Multigender - Tumblr Posts

This started off as a multigender rant but includes other things, because I'm so pissed off at the queer community for these things that I need to fit it all in one post. Sit back and prepare for this, it's a long read (also feel free to scroll past) being multigender sucks because I feel too paradoxical to be taken seriously. It doesn't help that I'm also agender :/ Like yeah, identity is your own and you shouldn't shave off parts of it to appease others, but damn does the 'passive' hostility and invalidation towards multigender people such as myself make me feel pushed towards changing myself sometimes. You can scream into the void all you want about being normal about multigender people and how they label their experiences, but some people just... never will be. That's what it feels like, from the fucking queer community as well as cishet society. It sucks. I can never be comfortable to explore my womanhood because then my manhood and agenderhood will never be taken seriously. Hell, the fact that I simultaneously experience gender AND being genderless is enough for people to just shit on me and exile me from queer spaces. The fact that I prefer ze/hir and it/its and nounself pronouns is enough for people to call me one of the bad ones. AND, the fact that I am more comfortable being perceived as a man suddenly makes me a 'danger to women'. There are so many issues with how multigender people, neurodivergent queers (literally any kind of neurodivergent, not just the neopronoun xenogender autistic person), queer POC, the list goes on are treated; if you aren't a white woman god help you, god forbid you're a man in any way either. And don't even get me started about how aroace people are fucking treated. I could go on for another few paragraphs about how I, as someone who is aroace spec and a plethora of other things, don't feel safe sometimes. I could go on and on and on. And fuck it, I will (under the cut because this post is already comically long):

'Aroace is a spectrum' this, 'all aroaces are valid' that, until you're romance/sex oscillating or even favorable, until you're polyamorous, until you're also a lesbian or a gay person or m-spec. Even in the fucking aroace community you're held by some bar of being aroace enough, and if you diverge even slightly god forbid. Allo fictives of aroace characters, hell even those who are aroace in a different way, have to listen to the incessant whining of the 'stop making sexual/romantic fiction of this character! they're repulsed in canon!' crowd. It's fucking obnoxious. Aroace people are already not taken seriously, aroallos and alloaces are already not taken seriously, and then you have the clown parade of people forcing their own idea of what they want you to be down your throat. The queer community and its many facets feel so fucking unsafe at times, and that sucks because we're all we've got. Some people don't have supportive family or connections outside of online queer spaces, and this is what they get. It's so incredibly shitty. I don't feel aroace enough because of my experiences, despite also having very stereotypical aroace experiences. I feel forced to constantly be sex/romance averse at times because again, god forbid you're ever favorable. I have two partners, okay? I have partners who I don't necessarily 'love' but care about a lot, and then I have to come across things that erase the fact that I am quite often averse to sex and romance because of this fact! People like me are constantly erased, and when they're represented in fiction people throw a hissy fit. "Oh you're forcing an aroace character into allonormativity!" Hey asshole: maybe, just maybe, aroace people can date just as much as they aren't required to. Fucking. Jesus. Some community this is, for there to be so much exclusion and hatred and segregation.

daily reminder that TME/TMA fucks over intersex people

daily reminder that trans men and mascs aren't evil and unworthy of safe spaces

daily reminder that 'women and nonbinary' only spaces completely fucks over masc leaning people, because not every nonbinary person can go to those spaces without getting shit for being 'too much of a man' even if they literally are not a man

daily reminder to be normal about men who are women and women who are men

daily r-

other: while agender is a huge part of my identity, so is being multigender. I literally just use the term multigender most commonly to describe the parts of my identity that are multigendered.

Maybe it's because it's a special interest of mine, but my queer identity brings me so much joy and comfort. I love having this winding and complex identity that I can play with and express myself in. Being butch is awesome, being a transneumascfem agender person is awesome, being a boygirl is awesome, being a pan aroacespec gaybian is awesome, being intersex is amazing, having xenogenders and neopronouns is so fucking rad, GAH I adore being queer so much

I highly appreciate your inclusion of agender, as that is as important to my identity as being multigender is

Remember the survey I did six months ago and also a year ago? Well, I'm doing yet another one! This survey is to collect information about people who feel that the multigender label describes them. If you don't feel that way, this survey is not for you, but it would be appreciated if you reblog this or share it with multigender people you know. If you are questioning whether you identify as multigender, you may take the survey, but please specify in the first question that you are questioning. 

You can take the survey here :D

'I support nonbinary lesbians!' motherfuckers when the nonbinary person in question is a man in any way: tells the person to kill themself, how they're invading lesbian spaces, how their identity doesn't exist and isn't valid, 'men can't be lesbians!', screaming and crying about how they're lesbiphobic and transphobic for existing, 'you just hate lesbians don't you, that's why you're pushing for acceptance of your own identity!', calls them disgusting and sickening, throws around blatant misandrist comments, claims they're the reason lesbiphobic straight men think they have a chance of 'fixing' lesbians, 'oh well you're not an ACTUAL man, so it's okay!', crosses into borderline TERF territory, becomes an actual TERF, etc.

Yeah, I can feel the support radiating off of my screen. /sarcasm

Every time I see 'men DNI' I roll my eyes so hard. Imagine someone had 'women DNI', people would lose their shit lmfao. Like we're not children. Believe it or not, the 'opposite' gender won't give you cooties. Your treehouse won't be contaminated.

edit: I know men are just as immature as women with this, I know there are adults of any gender who still behave as children. I shouldn't have said 'imagine if men did this' because all people can focus on is that tiny bit and be like "BUT MEN DO IT TOO!!!111!11!1". Additionally, read the tags next time before thinking I'm a huge advocate for binary, nonlesbian men interacting with lesbian porn (though the fact that I support lesboys in general is enough to make the people screaming at me think I'm stupid anyway).

I know we like to talk about people who claim to be for queer weirdness and really aren't, but it's also important to point out that there are people who will wholeheartedly say they don't want us to 'make up more weird shit'. There's a certain brain rot circulating that makes queer people with relatively baseline queer identities throw the queers with more complex and non-normative identities under the bus. I reckon it's a strain of the pick-me virus that causes a monogay or binary trans person with 'normal' pronouns to go 'you make us look like jokes!' or 'not all queer people are like THOSE freaks!' when faced with, say, someone like me: the loveless aroace, m-spec boybutch multi-agender individual who uses neopronouns and xenogenders.

Making cishet society question their ideas of sexuality and gender does not end at Kevin the monogay trans man with he/him pronouns. While that is more digestible than m-spec lesbians and gays and, god forbid, lesboys and turigirls, sweeping these very real queer experiences under the rug to make yourselves more palatable to cishets just makes things worse for queer people. You are only fighting for the acceptance of part of the community, and you're leaving the rest of us in the dirt.

the experience of being harassed for believing in misandry has convinced me of one thing: some of the 'feminists' on this platform (and others) don't actually care about equality. They want, like, some sort of reversed matriarchy where women are on top and honestly? that sucks. Because while the rest of us bring nuance about gender issues and want to eradicate every last bit of sexism all genders face, as well as fight for, you know, actual equality rather than the one gender is superior bullshit, there are people who think poking fun at stuff like male suicide rates is acceptable (yes, I am still not over that). It reminds me of when I was 10 years old and going through my own 'kill all men' phase; it's a fucking miserable way to live and solves absolutely nothing. It's very immature.

As for transandrophobia, you get called stupid in the least, and a transmisogynist at the most if you dare bring up the fact that it exists, because some people on this platform really hate men and want to make it the rest of the world's issue. I would never, EVER make fun of what women go through, not because I'm scared of being 'canceled' but because I have basic tact and maturity. But these people? As long as it's men being talked about it's fair game to them. Absolutely disgusting that this is even a remotely accepted behavior, and the fact that simply saying 'hey, men have issues too' will put you in the line of fire of people who cannot accept that their worldview is not much better than an incel's is horrific.

The gender discrimination discussion is not all about women. Multigender people exist. Male issues exist. And those things can exist without making women's issues less important! I implore you to grow up, if you even got this far into the post with the belief that only women face shit for their gender identity, because I dare say you are a thorn in the side of the feminist movement.

casually being transphobic in their scramble to avoid looking intolerant. 'I don't mean YOU'RE invalid, you're not actually a girl!' they say to the multigender/genderfluid individual who is a girl

"i mean i dont think turigirls are valid but your different bcuz you arent a girl like them! your just nonbinary!"

IVE BEEN IN A GIRL LEAN FOR MONTHS WHAT ARE YOU OOOOOON WHY ARE YOU DECIDING MY GENDER FOR ME???

being read as a guy is great, I guess. I never get misgendered unless the person hears my voice first, in which case I'll get the 'ma'am- I mean sir!' thing. Nothing makes me happier than when I confuse people, when my gender is up in the air... an uncertainty. I find myself feeling true euphoria when someone doesn't know what the fuck I am, rather than just assuming immediately. Because my gender is so much more complicated than just 'man', it's nothing. It's everything. It's a nice cut of red meat on a hook at the butchers'. It's the uncanny. It's tied to my doghood. It's a paradox, constantly shifting yet staying the same. The endlessness of the universe is still too small of a place to contain it.

Whenever somebody shows any sign of confusion, I bask in it. Because those few times are all the acknowledgement I get of the bigger picture when it comes to my gender. I'm not just a 'man' or a 'sir', but all I seem to get is 'he/him' and 'sir' these days. I think to myself, 'isn't this what I wanted? is this not better than being seen as a woman?' and... I suppose so. My body certainly feels more like my body now. However, I find rigid masculinity to be just as suffocating as rigid femininity. I was meant to break these boxes, not adhere to them. But whenever I bother, I feel the accusations of womanhood being placed onto me, and I know that, once I am read as a woman, my manhood is cancelled out.

I am only a woman when I am a man, and I am only both when I am neither. But wider society doesn't understand that, so I force myself to perform manhood and manhood only as the more comfortable option. I'm considering picking up drag as an outlet to explore my womanhood as well, no matter how miniscule that piece is, because I am not taken seriously if I were to wear a skirt like I want to, or makeup as I want to. Because I am a 'man' and 'men don't do that'. It is miserable. Gendered society is miserable.

how people think we're gonna react when they tell us we aren't valid, our genders aren't real, and we're either confused or just trying to be special (link)

sees cool dyke post

'men dni'

sighs

“Men dni” “women dni”

*a part of me splits off and runs away*

'I ain't exactly a woman but I ain't exactly a non-woman either' about sums up my weird ass relationship with womanhood, actually

Weird gender unity /pos

'a man can't be a woman' watch me

All Trans men are men, but not all Trans men aren’t women.

All Trans women are women, but not all Trans women aren’t men.

Gender can be far more complex and less binary for many folks 💗

Reminder that masc voice training is a thing! So if you have voice dysphoria you might wanna try it at least for a month and see if it helps :]

transphobes calling trans people confused for their gender is just a cover up for the fact that the transphobe is confused. I know you cannot fathom the complexities of my gender, but that's not my issue lmfao.

Shoutout to people who are pangender and agender for whatever reason, because same.

And while I'm at it, shoutout to agender people who are also trigender, bigender, etc too.

'mxn' but not in the cringe way radfems censor 'man', I'm just an agender man

I got a coward in my inbox crying about how a certain post (link) of mine sounds like 'conversion therapy' before supposedly blocking me, lol. at some point closemindedness and lack of reading comprehension ceases to be my problem, but as I have issues with how I worded things anyway I'm making this post.

when I said, 'give me more lesbians who date men, too' and 'give me gay men who also date women happily', I did not mean 'all lesbians and gay men should do this'. I know that some people would take it that way regardless of if I worded it better, but I was referring to mspec lesbians and gays being more out and proud with how they break the norms of what's expected of them as lesbians and gays. regardless of if you think these people are 'just bisexual', at the end of the day there are lesbians who date men and gay men who date women. again, this doesn't mean every single lesbian and gay does this or is obligated to do so, and I hate that my little post about inclusion and celebration of all queerness was taken as me trying to force queer people to do things they don't want to. I hate that I even feel the need to explain myself.

Alas, misconceptions are to be expected if your post is put on the radar of exclusionists. I could have worded it like 'allow the lesbians that want to date men to do so and let the gay men who want to date women do so, too' but I'm sure a problem would arise from that as well. It's saddening, as well as irritating, that there are people who go out of their way to misunderstand an inclusive post, but that's also why making these kinds of posts is important. It is important to stand in the face of exclusionary rhetoric and say 'we exist'. in a world that wants all queer people dead, it is important to uplift those who feel outcasted by our own community, and I don't care if I sound like a broken record here. I will never stop unapologetically being in the corners of m-spec lesbians and gays, lesboys and turigirls, and all of the other queer individuals that are pushed away for being too 'complicated', 'contradictory', and/or 'invalid'.

we exist, we will continue to exist, and we have always existed. we are as worthy of support and respect of our identities as anyone else. no identity is more worthy of scrutiny than another, and the true homophobia/queerphobia is pretending that there is a single 'invalid' queer person.