Internalized Homophobia - Tumblr Posts

reminder that internalized bigotry isn't a silly quirk of yours! it is a flaw that you have to move past!!!

What's this? Oh... internalized homophobia and religious guilt... fun...

This was out for a while but I wanted to save it for Pride Month because I just thought it portrayed perfectly what this month is for.

Hi Hali! I was looking at your wip list and wow! You have so many amazing fics coming I'm so excited! I really love your writing and your fantasy writing because you always immerse me and no one else writes fantasy and vampires the way you do lol. I noticed on there that you had mem x mem fics and I was wondering if that was going to become a thing for your writing? No hate to people who write them, but they make me uncomfortable because it assumes the boys sexuality so I might just skip those

Hi okay so I have a lot to say here and normally for ask responses that are really long, I would do a read more because I don't want to clog up my follower's dashboards but in light of the content of my response, I'm going to skip the read more because I want people who follow me to understand the way I am going to run my blog and what I will and will not tolerate, as well as a couple of things to understand about me.

First and foremost - thank you for enjoying my work. Readers are incredibly important to this website and those of us who write, so thanks for spending your time on things I've written. Additionally, thank you for taking a second to tell me that you appreciate my work.

This is where my gratitude is going to end. Please understand I know you aren't trying to be hateful, but here is why this entire ask is an issue.

I am bisexual. As in, I like other genders, including my own. I identify as queer, and that is something very new and scary to me and something I have been embracing since 2022, and struggling when coming out to people who have always known me as straight. So while you may not realize that "I like your fics but queer fics makes me uncomfortable" is internalized homophobia, it is. I will address the "assumes sexuality" in a second, but I want to reemphasize that if you read my bio, you can literally see that I'm queer and deduce that going out of your way to tell me that queer content makes you uncomfortable is incredibly hurtful to me - to the effect that writing this response has me in tears.

We are free to curate the spaces that make us comfortable. You are WELL within your right not to read mem x mem content. But please do not go out of your way to tell me you specifically aren't reading my queer content or intend not to. It makes me feel weird, it makes me feel like it's because you don't like members of the gay community (WHICH I AM A PART OF!!!), and it just... costs nothing to skip those in silence, you know?

Now onto your reasoning. Because it "assumes sexuality". This is an inherently heteronormative statement. Assuming that heterosexual relationships are the default, the norm, or the standard alienates the millions of people across the globe who are not straight. It places us in another category of "not normal", and gives people permission to treat us as less than.

When people say things like "assumes sexuality" it is literally ONLY EVER IN REGARD TO QUEER RELATIONSHIPS. The same argument has to be applied to heterosexual relationships if we're going to use this rhetoric. So we can assume they're whatever we want and it's fine but only if they're in male-female relationships?

It's cherry-picking, and it's damaging and hurtful.

I beg you to consider what bothers you about queer media, whether it is a learned behavior, and if you can unlearn it. Members of the queer community have to fight for spaces every single day, and this blog is NOT one I will allow to have taken away from me.

At the end of the day, read what you want. I have a feeling that this ask was not AT ALL meant to warrant this response or to make me feel some type of way, which is why I really want you to consider how telling people that queer media makes you uncomfortable sounds, presents, and makes those people feel.

This really fucking sucked to write and explain. Thanks.

this is amazing and so well tthought out and worded. Its got me thinking about when el emotionally said to brenner "when you left henry in there with the children! Was that the right choice?" Or something like that. Obviously she wasnt being homophobic (😂) but it Gave me the gays=pedophiles vibes

Something that struck me about Will’s bedroom in S4 is how asexually it’s decorated:

This boy is about to turn 15 and yet there’s not a single hunk to be found anywhere on his walls! Being closeted isn’t an excuse – there’s plenty of plausible deniability in having posters of your favourite musicians, athletes, characters, etc, as our extremely heterosexual friend Michael can demonstrate:

Perhaps Will just is asexual. After all, outside of his chaste love for Mike, we only ever see him express his sexuality in the form of revulsion towards girls/heterosexuality; he honestly seems kind of neutral on men in general.

However… I don’t think that’s what’s going on here.

Will happens to conform to certain 80s stereotypes about gay men – he’s sensitive, well-groomed, prefers art over sport – and these traits have made him a target for homophobic abuse, probably since before he even realized he was gay.

Imagine how it must have felt, then, when he finally did realize he was gay. The bullies were right about that, all along. So what else were they right about?

What other stereotypes plagued gay men in the 80s? They were seen as threats that wanted to recruit children into their “lifestyle”…

…as disgusting perverts…

…and as carriers of disease.

Even as a 12 year-old with an innocent crush on his best friend, this poor kid already feels ashamed of a sexuality he hasn’t even matured into yet. So when he does start maturing into it, he represses it.

It’s no wonder that he identifies with Alan Turing, a man who was chemically castrated for being gay.

Who else do we know who might identify with what happened to Alan Turing?

Henry is queer-coded by way of parallels to Will: he’s sensitive, well-groomed, and likes art. Like Will, he had a parent who tried to make him more “normal”. Like Will, he’s suffered abuse for being different.

But Henry is also queer-coded in a way that parallels those homophobic fears about “the gay agenda”: he preys on children, recruiting some and killing the rest. He’s angry at the world for not having space in it for people like him, but it doesn’t occur to him that he could peacefully co-exist with the rest of society – he wants to burn it all down and remake the world in his own image.

The thing is, homophobes are telling on themselves when they express such fears about gay men – because what they fear queer people will do to them is what heteronormative society is already doing to queer people. Like Henry, they think this is a zero-sum game in which only one side can “win”.

So I don’t think Henry’s queer-coding is meant to be read literally as him being a predatory gay man.

Rather, he’s a personification of homophobia: the homophobe’s gay boogeyman made flesh.

(When it comes to other characters, he personifies a more broadly-applicable version of this concept – “forced conformity, that’s what’s killing the kids” – but the Duffers have stated that S5 will focus heavily on Will and his coming of age, so I think this queer reading of Vecna is a deliberate and central one.)

If Vecna represents external homophobia, then the Mind Flayer represents internalized homophobia.

Vecna sends it after Will and it literally gets inside him, burying his true nature under a layer of torment. It’s partially defeated when his family and friends see what’s happening and shower him with unconditional love, but it lingers at the back of his head as he starts to go through puberty, flaring up when he’s near or otherwise thinking about Mike.

The only time he doesn’t have to deal with these flare-ups is when he’s in California, far away from both Vecna and the homophobic town he grew up in. And he gains a lot of confidence in his identity while he’s there!

But, as the asexually-decorated bedroom suggests, he still feels a lot of shame too.

Will can’t fully self-actualize as a gay man until he breaks his connection with Vecna once and for all…

…with the boy who makes him feel like he’s not a mistake by his side.

grahamscott nation how we doin’ >3<

also everyone close their eyes and stop looking at the quality..

MIKE WHEELER

KIERIAN VALENTINE

People have said it in more intelligent ways than I’m going to but the relationship between cis mlm and “straight guy gets turned gay” type of porn is in turns fascinating and relatable and repulsive. It carries over commonly to porn where the bottom is not conventionally queer-looking but instead is quite masculine in some way. It’s like. The internalized homophobia (which is really misogyny dressed up) that frames queer sex and bottoming as a form of degradation. And then that in turn is an outlet for men who imagine themselves as the tops in this scenario, where it becomes a defense against homosexuality on top of a defense against homosexuality. Because you as the top are “forcing” someone else in this scenario to take on the degrading role and this humiliating identity. And in that way removing yourself one step further because it is not JUST a fantasy of kinky degrading sex you’re having but of an act of aggression and violence against another man. I’m doing this to you, I’m making you into this.

Kink is a great way for people from all genders and orientations to explore their own internalized biases and taboos and that’s why I’m really into de transing and breeding and stuff so I’m definitely not knocking anybody who’s into it. I just find it genuinely fascinating to watch cis men show up in droves in the comments of posts that are just plain old “two guys fucking who don’t look conventionally queer” and inevitably always turning it into THIS GUY is STRAIGHT and he’s being FORCED to be GAY like the LITTLE PIG BITCH BOY HE IS.

Whereas it’s so refreshing and lovely to see masc men who don’t fit traditional twinky impressions of queerness joyfully and unselfconsciously participating in subbing and bottoming. I feel for them because their submission so often gets turned into an act of degradation by the very people they are creating this content for? Whether they want it to or not. And we could talk about the way this speaks to how so many mlm see even traditionally skinny femme bottoms and how that impacts THEM but that’s a topic for another day. Anyhow.

CHAPTERED FICS

With Eyes Wide Shut (We’re Close But Not Enough):

Complete (2/2), 28k, friends to lovers, explicit

Fear of Falling:

Ongoing, (4/9), 67k, strangers to lovers, teen and up

Redamancy:

Ongoing (1/5), 6.7k, strangers to lovers, explicit

For The Love Of The Game:

Complete (10/10), 68k, rivals to lovers, teen and up

Strawberry Sky:

Complete (8/8), 42k, established relationship, mature

Clueless:

Complete (7/7), 31k, friends to lovers, explicit

Mercury Retrograde:

Complete (8/8), 44k, exes to lovers, explicit

My Little Secret:

On-going (1/5), +20k, teen pregnancy, explicit later on

MASTER LIST

Many lgbt teenagers and young adults growing up on the internet today have socially conservative beliefs that they voice at all times that they got from their conservative parents which they’ve never challenged because they think the life experience of being gay or trans makes them politically progressive

It's kind of tragic how homophobia affects insecure men.

Like sometimes they want to experiment with a bit of anal and instead of just buying a sex toy and some lube like a normal person, they instead shove random objects up their ass that inevitably get stuck and then they try to get them out by themselves which makes things worse and then they lie to doctors about it and like this all leads to all kinds of extra complications like internal damage, risk of infections, bleeding, the fall of Yugoslavia, etc.

Come on guys, just buy a dildo. It's way safer and it leads to way fewer problems.

karen shetty wouldn’t mind being in love with a girl if it didn’t mean being in love with gretchen wieners.

gretchen wieners wouldn’t mind being in love with karen shetty if it didn’t mean being in love with a girl.

Its giving “I’m difFerent” yeah no shit my writing’s ass when English is my 3rd language. At least when your going to hate, dont be such a pussy by literally going anonymous. And like most x male reader fics on this earth are with people that are straight. “Men aren’t shit” omg Emily you officially made your self look stupid. That your little boyfriend broke up with you and now identifies with being a homosexual and you feel like his test person, is the least of my problems. So don’t go around and hate on somebody else, little bitch.

broo why is everyone hating just because it's male reader... everyone is fine with fem!reader as if boys can't have crushes on neymar or something bruh

anyway I am a boy and I have a massive crush on ney so who's gonna stop me from requesting a neymar x male reader where they flirt in the locker room after a match and it gets spicy 🤭

Tumblr

Neymar Jr x Male Reader

Im so sorry to the anonymous who requested this that you wont get the notification for your request because when i was writing this with the

So i just saw this request and I actually already made something like this, but it’s not spicy sorry!!! And tysm things like that really mean more than you think, it may look like hate doesn’t get to people but many times it does. <3 and you can crush on anyone you want?? Like stol trying to control people!

Asking this for the public opinion and for a school project.

And I would say I love you, but saying it out loud is hard

So I won't say it at all

And I won't stay very long

—Futile Devices, Sufjan Stevens

Many lgbt teenagers and young adults growing up on the internet today have socially conservative beliefs that they voice at all times that they got from their conservative parents which they’ve never challenged because they think the life experience of being gay or trans makes them politically progressive

Fictober Day 8

prompt: "Are we happy"

Fandom: Supernatural

Character: Dean Winchester, Endverse Dean Winchester

Warnings: Internalized homophobia, the F-slur

Summary:

Dean's POV: Dean has a conversation with Endverse!Dean where they commiserate about the future of his relationship with Cas and how it reflects on his own sexuality.

Dean had a lot to think about after his conversation with himself from five years in the future. He was right about one thing, saying yes to Micheal was completely out of the question.

He continued to watch as his alternative self packed for the upcoming mission they were gonna take. It was weird watching himself in the third person. After a few minutes, he finally decided to break the silence left by their previous conversation. “Have we always looked like that when we walk?” 

“Would you be quiet? I only have like an hour to prepare to kill the devil… my brother– our brother.” Future Dean pivoted so he wasn't looking at his past self anymore. It was just as weird for him as it was for his younger counterpart. “Just because this isn’t your timeline doesn't mean the situation is any less severe.” 

“Come on, I have so many questions.”

“Are they about the mission?”

“...No”

“Then I don't wanna hear them.”

“Don’t be like that. When are you gonna get another chance like this? To talk to yourself face to face.”

“I can just look in a mirror.”

“Yeah well, I got questions about our future.”

Future Dean sighs. He hands his past self a pile of shotguns. “You get three questions, I’ll answer whatever you wanna know… but you clean these while we talk.”

Past Dean hesitates before asking his first question “...Any other regrets? Other than the whole ‘not saying yes when you had the chance’ thing.” 

“...Cutting Sam off. I’m pretty sure that’s why he decided to say yes… and I never got to truly forgive him.” 

“That’s all?” 

“...yeah.”

“Bullshit. I know my own lying tells.”

“...I guess sometimes I regret what I said to Cas… but only sometimes.”

“What did you say to him?” 

“Does that count as your second question?”

“Uh– no.”

“Then I've already said too much about it.” 

Past Dean things for a minute. “Oh I know… my question is what's up with Cas?”

“Very clever,” future Dean says sarcastically. “Fine but it's a long story so buckle up.”

“Buckled.”

“Basically… Cas never left my side when the world first went to shit. You know– I don't know exactly when in 2009 you're from but that's when it started. He turned to me after his search for God went nowhere but I barely ever gave him the time of day. And it's not like I couldn't relate I mean… I know a thing or two about being abandoned by your father when you need him most…” 

“You shouldn't say that kind of stuff about Dad.”

“No, I know… but it's not like neither of us have ever thought it before,” he said. “Anyway, back to Cas. He was just always so anal-retentive and uptight that I never appreciated what he brought to the table.” 

“What table?”

“...After some time I started to suspect that Cas… well I thought he might have had a crush on me.”

“Oh,” past Dean says genuinely surprised.

“You didn’t know?”

“Well, I mean… I thought that he was just like that with everyone I didn’t think it was…”

“But regardless of his feelings, I didn’t think I could, ya know… reciprocate them.”

“Well yeah… were not…” Dean cut himself off. “We're not… are we?”

Future Dean looks down. “Living in an apocalypse camp will do that to you… make you think about things you never had to think about before… things you repressed for years…” 

“We can’t be…”

“No yeah, I'm with you. That's why I slept with every woman I could… to prove it.”

“Prove it to who.”

“To me… to you… to every version of myself in every period of my life.” 

“And what about Cas… what did you say to him?”

Future Dean sighs. “I said… that he should think about finding a girl… or else people will start to think he's a faggot.”

“Why would you say that.”

“Because it's true.”

“True for him or for yourself?”

“Ourself” future Dean corrects him.

“No way I’d never–”

“But you did… because I did.”

“But you said you only sometimes feel regret about that…”

“Yeah… anyways we have to leave soon come up with your last question."

“...Are we happy with ourselves?”

“Happy?” future Dean said with a scoff.

“Well not happy– happy but… it's just you’re throwing a lot of things at me and between what you said to Cas and the way you treat the women around here… there's no way you don’t regret how it went down more than you're letting on.” 

“... You're right. If I could go back in time I’d tell Cas to never change anything about himself.”

“And what about you– what about us?”

“It's too late for us.”

Me trying to explain to people I'm not a Swiftie literally sounds like a queer with Internalized Homophobia™️ lmao

"Yeah, I like her music and know all the lyrics to all of her songs and everything about her and oh my god her hair and her eyes and her vibe and just her, but that doesn't mean I'm a Swiftie!"

"I know all the Swifties think I'm a Swiftie too, but come on"

"But I like other music! Wait you're telling me that has nothing do with—"

Reminiscing on my “coming out.” I was so scared. So small, so shaky. So, so scared for so long. It had been over a year of sexuality related anxiety and OCD taking over my life. It almost drove me to take my life. I didn’t want to be who I knew I was that much. Finally…one day, I got the courage to tell someone. I told my sister. I really said it, I said the words “I’m gay” out loud. I did it. It felt like a relief. I was still terrified and shaky, but I was glad to have another person to hold this with me. And then…that same night my sister outed me to my entire family. She didn’t mean to hurt me. I found out that she had been cutting herself, so I told my mom for her safety. In an effort to take my moms attention off of her cutting, she outed me. In front of her friends and my mothers friends. It hurt me so much because this meant that she viewed being gay as something so bad and horrible that it could top her harming herself. I remember getting that text from my mom, feeling my heart drop out of my chest, feeling my throat tighten up. “____ is saying that you’re a lesbian. Is that true?” my mom texted me. She sounded so accusatory, like she was hoping my sister was lying. When they returned to the house, they looked at me differently. They acted nervous and unsure around me. Like I was some caged animal that could break out at any moment. I will never forget that night. It took me so long and it took so much courage for me to tell my sister, and I needed her support because I didn’t have it in me to give it to myself. But she didn’t give me that. She took my chance to come out on my own terms away from me. And she made it more dangerous for me. My family already treated me differently than my other siblings, but this pushed them over the edge. It was just another thing to other me, to separate me from others. I really understand the pain she was in and the reasoning behind her doing it, but I can’t forgive that. She took something from me that can’t ever be given back.