Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Last year as I entered 2018 broken and scared, I made the decision that, whatever happened, 2018 was not going to look like the Hell that was 2017.

My 2018 in Summary:

1. I cut him off and stuck to it without caving.

2. I took my fitness seriously again and (despite some self inflicted set backs) became stronger than I have ever been.

3. I went back to theatre after a forced 3 year hiatus.

4. I started digging in therapy and made it about me again.

5. I came out.

6. I started dating.

I don't give myself credit often, but I think I kept my promise to myself in a big way.

The romanticized, yet ellusive, idea of happiness isn't real to me, but 2019 feels like it's ripe with potential and possibilities.

It has been a long, long time since I have felt that way.

I Got A New Phone

I'm playing around with the ring tones, attributing specific ones to my regular people.

The tone I used for texts from him was in the list of possibilities. When I heard it my stomach dropped and I broke out into a sweat.

Does this shit ever stop?

No Answer

Silly old emo song sent me into a flashback.

Once I was certain he’d walked away and was done with his rampage I’d take a moment to breathe before trying to stand up and evaluate the damage . 

More frequently as time went on I would think the same thing:  How did it come to this?

Some old habits die hard, but I'm not who I used to be.

I had a successful date. A very successful date.

Fresh perspectives