Abuse Survivor - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Sometimes my trauma makes me feel like I’m just staring into a television playing static
dont read if not feeling well
no one relay talks about how helpless it feels to be in a culture that justifies and normalises child abuse. i cant talk to a "a trusted adult" they hit thier own kid. i cant call "cps" we dont have one, thier is child line but they wont help not realy. its so normal to hit children that i dont know a single kid that hasnt been hit. hiting children is soo normal its in our school sylabus, no realy, there is a eng ch in 9 th grade where they justify hiting children and if children feel bad or mad or anything when they get hit they are the bad guys cuz parents are oh so tired. that chapter desrvrs its own rant. its so normalised that when i shared with my friends some memories , i found that aprently my case is pheraps out of the normal amount of abuse . which is a wild line to say cuz abuse is not ok either way. its not untill 2007?8?9?6? did hiting children in schools became a crime. which still hapens, my second grade teacher used to hit us soo much i still feel traumatied to a point i cant trust treachers anymore . and if teachers arent hiting you they would let you know how much they want to beat you and how much they wished it was legal and how much you desrve to be hit and i am like bro i am 7 ??
by the way its legal for parents to hit thier children at home,so yeah goverment thanks for nothing!
also i am from a uraban city in my country next to my country's capital, so things are way worse in rural areas .
Thought of the evening: I would never have chosen DID; and I simply don't understand anyone who wish to have multiple personalities...
I haven't been aware of my life for the last few months, and I despise how out of control my life feels. I do not remember most of my life; those memories live with my alters but I (now) love them with my whole heart.
I would have rather I never ended up this way. We never wanted to be a system, and none of us would wish this on anyone.
However, I am glad I didn't have to go through those things alone. I'm grateful my mind put up barriers, so I don't have to live every day re-experiencing and remembering those things I've read of in my system's journal entries. I'm glad our mind kept us safe, I'm glad we did our best at the time.
I'm grateful that I had them when I did. I'm grateful I had someone watching out for us even when I didn't realise it. I'm grateful for the system who kept me as safe as they could. I'm glad I had them with me.
I love my brain for making me a family...
but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
“I am the sum of my parts, and my parts are absolutely phenomenal.” - Jeni Haynes in her memoir The Girl in the Green Dress speaking on DID/MPD
~ host
Not to make anyone worry, but saying you're a CDD system can make you a target for abusers and bullying.
By stating you're a system
You're disclosing that you went through debilitating trauma at a young age
You're disclosing that you may act like a young child in certain situations, and that child may not know, or understand certain acts
You disassociate to a level where we do not know what was done by/to the collective body
You're telling people that you may have patches of amnesia, disorientation, and where you may split under pressure
Many systems have issues with self harm, suicidal thoughts, substance use disorders and unfortunately, many abusers will take advantage of this
Systems, due to their amnesiac nature, are very easy to gaslight, often by saying that a different part/alter did or didn't do something
But Kyle! What can I do about it?!?
Choose, very carefully, who you tell that you have a system. We try not to tell new people in our life until we're fully trusting that they won't take advantage of the knowledge of the system. Even then, we can count on one hand how many of our in person friends and family are aware of our system.
Avoid linking social media, this includes discord, where you are 'out' about your system to other social media, especially around workplaces. Some workplaces, schools, universities and other places still hold stigma around DID (thank you, Split /s).
Be careful what you tell people about your system: keeping alter counts private, not giving out certain alter's names, using pseudonyms/symbols for alters are some of the ways we've done this. If someone we don't want to know about the system asks about an alter name, the majority of the time, we'll say that they're an OC.
Most people don't know what DID and OSDD are unless they have been in certain circles or happen to have an interest in it, so you are usually safe… but I always air on the side of caution.
Do what you wish with this list, I wanted to put these thoughts out there. Stay safe, feel free to reblog with more ways you keep your system safe.
Drink water, have something to eat, have your meds if you need them, use your mobility aids if you need them, and do something nice for yourself today.
With love,
System Dad (Kyle / 💜)
Biting people is normal. But biting someone so hard to the point of harming them on purpose, especially when they scream stop is not normal. I also bite people, but I also know when to stop. I know not to bite hard, I know to make sure they’re okay with it. Which I often bite (certain) friends and when I was in a relationship I bit said partner a many time (often time they’d bite me back) it’s called a love bite, I never bit them hard enough to hurt them or bruise them but If I did and they told me that they didn’t like it anymore I would have stopped. I also wanna say I pretty sure Wilbur is autistic and biting is a autistic trait! I say this not to defend him but to make my point clear. I know Wilbur himself did not verbally say he’s autistic, but he’s mentioned in stream that teachers at his school wanted to get him tested. (I think that’s mostly proof enough) my point is that he knew he was hurting her and that quite clear. To involve a safe word means you know your causing harm and it’s there to help prevent that. Yet he ignored said safe word and still bit her. I also wanna say he’s not your “cute soft little guy who didn’t know what he was doing” HES ALMOST 30! HES 27, a grown man who clearly knows what he did is fucked but clearly does not fucking care.
Fuck imallexx and anyone who still supports him please seek help, pages of evidence that show this man is a prick is available, educate yourself. I support alice with my whole heart, I wish the best and I hope she heals if she hasn’t already.
All my love and support goes out to her. not only is she a victim, she’s a survivor. I’m glad she wasn’t silenced cause she deserves to be heard.
I make this post for the men who have trauma and constantly get discredited for it or ignored, silenced, and told to be quiet just because they are a man. Anyone who thinks vulnerability is weak is ridiculous. Show support for all victims no matter their gender.
Mens rape, abuse, and sexual assault matters just as equally as it does for women. My platform is for both men and women, and for anyone in between. It’s for people who need a voice because they are scared to speak up, because they are told their story doesn’t matter, because they are forced to stay quiet, because they are told it’s their fault.
I’m here to tell you it’s not your fault, that your story’s valid and there are dozens of people who understand, who gone through similar, who are here to support you through it.