For Him - Tumblr Posts
What crime was committed when I stared at your eyes; pondered on the depth concealed within their blackness? Was me locking gazes with you appeared felonious? Have you been offended by the manner I looked? Like I was probing, searching for something. Perhaps a soul I've been wanting to catch. A treasure buried beneath your retinas. Even behind bushy brows, the truth of my guilt can easily be proved. The intent to gain can suffice through my overt acts. Beyond reasonable doubt.
And I will willingly take the stand so I can spill my truth to the world. How I actually stole glances of you for a long time. Near or far, I always managed to look; has always found a way despite unfavorable circumstances. For I seem to gravitate towards you like you're a tenacious force drawing me closer.
No, I won't pay a counsel to turn the table in my favor. I will talk, willingly. Take the chance and tell my truth to the aloof jury. I won't prepare any defense nor hold my silence. I will raise my hand in total surrender and confess the truth, nothing but the truth to the hushed court.
I did steal glances of you in several instances. Deliberately. And in one occassion, I managed to stare at you deeply while holding my breath. As though it's a matter of life and death. Now that you have caught me, what crime was committed, if any? Don't worry, I won't try to contest whatever it is that you charge me. But should you allege theft against me, I will try to raise this rebuttal as lovingly as possible: Is it still stealing when it's already stolen?
I stated it outrightly. I stole glances of you baby before I finally managed to get closer and aimed for your heart. And the best part is that you just sat there and let me.
-Stole your heart but you sat there and let me
Katie, 19:00
Love me on ordinary days. When the sky is grey and I am silent in a corner, trying hard not to cry. It may not be the best sight to behold in a day. But it is when I need your arms the most. So pull me closer, lock me into that warm embrace. Not because it's my birthday or the wind feels insanely cold like December. But because I am breaking in a rapid avalanche. All the emotions bottled are finding their way out. And my heart, though it beats weakly, it is full of hope that the grey sky will turn bright again. And we can lie on our backs to watch the stars again. Love me when I can't even have faith with the fading hues. Be here with me. Hold me as I weep because your touch makes everything feels easier. Your hands can lift my burden like a feather. I don't know how you do that. And it enthralls me that you feel like my silver lining. My blue sky. My home.
Love me on ordinary days. When bouquet of Roses become cliché and the world only showers affection on Valentine's Day. For even sweet nothings are slowly fading as people have grown weary of love songs. It's getting cold. Hearts are slowly turning into steel. And I am painfully dying inside. Look me in the eye for your gaze melts the ice engulfing my soul. Making me bereft of feelings. Making me neglect the essence of standing here with you, watching the bustling metropolis throbs with life and dreams and thousand promises.
Love me on ordinary days. When my hideous smile tries to hide the lies and the grief that comes after an awkward goodbye. And all my fragile sighs, those sounds I make in the dark. They give away my inhibitions. They crack my protective shell so that I am expose with my stark nudity. In those moments I try to elope with negativity, catch me. Don't hesitate to hold me. I may be as stubborn as hell but I will listen to your voice. For you always silence me like no one could. You always stop me from running scared. You. My safe haven. So call my name and I will hear you over the cacophony.
Love me on ordinary days. Listen to the fragile sounds of my heart shattering. Know that as it breaks into pieces, into thousand shrieking wishes, it bears your name. Pick me up piece after piece. Scope me in your arms and make me whole again. Expunge those howling sounds that make me fragile as a glass. And make me believe in happy endings. Restore my faith again. Make me the child who believes in promises again.
Love me on ordinary days. Under the grey sky, against the storm and the pouring rain. Love me. I could not ask for anything more appropriate. Just love me.
-Love me on ordinary days (Fragile sounds)
Katie, 02:00 AM
I stare at your eyes, deeper...
deeper...
deeper...
Seek for the warmth that is no longer there.
For the warmth,
Katie, 05:00
Trapped between
The devil
And the deep blue sea
Hear me
Your name
Is all I can utter
Save me from the dumps
As though I am worthy
Of the touch of your hands
Of the glimmer of your eyes
Of the beauty of your smile
Of the shower of your love
Everything you can offer
The whole of October
If you may,
Stay with me
By my side
As though I am worthy
To play with destiny
-By my side,
Katie, 11:00
I hate falling asleep
I stay awake
As much as I can
Reality, it is more beautiful
Far more beautiful
Than my dreams
Now that you're here
With me
-Stay awake,
Katie, 11:25
Someday, you will fall in love. And it's not going to be the feeling you've grown accustomed to. Those years filled with wild butterflies? Bouquet of roses? Spark in the eyes? All sweet nothings that send you to cloud nine? No, it's not going to be that. Your next love story will be a mess. A total mess. As if a tornado has passed and disarranged everything in your life. And you will begin to question all that you ever believed in. You will begin to weigh what's worth your time and what's not. But you will be strong. This kind of love will make you strong. It will cause you to scream at the top of your lungs in the middle of the night when you have nothing left to give. It will make you doubt every promise that has ever said in the name of passion or commitment. You will uncover lies under beautiful flashes of skin and smiling faces that look like a dream. It will make you cringe against a gust of wind coming from an open window. It will make you bleed. But it won't leave you weak. It will make you strong. And you will appreciate it more than anything in this world. The moment this kind of love finds its way to your heart, you will be the bravest woman ever lived. All because you will be able to handle it.
-Not your usual love,
Katie, 18:00
Cups of coffee do not work their magic on me these days. They don't keep me awake.
Thoughts of you do.
(So I think of you all the time)
Katie, 24:00
In another universe
I hope we already met
That we spend time
Talking,
Laughing,
Watching the sunset
I wonder if in that universe
I write poems for you
And if I do
I hope you love them so
For in this universe,
I do write for you
A lot
But my words just wither
In the corner
Frozen in time
Concealed like secrets
Never meant to be unraveled
Destined to stay in the darkness
In this universe,
I am just a writer
Who beholds you with a sigh
Suppress a cry
As I immortalize
Your heart that has always belonged
To someone
In another universe....
Someone in another universe ,
Katie, 24:00
In another universe
I hope we already met
That we spend time
Talking,
Laughing,
Watching the sunset
I wonder if in that universe
I write poems for you
And if I do
I hope you love them so
For in this universe,
I do write for you
A lot
But my words just wither
In the corner
Frozen in time
Concealed like secrets
Never meant to be unraveled
Destined to stay in the darkness
In this universe,
I am just a writer
Who beholds you with a sigh
Suppress a cry
As I immortalize
Your heart that has always belonged
To someone
In another universe....
Someone in another universe ,
Katie, 24:00
Sometimes my heart is empty
Sometimes it's full of you
And all the moments in between
I cling into a string
With every gust of wind
Gently, I swing
In my mind I hear you sing
And I am lost
Between the lyrics
Oh you are
A song I can't forget
You're stuck
Deep inside my head
A persisting memory
Your voice resounds
I am lost
Between the emotions you evoke
When my heart is empty
You fill it up again
With feelings more profound
Than the last one it kept
The austerity
Of the lines you sing to me
Stops me from running
Mesmerized by the melody
I am not
The kind of person
Who admires
Singers
And all their poignant lines
But for you
I will make an exemption
For you always fill me
With waves of euphoria
That I forget
The chaos in my head
For you silence
The howlings from the dead
I buried beneath the sands of time
Oh you fill me
With your spilling pieces
And yet
I feel empty
Like I can't get enough
So I spread
Myself like a giant sponge
I'll absorb you
All of you
Until every song you sing
Becomes one
With my poetry
-One with my poetry,
Katie, 22:30
We're liars.
//
Me, I lie to protect my heart
While you,
You lie so it won't break
Like a glass
That can never be put back
Together regardless
Of efforts
To assemble the pieces
It's not a puzzle
And the cracks will be there
A reminder
Of a painful history
We tried to prevent somehow
By lying...
//
I say I don't love you
Force the words out
Make myself believe
They are true
But the truth
It burns beneath
The ground where I stand
Broken hearted
Shaking in my own fury
Consumed by the gravity
Of the words I just set free
Well everything is noetic
The mind could be both
A blessing and a curse
Affecting all elements
And words...
Words have weight, all right
Once spoken
They drag you down
Like shackles
Attached to your feet
//
You say you love me
All lies, of course
There is no sign of mirth
In your eyes
As the words escape
Your trembling mouth
You think these could cloth me
In winters to come
Could hold me somehow
So I won't fall to the ground
Watch me swing like a pendulum
You don't know how tiring it is
To be suspended in mid air
Trying hard to believe
You told the whole truth
In my face
Well I hear it loud and clear
Baby you don't
No, you don't love me at all
'Cause...
//
We're liars
//
Both of us.
You,
When you say I love you
Me,
When I say goodbye
-Everything is noetic,
Katie, 12:31
But we're under
The same blue sky
You and I
Illuminated
By the same stars
At night
Don't think
Distance
Is keeping us
Apart
For we're entangled
In an unbreakable
Embrace
So close your eyes
Feel me
Move with the earth
Beneath you
I'm with you
Always a part of you
Even if you're not
Physically here
We're together
Inextricably linked
To a common destiny
-love in the time of quarantine,
katie, 23rd of March 2020
for him
Some memes I made for @opheliawithrosesinherlungs after our weekly Star Trek viewing 😄
Bank employee setting up my account: What's your major?
Me: English
Bank employee, laughing darkly: Bless you, child.
No, dont look at me like that. I cant stop daydreaming💔
