Friend Quotes - Tumblr Posts
does anyone else keep a quote book in their notes?
In mine I just write the quote with absolutely no context no name no nothing and going through them is like my absolute favorite pastime so I’m gonna share some of my favorites in no particular order.
“SO YOU PISSED IN A PUMPKIN?”
“Winner winner chicken dinner, it was porn.”
“Hold on, soup moment.”
“You are my personal compost bin and eat my daily banana peels.”
“Call me when you have naked statues in your yard.”
“What’s a bronie? A brown pony??”
“YOU’RE THE APPENDAGE.”
“He’s spiritually Canadian.”
“Don’t question the artistic choices of Soulja Boi.”
“I’ll make it sit in the idea jacuzzi.”
“2% skin milk.”
“I announce when I have to shit, you don’t shit. We are not the same.”
my irl friends are so funny so i'll leave a few quotes here:
"i'm nestled up between the fibers of a kleenex wipe"
"she says to [other friend] 'omg imagine having a broken foot' like shut the fuck up i will separate both sides of your brain."
"i can't wait to be homeless and spend my paycheck on bath and body works."
i have so many more but these are my favorites 😭
during class a few months ago, my friend told me "i'm gonna give you an anal lobotomy" and i was like "umm no you're not" cause how else do you respond to that?? 😭
The Marauders and people as things my Friends and I have said Part 2
Marlene (to James): You can tell all your other guy friends that a bunch of gay girls were putting flowers in your hair.
Alice: Give yourself a beard. Be normal.
Remus: Get in the chair.
Sirius: Cucumbers so sexy.
Pandora: Oh no, my fishbowl!
Alice: And Jesus would say “oh my god”.
Regulus: I’m not gonna let that happen because you’re not that amazing.
Barty: You’re the mentally insane version of your grandma.
Regulus: I am emotionally attached to this ruler.
Barty: I’m bored, let’s fry my goldfish.
Sirius: Don’t say the fuck word.
Mary: If I were a kidnapper, I would totally pick you.
Peter: I need my gummy bears so I can kill people.
Pandora: These poles are actually really good for pole dancing.
Sirius: This guy looks like he would hang out in a dumpster with me.
Marlene: That name is perfect for a gay bottom.
Barty: Broski was originated from the Russian president Taylor Swift.
Sirius: So I’m not like the pope…, I’m god.
James: Please stand up and hit the griddy for demonstration.
Sirius: I am a professional look good-er.
Marlene: Weird question, are you gay?
Regulus: The only animal I have in my house is my brother.
Pandora: Friends are like flowers. If you eat them, they die.
Remus: I want to get run over.
Marlene: He just wiggled like a gay man.
James: It’s not burnt, it’s just ripe.
Regulus: Go die.
Evan: Kids in the backseat cause accidents and accidents in the backseat cause kids.
Lily: Don’t body shame the thick bread.
Sirius: I’m not a British gay, I’m an American straight.
Marlene: Get gayed.
Sirius: My mom just made a very PG-13 word sequence.
Marlene: If you eat your child is that cannibalism or incest?
Lily: I’d be hot as a flower.
Evan: I’m technically not a virgin. In Hawaii a wave shot up my ass.
Regulus: Mommy I want a penis, why is it not growing?
Mary: Your butt is being used for the greater good.
Marlene: Do you think demons suck on toes?
Barty: Regulus is my sugar daddy.
James and Regulus in CR: I would have four kids with that man.
Sirius (About Remus): I would literally let him fuck me with a knife handle.
Dorcas: If there were no babies made then there’s nothing to feel guilty about.
Peter: Did you just call your own dad hot?
Sirius: My friends want me, mother.
Marlene: You can tell he’s gay by the way he looks out that window.
James: Nothing gets kinkier than a knife.
Regulus: Apparently I’m running from the trauma of my past.
Sirius: What you did to me on that table is going to leave some bruises.
Frank: Okay we are not raping a dead body.
Barty: I’ll take it as payment.
Peter: Do you have a knee caressing fetish?
Regulus in CR: Oh my god he has a sexy axe.
My friend just said this:
I am screaming or crying or idk something
I couldn’t have come up with better words to describe myself 24/7