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her last letter

“Junhui one shot”

Pairing: Wen Junhui x female reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: implied death

A small synopsis: Jun’s lover left only a letter for him.

Word count: 1.1K

Author’s Note: I was confused which member would go with this and then I randomly thought about Jun because my brain just won’t register anyone else than Cheol 🚶🏻‍♀️

I looked at our room, it felt empty. Home didn’t feel like home anymore, it was just house made of bricks and cement. I looked around our room once again. I looked at our pictures, we were smiling, we looked happy. I walked towards the study table and picked up the photo frame, we took this picture on our third anniversary. I smiled looking at the picture.

I still remember that day clearly, she looked so beautiful, “we should actually take pictures on our marriage anniversaries so that we can keep on counting it with every picture. We will grow together.” she looked so happy on the way to studio. The smile on her face, I could never forget, not until my last breath. All the memories felt so fresh with her, I smiled bitterly, remembering how she looked and her endearing habits. She was my home, without her it’s nothing.

That day we clicked picture and went for an ice cream date, she said she was craving for ice cream that day and once I saw her puppy eyes I gave up. How could I not when she looked that cute, pouting.

If only words could describe how much I loved her and I still love her. One day I wish I could tell her how much she always meant to me because all the moments we spent together were never enough for me. I went to sit on the chair near the study table, and looked at the place where the photo frame was kept earlier. I wanted to tell myself to hold back the tears. I felt like my body going numb slowly and my heart was shattering.

If only I could hear my heart shattering, it would make me realize that this is real and I’ve to live like this.

I opened one of the drawer, and saw a blue envelope; something inside me told me, don’t open it because it might break me to that point, I can never recover. But the other side wanted to open the envelop and face the truth. But what was the truth? I’ve already faced it and I was in denial, and I very well know nothing was going to work out if I stay like this.

I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself from whatever was infront of me, this could be something heartbreaking or this could be something that would give me a reason to live like this and there was only one way to know; and that was to open the envelope

I opened the blue envelope and there was a letter, even before I could open it I felt like my eyes tearing up. I looked up so that I could stop my tears but if only that worked.

I opened the letter and it was from her. She wrote in her pretty handwriting and she addressed me,

“My one and only love,

Jun,

I always wanted to write letters for you with love and now that you’re reading my letter, I wanted to tell you, how much I love you. I loved you and I will always love you.

I don’t know how things will turn out, when you would be reading this, sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t write this to you every time before leaving for my work, but you know if I could tell you how much I loved in person maybe I wouldn’t be writing this letter but one part of me hopes you never get to read this letter because you know what it means now. For last four years, I’ve been doing this, writing letters before I leave and I burn them once I return because I am back; and if I am back I won’t need to write and tell you how much I love you instead I could love you more. That’s why I hope you never get to read this one as well but if you ever do, I really want you to know something.

You were worth my life. So, if I leave someday, never blame yourself, okay? You were the brightest moon of my life. I hope we will meet again but not very soon, later; until then can you live for me love? And be happy? because I can’t be happy if you will be sad. That’s why, please be happy for me Jun.

You gave me the best memories I could ever ask. Those memories always stay in my heart. I can never thank you enough for giving the best to me Jun, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.

Wish there was any way to tell you how much I loved you. You were my world, my own happiness, which I always dreamt of. Thank you for loving me endlessly and I know, you will say you can’t live without me, just the way we tell eachother every day, but today I will request you something, please promise me, you will agree with me” tears were falling, making the letter wet and I was nodding as if I could hear her voice and she was infront of me, requesting me.

“Can you please live for me and be happy? let me go and be happy. Don’t hold onto me for too long, I’ll be watching you, love. Don’t hurt yourself and always remember, I love you so much Jun.

I am sorry to break the promise which I made on our wedding and sorry for leaving you alone. I love you Jun.

With love, Xia”

I felt like I was choking on my own tears and felt like I couldn’t breath anymore. This was more painful than I could ever imagine, this was hurting me mor than I could bear.

How could she request something like that to me, how could I ever let her go? She was my beginning and end, so how could she say that to me. the way my tears were falling, I wanted to cry until my tears dry down and I don’t fee anything anymore.

I felt so lonely without her, how am I supposed to spend a single day without her now, “Why would you break the promise you made me on our wedding to never leave me alone?” I was looking at her letter, how did she feel when she wrote this, “Xia, come here and tell me, how could you do this to me?” my voice broke again.

I couldn’t stop looking at the picture and the letter I was holding, everything reminded me of her. She was my other half.

“Please come back, Xia, I miss you” wish tears could bring her back right now. “Please Xia”

[05:26 pm]

I was walking towards the university gate absent-mindedly, I was just missing Seungcheol, it’s been two weeks since I last saw him and I know he busy that’s why I can’t tell him to come and meet me whenever I miss him everytime. Being a student makes me busy but working makes him busier and I don’t want him to overwork. I wish I could just go to his apartment and cuddle with him.

My classes were over and I looked at the surrounding, I didn’t feel like going to dorm right now, I wanted to get lost somewhere and I really missed him. Either I wanted to be with him or wanted to be alone. I even ditched my friends, because I wasn’t feeling good. I know they are my friends and they want to go and have some fun roaming around but not today, it wasn’t my day. I was fine in morning but I don’t know what happened during classes or after classes. I felt something was wrong and I had this urge to cry.

And this cold weather wasn’t helping at all, well winters are depressing at times. I had this urge to either roam around alone right now or go and cry in his arms. And since I can’t do the second one because he might be at work right now or might be busy so I decide to do the first thing.

I came out of the university gate and I felt like my mind was clouded.

My phone started ringing and my mind was battling whether I should look at the caller id or not and then when I took out my phone from my pocket, I looked at the caller id, I was surprised because I didn’t expect this.

I was hesitant a bit but then picked up the call, “Hey~” his voice almost teared up, I swore at that time, if he tells me one more word then I would start crying my eyes out right now, “look infront of you” my eyes were getting teary, “huh?” that’s all I could say.

I felt like I was hallucinating for a second because I saw him waving at me wearing my favorite blue hoodie. I started walking gripping my phone tight on my hand, I was taking slow steps and then suddenly I fastened my pace. I still couldn’t believe he was standing there and smiling at me, I ran to him and threw myself in his arms, I hugged him tight and he lifted me in the air.

I couldn’t care less about the stares we were getting because of me, I missed him so much. My tears started falling, because I was so overwhelmed, “I missed you so much”

“I missed you too my love”

“Thankyou for coming today and surprising me” I couldn’t describe how happy I was became he came to see me.

Author’s Note:

After getting into a new university as a post grad student, I got so busy and I miss writing so much ;_;

And at times I crave for hugs and miss my friends who are in different cities ;_; also I hope whoever reads feels better and since it’s still winters, sending you warm hugs 💕