Useless - Tumblr Posts
Oh splash splash, wet wet
The used prompt is from @hanjizoeisdabomb. When I saw this sketch of someone who has water poured over him, I thought that would suit Mustang the most :) (since water makes him useless). Mabye Riza did it because he said/did something dumb...could be possible!
Arbitrary Advice #1
Keep your change.
Start a change jug and, once it’s full, count it.
You won’t believe how much money you collect through change.
P.S. Even though I believe the penny has a purpose, its purpose doesn’t stop me from hating it.
“Your looks are the only thing you have going for you. And even your beauty is fading.”
Women’s Shelter part 2:
My experience was not good, hence the negativity in my last post about it. Let me explain.
My intake worker asked me all of the questions that you don’t ask a survivor.
“Why didn’t you leave?” “You didn’t have children? What kept you there?” “So he did all that to you and you still didn’t tell anyone?” “Do you still love him?”
This woman had a lot of experience in her line of work. So not only does she know the answers to these questions, she knows that asking these things is outrageously distressing because I don’t have the fucking answers.
This wasn’t supposed to be therapy, and I'm shelling out my deepest, darkest broken bits during our first meeting?
After my Personal Danger assessment her advice was to “take extra care.” I half expected her to extend me her “thoughts and prayers.”
There are two different group meeting types - an "introductory" and “advanced” group. They recommend you do 6 weeks of the first before jumping into the second. Which is swell, except they only offer that during daytime hours, and I work a 9-5. So i choose the second one because I have to and then she tells me “Ok, you’ll probably be looking at getting a call toward the end of the summer.”
Let’s summarize, I was:
1. Unnecessarily emotionally ravaged by someone I don’t know. 2. Told in an official capacity that I am in mortal peril. 3. Given 0 tips, tricks, or otherwise on how to protect myself. 4. Recommended an 'essential step' and told " oh nevermind" because they can't accommodate me. 5. Advised that it would be MONTHS before I’ll be able to partake and further my healing.
HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVER HELPED SOMEONE IN CRISIS?
IS THERE A SUGGESTION BOX ANYWHERE?!
CAN I SWEAR IN HERE?!
"By now I think it's easier to just buy a new one"
- my roommate after struggling to iron his shirt for the past 20 minutes
And I've come to realize that no matter how hard I tried no matter how loud I screamed no matter how far I ran I will never reach you
Is it okay to give up now
Maybe it's better for me to be alone That way nobody have to see how much of a disappointment I've become
I didn’t have a happy childhood.
I was always alone, sitting at the back corner of the class. My teacher, despite knowing I can’t see the board, put me there. When I asked to be moved, he denied my request, saying that I should just wear glasses. And i did. Little did he know, all my previous teachers gave me the exact same attitude, they were the reason my eyesight was ruined. I struggled to keep up with my studies.
Unlucky me, I was seated next to the meanest kid at school, also surrounded by his friends. They pulled my hair, took my glasses, hide my stuff, locked me in the storage room, ruined my notes, hit me with a ball, splashed water at me, stabbed me with a pen, and make fun of me. They made the whole school joined them make fun of me. They all think that’s funny. I became the target of bullying in my school. There was one time, somebody tripped me. I fell. In front of kids my age, older, and younger. My skirt sprayed open, thank god I always wear shorts underneath. I ran to the nurse office and stayed there until schools over.
After that day, the bullying was getting worse each second. I just can’t take it anymore. So when they started pulling my hair and spatting insults at me in the middle of class, my eyes got blurry from tears threatening to fall. I told them to stop or I’ll go tell the teacher. They didn’t. Of course. So I gathered all my courage and went to my teacher’s table. I couldn’t think straight at that time, all I think was how to end this all, I can’t take this anymore. It was all or nothing. But what my teacher did broke me completely. He snapped at me. He yelled at me for disturbing class. He said that they just wanted to be friends with me, that’s their way of getting to know me. According to him, it was my own fault, that I should take care of myself. His eyes were cold, he stared at me like I’m something disgusting. The tears that was in my eyes suddenly disappeared. He then told me to sit back or I could just get out of his class forever.
I got back to my seat and stayed silent. I didn’t even think about their laughter about my actions earlier. I was stunned. He didn’t care at all, did he. I was approximately 11, for fucks sake. How the hell am I supposed to understand that it was just teasing. All I understand was I was being bullied and harassed. His words really left a mark on me. I realized something really important. If your life feels like crap, it’s because of you yourself. If you feel like shit, then it’s all your fucking fault. It’s because you’re useless. You don’t have the right to be called human being. Nobody cares about what other people think, now how they feel.
My shitty life didn’t end there. Whenever I made mistakes, my dad would hit me, and said hurtful things about me, then he would blame himself for me being like that. He was never at home, yet he still blame himself because of me. Hearing all that, I felt bad. I pitied him for having a child like me. I hated myself even more I didn’t think it was possible, but it did. Nobody hates me more than myself now. My scars I got from my dad was a reminder how I bring misfortune to his life. And my mother would always had that eyes, staring at me. That was the worse. Her eyes that would screamed all of her disappointment at me, sees all of my faults and imperfection. She never said anything. But her eyes explained it all. But that’s okay, I know both of them love me so much, even though I know I will never make them proud of me. Who the hell would be proud of a daughter who hated herself.
My one and only source of happiness, is my siblings. We were always together. We understood each other. I never told them about my problems because they were too pure for this kind of world, my kind of world. They may not realize it but they were my saviors. I didn’t cut because I don’t want them to see. I stopped myself from suicide because I don’t want them to see how cruel the world is. They are my sun, my light. They’re always there for me, I fight with them until I forgot about my problems, I joked with them until I forgot about school, I argued with them until I forgot about my shitty life. I love them so much I couldn’t love myself anymore.
So if you’re reading this, I just want you to know that even when you feel like life is not meant for you, remember that God always sent us angels to help us get through all the hardships in life. Please stay strong and stay alive. You’re beautiful and there’s somebody out there looking out for you. Smile :)
Someone: I hate you
Me: No one hates me more than myself
My friend just asked me why I’m not afraid to risked my life because I earlier I just ran across the road to get some old lady’s vase that was about to be hit by a car (which I learned later that it’s her late husband’s treasure).
So how do I explain that I’m ready to die at any time? How do I explain that I already write a letter for my friends and family? How do I explain that I’m just too afraid to end my life myself?
My dream
Teacher: What do you want to be in the future?
Friend: A doctor
Friend: An astronaut
Friend: To end world hunger
Me: Dead
Teacher: ....
Everyone: ....
Me: ...preferably anytime soon
My dad and I were discussing the best and worst alternate castings for Gandalf. We decided that Nicholas Cage was the worst and we couldn’t decide on the best, but the best AMERICAN Gandalf would probably be Morgan Freeman.
Henry’s powers are useless
Okay so
1) Super powered family members but gets none of their useful magic e.g. Emma’s good magic or the darkest power of all time from grandad... so can’t do any of the bidbidi-bobbidi-boo
2) Has heart of truest believer but only works when he’s in Neverland or Pan’s has it.... so basically can’t do anything again
3) Becomes the Author, which is apparently more powerful then the dark one, but then breaks the freakin pen so it just makes everyones lives that much harder. (Side note! doesn’t even do his job of writing things down. That might be helpful when... oh I don't know.... a memory wiping curse happens every other week)
Come on ouat writers stop giving henry cooll titles but then making them totally redundant!
Okay rant over I can carry on now.
I thought my passion was art
I thought my passion was writing
..but I don’t know anymore...
..I’m starting to think I don’t have a passion at all...I don’t do anything..I don’t like anything...
..everything is empty and pointless..just a distraction from pain and emptiness..but nothing that I’m truly doing out of real drive and passion..
..I can’t do anything..
..and I am nothing....
My kitchen is being upgraded and I've been without hot water for four days, but it’s fine because I'm depressed and I wasn't going to shower anyway.
Thought that just now, after completing just 2 lectures in entire 24hrs.
Done and dusted
i’m sorry ma’am but i’m new here, would you mind if i borrowed a tumblr handbook to catch up with the rest of the class? i’m a fast learner but i always get stuck at the difference between ‘op’ and ‘otp’… no i am gen z, i promise! please, don’t make me join the boomers…
New phone
My grandma upgraded her phone so I got her old iPhone 4 and I'm very disappointed people hype up iPhones but it doesn't work as well as my kindle. It's practically useless as I can't listen to what I want without paying spotify and the screen is too small to play minecraft. I'm upset