Shblr - Tumblr Posts
yes I'm gonna slice up my arms until they're mishapen and get hospitalized just so I can get an ounce of your attention. that's completely normal and healthy behavior.
My cheeks are all cut open
My gums are tender
My fingers bleeding and stinging
The meds are making me sick
My body is giving up on me just as they all did before
why is destroying my body so fun?
my thigh when im ever inconvenienced even just a little bit
//||\\\X|/|\\||x
uh oh minor inconvenience!!! do i cut my . . . βͺοΈ loved ones off βͺοΈ calories βͺοΈ hair βͺοΈ self π all of the above in order
to anyone and everyone who wants to go deeper: don't
you will never be satisfied. there is never a depth where you say "okay this is enough" once you start down the path of going deeper you never stop. there's no end point. it's agonizing.
your self harm is serious enough as it is, you don't have to go deeper for it to be serious. you don't have to have scars. you don't have to hit the dermis or the fat for it to be real. it's real, it's serious.
there is nothing glamorous about deeper. it's not worth it.
I use sexual relationships as self harm because,
if I just give my body away it won't be mine anymore. I won't have to deal with it anymore.
Is it bad that I really love how my sh looks? It's so pretty, fresh and with scabs.
People who refuse to understand that cvtting for attention is valid make me so, so angry. Because i'm not talking about someone who does it because they want to hurt someone else/do it as "revenge" against someone to make them feel bad, I'm talking about someone who cvts to get attention because they know something is wrong, but they don't know what that something is and they can't articulate it.
If someone is resorting to cvtting themselves to get you to look at them and pay attention to them and you brush it off as just being dramatic and attention seeking, you're not helping. And usually, a lot of us hide our sh for a reason! Even if we've been clean for a while! I hid my scars for nearly a year because I didn't want anyone to know, but even if I didn't even if I showed someone to ask for help in the only way I knew how, that would've been valid.
This is how I can verbally explain my trauma.

tw self harm mentions
ok, have to say this again.
shblr! For the love of everything, STOP TAGGING SH RECOVERY ON YOUR PICS OR RELAPSE POSTS?! sorry to say it but shut the fuck up maybe? Post whatever the hell you want but STOP tagging recovery when your post is NOT about it, at all. I am trying to stay clean, stop trying to drag people down with you. Your so annoying like please Iβm begging you, stop tagging sh recovery your hurting others by posting your sui ideation for those keeping clean/trying to stay clean to read.
if your mad about this then YOUR the problem.
I wish he would kiss my scars and then kiss me so that i know it will all be okay.
i wish he would cut me. i want him to hold my wrist tenderly and slide the blade through my veins as he kisses my forehead and praises me for taking it so well. maybe he'd even wash and bandage them afterward and give me aftercare. i want to experience that intimacy of inflicting and receiving pain together. i want i want i want
remembering when my then adult boyfriend told 16 year old me that my self harm was hot. no wonder i'm fucked
ππππ πππ'π π’πππ πππππ πππ. πππ ππππ'π ππππ ππππ’ π πππ ππππππππ πππππ ππ. ππππ’ ππππππππ’ ππππ ππππ’ π πππ ππ ππ πππππ. πππ ππππ’ .... πππ ππππ'π ππ πππ’πππππ ππ πππππππ ππ
I feel like a bad influence....
This is my fault....

tw: sh
oh shit that was deeper than expected. Well at least Iβm getting further than baby styros now. I think I kinda feel more valid? ( which is stupid because all sh no matter how βbadβ it is is valid)
Although I was in the school bathroom when I did it and in a stall which I quickly discovered had no toilet paper left in it. There was a lot of blood. My leg hurts