Kisame - Tumblr Posts
To add on to this, the Akatsuki base probably smells terrible.
Nagato: He’s legit not one, but multiple floating corpses
Konan: She’s probably actually okay. I feel like she smells like either old or freshly printed books.
Kakuzu: He has a lot of hair inside him and I’m not sure I trust that he properly washes it :/
Hidan: Blood. He probably smells like musty blood 24/7.
Kisame: As mentioned before, he probably smells fishy
Itachi: Fish with a mix of teenage angst and bird. Who knows where his crows have been.
Deidara: He probably smells like straight up gun powder all the time.
Sasori: He would be alright if not for his multiple corpse puppets
Tobi: He’s probably just messy tbh
Consider: Kisame smelling like a fish
Also consider: Itachi smelling the same due to their partnership
The issue is I want the clan (Specifically Shisui and Izumi) to be alive but I also want Itachi and Kisame to be partners. So. A small conflict of interest.
Zabuza, looking at Itachi: Kisame, You’ve found yourself a valuable tool too?
Kisame: S w e a t s
Zabuza, looking at Itachi: Kisame, You’ve found yourself a valuable tool too?
Kisame: S w e a t s
The KisaIta and ItaIzu parts of my brain are at war with each other again.
I made the Akatsuki on the Sims and they’re all heathens.
-Deidara and Hidan keep stomping around the house cussing without prompt
-Hidan keeps pranking the toilet and and as such breaking it repetitively
-Sasori is just. Always sobbing in his bed.
-Kisame has set the house on fire multiple times
-Sasuke keeps visiting and Hidan is Mean to him
I know the data books are pretty messed up but like. Some of the stuff in there is just so funnily wrong. “Find Itachi and settle the score swiftly. For this sole purpose, Uchiha Sasuke selects three shinobi. Hoshigaki Kisame, the child prodigy of kirigakure. Karin, the female member with her prominent sensory skills...” etc etc Pretty sure Kisame wasn’t hunting Itachi down alongside Sasuke,,,
I like playing this fun little game where I use Orochimaru as an excuse every time I want to merge two characters without making things terribly OOC.
Kisame and Itachi? 0% chance of them having a kid. They’d never. But if Orochimaru wanted to make a nice lil sharingan-wielding vessel for himself? A little backsy upsy incase Sasuke is Sasukeing a little too close to the sun? Mmm.
-Kisame keeps doing pushups in his and Itachi’s bedroom floor while Itachi is trying to sleep
I made the Akatsuki on the Sims and they’re all heathens.
-Deidara and Hidan keep stomping around the house cussing without prompt
-Hidan keeps pranking the toilet and and as such breaking it repetitively
-Sasori is just. Always sobbing in his bed.
-Kisame has set the house on fire multiple times
-Sasuke keeps visiting and Hidan is Mean to him
I wanna write an akatsuki band au so bad vs I can't think of a fun plot I'll bother sticking with: The two year anniversary
The Shizuma brain worms are back. If not meant to be KisaIta's son / metaphorical legacy (?) . Why son shaped. Why speaking words I could easily overlay over any screenshot of either young Itachi or Kisame. Why overlaying narrative themes.
Time travel au with Shizuma where he ends up in the past and attempts to join the Akastuki by offering them information on the future. Giving them intel he learned in school/from stories to avoid their eventual defeat (/eventual 'peace' in the mist). And being horrified as a good chunk of the organization is like "Maybe we should speed run this if we have a clean shot to achieving peace actually" while he is there going "no no no listen that is NOT the message I am trying to deliver"
I am so normal about all the Kirigakure shinobi. Especially the aquatic ones.
Stupid fic concept I low key love:
The Akatsuki gets isekai'd into a modern-esque world. All individually. Not realizing it had happened to anyone else. And gradually find each other months or years later. Just squinting at each other as they see how they each managed to make a living / survive in this new world. Like dude I've seen you burn a man's flesh off his bones what do you mean you work at the library and host themed learning months for the kids now.
Those are all so fitting 😭
All I can imagine is Kisame or Deidara pulling into a mcdonalds drive through and their eyes popping out of their damn skulls seeing HIDAN in the drive through (the manager found him eating raw patties in the back and banned him from the kitchen 😔 he misses the taste of blood) while Hidan is looking out the window on his second strike for fighting customers going Y o u ? ? ?
Or Itachi bringing some books to the elderly home on a charity trip and seeing Kakuzu. And them both just hard staring at eat other like 🤨😐
I also think it'd be so funny if Itachi was an absolute job hopper trying to figure out what he wanted to do. With no village to protect and no Sasuke in that timeline. Just moving from being a library assistant to a volunteer at the nursing home to an assistant at a bakery to dabbling in the arts and low key considering college soley because he's interested in the sheer amount of information this world just. Has laying around if you're willing to pay.
Stupid fic concept I low key love:
The Akatsuki gets isekai'd into a modern-esque world. All individually. Not realizing it had happened to anyone else. And gradually find each other months or years later. Just squinting at each other as they see how they each managed to make a living / survive in this new world. Like dude I've seen you burn a man's flesh off his bones what do you mean you work at the library and host themed learning months for the kids now.
Also. On this ^^^^. 100%.
The au popped into my head soley because I heard that song that goes "I know none of this will matter in the long run, but a sound is still a sound if it happens around no one!" and it made me think of Itachi's. General silent suffering. And it made me go God The Unwrittable Singer AU is back in my head again.
Because the unfortunate thing about wanting an Itachi singer au fic every time I hear a song about suffering silently. Is that Mr. Martyre Complex would rather die than share his burdens. Let alone sing them for the entire world to hear. So. Unfixable problem I've been trying to find a loophole in for ages now.
But anyway! If there was a way to bullshit through it. Just. Damn. Would it be funny if like Nagato and Konan were on the way to work and they just heard the song play on the radio like "Is that fucking Itachi's voice???"
Or. Sasori going to the grand expedition of a painting that really took off in the art world and seeing Deidara in the other room of the building hosting a live art event. Them just immediately going for each other's necks like "What the FUCK are you doing here"
Kisame turns on the news after getting home from work and seeing The New Big Celebrity Gossip is that two of the best new and coming artists seem to fucking hate each other.
Stupid fic concept I low key love:
The Akatsuki gets isekai'd into a modern-esque world. All individually. Not realizing it had happened to anyone else. And gradually find each other months or years later. Just squinting at each other as they see how they each managed to make a living / survive in this new world. Like dude I've seen you burn a man's flesh off his bones what do you mean you work at the library and host themed learning months for the kids now.
Kisame whenever anyone questions his appearance: I have a skin condition and my body modifications (gills) make me feel more comfortable about it >:( how about you mind your own buisness. Oh, you know a good doctor? Is there something wrong with how I look? Maybe I'm comfortable in my body >:(
He got tiktok for cool shark videos and quickly realized if he did this enough they wouldn't press it / he wouldn't end up in a tank somewhere
Stupid fic concept I low key love:
The Akatsuki gets isekai'd into a modern-esque world. All individually. Not realizing it had happened to anyone else. And gradually find each other months or years later. Just squinting at each other as they see how they each managed to make a living / survive in this new world. Like dude I've seen you burn a man's flesh off his bones what do you mean you work at the library and host themed learning months for the kids now.
This is the exact dynamic Dad!Kisame would have with kid!Shizuma in a modern au
