Concealment - Tumblr Posts

Pathfinder Inspired Spell: Blur (Glamour)

A Glamour spell to aid in concealment in situations the user would like to go unnoticed due to safety and protection purposes. This especially works well at night for when walking home.

You will Need:

Small vial or bottle charm with cork

black ink

water

dropper (makes it easier)

Gray ribbon, string or yarn

Steps:

Add your water to the vial, though be sure to leave room to add in your ink.

Add 1-4 drops of black ink into vial

Cork it tightly

Swirl bottle clockwise focusing on the ink mixing with the water inside it. Envision black shadows swirling about the bottle, concealing it from your view, leaving it in a hazy black fog of swirling shadows.

“Blackness please become my veil, keep me hidden without fail. Let me pass by like a shadow of the night, Until I return home to the safety of light.”

Tie gray ribbon/string around bottle so it can be worn around the neck

Wear it when you are in need of concealment.

Cleanse in the moonlight and night air; recharge via swirling the contents of bottle and visulization

I have a problem with guilt.

I am haunted by these specters

One by one

Till all I can see is the need for my damnation.

It is easy for me to get turned around in it.

Perhaps I can force down a couple thoughts

But all it takes is one big self-accusation

Then I am drowning beneath the broken damn.

Everything is my fault.

So my mental anguish tells me.

I am responsible for all the bad

Makes me easy to manipulate.

I gaslight myself for fucks sake

And always need to see the best in people.

Suddenly years are lost

While I'm still wondering

"maybe it really is me?"

Add to this a troubled connection to reality

And all the other psychological insecurities,

I risk reverting to that corner

Holding my head

Rocking violently back and forth.

I don't want to go to those dark places.

I don't see poetry in it like I used to.

I don't want to die

And I do not wish to feel compelled towards it.

My torturers have always been loved ones

Ever since I was a little child.

"I love you!

I'll never hurt you!"

While his hand is wrapped around his child's neck.

Kept repeating

Hurt by love.

"Be this do this don't you love god?

Wicked

Sinner

"How can you even face yourself!"

I always bowed.

Evolved to hide in plane sight.

Subservient

I never did anything of my own volition.

I didn't offer ideas or options

I just recycled what I knew they wanted to hear.

I became perfect

And was perfect

A marvelous reproduction

Of the conscience of the person talking at me.

I regurgitated their own words

"and it was good"

I mimicked their neuroses

"and it was good"

I broke me into a malleable putty

So I could be molded into their image.

I became a shape shifter

And disappeared entirely.

.

I have made a lot of progress.

Hurt the people I cared for most

When I turned out to be hollow.

Worse than hollow

Filled with raging psychic pain

From the life long concealment of my person.

A lie

Who professed to love.

Drew close to the door of my own extinction.

Saw what I had become.

Been fighting to heal

To grow and mature.

Yet somedays I still get low

Even after a stellar day,

Especially after a stellar day,

And begin to question myself

Wondering

"what if I am wrong?"

Guilt for being happy.

Guilt for being free.

Guilt for refusing the old pains

And the ones who caused it most.