Dnd Shenanigans - Tumblr Posts
I love that my current dnd tables characters are just
Princess Peach
Owl with a weird staff
Druid that can’t Druid
Bard that plays the bagpipes instead of hitting the monsters
Communist
Nah, you got everything, just a couple wrong names, it's Ivory Enclave, not Emerald and the dumb spelling of Zach Danger is Zhackgh Danjer. It makes my notes a nightmare. And I can go over the Lich thing lmao
So the Lich thing is a tavern and Inn called the Lich's Bitch and is run by Lady Sybill. During a return trip after dealing with the temple that centered around Zhackgh, we saw that Sybill was hurt. Mushy, one of the two children we the party have adopted basically, tried healing Sybill to no avail.
Mushy than told Ashton, a roburt (robot, said Burtle style) and Ashton proceeds to say very loudly "What do you mean Healing Word didn't work on Sybill?" And then chaos ensued. Turns out, Sybill was the lich! But they're chill and undead goal Is to try every food or dish in existence. Peri learns this because she tried to damage control :D
Hey are you done with your lame school junk so I can try to catch you up on DND?
Yeah, finally.
Proud, Yet Really Frustrated
I was DMing for some friends of mine, and for two of them it was their first time ever playing DnD. So I decided why not create a hunger games campaign, since almost everyone knows about the hunger games. Making it something that is in their comfort zone and forces me as a DM to control 5-6 other NPC’s. (I wanted to challenge myself). I also had all their characters be at level 4 because that is a fun level that they won’t get one shot in.
Anyways one of the events I had scheduled for the events in the game itself was they were attacked by many small puffy flying dandelion looking creatures and they would progressively buzz louder and louder till they started doing psych damage. I had suspected them to simply plug their ears or jump in some water to muffle it, which would have worked. But, no one wizard decided that he was not going to do that and instead casted deafness on himself and his allies. I am almost ashamed I didn’t think of that before hand. But, on the plus side they were to scared to drop the deafness until the hour was up because they kept rolling lower than a 10 on perception rolls. So I got the joy of listening to three men scream at each other that “they can’t hear what your saying” for about 10 minutes. Because they wanted to act that out...
May I interest yall in some
Half orc lady with an ear necklace?
((Her name is Hundur btw))
All that crazy, and this guy still uses a bow better than me!🤣
So you know how every DM has this one over powered character, thats supposed to offer up some info, but generally doesn't help the party?
Yeah our DM had one.
He was a bartender at the Village Inn we were staying at, I was a Tiefling Bard, My friends were a Tiefling cleric (Z), a Drow fighter (M), a human rouge (Mol), and a tiefling rouge (In) .
Anyway Me, Z and M had known each other before hand in this one-shot, and were going to fight some dragon for M’s boss. Mol and In were seated in the bar.
Anyway the Bartender was a HUGE dude, had weapons on his back and was generally scary.
So I dont want to pay for my drink, so i offer to tell him a joke for a drink. He accepts, saying that its hard to make him laugh. While M and Z are talking around.
So i roll a 17, and i succeed; anyway he reaches over the counter and hands me the grossest drink I have ever seen.
“Here, our free drinks.”
I have a rep of getting pissed off easily and the party knows this, the DM however, does not.
I smile sweetly, not noticing In who had come up to me and said “Here let me buy you-” before my 5′1 level one character throws the drink in the bartenders face.
The tables sillent for a moment, Mol and M are shaking their head, while the DM looks shocked. He says roll initiative.
And that my friends, is how i got a rep for being Chaotic stuipd. And got kicked out of a bar.
So funny moment from dnd today:
The party gets off a ship into the land of the forgotten and approaches a man with a clipboard who is keeping track of those entering the island
We introduce ourselves to the man and he marks 5 of our names with red x’s
The man: “this is the land of the forgotten where people go to be forgotten and where criminals are sent to be gotten rid of. Some of you should be more careful as people will want you gone either for a bounty, your past, or your race”
The man points at the human sorcerer(idk why), goliath cleric (cult leader and runaway slave), high elf warlock (stole an ancient artifact and follower of the aforementioned cult), the tiefling artificer [me] (teifling typically have a bad rep and, from what I’ve heard, it’s even worse in this campaign), and I forgot the 5th person
We proceed to get jumped by bounty hunters, a gun is to the goliaths head and a knife is to our eladrin fighters throat
Everyone panics
…understandably so
People are yelling trying to talk the bounty hunters out of killing people, people are debating running, nothing is getting done
Like 5 minutes into this chaos I ask to make a perception check which causes a cutscene that literally just fixes everything as a level 20 npc (a mentor character) points a shot gun at the bounty hunters and tells them they messed with the wrong people (he is a comrade of the eladrin fighter and both are war heroes)
This was the dms plan
We panicked for nothing
My D&D group, more specifically a friend, my mom, and I, gaslighted a zombie into decapitating itself by accident. My mom’s character is Shozbot, a blue dragonborn druid. My friend is the DM. My character is Spider, a kobold rogue. This is more or less what happened.
Zombie, sitting in a throne and holding a longsword: “Who dares awaken me from my slumber?!”
Shozbot: “This is a dream. We’re not really here.”
DM, laughing: “Roll persuasion”
My mom: “Seventeen.” (This was impressive enough because she always rolls low)
Zombie: *after pondering this for a moment, cuts off own hand with the longsword, then looks at the wound, visibly confused* “I should be in immense pain right now.”
Spider: *realizing that zombies don’t feel pain because they’re already dead*
Zombie, staring at the stump of their hand, still baffled: “This isn’t a dream. It’s a nightmare.”
Spider: “But now that you’re aware that it’s a dream, you can control what happens. That’s how it works.”
Zombie: “Yes. That makes sense.”
After trying to alter the “dream,” and failing to do so, the zombie ended up intentionally using the longsword to cut off their own head. I missed some things, like the zombie mentioning that they’d be able to cut off their own hand with no pain in a dream, and Shozbot suggesting that the zombie should remove their own head instead. So, this happened less than an hour ago. And it worked. When the zombie asked why we were there, we didn’t really know what to say, so my mom, as Shozbot, said something stupid and it worked. This is part of why I love D&D so much. Because stupid things like this can happen.
Thinking and Dreaming, the life Lance lead before he became a cabin boy for several different ships
Official introduction post!! * ☆ ✧• 🎧🦷
Hi my names Milo! I’m into horror podcasts such as tma, chnt and wtnv! I’m also into dnd ,lotr , trop, the Edwardian period and abandoned houses / places. I also really like outfits. Feel free to reach out and make friends:) I’m very friendly.
I also really like brown cats
THIS IS A PSA FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO BUY COOL NOTEBOOKS AND CAN NEVER FIND SOMETHING COOL ENOUGH TO PUT IN THEM
start playing dnd, use them to take notes on the campaign. send a picture to your dm before the first session and have them choose a notebook that fits the campaign. use a different one for each campaign, at the end of each one you’ll have your own cool story book!! and the best part is that you and all your party members also have their own perspective!! :)
~stupid spell idea~
(ignorance is) Bliss
Can be cast by anyone with low wisdom regardless of race. Once cast all party members roll wisdom with advantage for the rest of the session out of pure disbelief that someone can be so stupid however, anytime they roll concentration it’s with disadvantage because the pure stupidity is too distracting.
If cast during a fight it stuns an enemy for one turn out of confusion and disbelief of just how stupid what the caster just said was. If the caster rolls high enough the receving enemy may be stunned for one turn and, use their next turn to tell some of their allies of the casters stupidity stunning however many allies are closest to them.
opening of a packet against enemy causes them to lose track of where they are, confusing them for the rest of the fight, all rolls are with disadvantage. they “get lost in the sauce” if you will.
cursed campaign idea
no dice :) use playing cards :) dm says ‘go fish’ when ur supposed to roll :)
“It’s not like I could have done anything! It’s their party, I’m just a benevolent dictator!”
-A line from our dungeon master after the one absentee of the session (the diplomatic one) found out of the chaos from the group and how they basically mauled each other’s eyes out
Dm'd my first campaign yesterday, and before I thought my players would be tame because they're all first time players.
Then I give them their first npc: olly who is a trader who is stuck under a cart in a dungeon.
2/6 of my players react normal want to help him
2/6 ask wether they can loot the tipped over cart (while cart is still on trader)
1/6 wants to harm him because he is human
1/6 is intimidating him to get is belt
I think future sessions with new NPCs will be interesting with these kinds of reactions ⊙﹏⊙
Seasoned, OG dnd players: “I love playing dungeons and dragons because I get to role play being a powerful knight and slaughter goblins!”
New wave dnd players: “I love playing dungeons and dragons because I get to role play having control over my life and loving my friends with reckless abandon!”