No.10 - Tumblr Posts

🎃Whumptober Day 10: Miscommunication

(Phantom Thieves x Reader)🎃

Part 1

It has been a few days since you last talk to your friends. You did what you told yourself to do and you left them alone. They didn't notice at first, as you expected, but they slowly start to notice. They were unable to talk to you in person due to you avoiding them in person, so they resort to texting you. Individually, they texted you if you are doing okay. You responded with a "Yes", "I'm doing good.", etc. After sometime you got a text from the dead group chat that you were in.

Ann: Hey (Y/N), can we talk for a little bit? ㅤㅤ‎(Y/N): Sure Ren: We want to talk to you about you and how you are been acting around us. Makoto: Since we are unable to talk in person we can talk in the group chat unless you want to meet up in person? (Y/N): No no it's fine. (Y/N): It's just that you guys seem a little distant lately. So I thought that it would be better if I just leave you guys alone. Ann: Have we been distant? We're sorry (Y/N) but we have been busy lately. Haru: Our schedules have been awfully full lately. (Y/N): That's fine. I don't want to be pushy. Futuba: You're not being pushy (Y/N). (Y/N): Oh, my bad. Ryuji: No worries dude, we can hang out if we have the time. (Y/N): 👍 Alright I can wait. Yusuke: Maybe we can go visit an art museum? Ryuji: Nah let's go to somewhere that is a little more fun. (Y/N): As long as it is fun, we can do that.

After a few minutes the chat soon died down. As you placed your phone down, you thought to yourself.

Maybe I overreacted. I always overreacted. Why was I worried? You thought to yourself. You then got a text message for the same group chat.

Ryuji: Whew! Thought they would be suspicious about our secret meetings. Ren: ... Makoto: ... Yusuke:... Haru: ... Ann: RYUJI!!! Futuba: Damn it Ryuji... (Y/N): Oh...alright then. lol. Ann: WAIT (Y/N)!

(Y/N) left the group chat

I guess I was wrong.

"What do you want? 'Cause you've been keeping me awake...

Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake?

Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me?

Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?

Every day's a little harder as I feel your power grow...

Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go

Into the unknown?"

~

-Into The Unknown, Idina Menzel

Whumptober No.10

I'm not going down until I'm dead.

(Click for better quality)

Whumptober Prompt #10 Unconscious

Hey guys!  I’m back!  I slept through a lot of yesterday, my antihistamines can make me drowsy, but I did manage to finish this one!  I’m gonna post #10 and then #11 a bit later I will be unable to post tomorrow for the most part.  So enjoy two prompts today!  Let’s start with some Lucifer!

Lucifer wasn’t sleeping.  That she saw clearly.  It wasn’t as bad as the week long bender he’d gone on when Maze tricked him into thinking he was flying and saving people in his sleep, but this was definitely up there.  Hair disheveled, suit wrinkled, eyeliner smudged, eyes red, occasionally going off on seriously crazy tangents, he hadn’t called her Booth yet but she was waiting for it.

“Chloe?  You okay?” Ella asked, concerned.

Chloe snapped back to herself.  “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.  I was just thinking.”

“About?”  Ella asked.  “You think of a new lead?”

She looked about as tired as Chloe felt.  This case, a serial killer who left biblical verses in the victim’s blood, had everyone working overtime.  She’d even found Dan asleep at his desk, when she and Lucifer went to give him another cup of coffee.  Lucifer, in a surprisingly kind move, had simply adjusted him so he wouldn’t get a crick in his neck while sleeping.  And since Lucifer didn’t “need” sleep, he was helping with everything he could.  When one of them collapsed, he made them as comfortable as he could, and took over what they were doing.

The problem was, “The Adversary” as he called himself, left almost no evidence and there was very little connection between the victims, his last one being a young, single mother, a girl just barely twenty-one with a one year old son left to foster care.  The only thing that connected all of his victims was the biblical messages he wrote, all quotes by the Adversary about testing the human soul, each of which incensed Lucifer more and more as time went on.  According to him, Lucifer was “The Adversary”, as before his Fall.  His Father had sent him to test the humans He deemed worthy, or “the ones He wanted to write the bloody books”.  Lucifer, already infuriated that someone had the nerve to call himself a version of the Devil, had grown angrier with each killing, saying that when he tested someone, it had never been so senseless.  Lucifer had admitted the day before, more than likely completely unaware of it, that when he did his Father’s work to test humans, he knew if they passed the test, He would reward them for being faithful and never straying.  And if they failed, he knew his Father was right to test them as they weren’t living honestly.  But this had no reward at the end of it.  Their souls would ascend to Heaven or fall to Hell and that was it.  No eternal reward, no true test of character, just a madman with a knife and not being fast enough to run away, or in one case, not being able to withstand blunt force trauma.  That wasn’t punishment, that wasn’t testing someone.  That was just senseless death.

“I’m worried about Lucifer.”  Chloe said.

“Yeah I know.”  Ella agreed.  “I swear, I know he’s “the Devil” but seriously, he needs to take a break or he’s going to crash so hard.

Chloe sighed. “I don’t think he will until we catch this guy.”

“Yeah, he always take these biblical cases so hard.”  Ella replied.  “I mean, I know he’s really into the character, but he’s got to take a break sometime.  I mean, he’s only human.”

One of Ella’s machines beeped.  Ella went to check it.  Chloe stopped in her tracks, reminding herself that Ella did not know the truth.  Chloe had once tried to slyly suggest it to her, but Ella had just laughed it off.  Whether she wasn’t ready to face the truth, or just didn’t comprehend was Chloe was really trying to say, she didn’t know.

She walked back over to where Lucifer was looking over some surveillance video on her computer.  “Hey.”

His head snapped up three seconds too late.  “Detective.  Any luck?”

“Not yet.”  She said, and saw his shoulders slump a little further.

“Well.  Must press on, then.”  Lucifer gave her a shaky smile.

“Lucifer, you need to rest.”  She tried.

“I’m the Devil, darling.”  Lucifer recited by rote, already immersed back in his current fixation. “I don’t need rest.”

“Guys!”  Ella came running out of her office, holding a folder in her hands.  “I know how he’s picking his victims!”

Once Ella had figured out they had all had the same type of alcohol in their stomachs, which all but hid the traces of a roofie type drug in their system, she was able to trace the connection that they all went to a bar three hours before they died, and due to the radius of the killings, she was able to pin down five potential bars that sold that particular mix of liquor.  Financial statements showed that two victims, the ones who didn’t pay cash, went to the Heavenleaf Bar.  Once that bar was found, it was a phone call for a list of employees away from a cross reference between employees who had shifts when the victims were there and who was off shift when the victims were killed.  That had only left one name- Abe McMillion.  A man who heard his victims complain to their bartender, the shoulder who was supposed to help them ease their sorrows and instead shoved a knife into their body for their ‘sins’.  A man with no history of mental illness, who simply hated the people he served.  Chloe would never admit it, but she felt a sick sense of satisfaction when Lucifer revealed his true face, she had long grown used to it, though his scars still made her worried about him.  McMillion had been reduced to a blubbering mess, saying the religious aspect was to throw the police off his trail.  He hadn’t even really read the Bible.  Chloe arrested him, and sent him to booking where he could be processed.

“Lucifer?”  Chloe said, gently reaching out to his shoulder.

Lucifer startled.  “Yes, Detective?”

“Head home.”  Chloe said.  “The new lieutenant gave us a half day for tomorrow, we can finish paperwork later.  You should rest.”

Lucifer gave her a small smile.  “You need to go home as well, darling.  The spawn hasn’t seen you in a while.  Don’t mind me.”

“Trixie is with Dan for the night.”  Chloe said, having already asked Dan who jumped at the chance to see his daughter on a non-designated Daddy-Daughter night.  When he asked why, she simply replied that she needed to drive Lucifer home as he was in no shape to do so.  Dan had understood that, and the trouble driving Lucifer meant for everyone involved.  “Let me drive you home.”

“Detective, I adore you in every way.”  Lucifer smiled his usual flirtatious smile. “But you are not driving my car.  No one drives my car but me.”

“Except Trixie.”  Chloe muttered, pulling his attention back to when he had made a deal with Trixie to get him into the “progressive” school for driving lessons.

Lucifer frowned.  “A deal is a deal, Detective, I never go back on my word.”

“Then make a deal with me.”  Chloe offered.  “Go home and sleep, and I won’t bug you about driving your car.”

“Ah, I’m afraid I can’t make that deal at the moment.”  Lucifer said, trying to play it off.  “Lux will be rip roaring with people tonight and I’ll have my hands full.”

Chloe’s heart sank.

“Then how about we spend a little time together tonight?”  She tried.  “I can drive you home tonight, we can hang out a little at your penthouse, grab some dinner and I’ll pick you up tomorrow on my way into work?”

Lucifer frowned, as if trying to deduce her intentions.  Chloe kept her face as still as possible.  “I’m… amenable to that.”

“It’s a deal then.”  She said, knowing those words just sealed her victory.

“I am a Devil of my word, Detective.”  Lucifer said, gathering his belongings.  “Though I do hate to leave my car alone for a night.”

“It’s in a police station.”  Chloe said.  “Nowhere could be safer.”

Lucifer smiled, a real one, one she had missed this past week.  “If you insist, darling.  Lead the way.”

Chloe drove him home in near complete silence.  She kept glancing Lucifer’s way, seeing him fight to stay awake.  When they arrived at Lux, Lucifer glided into the club like he wasn’t about to drop, shaking hands with his bouncers, asking about their days.  That had surprised her once, thinking that Lucifer wasn’t the type to care about his employee’s day-to-day lives, but he made sure that every single one of his employees had everything they needed.  It made sense, when she thought about it, though.  Lucifer embodied righteous punishment, and the “punishment” his staff faced, such as being abused for being LGBT+ or being threatened by poverty or homelessness was not deserved nor righteous.  It was not his Father testing them.  It was human cruelty, and Lucifer was not one to give in to human cruelty.

They made their way up to the elevator.

“Anything fancy you for tonight?”  Lucifer asked, as if talking would help him stay awake.

“What?”  She replied.

“For dinner.”  Lucifer said.  “You must be starved, I know I am.  Shall we order in?  I fear I’m not really up to cooking tonight.”

“Ordering in sounds great.”  Chloe said, slightly relieved that Lucifer wouldn’t attempt to work a stove or oven in his state.  “How about Chinese?”

Lucifer perked up.  “I know a great place over on Santa Monica Boulevard.”

“Do they deliver?”  She asked.

“They’ll deliver for me.”  Lucifer smirked.  “Your usual?”

Chloe nodded and they arrived at his penthouse just as Lucifer was ordering in fluent Mandarin.  She set her purse down on the couch, and dug through it to find her chapstick, and found another small vial she thought she had gotten rid of.  Father Kinley had given her the “sedative” back in Rome, so she could send the Devil back to Hell.  She had taken it in a moment of weakness, not that she wanted to send Lucifer back to Hell, but being away from him for a month made her memories of him seem different.  She should’ve known that’s exactly what Kinley was preying on, and when she found Lucifer again back in L.A., she had told Father Kinley that she knew what Lucifer was and she was not going to send him back to Hell.  Lucifer may be the Devil, but he was her Lucifer, the one who literally gave a stranger the clothes off his back, the one who loved her daughter, at least enough to suffer through her childish whims and try to teach her how to drive in his car, the one who cried in her arms after he realized that God Johnson was not the man he thought he was (though that may have been the drugs).  She didn’t care if he was the Devil.  Maybe Ella was right.  The Devil really does get a bad rap.

She had meant to get rid of the vial.  She hadn’t wanted anything to do with Father Kinley or the prophecy she was sure he made up, or anything else that painted Lucifer as being as manipulative as he called his Father.  The Prince of Lies was something humanity used to justify using Lucifer as a scapegoat.  She knew his true face and it did not scare her anymore.  But… she wondered if it hadn’t been a mistake, not getting rid of the vial.  The liquid was supposed to suppress his angelic nature and sedate him.  She remembered how he was when he didn’t sleep for a week, eyes as wild as his nature, his mind unable to form just about any coherent thought.  She slyly checked his bedroom, and found his room unlived in for at least a few days.  She stuffed the vial down into her purse and grabbed her chapstick, putting it on quickly.  She knew he hated being lied to, and lying by omission definitely counted, but hopefully, he would never catch on to what she thought about doing.

They chatted amicably on the couch, Lucifer only leaving to pour them both drinks, until food arrived, piping hot and Lucifer went to pay the delivery man.  After he gave the young man a hefty tip, he brought the food to the couch.  They bounced off each other as they ate, Chloe feeling like she did before she found out that her lieutenant was the first murderer, a criminal mastermind, and trying to marry her because he found out she made immortals mortal.  Granted, that knowledge also came with Lucifer’s true face, and once she got her head on straight, she appreciated that knowledge.  She appreciated him.

“All right, Lucifer, I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”  Chloe said, after they had finished their meal and cleaned up after themselves.

“I think I shall pop down to Lux for a little while.”  Lucifer said.  “I’ll ride the elevator down with you though.”

“Lucifer, you need to sleep.”  She stressed.

“I don’t need sleep, Detective.”  Lucifer said, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.  “I am the Devil.”

“Lucifer, please, I’m worried about you.”  Chloe said.  “You haven’t slept in days.”

“No need, Detective.”  Lucifer said, definitely defensive now.  “I am not in need of assistance, nor do you need to worry.  I am perfectly capable of handling things myself, I don’t need humans meddling into my Devil work.”

She pursed her lips.  She knew he was hiding something.  “Lucifer, please.  Don’t push me out.  Last time this happened we were a mess.  I don’t want that to happen this time.”

“This is not comparable.”  Lucifer said.  “Maze is not tricking me this time.  I… simply do not wish to sleep.  This case… affected me more than I expected but I am not going to give in to my Father’s manipulations and dreams and I’m going to do what I want.  And I don’t want to sleep.”

Nightmares.  She should’ve known.  No wonder he wasn’t sleeping.  His solution to these problems was to run himself into the ground until he literally couldn’t anymore.

“Then let me at least get a drink for the road.”  She said, changing course.  “If you’ve got this completely under control, I should head home.  Do you have any water or am I going to have to drink from the tap?”

Lucifer gave a surprised chuckle.  “I do have water, Detective.  Staying hydrated is a very important part of-”

“Just water, please.

When he got up to pour her one last drink, she quickly grabbed Lucifer’s glass of bourbon and poured in three drops from the vial- hoping if it was poison, three drops wouldn’t be deadly.  After all, he was the Devil.  No human poison should affect him.

She hoped.

He returned easily, and he took his bourbon, unaware.  She offered a small toast, and he clinked their glasses together, downing his leftover alcohol in one gulp.  He immediately swayed, holding onto the bar for support.

“Lucifer, are you alright?”  Chloe asked, panic flooding her system.  She couldn’t believe it.  She’d just poisoned him.  She’d just killed the best partner she’d ever had.

“‘M fine, Det’ive.”  Lucifer said.  “I’m… I just got so… tired… all of a sudden.”

“You need to go to bed, now.”  Chloe said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

She half-carried, half-walked him to his bed, setting him down on the side.  He fumbled with his buttons, his eyes half-lidded, his fingers sloppy and uncoordinated.  She helped him out of his suit jacket, then his button-up.  When he realized what she was doing, his fingers dropped loosely to the side and he stared at her with glazed eyes.  She decided to leave the pants on because there was no way that she could lift him to get them off, and she wasn’t sure he was wearing underwear underneath and she didn’t want to add sexual to her assault on him.

“I’m sorry, Lucifer, I’m so sorry.”  Chloe said, helping him lie down on his side.

She was half-tempted to run, to get as far away from what she’d done as she could, to run and run and run and maybe that would save him.

Lucifer weakly grabbed onto her wrist.  “Stay.  Please.”

His drug-addled mind had confused what she was apologizing for.  His eyes were barely open but he seemed so desperate for her not to leave.  She couldn’t deny him.

“Okay, just let me get you some water.”  She whispered.

By the time she found the stash of bottled water and come back, he was already unconscious.

She immediately put two fingers to his neck, feeling a strong pulse underneath.  She checked his breathing.  He seemed alright.

“Oh God, what have I done?”  Chloe whispered.  She knew she wouldn’t get an answer.

She moved one of his chairs into his bedroom, curling into it, staring straight at him.  She had to watch for anything that could be signs of a weakening heartbeat, or him not being able to breathe.  Then she knew she would have to run, whether he wanted her there or not.  Since they became close, she had always known she had to protect him.  She just never thought she’d have to protect him from herself.

“Not that this isn’t is a lovely sight to wake up to, but I think you’ve slept long enough, darling.”  Lucifer’s voice, clear and strong, woke her.

“Lucifer!”  Chloe startled, coming awake with a gasp.  “You’re okay!”

“Yes, I’m okay.  Actually haven’t slept this well in a long time.”  Lucifer smiled at her, sitting on his bed, a fresh suit on, holding a water bottle out to Chloe.  She ignored it, standing, checking Lucifer’s pulse.

“Detective, what is the meaning of this?”  Lucifer asked, genuinely confused.

“What’s the last thing you remember from last night?”  Chloe asked.

Lucifer frowned.  “We had a lovely dinner, you were heading home, we had a toast… then I felt very, very tired.  You were heading home.  Why did you stay?  I didn’t do anything to you, did I?  Consent is not merely a mortal invention.  I do not normally black out, I’m not sure what happened.”

Chloe let out a single laugh, nearly crying.

“Detective?”

“I think I poisoned you last night.”  She admitted.

Lucifer took a step back from her.  “What do you mean?”

She explained that when she’d gone to Rome, she’d met a man named Father Kinley, who was a priest, who called him evil, who tried to manipulate her into sending him back to Hell.  A man who told her of a prophecy, that Lucifer’s love was the key to Armageddon, and how he’d found evidence of Lucifer with Nazis, in circles filled with the worst of humanity, and she hadn’t had answers that could solve why Lucifer was there.  How Kinley specialized in exorcisms and he’d given her a vial, a sedative he called it, to drug Lucifer so he could take it from there.  She’d been wary of him, he had talked so horribly but sugarcoated it so well, it took her seeing him again to realize Kinley exploited her human fears, her grief at Charlotte’s death, her dealings with Marcus/Cain, her uncertainty of how to proceed, even her daughter, for he had said that Trixie could never grow up safe while Lucifer was around, and how she’d taken the vial but never once thought of using it.  She told him that when she saw Lucifer again, heard his voice, she was reminded of who he truly was, and while that was the Devil, she knew he would do everything he could to protect her, protect Trixie.  How she gave Father Kinley a rather explicit send-off, saying he was never to contact her again, and that she chose Lucifer over him.  She told him that she had meant to get rid of the vial, but had somehow forgotten.  She didn’t know how but she forgot.  She had handed the vial to Lucifer, who studied it carefully.

“And after this case, you were so upset, you didn’t even tease Dan, and I was so worried about you and I knew you weren’t sleeping and I know what happens to you when you don’t sleep and while you’ve never told me about your nightmares, I know you get them, Devil or no, and Kinley called it a sedative and I thought a few drops couldn’t hurt, you’re Lucifer, it’ll just make you end up sleeping afterwards but you just sort of shut down, and you basically passed out and I’m so sorry Lucifer, this is all my fault!”

Chloe had somehow started crying during the speech, unable to look at Lucifer.

“You must hate me.”  She whispered.

“I don’t hate you.”  Lucifer whispered back.

She looked up at him, and saw him frowning deeply at the vial, as he did when he was concentrating, but she saw no anger on his face.  She knew he never lied.

“Detective, I don’t blame you for being afraid of me.”  Lucifer said.

“I do.”  She said.  “You’re my partner, my friend, my-” She stopped herself.  She couldn’t admit to that.  Not now, not after what she’d done.  “I trust you.  I was never afraid of you, not really.  You’ve never lied to me, from day one, and I should’ve known better. You trusted me, and I betrayed you.  I should’ve been more careful with you.  I could’ve killed you.”

“You didn’t.”  Lucifer said, his tone subdued, his eyes never leaving the vial.  “And I think you’ve already suffered the punishment for your actions.  You didn’t kill me, let’s leave it at that.

“I lied to you.”  She cried.

“You did.”  Lucifer nodded slowly.  “And I will come back to that.  But right now, I’m much more interested in this Father Kinley fellow.  How did he know you make me vulnerable?”

“I don’t know, he already knew when he met me.”  Chloe answered.

Lucifer growled, a Devilish growl, low and frightening.  “I think I sense my father’s hand in this.  Or perhaps even one of my siblings.  Human prophecies have a going rate of maybe fifty percent, and this man knows answers to questions he shouldn’t.  No mortal sedative should’ve knocked me out so quickly, not even with you there.  A few drops is not enough to do any damage to me, for a mortal drug.  He must’ve got a hold of something angelic.  That is the bigger problem.”

Chloe nodded.  “I’m so sorry, Lucifer.  I swear, I was only trying to help you.”

“I know, love.”  Lucifer’s face softened, finally making eye contact again.  She found solace in his brown eyes, seeing no resentment.  “I’ve hurt you so many times in the past that I think you deserve a few shots back at me.”

“I shouldn’t have lied to you.”  She insisted.  “I won’t-” She stopped, knowing he wouldn’t like an empty promise.  “I will do everything I can to never lie to you again.”

Lucifer smiled sadly.  “Thank you, Detective.  But for now, I think we should start looking into this Father Kinley person.  He seems to be the biggest threat to my safety at the moment.  Besides, I think we’re late for work.”

Chloe gasped, she hadn’t realized how long she’d slept.  Thankfully, when she grabbed it, her phone had no updates from the station.  It seemed the lieutenant either hadn’t noticed they weren’t there, or was giving them the benefit of the doubt after such a long case.

“We should go, I need to drop you back off to your car.”  Chloe said.

“Can I drive this time?”  Lucifer asked.  “After all, you did just drug me.”

“I also shot you and you turned it into my favorite necklace.”  She said dryly, falling back in line with their banter.  “And I did drug you, I’m not letting you drive my car.  What if you suddenly pass out while driving?  We’d crash, and I’d have to get a new car, and a new partner, and I don’t want to go through the hassle of training another partner.  So I’m driving.”

She took her keys from his hands, he’d tried to sneak them away from her, and marched to the elevator.

“You coming?”  She called out.

“Of course, Detective.”  He walked over to her.

The elevator dinged.

“So it’s your favorite necklace now?”

“Shut up, Lucifer.”

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20977646

Day 5, 9, 10, 17, 18, 30- Lost in the Darkness

aka Working very hard to keep Bakugou blindfolded the entire story

prompts- pinned down, stranded, you're a liar, touch aversion, blindfold, bridal carry- building collapse, broken bones, head injury, Bakugou being Bakugou, Kiri not taking his shit hehe

AO3 link- https://archiveofourown.org/works/50415793

Sometimes Katsuki entertains the idea that he might regret coming to U.A.

He didn’t, he would never accept anything less than the school that All Might attended, but circumstances like this gave him plenty of time to think. Especially since he couldn’t do literally anything else at the moment. Currently, he was blindfolded, with his hands tied behind his back, suspended in the air hanging from a rope that was connected to a harness, being forced to pretend to be a hostage. As much as the training scenarios were as close to real life as they could be, hanging from a singular rope tied to a ceiling was not something to be fucked around with, and Katsuki could be grateful at least that he wouldn’t get injured by his classmates’ idiocy in this shitty simulation. He wouldn’t put it past them to just cut him down without warning him so he fell flat on his face. They really were that stupid. As soon as they’d gotten him in the air, he’d wanted to get out of his restraints himself, perfectly capable of rescuing himself, but Aizawa had told him that if he didn’t play his ‘randomly’ assigned role (bullshit, Aizawa never left anything up to chance) as ‘regular citizen’, then Katsuki would lose an entire grade over it. Damn fucker was using his stellar academic record against him, and Katsuki had to admit, it was currently working. As impressed as he was that Aizawa had found something that got him to go along with this dumb exercise, Katsuki also never hated his teacher more than right now.

So, unfortunately, here he was. Hanging here, in complete silence, cut off from the world around him. God, this fucking sucked. Had to be one of the most humiliating things he’d done since getting to this school, and to make matters worse, he was so bored. The classmates who were pretending to be the villains who ‘captured’ him had left him ages ago, off fighting the heroes of the exercise, being serious fucking idiots as you should never leave a hostage alone because you don’t know what they’ll do or the heroes plan and then you lose your bargaining chip. … Sue him, he was bored, he could think both sides’ actions through, and he certainly wouldn’t have acted this dumb, and he’d win the battle against anyone assigned to be his enemy. That first fight with Deku was an outlier, and Katsuki refused to count it.

Noises caught his attention, and Katsuki hoped that this shit would be over soon. He just wanted to go to his room, make a pot of coffee, and forget today with some violent video games he could take his anger out on. Maybe if he was lucky, Kirishima would be down to play too. He always felt better after annihilating one of his friends. But then the noises shifted, and Katsuki carefully turned his head, trying to pinpoint where they were coming from without getting the rope to spin.

“Bakugou!” Dunce face. Wonderful. “Guys, I found him, come on!”

More noises followed her shout, footsteps, and he sensed the area around him fill up with people. He’d been right, as he always was, going off to the fight and leaving him alone was a dumb move by his classmates and they’d gotten their asses kicked. From what he could hear, since they still hadn’t taken off the damn blindfold, dunce face, pink cheeks, and shitty hair had come to his ‘rescue’. Joy. At least pink cheeks had some measure of sense when Deku wasn’t involved, and Kirishima would hopefully keep Kaminari from being too stupid for his own good. He supposed this was the best out of a shitty situation since he was stuck here anyways.

“So how do we get him down?” Kaminari asked. “If we just cut him down, he’ll fall.”

Katsuki bit his lip, trying to keep himself in check. The answer was so obvious Katsuki could’ve screamed.

“Ooh, Uraraka, if you float him, I can cut the rope.” Thank god, Katsuki thought that discovery was going to take them three more years as they chattered.

“On it, Kirishima!”

Five fingers came to his chest, and the horrible feeling of weightlessness infected his whole body. Katsuki had never liked pink cheeks quirk in the first place, and he hated it even more now. He hated not being in control of his own body. Katsuki bit his lip harder.

Katsuki swung a little as Kirishima sawed through the rope, and he felt it when the rope attached to his harness suddenly went limp. He floated around for a moment before he got too fed up with their idiocy.

“Let me down. Now.” Katsuki hissed, his voice as venomous as a snake.

He could tell he surprised pink cheeks in her gasp, even though they still hadn’t taken off the goddamn blindfold, but he seriously didn’t give a shit. This day was shitty enough, he didn’t need her to add to it more than necessary. He heard her speak her stupid words, she really didn’t need to say it every time, from what he could tell of her quirk, but he used the sound to prepare for the sudden fall he was about to experience.

The freefall he was expecting got interrupted by strong arms, Kirishima balancing him so he could stand on his own without falling over. Under the blindfold they still hadn’t taken off, his eye twitched. And he thought today couldn’t get any worse, but he supposed he’d underestimated just how fucking stupid these assholes were.

“What do we do now?” Kaminari said, doing fuck knows what.

“How about you untie me?” Katsuki growled, his desire to keep his grades perfect fighting with his desire to just fuck all this shit and take the fucking hit so he could be fucking done.

“I got you, bro!” Kirishima said, and Katsuki heard Kirishima’s quirk go off again. He felt a swish behind his back, and his arms were finally freed from those damn uncomfortable ropes.

“Fucking finally.” Katsuki muttered, rubbing at his wrists. “Took you idiots long enough.”

Katsuki’s hand went to the blindfold, ready to rip it off himself, when the whole building shook. He instinctively put his hands out to steady himself, and before anyone could speak, Katsuki felt the ground crack and split open, and they were all freefalling with a shout. Katsuki had a single moment to curse in his head, as apparently things could get worse, and he’d just jinxed himself. But before he could try anything that might mitigate the shit the building collapse had started, his head crashed into something hard and unyielding, sending bright sparks across his eyes before he fell into a darkness a blindfold couldn’t create. 

~~

Katsuki’s first thought as he slowly rose to consciousness was that his whole body hurt, and he didn’t know why. He could feel heavy weights pressing down on him, completely covering his right arm, left hip, and there was one pushing directly on his face. His face was sticky, his arm was sticky, and his hip was throbbing two beats faster than his heart. He groaned, trying to move to escape the weights but they kept him pinned down, his legs scraping on dust, sliding through the dirty ground like a waterslide.

“Hold on, I think I heard him.” He knew that voice. That was… that was…

Oh shit. As he heard his best friend, memories came rushing back to his mind. Putting on the harness in the unhappiest way, being lifted into the air, and Aizawa handing him the blindfold to put on before his teacher gently tied his hands behind his back. Chattering voices from his idiot classmates, who joined him only to leave him there a little while later. Other voices of different people, Kirishima cutting him down, cutting the ropes, and then the ground disappearing out from under them. The building must’ve collapsed, that’s what the weights were, debris from the cave in. And the blindfold was still on his fucking face.

Kirishima must’ve found him, because soon the weights were being lifted off of him, and he heard a soft, “fuck.” The weight on his face was lifted very slowly, gently, and fingers probed at Katsuki’s temple, and he twitched as Kirishima disturbed the dried sticky shit on his face and in his hair. He was pretty sure it was blood, but he couldn’t be sure, as who knows what kind of plumbing had been disturbed when they’d fallen. Be easier for him if it wasn’t blood, though.

“Kami, get over here, turn up the light. Bakugou’s hurt!” No shit, Kirishima. Why not say other obvious shit like they were in trouble or that they were trapped?

Kaminari must be using his quirk to have his electricity crackle around him, giving them what light they could get. Light began to penetrate his darkness, and he shut his eyes harder, the light stabbing needles into his brain. A pained gasp slipped out unconsciously, and his left arm tried to shield his eyes from the light, but Kirishima took his hand, and held it.

“Easy, bro, you took a lot of damage.” Kirishima murmured. If Kirishima kept saying super obvious things that didn’t need to be said, Katsuki was going to blow him up.

Katsuki ripped his hand out of Kirishima’s, and came to his face. Since none of these assholes would finally take off this goddamned blindfold, he was going to do it himself. But as he pushed the fabric upwards, strobe lights blinded him, his vision going white as he screamed. A hand pulled his away, the blindfold falling back into place. Firecrackers of light assaulted his mind, taking away his ability to process the world around him. Flashes of what he’d managed to see popped through his mind, Kirishima with minimal cuts and a few bruises, Kaminari’s jacket tied around Uraraka’s bloody shoulder as a tourniquet, and Kaminari was nothing but an essence of overly powerful, bright light.

“Bakugou, what’s wrong?”

All he could manage was a strained, “bright.”

Kirishima’s fingers pinched at the blindfold, putting himself in between Katsuki and Kaminari, and through the shining light setting his nerves on fire, he could see his best friend frown before putting the blindfold back. “Shit.”

“What is it, Kirishima?” Kaminari asked, sounding unsettled, like he had in the mall training. Two was enough for a pattern for Katsuki, he was going to rage at Aizawa for letting this happen to him again, and swear that he wasn’t doing anything like this again until the teachers fixed this shit so a third time never happened.

“Bakugou, I think you have a concussion or something.” Kirishima muttered, knowing to talk to him despite the fact that it had been Uraraka that had asked. Katsuki hated being talked about like he wasn’t there. “And your arm totally looks broken, dude.”

Even though Katsuki couldn’t see it, he knew Kirishima was biting the inside of his cheek. It was one of his nervous habits. But a head wound meant the stickiness on his face was blood, and that complicated shit. Adding a broken arm to the mix was a disadvantage he would struggle to get through, but Katsuki refused to let this stop him. The marathon this had been going to be had just turned into a triathlon. Fuck. Still, he could do a triathlon with his eyes closed.

Actually, he was going to have to. Katsuki could see the overpowering light still through the blindfold, but it was easier to deal with with the blindfold on. Goddammit, his day could not get any-- stop. Don’t jinx yourself again. He didn’t know how this could get worse, and he didn’t want to know. Today fucking sucked ass, he should leave it at that.

“You with us, bro?” Kirishima asked, and he realized he’d been getting talked to, but honestly he couldn’t care less.

“Yeah.” He muttered. “Just figuring out how to get us out of here.”

Since Kirishima had removed the debris, Katsuki was able to lean to his left side, using his good side to get himself up. He could practically hear Kirishima wanting to help him, but he also knew Katsuki wouldn’t accept it. His left leg was shaky, his hip screaming at him to stop, but pain was just a call he didn’t have to answer. Pain never stopped All Might, therefore it wouldn’t stop him.

But as soon as he got himself as upright as he could, a bout of dizziness hit him, and he lost his balance, crashing into Kirishima. His best friend fumbled a bit catching him, making a surprised noise, but got him standing after a moment.

“Okay, dude, I’m sorry, I know you hate this, but you can’t walk by yourself.” Kirishima said, regret lacing his words, infuriating him. Kirishima was the only one he could trust not to pity him, but he still hated needing his help. Kirishima had learned the language Katsuki spoke, to know when to ask for something because Katsuki needed it but wouldn’t say it, to brush everything off as not an issue because Katsuki didn’t want to talk about it, ever. This wasn’t his language and Katsuki growled at him, the warning sign that he was about to get his shit rocked.

But Kirishima never took his shit, so he just adjusted Katsuki so his left arm was slung around Kirishima’s shoulders. And he thought that being tied up was humiliating.

“Bakugou,” Kirishima said, lowering his voice so only he could hear. “You can’t take the blindfold off, Kami’s light is too strong for your concussion, and you can’t walk. Just this once, let me help you. Let me be your crutch.”

Oh damn him for using that shit against him. He let Deku be his crutch one time and they never let him live it down. Katsuki was going to find a reason to blow Deku up for this, whether it was a good reason or not. This was all his fault anyway.

Regardless of how he felt though, Kirishima was right. He couldn’t see, and being trapped under a bunch of debris was not something that he could get out of on his own if he was blind. He couldn’t even see what was in front of him, the light radiating off Kaminari too bright for him to see anything but blurs and blobs of where he assumed people and objects were.

It felt like swallowing broken glass, but he ground out a quiet, “fine.”

“Thanks, dude.” Kirishima whispered, wrapping his arm around Katsuki’s waist. He hobbled them over to the others, Katsuki struggling to walk in step with Kirishima since he couldn’t fucking see where the bastard was stepping. God, he just wanted today to end.

“Dude, Bakugou, you look like shit.” Kaminari exclaimed, crackling faintly.

Katsuki tried to shy away from the bright light without looking like he was doing that. “If anyone else says one more blatantly obvious thing, I’m gonna blow all three of you up.”

He heard Kaminari’s, “yeesh, sorry” but it was soon drowned out by pink cheeks.

“Hush, Bakugou. You can’t do that anyways, you’ll just make this worse, unless you want this to cave in more. Now, we need to take care of your arm. Okay, what can we use to make a sling?”

Lots of ideas were discussed, and shot down violently by Katsuki, but eventually he allowed Kirishima to take the harness off and use that, Katsuki using his good arm on Kirishima’s shoulder to keep himself upright. Katsuki refused to let any noise of pain out again, but internally he was screaming as Kirishima moved. Oh yeah, his arm was definitely broken, it felt like almost a Deku level of broken, and when Kirishima finally stopped and took his waist again, Katsuki was trying to minimize his heavy panting and shove down the tears in his eyes.

“Here, Kirishima, I can make Bakugou float so it’s not as hard for you to carry him.” Uraraka said, way too chipper for what she was saying.

Katsuki felt a flash of panicked anger ignite in his chest. Not being in control of his body when he was trapped and blind was a step too far, and he didn’t care what it meant for him to refuse it. He’d rather drag his own ass out of here on his own, completely blind, then have the last thing he had taken from him. Control over his body was something he refused external assistance for, and he would not let her steal that from him, he didn’t care how hurt he was.

Sensing her fingers as they began to brush his skin, Katsuki kicked out at her. “Don’t touch me!”

He must have connected with Kaminari accidentally, as he got a static shock from it, but the “ow!” Kaminari made made up for it a little.

“Bakugou! Don’t kick me!” Pink cheeks squealed, which just made his resolve stronger. He ignored Kaminari’s, “don’t kick me either!”

“Then don’t fucking touch me.”

“Come on, man.” Kirishima said in his ear. “We need to get out of here.”

“I’m not letting that bitch touch me.” Katsuki growled back.

Pink cheeks made an affronted shout, but Kirishima was quick to understand what Katsuki was actually saying, that her quirk was off limits.

“He doesn’t mean it, Uraraka,” uh, yes the fuck he did, “but I’ve got him. He’s not heavy to me.”

Somehow Katsuki got a sappy vibe from that comment and he promptly ignored it.

“If you say so, Kirishima.” Uraraka said, doing that stupid pouty face she made when she was trying to be serious. He didn’t have to see it, he could hear it just fine.

“Come on guys, let’s get out of here.” Kirishima said, and they started walking. “There’s a path, Bakugou, if there’s anything you can trip on, I’ll handle it.”

Kirishima kept to the back, not leaving Kaminari’s light but also trying to keep as much of it off Katsuki as he could. This is why Kirishima was his best friend, even though he hadn’t actually wanted a best friend when he came to this school. But Kirishima understood him, helped without helping, didn’t shove his weakness back in Katsuki’s face. When they got back, he supposed he could make too much gyūdon and give the other bits to Kirishima for this. He supposed it’s been a while since he had that, and he could just randomly have a craving for a meatier dish.

The more they walked, the more Katsuki couldn’t help leaning on Kirishima. Each step with his left foot sent another bolt of pure agony to his hip, and every step with his right jostled his arm, and Katsuki’s head was already swimming from so much movement that he could barely keep track of the world beyond the pain. With the blindfold keeping the torturous light away, he couldn’t see the worried looks his friends were shooting him, only being able to sense a tension rising in the air, unable to place where it was coming from. It was strangely quiet as they walked, which unsettled him. Kaminari usually was a motor mouth, Katsuki always had to yell at him to be quiet. But now, no one was talking, and that didn’t seem right.

Suddenly, the light stopped, and they all froze.

“Kaminari!” Pink cheeks shrieked, the sound sending another bolt from his ear to his brain, and then back. He couldn’t be worried about Kaminari for a minute, he was so wrapped up in agony.

He heard knees and hands hit the floor along with winded gasps. Kaminari must have been pushing the limits of his control, his quirk more suited for attacks rather than support, keeping the volts so close to him had been exhausting him. As worried as he wouldn’t admit he was for his idiot, he was more worried that this would make dunce face go into whey mode. Not only would they lose what little light they had, but Katsuki wouldn’t be the only one out of commission, and Katsuki didn’t think their little group could take much more.

“I’m okay.” Kaminari panted, and the light started up again, but it was duller. “I’ll be fine. Plus ultra, right?”

The light was so dull in comparison to what Kaminari had before, that he reached around Kirishima’s neck, strangling him a little but for a good reason, and he peeled back the blindfold for a moment. It was still too bright, driving icepicks into his brain, but he could make out his friends now. Uraraka had knelt down to Kaminari’s level, and Kaminari was trembling, but from what Katsuki wasn’t sure. To let Kirishima breathe, he let go.

“Take a breather, man, you’ve been going for like, forever.” Kirishima said, and again the light went out, as the sound of shifting echoed in the darkness.

Katsuki never liked darkness, not that he was afraid of it like a baby or anything, but he never liked being able to see what and who was around him. Especially since… well. He supposed both. Kamino had only added onto what had happened with the sludge villain. But being plunged into darkness now wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, and he was glad to hear Kaminari’s breath evening out.

Standing was becoming unbearable as they waited for Kaminari to be ready again. His left leg was trembling fiercely, and his right wasn’t doing much better. His arm was still against his chest, but just being upright was making him dizzy, the world spinning painfully, like being stabbed into a ceiling fan as it rotated. At this point, Katsuki was standing on pure willpower alone. He wouldn’t fall, he already had to lean on Kirishima, he wouldn’t embarrass himself further and fucking fall. He wasn’t Deku, clumsy as fuck and idiotic. He. wouldn’t. fall.

“Okay, I’m ready.” Kaminari said, though they could all hear the exhaustion still in his voice. But the relief Katsuki felt might’ve slipped through, as Kirishima adjusted his hold a little, taking on more of Katsuki’s weight.

The sound of electricity crackled in the air, the light reappearing. It wasn’t as bright as when Katsuki had first woken up, but it was better than Kaminari’s second attempt. Still too bright for him to take off the blindfold, but instead of thirty icepicks digging violently into his brain, now there were only twenty.

Katsuki realized he’d been wrong before, standing wasn’t agony, but continuing to walk now was excruciating, so much worse than standing. His steps shuffled a little, his mind unable to send the signal to lift them up all the way, and Kirishima had to take more of his weight. He was practically carrying Katsuki by his waist, Kirishima’s arm wrapped almost all the way around.

A rumbling sound in the distance.

“Did you hear that?”

“That sounded like--”

The rumbling got closer. Katsuki could just barely make out the sound of roof cracking under too much stress.

“Shit, run!”

Footsteps took off, but instead of his own following, Katsuki felt Kirishima shove him to the ground, cracking his head again on the hard ground, and he just barely felt Kirishima’s hardening activate before he passed out again.

With every breath he took, he felt his chest brush something stiff, and he could hear heavy breaths that weren’t his own.

“Shitty hair.” Katsuki moaned out, coming back to consciousness for the second time that day. Honestly he was just pissed off at this point, he hadn’t even jinxed them this time!

“Hey, Bakubro.” Kirishima said, and the awful sounds of rocks shifting and falling to the ground echoed too loudly in his ears. “Was a little worried I put you down too hard.”

“Fucking threw me.” Katsuki groaned, opening his eyes to darkness. His heart beat a little quicker. “Where’s dunce face? ‘S dark.”

“I’m not sure.” Kirishima sighed. “I knew I could only protect you with my quirk, so I told them to run. They did. Hopefully they outran the collapse.”

Katsuki did hope they outran the collapse. He was no doubt someone was coming after them, but it was probably the other idiots in their class. Aizawa hadn’t even set foot in the mall when it collapsed. And knowing his idiots, it would take them two days to find a sponge in a sink. With Kaminari and Uraraka trapped alongside them, it would be even harder to find them.

God, he just wanted to go to bed.

“Bakugou, wake up, hey don’t sleep.” Kirishima suddenly said, shaking him a little.

Katsuki let out a noise that meant that hurt and if Kirishima did it again, he’d regret it.

“Sorry, bro, but you can’t sleep.” Kirishima said. “I don’t know what’s going on with your head right now, but I don’t think it’s safe for you to sleep.”

Shit. He hadn’t been trying to fall asleep, he must have been passing out. That was a problem.

“What… what does this shit look like?”

“What shit?”

Katsuki’s good arm grabbed Kirishima’s face awkwardly, and rolled it around, trying to gesture to the space around them. He stopped when he heard the debris.

“Oh.” If rolling his eyes wasn’t painful, he would’ve. He settled for huffing. “I don’t know. I can’t see anything either. I can feel the debris on my back, but it keeps shifting around when I breathe. But don’t worry, I can keep this up for a while, you’re safe, bro, I got you.”

Right, Kaminari had been their only light source. He hadn’t really been worried about his safety, he’d wanted to be able to crawl out of here. But that wasn’t happening apparently. They were just stuck here until someone found them.

“Hey, Bakugou?”

“Mm.”

“Do you ever think about death?”

“Hah?!” Kirishima’s voice was way too blasé for this subject. “The fuck kinda question is that?”

“I’m trying to keep you awake and that was the first thing I came up with!” Katsuki heard Kirishima’s blush in his explanation. If he wasn’t hardened, he’d have gotten a smack for that. Katsuki just kept telling himself that rolling his eyes would hurt, rolling his eyes would hurt, don’t do that.

“Think of something better!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!”

There was a beat of silence. Katsuki groaned. God his friends were stupid.

“Are you and Midoriya exes or something?”

And he thought the death one was bad. “Excuse the fuck me? Has he been saying that? I’m going to fucking murder him!”

“No, no he hasn’t!” Kirishima said, saving Deku’s life, for now. “He’s never said that, or implied that or anything. We all just… we just wonder why you hate him so much. Like, I know you hate pretty much everybody, but your hatred for him is intense, dude. So we all kinda have a sort of bet going on, trying to figure out why. Couple of people think it was because you two dated and then had a bad break-up, especially since he knows so much about you.”

Katsuki blinked. That was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard, and he’d known Deku for over ten years. Holy fuck.

“Shut down this ‘bet’, shitty hair, you all can stop fucking guessing.” Katsuki snarled.

“Oh yeah?” Kirishima perked up. “You gonna tell me?”

“No.” Somehow Kirishima deflated without moving. “First off, you assholes can stay the fuck out of my business, it makes no fucking difference to you why I hate him.”

“Yeah but we like Midoriya.” Kirishima sighed. “And we like you. We thought maybe if we could figure out why you hate him, we could help fix it.”

Katsuki supposed it was well-intentioned, but the idea still made his skin crawl. His relationship with Deku was his own, and… he didn’t want to think about it. His head already hurt too much.

“You can’t fix it, shitty hair.” Katsuki sighed. “None of you can. It’s only between us. Personal. Though if you could get him to stop crying every other second, that might help.”

Kirishima laughed breathlessly. “I’ll see what I can do.”

It was quiet for a minute.

“Does it… bother you, that I don’t like him?” Katsuki didn’t like how unsure his voice was, and he fully blamed it on the nondescript head wound.

“Bother, no, but it kinda makes me sad.” Kirishima said, shrugging and then freezing as more debris shifted. “I mean, you’re my best bro, and Midoriya’s a good bro, and it kinda sucks that we can’t like hang out together or do fun stuff. But if you don’t like him, I’m not going to force you to do stuff with him. You’re allowed to not like people. We’ll all just hang out separately.”

Katsuki couldn’t name the emotion in his chest, and he refused to try.

“You know, you could do better.” Katsuki said. “You’re one of the only idiots in our class who’s somewhat tolerable.”

“Aww, I love you too, Bakubro.” Kirishima chirped, and Katsuki’s eyes widened. “It’s not like that though, we’re just friends.”

“I didn’t fucking say that.”

“Maybe not in those words.” Kirishima said. “But I know you.”

“Not well enough apparently.” Katsuki muttered. “I didn’t fucking say that. I don’t say that shit to anyone, let alone you.”

“Aww, Bakubro!” Kirishima whined, and Katsuki knew he was wearing the stupid smile he was always wearing when he teased Katsuki. “You’re breaking my heart.”

“That was the intent, yes.”

Kirishima laughed, and the echo died in the walls of fallen debris around them.

“How’s your quirk?”

“I’ll be alright, Bakugou.” Kirishima said, and Katsuki could hear the strain Kirishima was trying to hide from him. “I’ve got you. I can keep this up a while longer.”

Katsuki didn’t doubt that, Kirishima had already risked his life for Katsuki once, it didn’t surprise him that he’d do it again and again. He was a good friend.

Silence followed for a moment.

“Bakugou, you still alive?” Kirishima asked.

“Mhm.” Bakugou murmured. “If I die, I’ll let you know.”

Kirishima huffed a strained laugh. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

The tiniest shines of light then filtered through the cracks of the debris. A spark of hope ignited in both of them. A muffled voice echoed through.

“Kaminari? Uraraka?” Kirishima shouted, and Bakugou whimpered. Damn, that hurt. He understood its necessity, but goddamn that hurt.

The voices got stronger, and so did the light. The debris was being shifted around, pink cheeks obviously using her quirk to move the debris safely. Thank fuck.

“Kirishima?” Kaminari’s voice rang through, and Bakugou just groaned quietly. That seemed to be answer enough, as he heard a, “I can hear them!”

Debris began to move quicker, and the light kept getting stronger, a pocket shining through. Katsuki didn’t have to see the head popping through to know that Kaminari was able to see them now.

“How buried am I?” Kirishima asked. “Can you see it?”

“Yeah I can see it, sheesh man, you’re under a lot of rock.” Kaminari said. “But Uraraka should be able to get you out, bro. Just give us a little time.”

“Thanks, bro.”

Without a watch but with a head wound, Bakugou couldn’t tell how it took them to move the debris, and the sounds sort of amalgamated into a noisy blur that he couldn’t quite distinguish. Eventually, he felt the chest he constantly brushed as he breathed disappear, and he could hear Kirishima shift around without the debris falling off of him. A hand came to his shoulder, but thankfully didn’t shake him. 

“You still alive, bro?” Kirishima whispered.

“I haven’t told you I’m dead yet so what do you think?”

Kirishima laughed quietly. “Come on, Kaminari unburied me. We can stand up now.”

Ah shit. This was going to be hard, but Bakugou couldn’t back down now. He hoped that what sort of rest he’d gotten laying down would allow him to be able to stand again.

Okay. He could do this. He’d stand if it killed him.

His left was already trembling as he tried to push himself up, his hip screaming at him to stop moving as he moved his body. Instead of even trying to lose his left leg, he put all his weight on his right, but using his left arm and right leg to stand wasn’t working, and he could feel Kirishima’s hands begin to touch his shoulders. Dammit, he didn’t need fucking help!

Putting any weight on his left leg suddenly became the stupidest decision he’d ever made, as it hadn’t even been three seconds before he was crying out in pain and falling back to the ground.

Several versions of his name rang out in almost perfect unison, hands touching all over, and he just groaned. Today had to be one of the shittiest days of his life. At this point, he’d rather just pass out so he didn’t have to deal with this anymore.

“Bakugou, are you alright?” Kirishima’s voice finally made a sentence instead of just an exclamation.

“Stop fucking touching me and I might be.” Katsuki hissed, and four of the hands retracted themselves. The other two belonged to Kirishima, but he couldn’t see where his friend was to smack him with his good arm.

“Please don’t hate me for this, Bakubro, but you’re too hurt.” Kirishima said, and one hand stayed under his shoulder and the other moved to his knees.

Shit, wait, no, he wasn’t ready-- Kirishima lifted him into the air, and his hip screamed through his voice. The sound he made didn’t even sound like him. The versions of his name were shouted at him again, pounding his head so hard he could barely process their words.

“Hip.” Katsuki panted, finally taking control back of his voice from his hip.

“Dude, what do you mean?” Kirishima asked. “What’s going on?”

“Left hip.” Katsuki gasped. “Been broken since I woke up.”

“Dude!” Kirishima shouted and Katsuki grimaced. “I-- sorry, bro, but why didn’t you say anything? We’ve been walking with you this whole time!”

“Could handle it.” Katsuki groaned.

“Bullshit, Bakugou.” Kirishima snapped, and he sounded angrier than Katsuki had ever heard before. “Look, dude, walking with a head wound and broken arm is one thing. Walking on a broken hip is another. Kaminari, Uraraka, you two keep going. I’m gonna stay here with Bakugou.”

“I said I can handle it.” Katsuki said, trying to push out of Kirishima’s arms. Kirishima just held him tighter.

“I don’t care what you say, Bakugou.” Kirishima snarled. He was beginning to sound like Katsuki.

“Kirishima, are you sure?” Uraraka asked. “If we go, you’ll be completely in the dark.”

“I’ll be fine.” Kirishima said. Bastard even had the audacity to ignore Katsuki’s “I’m already fine.” and continue on like he hadn’t said anything. “Seriously guys. You go ahead. I can protect him with my quirk if anything else happens. We need help, now, and you two are our best chance at getting it. We won’t go anywhere, so you’ll know where you left us. It’ll be okay.”

Katsuki could hear the worried looks his friends exchanged, but they said their goodbyes and footsteps started to fade.

Kirishima knelt to the ground, and placed him down flat on the ground. He heard a bit of shifting before Kirishima pulled Katsuki’s head into his lap. It was somewhat comfortable, the darkness keeping Kirishima from seeing Katsuki’s unhappy blush. A soft hand came to his hair, brushing softly through his spikes, and that helped his headache better than the lack of light.

“You’re such a liar sometimes, Katsuki.”

Kirishima’s voice was soft, but the emotion in it was just as strong. Caught off guard by the sudden use of his given name, Katsuki barely managed a confused, “No I’m not.”

“Yes the fuck you are.” Kirishima snapped. “Saying you can handle walking on a broken hip when you can’t see and you can’t even catch yourself if you fall because of your arm. No one can do that, not even you. I can’t believe you sometimes, hiding that from us. From me. Seriously, Katsuki, how could you be so stupid?”

“I wasn’t being stupid!” Katsuki growled.

“Walking on a broken hip is stupid.” Kirishima insisted. “You know better! If it were me, you wouldn’t let me walk on it. You would’ve made Uraraka use her quirk on me so I didn’t put weight on it. What’s wrong with you, Katsuki? Why the hell did you do that?”

Even though they were arguing, the soft hand in his hair didn’t change its rhythm.

The pout on Katsuki’s face also matched the blush spreading to his ears. He wasn’t sure about how he felt about Kirishima using his given name, and he didn’t think he could figure it out with the headache that was trying to resist the comfort from Kirishima’s fingers.

“All Might worked for years with a hole in his side.” Katsuki pouted. “I could make it for one fucking day. It’s just pain.”

“Yeah, but you’re not All Might.” Kirishima said, and Katsuki bristled. “You’re not! You’re gonna be the number one one day, I’m sure of it, but you’re not there yet. And walking on a broken hip is a good way to make sure you never get there. What if you damaged your hip permanently?”

“I wouldn’t do that.” Katsuki grumbled. “I know when to stop before it gets that bad.”

“No, you don’t.” Kirishima refuted. “If you knew when to stop, you would’ve told me about your broken hip right when you woke up. Come on, man, I’m supposed to be your best friend. Why didn’t you at least tell me?”

“Not like I can keep a secret here.” Katsuki muttered. “If I’d said anything, then those two extras would’ve overheard, and pink cheeks would’ve used her stupid quirk on me again.”

“She was trying to help you.” Kirishima sighed.

“I don’t need her fucking help.” Katsuki seethed. Clenching his jaw made stars appear over his eyes, so he forced himself to ungrit his teeth. “I don’t want her fucking touching me. I don’t want anyone fucking touching me.”

“I’m touching you.”

Katsuki pouted again. “It’s different.”

“Because I’m ‘tolerable’?” Kirishima asked, with just the hint of a smirk. Bastard.

“Somewhat tolerable.” Katsuki huffed. “Just because you’re not literally the worst doesn’t mean you’re actually tolerable.”

“Uh-huh.” Kirishima said, not believing him at all. Damn bastard. “I don’t know what it is that makes you like this, but come on, Katsuki. Keeping us out when it comes to shit like this is only gonna turn around and bite you in the ass. I mean, look at us now. You can’t move, you still can’t even see even if it wasn’t dark, and now I have to stay here with you so you don’t die or get crushed or something.”

“You don’t need to rub it in.” Katsuki snapped.

“I’m not.” Kirishima sighed. “You’re my best friend, Katsuki. I don’t want to see you hurt, and just be stuck watching as you purposefully make yourself worse to prove some sort of point. I don’t even know who you’re proving it to, none of us care that you can’t walk on a broken hip.”

“I care.” Katsuki said. “I’m not like those extras who whine and cry every time they get a tiny scratch. They’ll never even make it to the top twenty with that attitude.”

“And you think you’ll make it to the top twenty if you constantly ignore your body?” Kirishima snapped back. “You constantly yell at Midoriya because he’s always breaking his bones all the time, and yet you do something like this!”

“It’s different!” Katsuki repeated.

“Ugh, no it’s not!” Kirishima groused. “What are you trying to prove, Katsuki? That you have absolutely no regard for your own well-being?”

“That I’m strong enough on my own.” Katsuki hissed.

The hand that had been softly running through his hair disappeared, and he refused to miss it. It came to his cheek, a softer touch than Katsuki would’ve suspected for how strong Kirishima was, and how mad at him he was.

“What if someone wants to be with you?” Kirishima asked softly, his thumb brushing up and down his cheek. “What if someone wants to stand by your side, to be there as you shoot to the top, wants to help you get there by calling you out on your bullshit, wants to hold you when you have nightmares, wants to have your back, wants to help prop you up when you can’t see or stand?”

Katsuki blinked.

“What was that middle one?”

“Wants to help you get there by calling you out on your bullshit.” Kirishima said. That hadn’t been the middle one he’d been talking about, but he let it go. Maybe he’d just misheard. “And that? That was bullshit.”

Katsuki huffed. “Okay maybe… maybe it wasn’t my smartest decision.”

“No shit, sherlock.” Kirishima muttered. Katsuki ignored that.

“I didn’t figure it would be such a big deal. It’s just pain. Pain is a call I don’t have to answer. I’m not weak, pain isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Your pain is a big deal to me.” Kirishima said. “Just because you acknowledge you’re in pain doesn’t mean that you’re weak.”

“The pros get hurt all the time in the field.” Katsuki retorted. “If they can rise above and keep moving when they’re hurt, then I can too.”

“You know, when we went on the Shie Hassaikai raid,” Kirishima said slowly, obviously thinking about his every word, “I passed out after that fight with Rappa.”

“You told me about that.” Katsuki said, unsure of where this was going.

“Yeah I did.” Kirishima said. “That fight took everything out of me. I had more cuts and bruises than I could physically count. And you know what Fat Gum did?”

A beat.

“He took me out of the fight.” Kirishima answered himself. “He found a place where we could be as safe as possible, and he got me medical help. I didn’t rejoin the fight after that. Fat Gum didn’t either. He stayed with me, kept me safe.”

Katsuki didn’t say anything to that.

“So why is it that Fast Gum, the actual pro, takes pain into consideration when making decisions, making sure that the people he was with were protected, but you, the teenager, don’t?”

“You were unconscious, I wasn’t.” Katsuki deflected. “I keep telling you, it’s different.”

“I wasn’t unconscious the entire time.” Kirishima shot back. “I woke up before Overhaul destroyed the street. And Fat Gum still stayed with me. Helped me get to the ambulances, even went with me to the hospital. He didn’t go back into the fight, he just stayed with me until I was taken care of. And he’s a genuine pro.”

Katsuki refused to answer his unspoken question.

“I think you’re running out of reasons why it’s different, Katsuki.” Kirishima said.

“Fuck you.” Katsuki snarled. “And why the fuck are you all of a sudden using my given name? I didn’t say you could do that.”

“You’re deflecting again.” Kirishima called out. “Give me a reason, dammit. A real reason. Why is it so different?”

“Because it’s me!” Katsuki shouted back. “I have to do this.”

“Dammit, why?”

“Because I have to be good enough!” Katsuki shouted, his voice echoing in the empty hallway.

A choked noise of pain followed, and Katsuki lost track of reality as his world became nothing but unending agony, the pain so overwhelming that he couldn’t even be sure that he was breathing. It felt like it went on for three separate lifetimes, drowning him in a torment so excruciating he didn’t think he could ever describe it in words.

Shaky breaths were the first thing he became aware of when the pain finally began to subside. The fingers on his cheek were in his hair again, lightly dragging their nails across his scalp, and he clung to that feeling as his only salvation as he managed to get through the final assaults of the pain.

“Katsuki?” Kirishima’s voice was so quiet that Katsuki barely heard it.

Katsuki made the quietest noise he’d ever made in his life in response. He only just now realized he was crying, tears running rivers down his cheeks.

“You’re good enough, Katsuki.” Kirishima whispered. “You don’t have to kill yourself like this to prove you’re good enough. You’re good enough on your own, Katsuki.”

Katsuki couldn’t even think of a response, the pain had completely cut his voice off.

“It’s gonna be okay, Katsuki.” Kirishima kept going when he didn’t say anything. “It’s gonna be okay. You’re enough, you’re good enough. You’ll be okay. It’s alright. Yound soonna breathing, it’s okay, you’re gon it’s okay. Yound soon it’s alright. You’reat.”

The hell? Katsuki was completely losing track of what Kirishima was saying. The fifty icepicks in his brain were beating a drum beat that went two beats faster than his heart. When his mind tried to understand what Kirishima said, he just got indecipherable static in return. Darkness was slowly beginning to encroach around his mind, easing the pain by just trapping him in shadow.

“Omatsuki! Matsuki?” Katsuki couldn’t even feel Kirishima shaking him now, his mind so wrapped up in shadow. “Comake uke Kaki! Wake mase uple. Come Kaki!”

Kirishima was shaking him harder now, his voice insistent and desperate, but Katsuki couldn’t feel a bit of it. The shadow that stole him from consciousness to ease the pain had already put him completely under, the darkness of unconsciousness swallowing him whole.

Something was different. He couldn’t tell exactly what, but something was different.

Voices surrounded him, voices that hadn’t been the people he’d been stuck with. The only one out of the cacophony that he could properly pick out was Kirishima. Oh! That’s what was different! He wasn’t in Kirishima’s lap anymore, with no fingers running through his hair. That had felt really good, he was a little sad that Kirishima had stopped. It had really helped with the pain. That… he was no longer in. His hip was still throbbing, his arm still ached, but his head was kinda floaty, and that helped drown out everything else. What was going on? Katsuki tried to ask, but all that came out was a soft groan.

“Bakugou?” Kirishima must have heard him. “Hey, Bakugou, you back with us?”

He made a small, affirmative noise.

“There you are.” Kirishima chuckled breathlessly. “I was getting worried you’d sleep through the whole rescue.”

“Dum’ass.” Katsuki mumbled.

Katsuki could hear Kirishima’s relieved smile. The soft hand that was in his hair came to his cheek again. Unconsciously, he leaned into it.

“You really scared me, Katsuki.” Kirishima’s voice dropped, shaky and scared. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“Hah?” Katsuki replied, and he tried to get his head on straight, get away from whatever was making him feel all floaty.

“Shh, it’s okay, Katsuki.” Kirishima said, his thumb running up and down Katsuki’s cheek again. “You’re gonna be alright now. Everything’s okay.”

“You?”

“I’m okay too, Katsuki.” Kirishima murmured, but he didn’t quite sound it. “I asked Recovery Girl, she said it was okay for you to sleep.”

Katsuki made an uncertain noise. “Don’t, sound, okay.”

“Yeah, well, when you think someone you love just died in your arms, you don’t sound okay for a little while.”

Katsuki couldn’t think for a moment, and it had nothing to do with his head being floaty. Loved? Kirishima loved him? Sure, they were best friends, Kirishima was the closest friend he’d ever had, but that didn’t mean anything. Katsuki had walked away from his friends from middle school without even thinking, he’d realized he didn’t care whether they were around him or not. They weren’t good for him, encouraging him to do shit he shouldn’t, and they were just lackeys who followed him because he was the biggest fish in their little pond. He’d figured that… he’d figured that all friends were like that. That that was why Kirishima had forced his way into Katsuki’s life, that that was why all of Kirishima’s friends had followed suit. He’d made it clear on day one that he was one of the most powerful students in this class, even if he hadn’t done it in the best of ways. The USJ incident had been a better judge of his power, and his character. He hadn’t been able to lose Kirishima after that, and as soon as Kirishima had deemed him acceptable, the rest of the Bakusquad followed suit. But he’d never thought that Kirishima had deemed him acceptable because he’d cared about Katsuki, just that Kirishima thought he could use Katsuki to get ahead, and the squad followed because he could keep them afloat academically. The invitations to movie nights, playing video games, hanging out outside of school, and now caring when he got hurt, he’d thought that was just pretenses. That they didn’t care whether he showed up or not, that if they found someone who could do what he did (who had a better attitude) they’d walk away from him without thought. Did all of the Bakusquad feel that way? When he could think properly, he had to give this a ridiculous amount of thought.

“Shh, just go to sleep, Katsuki.” Kirishima said, somehow sensing that Katsuki’s mind was going a million miles an hour. “We’ll talk later. Sleep.”

Even though it was Shinsou who could control minds, Katsuki’s mind still seemed to shut down when Kirishima told it too, only just now noticing that he was completely exhausted. The soft touch to his cheek continued, gently settling him into a comfortable sleep.

And goddammit, he was still wearing that goddamn blindfold.

Whumptober day 10 - Unconscious

My tenth fill for @whumptober2019​, also available on Ao3.

----- ----- -----

For a regular, unenhanced human, Tony was in very good shape. It didn’t help that he had plenty of enhanced people to regularly compare himself with, and others who were just plain younger, but he did take some pride in his condition. The suit didn’t do everything for him, and he was still an engineer at the core.

But he had to admit that there were limits to his endurance. He didn’t like to admit as much, and he would push those limits if he felt it was needed, but they did exist.

And he was hitting those limits pretty hard at the moment.

It had been a few hours since escaping, and Bucky still hadn’t woken up from whatever they’d given him to keep him out. No doubt they’d thought he could be dangerous when actually awake, which would have been true. Unfortunately for them, they hadn’t considered Tony could be dangerous as well.

That had been their mistake, honestly. Except he just wanted Bucky to wake up.

“C’mon Snowflake,” he begged, breathing heavily with exhaustion. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could do this, but he also knew that he couldn’t let their kidnappers catch them again. So he was taking a brief break, hopefully waking Bucky up, and then they’d be on the move again. “Please wake up?”

But there was no movement, and Tony knew they had to move again.

Grimacing, he pulled Bucky back into the fireman hold he’d been using. Of everything he’d tried, it was the most sustainable while also keeping up his speed.

Every once in a while, between heavy breathing, he let out a faint “please”. He’d have talked to Bucky the entire way, but he simply didn’t have the energy for it. Not if he wanted to get them somewhere safer.

His muscles strained, but he gritted his teeth. He could do this. For once, he could be the strong one in this relationship. For once, he could do something for Bucky instead of the other way around. All he had to do was keep moving, no matter how much it hurt. One foot in front of the other, and again, and again.

Whimpering, Tony could feel the way his legs were shaking. But he didn’t have time to take another break, not so briefly after his previous one.

In the end, he didn’t have a choice. His exhaustion, Bucky’s weight, and the uneven ground finally won, and his ankle buckled underneath him. It took everything he had not to cry out at the pain, and he only barely managed to make sure he took the brunt of the fall and not Bucky.

“Please,” he whimpered, not caring how pathetic he sounded. He’d been walking for hours, exhausted and hurting and unsure of where to go. And now he wasn’t even sure he’d be able to carry his own weight anymore, let alone Bucky’s. He wasn’t sure if the ankle was broken or just sprained, but he had enough experience with either option that he knew things had just gotten a lot more difficult.

“Bucky, Snowflake, darling, sweetheart, please wake up. I need you,” he begged. But whatever they’d given him was strong enough to keep even a supersoldier down, and Tony buried his face into Bucky’s chest in an attempt to stave off the tears. “Please…”

There was no response.

“Alright, I’ve got this. I’ve got this. I am Iron Man. Pain does not exist. I’m gonna get myself and my boyfriend to safety, and then he’s gonna wake up, and I’m gonna have him give me a massage, and there will be a warm bath, and I will tell Natasha to decimate those assholes and she will, and I’ll get Clint to make me his special hot chocolate, and it will be lovely.” As he muttered to himself, he pushed himself up again on trembling arms. “Just a little more and everything will be back to the way it should be.”

Biting back his cry of pain, he pulled Bucky’s unconscious body onto his back again.

“Just a little more.”

Whumptober: Oops, I Did It Again

They were about nine when Leonardo's asthma started getting bad. He had always had it, and they all knew it, but the symptoms were less before, now they were persistent. It was probably the more advanced training they got, which was why he had to tap out more often when it acted up, moreso in the winter. It wasn't terrible, but was definitely annoying for him, especially when he was striving to be the best out of them.

%%%

God, NO, why right now?

There it was, the growing wheeze, an inability to breathe, the growing urge to cough, right when Leonardo needed to not have an asthma attack. Splinter had promised to teach them something special on their eleventh mutation day, and low and behold, he had a flare-up right after warm-ups.

Leonardo grit his teeth, swallowing his anger, and clenched his hands into fists before opening one back up and raising it.

"Excuse me, Sensei?" he began politely, catching the attention of his brothers as well, "Can I tap out for this session?"

Splinter looked almost surprised- Scratch that, he was astonished that Leonardo was leaving a lesson he had been so excited for for months. He looked as though he was about to ask why, but the faint wheeze coming from Leonardo filled the silence and answered the question as to why he was asking to sit it out. Splinter nodded, and Leonardo spent the rest of the lesson with a quick-relief in his hands, watching the others go through katas.

Occasionally, his brothers glanced over to him, seeming concerned and guilty, but nothing was said and he only waved, smiling to reassure them.

By the time the lesson was over, the attack had ended, leaving him in a frustrated bubble. He sat there, just a little longer, then shook his head to try and dissipate the anger he felt and stood up.

Maybe next time.

%%%

He was about fourteen when his symptoms started fading. Slowly but surely, he started getting less and less attacks, until they one day faded all together. By the time they were almost fifteen, he was completely free. Donatello said maybe he outgrew his asthma, but he couldn't care less about what happened that caused it, he was free from it!

And just in time for them to go up to the surface.

%%%

The air on the ship was cold.

It was like being in a fridge if you weren't up and active, and even then you'd end up in an uncomfortable, cold sweat. The effects of space, they presumed.

Leonardo didn't realize that his asthma was acting up again until he was wheezing, pausing his katas to figure out what was happening.

Oh heck no.

He thought it was over!

He thought he outgrew his asthma, he wouldn't have to deal with it again!

Leonardo growled quietly, sheathing his katanas and going to Donatello. They always had a good quick-relief on hand, just in case, he had just hoped that they would never need to use it again.

"Don," he whispered to get his brother to look at him, then came closer, “Don, it’s back.”

Donatello tilted his head, confused. “What?”

“My asthma is acting up again. I was just training and it suddenly flared up.”

The genius’ eyes widened in concern as he reached over for the medicine Leonardo was all too familiar with and handed it over to him. Taking a quick puff, Leonardo sighed. The relief, the first time he had done that, was like a miracle, but now it was nothing more than some fast working medication, used to the feeling that followed.

A little while later, the symptoms passed, leaving the two in uncomfortable silence.

“Well,” Donatello started, sounding unsure.

“Well,” Leonardo repeated.

“I guess this means it’s back. Be careful, would you? We don’t want to have a severe attack.”

%%%

Leonardo stared at the ceiling, laying in bed, awake.

A familiar wheeze filled the room, making no space for silence.

He groaned softly, sitting up. There would be no sleep that night, he could already tell. Looking over to the inhaler that Donatello had given him, he considered using it, then shook his head. It wasn’t too bad, he could do without it.

Instead of staying in his room, he decided to move to the common area. Maybe he could wait it out? Leonardo grabbed his inhaler and moved slowly, not wanting to aggravate it too much.

The wheezing got worse.

It was getting increasingly difficult to breathe by the minute, and breaking down into coughing didn't make it any better.

He grit his teeth and took a short breath of the medication, leaning back against the wall and sliding down.

Seconds ticked by, then minutes.

The quick-relief wasn't working, why wasn’t the quick-relief working?

Leonardo tried to steady himself before the panic grew unmanageable. Worrying would only make it worse, he needed to stay calm.

...Too late, apparently.

His heart trimmed nervously against his ribcage, trying to free itself from his prison. It was getting worse. He needed Donatello soon.

Leonardo fumbled for his shell-phone, he always had it with his brothers on speed dial. A low, quiet ring started up, waiting for Donatello to pick up. He tapped the phone case, waiting, waiting-

"Hello?"

"Don," Leonardo gasped, "It's happening again. The quick-relief didn't work."

Donatello's breathing hitched. "Where are you?"

"Hallway between the common room and my room."

"Alright, I'll be right there."

Donatello hung up almost immediately, and a few moments later, he was in front of Leonardo, holding a pill bottle and a glass that was mostly filled with crushed ice, and just enough water to take one or two pills.

"Do you feel alright enough to drink without choking?"

Leonardo nodded stiffly, and took the pill and water handed to him, sipping carefully so he wouldn't end up accidentally drowning himself.

A little later, breathing got easier, and Leonardo reveled in it, taking deep breaths and sighing softly. He sucked on some of the ice while waiting to see if Donatello would initiate the conversation. When the other remained silent, he swallowed, paused, and finally asked.

"Why did this happen?" he asked softly and traced shapes into the condensation on the side of the glass, "Why is it back?"

"Well…" Donatello began and faltered, then shook his head, "I'm not sure. Sometimes asthma can be triggered by extreme stress, and there's been plenty of that around lately. Also, cold, dry air helps in triggering attacks as well. It may just be the environment and current mood.

"...So, I guess we're back on asthma watch?"

"Mhm."

"Shoot."

Encounters with Illegality|M|1185 Words

Read on AO3

Fandom: 9-1-1

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz, Howie "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Original Characters

Tags: Whumptober 2024, Slurred words, Eddie Diaz Takes Care of Evan "Buck" Buckley, drugged Evan "Buck" Buckley, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Mentioned Maddie Buckley, Mentioned Athena Grant, Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Date Rape Drug/Roofies, No Sex, NO RAPE OR SEXUAL ASSAULT, inaccurate police procedures

Summary: Buck hasn’t been at the bar long enough for what Eddie’s seeing.

Whumptober 2024 Day 10: Slurred Words

*takes a nap*

Summary:

After attempting escape with Carmen, Player is dragged back and kept in the dark from their punishment.

At least, until Brunt grabs the whip.

(Made for Whumptober Day 10, Poor Unforunate Souls and the prompt Whipping, as well as Day 17, Stress Positions)

Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain

Please, Please, Please

Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024

TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death

Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.

Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.

A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.

(You can also read this on AO3)

"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."

"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.

"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?" 

Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.

"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.

His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.

"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"

"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."

"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."

It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.

"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."

And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.

"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"

He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.

"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"

"Shut up you disgusting beast!"

"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.

"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"

"CRUCIO!"

There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.

Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.

"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.

"Crucio."

The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.

Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.

A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.

"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."

The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.

"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.

"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"

That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.

He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?

Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.

Was this what dying felt like?

Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.

The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.

He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.

"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.

"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."

"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.

"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"

He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.

"We're better off without that filth."

"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"

The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.

"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.

"What did he say?"

"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."

"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”

"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"

"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"

There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.

He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.

"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!" 

Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain

Please, Please, Please

Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024

TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death

Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.

Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.

A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.

(You can also read this on AO3)

"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."

"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.

"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?" 

Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.

"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.

His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.

"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"

"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."

"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."

It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.

"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."

And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.

"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"

He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.

"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"

"Shut up you disgusting beast!"

"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.

"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"

"CRUCIO!"

There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.

Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.

"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.

"Crucio."

The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.

Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.

A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.

"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."

The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.

"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.

"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"

That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.

He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?

Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.

Was this what dying felt like?

Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.

The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.

He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.

"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.

"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."

"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.

"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"

He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.

"We're better off without that filth."

"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"

The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.

"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.

"What did he say?"

"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."

"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”

"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"

"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"

There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.

He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.

"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!" 

Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain

Please, Please, Please

Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024

TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death

Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.

Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.

A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.

(You can also read this on AO3)

"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."

"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.

"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?" 

Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.

"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.

His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.

"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"

"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."

"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."

It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.

"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."

And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.

"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"

He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.

"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"

"Shut up you disgusting beast!"

"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.

"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"

"CRUCIO!"

There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.

Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.

"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.

"Crucio."

The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.

Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.

A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.

"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."

The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.

"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.

"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"

That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.

He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?

Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.

Was this what dying felt like?

Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.

The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.

He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.

"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.

"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."

"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.

"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"

He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.

"We're better off without that filth."

"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"

The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.

"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.

"What did he say?"

"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."

"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”

"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"

"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"

There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.

He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.

"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!" 

broken phone / stranded / you said you'd never leave (can’t you see that you’re lost without me?)

pt two of three (first part is prompt seven, third part is an alternate prompt which will show up on the 31st even though it's technically prompt 32)

Blatantly ignoring Jet's decree of silence until communication was required, Faye kept up a murmured running commentary as she waltzed through the enormous foyer of the hotel. Briskly bypassing the gold doors of the two elevator doors on either side of the large room, feigning an inability to hear the voices of the receptionists on both sides, she weaved around the pair of fountains burbling away without paying them any mind. 

The duality of the place was aesthetically pleasing even if she only noted it out of the corner of her eye. The dolphin of the left fountain, spurting water from its bottle nose, was frankly adorable but not nearly as appealing to her as the mermaid pouring from a seashell to send water cascading over her lithe form. 

It was the glass door elevator directly across from the entryway that was her destination and she reached it without interference from the employees who'd originally tried to call her off. As usual, proceeding confidently in the direction of your goal served to convince most potential obstacles that you were in the right despite their original assumption. 

She flipped the little hand fan she held shut with a click as she reached the bellhop before the third elevator. Flashing him a winning smile, she gestured imperiously towards the solitary button that he manned.  "Penthouse suite, my dear. Don't dawdle now, it wouldn't do for me to be fashionably late."  

It would have been awkward to continue talking to Spike - or rather, talking at him since he'd yet to make a peep in reply - so she merely hummed as the elevator began making the climb up and up and up into the heights of the hotel.  As far as meeting places went, this was certainly a ritzy choice. But then again, the company she was supposedly representing would expect no less, no matter how illicit the nature of the occasion. 

Tilting the closed fan at the bellhop in a goodbye gesture, Faye swept along the entryway of the multi-level penthouse, eyeing up the artwork and sculptures as she went.  After a few minutes, the lack of response from Spike began to truly itch. Had he bailed on her? He hadn't exactly been eager to undertake this mission… but that hadn't stopped him from providing backup before. Still though, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility for her to be stranded on her own against this foe. For one thing even if he hadn't ditched her, it would take a while to simply reach her position once she finally called to the boys. 

He'd made her a promise when he came back from his rampage months ago. He swore he'd never leave her - claimed he was lost without her. And yet he hadn't so much as chuckled at her witty dialogue, nor had he tried to ascertain if she was okay. It was not a good sign. But why?  She glared at her comm when it stubbornly refused to make a peep and tried to tamp down the worry blossoming in her heart. Had something happened to him? On the one hand, that seemed impossible - Spike Spiegel was invincible. On the other hand, it seemed all too likely that he'd somehow wound up in an altercation entirely on accident. 

So be it. She had to assume she was alone. Like before her time on the Bebop, back when she only had herself and her zipcraft to rely on. At least she was wearing her bracelet so she literally had that age-old failsafe to fall back on.  In the meantime? If she was gonna be stranded, all on her own, well… she might as well go all in for it.

Besides, she needed to vent some frustration before approaching this high stakes meeting.  Retreating back to the elevator, she used the folding fan - patting herself on the back for opting for the durable metal one - to pry open the safety doors and peer down the brightly illuminated shaft. Sunlight streaked in through the glass wall on the outside of the building, vying with the interior light from the hotel which shone through the other glass wall. 

"Thanks for nothing!" She yelled at her comm device. Damn thing was ancient and probably broken anyway so her heaving it down the shaft to smash into pieces against the top of the elevator cage couldn't possibly damage it worse.  Taking a deep calming breath, Faye tried to focus on anything other than how alone she felt as she made her way deeper into the penthouse suite.