Incorrect Iron Man - Tumblr Posts
Tony: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateurs.
Peter: That sounds like a challenge.
Tony: I can't stress this enough, that is not a challenge.
Peter: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!
Tony [losing hairs]: There is no challenge!
The world's greatest mystery
[Tony and Peter eating dinner]
Peter: *eats a bite, gets up with fork in hand and walks out*
Tony: ????
Peter: *walks back in* where was I going?
Tony: yeah I was wondering
Morgan: Can Peter be my brother?
Tony: You know what? Sure. Why not.
Peter: *surprised* Wait, really?
Tony: *slamming down adoption papers he had ready* Congratulations, you’re family now. Sign here.
Stephen: Right now, I'm not sure if I want to kick you or push you off a bridge
Tony: Can I pick?
Pepper: It looks like it's gonna be a white Christmas this year!
Tony: It's supposed to rain on the 24th
Pepper, covering Morgan, Peter, Harley and Nebula's ears:
A defensive Vision covering Wanda's ears:
Natasha covering Clint's ears:
Bucky and Steve struggling to cover each other's ears:
Stephen: STOP.
Tony: did you know that when spiders mate, the female usually eats the male
Natasha:
Natasha: I was aware in grade 8.
Clint: [Slowly scoots to the other side of the couch]
Tony: did you know that when spiders mate, the female usually eats the male
Natasha:
Natasha: I was aware in grade 8.
Shut up, you're older than Sesame Street.
- Peter to Tony
Tony: Honeybear, I.. I really hope I'm not like Howard.
Rhodey: You're not, Tones. Trust me.
Tony, sighing in relief: Oh yeah? Guess that means I'm officially a DILF then.
Rhodey: Yeah— wait what?
Tony: A DILF? Devoted Involved Loving Father?
[S-M;NWH — Interrogation Scene]
Interrogator: We all already know what you did, Mr. Parker.
Peter, biting his lip and looking down:
Interrogator: It's better to admit to them now, it might lessen your punishment.
Peter, sighing: Okay! Okay. You got me. It was me who clogged the toilet last night, but I swear it was an accident, and I tried to fix it, but I just made it worse and it was so embarrassing—
Interrogator:
Tony: I told you! I told you it wasn't me, May!
May: How could've I known?! You're a rich person in a normal apartment, you were more likely to not be used to our bathroom!
Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.
Tony: So kid, anybody you like at school?
Peter: Well I sexually identify as a mistake so what does that say?
Tony: That says “another tharapy appointment.”
Tony: Ned, what was the first thing you did after the shooting?
Ned: I called my parents and told them that I was okay.
Tony: And what was the first thing Peter did?
Ned: He ate a banana.