My Adhd - Tumblr Posts

My mom rlly drove me to school one time only for me to forget the folder with all my VERY MUCH NEEDED registration forms and then drove me home to get them, only for me to FORGET THEM AGAIN and have to drive all the way home a second time.

how am i just now getting diagnosed w/ adhd???!?

i am rawdogging my ADHD

and somehow it is fucking me.

What I’ve spent the last 3 hours doing

- Watching “The Queen’s Gambit”

- Looking up Beth’s and Townes age difference

-Found out Beth is an INTJ

-Researched INTJs

-Read several articles talking about the difference between INTJs and INTPs

-Went to Pinterest and looked at INTP memes

-Saw one that said “Takes IQ quizzes for fun”

-Took an online IQ quiz. Had to pay for results.

- Took an online quiz AGAIN. Had to pay for results AGAIN.

-Did one that claimed to be free. Had to pay for results.

-Saw an article recommending one free quiz

- Took free quiz and enjoyed it :)

- Then took another quiz that was similar to that one to try and correct my simple mistakes from the first quiz

-Got a worse result on my second try

-Got sad and realized I just spent 3 hours doing all of that

Tl;dr : I have no concept of time . Pls help.

Adding this to “anything worth doing is worth doing” poorly in my list of advice that actually helps me get shit done.

How to Finish

I drew this poster for Jon Acuff and his FINISH book tour. Big thanks to Jon for this collaboration, his book has some great ideas about how to complete creative and life goals.

I’ve got 99 plot bunnies and I can’t write one.

You ever start writing and just go completely the wrong place? I’m trying to write a comfy slice of life about a mage running an item shop, and the guide - who’s just meant to introduce the town and show him around - keeps trying to convince him to run away with her and go on adventures.

Man having ADHD and being a witch do be aggravating sometimes ngl, like

*lights my spirit guides altar candle*

Me: :)

My guides: :)

Also me: damn they must be pissed I haven't spoken to them in like a year

My guides: but—

Don't worry gang I hear you, but damn it's been a hot hot minute 😂

My life is basicly just trying to focus on one task, but my brain is playing LOTS of other thoughts.

80% of it I don't even understand or related to the topic

10% is trying to get back on task

9% is branching the topic off in lots of other topics

And the 1% is the actual task I'm working on

What's the weirdest thing your adhd made you forget?

I'll go first: I couldn't remember Marilyn Monroe's name, and I kept coming back to Beyonce and Celine Dion...

Wanna do this😞

You put the three of us together we probably could build an engine. 🙂

And yes, we all have dyslexia😞

Object impermanence is all fun and games until you leave your vibrators in the sink and your dad finds them

Side note: how do I hire a hitman on mysel?

I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD and ASD. The adults in my life (not naming names for privacy) didn't want to admit that I was neurodivergent due to the stigma. I had issues at the time to put it lightly, and I was only diagnosed as an adult. At school a teacher of mine put me in the special needs class with no permission from my parents (which is illegal in my state). My parents were livid and had me pulled from the school. In my experience there, as a little 3rd grader, I was treated like a toddler. I was a normal kid, I was just prone to outbursts and I struggled in class. They strait up babied us and gave us looooong condescending talks about not getting upset at people and being quiet. Years later I expressed my distaste for how crappy special needs education is, and an ex-friend thought I was horrible for it. This is because they thought special needs students = little dumb babies that don't know what they are doing. we are not friends anymore obviously.

point is: ITS ALREADY HARD BEING NERODIVERGENT EVEN AS AN ADULT, and our education system is NOT preparing them for the real world. All the special needs class does is to shut the poor kids involved up so they are "not in anyone's way". They don't actually teach you how to cope with your outbursts in a constructive way, they just want you to shut up so the "smart" kids can learn. I am lucky that I got help as an adult for my ADHD and ASD, but most people are not so lucky. It disgusts me.

as someone officially diagnosed with autism YOU DO NOT WANNA BE DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU READ A BOOK ABOUT FROGS AND PLAY WITH TOYS AS PART OF YOUR ASSESSMENT THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

relationships

if i were to describe my personal relationships with other fleshy pink meat creatures, It would be that everyone i know is a judgemental biological flesh computer jotting down and computing every mistake i have ever made. with this, the fleshy meat computers calculate how hate-able and like-able i am, and is set to explode if i exceed my "being a crappy person" debt. my social life consists of me trying to disarm ticking time bombs where i can't tell what time they are all set to and then i mentally crucify myself for every little mistake i have made my entire life.

psychonauts theory/analysis/headcannon: an analogy on neurodivergence?

spoilers for psychonauts, the rhombus of ruin and maybe psychonauts 2 these games are amazing please play at least the first game. the first game is only like 10 USD on steam and it is often on sale for waaay less. it is a very good underrated game. also TW: mentions of childhood abuse and personal experiences. you have been warned.

I will mostly talk about the first game. Yes i am aware i am probably overthinking it. I think we all know the first game isn't the most accurate to mental illnesses. The original game came out 18 years ago and was meant to be a dark comedy game rather than a sensitive depiction of mental health. I am not going to go into that aspect because time have changed since it released and I think it is redundant, but if you want my opinion I thought most of the jokes were hilarious. the first game wasn't meant to be a good depiction, so i take it for what it is and laugh along with it. I think the fact I relate to some of the characters makes it funnier personally.

but no, today I want to bring up a head cannon/theory thing: being a psychonaut is a metaphor for being nerodivergent. bear with me, here is my reasoning.

1- Raz's opening speech in the first game. "you were born with a special gift, but the people around you treat it like a curse. your mother is afraid of you, and your father looks at you with shame in his eyes" "back home your powers make you a loner, an outcast, a circus freak, but in this dojo, in this psychic dojo, they make you a hero." no explanation needed, this speech touched me in a way even if it is a bit corny. This bit here establishes that being psychic is still very taboo in this universe, as if being psychic is seen as something wrong with you rather than just an aspect you were born with. In this point in the games timeline, being psychic is slowly becoming less taboo and more of a valuable asset to society.

2- Raz's family a little bit ago i made a list about how much i hated the interns from the second game and how Agent Forsythe's actions against Raz felt a tad forced. I do not feel the same way about Raz's family. why ? well for one Raz has known them his whole life, and that "psychics are bad" came from SOMEWHERE. It is also implied that a lot of the biggotry came from his mother more than his father oddly enough. i am about to say something that is not for the faint of heart. please be advised. are you ready ? Are you sure you are ready ? meat circus. OK good now take a minute to calm down from your traumatic flashback from reading those words and then continue. The end level of the first game depicted Raz's struggle with his father. Raz was constantly under the impression that he was hated because of how his parents talked about being psychic. then Raz's father told him what he REALLY felt about his son and what was really happening. this hit me hard. some nerodivergent disorders are genetic, like in my case ADHD. and when a genetic disability exists and the family does not know they have it, then often times it is harder to get help due to prejustice. it is the "oh we are normal! i acted just like you when i was your age!" mentality. my whole life i have been told that "you are not [slur for disabled that starts with R]! you just need to get better at school! stop being lazy!", and then later i would learn one of my parents was just like me and hid it for their own safety. i can totally see "fortune teller" as a kind of slur for psychics truth be told. imagine being told as a child you are not a "fortune teller" and that "fortune tellers" are bad, and you being told that makes you feel like something is wrong with you. You feel like no one in your family loves you. It could be that Raz's father hid his psychic abilities from Raz's mother so he wouldent be scrutinized, while also hurting about what happened to his family in the past. It was the "fortune tellers" fault he was like this, so how could he love himself for being one? A headcannon I have was that Raz's mother already had pretty problematic thoughts about psychics, so when Raz's father discovered he was psychic he hid it away due to how it hurt his family and how they could react. It is established that psychics can find out they are psychics way later in life, such as mila's memory of the orphanage burning down and her suddenly being able to hear the voices of the dying children. This is somewhat accurate to adult diagnosis in my opinion.

3- Whispering rock could possibly be a special needs camp note: there is a difference between programs that teach you how to cope with your disability, and programs that basically abuse kids. Fuck autism speaks, fuck ABA programs, and a big fat special middle finger to Judge Rotenberg Educational Centre (don't google it unless you want to be angry). this bit here is a little obvious, but i thought i should point out that in the end of psy 2, agent forsythe mentioned teaching raz's family how to use their abilities safely. as I mentioned, some people find out they are psychic later in life, which is pretty common with nerodivergent disorders. It could be that whispering rock is a way to teach kids how to cope early in life so they don't struggle with it worse later on. this one is a bit of a stretch i will admit, but i got something way stronger next up:

4- Dr Loboto Dr loboto came from an emotionally neglectful home. His parents would remove toys from him and he would use his psychic abilities consistently to act out. this is normal for an emotionally neglected kid. his parents did not want a child, they wanted a perfect "doll" to do as they wanted. they loved the idea of a perfect ideal family and not actually having a child. and so they lobotomized him. Lobotomization was very common in the 50s. It was seen as a cure-all for all mental issues. housewife acting out? being her in to get snipped. child acting out? ice pick procedure. 9 times out of 10 it would end up making existing issues worse, or cause said patient to turn into a vegetable, or even death. If you want a famous case, see president JFK's sister. This hits me hard personally in multiple ways. I can see this as being a reflection of how people would "cure" their autistic kids by getting them lobotomized, or how in the modern day we still try to "cure" kids by abusing them and hurting them. Sometimes it wasn't even nerodivergent kids, just acting out is enough for people to do this! One of the reasons why i was diagnosed as an adult was the fear of doctors and teachers wanting to dope kids up to keep them quiet, god forbid an 8 year old is a little energetic, adhd or not. dr loboto is a traumatized broken man that was forcibly given brain damage because his parents loved the idea of a child rather than the child they made. I am lowkey kinda proud that he became a dentist to spite his father.

overall, i have heard people mention that psychonauts is a metaphor for being LGBT. I can see it, but honestly i feel as though the metaphor for nerodivergence is more strong. truth be told: we have a very similar history of bigotry, gaslighting, and abuse. we are siblings you and I, and our brotherhood will last generations. We are brothers and sisters and neithers in our pain. anyways that is my theory, let me know what yall think! I know i can come off as a little aggro but i genuinely would love to hear your thoughts!

does anyone else struggles watching "bart gets an F" because it hits close to home ? that end scene where he still failed the test even though he studied hard just hits me hard man. this fucking episode-

"you should be yourself! get out of your shell!" "ew not like that"!

ADHD things:

- “I’ll do my work in a sec, but first I have to stare at this exact spot in the carpet for no less than 10 minutes”

- “My nail is split, I have to split it more” proceeds to rip off entire piece of nail down to the finger

- “My toenails look like half-peeled-up stickers, I must peel them off now” toes start bleeding

- Any noises in a silent space are immediately too loud

- “Whatever you need me to do, you’re gonna have to wait for at least half an hour while I finish this super important thing that I’ve been doing for 3 hours already”

- Zoned out during conversation and people start laughing “Wait, what?” “Oh, never mind”

- “What am I supposed to be doing right now?” Looks over at person next to me, “Where did they get that paper? Where do I get that paper?”

Feel free to add your own, these

I need to share this because I feel so genuinely proud of myself right now.

Because of my ADHD I struggle to stay focused, and process and manage my time well enough to get school work done, mostly because a lot of the classes that I get homework for, I’m not interested in. Math and history are where is hits me the worst.

For once in my life, I finished my math homework before 11 pm!!!! I feel good and honestly kind of want to start crying, I can’t remember the last time this happened 🥲☺️

Anyone else with sensory processing issues will know the hell that is being stuck in a noisy, crowded restaurant, being forced by your parents to either pause your music or take your earbuds out entirely to talk to your family, except nobody even talks to you.