ finding out it wasn't love shook my world, a cat 7 earthquake/ through Godless endeavors/ I crippled my own feathers/ I flew straight into the devil's DECIETFUL stormy weather/a trap that I thought was love was my lifes biggest error. I didn't ask for this...The heart is deceitful.

"It's Lust that is the wolf in Loves clothing!"

Don't fall for the lies.