This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things - Tumblr Posts
My timeline: omg he’s so sexy how does anyone survive that look he’s a god ugh —
My ADHD brain, squinting: Wtf is he eating? Is that an off-brand crunch wrap? Is it a really flat burrito filled only with refried beans and beef? What the hell IS that —
Me to my brain: Stop fixating on the food. Look at Jimin, he’s beautiful and handsome and somehow went straight into a perfect smolder moments after taking a bite of his mystery — seriously what is that? A massive juici patty? Is he eating Jamaican street food right now?
My brain: And why is he dressed like a grandpa in a bathrobe and silky pajama pants?
Me: OMG THE THUMB IN THE CORNER that means he was hanging out with at least one other grandparent. YOONGI? Where’s Yoongi?!
purple and orange.
colors you would never even imagine to go together
but somehow the universe shoves them into the sky to make the sunrise astonishing
I could stare for hours and hours but sadly it only lasts a few.
people don’t realize what they’re missing because they’re too busy dreaming before
dreading a new day of work
but i ,
I force myself to get up and look,
look at how beautiful this planet we call home is before people arise to only destroy it.
-anonymous
THE “””””ARMY””””” WHO KISSED JIN IS BEING FACED WITH SEXUAL ASSAULT CHARGES WE REJOICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh c'mon.... you're telling me this room has enough space for 8 children but that's apparently not enough for one tiger more?
this is like cocomelon to me
🖤
FOR SCIENCE: reblog and tag your top five songs from reputation
whats up gang (mutuals)
i just had someone who has previously harassed me and then my partner join my server, take a good friend of mine's wip drawing, set it as their pfp and attempt to gaslight said good friend into saying they stole it (no, im not kidding) and then had someone else (either an alt or someone else, idk) join with the name alias (not their discord user. which was skyflower123, their display one) oh and they got offended when i pointed out they intentionally misgendered me. actually hella funny
no, not censoring their user, because i want my community to be wary of them. dont harass them. do not engage. block and move on
a few things about this in specific:
i do not "identify" as zhongli lmao. i kin (relate to) him. same with any of my other kins
of if they identity
the only way they could have even seen this was by seeing my carrd, which is linked only on my discord profile (you have to click see more to see it)
lmao why zhongli in particular??? was that the only one they knew about?
like. if they were trying to be offensive by using "only if we're close" names (i'm basically only ok w/ my partner calling me those) why didnt they choose medic?? or hell, spy?? did- did they now know about tf2 classes? was zhongli the only one mainstream enough lmao?
it's funny because i would have been so much more offended if they said spy instead of zhongli (i am a spy kin in denial- i mean what no im not a spy kin wdym)
anyways this person has ties to like, someone in irl band i talked to, so tldr im now clearing my friends list and not talking about my online stuff to irl people no more
JJK's Hidden MVP
I think Megumama is the true MVP of JJK, period.
Cause just imagine JJK verse if she were still alive. Toji wouldn't have spiraled down to his self destructive lifestyle, he wouldn't have left Megumi, wouldn't have returned to being the sorcerer killer, wouldn't have taken the commission to kill Riko, Riko wouldn't have died, Gojo wouldn't have awakened early, Geto wouldn't have a midlife crisis at 16 and become a racist mass murderer, Megumi would've grown up with a complete happy family because you bet Megumama would keep Toji tame, Toji would've given up on gambling and fucking around because he'd be too smitten with her and maybe that way he'd have a better relationship with Megumi, Riko could've enjoyed her youth a bit longer before assimilating with Tengen so Tengen's state would've been more stable, Geto wouldn't be killed, Kenny wouldn't have gotten his hands on his technique, and if still by sheer shit luck shibuya still happened we could've had Daddy Toji making a bitch out of every curse user/curse, Geto wiping the floor with Mahibitch - so NO mass Idle Transfiguration and NO culling games AND GOJO WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN SEALED! And there's SO much more!
We don't even know Megumama's name, but SHE is a BIG catalyst of JJK and people don't talk about this enough. We could've had it all if only Gege was a bit less of a sadistic kitty... *sigh*
Rest in power, Megumama. Throughout heaven and earth, you truly did no wrong.
why is my notifications icon crooked
I FELL DOWN THESE STAIRS IN FRONT OF MY CRUSH BUT I PASSED IT OFF AND SAID “fell for you;D” TURNS OUT I HAVE A SERIOUS SPRAIN AND CANT WALK FOR A MONTH😭😂
Caesars, Jester
But yeah, I wish someone would stab those guys
…WHY?!
Funny Neurodivergent, ADHD, ASD Memes
Neurodivergent meme
why call it a rokakaka when you have an extensive list of names that are 100x better:
http://chowder.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Food
@netflix
What's the point of watching your shows if you either cancel them before they can go anywhere or end them so spectacularly poorly that everyone wishes they hadn't invested the time in it anyway? Asking for a friend.
Detroit: Become Human FanFic
Summary : Connor never stays late at the precinct. Hank leaves thinking nothing could go wrong. They caught the bastard they were looking for, had a pretty calm lunch, and headed back to the precinct to file paperwork. What Hank didn't count on was the fact that he left Connor alone with Gavin fucking Reed who, still hated the androids guts. Connor said he would be done in an hour. Hank comes back to check on Connor and finds him a sobbing mess on the floor. Whatever the hell Reed did, he was going to pay for it with his fucking life if Hank had any say on the matter.
Author’s Notes : I did a little research. Thirium affects hormone production in humans and is poisonous when ingested in a pure state. The head-canons I'm using in this story, are described below.
This happens after the perfect good ending (see Jacksepticeye's play through). I'm thinking a year or two after the revolution. Connor was welcomed back to the department but, some people still hate androids *ahem* Reed *ahem*. Androids have full rights. Hank is incredibly protective of Connor. He won't let Connor get lunch by himself or run errands after 9 pm. Hank and Connor are much closer and their relationship is growing. People can be persecuted for assaulting androids (ie. being arrested, fines, etc.). Connor is designed with ALL the normal parts of a male human (ie. penis, testicles, anus, etc.). He doesn't have the capability of self lubrication. Connor does release something akin to cum; Same consistency and color. Also, I'm going to make it especially clear, Gavin Reed is not a nice person. He thinks of Connor as a robot with no emotion, or pain. After Connor became deviant, he was able to have emotions and he can feel pain and pleasure.
PLEASE READ THE TAGS BELOW!! There is description of abuse and rape (not from Hank). If any of these are a trigger please don’t read. Also, if this is not your cup of tea, please move along. I might write something with Hank/Connor later that is not nearly as angsty.
Connor and Hank had a pretty calm day. They caught the bastard they were looking for, had lunch, and headed back to the precinct to file paperwork. It was about eight o’clock when Hank decided to call it a day. “Alright, fuck this. I’m hungry and tired. We should head home, Connor.” Connor didn’t even twitch before he replied, still typing. “You go get dinner, lieutenant, I’ll be finished with my work when you come back.”
“Alright, if anything, and I mean anything happens, hell, if the lights flicker, you fucking call me and I’ll head straight back. Got it?” Connor could tell he was being over protective yet, he didn’t understand why. He hadn’t heard anyone else in the department. “Yes, Hank. I understand.” About two minutes after Hank had left, Connor heard someone approach him from behind.
“Well, if it isn’t the fucking plastic asshole. Where’s your protector now, dipshit? He run off to get you your spare battery?” It was detective Gavin Reed. “Detective Reed, please leave me to finish my work. Lieutenant Anderson went to retrieve food for himself. He’ll be back in approximately sixty minutes,” Connor answered. “Good. Plenty of time to do whatever the fuck I feel like,” Gavin sneered.
Connor felt an impact on his temple. Everything went blurry. It was dark in the station. Connor could make out his desk and approximately where Gavin was standing; Looking proud of himself. Reed kicked the chair out from underneath Connor, who collapsed onto his hands and knees. Connor needed to call Hank. He received a swift kick to his temple again. Why was everything spinning? Reed grabbed a handful of Connor’s hair and yanked him onto his knees. Gavin bent down to whisper in his ear, “Call anyone and I swear to god Hank will find you in pieces all over the goddamn precinct.”
He immediately felt his heart drop to the floor. He couldn’t let Hank find him like that. The lieutenant would commit suicide. Possibly next to Connor. If he could vomit he would have but, he had a mission now. Survive until Hank came to rescue him. Connor answered dutifully,” Yes, sir.” Gavin finally faced him. “There’s a good little android. I heard rumors saying you have all of the fun parts. Is that true? Do you actually have an ass?” Connor began to panic. He didn’t want this. He heard stories from North and the other androids that had gone through sexual assault and sexual abuse. It had marked them for life.
Connor answered shakily,” Y-yes, s-sir.” He had to calm himself. minutes had passed. He hoped the lieutenant would be on time and wouldn’t waste time in unnecessary conversation. Gavin immediately unbuckled Connor’s belt and pulled it out from the loops in his pants. Connor immediately began to scramble away from Reed. He gripped Connor’s wrists tight and tied them behind his back. “Detective, don’t do this. Please, I don’t want this,” Connor begged. Gavin without delay removed connor’s tie, grabbed the sides of his face with one hand, forced Connor’s mouth open, threaded the tie through his teeth and tied it behind his head.
Reed forced Connor to lay completely flat on his stomach, with a strong kick to his right shoulder. He heard a crack from his joint and instantly screamed. Tears were streaming down his face. Connor could feel the thirium rich blood seep through his shirt. His jacket was on the back of his chair. Suddenly, Reed snatched Connor’s pants down his legs and pulled out his own fully erect cock. Connor immediately knew what was going to happen. He began to sob. “Damn, this stuff is better than the shit I have at home,” Gavin spoke as he shoved his fingers in between the dislocated joint.
He should be back. Hank should be here. No, no, no, no, Hank can’t be late. Please Hank, help me. Help me, please. Connor could hear Gavin coating his cock in his own blood. He jolted as he felt Reed press the tip of his cock into his ass. There was a slight burn but, it was definitely manageable. Without warning Gavin sunk his cock all the way into Connor’s ass. Connor let out an even louder scream than the one before. It felt as if the detective was trying to tear him in half. Then, Gavin began to pound ruthlessly into Connor. It hurt. Every sensor was screaming in pain.
Finally, Gavin reached orgasm and pulled out of Connor roughly. “That was fun. We should do that again sometime.” Connor laid perfectly still and silent. Tears were still pouring down his face. Everything hurt. “I’ll leave this mess for Hank to find. I think he’ll appreciate it. See you tomorrow Connor,” Gavin yelled as he walked out the door. Oh God. Connor tested the restraints; His right shoulder was dislocated. It hurt like nothing else. If he could just … get it.
Connor threw his belt and untied the makeshift gag. Miraculously, He heard Hank enter the main office. “Hank, I need help. Hank,”He hoarsely called. “Connor, where the fuck are you? We have to go,” Hank complained. Connor was barely able to make a sound before Hank found him, sprawled across the floor, clothes scattered all around. “Holy shit, Connor! Connor are you okay? Connor I need you to answer me,” Hank cried, as he rolled Connor onto his back with his head in Hank’s lap.
Connor began to tell Hank what had happened,” Detective Reed, h-he insulted me, th-then physically attacked me.” Connor began to sob. “H-he th-then re-restrained m-me and r-raped me,” As Connor finished, Hank pulled him into an embrace. He held Connor as he sobbed hysterically. Connor slowly calmed down; still sniffling, Hank asked,“How much damage did he do?” Connor ran a diagnostic. “Only minor components were damaged. My right shoulder is dislocated.”
“Okay, Do you think you stand,” Hank asked. Theoretically the components in his legs were fine. “I think so,” answered Connor. Hank corrected Connor’s pants, sat him upright and stood up. He offered his hands to help Connor stand. Connor gratefully accepted them. As soon as he stood, his knees began to give in. Why was this happening? Connor ran another diagnostic. This time it displayed an error stating the structural integrity of his anus was compromised which resulted in a fissure.
“Connor, are you certain nothing else is damaged?” Hank was skeptical. He was going to find out anyway. “My original diagnostic missed a minor issue. I believe Detective Reed caused an anal fissure,” Connor supplied. “In english please,” Hank answered. “Detective Reed when forcing me to have anal sex, tore the lining inside of my anus. This is making it very difficult and painful to walk,” replied Connor. “Alright, Connor. Do I need to carry you?”
“That would be the best course of action at the moment.” Connor needed someone with access to spare parts, blue blood, and the information on how to repair damaged androids. He was not going back to CyberLife. He couldn’t think of setting his foot inside one of those buildings again. His next logical choice was the founder himself, Elijah Kamski. The last time he and Hank were there he tried to convince Connor to shoot Chloe. If Kamski refused to help them, there was one last person he could go to. That was, Markus. Markus had said if there was anything Connor needed, he would always be willing to help him.
Hank had no idea on how to help Connor. It pissed him off. It was the car accident all over again but, so much worse. There was one person he knew that could help them. Elijah fucking Kamski. If that fucker did anything to Connor, he’d shoot his goddamn brains out; Without question. After this pressing shit was over with he had his own goddamn mission. Beat the shit out of Gavin Reed. He was going to pay for what he did with his fucking life.
I've loved Loki since the first Thor movie. I have now joined the collective hell that is the Loki TV show. Holy shit, I would've never thought that Owen Wilson could truly act. I was happily surprised. The first episode put a knife in my heart and then the second just twisted it. Why does it hurt so much, when I have my favorite character back?!
WHY IN THE FUCKING HELL DID THEY KILL ESKEL?!?!!!! There is NO FUCKING REASON!!HIS DEATH ISN'T EVEN PLOT RELATED!!!!! NOT AT ALL!!! ALL BECAUSE THE WRITERS HAVE NO IDEA HOW A GODDAMN LESHY WORKS!!!! NETFLIX CAN BURN TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!!
Record of Ragnarok “Click and Drag” game, Part 2!
FLASH WARNING!!!
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*by jealous I mean that he/she cares about you ! <3
let me know what you got, or if I should add other characters!!
so i was ya know just sittin at my computer like ya do.... and just sorta said out loud to myself ‘Tumblr... more like slumblr” ????? Like ya ok sure/ whatever you say bud
Jschlatt... Pfft
between this and the queen schlatt is gonna be put on a goddamn watch list